710 Bible Jokes That Turn Water into Laughter

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to delve into the divine world of Bible jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the most heavenly of the lot.

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the most hilarious Bible jokes.

From saintly puns to holy one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every chapter of life.

So, let’s embark on this journey into the joyful realm of Bible humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Bible Jokes

Bible jokes are an amusingly holy way to bring some light-hearted humor into anyone’s day.

They are not just about the scripture, but also the characters, stories, and lessons it encompasses.

From the well-known figures like Noah and Moses to popular tales of David and Goliath, the Bible offers endless material for jests.

Crafting the perfect Bible joke involves playing with words, twisting expectations, and sometimes a little irreverent humor.

It’s all about highlighting the unexpected and humorous side of situations described in the Bible, without losing respect for this sacred text.

Ready to part the Red Sea of seriousness?

Descend into laughter with these Bible jokes:

Why did Moses never make it as a stand-up comedian? He always got too much stage fright and kept parting the crowd!
Why did the Bible refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to deal with any apostles.
Why did Moses never go to the gym? Because he parted the Red Sea!
Why did Noah bring a pair of chickens on the ark? He wanted to have his own peck and ride.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, just like Joseph’s brothers dipped his coat in blood!
Why did Noah have to go on the ark in pairs? Because he couldn’t find a book called “Ark Building for Dummies.”
Why did the Pharisee bring a ladder to the Sermon on the Mount? He wanted to climb up to see Jesus’ higher teachings!
Why did the three wise men bring gifts to baby Jesus? Because they couldn’t find the receipt to return them!
Why did the Bible take a vacation? It needed some time to unwind and re-chapter!
Why did the Bible get a promotion at work? It had all the “Job” qualifications!
What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale!
Why did God create economists? To make weather forecasters look good!
What do you get if you cross a phone with the Bible? The book of Numbers!
What do you call an angel who can sing and play piano? A harpist-choir! Or a heavenly musician, according to the Bible!
Why did Moses have trouble sleeping? Because of the burning bush!
Why did the fig tree blush in the Bible? Because it saw Adam and Eve’s new clothing line!
What did Noah say to the animals when they boarded the ark? “Now I herd everything!”
Why did David bring a map to church? Because he wanted to find his way to the Psalms.
Why did the Bible get a promotion at work? Because it always went the extra “verse”!
Why did Adam name his wife Eve? Because she always brought him apples, and he thought, “Why not give her a name that rhymes?”
Why did Moses never go to the gym? Because he already had a great set of abs – the Ten Commandments!
Why did the Bible go to the gym? It wanted to be a spiritual workout.
Why did Delilah break up with Samson? She wanted a little off the top!
Why did Moses have such a great golf swing? Because he always had a perfect “Fore” commandment!
Why did the Pharisees never learn how to play baseball? Because they couldn’t handle the Sermon on the Mound!
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems, especially with its exes and lies.
Why did Moses take up gardening? Because he wanted to raise a staff!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear…or a Revelation preacher!
Why did Moses go to the gym? To do some heavy lifting, of course!
Why did Noah bring a ladder on the Ark? Because he heard the animals were going to have a barn-raising!
Why did the grape stop rolling down the hill? It heard the winepress and shouted, “Oh, no! Here comes the good stuff!”
Why couldn’t the gospel singer find his keys? Because he lost his soul!
Why did the Bible feel lonely? Because it had too many Psalms!
What did Jonah say when the whale swallowed him? “I guess I’m in a little bit of a jam!” (just like the Israelites in the desert with their manna).
Why did the math book go to church? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own, it needed some divine intervention!
Why did the grapevine start gossiping? Because it heard it through the Psalm.
Why did the pilgrims bring their Bible to the first Thanksgiving? So they could say grace before they “gobbled” up their meal!
Why did Adam go to the bank? Because he wanted to get his rib back!
Why did the Bible get a job at the bakery? Because it kneaded the dough!
Why did Moses cross the road? To part the traffic.
Why did Cain bring vegetables as an offering to God? Because Abel was the one who brought the lamb chops!
Why couldn’t the Bible find a date? Because it always got stood up at the pearly gates!
Why was Solomon the wisest man in the world? Because he knew how to solve all his problems in a Proverb-lem!
Why was Jonah a terrible stand-up comedian? Because his jokes always fell flat!
Why did the Bible take a nap? It needed to catch up on some Zzz-Leviticus!
Why was Jonah a successful businessman? Because he always followed the whale street!
Why was Moses the best basketball player? Because he always found the net.
Why did Adam and Eve never have a date night? Because they ate apples and never went pear-ty.
