578 Clock Jokes to Keep You Laughing Around the Clock

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to tick through the realm of clock jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the peak of timely humor.

That’s why we’ve wound up a list of the most laugh-out-loud clock jokes.

From second-hand puns to time-telling one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every moment of the day.

So, let’s dive into the heart of tick-tock humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Clock Jokes

Clock jokes are timeless classics that never fail to tickle your funny bone.

They’re not just about the simple object, but they also touch upon our everyday struggles with time management, punctuality, and even the inevitable march of time itself.

Clocks, with their relentless ticking and ever-circling hands, provide a never-ending source of comedic inspiration.

Creating the perfect clock joke involves a clever play on words, toying with the concept of time, and the universally relatable experiences we all have with clocks (like the dread of alarm clocks or the puzzling speed of a ‘minute’ when you hit the snooze button).

Ready to have a good time?

Wind up your laughter gears with these hilarious clock jokes:

Why couldn’t the clock stop eating? It went back four seconds!
What did the clock do at the Halloween party? It went “tick or treat!”
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to tell him it’s always ticking.
Why did the clock in the cafeteria always run slow? Because it always went back four seconds.
What did one clock say to the other clock that was running late? “Don’t worry, I got your back!”
Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It was too loud and had “second” thoughts!
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash!
What did the clock say to the calendar? “I’m alarmed by your dates!”
Why was the clock banned from the library? It kept going “tick-tock” instead of “quiet please!”
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? “Look, no hands!”
Why did the alarm clock get a divorce? It couldn’t keep its hands off the snooze button!
Why did the clock go on a diet? It was tired of going back four seconds!
Why did the clock always get the promotion? It had great “tick-tition” skills!
Why did the alarm clock break up with the snooze button? It needed a little space!
What’s a clock’s favorite type of music? Rock around the clock!
Why was the clock so bad at being a detective? It couldn’t keep track of the time.
Why did the computer go to the clock’s party? It heard there would be chips!
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back for “seconds”!
Why did the clock go to the party? Because it knew how to “tick”le everyone’s funny bone!
Why was the clock so bad at making friends? It always had ticks!
Why did the clock start a fight with the calendar? It wanted to show it who’s “tick-tock”!
Why was the clock always tired? It’s been “winding” down all day!
Why did the clock go to see the principal? It wanted to be recognized for its outstanding “tock” record!
Why did the clock always eat seconds? It was always hungry for more time.
What do you call a clock that’s also a detective? Sherlock Clock.
Why did the clock always feel stressed? It was always under-ticking!
Why did the clock get kicked out of the dance party? It couldn’t keep in time with the beat!
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to face the consequences.
What do you call a clock on the moon? A lunar-tick!
Why did the clock join the army? It wanted to learn how to keep military time!
Why did the clock join a band? It wanted to be a real face-tick!
Why did the alarm clock get arrested? It was charged with “disturbing the peace”!
What did the clock say to calm itself down? “Just hang in there, you’re ticking all the right boxes!”
What do you call a story about a clock? It’s a tick-tick-ticking time tale.
What did the clock say to the moth? “Buzz off, I’m busy!”
Why was the clock always nervous? It had a ticking problem!
Why did the clock lose all its money? It spent too much time!
What do you call a clock that’s always hungry? A second hand that’s always ticking!
What did one clock say to the other clock? “I’ll always have your back!”
Why did the clock go back four seconds? It was just trying to rewind time.
Why did the clock go to the dance? Because it knew how to “waltz” the time away!
What did one clock say to the other when it saw a watch? “Hands up, this is a tick-up!”
Why did the clock go to the dance? It had good timing.
Why did the clock start a band? It already had its hands and face.
Why did the clock go to the dance party? It wanted to do the “hands in the air” move.
How does a clock greet its friends? “Hi, hands down!”
Why did the clock go back four seconds? Because it heard there was a “timer” in the oven.
Why did the clock go to the bar? It wanted to get “wound” up!
What did one clock say to the other clock at the party? “I’m hooked on your second hand!”
Why was the clock so frustrated? It just couldn’t find the right minute-hand.
What did the clock say to the misbehaving watch? “You need to watch your hands!”
Why did the clock always get second place in the talent show? It just couldn’t find the right rhythm.
What do you call a clock that’s afraid of going back in time? Clock-a-phobic!
Why did the man put his alarm clock in the freezer? He wanted to wake up to “cool” sounds!
What did the clock do when it saw a horror movie? It went “tick or treat”!
Why did the clock go on a diet? It wanted to watch its “waist” of time!
What did one clock say to the other? “I’m feeling ticked off.”
Why did the clock go to the psych ward? It was going cuckoo!
Why did the clock go broke? It didn’t have enough time to make ends meet!
What do you call a story that one clock tells to another? Second-hand information!
Why did the clock go back four seconds? It was feeling a little sluggish.
Why was the clock in the I.T. department late? It had a software update!
Why did the clock always feel lonely? It just couldn’t find the right “minute” to hang out with!
Why did the man put his clock in the freezer? Because he wanted to have a chilling time.
Why did the clock go to the gym? To get a little extra tock-sercise.
What did the clock do at the dance party? It “shook” the whole night away!
What did one clock say to the other clock when it was late? “Don’t worry, we’ll just go back in time and fix it!”
Why did the clock become a private investigator? It always had time to sleuth around!
What do you call a clock that’s been unfaithful? Two-timing timepiece.
Why do clocks break up with each other? They’re always “ticking” each other off!
Why did the clock become a detective? It always knew how to “watch” the time of the crime!
Why don’t clocks ever feel lonely? They always go tick-tock, tick-tock.
What did the clock say to its mother? “I’m tick-tockingly proud of you!”
Why did the clock always lose at poker? It was easy to read its “tells.”
What do you call a clock that’s been thrown out the window? Time flies!
Why did the clock go to the dance party? It wanted to “twist and tock” the night away!
What do you call a clock on wheels? A tireless timepiece.
Why did the clock go to a costume party? It wanted to go in disguise, and it had plenty of hands to choose from!
What did one clock say to the other clock at the party? “Let’s go back a bit and have a good time!”
Why did the clock stop working? It just couldn’t take a second more!
Why was the clock always on the go? It didn’t like to stand still and get “time”d down.
What do you call a clock that’s always wrong? A complete waste of time!
What did one clock say to the other clock at a party? “I’m feeling tick-tacular!”
Why couldn’t the clock go to the dance? It had two left feet.
Why did the clock go to the art gallery? It wanted to see some “second” masterpieces!
Why was the clock so good at winning races? It always knew how to “second” itself!
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to become a “watch” dog.
How do you know when a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.
Why did the clock start a fight? It wanted to face the hands of time!
Why did the clock start a fight at the party? It heard the tick-tock was talking behind its back!

