758 ATM Jokes for Banking on Good Times

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to cash in on the world of ATM jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the top dollar witticisms.

That’s why we’ve collected a list of the most hilarious ATM jokes.

From puns about pin numbers to hilarious punchlines about deposits, our compilation has a joke for every transaction in life.

So, let’s dive into the vault of ATM humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

ATM Jokes

ATM jokes are a unique blend of wit and humor that are bound to make you laugh out loud.

They’re not just about the machine itself, but also about the various situations and experiences that people encounter at ATMs. From the struggle of forgetting a pin to the joy of finding more balance than expected, ATMs provide plenty of fodder for comedy.

Creating the perfect ATM joke involves clever wordplay, an understanding of human nature, and a pinch of the absurdity that can often arise in our daily encounters with these ubiquitous machines.

Ready to cash in on some laughs?

Withdraw some smiles with these hilarious ATM jokes:

Why did the man throw his ATM card into the ocean? He wanted to see his savings make a splash!
Why was the ATM always happy? It loved making people’s day by giving them cash!
Why did the blonde get stuck at the ATM? She thought it stood for “Automated Thanking Machine”
Why did the ATM bring a ladder to the party? It heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
What did the ATM say to the customer who was asking for advice? I’m here to lend you a hand, but not literally.
What did the ATM say to the customer who kept forgetting their PIN? “Sorry, I can’t help you, it’s just not my type.”
Why did the ATM break up with its significant other? They just couldn’t make any cash flow together.
Why did the bank robber use an ATM? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!
Why did the ATM break up with its calculator? It didn’t want to deal with all the digits!
What did the big ATM say to the little ATM? You’re really making a “withdrawal” on my heart!
Why did the ATM break up with its pen? It thought their relationship was write-off!
Why did the ATM start singing? It got tired of dispensing cash and wanted to become a “note”-worthy performer!
Why did the ATM become an actor? It loved playing different roles, especially the bank-teller.
Why did the dog try to use the ATM? It wanted to withdraw some “bones” for treats!
What did the ATM say when it was asked if it could give out 50-dollar bills? I’m giving it a “bill” shot!
Why did the chicken go to the ATM? It needed some “cluck” for the weekend!
Why did the ATM start going to the gym? It wanted to work on its core balance!
What did one ATM say to the other ATM? I feel short-changed when I’m not near you.
Why did the ATM feel sick? It had too many bad cash flows!
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m here to help you make some dough!
Why did the bank put a fence around the ATM? Because it heard it was a great place to make some dough.
Why did the ATM go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit out of balance!
Why did the ATM go to the bank? It wanted to see its teller friends.
How do ATMs send love letters? They use cash-words.
Why did the ATM get a job at the bakery? It wanted to “dough” its part!
What did the ATM say to the bank vault? “You’re looking very “secure” today!”
Why did the ATM break up with its calculator? It said it wasn’t making enough cents anymore.
How do ATMs exercise? They do lots of card-i-o workouts.
What did the bank say to the ATM during a thunderstorm? Don’t worry, you’ll always have a current account!
Why was the ATM so good at telling jokes? It had a great sense of ATM-osphere!
Why did the ATM go on a diet? It was tired of dealing with all those heavy withdrawals.
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m here to make your cash withdrawals much more interest-ing!
Why did the ATM get in trouble? It was charged with battery.
Why did the ATM break up with its computer? It thought it was too hard-drive.
What did the bank teller say to the ATM? You’ve got a magnetic personality!
Why did the ATM become a comedian? It had a knack for making people laugh, even without cash!
Why did the computer laugh at the ATM? It thought it was “money”!
Why did the ATM go to school? It wanted to be good at counting money!
What did the ATM say to the customer who complained about its fees? “Sorry, I’m just here to withdraw a laugh!”
Why did the ATM become a therapist? It gave great emotional support!
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m here for you, every withdrawal of the way!
Why did the ATM apply for a job as a comedian? It wanted to cash in on some laughter!
Why did the ATM become a lawyer? It was always good at making withdrawals and defenses.
Why did the mathematician use the ATM? He wanted to calculate his cash flow.
Why did the computer take the ATM to dinner? It wanted to make a date with cash.
What did the ATM say to the bank vault? I’m always dispensing the truth.
What did the ATM say to the customer who tried to withdraw too much money? “You’re pushing my buttons!”
Why did the man take a ladder to the ATM? He heard he could make a lot of steps in his banking.
Why did the ATM get a promotion? It was outstanding in its field.
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m cashing you later.
Why did the scarecrow become an ATM technician? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the ATM always win at poker? It had the best poker face – never showing any cash!
Why did the ATM become an actor? It loved being in the spotlight and making withdrawals.
Why did the robber take the ATM machine to dinner? He heard it had good dough.
Why did the bank install an ATM at the zoo? So the gorilla could make his own banana split.
Why did the ATM go broke? It lost interest.
Why did the ATM break up with its calculator? It said it needed some “space”!
Why did the ATM go on vacation? It needed a break from all the constant withdrawals!
Why did the ATM become a weather reporter? It wanted to tell people if there was a “change” of funds.
What did one ATM say to the other? “I feel like I’m being withdrawn from.” .
Why was the ATM always depressed? It had a lot of withdrawal symptoms.
Why did the robot go to the ATM? It needed to upgrade its memory bank.
Why did the kangaroo use the ATM? It needed to check its pouch balance.
What did the ATM say to the customer who asked for a loan? “Sorry, I’m not a bank, but I can give you some change.”
Why did the ATM become a teacher? It wanted to show the students how to make “withdrawals” in life.
Why did the ATM become a stand-up comedian? It loved making people laugh at its punny withdrawal jokes.
Why did the bank go broke? It couldn’t keep its ATMs under lock and key!
Why did the ghost avoid using the ATM? It heard it was a “spook-tacular” way to lose its “boo”cks!
Why don’t ATMs ever get married? Because they are always single and making deposits.
Why did the ATM become a chef? It was great at serving up some cash-flows.
Why did the ATM go to the casino? It wanted to win big, but it ended up losing its balance!
Why did the ATM give its two cents? Because it didn’t have any quarters!
Why did the scarecrow use the ATM? It wanted to save up for some new straw pants.
Why was the ATM so good at stand-up comedy? It always had the perfect timing for punchlines!
Why did the computer date the ATM? It had a magnetic personality!
Why did the ATM go to the casino? It heard it had a lot of “loose change”!
What do you call a singing ATM? An ATM-ospheric karaoke machine.
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m here to make your day with some dough-lightful cash.
Why did the math book use the ATM? It wanted to make some quick calculations.
Why did the ATM become a teacher? It loved giving out valuable life lessons, one transaction at a time!
What did one ATM say to the other? “I’m always available and ready to withdraw!”
Why did the ATM go to the theater? It wanted to see a play about money laundering!
Why did the ATM start a band? It was tired of being a solo artist.
Why did the ATM start reading self-help books? It wanted to dispense some wisdom along with the cash!
Why did the ATM break up with its significant other? They were always too demanding and always wanted their PIN number!
Why did the computer always win at the ATM? It was good at cashing out.
What did the ATM say when it was asked if it wanted to become a singer? “I’m already good at notes!”
Why did the chicken go to the ATM? To check if its account had hatched any interest!
Why did the ATM start dating a piggy bank? It heard they make great savings accounts.
Why did the chicken go to the ATM? To check its balance, of course!
Why did the ATM refuse to give money to the duck? It said the duck’s bill was too big.
Why did the ATM break up with its partner? They were just not making enough withdrawals together.
What did the one ATM say to the other ATM? I feel an emotional connection, we must be cash mates.
Why did the ATM want to join a band? It had a lot of notes to share!
What did the ATM say when asked about its favorite type of music? Easy cash, easy flow!
What did the ATM say when it got a promotion? Looks like I’m moving up in the banking world.
Why did the ATM start telling jokes? It thought it needed to dispense some humor.
What do you call an ATM that’s out of order? A cashless dispenser.
Why did the ATM become a chef? It loved serving up some fresh banknote soup.
Why did the man scream at the ATM? He was going through a cash crisis.
Why did the ATM break up with its calculator girlfriend? She couldn’t count on him.
Why did the scarecrow get a job at the ATM? He heard it was a great place to make some “hay”!
Why don’t ATMs ever get married? They already have commitment issues.
Why did the comedian take his stand-up routine to the ATM? He heard it was the best place for a “cash flow” of laughs!
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m sorry, I can’t make any change without a positive balance of humor!
Why did the ATM go to the bar? It heard the drinks were on the house!
How does an ATM apologize? It says, “Sorry, I’m not cash-y right now.”
Why did the ATM always carry a roll of tape? In case it ran out of cash, it could make a withdrawal note.
Why did the ATM become an artist? It wanted to make some “dough” with its cash withdrawals!
Why was the ATM late for work? It had a cash flow problem.
Why did the squirrel use the ATM? It needed some cashew-nut money.
Why did the bank hire an ATM? It wanted someone with a lot of cash to fill the position!
Why did the ATM start playing football? It wanted to be a running back!
Why was the ATM so good at playing poker? It always had a poker face when dispensing cash.
Why did the ATM become a baker? It was tired of always dealing with dough.
What did the ATM say to the bank robber? You better cash yourself out before you wreck yourself!
Why did the ATM start a blog? It wanted to share its cash-ventures with the world!
What did the ATM say to the customer who was shouting at it? “I’m sorry, but I’m feeling a bit cash-trated right now.”
Why did the ATM go on a vacation? It needed to recharge its batteries!
How did the ATM respond when someone asked for money? It said, “Sorry, I’m a little short right now!”
What did the ATM say to the math teacher? I can count on you!