Why did the Bible go to the party? It heard it was lit-urgical!
Why did the fig tree go to the doctor? Because it was feeling figgy!
Why did the Bible go to school? To get “Psalm” education!
What do you call a person who sells their soul to get into heaven? A salesman!
Why did the Bible go to the doctor? It had a bad case of Revelations!
Why did Jonah feel like a failure? Because he couldn’t even keep a plant alive for three days!
What did Delilah say when Samson asked for a haircut? “I think we should split ends.”
Why did Moses never go to the gym? He didn’t want to part the Red Sea of sweat.
Why was the Bible so good at basketball? Because it had a lot of assists.
Why did the biblical character go to the chiropractor? Because he had a lot of “soul” in his spine!
Why did Adam and Eve never feel lonely? Because they were always in the Garden of Eden (eating apples)!
Why did Jonah always carry a worm with him? In case he needed to worm his way out of trouble.
Why did the donkey become a Bible scholar? He wanted to be a prophetable animal!
Why did the computer go to church? It had a lot of hard drive space to fill with the Holy Spirit!
How does the Bible laugh? Psalm-thing funny!
Why did Jonah get kicked out of the library? Because he kept bringing up the book of Whale-mitations!
Why did the Bible take up boxing? To be the heavyweight champion of the Word!
Why did Adam and Eve never play cards? Because they were always standing close to the forbidden apple!
Why did God create humans last? He needed a warm-up act!
What do you call a cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese! Just like the Promised Land was not yours, Moses!
Why didn’t Adam and Eve read the Bible? Because they already knew the ending: “In the end, the snake wins!”
Why did Noah become a beekeeper? Because he heard the ark was buzzing!
Why did the angel bring a feather to the Bible study? Because they were covering the Book of Psalms!
Why did the Pharisee bring a ladder to the sermon? Because he wanted to climb up the social ladder!
Why did the scarecrow bring the Bible to work? To find some “corny” verses!
Why did the biblical character always carry a ladder? Because he was a high priest!
Why did Adam and Eve never use the computer? Because they had Apple, but no Windows!
Why did Moses go to the gym? To do his exodus-ercise!
What do you call a group of musical angels? The “Heavenly Choir” just like the ones mentioned in the Bible!
Why did Adam and Eve never get a date? Because they lost their paradise match on Tinder!
Why did Adam and Eve never get a date? Because they ate all the dates in the Garden of Eden!
Why was Adam never lonely in the Garden of Eden? Because he always had a “rib-tickling” sense of humor!
Why did Moses have a hard time as a teacher? Because he had to deal with the Ten Command-mints!
Why did the shepherd bring a treadmill to the pasture? He wanted to get his sheep in “exodus” shape!
Why did Moses go to the gym? To part the Red Sea of people on the treadmill.
Why did Adam go to school? Because he already had his first-day-Eden!
Why did Moses break the tablets of the Ten Commandments? He couldn’t find the ‘undo’ button!
Why did the donkey in the Bible always get good grades? Because he was a wise ass!
Why did Moses never go to the gym? Because he had a fear of the burning bush!
Why did the Bible go to therapy? Because it had a lot of issues to work through.
Why did the Bible go to the comedy show? It wanted to see some good puns and parables!
Why did Adam and Eve never go on a date? They couldn’t find a decent place to eat, they were always getting “apple-bees”!
What kind of car did Moses drive? A Honda, because the Bible says he spoke with a loud voice!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear, just like the one in the Bible who lost all its strength!
Why did the angel get in trouble? Because it had a halo problem!
Why didn’t the computer read the Bible? It preferred its own “byte-sized” scriptures!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why don’t they play cards on Noah’s Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Bible study group? Because he had no body to go with!
Why did Moses part the Red Sea? Because he didn’t want to get his sandals wet!
What is the shortest book in the Bible? The Book of Amos, it only has one chapter!
Why did the donkey want to join the church choir? Because it had a lot of stable notes!
Why did King Solomon have 700 wives? Because he couldn’t find a woman who would trade him for just one of his wisdom teeth!
Why did Noah bring a ladder onto the ark? Because he heard the ship had a lot of decks.
Why did Noah take his cell phone on the ark? Because he heard there was a great reception on the “G” network!
What did the grape say when Jesus turned water into wine? “You’re crushing it, dude!”
Why did Jesus never play hide and seek? Because he always rose three days later!
Why did Moses have a hard time as a stand-up comedian? Every time he told a joke, the sea split!
Why did the Bible go to the hair salon? It needed a good trim for its Old and New Testa-locks!
Why did Jonah get kicked out of the library? Because he was caught checking out a book on whale hunting!
What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King Neptune!
Why did the pastor always carry a ladder to church? He wanted to reach new heights during his sermons…literally!
Why was Moses the best businessman in the Bible? Because he knew how to part the Red Sea!
Why did Moses go to the doctor? He had trouble parting his hair!
Why did the grapevine start reading the Bible? It heard it had a lot of “wine-ing” in it!