Short Clock Jokes

Short clock jokes are like an accurate timepiece — timely, precise, and unexpectedly funny.

These jokes are perfect for a quick text message, a social media post, or for that moment when you want to lighten the mood in a conversation.

The charm of short clock jokes lies in their ability to make time fly with laughter, delivering amusement in just a few seconds.

And now, just like clockwork, here are some short clock jokes that deliver a quick tickle of the funny bone in no time at all.

Why did the clock go broke? It couldn’t make ends meet!
Why did the clock become a detective? To solve some tickling mysteries!
Why did the clock always wear a cape? It was a superhero-timer!
Why don’t skeletons wear wristwatches? They don’t have the time!
What did the clock say to the moth? Time to fly!
Why did the alarm clock refuse to work? It needed time off!
Why was the clock cold? It left its hands outside the covers!
Why did the clock get in trouble? It was two-timing!
What do you call a story about time traveling? A clock-tale!
Why was the clock always ready to fight? It had second hands!
What did the clock say to calm its nerves? “Just keep ticking!”
Why did the clock get in trouble? It always went clockwise!
What did the clock say to the calendar? “I’m all wound up!”
Why do clocks always win at poker? They have good “second” hands.
Why did the alarm clock sue the snooze button? It wanted revenge!
Why did the alarm clock get promoted? It had good timing!
What kind of clock hangs out in the forest? A cuckoo clock!
Why did the clock join the gym? To work on its handsprings!
How do you know when a clock is scared? It gets ticklish!
What did the clock say when it was still hungry? “Seconds, please!”
Why did the clock always win the race? It had perfect timing!
What did the digital clock say to the analog clock? Hands up!

Clock Jokes One-Liners

Clock jokes one-liners are moments of humor captured in the tick-tock of a single sentence.

They’re the comedic equivalent of setting the alarm just right to wake up on the perfect side of the bed – timely, precise, and effortlessly funny.

Carving a great clock one-liner takes a mix of creativity, sharpness, and a deep understanding of the art of puns.

The challenge lies in assembling the setup and punchline into a neatly packed form, delivering maximum laughter with minimal syllables.

So, let’s wind up and get ready to tickle your funny bone with these clock one-liners:

