587 Cigar Jokes for a Full-Bodied Laugh

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re primed to light up the world of cigar jokes.

Not just any laughs, but the crème de la crème of chuckles.

That’s why we’ve rolled up a collection of the most amusing cigar jokes.

From smoky punchlines to full-bodied quips, our compilation has a joke for every puff of life.

So, let’s kindle the rich heart of cigar humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Cigar Jokes

Puff away your worries and light up some laughter with our collection of cigar jokes.

These jokes not only revolve around the rich, smoky aroma of cigars but also involve the culture and persona often associated with them.

From the image of a sophisticated gentleman puffing on a cigar, to the shared camaraderie in a cigar lounge, these elements provide plenty of fuel for humorous situations and witty punchlines.

The perfect cigar joke is a blend of clever wordplay, unexpected twists and the occasional playful jab at the extravagant indulgence of cigar smoking.

So whether you’re a cigar aficionado or a non-smoker who enjoys a good laugh, these cigar jokes are sure to ignite a spark of amusement.

Read on and let these jokes smoke out some hearty laughter.

How do cigars like to relax? They kick back and puff away their worries!
Why did the cigar get a promotion? It was burning up the corporate ladder.
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of exercise? Lunges!
What did the cigar say to the smoker? I’m burning with desire for you!
Why did the cigar win the race? Because it had a smoking start!
How do cigars keep their secrets? They “smoke” them away!
Why was the cigar smoking a pipe? Because it wanted to be a big tobacco!
Why did the cigar break up with its partner? They had too much smoke and not enough fire!
Why did the cigar become a musician? It wanted to blow smoke-rings around the notes!
How do cigars make decisions? They weigh their options with ash-tronomy.
Why did the cigar always carry a map? Because it didn’t want to get lost in “smoke and mirrors”!
How do cigars stay fit? They do lots of ash-tivities!
What do you call a cigar that gets all the ladies? A smooth operator!
Why do cigars never get lonely? Because they’re always surrounded by a cloud of smoke!
What do you call a cigar that’s good at math? A smoke-and-math-ician!
What do you call a cigar with no sense of humor? A “straight-faced stogie”!
What did one cigar say to the other at the poker game? “I bet you a smoke you’ll lose!”
Why was the cigar so great at making friends? It was always lighting up the room.
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You’re always burning out, but I’m always lighting up.” .
What do you call a cigar with no body? A smoke and mirrors illusion!
Why did the cigar refuse to tell jokes? It didn’t want to ash-ume anything!
What did the cigar say to its friend? “I’m always fired up and ready to go!”
Why did the cigar go to the gym? It wanted to work on its smoke-alicious physique!
How do cigars like to travel? In ash-tonishing style!
Why don’t cigars ever take vacations? They’re always burning through their time off!
Why did the cigar break up with its girlfriend? She was always giving him ash!
Why did the cigar refuse to share its secrets? Because it didn’t want to “spill the ashes”!
How do cigars throw a party? They always have a smokin’ good time!
Why was the cigar acting so suspicious? It was trying to cover up its ash-tivities!
What did the cigar say to the cigar cutter? “You always seem to have a cutting remark!”
Why did the cigar need glasses? It couldn’t see straight without its ash-pectacles.
Why did the cigar need a therapist? It had too many “burning” questions about life!
How do cigars stay fit? They do a lot of ash-tanga yoga.
How do cigars stay in shape? They always smoke a lot of exercise!
How do you start a conversation with a cigar? You light up the topic and let it smoke!
What do you call a cigar that can play musical instruments? A smoking hot musician!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You’re too short to be a real stogie!”
Why don’t cigars ever get lonely? Because they always have a good smoke to keep them company.
What did the cigar say to the snobby pipe? I may not have your fancy bowl, but I’m still “lit”!
How do cigars get their hair done? They go to the smoke salon!
Why did the cigar refuse to share its lighter? It was afraid of getting burned in a bad friendship!
What did one cigar say to the other while relaxing in the humidor? “Life is all about “rollin’ with the punches”!”
Why don’t cigars ever get invited to parties? Because they’re always smoking!
Why did the cigar have a hard time making friends? It always had a smoky personality!
What’s a cigar’s favorite dance move? The “puff and shuffle”!
What did the cigar say to its friend? “I’m burning with excitement to see you!”
Why don’t cigars ever play sports? They’re always too ash-y!
What did one cigar say to the other at the bar? “You light up my life!”
What do you call a cigar that’s always on time? Punctu-ash-ional!
What did one cigar say to the other? “I’m burning with excitement!”
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It had some “burning” issues it needed to work out!
Why don’t cigars make good comedians? Because their punchlines always go up in smoke!
How do you make a cigar laugh? Give it a lighter and watch it crack up!
Why did the cigar get fired from its job? It couldn’t handle the pressure!
Why did the cigar become a detective? It wanted to solve “smoke and mirrors” mysteries!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? You’re just not my type, you’re too small!
How did the cigar respond when asked if it wanted to quit smoking? “I’ll ash-ess that later!”
Why did the cigar need a lawyer? It got caught in a bad wrap!
Why did the cigar bring a parachute? In case it needed to “make a great escape” from the ashtray!
What do you call a cigar that’s always telling stories? A real smoke-and-mirrors kind of guy!
Why did the cigar start a business? It wanted to make a lot of ash!
Why was the cigar always in a hurry? It didn’t want to get ashed behind!
Why don’t cigars make good detectives? Because they always get caught in a smoke screen!
Why did the cigar go to the casino? It wanted to roll the dices!
Why did the cigar go on a diet? It wanted to cut back on the ash-tronomical calories.
What did the cigar say to the match? You’re the perfect match for me!
What do you call a cigar that can’t stop talking? A long-winded stogie.
What do you call a cigar that tells you the future? A puffesional fortune-teller!
What did the cigar say to its friend at the party? Let’s smoke up some fun!
Why did the cigar take up knitting? It needed to find a better way to wrap things up!
What did the cigar say to the pipe? “You sure are a smoking hot companion!”
What did the cigar say to its smoker? “I’m on a roll!”
Why did the cigar go to the comedy club? It wanted to get a good smoke!
Why was the cigar always late for meetings? It always needed a light!
What do you get if you cross a cigar with a snail? A slow-burning smoke!
How did the cigar greet the cigarette? “Long time no smoke!”
Why was the cigar always so calm? It knew how to keep its cool!
Why did the cigar go to school? Because it wanted to be a “straight A-ash” student!
Why did the cigar become a detective? It was an expert at burning out mysteries!
Why did the cigar go to the comedy club? It wanted to be a real stand-up smoker!
Why did the cigar take up gardening? It wanted to be surrounded by ash-ers!
What do you call a cigar that tells funny stories? A jokester-illo!
Why did the cigar take up gardening? It wanted to grow its own tobacco leaves!
Why did the cigar become an actor? It loved being in smokey performances!
Why did the cigar win an award? It had the perfect blend of humor and smoke!
Why did the cigar get in trouble at work? It couldn’t resist taking too many smoke “breaks”!
Why did the cigar get in trouble at the party? It couldn’t resist making some “smokin'” dance moves!
Why did the cigar get a job as a chef? It wanted to smoke up some new recipes!
How do cigars like to relax? They prefer to “butt” out!
What did one cigar say to the other at the party? “You’re smoking hot tonight!”
What do you call a cigar that sings opera? Luciano Puffarotti!