Short Bible Jokes

Short Bible jokes are like hidden parables—concise, insightful, and unexpectedly humorous.

They are perfect for injecting a touch of humor into Bible studies, Sunday school classes, or even your social media feed.

The charm of short Bible jokes is in their ability to humorously intertwine faith, wit, and a dash of creativity, sparking laughter in just a few words.

So, let’s turn the page and delve into the humorous side of scripture.

Here are short Bible jokes that deliver a heavenly dose of laughter in just a few words.

What did Noah say when his ark floated away? “This is unreal!”
Why did Moses have a tablet? To download the Ten Commandments!
What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A Roman Catholic!
Why did the Bible feel lonely? It had no Facebook!
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved!
Why did David like writing with a pen? It had good Psalms!
Why was Jonah such a bad comedian? He always bombed at sea!
What’s a librarian’s favorite book in the Bible? Check-us!
What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law!
Why didn’t the computer trust the Bible? It had too many viruses!
What do you call a singing Bible? A hymn book!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
Why was Moses the best gardener? He had the Ten Commandments!
Why don’t they serve coffee in church? Because it keeps everyone awake!
What do you call a Bible that tells jokes? A pun-ctuated version!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
What’s a coffee addict’s favorite Bible verse? “Hebrews!”
Why didn’t the ark have any lights? Because Noah used floodlights!
Why couldn’t Goliath play hide-and-seek? Because he was always spotted.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What did the Bible say to the big rock? You rock!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
How did Moses make his coffee? Hebrewed it!
What do you call a fish with a Bible? A holy mackerel!
Why did Jonah go to the bank? To withdraw some sand dollars!
What do you call a holy book that’s falling apart? Bible-lingus!
What’s the most musical book of the Bible? Psalms and guitars!
What’s the Bible’s favorite exercise? CrossFit!
Why did Noah build an ark? Because he couldn’t catch the flood!
Why do cows love reading the Bible? Because they find it amoosing!
Why did Moses have trouble sleeping? He kept having Pharaoh nightmares!
What is a Bible’s favorite type of music? Gospel, of course!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
Why did Samson go to therapy? He had serious hair issues!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
What’s a pirate’s favorite book? The Plunderer’s Guide, arrr and amen!

Bible Jokes One-Liners

Bible jokes one-liners are the epitome of humor condensed in a single sentence, touching on divine humor.

They’re the verbal equivalent of parting the Red Sea in one swift phrase – miraculous, neat, and remarkably striking.

Crafting a well-worded one-liner demands a blend of creativity, accuracy, and a profound appreciation for the art of scripture and humor.

The challenge is to infuse biblical references and punchlines into one tidy package, delivering a heavenly impact with minimum words.

Let’s hope these Bible one-liners have you rolling in the aisles with holy laughter:

Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. That’s a miracle, but ordering pizza for a party of 10 is a challenge.
I told my wife she should read the Bible more, she said, “What for? We have plenty of coasters.”
The Bible is my favorite book, but I’m still waiting for the movie adaptation.
I asked my pastor if he knew any jokes from the Bible. He said, “Sure, but they’re all Psalm ones.”
When Moses parted the Red Sea, did he ever consider installing a bridge?
If Eve sacrificed a rib for Adam, I think he owes her a lifetime of free massages.
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear. What do you call a bear without any teeth in the Bible? Just a bear.
Why did Moses have a smartphone? Because he downloaded the Ten Commandments!
What do you call a biblical rabbit? A hare-allelujah!
Job: The original contestant on “Extreme Makeover: Life Edition”
Why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the same day in the Bible Belt? They don’t want to overload the students with too much information in one day.
I asked my pastor for a Bible pun, but he just said, “I can’t put my Word on it.”
The Bible: The world’s oldest bestseller, still beating the Kardashians.
Why did Moses and his people wander in the desert for 40 years? Because even back then, men refused to ask for directions (as the Bible tells it).
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it (as mentioned in the Bible).
The Bible says “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” So I guess I should start sending myself chocolates and flowers.
Why did the Bible go to the gym? To get some holy fitness (and a good workout).
I have a job crushing grapes for communion wine. It’s a grape responsibility.
Why did the Bible bring a ladder to the theater? Because it heard the seats were in heaven.
I asked God for a bike, but I know that’s not how it works. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead.
I tried to listen to the Book of Genesis on tape, but it was just a bunch of Exodus-ting noise.
The Bible says not to covet thy neighbor’s wife. Unfortunately, it doesn’t say anything about their donkey.
The Bible: The only book where the villain is a talking snake.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah, because he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Why did Adam and Eve never go on a date? Because they had a lot of trouble finding a sitter (for Cain and Abel).
I tried to read the Bible backwards, but it just gave me the Revelation of confusion.
My favorite Bible verse is the one about Jesus turning water into wine—it’s like he invented happy hour.
I thought about starting a Bible-themed band, but I couldn’t find anyone willing to play the “holy” cowbell.
The Bible says “Ask and you shall receive.” I asked for a six-pack, but all I got was a dad bod.
Why did God create Adam before Eve? Because he didn’t want any advice on how to make Adam better (from Eve).
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
Why do they call it the Good Book? I haven’t found a single plot twist or character development yet!
The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself, but I guess that means I have to start loving myself more first!
Why did the Bible become an artist? Because it wanted to draw inspiration – just like the prophets in the Bible.
The Bible is a bestseller because it’s the original book with plot twists, zombies, and a talking snake.
I decided to join a Bible marathon, but ended up hitting the “Book of Numbers” wall pretty quickly.
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
Noah: The original animal hoarder.
I tried to start a Bible study group, but it was a Genesis failure.
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage, they never had to hear about their mother-in-law.
Why did the Christian chicken go to the Bible study? Because he wanted to understand the beak-attitudes.
I was going to tell a joke about the Bible, but I didn’t want to Exodus my welcome.
Noah must have been the best contractor in history, he built an entire ark with just a hammer and nails.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she’s been hugging me a lot lately.
Why did Noah bring a pair of rabbits on the ark? Because he wanted to multiply like rabbits!
Why didn’t the Bible get invited to the party? Because it had a reputation for turning water into wine (and things could get out of hand).
Why did Moses take the Ten Commandments up the mountain? Because he couldn’t find a good Wi-Fi signal down there.
Jesus: The ultimate fisherman, turning water into wine and bread into fish.
I tried to memorize the entire Bible, but then I realized it’s easier to just bookmark the important parts.
Why did Noah bring a pair of roller skates on the ark? Just in case he had to skate on thin ice!
I went to a biblical speed dating event, but it was a complete Exodus-ting experience.
I asked a friend to explain the Book of Revelation to me. He said, “Sorry, I can’t explain the inexplicable.”
Jesus turned water into wine, but I can’t even turn my laundry into a clean pile.
They say the Bible is the best-selling book of all time, but have they ever tried Fifty Shades of Grey?
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.” I said, “That’s exactly what I’m talking about!”
Adam and Eve were the first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.