I asked the clock if it was time for a break, but it said it didn’t have the hands for it.
The clock was feeling insecure, so it decided to work on its face value.
I finally got rid of my broken clock, it was just taking up too much time.
My clock is always late for work. It just doesn’t seem to have the drive.+.
I told my clock a joke, but it just went back in time and told it to me first.
Why did the alarm clock get in trouble? It couldn’t stop snoozing.
Why did the clock always know the answer in math class? It had good times tables.
I tried to make a clock out of cheese, but it was too cheesy.
I asked my alarm clock to wake me up with a funny joke, but instead it just snoozed on the job.
Why do clocks make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always secondhand.
I tried to sell my old clock, but no one wanted it because it was just too time-consuming.
I told my clock that I wanted to be a comedian. It said, “Well, it’s about time.”
My clock is always late because it can never find the time.
I asked my clock if it had any spare time, but it replied, “Sorry, I’m all wound up.”
Why did the clock get in trouble at work? It kept tocking back and forth instead of working!
I bought a new clock, but it just sits there judging me with its hands.
I wanted to buy a new clock, but I didn’t have the time.
My clock just went back four seconds. I suspect it’s plotting something.
My clock became a magician because it always knew how to make time disappear.
Why did the clock go to the party alone? It didn’t have a “second” to bring along!
I told my alarm clock that I want to be a morning person, but it just laughed and said, “Not on my watch!”
What did the clock say to the calendar? “You’ve got a lot of dates!”
I tried to set my clock forward, but it just ended up ticking me off.
I wanted to go to the clock repair shop, but I didn’t have the time.
Why did the clock lose the race? It couldn’t “hour” up to the competition!
Why was the clock always hungry? It could never resist seconds.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
My alarm clock and I have a love-hate relationship. It loves to wake me up, and I hate it for doing that.
I told my clock a joke, but it didn’t laugh. It just went back for seconds.
I asked the clock if it was hungry and it said, “No, I already went back four seconds.”
I used to be a clock repairer, but I eventually ran out of time.
Why did the alarm clock go to the therapist? It had an alarming obsession with time!
I tried to catch the clock, but I didn’t have enough time.
Why did the clock get promoted? It always knew how to handle the seconds.
I once bought a used watch, but it didn’t tick.
Why did the alarm clock start doing stand-up comedy? It wanted to tickle people’s funny bones!
I used to be addicted to time, but then I realized it was just a minute problem.
Why did the clock become a detective? It always had a second hand for clues!
What did the clock say to the calendar? “Is it time for a date?”
What did the clock say to its mother? “I’m tickled to be part of your family!”
I once met a clock that always had time for a second opinion.
I bought a new clock, but it just wasn’t ticking my boxes.
Why did the clock need a lawyer? It was accused of “second” degree murder!
My alarm clock and I have a love-hate relationship, it rings and I hate it!
I asked my clock if it could lend me some money, but it said it was always strapped for time.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I bought a clock that only tells time in the future. It’s ahead of its time.
Why did the clock go to the dance floor? It wanted to do the “tick-tock” dance.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
I used to be a clock repairman, but I couldn’t keep up with the times.
Why was the clock’s performance a hit? It knew how to tickle everyone’s funny bone!
Did you hear about the watch that went on a diet? It lost a couple of hands.
I tried to make a clock out of cheese, but all I ended up with was a big second-hand embarrassment.
The clock was so lazy, it went back four seconds just to sleep in.
I thought I saw a clock in the bakery, but it turned out to be a pie-timer.
I bought a clock that only tells time in the past, but it was just a second-hand one.
What did the clock say to its mother when it got in trouble? “I’m just ticking after your own hands!”
Why was the clock always so calm? It had good time management skills.
I tried to make a clock out of baked beans, but it was just a waste of time.
I asked my clock if it was ticklish. It said no, but it always has time for a good laugh.
I have a phobia of clocks, but it’s only a matter of time before I get over it.
What did the clock say to the coffee maker? “I’m hooked on you!”
I asked my clock if it wanted to go for a walk, but it just stood there with a blank face.
Why did the clock always feel hungry? It went back four seconds every minute!
I once dated a broken clock, but it was just too time-consuming.
What did the clock say to its mom? I’ll give you a second to think about it.
What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
I told my clock that it was time to retire, but it just kept ticking and ignored me.
What do you call a clock that throws parties? A “tick-tock-ular” clock.
My boss told me I should be more punctual. So I bought a really big clock and stood next to it all day.
What did the clock say to the watch? You’re wrist-taking your time!
