839 Artillery Jokes to Fire Up Your Humor

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to launch into the world of artillery jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the absolute blast.

That’s why we’ve cannoned together a list of the most hilarious artillery jokes.

From explosive puns to impactful one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every shell of a moment.

So, let’s fire into the booming center of artillery humor, one joke at a time.

Artillery Jokes

Artillery jokes pack a powerful punch, guaranteed to land with a boom of laughter.

These jokes are not just about the cannons, mortars, and howitzers but the culture and history surrounding them.

From their pivotal role in wars to their depiction in movies, artillery provides a broad canvas for humor.

Crafting the perfect artillery joke involves playing with military jargon, historical contexts, and the often surprising and complex nature of artillery units themselves (from their massive size to their precise accuracy).

Ready to explode with laughter?

Fire away with these artillery jokes:

• Why was the artillery always making mistakes? It had a “misfire” in its brain!
• What do you call an artillery unit that tells jokes? The laughing stock!
• What do you call an artillery shell that doesn’t explode? A dud-lightful surprise!
• Why did the artist refuse to paint artillery? He didn’t want to draw any heavy artillery fines!
• What do you call a mischievous artillery shell? A little cannonball-istic!
• Why did the artillery start a bakery? Because it wanted to make shell-tastic pastries!
• Why did the artillery officer become a comedian? Because he wanted to bring the house down with laughter, instead of just bombs!
• What did the artist say when he saw the artillery cannons? “Wow, those are some “blast-erpieces” of machinery!”
• What did the artillery say to the tank during their argument? “You don’t have the guts to shell out the truth!”
• What did the artillery say to the tank? “You’re really crushing it!”
• Why did the artillery shells go on strike? They wanted higher bang for their buck!
• Why did the artillery officer start a baking business? Because he wanted to make some bomb shells!
• What do you call a cannonball that’s too afraid to fight? A chicken shot.
• What do you call it when an artillery shell gets a hole? A blast from the past.
• Why did the artillery lieutenant start a bakery? Because he loved firing dough into the oven!
• What do you call an artillery with a broken arm? Unarmed and dangerous!
• Why don’t skeletons fight in artillery battles? They don’t have the guts!
• What did the artillery say to the tank? “You’re just a big softy, I’m the real heavy hitter!”
• Why did the artillery officer have trouble making friends? He always seemed a bit shellfish!
• Why was the artillery sergeant always so calm under pressure? Because he had a blast defusing situations!
• Why did the artillery go to art school? To learn how to make great booms!
• How do artillery shells express their emotions? They burst into tears!
• Why don’t artillery units ever make good comedians? Their timing is always off!
• Why did the artillery recruit join the circus? He heard they had amazing cannonballs!
• How do artillery cannons apologize? They shell-ebrate their mistakes.
• What do you call a group of artillery soldiers singing together? A blast choir.
• Why did the artillery officer bring an umbrella to the battlefield? In case it started raining shells!
• Why did the artillery plant flowers? Because it wanted to be a blast at the party!
• What did the painter say to the cannonball? “You really make an explosive impact!”
• Why did the artillery officer join the choir? He wanted to work on his pitch-perfect aim.
• Why did the cannon bring a ladder to the art gallery? Because it wanted to see the masterpieces up close!
• What do you call an artillery that loves to dance? A “blast” of rhythm!
• What did one artillery shell say to the other at a party? “Let’s make this place go boom!”
• Why did the cannon hire a lawyer? It was tired of being ‘fired’ without proper representation!
• Why did the artillery become an artist? It wanted to draw attention to its explosive personality!
• Why did the artillery soldier bring a pencil to the battle? In case he needed to draw some fire.
• What do you call a group of art-loving cannons? The “blast-erpiece” theater!
• How did the artillery prove it was a great artist? It always drew a lot of attention!
• Why was the cannon always late for work? It had a blast snoozing its alarm!
• Why did the artillery general become a painter? Because he wanted to make some “boom”ing art!
• Why did the artillery piece enroll in a painting class? It wanted to brush up on its accuracy!
• Why don’t artillery pieces make good comedians? Their jokes always fall flat!
• Why was the artillery officer always a hit at parties? He knew how to make an explosive entrance!
• Why did the artillery captain open an art gallery? He wanted to showcase his explosive talent.
• What do you call a funny artillery round? A shellarious joke!
• Why do artillery soldiers make good comedians? Because they always know how to deliver explosive punchlines!
• Why did the painter join the artillery unit? Because he wanted to brush up on his explosive skills!
• What did the artillery say to its target? “You’re really getting a bang out of this, aren’t you?”
• Why did the artillery officer go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to draw big booms!
• What’s an artillery piece’s favorite type of art? Blasts of creativity!
• Why did the artillery sergeant always carry a camera? He loved to capture the perfect shot!
• What do you call an artillery cannon with a broken leg? A tripod!
• Why don’t cannons like going to parties? Because they always end up being the center of attention!
• How do artillery cannons express their love? They shoot each other with affection!
• What do you call a nervous artillery piece? A firing pan-ic!
• Why don’t artillery cannons like to play cards? They always end up giving away their hand.
• Why did the artillery refuse to play cards? It thought it was too explosive!
• Why did the artillery shell take a nap? It wanted to reload!
• What do you call an artillery shell with a cold? A projectileile!
• Why did the artillery fall in love with the painter? Because it was drawn to their vibrant colors and explosive passion!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite game? Dodgeball – they always hit the target!
• Why did the artillery shell take up painting? It wanted to make a big splash!
• Why was the artillery so popular at parties? It always brought a bang to the celebration!
• Why did the artillery take up gardening? Because it wanted to launch seeds into the air like a true “plant”-illery!
• Why did the art critic visit the artillery range? He wanted to review some explosive artwork!
• Why did the artillery refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because it always gets caught in the crossfire!
• How do artillery shells stay fit? They do a lot of shell-fies!
• Why did the artillery unit go to art school? They wanted to brush up on their shooting skills!
• What did one artillery shell say to the other after a tough battle? “I’m really shell-shocked!”
• What did the artillery say to the target? “I’m aiming to please!”
• Why did the artillery shell go to therapy? It was feeling shell-shocked!
• What did the artillery say to the tank after a successful mission? “That was a shell of a good time!”
• Why was the art gallery evacuated when the artillery piece arrived? It was a blast of creativity!
• Why did the artillery sergeant become an art teacher? He wanted to help students draw a blast masterpiece.
• Why did the painter become an artillery officer? Because he wanted to add a little “fire” to his artwork!
• Why did the artillery officer become a gardener? Because he loved planting explosive ideas!
• What do you call a mischievous cannon? A firecracker with a big bang!
• Why did the artillery officer join a band? Because he had a blast playing the drums!
• What do you call a clumsy artillery gunner? A cannon-ballerina!
• What’s an artillery piece’s favorite dance move? The boombox!
• Why did the artillery break up with his girlfriend? Because he couldn’t find a spark between them.
• What did the artillery say when it hit the target? “Bullseye! I’m on target, and I’m bomb-tastic!”
• Why don’t cannons like to attend parties? Because they are afraid of getting lit!
• What’s an artillery piece’s favorite color? Boom!-blebee yellow!
• Why did the artillery officer bring a ladder to the battlefield? Because he wanted to take his artillery skills to new heights!
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to risk blowing the game away!
• Why was the artillery always the life of the party? Because it knew how to make a big bang entrance!
• Why did the artillery officer take up painting? Because he wanted to master the art of “boom” strokes!
• Why did the artillery piece make a great artist? It always knew how to draw attention.
• What do you call an artillery with a broken sense of humor? A misfiring cannon!
• What did the artillery gun say to the painter? “Let’s make a big splash together!”
• What did the paintbrush say to the artillery cannon? “You’re quite the boomer brush!”
• What do you call a cannonball that’s been through battle? A seasoned veteran!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite card game? Cannonasta!
• Why did the cannon bring a ladder to the art exhibition? It wanted to take a shot at modern art!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite type of music? Anything with a ‘boom’ing beat!
• Why did the artillery instructor give a thumbs up? Because his students were really on target!
• Why did the artillery enroll in cooking classes? It wanted to learn how to make a real bang for its buck!
• What did the artillery shell say to the tank? Watch me shell-ebrate!
• How do artillery cannons communicate? They use heavy artillery language!
• Why did the artillery refuse to play cards? It always had a full house!
• Why do artillery crews always work well together? Because they’re experts at ‘taking aim’ at teamwork!
• What did the artillery say when it couldn’t find its ammunition? “I’m feeling a bit shell-shocked!”
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to eat dinner? It was already stuffed with explosives!
• Why don’t artillery soldiers ever get lost? Because they always have a good sense of direction – they never miss their target.
• What’s an artillery’s favorite movie? “Boom! The Explosive Saga.”
• Why did the artillery colonel become a painter? Because he wanted to make a “boom” with his brushstrokes!
• What did the artist say to the artillery shell? “You really know how to make an impact!”
• Why did the artillery shell bring a map to the party? It didn’t want to miss the target!
• Why did the artillery enlist in the army? It heard they offered great ‘bomb’ benefits!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite exercise? Push-ups, because they really know how to shell out some punishment!
• How do you invite an artillery cannon to a party? You send it an “explosive” invitation!
• How do artillery pieces communicate? They use sign-bombs!
• What do you call an artillery shell that sings? A boom box!
• Why did the artist become an artillery officer? Because he wanted to paint the sky with explosions!
• Why did the artillery officer become a sculptor? Because he wanted to create explosive works of art!
• Why did the artist join the artillery unit? Because he wanted to paint the town red… and other various explosive colors!
• Why did the artillery fail at stand-up comedy? Its punchlines were always a bit too explosive!
• Why was the artillery always so clean? Because it always took a shower before firing, to make sure it had a blast!
• Why did the artillery refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to deal with any explosive situations!
• What do you call a painting done by an artillery unit? A masterpiece-ful of explosions!
• How do artillery cannons communicate? They shoot the breeze!
• What did the artillery say to the tank during their argument? “You may have armor, but I’ve got the ‘big boom’!”
• What did the artillery soldier say to his friend who wanted to quit? “Don’t be a quitter, let’s give it a shot!”
• Why don’t cannons like to attend art exhibits? Because they find them quite boring.
• What’s an artillery shell’s favorite art style? Boom-period!
• Why was the artillery piece always invited to parties? Because it was a blast!
• Why did the artilleryman join a band? Because he wanted to be a master of percussion!
• Why did the artillery officer become a painter? Because he wanted to create masterpieces with a blast of color!
• What do you call an artillery shell that’s feeling down? A “bombed” shell!
• Why did the artillery captain join the comedy club? Because he wanted to have a blast on stage!