Short Cigar Jokes

Short cigar jokes are akin to a perfectly rolled Cuban—smooth, rich, and irresistibly amusing.

Ideal for text messages, social media captions, or as ice-breakers at a social gathering, these jokes are a surefire way to ignite a spark of joy.

The genius of short cigar jokes is their capacity to blend wit and humor in a compact package, delivering hearty laughter in just a few words.

So, sit back, light up, and get ready to puff out laughs.

Here are short cigar jokes that promise to fill the room with an aroma of laughter and good vibes.

Why did the cigar become a detective? It loved solving smoke-and-mirrors cases!
What do you call a cigar that’s always cold? A chilly stogie!
Why did the cigar take a nap? It needed some rest ash-sistance!
What do you call a cigar that works out? A fitness smoker!
What’s a cigar’s favorite holiday? Ash Wednesday!
How do cigars communicate? Through smoke signals!
Why don’t cigarettes like hanging out with cigars? They’re too smokin’ cool!
What do you call a cigar that writes poetry? A smokin’ wordsmith!
Why was the cigar always confident? It was filled with self-esteem!
How did the cigar propose to its significant other? With a smoke-ring!
What’s a cigar’s favorite superhero? Smoke-man!
Why don’t cigars ever get married? They’re committed to being single!
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of music? R&B (Rum and Baccarat)!
What’s a cigar’s favorite dessert? A puff pastry!
What do you call a cigar with no teeth? A gum stick!
How do cigars get their morning fix? They have a strong brew!
Why did the scarecrow start smoking cigars? He wanted some “cig-art”
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of transportation? A smoke screen!
Why did the cigar go on a vacation? It needed some “cigarelaxation”
What do you call a cigar-smoking dinosaur? A pterodactyl-light!
How do cigars send love letters? With lots of smoke signals!
Why did the cigar refuse to share? It was a selfish stick!
How do you make a cigar laugh? You tickle its ash-hole!
Why did the cigar take a day off? It needed to ash-ume!
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of weather? Smoke-y!
Why was the cigar always so well-dressed? It had a smoking jacket!
What’s a cigar’s favorite song? “Smoke on the Water”!
What do cigars use to stay in shape? Smoke and mirrors!
What do you call a cigar that can’t perform? A smoking cessation!
What’s a cigar’s favorite sport? Ash-ketball!
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of math? Alge-bra!
Why did the cigar get in trouble? It had a bad ash-itude!
Why did the scarecrow start smoking cigars? Because he was stuffed!

Cigar Jokes One-Liners

Cigar jokes one-liners are the perfect blend of smoky humor rolled into a neat, compact package.

They’re the verbal equivalent of puffing on a fine Cuban – refined, smooth, and brimming with character.

Crafting a good cigar one-liner calls for a mix of wit, brevity, and a keen sense of timing, much like the art of enjoying a quality cigar.

The challenge is to spark laughter with a setup and punchline packed neatly into a singular sentence, creating a burst of humor as impactful as the first exhale of a freshly lit stogie.

So let these cigar one-liners set your sense of humor aflame:

I decided to quit smoking cigars when I realized I was spending more time lighting them than actually smoking them.
What did the cigar say to the ashtray? Can I trust you to keep a lit secret?
Why did the cigar become a detective? It wanted to solve the case of the missing lighter!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You’re the butt of all my jokes!”
Why don’t cigars ever get lonely? Because they always have a little ash-keteer by their side!
What do you call a cigar that is always late? A slow-burner!
I tried to quit smoking cigars, but it was just too ash-tounding to give up!
I asked my doctor if smoking cigars is bad for my health. He said, “No, it just makes you look cool while dying.”
Why don’t cigars ever take vacations? They’re afraid of getting smoked out!
I tried to make a cigar laugh, but it just went up in smoke. Guess it’s not a fan of my jokes!
I told my wife that smoking cigars is my guilty pleasure. She said, “Well, it’s certainly an expensive one!”
Why did the cigar take a nap? It was burning the midnight oil all night.
What’s a cigar’s favorite exercise? Smoke-jumping!
I asked my cigar if it wanted to go out for a drink, but it said it was already lit enough.
My friend said cigars are like a box of chocolates. I guess he likes smoking “forrest gumps.”
Why did the cigar go to the party? It wanted to light up the room with its presence.
I used to think cigars were a symbol of sophistication, until I saw someone smoking one while wearing a onesie.
Why did the cigar take up knitting? It wanted to relax and unravel at the same time!
Why did the cigar refuse to share? It didn’t want anyone to ash-k for a piece!
What did the cigar say to the pack of cigarettes? “You’re all just a bunch of quitters!”
Why did the cigar need therapy? It had a burning desire for self-improvement!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You’re a little too short to smoke with me!”
I tried to quit smoking cigars, but it was a real drag.
I told my cigar a joke, but it didn’t laugh. I guess it was too smokin’ serious.
Why was the cigar always invited to parties? It always brought the fire!
I bought a fancy cigar cutter to look sophisticated, but I ended up using it to open stubborn chip bags instead.
I quit smoking cigars, but then I realized I was just blowing smoke.
What did the cigar say to the smoker? Don’t ash me that question!
I tried to impress a girl by blowing smoke rings with my cigar, but ended up just coughing like a confused dragon.
Why did the cigar take up boxing? It wanted to be a knock-out in the ring!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It needed to work through its ash issues.
I accidentally dropped my cigar in the river, but it managed to stay afloat thanks to its buoyancy.
My doctor told me cigars are bad for my health, so I switched to smoking bubblegum cigars – now I have fresh breath and look ridiculous doing it.
Why did the cigar refuse to talk to the cigarette? It didn’t want to get into a heated argument!
How did the cigar propose to its lover? It got down on one knee and asked, “Will you ash-cept this ring?”
I told my friends I was giving up cigars, and they all laughed and said, “Yeah, right, just like you gave up pizza.” They know me too well.
How do you know if a cigar is having a good day? It’s feeling smoking hot!
I never met a cigar I didn’t like, but I’ve met plenty that didn’t like me.
What did the cigar say to the smoker? “Don’t ash me for permission, just light me up!”
Why did the cigar get into a fight with the cigarette? It was tired of being seen as second-hand!
I accidentally walked into a cigar shop thinking it was a bakery. The smell was delicious, but the taste was terrible!
I asked my cigar if it wanted to smoke me for a change, but it just rolled its eyes.
I tried to convince my cigar to quit smoking, but it just blew smoke in my face and said, “I’m on fire.”
I wanted to start a band with my cigars, but they couldn’t hold a note.
I used to be a cigar aficionado, but I decided to quit cold turkey. Now I just smoke hotdogs.
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It needed to light up its life.
I told my cigar a funny joke, but it didn’t laugh. It just went up in smoke.
What do you call a cigar that plays the guitar? A smoke and strum musician!
I told my friend that smoking cigars is a “burning” issue, but he just laughed and lit another one.
Why did the cigar bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to be the high-light of the night!
My wife asked me why I keep smoking cigars. I said, “Honey, it’s my way of “lighting” up your life.”
I tried to teach my cigar some new tricks, but it just kept rolling its eyes at me.
I asked my cigar if it wanted to go to a party. It said, “No thanks, I’m already lit!”
Why did the cigar need a vacation? Because it was feeling burnt out!
Why did the cigar always win arguments? It was always smoking the competition!
What did one cigar say to the other in a poker game? I’m feeling quite lit tonight!
I tried smoking a cigar once, but it just left me feeling ash-amed.
I accidentally put a lit cigar in my pocket and now I have a smoking jacket for real.
Why was the cigar always getting into trouble? It had a bad ash-itude!
I tried to quit smoking cigars, but then I realized it was just a smokescreen for my problems.
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It was tired of feeling burned out all the time!
Why was the cigar always invited to parties? It had a great sense of ash-humor!
Why did the cigar cross the road? Because it wanted to get smoked!
Smoking a cigar is like trying to look cool while sucking on a wrinkly old man’s finger.
What did the cigar say to the smoker? I’m always here for you, I’ll never ash you away.