I tried to make a clock out of cheese, but I couldn’t find the right curds.
I asked my clock what time it is, and it replied, “Sorry, I’m ticklish.”
Why did the alarm clock break up with the snooze button? It just wasn’t tickling its fancy anymore.
My clock and I have a love-hate relationship. It ticks me off, but I can’t live without it.
What’s the best way to become a clock expert? Just spend some time on it!
Why did the clock become a detective? It always had a hunch about the hands of time.
Why did the clock get promoted? It always kept its hands on the job!
What did the clock say to the calendar? “I’m always ahead of you.”
I thought about becoming a watchmaker, but I couldn’t find the time.
Why did the clock go to the barbershop? It needed a little trim, tick, and tock.
I was going to give my friend a clock as a gift, but I realized it was a second-hand present.
Why did the clock become a math teacher? It loved teaching students how to count seconds!
I used to work at a clock factory, but I got fired for taking too many seconds off.
What do you call a group of clocks that sing together? A clock-a-pella group!
I used to be addicted to time travel, but that’s all in the past now.
My clock and I have a great relationship, we go tick-tock together.
The clock and the calendar decided to have a race. The clock won hands down.
Why was the clock always late? It had a bad tick-tock!
I’m hooked on clocks, it’s become a second addiction.
I couldn’t become a clock repairman because I didn’t have the time.
Why did the clock get kicked out of the comedy club? It couldn’t stop ticking!
I wanted to be a clock for Halloween, but I didn’t have the time to make a costume.
Why did the clock join a gym? It wanted to get some extra hands!
If a clock is hungry, does it go back four seconds?
What did one clock say to the other clock at the dance? “Let’s boogie ’til the hands fall off!”
Why did the clock go to the psychologist? It had too many seconds of ticking anxiety.
I asked my clock what it wanted to be when it grew up, it said, “I’m just tickin’ one day at a time.”
My clock just went on a diet, it’s now hands-free!
Why did the grandfather clock start a band? It wanted to have its own timeless music.
I accidentally swallowed some clock parts, now I just hope I have time to pass them.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I was going to tell you a time travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
I used to have a fear of speed dating, but then I realized time flies when you’re having fun.
Why did the clock get into a fight with the calendar? It wanted to be hands down the best timekeeper.
The clock was a terrible stand-up comedian because all its jokes were just a second too late.
What did the clock say when it was being chased? “Hands off! I’m ticklish!”
What’s a clock’s favorite dessert? Second pudding!
Why did the clock go to the therapist? It had a tick-ing time bomb inside.
Why did the clock become a stand-up comedian? It always knew how to tickle people’s funny bones!
Why did the clock get promoted? It knew how to “tick” all the boxes!
I saw a clock that said it was hungry. It must have been a second hand clock.
I bought a new clock, but it just wouldn’t listen. It had too many hands on its plate.
Why did the alarm clock get arrested? It kept snoozing the police.
I tried to write a joke about clocks, but it only had a second hand punchline.
I bought a new clock, but it just ticks me off.
What do you call a clock that’s angry? Tick-off time.
I used to have a clock that would constantly talk, it was just a ticking time bomb.
My clock and I were in a rap battle, but it always beat me with its sick beats. It had perfect timing!
I accidentally swallowed my clock, and now it’s ticking inside me. Guess you could say I have a second stomach.
What did the clock say to the watch? Don’t worry, we’re all just passing time!
I tried to make a clock out of ice, but it melted. It was a ticklish situation.
I have a clock that makes a loud noise every hour. It’s driving me cuckoo.
Why was the clock so bad at making decisions? It was always second-guessing itself!
I bought a clock that only tells me the hours. It’s a real time-saver.
Why was the clock always feeling sleepy? It had too many alarm-ing nights!
I have a clock that tells time in dog years. It’s a real time-paw-saver.
I asked my clock what it wanted for its birthday. It said, “A little extra time with you.”
I told my clock that I wanted to see the hands move faster, so it replied, “Sorry, I can’t give you a second-hand experience.”
Why did the alarm clock go to the therapist? It had issues with its wake cycle!
The clock decided to go on a diet because it wanted to watch its weight.
I asked the clock what time it was, but it just went back for seconds.
Why did the clock go to the bar? To get a little “time” for itself.
I bought a new clock, but it was too time-consuming to set up.
Why was the clock always so happy? Because it knew how to “face” every second with a smile!
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday and she said, “A watch.” I guess I’ll have to watch what I say now.
I saw a clock at the gym and asked, “What are you training for?” It replied, “Hands-free exercises!”
Why don’t clocks ever go on vacation? Because they’re always “wound” up at work!
I asked my clock if it wanted to hang out, but it said it was too busy counting down the seconds.
I used to have a fear of clocks, but I’ve learned to face my second hand.