 

Short Artillery Jokes

Short artillery jokes are like a well-aimed cannonball—strong, explosive and bound to make an impact.

These jokes are perfect for text messages, social media posts, or for those moments when you need to lighten up the mood with a quick burst of laughter.

The beauty of short artillery jokes is in their precision and punch, delivering giggles and chortles in just a few words.

So, prepare for a barrage of humor.

Here are short artillery jokes that are sure to hit their mark and induce booming laughter in no time.

• How did the artillery become a magician? It mastered the disappearing act!
• Why don’t artillery pieces play cards? They might start firing rounds!
• What do you call a cow with a cannon? A moo-sket!
• What’s the artillery’s favorite party game? Boom-or-Bust!
• Why did the artillery become a comedian? It loved delivering punchlines!
• Why do cannons make terrible comedians? Their jokes always fall flat!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite exercise? Shell-fitness!
• How does an artillery unit say goodbye? They shell-out!
• How does an artillery officer make decisions? By going with their gut-tery!
• Why did the artillery captain get a promotion? He had great aim!
• What do you call a funny artillery joke? A “blast” of humor!
• What do you call a musical artillery unit? The Boombox Brigade!
• Why did the artillery cannon get a promotion? It always aimed high!
• What do you call a cannon that sings? An artillery-oke!
• Why did the artillery join a gym? To get some serious firepower!
• Why do cannons always get invited to parties? They’re always a blast!
• Why did the artillery fail the math test? It couldn’t count accurately!
• Why did the artillery become an actor? It loved playing explosive roles!
• What do you call a mischievous shell? A little cannon-ball of fun!
• Why don’t melons get married? Because they can’t elope!
• How do artillery apologize? With a mortar-mouth!
• What do you call a careless artillery? A misfirecracker!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite song? Boom, Boom, Pow!
• Why did the artillery shell become a comedian? It had explosive humor!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite TV show? The Big Bang Theory!
• Why was the artillery officer always happy? Because they had a blast!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite board game? Battleship!
• Why do artillery units have great aim? They never miss a beat!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite snack? Cannoli!
• Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite type of pizza? One with extra “bomb-bastic” toppings!
• How do you greet a friendly artillery? “Cannon” you please meet me?
• What do you call a nervous artillery? A missile under pressure!
• How do artillery cannons stay in shape? They do pushups with bullets!
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
• What do you call a soldier with a weak aim? Artiller-wrist!
• How do artillery units communicate? With a lot of boom box!
• What did the artillery sergeant say to the tired cannonball? “You’re fired!”
• Why did the artillery shell join a band? It had a blast!
• Why did the artillery become a chef? It loved making shell-fish dishes!
• What do you call a cannon that’s sad? A “depressed artillery”!
• Why did the scarecrow join the artillery? To improve his aim!
• Why don’t artillery units eat at fancy restaurants? They prefer bomb-diners!
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
• Why did the scarecrow join the artillery? To shell the birds!
• What do you call a stylish artillery? A well-dressed cannon!
• What do you call an artillery unit on a diet? Light artillery!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite drink? A shot of espresso!
• Why did the artillery shell feel self-conscious? It had an explosive personality!
• Why did the artillery go to art school? For a bangin’ education!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite dessert? Bomb-a-lava cake!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite instrument? The cannon-oli!
• Why did the scarecrow join the artillery? He wanted to be shell-shocked!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite clothing brand? Target!
• Why did the artillery officer go to therapy? He had shell shock!
• Why did the artillery officer go broke? He lost his cannon-dollars!
• What do you get when you mix art and artillery? A blast-erpiece!
• Why don’t skeletons fight in artillery battles? They’ve got no guts!
• How do artillery soldiers stay in shape? They lift heavy artillery!
• Why was the artillery officer terrible at cooking? They always over-fired!
• What do you call an artillery that’s always on time? A cannon-drum!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite board game? “Operation” – they love precision targeting!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite fruit? A lemon, because it’s explosive!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite drink? Cannonade-ade!
• How do artillery soldiers greet each other? With a “cannon”ball!
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
• What do you call a pirate who loves artillery? A cannon-baller!

 

Artillery Jokes One-Liners

Artillery jokes one-liners are the epitome of humor compacted into a single, explosive sentence.

They’re the verbal equivalent of a well-aimed cannonball – precise, impactful, and leaving you in splits of laughter.

Creating a good artillery joke requires a mixture of wit, timing, and a deep understanding of the art of humor warfare.

The challenge lies in setting up the humor and delivering the punchline in a concise form, providing the biggest laugh with the fewest words.

Here’s to hoping these artillery one-liners hit the bullseye of your funny bone:

• What did the artillery say to the soldier? “I’m a cannon, can you handle me?”
• I was going to tell a joke about artillery, but it just didn’t have enough impact.
• Why did the artillery piece visit the art gallery? It wanted to appreciate some explosive artwork.
• What did the explosive say to the cannonball? “I find you very a-‘boom’-ing!”
• Why did the cannon go to therapy? It had too many “fire”arms!
• Why did the artilleryman join the comedy club? He wanted to improve his explosive punchlines!
• I asked the artillery officer for their favorite artist, they said “Banksky”
• Why was the artillery always late for meetings? Because it had trouble getting its gears in firing order!
• What do you call a group of artillery soldiers who love to play music? The Boombox Brigade!
• What did the artillery sergeant say to the new recruit? Welcome to the blast zone.
• Why did the artillery enlist in the army? It wanted to make a big bang in life.
• What’s an artillery shell’s favorite type of art? Can-non-vas!
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to play poker? It thought it might get ‘shell’fish!
• What do you call a group of cannons that sing together? A boom choir!
• Why did the artillery go to the comedy club? To work on its “bang-up” routine!
• Why did the artillery shell go on a diet? It wanted to watch its cali-bers!
• I asked the artillery officer if they ever get bored. They said they always find a blast to do.
• Why did the artillery cannon want to become a chef? It wanted to launch a new recipe.
• What do you call a nervous cannon? A ball of anxiety!
• Why did the artillery sergeant get promoted? He always knew how to make a “big bang” on the battlefield!
• Why did the artillery sergeant take an art class? Because he wanted to learn how to draw fire!
• My friend asked me to help him choose a new artillery gun. I told him to take his best shot.
• Why did the cannon feel left out at the party? Because it wasn’t invited to the fire-works!
• What did the artillery say to the painter? Give ’em shell!
• Why did the artillery shell become an artist? It wanted to explore the “art” of destruction.
• My friend is trying to become a famous artist, but all he can draw are artillery shells. He’s aiming high!
• What did the artilleryman say when asked why he carries a sketchbook everywhere? “I like to draw the line…of fire!”
• Why did the artillery captain take a painting class? He wanted to learn how to make explosive art!
• I asked the artillery officer how they relax. They said they just kick back and relax-ionize.
• The artillery unit had a falling out because they couldn’t agree on who should be the cannon conductor.
• I’ve started a new business selling artillery equipment. It’s booming!
• I joined the artillery, but they told me I had to leave my sense of humor at the door. They said it was too explosive.
• I asked my artillery instructor for some pointers, but he just gave me a roundabout answer.
• What do you get when you cross an artillery shell with a fireworks display? A blast of epic proportions!
• Why did the artillery soldier join a gym? He wanted to work on his “arm”ory!
• What do you call an artillery shell that’s trying to be funny? A com-bomb-dian!
• Why was the artillery always late to meetings? It had trouble getting into the firing line.
• I asked the artillery officer if he was a fan of classical music, and he said, “I’m more of a boom and bass kind of guy.”
• Why was the artillery so bad at painting? It always missed the canvas.
• What do you call an explosive artwork? A blast-erpiece.
• What did one artillery say to the other during target practice? “You hit the bullseye! You da bomb!”
• I asked my artillery instructor if he could give me a hand. He said, “Sure, just make sure it’s not a high explosive one!”
• Why did the artillery write poetry? It wanted to shoot words into the air!
• My friend said he wanted to join the artillery, but I told him to aim higher.
• Why did the artillery sergeant always win at poker? He had a lot of firepower!
• Why did the artillery piece become an artist? It wanted to paint the town red… and blue, and green!
• Why did the artillery officer become a comedian? He wanted to ‘bomb’ on stage!
• What do you call an artillery shell that’s been on a diet? A lightweight.
• Why did the artillery sergeant love her job? Because she got to make a big bang for her buck!
• I once joined an artillery competition, but the only thing I hit was rock bottom.
• What did the artillery shell say when it won an award? “I’m shell-ebrating!”
• Why did the artillery volunteer to be a comedian? Because it wanted to make everyone “shell out” with laughter!
• What do you call a nervous artillery shell? An anxious-cannon!
• Why did the artillery fail at stand-up comedy? It could never find the right punchline.
• What do you call an art lover who’s also an artillery expert? A ‘blast’ curator!
• Why did the art teacher join the artillery? They wanted to teach their students how to make a big impression!
• What do you call an artillery unit with a sense of humor? The Pun-itive Brigade!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite painting style? Boom-chiaroscuro.
• Why did the artichoke join the artillery? Because it wanted to be a “heartillery” soldier!
• Why did the artillery cannon go to therapy? It had some serious shot-term memory loss!
• What did the artillery say to the target? Bullseye or bust!
• I tried to give my friend a lesson on artillery, but he couldn’t grasp the concept. It just went in one ear and out the other.
• I was going to tell you a joke about artillery, but it would just go right over your head.
• My wife left me because I’m always making cannonball jokes. But I guess that’s how I roll.
• I’ve been trying to convince my boss to buy some new artillery. It’s an uphill battle.
• Why did the artillery recruit get fired? He couldn’t stop “shelling” out bad jokes!
• What do you call an artilleryman who loves to dance? A blast master!
• Why did the artillery commander get a promotion? Because he always gave a “shot” in the arm to his troops!
• Why did the artillery write a book? Because it had a blast telling its story!
• My friend asked me to help him move his artillery collection. Howitzers the time.
• Why did the artillery recruit become an artist? They had a knack for drawing out the enemy’s attention!
• I wanted to join the artillery, but I couldn’t handle the heavy bombardment of paperwork.
• What do you call an artillery unit made up of musicians? A boombox!
• What did the artilleryman say when asked if he ever gets bored? “No, I’m always ready to shell-ebrate!”
• What do you call a cannonball that tells jokes? A “pun-ning” projectile!
• Why did the painter become an artillery soldier? They wanted to paint the battlefield red… and blue… and yellow…
• Why did the artilleryman become a chef? He loved making things go boom in the kitchen!
• What do you call an explosive art gallery? A blast of art-illery.
• My artillery unit has a strict policy – no puns allowed, unless they really bomb.
• Why did the artillery teacher get fired? Their class kept going off target!
• Why did the artillery lieutenant join a yoga class? He wanted to learn how to be in the perfect artillery pose!
• Artillery officers have a blast at work.
• My friend asked me to join their artillery band, but I declined because I didn’t want to be a percussionist with a blast beat!
• Why did the artillery recruit become a comedian? Because he wanted to make everyone burst into laughter!
• What do you call a chicken operating a cannon? A boom-boom chicken.
• Why did the artillery teacher get in trouble? He couldn’t control his cannons!
• I told my boss I wanted to work in artillery. He said, “What’s your field of expertise?” I said, “Boom.”
• What do you get when you cross a cannon and a firework? An explosive performance!
• I asked the cannon if it wanted to go on a date, but it said it was already “barr-eloped” with its barrel!
• Why did the artillery join the circus? It wanted to be the big gun under the big top.
• Why did the cannon get a ticket for speeding? It was “firing” on all cylinders!
• What do you call an artist who uses cannons instead of brushes? A blastist!
• Why did the artillery gunner always have a clean uniform? Because he knew how to keep his cannons spotless!
• I used to be in artillery, but I got fired for not being explosive enough.
• Why did the artillery sergeant love baseball? Because he was a master of pitching!
• I asked my friend if he knew anything about artillery. He said, “Cannon.” I said, “That’s not what I meant.”
• What did the cannon say to the soldier? “I’m ‘shell-shocked’ by your aim!”
• I used to think artillery was just for shooting, but now I see it’s a real blast.
• What did the artillery shell say to the target? Don’t worry, I’ll make it quick.
• Why did the artillery officer go broke? Because he couldn’t keep his cannon in the black!
• I tried to make a joke about artillery, but it misfired and fell flat.
• Why do artillery officers make great comedians? They always deliver explosive punchlines.
• What did the artillery say to the tank during the art exhibition? “You can’t handle my explosive artwork!”
• What did the artillery say to the tank? You’re my shooting star.
• What do you call a cannonball with a broken heart? A heartillery shell.
• What did the artillery gunner say to his wife? “You’re the bomb, baby!”
• What’s an artist’s favorite type of artillery? A “canon” of creativity!
• What do you call an artillery unit that performs at comedy clubs? The Explosive Jokesters.
• My dad used to be in the artillery. He said it was a blast.
• Why did the artilleryman become an artist? He wanted to paint a colorful explosion!
• Why did the artillery general start a bakery? Because he loved to shell out doughnuts!
• I wanted to join the artillery, but I didn’t have the balls.
• What did the artillery say when it was feeling down? I’m feeling a bit shell-fish today!
• I’m a blast at parties, literally.
• Why did the artillery officer always carry a pencil and paper? So he could draw his own conclusions.
• Why did the artillery recruit become a baker? He wanted to launch dough projectiles in the kitchen.
• I saw an artillery shell at the art exhibition, but it was just a misfire.
• I told my friend that I’d never join the artillery, but I’m really just shooting blanks.
• What do you call a scared artillery shell? Shell-shocked.
• Why did the artillery become a musician? Because it wanted to join the “boom” band!
• I tried to become an artillery expert, but I just couldn’t handle the cannon-undrums!
• Why did the artillery officer become an artist? He wanted to explore the explosive side of creativity!
• Why was the artillery always invited to parties? It always knew how to break the ice.
• What do you call an artilleryman who always misses the target? A misfire-er!
• My friend said he had the worst aim with artillery, but I think he’s just taking a shot in the dark.
• Why did the artillery recruit become a chef? Because he loved to shell peas!
• What did the artillery gunner say to the target? “You’re in for a “blast”!”
• What’s an artillery’s favorite dance move? The boom-and-shake!
• Why was the artillery so bad at math? They could never figure out how to divide and conquer!
• Why did the artillery general start a garden? He wanted to see flowers bloom from his explosive expertise.
• I told the artillery captain that they had a knack for explosive art, they said “I’m just a big bang enthusiast!”
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to go to the party? Because it wanted to be a blast, not a bomb.
• Why did the artillery officer join the circus? He wanted to be a cannonball performer!
• What do you call a clumsy cannon? A real “blast-case”!
• Why did the artillery get a job at the bakery? It kneaded a change of pace!
• Why did the artillery crew throw their paintbrushes in the air? They wanted to create an explosive masterpiece.
• What do you call a paintball game with artillery? A colorful blast!
• I joined the artillery because I heard it was a blast!
• What do you call an artillery shell that’s really good at math? A smartillery shell.
• Why did the artillery piece go to the art gallery? It wanted to brush up on its shooting skills!
• What did the artillery say to the painter? “You’re really good at making a splash!”
• Why did the cannon bring a pencil to the art class? It wanted to draw some fire!
• How does an artist give their artwork a bang? They bring in the artillery!
• What do you call an artillery round that tells jokes? A real “blast” from the past!
• What did the artilleryman say when he saw his cannon malfunctioning? “Looks like I’m out of ammunition…mentally!”
• I told my artillery joke at a party, but it didn’t land well. It just went over everyone’s heads!
• Why did the artillery break up with its partner? They had too many explosive arguments.
• Why did the artillery captain start a band? Because he wanted to launch some explosive beats!
• Why did the artillery go to the art gallery? It wanted to scope out the explosive artwork.
• Why did the artillery sergeant become a comedian? He always had a blast making people laugh.
• Why did the artillery captain bring a ladder to the battlefield? In case he needed to “raise” some hell!
• What did the artillery say to the painter? “You’ve got quite the brush with danger.”
• Why did the cannon visit the therapist? It had a case of “shell-shock”!
• Why did the artillery sergeant become a stand-up comedian? He had a knack for delivering explosive punchlines!
• What do you call a depressed artillery shell? A shell of its former self!
• Why did the artillery artist always win? They had a blast with their paint cannons!
• What do you call a rabbit that loves cannons? A blast-hopper!
• Why did the artillery enlist in the army? It wanted to shell-abrate its freedom.
• Why did the artillery unit go to art school? Because they wanted to master the art of blowing things up.
• I asked my friend if he wanted to join the artillery, but he said he’s more of a big bang theory kind of guy.
• The artillery unit wanted to make a sculpture, but all they had were cannonballs. They ended up creating a “Ballistic masterpiece.”
• Why did the artillery officer get promoted? Because he knew how to shell out compliments.
• I tried to join the artillery, but they said I didn’t have enough “fire” in my personality.
• Why did the artillery captain always carry a ladder? In case he needed to reach new heights with his cannons!
• I joined an artillery club, but it was a total blast! Literally!
• Why did the artillery shell take up yoga? To find inner-peace and a better trajectory!
• Why did the art lover join the artillery? They wanted to be a master of the blast!