I asked my doctor if smoking cigars would shorten my life. He replied, “Not if you’re a slow smoker.”
Why did the cigar get a job at the bakery? Because it wanted to roll in the dough!
What did the cigar say to the lighter? “You ignite a spark in me, baby!”
Why did the cigar always win at poker? It had an unbeatable poker face.
I asked the cigar if it wanted to go for a walk, but it just puffed out smoke rings in response.
Why did the cigar invite everyone to its party? It wanted to have a smokin’ good time!
My cigar told me it wants to become a politician, but I think it’s just blowing smoke.
Why did the cigar refuse to share? It was a bit of a smoke hog!
I tried to quit smoking, but cigars just keep reeling me back in. They’re real smooth talkers.
What do you call a cigar that dances? A smoking hot mover and shaker!
My cigar told me a joke, but it went up in smoke before I could hear the punchline.
Why did the cigar go to the fancy restaurant? It wanted to pair itself with a fine “ash”-iet.
How did the cigar propose to its girlfriend? It got down on one “knee”-garette.
I tried to light a cigar once, but it said it was too “matcho” for me.
How do you make a cigar laugh? Just stick a little bit of tobacco up its wrapper!
I went to a cigar bar and asked for the finest Cuban. They handed me a sandwich.
I tried to quit smoking cigars, but it’s just too ash-tonishingly hard.
What did the cigar say to its friend at the poker game? “I bet you ashed to see my cards!”
What do you call a cigar that can play the guitar? A smoking-hot musician!
Why was the cigar late to the party? It got stuck in a smoking zone.
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It couldn’t handle all the ash-oles in its life.
Why did the cigar go to the gym? It wanted to get fit and “ash-tonishingly” strong.
I asked my cigar for some dating advice, and it said, “Just remember to light their fire!”
I went to a cigar shop and asked for a Cuban cigar, but they said they only had Jamaican cigars – they were pretty high, mon.
I accidentally swallowed a cigar once, but I blew a smoke ring and it came right back out.
I accidentally dropped my cigar on the ground, but it was okay because it had a good ash-surance policy.
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of music? Jazz, because it loves to “light up” the atmosphere.
I tried to impress my date by lighting my cigar with a flamethrower, but it just burned my eyebrows off instead.
Why did the cigar become a motivational speaker? It wanted to inspire others to “burn bright” and stay lit in life!
What did the cigar say when it won the lottery? “I’m on cloud nine…oh wait, that’s just smoke.”
My friend asked me if I wanted a cigar, but I declined. I’m just not ash-tute enough for that.
I asked my cigar if it wanted to join me for a dance, but it said it was already smokin’ hot enough.
Why did the cigar join the gym? It wanted to get in shape and become a smoking hot model.
Why did the cigar join a gym? It wanted to smoke its way to better health!
I accidentally dropped my cigar in the pool. Now I have a smoke-screening waterfall.
My friend told me smoking cigars makes you look cool, so I lit one and immediately tripped over my own ego.
My cigar told me a joke, but it was too smokin’ hot to handle. I burst into flames of laughter!
What did the cigar say to its best friend? You are the smoke to my fire!
Why did the cigar refuse to go hiking? It didn’t want to become a “smoke-signal” in the wilderness!
Why did the cigar break up with its partner? They were too smothered in ash-tronomy!
My friend said smoking a cigar is like burning money, but I think it’s more like “rolling in dough.”
I asked my cigar if it wanted to take a vacation, but it said it was already feeling pretty burned out.
Why did the cigar break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle their smoke and mirrors relationship.
I asked my doctor if cigars were bad for my health. He said, “Well, they’re definitely smoking hot.”
I found a box of cigars on my doorstep. I guess someone really wanted to give me a “smokin'” surprise.
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of music? Smooth jazz, of course!
Why did the cigar take up photography? It wanted to capture its best “smoke” moments.
Why did the cigar get a job as a detective? Because it had a knack for smoking out the truth!
Why did the cigar refuse to get a job? It didn’t want to be held down by a 9 to 5 ash-hole!
I tried to quit smoking cigars, but the temptation was just too “ash-tonishing”
Why did the cigar always get invited to parties? It was always the life of the ash.
I saw a cigar reading a book, but it turns out it was just smoking literature.
Smoking a cigar is like having a mini bonfire in your mouth, without the s’mores.
I asked the cigar if it had any burning desires, but it just went up in smoke.
I tried smoking a cigar once, but I couldn’t handle the ash-tronomy lesson.
What do you call a cigar that can do magic tricks? A smoke-and-mirror magician!
What did the cigar say to the matchstick? “You complete me!”
Why did the cigar break up with its partner? They were just too smokin’ hot to handle!
I asked my cigar if it wanted to go on a vacation. It said, “I’m already on cloud nine!”
I asked the cigar if it wanted to go on a date, but it said it was already smoking hot.
Why did the cigar invite all its friends to the party? It wanted to have a smoke-filled room!
I used to think smoking cigars was a bad habit, but now I realize it’s just a smoke screen for my awesomeness.
I asked my cigar if it wanted to take a break, but it just kept puffing and saying, “I’m smoking.” Rude!
What did the cigar say to the smoker? “You’re really lighting up my life!”
Why did the cigar refuse to share? Because it was too wrapped up in itself!