Clock Dad Jokes

Clock dad jokes are the ultimate concoction of witty banter and time-tested humor that can induce a hearty laugh or a frustrated groan in equal measures.

These are the kind of jokes that are so punny, they’re timeless.

Perfect for family get-togethers, friendly chit-chats, or just to tickle someone’s funny bone.

Get ready for some eye-rolling and laughter.

Here are some clock dad jokes that are bound to keep you tickled:

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to his game? In case he got a hole in one!
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn!
Why did the scarecrow keep looking at his clock? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a clock that’s afraid to tell the time? A cuckoo-coward!
Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
Why did the alarm clock win an award? Because it was always outstanding in its field!
Why did the scarecrow always carry a clock? Because he wanted to be outstanding in his field!
What do you call a clock that likes to sleep all day? Lazy-timer!
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? Because it was always ticking off the other clocks!
What did the Dalmatian say after eating dinner? That hit the spot!
How do you organize a space party? You just planet!
Why did the alarm clock go to the gym? It wanted to get in some extra ticks.
What did the clock say to the watch? “Hands up, you’re under arrest!”
Why did the scarecrow become a successful clockmaker? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you get when you cross a clock with a chicken? A clock-a-doodle-do!
Why was the clock cold? Because it left its hands out of its pockets!
What did the alarm clock say to the snooze button? “Why do you always have to be so tempting? You make it hard for me to “face” the day!”
What do you call a grandfather clock that tells jokes? A “tick-tock-ular” comedian!
Why did the clock bring a pencil to the party? It wanted to draw some hands!
What did the big hand say to the little hand? I’m right behind you!
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
Why do clocks make terrible actors? They always second-guess their lines!
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why did the clock go back four seconds? Because it wanted to be a little behind!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why did the clock go to the party? It wanted to have a good time, hands down!
Why did the clock go to the party alone? Because it didn’t have time for a plus one!
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? Because it felt like it was always being watched.
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
What did the clock say to calm itself down? “Just take a second!”
Why was the clock in the cafeteria always on a diet? It wanted to watch its seconds!
What did the clock say to the coffee maker? “I’m really enjoying our “brew”-tiful time together!”
What did the clock say to the calendar? “Are you free next week?”
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
How do you know when it’s time to go to the dentist? When you need a tooth-hurty appointment.
Why did the clock go to the coach? It wanted to learn how to unwind.
What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty! (2:30).
Why was the clock always late to work? Because it kept going back four seconds!
How does a clock get fit? It exercises its “second” hand!
Why did the grandfather clock become a stand-up comedian? Because it had great timing!
What do you call a clock that’s always on the floor? A ground-timer!
Why did the clock get a promotion? Because it kept ticking all the boxes!
Why did the clock go to see the psychiatrist? Because it was feeling ticked off!
What did one clock say to the other clock at the dance party? Let’s boogie-woogie and tick-tock all night!
Why did the clock stop working? It felt secondhand!
Why did the clock go back four seconds? It heard the others saying, “Look, it’s five to!” and wanted to fit in!
Why did the clock make a bad comedian? It always had “second” thoughts!
What do you call a clock that’s afraid to go outside? Chicken tik-tok!
Why did the clock go on a diet? Because it had too many seconds!
How does a clock get fit? By doing a lot of tock-a-robics!
Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
Why was the clock always calm and collected? Because it knew how to keep its hands under control!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
What did one clock say to the other? “I’ll be hanging around, hands down!”
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to “tock” about its behavior!
Why did the scarecrow bring a clock to the field? Because he wanted to keep track of the corn-er!
Why did the clock join a band? Because it knew how to keep time!
Why was the clock always nervous? Because it had too much on its hands!
Why did the clock go broke? It spent all its time!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? Because it lost its bearings.
How do you make a clock laugh? Tick-le its funny bone!
Why was the math book sad when it looked at the clock? Because time flies when you’re having fun!
Why couldn’t the clock keep a secret? It always tocked too much!
Why did the clock in the cafeteria always run fast? It wanted to “serve” lunch before everyone else!
Why did the clock always feel lonely? Because it had too many “second” thoughts!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
What did one wall clock say to the other? “I’ll see you at the same face tomorrow!”
Why do clocks love going on vacation? Because they always need some time to unwind!
What do you call a story about a broken clock? Second-hand information!
Why did the man sit on the clock? Because he wanted to be on “time”!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, and not enough “time” to solve them all!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!
Why did the computer go to the clock repair shop? Because it had a second hand!
How do you fix a broken clock? You just need to give it a “second” chance!
Why did the clock join the gym? It wanted to get “ripped” and have more “hands”!
Why do clocks always win races? Because they’re always ahead!
What did one clock say to the other when it was late? “I’m sorry, I lost track of time!”
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
Why did the girl bring a ladder to the clock tower? Because she wanted to reach the highest “hour”!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Why did the alarm clock get a job? Because it wanted to make some “extra” time!
I tried to catch some fog yesterday, but I mist.

Clock Jokes for Kids

Clock jokes for kids are like the tick-tock of laughter in their lives—rhythmic, consistent, and always right on time to bring a smile.

These jokes not only entertain but also help children learn about time in an amusing way.

They inspire kids to engage with numbers, hours, and minutes, and understand the concept of time while enjoying a good laugh.

Plus, clock jokes for kids have the added advantage of turning an everyday object into a source of merriment.

Suddenly, the clock on the wall isn’t just a device to tell time, but also a treasure trove of jests.

Ready to enjoy some timely fun?

Here are some clock jokes that will have them laughing round the clock:

Why did the clock keep going back four seconds? It was feeling a bit “secondhand”!
What did the clock say to the calendar? “You’re days are numbered!”
Why did the scarecrow bring a clock to the cornfield? Because he wanted to have corn-trol over time!
Why did the clock get a medal? Because it won second hands down!
Why did the clock join the band? It wanted to keep “tock” of the beat!
How do you know when it’s time to go to the dentist? The clock “tooth” hurts!
Why did the alarm clock always lose at hide and seek? Because it always had a ringing clue!
What time is it when an elephant sits on your clock? Time to get a new clock!
Why did the clock win the race? It always knew how to “tick” well!
What did the alarm clock say to the snooze button? “You’re my dream come true!”
Why did the clock get into a fight? It had a tickle on its hands!
Why was the clock always running late? It was always “behind” schedule!
What did one clock say to the other when it was being mean? “You’re ticking me off!”
Why did the alarm clock get a Nobel Prize? Because it invented the snooze button!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems! The clock told it to take time to relax.
What did the clock say when it was hungry? “I’m feeling a bit second-hand!”
Why did the clock always get elected? It had a great tick-tock speech!
Why did the boy bring a clock to the library? Because he wanted to kill time!
Why did the clock always feel stressed? It was always under too much “ticking” pressure!
What did the clock say to the calendar? “I’ve got my eye on you!”
What do you get if you cross a clock and a chicken? An alarm cluck!
Why was the clock always running? It didn’t want to get caught by time!
Why did the clock join the band? It had good “timing” skills!
Why did the clock go to the army? To do some timekeeping!
What did the big clock say to the little clock at bedtime? “Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs “tock” you!”
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It got caught tick-tocking during the exam!
Why did the clock get a gold medal? It was excellent at second-place!
What did the clock say when it was hungry? “I’m going cuckoo for lunch!”
Why did the clock get in trouble at school? It tocked too much during class!
What’s a clock’s favorite thing to wear? A “tick-tock” sweater!
Why was the math book sad when it looked at the clock? It knew time would keep multiplying!
Why did the clock win the race? It had a good “second” wind!
Why did the girl bring a ladder to the clock? Because she heard it had all the “seconds”!
What did the big clock say to the little clock? “You’re too young to be watching all these faces!”
Why did the clock get kicked out of class? It couldn’t stop talking about all its ticks and tocks!
Why was the grandfather clock always in a bad mood? It had too many ticks and not enough tocks!
What did the clock say to the cat? Stop paw-sing around!
What did one clock say to the other clock when it was time to go? “Let’s run away together!”
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to tell on the hands for always touching each other!
What kind of clock does a vampire use? A count-down timer.
What did the clock say to the other clock at school? “High noon!”
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to tell the teacher that time was running out!
Why was the clock always getting in trouble at school? Because it was always ticking off the teacher!
How does a clock go to sleep? It sets its alarm and wraps itself in a blanket!
Why did the alarm clock get in trouble? It went “back in time” without permission!
What is a clock’s favorite type of music? Tick-tock and roll!
What did the clock say to the hungry kid? “Second hand goes with me, time for seconds!”
What’s a clock’s favorite type of math? “Second” grade!
Why was the clock always running late? It had too many seconds thoughts!
What did the big clock say to the little clock? “Watch” me and you’ll learn how to tell time!
Why couldn’t the clock go fishing? It didn’t have the time!
Why did the alarm clock get a promotion? It always “woke” up on time!
What do you call a story about a clock that’s always late? A tale of “tick”ery!
Why was the clock in the band? It had great timing!
What do you call a clock that’s afraid of the dark? A terrified tick-tocker!
Why did the clock get in trouble? It tocked too much and didn’t listen!
Why did the clock go to the circus? It wanted to see a second hand stand!
Why did the clock always win at poker? Because it had a good poker face and knew when to “tick” or “tock”!
How do you know a clock is shy? It always hides its hands!
Why did the clock go to school? It wanted to become “hands-on” with education!
Why did the alarm clock get in trouble? It kept ticking off the other clocks!
What did the clock say to the jokester? “It’s about time you told a good one!”
What do you call a clock that loves to dance? A TikTok clock!
Why did the clock get in trouble in school? It was always “tocking” back to the teacher!
What time do most ghosts wake up? At the witching hour!
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to get “ticked off” the list!
Why did the clock go to the dance party? It wanted to “turn back time” and boogie!
Why did the alarm clock get promoted? Because it always made sure to wake up on time!
What did the clock say when it saw a doughnut? “It’s time to eat!”
Why was the clock afraid of going to the dance? It didn’t know how to two-step!
Why did the clock become a detective? It always had the time to solve the case!
What did one clock say to the other clock when they went on vacation? See you in a second.
What time do you get when you cross a vampire and a clock? The Witching Hour.
Why did the clock always wear a tie? Because it knew how to “knot” the time.
What do you call a clock that is always sleepy? Alarm clock!
Why did the clock always feel sleepy? It was “winding” down too much!
Why did the alarm clock start an argument? It was ticking people off!
What did the big hand say to the little hand? Got a minute?
What did one clock say to the other clock during a race? “We’ll go “second” to none!”
Why did the clock go to the dance party? It wanted to show off its dance moves and have a great time on the dance floor!
Why did the clock get a medal? Because it “ticked” all the right boxes!
Why did the clock go to the mountains? It wanted to see the peak of time!
What did one clock say to the other clock when it was too slow? Stop dragging your hands!
What did the alarm clock say to the other alarm clock? “Awake to the possibilities!”.
Why did the clock go to the beach? It wanted to catch some “sun-dial”!
Why did the clock start a fight? It had too many hands!
Why was the clock always running late? It just couldn’t keep its hands to itself!
Why did the clock go to the library? To borrow some “time” books.
What did one clock say to the other when they were running late? “Let’s go, we’re out of “time”!
How does a clock get fit? It goes for a “tick” every day!
What did the clock do when it saw a ghost? It went back four seconds!
Why was the clock always hungry? Because it went back four seconds every time it ticked!
What did the clock say to the calendar? “You can’t fool me; I have all the numbers!”
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to tell him that time flies when you’re having fun!
What do you call a clock that gets angry easily? A “temper-tick” clock!
Why are clocks always hungry? Because they always go back four seconds!
What did the alarm clock say to the boy who couldn’t wake up? “I’m ticked off with you!”
What’s a clock’s favorite thing to say to the time? “Hands up!”
Why did the alarm clock get a medal? Because it always knows how to wake up on time and start the day with a bang!
Why did the clock always lose at poker? It had too many “hands”!
Why was the clock always looking for a new job? It wanted to make some “extra” time!
Why did the clock bring a flashlight to the party? Because it wanted to shed some light on the dance floor!
Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It was too noisy, always going tick-tock!
Why did the clock get a gold medal? Because it had the best “second” wind!
What’s a clock’s favorite song? Tick tock, tick tock, you rock!
Why couldn’t the clock go to the dance party? It didn’t know how to “swing”!
What did one clock say to the other clock at the party? I’ll go back four seconds.
Why did the clock get in trouble at school? Because it kept tocking back!
What do you get if you cross a clock and a monster? Tick-tock-zilla!
Why did the clock go to the therapist? It was feeling “wound” up!
Why did the clock always wear a crown? It ruled the clock kingdom!