 

Artillery Dad Jokes

Artillery dad jokes are an explosive mix of humor and play on words that guarantee to fire up the laughter.

They’re the kind of jokes that will make you cringe and laugh all at once, leaving a memorable impact.

These jokes are perfect for military reunions, history buffs, or simply to lighten up the mood in a room.

Prepare for the big bang of dad jokes.

Here are some artillery dad jokes that will surely hit the target:

• Why did the artillery take up gardening? It wanted to learn how to shell plants!
• What do you call an artillery shell that can’t stop talking? A real blast at parties!
• Why don’t artillery guns ever go to the movies? Because they always shoot spoilers!
• Why did the artillery shells go on strike? They were tired of being fired all the time!
• What do you call a lazy artillery officer? A shell-outer!
• What did the artilleryman say to his friend who didn’t like explosions? “You’re missing out, it’s a blast!”
• What do you call a talented artillery gunner? A real sharpshooter with explosive skills!
• How do artillery units communicate with each other? They use “shell” phones!
• What do you call an artillery shell that’s been to the gym? A strong-arm bomb!
• Why did the artillery officer become a comedian? Because he always had a blast on stage.
• What did the artillery sergeant say when he won the art competition? “I guess you could say I really “nailed” it!”
• Why did the artilleryman become an artist? Because he wanted to master the art of destruction!
• What do you call an artillery piece that can tell jokes? A pun-der cannon!
• Why did the artillery piece go to the dentist? Because it had a cavity in its barrel!
• Why did the art gallery display an artillery shell? Because it was an explosive piece of art!
• What did the artillery say to his son when he was late for dinner? “Sorry, I had a blast at work!”
• What do you call a clumsy artillery? An accidental masterpiece!
• What did the artillery shell say to the tank? “You’re really armored, but I’m the bomb!”
• Why do artillery shells make good friends? Because they always stick together!
• Why did the artillery enroll in a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to shell-ebrate with a bangin’ meal!
• Why did the artillery unit become a comedian? Because they always knew how to land a good punchline!
• Why did the artillery unit start a vegetable garden? Because they wanted to grow some boom-chokes!
• Why did the artillery unit join a band? Because they wanted to bring some explosive beats!
• What do you call a painting by an artillery officer? A blast of creativity!
• What do you call a painting made with explosives? A blastpiece!
• What do you call a group of artilleries that perform in a theater? The Cannon-Can Ensemble!
• Why did the artist become an artillery soldier? Because he wanted to make an explosive impact on the art world!
• Why did the artillery soldier get promoted? Because he always knew how to shell-out!
• How does an artillery paint? By using its long-range brushstrokes!
• Why did the artillery commander join the art club? Because he wanted to explore a new type of firepower – paintball!
• Why did the artillery officer get a ticket at the art museum? Because he was caught “shelling” out too much money for souvenirs!
• Why don’t artillery shells ever get invited to parties? Because they always bring the boom!
• Why did the artillery become an artist? It loved creating explosions of color in the sky!
• Why did the artillery officer get promoted? Because he was always aiming for success!
• What did the artillery sergeant say to his troops? “Remember, it’s not just about the firepower, it’s about the artillergy!”
• Why was the artillery cannon always in a good mood? Because it had a blast every day!
• Why was the artillery shell afraid of heights? Because it didn’t want to go airborne!
• Why was the artillery shell always in a hurry? Because it wanted to make an impact quickly!
• What did the artillery shell say when it got promoted? “I’m on the rise!”
• Why did the artillery write a book? Because it had a lot of firepower!
• Why did the artillery shell get a ticket? Because it was caught speeding in the missile zone!
• What did the artillery say to the soldier? Let’s shell-ebrate together!
• Why did the artillery shell go to art school? Because it wanted to be a master of explosions!
• Why did the artillery officer go broke? Because he was always spending his money on cannonballs!
• What do you call a group of artists who specialize in artillery? The “Boom Squad”!
• How did the artillery feel after a long day of shooting? Bombed!
• Why did the cannon become an actor? Because it wanted to make a big bang on stage!
• Why did the artillery sergeant become an artist? Because he had a blast creating masterpieces!
• Why did the artillery become a teacher? Because it wanted to give lessons on how to shoot for the stars!
• Why did the artillery sergeant join a gym? Because he wanted to increase his firepower!
• Why did the artillery shells go to therapy? Because they had explosive personalities!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite type of artwork? Cannonvas!
• Why did the artillery join the gym? To work on its biceps and cannons!
• What did the artillerist say to the painter? “Let’s make some explosive art together!”
• Why did the artillery wear sunglasses? Because it didn’t want to be recognized!
• Why don’t cannons like to attend parties? Because they’re always bored.
• Why was the cannon always invited to parties? Because it was always boomin’.
• Why did the artillery piece join the gym? Because it wanted to build some serious “fire” power!
• Why did the artillery cannon get a ticket? Because it parked in the “no explosion” zone!
• What do you call a cannon that can sing? A “ball-ade” cannon.
• What did the artillery say to the painter? You sure know how to brush me off!
• Why did the artillery sergeant take up gardening? Because he loved to shell plants!
• Why did the artist join the artillery? Because he wanted to add some firepower to his paintings!
• What do you call it when artillery gets a promotion? A big bang for their career!
• Why did the artillery soldier become a chef? Because he wanted to serve up some explosive flavor!
• What did the artillery shell say to the tank? “I’m going to shell-ebrate when I hit my target!”
• Why was the artillery shell always invited to parties? Because it knew how to make a real “bang”!
• What did the artillery say to the art critic? Are my shots on target?
• Why did the artillery cannon take up gardening? It wanted to shoot flowers instead of bullets!
• What do you call a musician who plays the cannon? A blast beat drummer!
• Why don’t skeletons make good artillery soldiers? Because they have no guts!
• Why did the artillery piece bring a sketchbook to battle? Because it wanted to draw its enemies into submission!
• Why did the artillery join a band? It loved playing explosive beats!
• Why did the artillery unit win the art contest? Because their explosions were truly groundbreaking!
• Why did the artillery officer become a musician? Because he wanted to hit all the right notes!
• Why was the artillery so good at drawing? Because it had great aim!
• Why did the artillery captain join a choir? Because he loved to shell-abrate!
• Why did the scarecrow join the artillery? Because he wanted to be outstanding in his field.
• What do you call an artillery soldier who loves to gamble? A high-stakes shooter!
• Why did the artillery gun become a musician? Because it loved making bangin’ beats!
• Why did the artillery officer go broke? Because he couldn’t make enough cents!
• How did the artillery shell feel after its big performance? Shell-ebratory!
• Why did the artillery become a comedian? Because it wanted to launch a career in stand-up comedy!