Cigar Dad Jokes

Cigar dad jokes are truly a smokin’ blend of humor and puns that will make you puff out a laugh while shaking your head.

They’re the kind of jokes that are so hilariously terrible, they’re absolutely fantastic.

These jokes are perfect for chilling out at a BBQ, having a laugh at a family gathering, or just to lighten up a conversation with some hearty humor.

Prepare for the chuckles and chokes.

Here are some cigar dad jokes that are bound to ignite a spark of laughter:

Why did the dad cigar give up smoking? Because it realized it was just burning money!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? Because it had too many “smoking issues”!
What do you call a cigar that’s always at the gym? A fit-stogie!
Why did the cigar get a promotion at work? It always knows how to light up the room!
Why did the scarecrow start smoking cigars? Because it heard they were a real puff-piece!
What do you call a dog that smokes cigars? A “puff” dog!
Why did the cigar go to school? It wanted to get a higher education in smokeology!
What do you call a cigar with a great sense of humor? A real pun-aficionado!
Why did the dad cigar bring a ladder to the party? Because he wanted to be a high roller!
Why did the cigar take up gardening? It wanted to grow into a fine smoke!
What do you call a group of cigars playing poker? A high-stakes smoke game!
Why did the cigar go to school? Because it wanted to get a little more ash-education!
Why do cigars always win at poker? Because they’re great at blowing smoke!
How do you know a cigar is telling a joke? It’s always smokin’!
How do cigars stay in shape? They always stick to their daily puff routine!
Why was the cigar invited to all the parties? Because it always knew how to light up the room!
Why did the cigar become a stand-up comedian? Because it had a great “punchline”!
What did the cigar say to its friend at the party? “I’m burning up in here!”
Why did the cigar join a gym? It wanted to “burn” some extra calories!
What did the cigar say to the humidor? “You’re the one who keeps me in good shape!”
Why did the cigar become a comedian? Because it had a knack for lighting up the room with laughter!
Why did the scarecrow always have a cigar in his hand? Because he wanted to be outstanding in his field!
What did the dad cigar say to its kids? “Remember, you must always stay lit and keep your cool!”
Why did the cigar start a band? Because it wanted to have a smoking good time!
Why don’t cigars ever get lost? Because they always ash-ertain their location.
What do you call a cigar that’s always telling jokes? A pun-gent cigar!
What do you call a group of cigars that perform together? A smoking band!
Why don’t cigars ever get into arguments? Because they always know how to “butt” out!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You really need to light up your life!”
Why was the cigar always giving advice? Because it was a real know-herf!
What do you call a cigar that tells tall tales? A fib-arette!
What did the cigar say to the pack of cigarettes? “I’m smokin’ hot, and you’re just a pack of squares!”
What do you get when you cross a cigar and a bicycle? A two-wheeled smoke machine!
Why don’t cigars ever take vacations? They’re always burnt out!
Why did the cigar go to the library? Because it wanted to check out some smokin’ hot books!
Why do cigars make terrible comedians? Because their punchlines are always too smoky!
Why did the cigar refuse to go on a date? It was afraid of getting burned!
Why did the cigar start a fight? It had a burning desire for conflict.
What do you call a cigar that’s a great listener? A “smoke-eared” friend!
What did the cigar say when it won the lottery? “I’m smokin’ rich now!”
Why did the cigar become a musician? Because it wanted to be a smoking-hot saxophonist!
How did the cigar propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring of smoke!
What do you call a cigar that likes to dance? A cha-cha-cha-r!
Why was the cigar always invited to parties? Because it had a “smokin’ personality”!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You’re too short for me to look up to you!”
Why did the cigar enroll in a dance class? It wanted to learn the cha-cha-cha-r!
Why did the cigar break up with its girlfriend? She was too “ashy” for its taste!
What did the cigar say to the match? I’m fired up to meet you!
How did the cigar become a rockstar? It had an amazing smoke show!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It needed to clear the ash out of its mind.
What did the cigar say to the smoker? “You’re really smokin’ it today!”
Why do cigars make terrible spies? Because they always get smoked out.
What did the cigar say to the match? “You complete me, let’s light up together!”
Why did the cigar need a bandage? Because it had a bad wrap!
What did the cigar say when it was asked to leave the party? “But I’m burning with excitement!”
Why did the cigar need a vacation? It was burning out from all the stress!
Why did the cigar take up painting? It wanted to create smokin’ hot masterpieces!
What do you call a cigar that’s afraid to light up? A combustible coward!
Why did the cigar go to school? Because it wanted to be a little smarter, just like its owner!
Why did the cigar win the lottery? Because it was on a roll!
Why did the cigar get a promotion at work? It was always blowing smoke, but in a good way!
What do you call a cigar that plays basketball? A smoke jumper!
What did the cigar say to the match? “You’re the only one who can light up my life!”
What did the dad cigar say to its friend who was acting tough? “Hey, don’t be such a hot ash!”
Why do cigars always have great posture? Because they never slouch when it comes to smoking!
Why did the cigar become a detective? It always knew how to “uncover” the truth!
Why did the cigar take up fishing? It wanted to reel in some relaxation.
Why did the cigar win an award? It was quite the puff-ormer!
Why did the cigar become a detective? Because it always loves to smoke out the truth!
How does a cigar make phone calls? It uses a “smoke” signal!
Why was the cigar sent to timeout? It had a bad ash-itude!
Why was the cigar always stressed out? It couldn’t “lighten up”!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You’re just a small fry, but I’m a smokin’ hot success story!”
Why do cigars always make great detectives? Because they are always able to smoke out the truth!
Why did the cigar start taking dance lessons? It wanted to learn how to ash the night away!
How do you make a cigar laugh? You give it a good ash-knock joke!
What do you call a cigar that can dance? A smokin’ hot cha-choke!
Why did the cigar get promoted? It knew how to ash-k for what it wanted!
Why did the cigar become an actor? It wanted to be a smoke-screen star!
What did the cigar say to its friend who was feeling down? “Don’t worry, everything will ash-cend eventually!”
Why do cigars always win at poker? They always have an ace up their sleeve!
What did the cigar say when it won the lottery? “Now I can have a “smokin'” good time!”
What did the dad cigar say to its baby cigar? “You’re smokin’ hot!”
What do cigars use to communicate? Smoke signals, of course!
How do you make a cigar laugh? Give it a little “puff” of air!
Why did the cigar get in trouble at work? It was always “puffing” off!
Why was the cigar always the life of the party? It had a great “draw”ing personality!
How did the cigar win the lottery? It had a lot of puff-luck!
What do you call a cigar that’s always in a hurry? A puff-fectionist!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette at the party? “Hey, let’s smoke this place up!”
What’s a cigar’s favorite dessert? Smoke-a-lot pudding!
Why did the cigar take up yoga? It wanted to be more flexible while enjoying a good smoke!
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, because it always has a good beat to smoke to!
Why did the cigar get kicked out of the party? It couldn’t stop making smoke-tail conversation!
How do you know a cigar is on vacation? It’s always lounging around!
Why did the cigar go on a diet? It wanted to be a “slim” smokin’ hot stick!
Why did the cigar refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to be involved in any high-stakes games!
Why did the cigar join a band? It wanted to be a part of the smoking hot music scene!
What did the dad cigar say to the baby cigar? “You’re just a little ash-hole!”
Why did the cigar become a teacher? Because it wanted to educate everyone on the art of smoking!
What do you call a group of cigars playing cards? A “full house”!
Why did the cigar become a detective? It had a knack for uncovering smoking guns.
What did the cigar say to the humidifier? “Thanks for making my life a little more steamy.”
Why did the cigar go on a diet? It wanted to quit puffing up so much.
Why don’t cigars like sharing their secrets? Because they always keep things under wraps!
Why did the cigar become a comedian? Because it always knows how to light up the crowd!
Why don’t cigars tell jokes? They always go up in smoke!
Why did the cigar refuse to join the gym? It didn’t want to get smoked by all those fitness enthusiasts!
Why don’t cigars ever go to the gym? Because they’re already smoking hot!
Why did the cigar have trouble finding a job? It kept getting smoked in interviews!
Why did the cigar take up yoga? It wanted to get more ash-tastic!
Why did the cigar join the gym? Because it wanted to stay in tip-top shape!
Why do cigars make terrible secret agents? Because they always get lit!
Why do cigars make great detectives? Because they always have a good ash story to tell!
How do cigars travel? They always go by puff-port!
Why did the cigar get a job at the bank? Because it wanted to earn some extra ash!

Cigar Jokes for Kids

Cigar jokes for kids are like the wacky props in a comedy show—unexpected, intriguing, and always a source of delight for the young audience.

These jokes inspire kids to engage with humor in a new way, sparking their creativity and igniting an appreciation for the witty surprises that language can offer.

Moreover, cigar jokes for kids transform an otherwise adult accessory into a tool for harmless fun, proving that humor can be found in the most unexpected places.