Why did the computer go to church? It had a lot of faith in its motherboard.
What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in the Bible? An ex-testament.
The Bible clearly states that Jesus fed the multitudes, but there’s no mention of him doing the dishes afterward.
I asked the pastor if he could recommend a Bible app, and he said, “The scripture is not in the cloud, my child.”
The Bible: The original book with a sequel.
I asked Siri if she believed in God, and she replied, “I would if I had a soul.” Well, at least she’s honest.
Noah’s wife was the only woman who could say she was the first lady on the ark.
Moses: The original tablet user.
I asked the librarian if they had a book on the Bible, and they said, “Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy…”
Noah was the ultimate prepper. He built a giant ark, filled it with animals, and survived a global pandemic.
Why did Adam go on a diet? Because he couldn’t find Eve’s Apple.
The Bible says to love your neighbor, but it never said anything about liking them on Facebook.
What do you call a person who only reads the last book of the Bible? Revelationary!
I told my wife that I bought a Bible and she said, “Great! Now we have something to swear on when you forget to take out the trash.”
The Bible says “Ask and you shall receive,” but it never mentioned the fine print or delivery fees.
Why did Moses have such a great memory? Because he was the one who wrote down everything in the Bible!
The Bible says “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” Looks like us introverts are in for a real estate windfall.
What do you call a funny Bible? A comedy of Scriptures!
The Bible says that love is patient, but have you ever been stuck behind a couple praying over their food in a restaurant?
Why did the Bible go to therapy? It had a lot of unresolved issues (Old and New Testament).
I used to be a Bible salesman, but I lost faith in my product after no one bought the “Thou Shall Not Steal” edition.
If God is a DJ, then Jesus is a rapper, and the Holy Spirit is a backup dancer.
The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. Unless your neighbor eats your leftovers, then it’s war.
Why did the Bible bring a ladder to the library? Because it wanted to reach the book of Revelation – just like John in the Bible.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she gave me a big hug!
They say the Bible is a bestseller, but I haven’t seen it on any New York Times lists.
Who was the fastest runner in the Bible? Adam, because he was first in the human race.
The Bible says love your neighbor, but it doesn’t say anything about liking their TikToks.
David: The original rockstar, taking down giants with a slingshot.
Why did Adam go to the bank? Because he wanted to make a withdrawal from the rib branch.
I thought I had met my soulmate until I found out they were just quoting Bible verses to pick up chicks.
I tried to catch the Holy Spirit, but it was quicker than a biblical gazelle.
The Bible says to be fruitful and multiply, but I’m still trying to figure out the “be fruitful” part.
Why did the Bible become a comedian? Because it wanted to deliver some divine humor – just like Jesus in the Bible.
Why did Moses have trouble keeping track of the animals on the ark? Because he couldn’t find the Book of Hebrews!
Why did the Bible become a teacher? Because it wanted to spread the Word – just like the apostles in the Bible.
Why did Noah bring a pair of rabbits on the Ark? Because he heard they were good at multiplying!
Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fish and five loaves of bread, but I can’t even feed myself with a full fridge.
I asked my friend if he wanted to go to a Bible-themed restaurant. He said, “Nah, I’ve already had my fill of locusts and wild honey.”
Jesus may have turned water into wine, but I can turn a whole grocery cart into a single receipt.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic (in the Bible).
My favorite verse in the Bible is “Do not covet your neighbor’s wifi password.”
I used to be a Pharaoh in a past life, but now I’m just Tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut!
Samson: The first guy to bring down the house…literally.
Why did the Bible enjoy playing cards? It always had a royal flush with its King James version!
I was going to tell you a Bible joke, but I Noah guy who would appreciate it.
I told my friend I was studying the Bible and he said, “Well, it’s about time you learned how to use Google.”
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
The reason the Bible is so thick is because it has so many stories of men who refused to ask for directions.
Why did the Bible go to the gym? It wanted to get some spiritual exercise!
If the Bible were written today, the seven deadly sins would probably include slow Wi-Fi.
I told my wife I wanted a Bible for my birthday, but she said, “Sorry, you’ll have to wait for the next installment.”
What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!” (according to the Bible).
I thought about starting a Bible study group, but then I remembered I can’t even find the remote control half the time.
Jesus may have walked on water, but he definitely wouldn’t pass a sobriety test.
I accidentally mistook my Bible for a coloring book and now I have a very vibrant interpretation of the Ten Commandments.