• What do you call an artistic piece made by artillery? A masterpiece-blast!
• Why did the cannon go to therapy? Because it had a lot of shellf-doubt!
• What did the artillery officer say to his troops? “Fire up your cannons, it’s time to make some “boom” art!”
• Why do cannons make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always miss the mark.
• What do you call a cannon that doesn’t work properly? A mis-fire-able.
• What do you call an artist who specializes in drawing artillery? A cannon sketch artist!
• Why was the artillery soldier always calm and collected? Because he had a lot of artillery peace!
• What do you call a group of artillery soldiers playing cards? A bomb squad!
• Why did the artillery piece become a comedian? Because it wanted to make people burst out laughing!
• What do you call an explosive artist? A blast master!
• Why did the artillery go to school? Because it wanted to improve its aim.
• Why do artillery rounds make terrible stand-up comedians? Because their punchlines always miss the target!
• Why did the artillery go on a diet? Because it needed to shed some shell weight!
• Why did the scarecrow join the artillery unit? Because he wanted to shoot for the stars!
• Why did the artilleryman take up gardening? Because he wanted to plant some seeds of destruction!
• What did the artillery say to its son? “You’re the bomb, kid!”
• What do you call an artistic cannonball? A masterpiece shot!
• Why did the artillery shell go to school? To become an ‘explosive’ expert!
• Why did the artillery go on a diet? Because it wanted to shed some pounds and be light artillery!
• Why did the artillery shell enroll in art class? Because it wanted to learn how to make explosive paintings!
• Why did the artillerist become a comedian? Because he knew how to deliver explosive punchlines!
• What did one artillery shell say to the other? “I’m really fired up today!”
• How do you make a cannon laugh? You tickle its artillery!
• Why did the artillery cannon go to school? Because it wanted to get a little more bang for its buck!
• Why was the artillery always so calm? Because it had a lot of artillery-zen!
• Why did the artillery unit enjoy going to art museums? Because they appreciated the impact of a good explosion!
• Why did the cannon join a gym? Because it wanted to work on its arms.
• Why did the artillery officer become a comedian? Because he wanted to make explosive jokes!
• Why did the artillery enroll in an art class? It wanted to learn how to draw a perfect target.
• What did the cannon say to the soldier? I’ve got your back, now let’s make some noise.
• What do you call an artillery soldier who tells jokes? A pun-dit!
• Why did the artillery officer become an artist? Because he had a knack for drawing a blank!
• What did the artillery piece say when it got a promotion? “I’ve really shot up in rank!”
• What did the artillery shell say to the tank? “You’re just a shell of your former self!”
• How do you find a lost artillery shell? Just follow the smoke signals!
• Why did the artillery bring a ladder to the art gallery? Because it wanted to reach the highest caliber of art!
• Why are cannons terrible at painting? Because they always miss the canvas.
• Why did the artillery officer join the army band? Because he wanted to be a major in percussion!
• How do you know if an artillery joke is a hit? The laughter goes off with a bang!
• Why was the cannon always confident? Because it knew it had the firepower to back it up.
• Why did the artillery get a promotion? It always knew how to shell out a good performance!
• Why did the artillery officer bring a map to the movies? Because he wanted to see all the action!
• What did the dad artillery shell say to its kids? “You better shell-ebrate my jokes!”
• Why did the artillery attend a cooking class? Because it wanted to learn how to make a bangin’ soufflé!
• Why was the artillery cannon so good at math? Because it knew how to calculate the angle of “attack”!
• What do you call a mischievous artillery cannon? A rebel without a mortar!
• Why did the artillery unit go on a diet? Because it wanted to have a lighter payload!
• Why did the artillery unit go to the bakery? Because they wanted to get a taste of some dough!
• Why did the artillery cannon join a soccer team? Because it had a powerful kick!
• Why did the artillery gun start a garden? Because it wanted to shoot flower power everywhere!
• Why did the artillery go on a diet? Because it wanted to become a lean, mean shooting machine.
• What did the artillery officer say to the artist? “Let’s paint the town red… with explosions!”
• Why do artillery soldiers never feel lonely? Because they always have a blast!
• What did the artillery say to the painter? “I can make a bigger splash than you any day!”
• Why did the cannon refuse to join the art club? It didn’t want to be framed for a masterpiece!
• What did the artillery say to the tank? You’re a blast from the past!
• Why did the artillery recruit get in trouble during target practice? He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, but he did hit the farmer’s cow!
• What did the artillery unit say to the tank? “You’re heavy armor, but I’ve got the biggest bang!”
• Why did the artillery officer get a promotion? Because he knew how to keep things on target.
• Why are cannons never good at telling jokes? Because their delivery is always a blast!
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to play cards? Because it didn’t want to be a party pooper!
• Why did the artillery get a job at the bakery? Because it wanted to be a rolling-pin-firing cannon-dough!
• Why don’t cannons like to attend art exhibitions? Because they find the artwork too “explosive” for their taste!
• Why are cannons so good at making decisions? Because they always shoot straight.
• What do you call an artillery soldier who’s always late? A procrastinater!
• Why did the artillery soldier enroll in an art class? Because he wanted to learn how to make the perfect boomscape!
• What did the artillery say when it got a promotion? Now I’m at the top of my gun-game!
• Why did the artillery shell fail its math test? Because it couldn’t find the right angle!
• What do you call an artillery that’s afraid of heights? A ground-surface missile!
• Why did the cannon refuse to apologize? Because it couldn’t say sorry, it could only say “BOOM”!
• Why did the artillery join the circus? Because it wanted to be the big bang of the show!
• What do you call a cannon with a cold? A snotty shooter.
• Why do artillery units always bring a paintbrush to battle? So they can “color” the battlefield with their firepower!
• Why did the artillery cannon become a stand-up comedian? Because it was always launching jokes!
• Why did the artillery officer always carry a sketchbook? He liked to draw a plan of attack before firing!
• Why did the artillery gun become an actor? Because it wanted to be in the big booms!
• What did the artillery commander say to the soldiers during target practice? “Aim high, aim true, and make sure to bring the boom!”
• What do you call a lazy artilleryman? An under-achiever!
• Why did the artillery sergeant bring a paintbrush to the war zone? Because he wanted to add a splash of color to the explosions!
• Why did the artillery paint a self-portrait? It wanted to capture its explosive personality!

 

Artillery Jokes for Kids

Artillery jokes for kids are like the playful sparklers on a festive evening – bursting with energy, brightening up faces, and always landing a hit with the little ones.

These jokes promote kids to understand the lighter side of difficult concepts, encouraging curiosity and knowledge about historical warfare, in a fun and engaging way.

Moreover, artillery jokes for kids have the added advantage of making learning about history and warfare exciting, transforming that intimidating cannon in their textbook into a source of laughter.