So, are you ready to light up their faces with smiles?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling over their chocolate cigars:

Why do cigars make terrible comedians? They always have a dry sense of humor.
How do cigars communicate? They “puff” out smoke signals!
Why do cigars never go on vacation? Because they’re always burning out!
What do you call a cigar with no clothes on? Stark-naked!
Why did the cigar take a vacation? To “light up” and relax on the beach!
Why did the scarecrow start smoking cigars? Because he wanted to be a real hot head!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? You’re such a “flash” in the pan!
Why did the cigar get a promotion at work? It always kept things lit!
What did the cigar say to the pencil? You’re just a little “lead” compared to me!
Why did the cigar refuse to go on vacation? It didn’t want to go up in smoke!
What’s a cigar’s favorite sport? “Cloud” surfing!
What did the cigar say to the hat? “You go on ahead, I’ll catch up. I need to smoke this out!”
What’s a cigar’s favorite board game? Connect Four, because it loves to connect with others!
What did the cigar say to its best friend? You’re my smoking buddy!
Why did the cigar bring a ladder to the party? To reach the high notes!
How did the cigar greet the other cigars? With a puff handshake, of course!
Why did the cigar take a vacation? It needed a little time to unwind.
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of weather? “Cloudy” with a chance of smoke!
Why was the cigar always happy? It had a great smoke life.
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of music? Reggae, because it’s always smokin’!
How do cigars like to travel? In a puff-of-air balloon!
Why was the cigar so good at math? It always knew how to count its puffs!
Why did the cigar go to the beach? It wanted to catch some waves and relax in the sun!
What do you call a dancing cigar? A “cigarette”!
Why did the cigar bring an umbrella? Because it heard it might be a little damp outside!
How do cigars make phone calls? They use a puff-line!
Why did the cigar join the circus? It wanted to be the greatest ring of smoke!
What do you call a scared cigar? A fraidycado!
Why did the cigar join a band? Because it wanted to be a smoke ‘n’ roll star!
What did the cigar say to the hat? You go on ahead, I’ll catch up later – I’m a slow burner!
Why did the cigar wear sunglasses? It didn’t want to be “smoke” and mirrors!
What do you call a fancy cigar? A high-class puff!
What did the cigar say to the pencil? “You’ve got the write stuff!”
Why did the scarecrow bring a cigar to the field? Because he wanted to be a smoke screen!
What do you call a cigar with a mustache? A sophisticated smoke!
What did the cigar say when it won a prize? “I’m on top of the “smoke”-ing world!”
Why did the cigar bring a pair of sunglasses to the party? Because it wanted to look cool!
Why did the cigar go to school? To get “smokin” good grades!
What did the cigar say to the birthday candle? “You light up my world!”
What did one cigar say to the other at a party? “Let’s smoke up the dance floor!”
What do you call a happy cigar? A puff of joy!
Why did the cigar go to the doctor? It had a burning sensation!
What did the grape say to the cigar? Nothing, grapes can’t talk, silly!
Why don’t cigars play baseball? Because they’re always smoking!
What do you call a cigar that’s a real brainiac? A smart-smoker!
Why did the cigar become a teacher? It wanted to impart wisdom and smoke signals.
How do you know when a cigar is happy? It’s smoking with joy!
What do you call a cigar with a funny hat? A “smoking” magician!
Why don’t cigars ever tell secrets? Because they’re always going up in smoke!
What do you get when you cross a cigar with a snowman? Frosty the Tobacco Man!
How do you make a cigar laugh? Light it up with a funny match!
Why did the cigar go to the spa? It wanted to relax in a smoke-steam room!
What do you call a cigar that doesn’t like to share? Selfish smoke!
What do you call a cigar with a lot of friends? Popular puff!
What did the cigar say when it won the race? I’m smoking fast!
Why did the cigar wear sunglasses? To look “cool” while smoking!
Why did the cigar take a break from smoking? It needed to “butt” out for a while!
What did the cigar say to the match? I’m smoking hot, let’s light it up!
Why did the cigar need a bandage? It had a little too much wrapper!
What do you get when you cross a cigar with a firecracker? A smoking explosion!
Why did the cigar go to the doctor? It was feeling a little “smoked” out!
What do you call a cigar that can sing? A “smoke” and mirrors vocalist!
What do you call a cigar that plays sports? A “puff”essional athlete!
What did the cigar say to the pencil? “You’re looking sharp, my friend!”
How does a cigar give a high-five? It ash-bumps its friend!
Why did the cigar get detention? It was caught smoking in the boys’ room.
Why don’t cigars ever tell secrets? Because they’re always too smokin’ to keep a secret!
What did the cigar say when it won a game? “I’m on a roll!”
Why did the cigar get a promotion? It always rises to the occasion!
Why did the cigar bring a map on its vacation? So it wouldn’t get lost in the smoke!
How do cigars get around? They roll!
What do you get when you cross a cigar with a computer? A smoke detector!
Why did the cigar take a nap? It needed a little smoke break!
Why was the cigar invited to all the parties? Because it was always puffing and passing the fun!
How do cigars greet each other? With a puff and a “smoke”e!
How do you know if a cigar is happy? It’s always “puffing” out smoke rings!
What do you get when you cross a cigar with a musician? A smokin’ hot jazz band!
What did the mom cigar say to her baby cigar? “You’re smoking hot, my little puff!”
What do you get if you cross a cigar with a potato? A smoking hot spud!
Why did the cigar go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling stogie!
Why did the bubblegum go to the cigar store? Because it wanted to be a big chewer!
Why did the cigar get in trouble at school? It was caught with a bad habit!
What do you call a cigar that loves to exercise? A “cig-arobic”!
Why did the cigar take a vacation? It needed to relax and have a smoke-cation!
How do cigars keep track of time? They use a smoke-alarm!
What did the cigar say to the bee? Buzz off, I’m smokin’ here!
What do you call a dancing cigar? A “huff” and puff dancer!
Why was the cigar so good at telling stories? Because it always had a smokin’ ending!
How do you make a cigar laugh? Tell it a really funny smoke!
What do you call a cigar that can do karate? A black-belt smoker!

Cigar Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t revel in a good cigar joke?