Short ATM Jokes

Short ATM jokes are like a surprise cash bonus—unexpected, satisfying, and sure to put a smile on your face.

These jokes are perfect for a quick chuckle in a group chat, as a social media status, or that moment at a social gathering when you need a snappy comeback.

The beauty of short ATM jokes lies in their ability to combine elements of everyday life with a humorous twist, delivering laughter in a quick, lighthearted way.

So, are you ready to cash in on some humor?

Here are short ATM jokes that promise a great return on investment in laughter.

Why did the ATM start doing yoga? To find inner balance!
Why did the ATM blush? It saw someone withdrawing some serious cash.
Why was the ATM always frustrated? It had too many change issues!
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m out of cash-straw!
Why don’t ATMs ever get tired? Because they take lots of breaks!
How does an ATM apologize? It makes a cash deposit!
Why do bees love using the ATM? They enjoy making honey withdrawals!
What do you call an ATM that’s always making mistakes? An error-cash-machine!
Why did the bank’s ATM start singing? It wanted some notes!
What’s an ATM’s favorite exercise? Counting its bank notes!
What’s an ATM’s favorite dance move? The cash shuffle!
Why did the bank hire an ATM? It had great withdrawal skills!
Why do ATMs make terrible comedians? They always do cashless jokes!
What’s an ATM’s favorite movie? “Money in the Bank!”
Why was the ATM feeling down? It was low on funds!
Why was the ATM sweating? It had a lot of cash flow!
Why did the ATM blush? It saw someone making a withdrawal slip!
What’s an ATM’s favorite type of dance? The “cash-flow” shuffle!
What’s an ATM’s favorite exercise? Cash-ups!
What do you call a nervous ATM? Anxi-Cash!
Why did the snowman visit the ATM? To make a cool withdrawal!
What did the cash machine say to the customer? I’m a cash-pert!
Why did the chicken use the ATM? It needed some hen-dorsement!
What’s an ATM’s favorite song? “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits.
Why did the ATM visit the dentist? It needed a little change!
Why did the bicycle go to the ATM? It needed its chain-mail!
How do ATMs talk to each other? They use a cash-chat system.
What do you call an ATM that tells jokes? A cash dispenser-comedian!
What’s an ATM’s favorite movie genre? Thrillers – they love suspenseful transactions!
Why did the squirrel visit the ATM? It wanted some cashews!
What do you call an ATM that plays music? A cash register!
What’s an ATM’s favorite type of math? “Subtraction”!
Why did the snowman use the ATM? To check his “frozen” account!
What do you call an ATM that’s out of money? An “atmopshere”!

ATM Jokes One-Liners

ATM jokes one-liners are the essence of humor condensed into a single, quick-witted sentence.

They are the verbal equivalent of withdrawing the exact amount you need from an ATM in one try – crisp, precise, and surprisingly delightful.

Creating a perfect ATM one-liner demands a balance of originality, timing, and a deep understanding of the art of puns.

The goal is to package the setup and punchline into a concise form, delivering a powerful comedic punch with just a few words.

So buckle up and get ready to cash in on some laughter with these ATM one-liners:

I asked the ATM if it could break a hundred-dollar bill. It replied, “I’m sorry, I’m not a stand-up comedian.”
The ATM asked me if I wanted to see my balance, so I pushed it over.
I tried to withdraw some money from the ATM, but it just spat out my debit card and a recipe for homemade bread.
I told the ATM it could keep the receipt, but it responded with, “Oh, I insist, it’s my life’s purpose.”
Why did the ATM feel insecure? It had low self-esteem.
I tried to make a withdrawal at the ATM, but it said, “Sorry, I’m not emotionally available.”
Why did the ATM become a fashion designer? It wanted to make some stylish withdrawals!
ATMs are like superheroes, they have the power to make your money disappear in the blink of an eye.
What do you call a rebellious ATM? A cash machine gone rogue.
I told the ATM that I lost my card, and it responded, “Don’t worry, I’m used to people losing their balance.”
Why was the ATM always so stressed? It had too many bills to pay.
I saw an ATM that said “Enter PIN number twice for a surprise.” So I entered 12341234 and got a “Transaction Failed” message.
I asked the ATM for some money, and it replied, “Sorry, I’m all out. But I can offer you a 10% discount on the vending machine next door.”
I asked the ATM for a joke, but it only dispensed my balance. Apparently, it wasn’t in the mood for humor.
Why did the ATM start dating a toaster? It said they just had a great connection.
Why did the ATM break up with its bank? It thought they were just using each other.
I tried to make a withdrawal at the ATM, but it just kept saying “You’re too clingy.” Rude!
I saw a sign on an ATM that said, “Cashier inside.” I thought, “Wow, they must have upgraded to human ATMs.”
I asked the ATM for my balance, and it gave me a yoga pose.
ATMs are like my exes, they’re always asking me for money and giving me nothing in return.
My relationship with ATMs is complicated, they’re always giving me mixed signals like “Insufficient funds” and “Your balance is too low.”
I tried to flirt with an ATM, but it just kept saying, “Invalid transaction.”
ATM: “Please take your cash.” Me: “Please take my student loans instead.”
The ATM asked me if I wanted a receipt, I said, “No thanks, I already have enough paper to recycle.”
ATMs are like my exes, they always ask for money and never give any back.
Why did the robot go to the ATM? It needed some spare change for its circuits.
I asked the ATM if it wanted to go out for a drink, but it said it was seeing someone on the side.
ATM: “Do you need a receipt?” Me: “No, I’m already keeping track of my financial mistakes in my head.”
My friend said he uses the ATM for entertainment. I told him that’s just a withdraw-l of his time.
I saw a sign on an ATM that said, “Please insert your card.” So, I threw in a greeting card and ran away.
Why did the ATM start a YouTube channel? It wanted to share its “cash-tastic” videos.
I asked the ATM for some cash, and it responded with, “Are you sure you want to withdraw money? Remember, money can’t buy happiness.” I replied, “No, but it can buy snacks, and that’s pretty close.”
I asked the ATM to give me some money, and it replied, “Sure, just let me consult my financial advisor, Siri.”
I told the ATM I needed some cash, and it responded, “Sorry, I’m just here for your entertainment.”
What did the ATM say to the customer who couldn’t remember their PIN? “I guess we’ll have to make a withdrawal from your memory bank.”
The ATM machine gave me my cash and a receipt, but I’m still waiting for a “Thank you” note.
I asked the ATM for some cash, and it replied, “Sorry, I’m only programmed for dad jokes.”
Why did the ATM always have the latest fashion trends? It had a lot of cash flow.
I asked the ATM for some money advice, but all it said was “Insufficient Funds.” Thanks for nothing!
Why did the ATM become a teacher? It wanted to help students with their accounts.
I asked the ATM if it could lend me some money, it replied, ‘I’m just a machine, I don’t understand the concept of lending’.
I asked the ATM if it had any spare change, and it replied, “Sorry, I’m just a machine, not a bank of generosity.”
I saw a sign at the ATM that said, “Feed me your money, and I’ll give you a receipt you’ll never read.”
ATMs should have a “Just Kidding” option, for when you accidentally withdraw more money than you meant to.
Why did the computer date the ATM? It heard it was good with numbers.
ATMs are like my relationship status – always reminding me that I’m single and broke.
I tried to deposit my worries at the ATM, but it just gave me a receipt that said “Transaction Failed.”
What did the ATM say to the customer who asked for a receipt? “Why do you need a paper trail? Are you planning a heist?”
I asked the ATM for my balance, and it kindly showed me how broke I am.
The best thing about ATMs is that they never judge you for having a bank account with more fees than actual money in it.
What did the ATM say to the bank teller? “I’m feeling a little short-changed today.”
Why did the ATM start taking dance lessons? It wanted to improve its cash flow.
What did the ATM say to the customer? Stop making withdrawals, you’re taking all my interest.
Why did the ATM always go to the gym? It wanted to get a good balance.
The ATM gave me a weird look when I asked for “funny money.” Apparently, that’s not a withdrawal option.
My ATM was feeling generous today, so it gave me a receipt longer than my shopping list.
The ATM whispered, “I’ve seen people withdraw money for strange things, but you definitely win the prize for most ridiculous purchase.”
I asked an ATM if it had any dating advice, it replied, “Just swipe left if they’re not your type.”
I tried to deposit my money at the ATM, but it rejected it saying, “I’m not falling for your dirty money laundering tricks.”
My ATM card is like a loyal friend; it always tells me I have no money.
Why did the ATM become a DJ? It loved making withdrawals and dropping beats.
The ATM asked if I wanted a receipt, but I declined. I told it I was already broke enough.
I tried to make a withdrawal at the ATM, but it just laughed and said, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
I asked the ATM to give me a thousand dollars, and it replied, “Sure, just let me consult my imaginary bank manager.”
Why did the ATM start a comedy club? It wanted to make everyone laugh their change off!
I told the ATM I needed some cash for a date, and it responded, ‘Sorry, you’re way out of my league’.
I told the ATM I needed some cash for a concert, and it said, “Sorry, I can’t help with your bad taste in music.”
I told the ATM I wanted to withdraw $100, and it responded, “Sorry, I can’t make change.”
I tried to make a withdrawal at the ATM, but it said, “Insufficient funds.” So I punched it and said, “Now we’re even!”
Why did the ATM start a fitness class? It wanted to help people get their finances in shape!
I asked the ATM if it had any spare change, but it just spat out a receipt that said, “Change your spending habits.”
I tried to deposit my money at the ATM, but it just kept giving me the cold shoulder.
I tried depositing some money at the ATM, but it just kept saying ‘unexpected item in the bagging area’.
The ATM asked me if I wanted a receipt, so I replied, “No thanks, I’m trying to save trees.”
I saw an ATM that said, “Please enter your PIN number.” I replied, “I prefer ABBA.”
I saw an ATM playing chess once, it was really good at cashing out the king.
What’s an ATM’s favorite type of music? Cash me outside.
I named my dog “ATM” because he’s always taking my money for a walk.
I tried to make a deposit at the ATM, but it rejected my bag of pennies. Apparently, it only accepts sense.
I saw an ATM with a sign that said, “Feed me your dreams, and I’ll dispense reality.”
I saw an ATM with a sign that said “Free Money,” turns out it was just referring to the air conditioning inside.
I was standing at the ATM, and a guy behind me said, “I hope you leave some money in there for the rest of us.” I replied, “Don’t worry, I’m just here to take out a loan.”
The ATM told me it had a sense of humor, but all it ever gives me is a receipt.
Why did the ATM always win at poker? It had the best “chip” and “pin” number.
I asked the ATM for my fortune, and it responded with my bank balance.
I asked the ATM for my balance, and it printed me a receipt that said, “You’re poor.”
I tried taking my cat to the ATM, but it just kept saying ‘insufficient purr-funds’.
I went to the ATM to deposit some money, but it just laughed and said, “Nice try, buddy.”
I tried to withdraw some money from an ATM and it said, “Sorry, I’m out of circulation.”
ATMs should give out chocolate instead of receipts. That way, we can have some sweet money.