Ready for some explosive fun?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them laughing like a barrel of monkeys:

• What do you call a piece of artwork made by a cannon? A masterpiece!
• Why did the artillery paint itself green? So it could blend in with the camouflage paintings!
• How does a cannon like its coffee? With a little artillery cream!
• Why did the artillery join the choir? It wanted to hit the high notes!
• Why did the cannon get in trouble at school? It was always making explosive artwork.
• What did the artillery say to the art teacher? Can I bring my cannons to class?
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
• What did the artist say when his artwork exploded? “It was a real “masterpiece” of artillery!”
• Why was the artillery always the class clown in art school? Because it loved to make “explosive” drawings!
• Why did the artillery shell go to the art museum? To see all the masterpieces… and maybe explode a few myths!
• What do you call a cannon that loves to dance? A ball-erina!
• How does the artillery like to communicate? Through shell phones!
• What do you get when you cross a cannon with a spider? A web of destruction!
• Why did the artist use a cannon to paint? Because it gave a real blast of color!
• What do you call an artist who specializes in drawing cannons? An artillerist!
• Why did the painter only use explosives in his artwork? Because he wanted to make an “artillery explosion”!
• Why did the paintbrush go to the military base? It wanted to join the art-illery!
• What did the artillery say to the artist? Can you draw me a big boom?
• What did the artillery say to the tank? “You’re so armored, but I’m the one with the big bang!”
• Why did the artist bring a cannon to the park? To “draw” some attention!
• What did the cannon say to the artist? I really like your “fire”work!
• Why did the artist always carry a ruler? To measure the “artillery” in his drawings!
• How do you make an artillery laugh? Tell it a “cannon” joke!
• Why did the artillery become an artist? Because it loved creating explosive masterpieces!
• What did the artillery say to the tank during their race? “You’re going down!”
• Why did the artillery join the band? Because it had great aim-musical talent!
• How did the artillery commander get promoted? They shot straight to the top!
• What do you call a cannon that goes missing? A cannon-ball!
• Why did the artist use a cannon instead of a brush? They wanted to make a big impression!
• What’s an artist’s favorite kind of ammunition? Paint-bullets!
• How does an artillery apologize? It says, “I’m really sorry, but I didn’t mean to blow up like that!”
• Why did the cannon refuse to paint a self-portrait? It didn’t want to “blast” its own image!
• Why don’t elephants use artillery? Because they have their own trunks!
• Why did the painter bring a water gun to their art class? They wanted to make some splashy artwork!
• Why don’t cannons like to tell jokes? Because they always bomb!
• How do you make an artillery laugh? Just tickle its cannonballs!
• Why did the artillery bring a paintbrush to battle? It wanted to make sure it had “artillery” supplies!
• What do you call an artist with a cannon? A blast-ist!
• Why did the artichoke go to the art museum? Because it heard they had some great artillery pieces!
• What did the artillery say to the soldier? Aim high and keep your sights on target!
• Why was the cannon good at solving math problems? It knew how to multiply and divide.
• Why was the artillery disappointed with its self-portrait? It said, “I’m just not explosive enough!”
• How does an artillery show its love? With lots of ammunition!
• Why did the artillery take an art class? It wanted to learn how to “fire” up its creativity!
• Why did the artillery join the art club? It wanted to make “explosive” masterpieces!
• Why did the tomato turn red during the artillery lesson? Because it saw the salad dressing!
• Why was the cannon cold? Because it was left out in the artillery!
• Why did the cannon go to school? To improve its shooting grades.
• How does an artillery stay in shape? It does “bomb” squats and “rocket” jumps!
• What did the cannon say to the balloon? “You’re really blowing up!”
• Why did the cannon go to school? Because it wanted to become a straight shooter!
• Why do cannons never get married? Because they’re always firing blanks!
• What do you call a funny piece of artillery? A “cannon”ball comedian!
• Why did the cannon always carry a pencil and paper? Because it loved drawing battle plans!
• Why did the artillery bring a paintbrush to the battlefield? It wanted to make some explosive art!
• Why did the artist bring a cannon to the art gallery? To add some firepower to the exhibits!
• What did the artillery say to the painter? You have some great brush strokes, but I have some explosive firepower!
• What kind of math do cannons do? Cannonometry!
• Why did the cannon get in trouble at school? It refused to follow artillery class!
• Why did the scarecrow join the artillery? Because he heard it was a blast!
• What did the artist say to the artillery shell? “You’re a real “blast” in the art world!”
• What do you call a happy piece of artillery? A missile-toe!
• Why was the artillery always bored? Because it had no ammunition to fire!
• How do you make a happy artillery? Give it a “big bang” of a surprise!
• What did the cannon say to the other cannon after a battle? “You really rocked it!”
• Why did the artist join the artillery? Because they wanted to paint the battlefield with colors of fireworks!
• What do you call an artistic piece of artillery? A “blast” of inspiration!
• What do you call a painting by a clumsy artillery? A misfire masterpiece!
• What did one cannon say to the other? “I find artillery quite fascinating!”
• What do cannons eat for breakfast? Gun powder puffs.
• What do you call a cannonball that’s afraid of heights? A scaredy shot!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite dessert? Boom-meringue pie!
• Why did the art teacher need a cannon in the classroom? To create some “blast-erpieces”!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite type of music? “Boom” bap hip-hop!
• Why did the artillery bring a ladder to the art gallery? It wanted to see the master-pieces from a different angle!
• What did the pencil say to the paintbrush? “Let’s make some “artillery” together!”
• What is a cannon’s favorite type of painting? “Blast”-erpieces!
• What do you call an artwork made by an artillery? A “masterpiece” with a bang!
• What kind of art do soldiers create? Art-illery!
• Why was the artillery good at drawing circles? Because it had a blast radius!
• What did one cannon say to the other? I’m just trying to make a bang in the art world.
• How do artillery communicate? Through heavy artillery fire!
• Why did the artillery shell take up sculpting? Because it wanted to make a big bang in the art world!
• What did the artillery say to the easel? I’ll make you canvas-shake!
• What did the artillery say to the artist? “You better brush up on your aim!”
• What did the artillery say to the artist? You really know how to draw a crowd!
• What did the artillery say to the paint palette? Let’s create a colorful explosion!
• Why did the artillery weapon bring a ladder to the art gallery? It wanted to take aim at the masterpiece on the highest wall!
• Why did the artillery take up painting? It wanted to explore its artistic side and create some boom-tiful masterpieces!
• Why did the artist bring a ladder to their art show? Because they wanted to reach new heights!
• Why did the paintbrush join the army? To be part of the art-illery!
• What did the paintbrush say to the artillery shell? “You have a real “blast” of color!”
• Why did the artillery invite the artist to its party? Because it wanted to have a “blast”!
• Why did the artist use a cannon instead of a paintbrush? Because it created a “bang”-tastic effect!
• What do you call a super fast cannonball? A speed projectile!
• What did the cannon say to the paintbrush? “You may be art, but I’m artillery!”
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
• What do you call a droid that takes up painting? R2-Artillery!
• What do you get when you cross a cannon and a snowman? Frostbite artillery!
• Why did the artillery bring a ladder to the art gallery? To get a better view of the paintings!
• What did the artist say to the cannon? I’m “drawn” to your explosive personality!
• Why did the painter bring a cannon to the art exhibition? Because they wanted to make a big “bang” with their artwork!
• What did the artillery say to the paintbrush? You make me “burst” with color!
• What do you call a piece of artillery that can sing? A “canon”!
• Why did the pencil want to join the artillery? It wanted to be a sharpshooter!
• Why did the artist bring a fire extinguisher to their studio? They were working on some hot artwork!
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
• How do cannons communicate? Through art-illery signals.
• What’s a cannon’s favorite exercise? Cannon-balling!
• What did the artillery say to the sculpture? You’re really shaping up!
• What did the cannon say when it got promoted? “I’m really going places!”
• What did the sergeant say to the cannonball? You’re really good at rolling with the punches!
• What do you call a cannon that loves to read? An artillery bookworm!
• Why was the artillery so good at drawing? It had a keen eye for detail!
• What do you call a group of funny artillery soldiers? The laughing stockade!
• Why did the artist become an artillery soldier? They wanted to draw with firepower!
• What do you call an artillery that’s always tired? A snooze cannon!
• Why did the artillery become an architect? It wanted to design explosive buildings!
• What did one artillery shell say to the other? “You’re really shell-arious!”
• What’s an artillery’s favorite type of painting? A “blast” of abstract art!
• Why did the cannon join the school band? Because it wanted to make some boom-tastic music!
• How does an artillery make art? By using a boom brush!
• Why did the cannon become a photographer? It wanted to capture explosive moments.
• How do cannons communicate? They use artillery-phones!
• Why do cannons make terrible comedians? Their punchlines are always explosive!
• Why did the painter use a cannon instead of a brush? Because he wanted to create “explosive” art!
• Why was the cannon always getting into trouble? Because it had a blast radius!
• What do you call an artillery with a funny personality? A blast to be around!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite color? Boom-green!
• Why did the cannon become an artist? Because it wanted to shoot for the stars!
• Why did the artillery get in trouble at school? Because it was always shooting off its mouth!
• What kind of art does an artillery like to create? Cannonvas paintings!
• What did the artillery say to the misbehaving soldier? “You better “shell” out some respect!”
• Why was the cannon so good at art? Because it knew how to draw a bang!
• What did one cannon say to the other cannon? “I’m really gunning for a laugh!”
• Why did the pencil go to artillery school? It wanted to be a sharp shooter!
• Why did the cannon lose at the art contest? It couldn’t draw a bead on the competition!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite food? Missile-toe!
• What do you call a cannon with a sunburn? Red hot artillery!
• What do you call an artillery that can’t stop giggling? A “cannon-bell”!
• Why did the artillery go to art school? Because it wanted to learn how to draw a perfect “boom”!
• What did the artillery say to the paintbrush? You’re my boomsday device!
• Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many artillery problems!
• What do you get when you cross a painter and a scientist? Explosive art experiments!
• How do artillery soldiers make art? With a bang and a boom!
• Why did the artillery get a job as a painter? Because it loved “blasting” colors onto the canvas!
• What do you get when you mix an artist and an artillery? A painter with a bang!
• Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the artillery? Because it saw the big bang coming!