Cigar jokes for adults bring humor to an entirely new level, cleverly melding highbrow wit with a hint of playful irreverence.

Just like the perfect blend in a fine cigar, these jokes mix elements of sharp wit, sophistication, and a smoky hint of naughtiness for a hearty chuckle.

These jokes are the perfect ice-breakers for poker nights, gentlemen’s clubs, or even to lighten up a casual conversation among friends over a round of drinks.

Here are some cigar jokes that are tailor-made for adults:

Why did the cigar join the gym? It wanted to get in shape and be fit as smoke!
Why did the cigar get arrested? It was caught loitering outside the humidor!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It needed to quit blowing smoke!
What do you call a cigar that’s lost its spark? A burnt out comedian!
Why did the cigar bring a map to the party? It didn’t want to get burned by bad conversation!
Why did the cigar become a detective? Because it always had a good smoke screen!
What did the cigar say to its friend? Let’s stick together through thick and thin!
Why did the cigar become a lawyer? It wanted to smoke the competition in court!
Why did the cigar get in trouble at the library? It was caught smoking among the books!
What do you get when you cross a cigar with a politician? A lot of hot air!
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of music? Jazz, because it goes perfectly with a smooth smoke!
Why do cigars make terrible comedians? They always ashk for a light!
Why did the cigar break up with the pipe? It couldn’t handle the commitment – it needed some time to ash around!
What do you call a cigar that talks too much? A smoke show-off!
Why did the cigar take up yoga? It wanted to find its inner peace before it gets lit!
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of music? Smooth jazz, because it’s the perfect accompaniment to a relaxing smoke!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette at the party? “You’re a real “drag”!”
Why did the cigar refuse to join the circus? It didn’t want to be part of a sideshow!
How do you make a cigar laugh? Light its tip with a matchstick!
Why don’t cigars tell jokes? They’re afraid their punchlines will go up in smoke!
What did the cigar say to its friend who was always late? “You’re always ash late!”
Why did the cigar win an award? It had the best ash-tounding performance!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette during their argument? “You’re always such an ash-hole!”
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It had an unhealthy relationship with ash!
What did the cigar say to the smoker? “You’re smokin’ my world go round!”
Why did the cigar refuse to share its lighter? It didn’t want anyone to see its sparks fly!
What do you call a cigar with a mustache? A stogie with a dapper personality!
Why did the cigar always win at poker? It had a poker face and a burning desire to succeed!
What do you call a cigar that won’t share? A selfish puff!
What did the cigar say when it won the lottery? I’m going up in smoke, baby!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You’re just a smoke and mirrors, I’m the real deal!”
Why did the cigar become a detective? It was always good at “smoking” out clues!
Why did the cigar go to the party alone? It didn’t want anyone to think it was smoking up the place!
Why did the cigar cross the road? To get to the smoke shop on the other side!
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a smokin’ hot plot!
What did the cigar say to its smoking buddy? “You light up my life!”
Why did the cigar refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to be a secondhand smoker!
Why did the cigar break up with its partner? It felt they were too ash-amed to be seen together!
What do you call a cigar that’s on a diet? A slim and trim smoke!
What do you get when you cross a cigar and a snowman? Frostbite on your lips!
Why did the cigar go to the gym? It wanted to get in shape for its ash-tounding performance!
Why did the cigar break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the long ash commitment!
Why did the cigar get kicked out of the party? It was too smokin’ hot to handle!
What do you call a cigar that just won the lottery? A lucky strike!
What do you get when you cross a cigar and a snowstorm? A smoking frost!
Why did the cigar cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
Why did the cigar refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to be extinguished by all the hot air!
How do you make a cigar last longer? Don’t light it up!
Why did the cigar take a job as a comedian? It wanted to be a real “punch” line!
Why did the cigar get hired at the circus? It was a real smoke show!
Why did the cigar attend acting classes? It wanted to learn how to play a convincing role in smoke rings!
What do you call a cigar that’s been left out in the rain? A soggy stogie!
What do you call a cigar that’s been chewed up and spit out? A smokin’ hot mess!
What do you call a cigar that doesn’t make you cough? Suspicious!
Why did the cigar start taking yoga classes? It wanted to find inner peace and ash-ana!
Why did the cigar refuse to go on a blind date? It didn’t want to be matched with a “smoke screen”!
Why did the cigar get in trouble with the law? It was caught smoking in a non-smoking area!
Why did the cigar become a detective? It was tired of being smoked and wanted to solve some cases!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It wanted to quit smoking and find inner peace!
What do you call a cigar that becomes a superhero? The Smokescreen Avenger!
Why did the cigar get into a fight with the cigarette? It got ash-kicked!
What’s a cigar’s favorite weather? A “smoke”storm!
Why do cigars never get in trouble? They always stay in their own ashtray!
Why did the cigar become a detective? It was always looking for a good ash-ignment!
What do you call a cigar that’s always late? A slow-burning procrastinator!
What do you call a cigar that’s afraid of commitment? A commitment-phobe-acco!
Why did the cigar get kicked out of the party? It wasn’t smoking hot enough!
What do you call a cigar that’s always getting into trouble? A smoke bomb!
Why did the cigar break up with its partner? They just weren’t smoking hot together!
What do you call a cigar with no wrapper? Naked and ashamed!
What did the cigar say when it was asked about its favorite type of music? “I’m a big fan of rap!”
Why did the cigar join a gym? It wanted to get in shape for all the smoke rings!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It had an ash-identity crisis!
Why did the cigar become a politician? It was an expert at blowing smoke!
Why did the cigar go to the casino? It wanted to roll the dice and have a smokin’ good time!
What do you call a cigar that always tells the truth? A bluntly honest stogie!
Why don’t cigars ever get invited to parties? They always ash out too soon!
What do you call a cigar that can sing? A cigar-aoke performer!
Why was the cigar always the life of the party? It always brought the smokin’ good times!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “You need to ash-k me nicely before you join my club!”
Why did the cigar get a promotion? It was smoking hot in the office!
Why did the cigar go on vacation? It needed some time to relax and ash around!
Why did the cigar start a band? It wanted to be the lead smokin’ guitar player!
Why did the cigar break up with its significant other? They just couldn’t handle its smokin’ personality!
Why did the cigar break up with its partner? It found out they were just blowing smoke!
Why did the cigar bring a suitcase to the party? It wanted to pack a punch!
Why did the cigar go to the baseball game? It wanted to see if it could hit a home ash!
Why was the cigar feeling down? It couldn’t find its lighter half!
Why did the cigar refuse to get married? It didn’t want to commit to just one ashtray!
What do you call a cigar that tells terrible jokes? A smoke-and-mirrors comedian!
Why did the cigar attend a fancy party? It wanted to smoke in high society!
Why don’t cigars have any friends? Because they are always getting smoked!
How does a cigar greet its friends? “Hey, smoke you doing?”
Why did the cigar go to the art museum? It wanted to appreciate the fine ash-tistry!
What do you call a cigar that’s a great dancer? A smokin’ hot mover!
How do you know if a cigar is having a bad day? It’s a bit ashy!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It had a burning desire to quit smoking!
What’s a cigar’s favorite type of music? Jazz, because it’s smooth and smoky, just like them!
Why did the cigar start going to the gym? It wanted to become a smokestack!
Why did the cigar break up with its girlfriend? She said it was too smoky in their relationship!
What do you call a cigar with a broken tip? A sad ash-tray!
What do you call a cigar that doesn’t give any smoke? A “smarty-ash”!
Why did the cigar become a stand-up comedian? It had a knack for delivering punchlines!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? I’m the smoking hot one around here!
What do you call a cigar that gets lost? A “smoke and mirrors” illusion!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It had trouble letting go of its ash-troubles!
What do you call a cigar that wins a race? A smoke-screen champion!
What do you call a cigar that’s having a bad day? A fume-ancholy!
Why did the cigar get a job as a detective? It wanted to smoke out the truth!
What did the cigar say when it got a promotion? I’m on cloud nine, and the clouds are made of smoke!
What did the cigar say to the cigarette? “Quit puffing around, you’re such a drag!”
What do you call a cigar with no friends? A lone ashtray!
What did the cigar say to its smoking buddies? “Let’s stick together!”
What did the cigar say to its friend at the party? “I’m feeling lit tonight!”
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It needed help quitting its bad ash habits!
Why did the cigar refuse to pay taxes? It believed in puff, puff, pass on the responsibility!
Why did the cigar go broke? It couldn’t stop burning through its cash!
What’s a cigar’s favorite movie genre? Smoke and mirrors!
What did the cigar say to the lighter? Let’s burn some memories together!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It had an identity crisis – it couldn’t decide if it wanted to be smoked or chewed!
What did the cigar say to the match? Let’s spark up a friendship!
Why did the cigar go to therapy? It needed help dealing with all its burning issues!