Why did the ATM get in trouble? It had a bad balance.
I don’t trust ATMs, they’re always withdrawing from my bank account!
I tried to make a withdrawal at the ATM, but it asked me if I wanted to play a game of chess instead.
I went to the ATM to get some cash, but it only gave me a piece of paper that said, “Your financial situation is hilarious.”
ATM machines are like my exes, always taking my money and never giving anything back.
I saw a sign at the ATM that said, “Please insert your card,” so I threw in my Monopoly set.
Why did the ATM break up with its partner? It said they just didn’t have enough interest!
The ATM told me, “Sorry, I can’t give you any cash. I’m on a strict diet.”
I told the ATM to give me some financial advice, and it replied, “Invest in snacks. You can always count on them.”
The ATM told me it had trust issues. I guess it has been burned by a lot of counterfeit money.
Why did the ATM refuse to give the customer their money? It said they didn’t have enough interest.
Why did the ATM become an artist? It loved painting the town red…and green.
I asked the ATM for my favorite song and it started playing “Money, Money, Money.”
I asked the ATM for my money back, but it just laughed and gave me a receipt instead.
I walked up to an ATM and it said, “Please enter your PIN number.” I thought, “Oh, great, now it wants my PIN number number.”
ATMs are like my ex, they only give me a little bit of cash before saying “Not enough funds.”
I asked the ATM for my balance, and it replied, “You’re outstanding!”
I tried to deposit my problems at the ATM, but it said “Insufficient Funds.”
Why did the ATM start a band? It already had all the cash and was looking for some change.
I saw a sign at the ATM that said, ‘Please enter your PIN number backwards so we know you’re being held hostage.’ So I entered it normally and the ATM gave me money.
I tried to withdraw some money from the ATM, but it said, “Insufficient funds, please insert a reality check.”
Why did the ATM get a job as a comedian? It always had a lot of cash to make people laugh.
I told my wife I needed to go to the ATM because the bills were piling up. She handed me a vacuum cleaner.
What did the ATM say to the customer who asked for more money? Sorry, I’m running out of options.
I used to think ATM stood for “Automated Teller Machine,” but now I realize it actually means “Always Taking Money.”
Why did the ATM start wearing glasses? It was tired of dealing with all the “withdrawal” symptoms.
I tried to deposit a joke into the ATM, but it said it was a bad pun.
What did the ATM say when it was caught stealing? “I swear, it’s just a withdrawal symptom!”
ATMs should come with a disclaimer: “Warning: This machine may cause temporary happiness followed by a long-lasting feeling of emptiness.”
Why don’t ATMs ever get invited to parties? They always stand in the corner, guarding their cash and being antisocial.
ATM: “Please enter your PIN.” Me: “Oh, I thought you said PIZZA, my bad.”
I told the ATM, “You complete me.” It replied, “Sorry, I can only dispense money, not emotional support.”
Why was the ATM always so tired? It was working round the clock.
I asked the ATM for some dating advice and it told me to always go for someone who makes cents.
I tried to make a withdrawal from an ATM using a chocolate bar. It said, “Invalid candy currency.”
Why did the ATM start a blog? It wanted to keep its transactions private.
I saw a guy at the ATM having a heated argument with the screen. I guess he was having a withdrawal dispute.
Why did the ATM become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to withdraw laughter from people!
My friend asked me if I knew how to use an ATM. I said, “Of course, it’s as easy as A-T-M… or is it M-T-A?”
Why did the ATM take up gardening? It heard it had a lot of green.
The ATM told me it’s been having a hard time lately. Apparently, it’s been dealing with a lot of emotional transactions.
I went to the ATM and asked for money. It replied, ‘Sorry, I’m broke too’.
I asked the ATM if it had any dating advice. It said, “Just be yourself, unless you’re overdrawn.”
Why did the ATM become a gardener? It loved to sow the seeds of savings.
I went to the ATM today and it asked me if I wanted to make a donation… I said, “Sure, why not? Here’s my PIN number.”
I tried to withdraw some money from the ATM, but it just replied, “Sorry, I’m cashed out.”
The ATM told me it was feeling generous, but it just gave me a bunch of empty promises.
I asked the ATM to give me some cash, and it responded, “Why don’t you try being funnier?”
I asked the ATM if it could break a $50 bill, it said, “Sorry, I’m not a relationship counselor.”
I tried to teach my dog to use the ATM, but he just kept barking at it. Guess he prefers “bark transfers” instead.
I accidentally pushed the wrong button at the ATM, and it started singing “Dancing Queen” by ABBA.
ATMs and I have a lot in common, we both like to give out money but hate receiving it.
Why did the bank install a new ATM? Because the old one wasn’t making enough “cents”
I used an ATM in a haunted house, it gave me ghost cash – transparent and worthless!
ATMs are like modern-day genies, except instead of granting wishes, they just dispense money while silently judging your bank balance.
Why did the ATM apply for a job as a stand-up comedian? It wanted to make people laugh while dispensing cash.
Why did the ATM start a bakery? It heard it could roll in the dough!
I asked the ATM for a loan, and it replied, “I’m an Automated Teller Machine, not a Miracle Worker.”
ATMs are just like a box of chocolates, you never know if it’s going to give you money or take all your money.
The ATM and I had a staring contest, but it blinked and gave me my money.
I asked the ATM for a joke, but it just handed me my account balance.
ATMs are so polite, they always ask if I want a receipt as if I have any intention of balancing my checkbook.
I asked the ATM for my balance, and it gave me the phone number for a yoga studio. Apparently, it thinks I need to find my inner peace.
Why do ATMs have Braille on the keys? Are blind people really good at using them?
I tried to deposit my cat at the ATM, thinking it would give me some “kitty cash.” Turns out, it’s not a feline-friendly machine.
I tried to tell the ATM a joke, but it just gave me a blank stare and dispensed my cash. Tough crowd.
I asked the ATM for my money back, but it just laughed and said, “Sorry, I’m not a comedian.”
I went to the ATM and asked for a balance check. It responded, “Sure, you’re really bad at yoga.”
ATMs should have a “Do you really need that?” button, just to make us reconsider our impulse purchases.
I saw a squirrel trying to use the ATM. It kept entering “acorn” as the PIN, but it was always denied.
Why did the ATM get a job as a comedian? It loved giving out punchlines.
Why did the bank install an ATM at the zoo? Because the animals needed their own cash “koala-fications”
Why do ATMs always have a Braille keypad? Are they expecting blind thieves?
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m cashing out, I need some space.
Why did the ATM become a comedian? It said it needed to cash in on its jokes.
ATMs are like magicians, making your money disappear in the blink of an eye. But unfortunately, they never bring it back.
Why did the ATM start taking karate lessons? So it could defend itself against identity theft!
I overheard an ATM talking to another ATM, saying, “I don’t trust banks. They’re always taking deposits and making withdrawals.”
I went to the ATM and tried to withdraw some money, but all it gave me was a receipt that said, “You’re broke, but have a nice day.”
I asked the ATM for my money back and it replied, “Sorry, I’m out of change.”
ATMs are like magic, they can turn your hard-earned money into receipts in seconds.
I saw an ATM with a sign that said, “Feed me and I’ll give you money.” I didn’t fall for it; I’m not feeding the hand that takes my dough.
Why did the ATM become a motivational speaker? It said it wanted to inspire people to make more deposits.
I saw a sign on an ATM that said, “If you think I’m giving you free money, you’re in de-Nile.”
I asked the ATM for my balance and it pushed me off my feet.
ATM machines are like my love life, full of disappointment and always out of service.
What did the sign on the broken ATM say? “Out of order. Karate lessons available.”
I can never remember my PIN, but luckily, my bank knows it’s 1234 just as well as I do.
I asked the ATM if it could lend me some cash. It replied, “Sorry, I’m just a machine. I can’t lend an ear either.”
Why did the ATM break up with its calculator? It said their relationship didn’t add up anymore.