 

Artillery Jokes for Adults

Who says that adults can’t appreciate a well-aimed artillery joke?

Artillery jokes for adults push the boundaries, fusing a refined sense of humor with a hint of boldness.

Just like an accurately aimed cannon, these jokes strike a balance between wit, sarcasm, and a splash of audacity, resulting in an unforgettable burst of laughter.

These jokes are perfect for military reunions, history buffs gatherings, or simply to break the ice in a serious conversation among friends.

Prepare for a comedic bombardment with these artillery jokes designed for adults:

• Why was the artillery banned from the art gallery? It kept making explosive exhibits!
• Why did the artillery officer break up with his girlfriend? She had too many cannons!
• Why did the artillery unit become a chef? It loved firing up the grill and launching BBQ shells!
• What’s an artillery cannon’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, of course!
• Why did the artillery join the gym? It wanted to work on its cannonball skills!
• Why did the artillery commander become an artist? He wanted to paint the town red… quite literally!
• What did the artillery officer say when he won the lottery? “I’m going to buy a cannon and make it rain shells!”
• Why did the artillery officer get promoted? Because he always aimed high!
• Why was the artillery unit always late for work? They had trouble getting their guns to fire on time!
• What do you call a nervous soldier in artillery? A worried mortar!
• Why did the artillery become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to fire off some great punchlines!
• Why did the artillery recruit become an artist? He wanted to learn how to draw his enemies into battle!
• Why did the artillery sergeant get promoted? Because he always had a “blast” on the battlefield!
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to go to parties? It didn’t want to burst anyone’s bubble!
• Why did the artillery officer go to art school? He wanted to learn how to make his shots more impactful!
• Why did the artillery captain become a stand-up comedian? He had a blast telling jokes!
• Why was the artillery gun unhappy with its job? It felt like it was always being fired upon!
• Why did the artillery cannon join a band? It wanted to be the drum with the loudest bang!
• Why do artillery soldiers make good chefs? They know how to shell out some explosive flavors!
• Why did the artillery cannon refuse to go on a date? It didn’t want to get bombarded with relationship drama!
• Why did the artillery officer always carry a dictionary? So he could understand all the artillery terms, from bang to boom!
• Why did the artillery major become a stand-up comedian? He always knew how to “shell” out the jokes!
• What did the artillery soldier say to their friend who asked for dating advice? “Sometimes you just need to aim high and take the shot!”
• Why do artillery units always have a high morale? Because they never miss a beat!
• What did the artillery sergeant say when asked about their favorite type of music? “I’m a big fan of heavy metal!”
• What do you call a super-fast artillery piece? A speed cannonball!
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to make a big bang!
• Why did the cannon go to school? It wanted to get a higher “education”!
• Why did the artillery soldier become a comedian? He wanted to “shell” out some laughter!
• Why do artillery soldiers make great comedians? Because they always have a blast!
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to join the art exhibition? It didn’t want to be framed!
• Why did the artillery unit get into an argument with the artist? They couldn’t agree on the best way to make an explosive masterpiece!
• Why did the artillery soldier start a blog? He wanted to share his explosive thoughts!
• What do you get when you cross an artist with an artillery soldier? A masterpiece that can blow you away!
• Why did the artist get in trouble at the artillery range? He drew the wrong kind of fire!
• What do you call a lazy artillery soldier? A “missile” slacker!
• What’s an artillery unit’s favorite type of dessert? Bomb-alaska!
• What do you call a group of artillery soldiers on a coffee break? A firing latte!
• Why did the artillery lieutenant become an artist? Because he wanted to make a “big bang” in the art world!
• Why did the scarecrow become an artillery officer? Because it wanted to be a “bang” guard!
• Why did the artillery captain go to the art museum? Because he wanted to learn some explosive new techniques!
• Why did the artillery cannon get invited to all the parties? It always knew how to make a bang entrance!
• What did the artillery shell say to the tank? “I’ve got you covered!” .
• Why was the artilleryman’s artwork so popular? It always made a big impact!
• Why don’t artillery units ever join the circus? They can’t handle the big top!
• Why did the artillery cannon go to therapy? It had issues with its shell-esteem!
• What did the artillery piece say when it graduated from training? “I’m ready to shell-ebrate my success!”
• Why did the artillery officer enroll in painting classes? They wanted to brush up on their skills!
• What do you call a cannon that’s gone bad? A loose cannon!
• Why did the artillery book a spa day? It wanted to relax and shell out some stress!
• Why did the artillery officer break up with his girlfriend? She kept giving him the silent treatment!
• What do you call an artist who uses artillery shells as paintbrushes? A blastist!
• Why did the artillery shell join the gym? It wanted to get explosive gains!
• What did the artillery sergeant say to motivate the troops? “Let’s aim high and make some noise!”
• Why did the artillery have a hard time getting a date? It couldn’t find any match!
• Why don’t artillery units ever get promoted? They always go over their targets!
• What do you call a polite cannon? A gentle-munition!
• Why did the cannon paint itself with camouflage? It wanted to blend in with the artillery!
• Why did the artillery shell become an artist? It wanted to create some stunning explosions of color!
• Why did the artillery unit perform so well on their test? Because they had excellent aim-munition!
• Why did the artillery teacher always carry a ruler? To measure the caliber of the cannons!
• What do you get when you cross a cannon with a comedian? A barrel of laughs!
• Why did the painter join the artillery? He wanted to add some explosive colors to his palette!
• Why did the artillery captain become a chef? Because he loved the taste of victory!
• Why did the artillery want to become an artist? It wanted to make some explosive paintings!
• Why did the artillery shell go to therapy? It had some serious issues with explosion control!
• Why did the artillery shell refuse to listen to music? It didn’t want to be shell-shocked!
• What do you call a painting created by a cannon? A masterpiece-blast!
• Why did the artillery unit start a gardening club? They loved planting seeds and watching things go boom!
• Why did the artillery recruit join the circus? He wanted to learn how to juggle bombs!
• Why did the artillery battalion start a bakery? They wanted to bring some real firepower to the doughnut industry!
• How do artillery soldiers solve their problems? With a bang!
• What do you call a squirrel that operates artillery? A “bombardier”!
• Why did the scarecrow join the artillery? Because he heard they were experts at blowing things up!
• Why did the artillery join a yoga class? It wanted to learn how to be more grounded!
• Why was the artillery so good at multitasking? It could “shell” out destruction while staying on target!
• Why did the artillery captain bring a ladder to the battlefield? To reach the high explosives!
• Why did the artillery sergeant always carry a paintbrush? He wanted to leave a colorful impact on the battlefield!
• What did the artillery say to the soldier who couldn’t aim properly? You need to take a shot in the right direction!
• What do you call a group of artillery officers on vacation? The “bombastic” travel squad!
• What do you call a soldier who survived an explosion? Artillery-tough!
• Why did the artillery sergeant get a ticket? He parked his tank in a “no stopping” zone!
• Why did the artillery unit throw a party? They wanted to celebrate their explosive personalities!
• Why did the artillery crew always bring a ladder? Because they wanted to aim high!
• What do you get when you cross an artillery unit with a comedian? A hilarious bombardment!
• Why did the artillery unit start a band? They wanted to rock the battlefield with their explosive music!
• Why did the artillery piece refuse to join the art club? It didn’t want to be labeled as “cannon fodder”!
• Why did the artillery recruit join the army? He wanted to be on the frontline of fire and puns!
• Why did the cannon break up with its girlfriend? She was too “explosive” for him!
• Why did the artillery battery go to therapy? They had issues with their triggers!
• What do you call a group of art-loving artillery soldiers? The explosive artists!
• Why did the artillery join a gym? It wanted to exercise its right to bear arms!
• What’s an artillery’s favorite type of dessert? “Cannon-berry” pie!
• What do you call a romantic artillery? A love bomb!
• What do you call an artillery piece that won an art contest? A master of the boom!
• How do artillery units communicate? They use Morse boom code!
• Why did the artillery officer join a theater group? He wanted to be a cannon actor!
• What did the artillery shell say to the tank? “I’m shell-shocked by your firepower!”
• Why did the artillery unit get kicked out of the comedy club? Because their jokes were too “shell-shocking”!
• Why did the artillery officer bring a paintbrush to battle? Because he wanted to leave his mark on the enemy!
• Why did the artillery crew bring a sketchbook to the battlefield? They wanted to draw out their battle plans!
• What did the artillery say to the tank? Let’s “shoot the breeze” together!
• What do you call an artillery shell that’s always late? A procrastibomb!
• Why did the artillery join a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to make some killer shells!
• Why did the artillery soldier become a chef? He loved “launching” culinary experiments!
• Why did the artillery officer always carry a tape measure? They needed to be on target down to the inch!
• What do you call an artillery unit that tells jokes? A blast of laughter!
• What did the artillery shell say to the tank? “You’re looking shell-acious today!”
• What do you call a nervous artillery cannon? A shaky blaster!
• Why did the artillery captain refuse to go on vacation? He didn’t want to miss out on all the bang for his buck!
• What did the artillery commander say to his troops before battle? “Let’s make some noise!”
• Why did the artillery recruit bring a pillow to the training camp? He wanted to learn how to sleep through all the explosions!
• What did the artillery say to the tank? “I’ve got your back, buddy!”
• Why did the artillery captain start a band? He wanted to shoot for the stars and hit the high notes!
• Why did the artillery shell get a promotion? It was always on target and never missed a beat!
• Why don’t cannons like to go to parties? They always make a big bang!
• Why was the artillery officer always calm? Because he knew how to keep his cool under fire!
• Why did the cannon join a band? It wanted to be the “boom” in the music!
• What did the artillery sergeant say to his soldiers? “Keep your cannons close and your enemies closer!”
• Why did the artillery shell join a band? It wanted to be a part of an explosive musical experience!
• What did the artillery sergeant say when he found a misplaced shell? “Well, that’s an explosive discovery!”
• Why did the artillery unit have a bad performance? They couldn’t hit the right notes!
• What do you call a clumsy artillery operator? A cannon blunder!
• Why did the artillery shell go to therapy? Because it had shell shock from all the explosions!
• What did the artillery officer say when asked if they enjoyed their job? It has its ups and downs, but it’s a blast!
• Why did the artillery soldier go to therapy? Because he couldn’t handle his “explosive” emotions!
• Why was the artillery piece always the life of the party? Because it could really bring the fireworks!
• What did the artillery say when it couldn’t find its cannonballs? “I’ve lost my marbles!”
• Why do artillery units make terrible comedians? They always miss the punchline!
• Why did the artillery officer take up gardening? He wanted to grow some explosive plants!
• Why did the artillery battery go to therapy? They had a lot of unresolved issues!
• Why did the artillery captain open a bakery? He wanted to make some killer dough!
• Why did the artillery join a band? It wanted to be known for its explosive drum solos!
• Why did the artillery unit throw a party? They wanted to have a blast together!
• Why did the artillery crew throw a party after successfully hitting their target? They wanted to celebrate with a bang!
• What do you call a comedian who loves artillery? A shell-arious joker!
• What did the artillery shell say to the tank? “You’re just a big softie on the inside!”
• What did the artillery sergeant say to his soldiers before the battle? “Remember, aim high and blow ’em sky high!”
• Why did the artillery shell take up meditation? To find inner peace before its explosive journey!
• What do you call an artilleryman with a broken arm? A “cast” cannon operator!
• Why did the artillery sergeant become an artist? Because he wanted to create some truly explosive masterpieces!
• What did the artillery say to the tank? “Let’s shell-ebrate our explosive friendship!”
• What do you call a painter who loves artillery? A blast-stroke artist!
• Why did the artillery shell join a gym? It wanted to strengthen its core and blast through obstacles!
• What did the artillery sergeant say to the recruit who couldn’t aim properly? “You’re really missing the mark!”
• Why do cannons always get invited to parties? Because they know how to make a big bang!
• What do you call a sleepy artillery gun? A snooze cannon!
• Why did the artilleryman bring a paintbrush to the battlefield? He wanted to add some color to the explosions!
• What do you call a group of artillery at a music concert? Heavy metal fans!
• What do you call an artillery officer who can’t aim? A misfire!
• Why did the artillery colonel become a painter? He wanted to master the art of explosion!
• What did the artillery sergeant say to the new recruit? “You better shell-ebrate every direct hit!”
• Why was the artillery so good at math? It could always calculate the trajectory!
• What do you call a party hosted by the artillery unit? A “blast” gathering!
• Why did the artillery officer bring a ladder to the battlefield? So they could aim for the stars!
• Why did the artillery captain become a stand-up comedian? He wanted to make his audience shell out with laughter!
• Why did the artillery sergeant become an art critic? He wanted to give explosive reviews!
• What did the artillery soldier say when he found out he won the lottery? “I’m going to buy a tank and “shell-abrate”!”