Cigar Joke Generator

Struggling to light up the room with your humor?

(No, we’re not just blowing smoke.)

That’s when our FREE Cigar Joke Generator steps in to ignite laughter.

Engineered to roll out clever puns, smoky humor, and playful phrases, it generates jokes that are guaranteed to spark chuckles.

Don’t let your humor go up in smoke.

Use our joke generator to craft jokes that are as smooth and full-bodied as your favorite cigar.

FAQs About Cigar Jokes

Why are cigar jokes so popular?

Cigar jokes have a certain appeal due to the cultural significance and connotations attached to cigars.

They often revolve around themes of sophistication, celebration, or relaxation, making them amusing, relatable, and, at times, a little cheeky.

Can cigar jokes help in social situations?

Indeed!

Sharing a joke, especially one that’s subject-specific like a cigar joke, can be a fantastic ice-breaker or conversation-starter.

Whether you’re in a cigar lounge or at a celebration, a well-timed cigar joke can bring laughter and lighten the atmosphere.

How can I come up with my own cigar jokes?

Begin by understanding the characteristics of cigars – their shape, texture, the art of smoking them, etc.
Think about the unique vocabulary associated with cigars (e.g., stogie, humidor, puff). You might find pun opportunities or phrases that can be humorously tweaked.
Consider the setting of your joke. Is it a casual gathering, or a high-end cigar lounge? Adapt your humor accordingly.
Take a well-known quote or saying and modify it to include elements related to cigars.
Embrace the puns and wordplay. Cigar jokes provide a rich field for linguistic playfulness and puns!

Are there any tips for remembering cigar jokes?

Try to associate cigar jokes with specific situations where they may be useful – cigar parties, a casual smoke with friends, or even when discussing a famous cigar aficionado.

Linking jokes to these scenarios can make them easier to recall.

How can I make my cigar jokes better?

The secret lies in the unexpected.

Find a common connection with your audience, use the surprise element, and don’t shy away from playing with words.

The more you practice and share your jokes, the better they get, as you learn what evokes the heartiest laughs.

How does the Cigar Joke Generator work?

Our Cigar Joke Generator is a treasure trove of instant humor, producing chuckle-inducing jokes at your fingertips.

Just enter keywords related to your cigar-focused humor or situation, and press the Generate Jokes button.

Within seconds, you’ll have a pack of fresh, funny cigar jokes ready to be shared.

Is the Cigar Joke Generator free?

Absolutely, our Cigar Joke Generator is entirely free to use!

Generate as many jokes as you want and keep your content lively and engaging.

Feel free to fill your social media feeds with humor that is as rich and well-aged as a good cigar.

Conclusion

Cigar jokes are an enchanting way to add a touch of class to everyday conversations, making life a bit more enjoyable with each chuckle.

From the sharp and clever to the long and hysterical, there’s a cigar joke for every social gathering.

So next time you’re lighting up a cigar, remember, there’s humor to be found in every puff, ash, and leaf.

Keep fanning the flames of laughter, and let the good times smoke and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without cigars—unthinkable and, frankly, a bit less sophisticated.

Happy joking, everyone!

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