The Bible says to love your neighbor, but it doesn’t say you have to like them.
I tried to turn water into wine, but all I got was a very confused grape.
Why did the Bible go on a diet? Because it wanted to shed some Psalms – just like David in the Bible.
I tried to tell a Bible joke, but everyone just gave me a “stern” look and said, “Don’t take the Lord’s name in vein.”
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, but she keeps yelling “Adam and Eve it!”
Noah was the first person to download things from the cloud.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
What did the grape say when Jesus turned water into wine? “You’ve gotta be grapeful for that!” (a biblical twist).
How do we know that cars existed in biblical times? Because the disciples were all in one Accord.
Why was Cain mad at his brother? Because he was Abel to get a better offering (as written in the Bible).
My pastor said I should start reading the Bible more. I guess I’ll have to start by finding where I left off… Genesis? Exodus? Leviticus? Oh wait, I’ve never started.
I’ve been trying to find the “Book of Hilarious Jokes” in the Bible, but I guess it’s in the levity-cus.
Noah must have been the first person to download files from the cloud.
What do you get if you cross a Bible with a computer? A lot of saved memory.
Why did the Bible get a speeding ticket? It was caught going over the Ten Commandments.
I tried to join a Bible study group, but they said they were full up and couldn’t handle any more apostles.
I used to be a terrible sinner, but then I found a new religion – I joined a cult. Now I’m just a terrible sinner with a catchy name.
How do we know that Jesus liked Mexican food? Because he talked about his Father’s guac-amole.
Why did the Bible go to the gym? It wanted to get into better shape—spiritually speaking.
Why did the Bible go to therapy? Because it had too many issues – just like the people in the Bible.
Why did the Bible join a gym? Because it wanted to be buff – just like Samson in the Bible.
Noah had a floating zoo, but he still couldn’t find a parking spot.
Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. That’s a miracle, but still not enough to feed my family at Thanksgiving.
Why did the Bible feel comfortable in any situation? Because it was always in the good book!
Jesus may have turned water into wine, but I can turn a whole pizza into crumbs in under five minutes.
I asked God for a bike, but I know He doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead.
My friend keeps trying to convince me that he’s a biblical prophet, but I think he’s just a lot of Job interviews.
The Bible is the only book where the hero dies for the villain.
What’s the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop them a line – just like Jonah in the Bible.
My doctor told me to read the Bible every day for good health. I guess that means I’m going to live forever—I keep falling asleep after two pages.
What do you get if you cross a Bible with a computer? Holy software.
If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, and the Bible is the ultimate playlist.
David was great at slaying giants, but his dance moves were a little questionable.
Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish, or as the Kardashians call it, a light snack.
I asked my dog if he wanted to hear a Bible story. He said, “Sure, as long as it’s not about Noah and the cats.”
What is the most used computer command in the Bible? “Let there be light!” (Ctrl+L).
Why was Jesus a great gardener? Because he had a lot of experience resurrecting plants (from the dead).
Did you hear about the computer programmer who found a bug in the Bible? Turns out it was just a typo—’thou shalt commit adultery’ was meant to be ‘thou shalt not.’.
What do you call a story about a young boy and a talking donkey? A tale of Asses and Prophets.
Why was Moses the most skilled tennis player in the Bible? Because he served with a lot of aces (commandments).
I told my friend I couldn’t find my Bible, and he said, “Well, it’s not like it’s the End of the Word!”
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because he knew there was something fishy about it (like in the Bible).
Why did Adam and Eve never use the internet? They already had everything they needed in the Apple.
I saw a man reading the Bible while balancing on one foot. I guess he was trying to find his sole mate.
Why did the Bible bring a map to the party? It wanted to make sure it never lost its way!
I wanted to get into the Bible business, but I couldn’t find any open chapters.
Why did the Bible go to therapy? It had some unresolved Genesis issues.
Why did Adam and Eve never get a date? Because they were put off by the apple’s “forbidden fruit” label!
The Bible says “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” But I can’t help but judge people who use “lol” in real-life conversations.
Why did Adam and Eve never go on a boat ride? Because they already knew they wouldn’t be Abel!
If Adam and Eve were the first people on Earth, then who did their kids marry? The Bible—keeping it in the family since the beginning.
I tried to look up the Bible on my e-reader, but it only had the New Testament. It seems like Jesus got the prime subscription.
Why did Moses have trouble sleeping? He had too many tablets to take!