 

Artillery Joke Generator

Firing up a good artillery joke can sometimes feel like a real blast, but it’s not always a walk in the park.

(Boom, did you get that?)

That’s when our FREE Artillery Joke Generator comes to your rescue.

Programmed to fuse witty puns, explosive humor, and playful phrases, it generates jokes that are certain to detonate laughter.

Don’t let your humor run out of ammunition.

Utilize our joke generator to deliver jokes that hit the target every time.

So, be ready to pull the trigger of humor with our Artillery Joke Generator.

 

FAQs About Artillery Jokes

Why are artillery jokes so popular?

Artillery jokes are a unique category of humor, often enjoyed by military enthusiasts, history buffs, and those who appreciate a little explosion in their comedy.

They offer an entertaining way to approach the otherwise serious topic of warfare, turning it into a source of laughs.

 

Can artillery jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Artillery jokes, if used appropriately, can be a great conversation starter, especially among those who share an interest in military history or warfare.

They can lighten the mood and engage people in a unique, unexpected way.

 

How can I come up with my own artillery jokes?

1. Start by understanding the terminology of artillery—shell, cannon, mortar, etc. These terms can often be twisted into puns or unexpected punchlines.
2. Think about the scenarios in which artillery are used and try to find humor in those situations.
3. Remember, the key to a good joke is the element of surprise. Try to lead your audience in one direction, then hit them with an unexpected twist.
4. Study existing artillery jokes to understand their structure and rhythm. This can provide a blueprint for your own jokes.
5. Don’t shy away from wordplay and puns. They are the backbone of many great jokes, including artillery ones.

 

Are there any tips for remembering artillery jokes?

To remember artillery jokes, try to associate them with situations or moments when they might be most relevant—like during a war movie, a museum visit, or a discussion about history.

Recalling the context can help you remember the punchline.

 

How can I make my artillery jokes better?

The best artillery jokes balance humor with respect for the serious nature of warfare.

A good joke should entertain without offending.

Practice your jokes with a variety of audiences to gauge reactions and adjust your timing and delivery as needed.

 

How does the Artillery Joke Generator work?

Our Artillery Joke Generator is an easy-to-use tool for sourcing quick, humorous artillery-related jokes.

Simply input relevant keywords, hit the Generate Jokes button, and voila— in no time, you’ll have a set of clever artillery jokes at your disposal.

 

Is the Artillery Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Artillery Joke Generator is completely free to use.

Generate as many jokes as you want to keep your humor arsenal fully stocked.

Enjoy sharing these unique, military-themed laughs with your friends and family!

 

Conclusion

Artillery jokes are a hilarious method to add a bit of a bang to everyday conversations, making life significantly more amusing with each chuckle.

From the sharp and clever to the long and laugh-sparking, there’s an artillery joke for every occasion.

So, the next time you encounter anything related to artillery, remember, there’s humor to be found in every cannon, shell, and salvo.

Keep firing off the laughs, and let the good times explode with joy.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without artillery—unthinkable and, frankly, a bit less explosive.

Happy joking, everyone!

Grenade Jokes That Will Blow You Away With Humor

Bullet Jokes to Hit Your Funny Bone

Mortar Jokes That Will Wreck Your Sides

Cannon Jokes That Will Blast You With Laughter

Tank Jokes for an Explosively Funny Time