ATM Dad Jokes

ATM dad jokes are the perfect mix of financial humor and classic dad punchlines that will definitely make you chuckle while shaking your head.

These are the type of jokes that are so corny, they’re hilarious.

Whether it’s at a party, family get-together, or when you’re waiting in line at the ATM, these jokes are bound to lighten the mood and bring a smile to everyone’s face.

Prepare yourself for some hearty laughter and a few eye rolls.

Here are some ATM dad jokes that are guaranteed to entertain:

Why did the ATM start a band? It wanted to make some “dough” with its cash register skills!
Why did the ATM become a stand-up comedian? It was tired of being taken for granted.
Why did the ATM start dating a vending machine? They both had a lot of change to spare!
Why did the ATM start running? It heard it was going to get a lot of withdrawals.
Why did the ATM start playing music? Because it wanted to make some bank notes.
Why did the ATM break up with its girlfriend? She was always taking too much cash out of their relationship.
Why did the cow go to the ATM? It needed to make a cash moo-ve!
Why did the computer go to the bank? It wanted to meet its ATMotherboard!
Why did the ATM catch a cold? It didn’t cover its cash slot when it sneezed!
Why did the scientist bring a microscope to the ATM? To study the microtransactions!
How did the ATM apologize to its user? It said, “Sorry for the withdrawl.”
Why did the ATM become a motivational speaker? Because it wanted to inspire people to save their money.
What did the one ATM say to the other? “I feel a connection between us!”
Why did the chicken stand in line at the ATM? It wanted to withdraw some “cluck” of cash.
Why did the ATM break up with its computer? It said, “I need someone who doesn’t take me for granted.”
Why did the ATM start dating the calculator? They both knew how to make transactions!
Why did the squirrel use the ATM? It needed to withdraw some “acorn”-venience cash.
What did the ATM say to the customer who made a withdrawal? “You’ve made quite an impressive debankle!”
Why did the ATM start singing? Because it had heard it was “making a lot of dough”!
Why did the ATM start exercising? It wanted to have a fit-ness with money.
Why did the woman bring her cat to the ATM? She wanted to make a paw-sit withdrawal!
Why did the scarecrow go to the ATM? It heard it had the best “bale-ance.”
What’s an ATM’s favorite movie? Die Hard Cash.
Why did the ATM become an artist? Because it loved making some dough.
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m here to take care of your cash needs, no PIN-tended!
Why do ATMs make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always a little cashy!
Why did the math teacher open an ATM? He wanted to make some deposits and see them multiply!
Why did the ATM go on a diet? It had too many empty transactions!
What’s an ATM’s favorite song? “Take the Money and Run.” .
Why did the ATM become a painter? Because it wanted to make some art-mony.
Why did the bank install a new ATM machine? They needed to make some withdraw-l changes!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems and didn’t have any ATM.
Why did the ATM become an opera singer? It had a lot of notes!
Why did the ATM go on vacation? It needed some “ATM-osphere” to relax!
What do you call it when an ATM gets a promotion? A cash advancement!
Why did the ATM get a promotion? It always gives credit where it’s due.
What do you call a bee that visits the ATM? A honey money bee.
Why did the ATM turn red? It saw a lot of green.
Why did the ATM start doing stand-up comedy? It wanted to make some cash laugh.
Why did the cat go to the ATM? It wanted to check its “purrse”onal savings!
What do you call a money dispenser that tells jokes? A comedian ATM!
Why did the ATM go on a diet? It was tired of eating dough.
Why was the ATM cold? Because it left its PIN number outside.
Why did the scarecrow go to the ATM? He needed some cash for his pumpkin seed savings!
Why did the ATM break up with its calculator? It found someone who could count on it more!
Why did the ATM become a chef? Because it wanted to serve up some fresh dough.
Why did the ATM start a fight at the party? It had too many withdrawals!
Why did the tomato go to the ATM? It wanted to make a “sauce” account deposit!
Why did the ATM join a band? It wanted to be the “cash” drummer.
Why did the ATM apologize to the customer? It said, “Sorry, I’m just going through a rough cash flow right now!”
Why did the ghost go to the ATM? It needed some “boo”cks for the afterlife!
Why did the ATM become a stand-up comedian? It loved making people laugh and then asking for a withdrawal fee!
Why did the cowboy take his horse to the ATM? Because he wanted to check his balance.
Why did the ATM become a detective? Because it wanted to solve the case of the missing cash.
Why did the chicken go to the ATM? It wanted to withdraw some “cluck” currency!
Why did the scarecrow use the ATM? Because he needed some cash to buy some new clothes!
What did the ATM say to the customer who couldn’t remember their PIN? “Sorry, I can’t make withdrawals on a hunch!”
Why did the ATM have a hard time making friends? It was always giving out cold shoulders!
Why did the ATM break up with its girlfriend? She wasn’t making enough deposits.
Why did the ATM break up with its partner? It felt too suffocated with all the transactions!
Why did the ATM get a promotion? It was the most reliable employee, always dispensing funds on time!
Why was the ATM always so calm? It had a lot of balance in its life.
Why did the man take his ladder to the ATM? He heard he could get a higher interest rate!
Why did the math teacher go to the ATM? To deposit some calculator money.
Why was the ATM a good comedian? It always delivered cash-terfully timed jokes!
Why did the man take a ladder to the ATM? Because he heard he could make some high-interest deposits!
Why did the ATM start a blog? Because it had a lot of interesting cash flows to share.
Why did the ATM get a job as a comedian? It was always making withdrawals!
Why did the ATM always go to yoga class? It wanted to find its inner balance!
Why did the ATM start a garden? It wanted to grow some interest!
Why did the person feed their dollar bill into the ATM backwards? They wanted to see their money go in the opposite direction!
Why did the ATM get a promotion? Because it was always making a lot of deposits!
Why did the baker go to the ATM? He wanted to make some “dough” transactions!
Why did the ATM blush? It saw someone checking out its assets!
Why did the tomato turn red at the ATM? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the ATM start dating a clock? It liked someone who always had time for it!
Why did the ATM get a job as a DJ? Because it knew how to mix bills and make some change.
Why did the man bring a blender to the ATM? He wanted to make some liquid assets!
What did the ATM say when it was frustrated? “I’m running out of patience!”
Why did the ATM turn down a date? It said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not your type. I only give out cash.”
Why was the ATM so friendly? It had a great sense of bank-der!
Why was the math book in line at the ATM? It needed to calculate some interest.
Why did the tree use the ATM? It needed some “branch” banking services.
Why did the ATM go on a diet? It wanted to shed some extra bank notes!
Why did the ATM become a teacher? It wanted to show its students the importance of financial notes!
Why did the football team go to the ATM? They needed to make a “quarter”back!
Why did the gardener bring a shovel to the ATM? He heard it was a great place to dig up some green!
Why did the man stare at the ATM? Because it said “Please insert your card” and he didn’t have a card!
Why did the ATM visit the doctor? Because it was feeling a little cashed out.
Why did the ATM become a teacher? Because it wanted to educate people on financial matters.
Why was the math teacher always happy when visiting the ATM? It gave him the opportunity to count his blessings!
What did the ATM say to the customer who was struggling to operate it? “You need to withdraw some patience!”
Why did the ATM break up with its significant other? It felt too much emotional withdraw-al!
Why did the computer go to the ATM? It wanted to see if its motherboard had any money!
How does an ATM get its exercise? It does a lot of card-io.
Why did the ATM break up with its girlfriend? She didn’t appreciate its cash flow!
What did the ATM say to the customer who wanted to withdraw $10? “Sorry, I’m a little short!”
Why did the ATM break up with its partner? They were having too many cash-flow problems!
Why did the ATM become an astronaut? Because it wanted to explore new bank-er territories.
Why did the ATM always give good advice? It had a lot of currency.
Why did the ATM become an actor? It always gave great performances!
What did the ATM say to the bank robber? “You’re really pushing my buttons.”
Why did the soccer player go to the ATM? To check if he had enough cash for his next goal celebration.
What did the ATM say when the customer asked for a loan? Sorry, I’m cash-trophobic!
Why did the ATM get in trouble at the library? It was always checking out too much cash!
Why was the ATM not feeling well? It had a case of withdrawal symptoms!
What did one ATM say to the other? We make quite a cash-tastic team, don’t you think?
Why did the ATM join a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to make some “dough” from scratch!
Why did the golfer use the ATM? He needed to make a hole-in-one withdrawal.
Why did the bank robber become an ATM technician? Because he wanted to make a withdrawal without any charges!
Why did the chicken go to the ATM? Because it needed some cash for its hen party!
Why did the ATM join a band? It had a knack for making beats.
Why was the ATM always so calm? Because it knew how to keep its cool during transactions!
Why did the skeleton go to the ATM? To check its balance… bone-dry as usual!
Why did the ATM become an artist? It heard it could make some great bank notes!
Why did the ATM go to school? Because it wanted to improve its counting skills!
Why did the ATM get in trouble at school? It was caught passing funny money!
Why did the ATM start dating? It was searching for its perfect match.
What did the ATM say when it won the lottery? “I’m feeling quite ATM-azing!”
Why did the ATM start telling jokes? It needed to break the ice when people were feeling with-drawled!
Why did the astronaut use the ATM on the moon? They needed some “space” cash.
Why did the ATM get a promotion at work? It was always good at handling money.
Why did the ATM become a comedian? It had a great sense of bank humor.
Why did the bank hire an ATM? It needed someone reliable to make cents of the situation!
Why did the ATM take up gardening? Because it loved watching its money grow.
Why did the ATM become a comedian? It loved making “withdrawn” faces at people!
Why was the ATM always so calm? It had great composure!
Why did the ATM go to school? Because it wanted to be a little money smarter.
Why did the ATM become a comedian? It knew how to deliver some funny money.
Why don’t ATMs ever get into trouble? They know how to stay out of debit.
Why did the piggy bank visit the ATM? It wanted to break free from its coin-straints!
Why did the man start talking to the ATM? He thought it was his long-lost PIN pal!
Why did the cat use the ATM? It wanted to withdraw its nine lives.
What’s an ATM’s favorite exercise? Deep money breaths!

ATM Jokes for Kids

ATM jokes for kids are the pocket-sized merriment of the joke world—safe, intriguing, and always a favorite with the little ones.

These jokes inspire kids to explore the amusing side of everyday objects, nurturing a sense of humor that’s as dependable as the ATM itself.

Moreover, ATM jokes for kids provide a subtle insight into the world of finance, transforming that regular machine on the street into a source of giggles.