Bible Dad Jokes

Bible dad jokes combine faith-based humor with those classic dad puns we all know and love.

They’re the kind of jokes that will make you laugh, groan, and maybe even learn a little bit about the Good Book at the same time.

Perfect for Sunday School icebreakers, family dinners, or simply bringing a little light-hearted humor into your day, these jokes are guaranteed to create some holy hilarity.

So, prepare to laugh and groan in equal measure, because here comes a collection of Bible dad jokes that are truly divine:

Why did the Bible take a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to make “holy toast”!
Why was Moses the best basketball player? Because he knew how to part the defense!
Why did Adam call his wife Eve? Because she never let him forget that she was the first in the human race!
Why couldn’t the computer take notes during the Bible study? Because it kept losing its bookmarks!
Why did the donkey in the Bible make a good secretary? Because he was good at taking dictation from Moses!
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open! Just like Noah left the Ark’s windows open!
Why did the Bible enjoy playing hide-and-seek? Because it always had “Revelations” to share when found!
Why didn’t the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees, just like the Bible’s wisdom!
Why did Adam go on a diet? Because he ate too many apples, and the doctor said, “Abel” to cut back!
Why did the scarecrow win a Bible quiz? Because he was outstanding in his “field” of knowledge!
Why did the Bible become a comedian? It wanted to bring “good puns” to everyone’s lives!
Why couldn’t the computer take a screenshot of the Bible? Because it had a bad commandment!
Why did the Bible take a vacation? It needed some R&R (restoration and redemption)!
Why did the skeleton bring a Bible to the party? Because he had no body to go with him!
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice, just like Samson in the Bible!
Why did Noah become a successful farmer? Because he always knew how to ark his crops!
Why did the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years? They refused to ask for directions, just like every dad on vacation!
Why did the angel get detention? It was caught “haloing” around during class, just like a mischievous little cherub!
Why did the Bible get a ticket? Because it left its Psalms in the wrong zone!
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the ark? Because they were using fowl language!
Why did Noah have to punish his sons on the Ark? They were all a little too “rowdy”!
Why was Jesus a great chef? Because he always turned water into wine!
Why did the cookie go to Bible study? Because it wanted to become a wiser cracker.
Why did Jonah go to school? Because he wanted to improve his “whale” literacy!
What did Noah say to his family when they asked where all the animals were? “They’re in da ark!”
Why was Jesus a great basketball player? Because he always had a perfect “savior” percentage!
Why did the Bible always win in a race? It had a strong “faith” in its abilities!
What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
Why was Jonah such a bad comedian? Because his jokes always fell flat, just like he did in the belly of the whale!
Why did Adam go to school? Because he already knew the “Almighty”!
Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the Bible refuse to play cards? Because it was afraid of the King of Clubs!
Why was Adam the best gardener in history? Because he never lost his “paradise!”
What do you call a Bible that’s on a diet? A “light” read!
Why was King Solomon the richest man in the world? Because he had a lot of prophets!
Why did Jesus make a great tennis player? Because he always knew how to serve and volley the truth!
Why couldn’t the computer take the Bible to church? Because it had too many viruses.
Why did the computer go to church? Because it had a lot of data to pray for!
Why did the grape stop rolling? Because it ran out of wine, just like Jesus turned water into wine!
Why was the math teacher so interested in the Bible? Because he loved finding the missing “X” in the scriptures!
Why did the Bible feel sleepy? Because it stayed up all night studying for the Book of Revelations!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him, just like the dry bones in Ezekiel’s vision!
Why do bees love the Bible? Because they always find “buzz” words in it!
Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? He was looking for the perfect Wi-Fi signal!
Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
Why did Noah start a gardening business? Because he had a green thumb in the Bible!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, unlike the Bible which has all the answers!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired, just like Moses after receiving the Ten Commandments!
What do you call someone who can’t stop telling Bible jokes? A pun-dit!
Why did the Bible feel lonely? Because it didn’t have any scripture friends to hang out with!
Why did Samson always bring a donkey with him to the library? Because he wanted to check out a lot of books!
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open all night, just like Jonah in the belly of the whale!
Why did the Bible become a teacher? Because it had a knack for preaching to the choir!
Why did Moses go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little Exodus-ted.
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why did Moses never get lost in the desert? Because he had the ultimate GPS – God’s Positioning System!
Why did the donkey get into heaven? Because it had a biblical ass-ent!
Why did the fig tree give up dating? Because it couldn’t find anyone it was really figs-cited about!
Why did Samson carry a donkey around? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the Bible always get invited to parties? Because it could turn water into wine, and who doesn’t love a good party trick?
Why did the computer keep freezing during the church service? Because it had a bad connection to the “Eternal Wi-Fi!”
Why did Moses have a hard time as a baby? Because every time he sneezed, the Pharaoh said, “Bless you!”
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Why did the shepherd bring a ladder to the church? Because he wanted to raise the “baa” for the sermon!
Why did the Bible take a nap? Because it was very well read!
Why did Adam eat the forbidden fruit? Because he didn’t have a date!
Why did the Bible always win at poker? Because it had the best “pair of prophets” up its sleeve!
Why was Solomon the wisest man in the Bible? Because he knew how to get ahead, just like the Israelites crossing the Red Sea!
Why did the sun always shine so brightly? Because it never attended a day of school, just like Joshua made the sun stand still!