Clock Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t appreciate a good clock joke?

Clock jokes for adults crank up the humor, merging sophisticated wit with a hint of boldness.

Just like the intricate gears of a clock, these jokes combine elements of humor, intellect, and a dash of audacity for a timeless laugh.

These jokes are perfect for cocktail parties, dinner gatherings, or simply to break the ice in a formal conversation among colleagues.

Here are some clock jokes that are timely for adults:

Why did the clock get kicked out of the race? It couldn’t keep its hands off the finish line.
Why did the clock get in trouble at work? It was always ticking off the boss!
Why did the clock go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a date – it was always ticking!
What did the clock say when it saw its hands were missing? “I’m ticked off!”
Why was the clock always calm? It knew how to go with the flow of time!
Why did the clock always win at poker? It had a great poker face – it never showed its hands!
Why did the clock call the police? It wanted to report a second-hand crime.
Why did the clock always feel nervous? It was under constant pressure!
Why did the clock go to the rock concert? It wanted to see the hands go up in the air!
Why did the clock have a successful career as a comedian? It always “tocked” at the right time!
Why was the clock always looking so worried? It heard it was running out of time!
Why did the clock always get invited to parties? It knew how to make time fly!
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It got caught for tocking too much!
Why did the clock make a terrible chef? It could only go back four seconds.
Why did the clock go to therapy? It had trouble with all the ticks and tocks of life!
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It just couldn’t find the right time for a relationship!
Why was the clock invited to the party? It always knew how to have a good time!
Why did the clock start a band? It loved the sound of its own “ticks” and “tocks”!
Why did the clock go to the therapist? It had a hard time keeping its hands from turning backwards!
Why did the man throw his clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly!
Why did the clock feel stressed? It couldn’t stop thinking about the hands of time!
Why was the clock always late for work? It had too many “hands” in its schedule!
What did the clock say to its owner when it was hungry? “Can you give me a second?”
Why was the clock always stressed? It had too many hands to deal with!
Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It kept ticking off the librarian!
Why did the clock go to the bar? To get its hands on some drinks!
Why did the clock go on a vacation? It needed some time off!
Why did the clock become a teacher? It had a lot of ‘hands-on’ experience!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including time!
Why did the clock make a great teacher? It had excellent “second” language skills!
Why did the clock get fired from its job? It was always “watching” the clock instead of working!
Why did the clock go on a diet? It wanted to “shed a few seconds” and be more “clock-tacular”!
Why did the clock get in trouble at school? It couldn’t “keep” its hands to itself!
What did the clock do at the all-you-can-eat buffet? It went back four seconds.
Why did the alarm clock sue its owner? It wanted to be ticked off.
Why was the clock always late? It could never find the time.
Why did the clock get in trouble at school? Because it was always “watching” the students instead of paying attention!
What did the clock say to the watch that was running late? “You better clock in or you’ll be ticked off!”
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It said the relationship was just too time-consuming!
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It didn’t have time for that kind of commitment!
Why do clocks make terrible comedians? They always tickle the audience!
Why did the clock call a meeting? Because it felt it was time for a change!
What did one clock say to the other clock at the party? “We really need to hang out more!”
Why did the clock never go on vacation? It was afraid of “winding” up in unfamiliar places!
What did one clock say to the other clock at the dance party? “Let’s groove, it’s time to boogie!”
What did the clock say to the calendar? “I’m running out of time!”
Why did the alarm clock feel embarrassed? It didn’t want to wake up on the wrong side of the bed!
What did one clock say to the other clock when they were running late? “We really need to stop meeting like this!”
Why did the clock always feel lonely? It just needed someone to tickle its hands.
Why did the clock join the gym? It wanted to get in shape and have a “minute” of exercise!
What did one clock say to the other clock that was running late? “You’re just in time for the puns!”
Why did the alarm clock start dating the calculator? They were a perfect match, always counting on each other!
What do you call a clock that’s gone crazy? A ‘tock’ing time bomb!
Why did the clock go back four seconds? It wanted to see if it could turn back time!
What did the clock say to its son when it was time to go to bed? “It’s about time!”
Why did the clock get kicked out of the school? It couldn’t ‘face’ the punishment!
Why did the clock always show up late to the party? It couldn’t find the right time to go!
Why did the alarm clock file a police report? It got clocked for disturbing the peace!
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems to solve… it couldn’t even clock out!
Why was the clock always happy? It had a great sense of “tock”-humor!
Why was the clock always a great dancer? It had excellent timing on the dance floor!
Why did the clock go to the party alone? It didn’t want to be taken for granted!
Why did the clock become an artist? It wanted to make faces all day long!
Why was the clock a terrible comedian? Its jokes were always second hand!
Why did the clock join a band? It had great timing and loved to rock!
Why did the clock start a band? It wanted to ‘chime’ in on the music scene!
Why did the alarm clock break up with the clock radio? It couldn’t stand their constant “alarm-ing” disagreements!
What did one clock say to the other clock that was running late? “You really need to watch your time management!”
Why did the clock get promoted? It always kept a good face.
What did the wall clock say to the wristwatch? “Hands up, time flies!”
Why was the clock always late to meetings? It had a habit of second-guessing itself!
Why did the clock always lose at poker? It could never keep a straight face.
Why did the clock become a detective? It always knew how to “tick” down the clues and “track” down the culprits!
What do you call a clock that’s always late? At twelve, it’s fashionably delayed!
Why did the alarm clock go to the comedy club? It wanted to wake up the audience!
What kind of clock does a werewolf use? A hairy-er clock!
What do you call a clock that’s sarcastic? A smart tick!
Why did the clock become a detective? It always had the best second-hand information!
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It had too many hands.
Why did the clock get kicked out of the bakery? It always went back four seconds.
Why did the clock win an award? It was the “hands-down” funniest in the room!
What did one clock say to the other when it was being difficult? “You’re really pushing my buttons!”
Why did the clock become a detective? Because it always had its hands on the case!
Why did the clock always win at poker? Because it could always “keep a straight face” while the others “lost time”!
Why did the clock refuse to go skydiving? It was afraid it might “lose time” and never “make a second landing”!
What did one clock say to the other clock? “I’ll be hands-down the best at this!”
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It couldn’t handle their different schedules!
Why did the clock get into a fight? It couldn’t handle the ticking insults anymore!
What did the clock say to its mother? ‘It’s about ‘time’ you knew I’m always right!’.
Why did the clock join a gym? It wanted to get in shape for daylight saving time.
What do you call a clock that’s always running late? Punctuality-challenged!
What did the clock say to calm down its panicked friend? “Take a second, everything will be fine!”
Why did the clock get arrested? It was caught for second-degree hand robbery.
Why did the clock go to therapy? Because it had too many ticks and needed to find its tocks!
What did one clock say to the other clock at their high school reunion? “Long time no see!”
Why do clocks always win arguments? They know how to face the issues.
Why was the clock always cold? Because it was always ticking!
Why did the clock become a doctor? It wanted to help people with their time management issues!
Why do clocks always win arguments? They just know how to make time stand still!
Why was the clock always feeling sleepy? It was tired of working around the clock!
Why did the clock break up with the hourglass? It realized they just weren’t compatible – they didn’t have the same times!
Why did the clock go to the dance party? It wanted to “tick” all the right moves!
Why did the clock go to the dance party? It wanted to show off its moves and shake things up!
Why was the clock so good at making people laugh? It had great timing.
What did the clock say to the sleepy watch? “Wake up, you’re just in time!”
Why did the scarecrow bring a clock to the field? It wanted to be outstanding in its field!
Why did the clock start a band? It wanted to tick-tock the stage and rock the crowd!
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It was tired of all the dates.
Why did the clock get a medal? It always ‘winds’ up in first place!
What did the big clock say to the little clock? You’re ticking me off, you’ve got no hands on me!
Why did the clock start a band? It had good timing and rhythm.
Why did the clock make a terrible comedian? It always got ticked off by the audience’s bad timing.
Why did the clock join a band? It had a knack for keeping perfect timing!
Why did the man stare at the clock and frown? Because the clock was ticking him off!
Why was the clock always running late? It couldn’t find the right time to change its batteries!
Why did the clock go to the party? It wanted to “tock” to all its friends!
Why did the clock join a gym? It wanted to lose some “weight” and become “hands-on” fit!
Why was the clock always running? It just couldn’t find the time to stop!
Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It kept going “Tick, tock, tick, tock” too loudly.
What did the clock say to the watch? Hands down, you’re the second best!
Why did the clock go to the dance? It wanted to boogie the night away and have a tick-tocking good time!
What did one clock say to the other clock that was always late? “You better watch out, time is always ticking!”
Why did the clock go to the optometrist? It was having trouble with its second hand!