Ready for some harmless hilarity?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling over their pocket money:

Why did the giraffe use the ATM? Because it wanted some “long”-term investments!
What did the math book say to the ATM? I’ve got problems, and you’ve got solutions!
Why did the clown go to the ATM? To check if his balance was funny!
Why did the robot go to the ATM? To upgrade its cash processing power!
Why did the cow go to the ATM? To get a mooo-ney withdrawal!
Why did the ATM start telling jokes? It wanted to lighten up the mood while dispensing cash!
Why was the ATM shivering? It had too many cold hard cash withdrawals!
Why did the fish go to the ATM? To get some extra seaweed cash!
Why did the pig go to the ATM? It needed to make a ‘sow’-cial withdrawal!
What’s an ATM’s favorite exercise? Financial crunches!
Why did the pig go to the ATM? It wanted to save up for a ham-burger!
Why was the ATM invited to the party? It had a lot of dough to bring along!
What did the ATM say to the math worksheet? “I can count money much faster than you can!”
Why did the scarecrow go to the ATM? It heard it could withdraw some straw cash.
Why did the ATM start singing in the middle of the transaction? It got too excited and wanted to make some “withdrawlodies”!
Why did the ATM go to school? It wanted to become a bank teller!
Why did the ATM eat a dollar bill? It wanted some “green” for lunch!
How do ATMs introduce themselves? “Hi, I’m your money machine!”
Why did the ATM refuse to give money to the skunk? It didn’t want any stinky withdrawals!
Why did the bank close their ATM? It wasn’t making enough “cents”!
What do you call a group of ATMs having a party? A cash bash!
Why did the ATM start working out? It wanted to become a strong “bank” machine!
Why did the chicken go to the ATM? It wanted to make a poultry withdrawal!
What do you call an ATM that loves to dance? A cash flow!
What did one ATM say to the other ATM? “I’m feeling a bit out of balance today!”
Why did the bear go to the ATM? It needed some bear-y big bills!
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m here for you, rain or shine!
What did the ATM say to the customer who didn’t have any money? “Sorry, you’re running on empty!”
Why was the math book sad when it went to the ATM? It only had a lot of withdrawal problems!
What did the ocean say to the ATM? Nothing, it just waved!
Why was the ATM always calm and relaxed? Because it knew how to stay in its “cash” flow.
What did the chicken say to the ATM? I need to make a “cluck” withdrawal!
Why did the chicken use the ATM? To check if it had enough chicken feed in the bank!
Why was the ATM always happy? It had a great sense of balance!
What do you call a bear at the ATM? A grizzly withdrawal!
Why did the computer go to the bank? It wanted to withdraw some bytes from the ATM!
What did the ATM say to the money? I feel withdrawal symptoms when you’re not around!
Why did the computer blush at the ATM? It saw its motherboard withdrawing money without its permission!
What did the ATM say to the customer? I’m here to take care of your money, so don’t bank on any problems.
What did the ATM say to the customer who was withdrawing money? “You’re really taking a lot of interest in me!”
Why did the pirate use the ATM? He needed some “buccaneers”!
What did the ATM say to the customer? “I’m cashing in on this transaction!”
Why did the ATM go to the dentist? Because it was short on cash!
Why did the bank robber take a ladder to the ATM? Because he wanted to reach the “high” interest rates!
Why was the ATM always so good at math? It knew how to count on its money!
What did the ATM say to the piggy bank? “You’re a small change compared to me!”
What do you get if you cross an ATM with a robot? A machine that always gives you money with a smile!
Why did the duck go to the ATM? To get some bills quacked!
Why was the ATM so good at math? Because it could count cash accurately!
Why did the ATM become an actor? It loved making deposits in the applause bank!
Why did the squirrel go to the ATM? To check his acorn balance!
What did the ATM say to the piggy bank? “I bet I can handle more money than you can!”
Why did the ATM go on a diet? It wanted to shed a few pounds… of money!
What did the one ATM say to the other ATM on Halloween? Let’s dress up as cash machines and really make some withdrawals!
Why did the ATM go to school? To improve its “change” of mind!
What do you call it when an ATM gives you money without working properly? A cash malfunction!
Why did the kid take a ladder to the ATM? He heard it had great savings rates.
What did one ATM say to the other? “I feel so secure when we’re together!”
Why did the ATM go to the party? It heard there was going to be a lot of cash flow.
Why did the tomato go to the ATM? It wanted some extra ketchup!
What do you call a very polite ATM? A “thank you for your transaction” machine!
Why did the ATM start making funny noises? It had a case of “cash-achews”!
Why did the ATM become an actor? Because it wanted to be in “cash” commercials!
Why did the kid take a piggy bank to the ATM? He wanted to teach it how to save money the high-tech way.
Why did the ATM become a stand-up comedian? It had a knack for delivering punchlines and cash withdrawals!
What do you get when you cross an ATM and a computer? A lot of money and a very happy hacker!
What do you call a funny ATM? A joke-a-teller!
Why did the ATM go to school? To get better at counting money!
What did one ATM say to the other ATM? I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a little ATMOSPHERE today!
Why did the snail go to the ATM? To take out some slow cash!
What did the ATM say to the piggy bank? “You’re too ‘sloooooow’ for this cash race!”
Why did the alien visit the ATM? To make an intergalactic withdrawal!
What do you call a cow using an ATM? A cash cow!
What did one ATM say to the other? “I’m feeling a bit under-the-weather, I think I have a virus!”
Why did the bank bring an umbrella to the ATM? In case it started “making it rain”!
What did the ATM say to the customer? “I’m always here to make a withdrawal… of smiles!”
What do you call a robot at the ATM? A cash circuit!
Why did the ATM become an actor? It loved making money in front of the camera!
What did the computer say to the ATM? Stop pushing my buttons!
Why did the ATM stop playing sports? It didn’t have the drive to make a withdrawal!
Why did the soccer player go to the ATM? To make a deposit and save up for his dream soccer shoes!
What do you call a dinosaur that uses the ATM? A tyrannosaurus checks!
What did the one dollar bill say to the ATM? “I feel like a million bucks when I’m with you!”
What’s an ATM’s favorite kind of music? Cash Money Rap!
Why did the piggy bank visit the ATM? To deposit its savings!
Why did the ATM start telling jokes? It wanted to withdraw some laughter from its customers!
What kind of money do fishermen use? Bait money they get from the ATM!
Why did the ATM sit on the park bench? It wanted to check its account balance in peace!
What did the ATM say to the penny? Stop hanging around, you’re making me “change” my mind!
Why did the pig bring a ladder to the ATM? To piggy bank on a higher interest rate!
Why did the ATM start dancing? It heard it had some moves!
What do you call a dinosaur at the ATM? A cash-asaurus.
What did the ATM say to the customer who was struggling to use it? “Don’t worry, I’m here for your withdraw-l!” .
Why did the math book go to the ATM? To check its bank account, it heard it had lots of interest!
What did the ATM say to the customer who made a mistake while withdrawing money? “You made a withdrawl error, please take a step back!”
Why did the jellyfish use the ATM? It wanted some liquid assets!
Why did the ATM go to the park? It wanted to see some “currency” trees!
Why did the mathematician go to the ATM? To calculate his “bank balance”!
Why did the chicken go to the ATM? It needed to check if its eggs were hatched!
Why was the squirrel excited to use the ATM? It wanted to see some “acorn”-tions!
What did one ATM say to the other ATM? We make a great “withdrawal” together!
What do you get if you cross a sheep and an ATM? Money that grows on trees!
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open at the ATM!
Why did the ATM always have a great sense of humor? It had a lot of funny money!
What did the ATM say to the customer? “Don’t worry, I’m here for your notes and your jokes!”
Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets.
Why did the monkey go to the ATM? It wanted to swing by and withdraw some bananas!
How does an ATM send you birthday wishes? It gives you lots of cash, of course!
Why did the ATM go to school? It wanted to get its master’s in finance!
What did the ATM say to the piggy bank? “You’re so funny, you’re giving me cash-terics!”
Why did the kid bring a ladder to the ATM? Because it heard money was on the “higher” shelf!
What do you call an ATM that’s not working? A cash-stration machine!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to the ATM? They heard it was a high-interest bank!
Why did the ATM give everyone a hug? It was programmed to dispense cash and hugs!
What do you call a sneaky ATM? A cash machine! It’s always up to some funny business!
Why did the soccer player go to the ATM? To get his paycheck!
Why did the robot go to the ATM? To deposit some spare nuts and bolts!
What do you call an ATM that’s always grumpy? A cash machine!
Why did the ATM go to the doctor? It had too many withdrawal symptoms!
Why did the bank invest in a new ATM? It wanted to make some serious withdrawals!

ATM Jokes for Adults

Who said banking can’t be fun?

ATM jokes for adults are a refreshing take on humor, combining the complexity of financial lingo with a sprinkle of adult wit.

Just like a well-balanced bank account, these jokes balance elements of humor, intelligence, and a hint of naughtiness to deliver hearty laughter.

These jokes are perfect for cocktail parties, office breaks, or simply as an ice breaker during those tense budget meetings.

Here are some ATM jokes designed to amuse adults and lighten up any conversation about finance:

Why did the man get kicked out of the bank? He kept trying to make deposits at the ATM…with Monopoly money!
Why did the ATM break up with its partner? It found someone with a bigger balance!
Why did the ATM break up with its significant other? It said they just weren’t making enough deposits in the relationship!
Why did the computer date the ATM? It was attracted to its magnetic personality!
Why did the ATM get a promotion? It was always making excellent withdrawals and never came up short!
Why did the ATM feel lonely? It was always counting money, but never had any friends!
Why did the ATM feel lonely? It always got carded, but never got any phone numbers.
Why did the dog refuse to use the ATM? It didn’t want to risk its bark account being compromised!
Why did the mathematician always use the ATM? He liked counting his money in binary!
What’s the favorite song of an ATM? “Take the Money and Run” by The Steve Miller Band!
Why was the ATM always sad? It had a low self-esteEM!
Why did the man walk out of the ATM laughing? Because he just made a withdrawal and the machine gave him an extra $100!
Why did the elephant use the ATM? It wanted to see its account balance grow as big as its trunk!
Why did the ATM start crying? It got a receipt from a customer that said, “You have no money left.”
Why did the blonde refuse to use the ATM? She thought it stood for “Automated Teller Machine” and she preferred human tellers!
What did the bank tell the ATM when it was time to retire? It’s time to cash out and take a vacation!
Why did the ATM get a promotion? It always made a “bank” on its transactions!
Why did the ATM become a comedian? It loved making people laugh with its funny money transactions!
Why did the robber always bring a refrigerator to the ATM? So he could make a clean getaway with cold, hard cash!
Why did the ATM become a motivational speaker? It knew the importance of making deposits for success.
Why did the man put his ear against the ATM? Because he wanted to check if it was talking behind his back!
Why was the ATM always cold? It always had frozen assets!
Why did the ATM become a stand-up comedian? It had a knack for making people laugh and withdraw money at the same time!
Why did the ATM feel lonely? It never received any love letters, only withdrawal slips.
Why did the ATM break up with its smartphone? It said they just couldn’t swipe right anymore!
What did the ATM say to the customer? “I’m here to withdraw your cash, not your problems!”
Why did the ATM go on a diet? It wanted to shed some “weight” off its cash reserves.
Why did the ATM start taking yoga classes? It wanted to find balance in its transactions!
Why did the man bring a magnifying glass to the ATM? Because he wanted to make a close inspection of his balance!
Why was the ATM always so tired? It had too many late-night transactions!
Why did the ATM start working out? It wanted to strengthen its core functions!
I asked the ATM for my balance, and it told me to go stand on one leg. Turns out, it wanted to see if I had any sense of balance!
Why did the ATM go to the casino? It wanted to gamble on its own future.
Why did the ATM start a band? It heard it could make some serious dough!
What do you call an ATM that takes up acting? A cash performer.
Why did the thief try to rob an ATM? He heard it had a lot of cash and thought it was a “cash machine”!
Why did the ATM break up with its smartphone? It said they were no longer compatible!
Why did the ATM start wearing glasses? It couldn’t make any cents without them.
Why did the ATM become an artist? It loved to draw money out of people!
Why did the ATM break up with its significant other? They just didn’t have enough “currency” together!
Why did the man get a job at the ATM? He wanted to make a “withdrawal” from his boring career!
Why did the ATM become a personal trainer? It loved helping people shape up their finances.
Why did the ATM refuse to give money to the musician? It said he couldn’t carry a tune, so why would it give him cash?
Why did the ATM break up with its significant other? They had a very unbalanced relationship, with all the take and no give!
Why did the ATM feel unappreciated? It never got any interest in its relationships!
Why did the man bring a TV to the ATM? He wanted to watch his balance go up!
Why did the ATM join a comedy club? It had a knack for “punching” out jokes!
Why did the man get in trouble with the bank after using the ATM? He accidentally selected “Getaway Cash” instead of “Withdrawal”!
Why did the ATM start a band? It wanted to make some ATM-ospheric music!
Why did the ATM start playing the stock market? It wanted to see its cash flow in different directions!
Why don’t ATMs ever get married? They are afraid of making bad investments!
Why did the ATM feel lonely? It couldn’t find a soul mate!
Why did the man go to the ATM in his pajamas? Because he wanted to make a sleep deposit!
Why did the ATM become a comedian? It loved making cash laughs!
Why did the bank teller bring a ladder to work? To reach the ATM receipts!
Why did the ATM start playing romantic music? It heard some cash was about to withdraw a significant other.
Why did the man give the ATM a high-five? Because it gave him some cash on the spot!
Why did the ATM start a gardening club? It loved growing “interest” in plants!
What did the ATM say to the bank robber? “Don’t make any sudden withdrawals!”
Why do ATMs always look calm and composed? Because they know how to handle their “cents” of humor!
Why did the ATM break up with its calculator? They just couldn’t count on each other anymore!
Why don’t ATMs ever tell jokes? Because their sense of humor is always cashed out!
What did the ATM say to the customer who forgot their PIN? Sorry, I can’t help you, that’s un-PIN-acceptable!
What do you call an ATM that’s on a diet? A slender dispenser!
Why did the ATM start meditating? It wanted to achieve “financial” enlightenment.
What did the ATM say to the bank vault? “You’re such a safe place to keep all my feelings!”
Why did the bank manager bring a ladder to the ATM? He heard the money was on a high interest rate!
Why did the tomato turn red at the ATM? It saw the bank statement and was in a state of ketchup!
Why did the person get kicked out of the bank for trying to rob the ATM? They didn’t take his withdrawal seriously!
Why did the ATM go to therapy? It had trouble dealing with all the emotional withdrawals!
Why did the ATM become a stand-up comedian? It loved making people laugh until their wallets were empty!
Why did the ATM start a podcast? It wanted to discuss money matters and make some “cents.”
Why did the man bring a ladder to the ATM? He wanted to “reach new heights” in his banking experience!
Why do ATMs always have a good poker face? Because they never show their “tell”er!
Why did the ATM become a teacher? It loved counting and giving out lessons!
Why did the cat refuse to use the ATM? It thought it was a mouse trap!
Why did the ATM join a gym? It wanted to stay fit for all those “cardio” workouts!
Why did the man start talking to the ATM? He wanted to check if it accepted conversation as a form of deposit!
Why did the woman yell at the ATM? Because it told her she had insufficient funds, and she knew her funds were totally sufficient!
Why did the vampire avoid using the ATM? It didn’t want to withdraw any blood money!
Why did the ATM start playing hide and seek? It wanted to keep its location a secret code!
Why did the ATM get into a fight? It had a chip on its shoulder!
Why did the ATM break up with its girlfriend? It heard she was seeing another guy on the side.
Why did the squirrel refuse to use the ATM? It didn’t trust the acorn-counting technology!
Why did the man hug the ATM? He said it was the only way he could feel connected to his money!
Why did the ATM become an artist? It loved making withdrawals and sketching faces!
Why did the ATM go on a diet? It wanted to become a lean, mean, cash-dispensing machine!
Why did the scarecrow use the ATM? It needed some “corn”-venience cash!
Why did the ATM go to the art gallery? It wanted to withdraw some inspiration!
Why did the woman go to the ATM wearing a ski mask? She wanted to withdraw some cold, hard cash!
Why did the man get upset when the ATM gave him a receipt? Because it was a slap in the face!
What did the ATM say to the customer who couldn’t withdraw money? “Sorry, I’m just not dispensing today!”
Why did the ATM become a fortune teller? It could always predict how much money you’d withdraw.
Why did the man start talking to the ATM? Because he thought it was a voice-activated machine!
Why did the man get a job at the bank’s ATM department? He wanted to make a withdraw-alot of money!
Why did the ATM start laughing uncontrollably? It saw someone with a “balance” of $0.00!
Why did the ATM become a chef? It had a talent for “dishing” out cash!
Why did the ATM go on a diet? It wanted to slim down its “withdrawal fees”!
Why did the ATM get arrested? It was caught in a money-laundering scheme.
Why did the ATM start singing in public? It wanted to show off its note-worthy talents!
Why do ATMs make good comedians? They always have a lot of cash for punchlines!
Why did the man’s wife leave him after he became an ATM technician? Because he kept saying, “Insert your card into my slot!”
Why did the bank manager install an ATM in his bedroom? He wanted to make some “withdrawals” in the middle of the night!
Why did the ATM join a band? It loved being the one that always had the perfect change for a beat!
Why did the ATM break up with its partner? It wasn’t ready for a commitment!
What did the ATM say to the customer who complained about their transaction? Sorry, I’m just a cash machine, not a therapist!
Why did the basketball player go to the ATM? He wanted to shoot some free-throws!
Why did the comedian refuse to withdraw money from the ATM? He thought the machine was “punchline-less!”
Why did the ATM win an award? It was the best at dispensing “currency” advice.
Why did the ATM start working out? It wanted to build up its cash muscles and be financially fit!
What’s the difference between an ATM and a politician? One takes your money and the other promises to give it back!
Why did the bank robber go to the ATM? He wanted some cash on the go!
Why was the ATM always grumpy? It had a chip on its shoulder!
Why did the man take his girlfriend to the ATM? He wanted to show her what a true cash machine looks like!
Why did the ATM join a band? It had a talent for making some serious “cash” music.
Why was the ATM sad? It had a lot of low self-esteem notes in its dispenser!
Why did the ATM become a motivational speaker? It knew how to make people “bank” on their dreams!
Why did the ATM get an “Employee of the Month” award? It was always ready to cash in on its responsibilities!
Why did the ATM hire a personal trainer? It wanted to stay fit for all those transactions.
Why did the ATM join a rock band? It loved to make transactions that were always in-tune!
Why did the bank teller go to jail? He lost his balance at the ATM!
Why did the ATM get in trouble at school? It always gave out bad notes!
Why did the ATM break up with its partner? It felt they weren’t on the same balance sheet.
Why did the ATM start a cooking show? It wanted to show people how to make some dough!
Why did the ATM become a comedian? It always gave out funny money!
Why did the cow use the ATM? It wanted to check its balance in mooolah!
Why did the bank put a fence around the ATM? Because it was feeling a little too exposed!
Why did the woman become friends with the ATM? She thought it had a magnetic personality!
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the ATM? She heard the money was on the top floor!
What do you call an ATM that’s always grumpy? A cash dispenser with a chip on its shoulder!
Why did the bank teller go to jail? For stealing someone’s PIN number at the ATM!
Why did the ATM go to the gym? It wanted to exercise its money muscles!
What did the cash machine say to the customer who requested too much money? “Sorry, I’m feeling a little ATM-sick today!”
Why did the math book go to the ATM? It needed to calculate its funds!
What do you call a broken ATM? A cash machine with a heart of gold!
Why was the ATM embarrassed? It saw someone’s PIN number and forgot to look away!
Why did the ATM go broke? It didn’t know how to balance its account!
Why did the ATM break up with its significant other? It couldn’t handle the constant “withdrawal” symptoms!
Why did the bank hire an ATM? Because it knew how to make a lot of deposits!
Why did the ATM stop giving out cash? It was tired of being taken for granted!
Why did the squirrel try to use the ATM? It wanted to see if acorns could be converted into cashews!
Why did the chicken cross the road to the ATM? To withdraw some poultry cash!
Why did the math teacher go to the ATM? To calculate the interest on his savings!
Why did the bank install an ATM at the zoo? They wanted to attract more cheetahs!
Why did the ATM refuse to give money to the math teacher? It said the withdrawal was improper fractions!
Why did the ATM become a lifeguard? It was great at preventing overdrafts!
Why did the ATM start playing the lottery? It wanted to be the one handing out the cash for a change.
Why did the ATM go to therapy? It had too many withdrawals and not enough deposits!
Why did the ATM go to the dentist? It had a lot of gum stuck in its slot!
What do you call it when an ATM is being difficult? A cash block!
Why did the computer go to the bank? It needed an ATM upgrade to withdraw more gigabytes!
Why did the ATM take up gardening? It said it needed some extra green in its life!
Why did the ghost withdraw money from the ATM? Because it needed some boo-kkeeping!
Why did the bank robber choose the ATM as his target? He thought it had a lot of cash flow!
Why did the man stare at the ATM for hours? He wanted to check his balance!
What did the ATM say to the customer who asked for a loan? “Sorry, but I’m a little short right now!”
Why did the man bring a pillow to the ATM? Because he wanted to make a comfortable withdrawal!
Why did the ATM become a stand-up comedian? It had a knack for cracking people up with its cash jokes.
Why don’t ATMs ever get married? Because they are already in a committed relationship with your money!
Why did the ATM get a speeding ticket? It was caught distributing money too fast!
Why did the ATM go to a party? It wanted to withdraw from its usual routine!
Why did the robber go to the ATM? He wanted to make a quick withdrawal!
Why was the ATM always sad? It felt empty inside!
Why did the ATM become an actor? It loved playing the role of a money dispenser!