Clock Joke Generator

Telling a timeless clock joke can sometimes make you feel like you’re running out of time.

(Do you feel the tick-tock of humor here?)

This is where our FREE Clock Joke Generator comes in to rewind your humor.

Developed to incorporate witty puns, timely humor, and amusing phrases, it fabricates jokes that are sure to strike at the right moment.

Don’t let your humor lag behind the times.

Use our joke generator to invent jokes that are as timeless and entertaining as the clocks themselves.

FAQs About Clock Jokes

Why are clock jokes so popular?

Clock jokes are popular because of the universal nature of time and clocks.

Everyone is familiar with the concept of time, making these jokes easily relatable and understood by people of all ages and from different cultures.

Can clock jokes help in social situations?

Absolutely!

Clock jokes can be a great ice-breaker or a way to lighten the atmosphere in a social setting.

They are universally understood and can often bring about a chuckle or two, making them perfect for social situations.

How can I come up with my own clock jokes?

Think about the different components of a clock—its face, hands, numbers, ticking sound, alarm, etc.
Consider the universal aspects of time—time zones, daylight saving, being late or early, time travel, etc.
Look for pun opportunities or plays on words associated with time and clocks.
Try to inject an unexpected twist or surprise in your joke. This could be an unexpected punchline or an amusing observation.
Remember, humor often comes from exaggeration or absurdity, so don’t be afraid to think outside the box.