ATM Joke Generator

Creating the perfect ATM joke can sometimes make you feel like you’re running out of balance.

(Catch my drift?)

That’s where our FREE ATM Joke Generator comes to the rescue.

Engineered to integrate witty puns, bank humor, and amusing phrases, it creates jokes that are sure to deposit laughter.

Don’t let your humor become as outdated as a paper check.

Use our joke generator to whip up jokes that are as current and entertaining as your transactions.

FAQs About ATM Jokes

Why are ATM jokes so appealing?

ATM jokes are funny because they’re relatable.

Nearly everyone has had an experience with an ATM—from the long lines, to the disappointment when it’s out of service, to the relief when a transaction goes smoothly.

These shared experiences make ATM jokes universally humorous.

Can ATM jokes be used in social situations?

Yes, ATM jokes can be a great way to lighten the atmosphere and induce laughter in social situations.

Whether you’re at a party, a networking event, or just hanging out with friends, a well-timed ATM joke can break the ice and bring people together.

How can I create my own ATM jokes?

Think about common scenarios involving ATMs—withdrawals, deposits, balance enquiries, etc.
Consider the unique aspects of ATM usage such as PIN, receipt, card, cash, etc.
Reflect on the humorous situations you’ve experienced or observed at an ATM.
Modify a popular joke or phrase to fit the ATM theme.
Play with words and phrases related to ATMs and banking.

How can I easily remember ATM jokes?

To remember ATM jokes, you could tie them to specific moments or experiences involving ATMs. It could be the annoyance of a long line, the frustration of a machine malfunction, or the victory of a successful transaction.

Associating jokes with these scenarios can make them easier to remember.

How can I improve my ATM jokes?

To make your ATM jokes better, consider your audience’s shared experiences with ATMs, use unexpected twists, and play with banking terms and phrases.

Practice is key, so share your jokes often to see which ones get the most laughs.

How does the ATM Joke Generator work?

Our ATM Joke Generator is a fun tool that generates humorous ATM jokes based on your keywords.

Simply enter your chosen words related to ATMs or banking, and hit the Generate Jokes button.

You’ll get a list of funny ATM jokes to enjoy and share in no time.

Is the ATM Joke Generator free?

Yes, the ATM Joke Generator is completely free to use.

You can generate as many jokes as you want to keep your conversations entertaining and lively.

Feel free to flood your social media with funny ATM anecdotes and jokes.

Conclusion

ATM jokes are a clever way to make your everyday conversations a bit more fun, adding a touch of humor with every laugh.

From the short and snappy to the elaborate and laughter-evoking, there’s an ATM joke for every occasion.

So next time you’re withdrawing from an ATM, remember, there’s a joke to be found in every transaction, withdrawal, and balance check.

Keep dispensing the giggles and let the good times cash in.

After all, a day without laughter is like a day without ATMs—unthinkable and, frankly, a bit inconvenient.

Happy joking, everyone!

Bank Jokes That Will Make You Laugh All The Way to the ATM

Money Jokes to Deposit Straight into Your Funny Bone

Cashier Jokes That Check Out Perfectly

Credit Card Jokes for a Swipe of Humor

Withdrawal Jokes for Quick Humor On-the-Go