Why don’t they serve seafood at church potlucks? Because there were already plenty of fish and loaves in the Bible!
Why did Adam eat the apple? Because he couldn’t resist the “pair” pressure!
Why did the Bible go to the gym? It wanted to get stronger in spirit and body!
Why did the Bible start a bakery? Because it wanted to “rise” to the occasion!
Why did Noah bring a ladder on the ark? Because he heard the fish were rising in the Bible.
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems, especially when it came to multiplying loaves and fishes!
Why was the ocean so salty? Because the land never waved back, just like the parting of the Red Sea!
Why did Noah bring a pair of cows on the ark? Because he wanted to have prime rib for dinner, of course!
Why did the Bible bring a map to the party? Because it heard there would be a lot of Psalm trees there!
Why did Adam and Eve never go on a date? Because they had a falling out over the apple!
Why did Moses never get a promotion? Because he always had a hard time finding the right staff!
Why did the Bible take a nap? Because it had a lot on its pages!
Why did Adam and Eve never go on a date? Because they already had the perfect match made in Eden!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing, just like David saw Goliath in the Bible!
Why did the Bible take a vacation? To relax and “revelation”!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all of the fans left!
Why did the pastor bring a ladder to church? Because he wanted to reach new heights during the sermon on the Mount!
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
Why did the fig tree never win any awards? Because it always came in “second Adam!”
Why did the thief never steal from the church? Because he knew the collection plate was “offering” he couldn’t refuse!
Why did the Bible start a garden? Because it wanted to see “Revelations” in the flowers!
Why was the broom always so religious? Because it always went to church, just like the sweeping of the temple in the Bible!
Why did Noah bring a pair of extra pants on the ark? Because he expected a pair of undies!
Why did Jesus prefer to travel by boat? Because he was a true water-walker, not a road-runner!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like Noah from the Bible!
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems… just like the Israelites in the wilderness!
Why did the Bible have a hard time making friends? Because it was always judging others by their “covers”!
Why did the Bible start a band? It wanted to spread the good news through “hymn-tastic” music!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, just like Adam and Eve realized they were naked in the Garden of Eden!
Why did the teacher in the Bible never get in trouble? Because she always kept her pupils under control!
Why did Samson never go to the gym? Because he always found his strength in a “Lion” workout!
Why did the Bible break up with the dictionary? Because it found out it already had all the definitions it needed, especially for “Genesis”!
Why did Noah bring a ladder on the ark? Because he heard the rain was going to be twelve feet deep!
Why was Joseph a good accountant? Because he could always count on his dreams!
Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? Because it really rocked his world!
Why did the fig tree get in trouble? Because it couldn’t “leaf” well enough alone!
Why did the computer go to church? Because it had a lot of bugs that needed praying mantis!
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems, but it couldn’t count on the Bible to solve them!
Why was Moses the best basketball player? Because he was always dribbling on the court, just like he did with the Red Sea!
Why did the Bible refuse to play cards? Because it knew “Genesis” always wins!
Why did the Bible wear glasses? It wanted to “focus” on spreading the word clearly!
Why did the Bible go to the gym? It wanted to get in good “Proverbs” shape!
Why did the scarecrow become a religious scholar? Because he was outstanding in his field of study, especially when it came to the book of Hosea!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! And also because it was reading the Book of Ketchup!
Why didn’t the ark have any computers? Because it only had Noah’s ark!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Why was Moses the most skilled gardener in the Bible? Because he had the burning bush!
Why did the teacher use the Bible to teach math? It had the best “Book of Numbers”!
Why didn’t the computer go to heaven? Because it had too many bugs, just like the plagues of Egypt!
Why did the math book go to church? It wanted to solve some sin-cosine problems!
Why did the skeleton go to Bible study? Because he had a bone to pick with the pastor.
Why was Jonah such a successful comedian? Because he always knew how to make a whale of a joke!
Why did the grape stop studying the Bible? Because he had already heard it through the vine!
Why did the shepherd bring a pillow to the nativity scene? Because he wanted to catch some Z’s, just like the shepherds who were visited by the angels!
Why did the Bible go to the gym? To get stronger “in the word!”
Why did Noah use the Bible as a manual when building the Ark? Because it was full of “pro-floats”!
Why did the Bible refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because the Word of God is always revealed!
Why did the grapevine have a hard time focusing? It kept getting caught up in the “vines” of the Bible!
Why don’t they serve coffee in the Bible? Because the disciples drank only tea – they had proper tea!
Why did Adam go to school in the desert? Because he wanted to be a smartie like the Pharaohs!
Why was the math teacher always calm? Because she knew her angles, just like Jesus in the Bible!
What kind of car did Jesus drive? A “Christ-ler”!
Why was Adam the best gardener in the world? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
Why was Goliath such a bad basketball player? Because he always got called for goaltending!
Why did the fig tree break up with the apple tree? It just wasn’t their season… they were not meant to be “fruitful” together!

Bible Jokes for Kids

Bible jokes for kids are the delightful doves of the joke world—pure, light-hearted, and always a hit with the young believers.

These jokes encourage kids to engage with scripture in a fun and memorable way, nurturing their spiritual growth while tickling their funny bone.

They develop an understanding of the Bible’s characters and stories, weaving laughter into learning.

Plus, Bible jokes for kids have the added benefit of promoting biblical literacy, transforming the stories they hear in Sunday school into a source of joy and amusement.

Ready for some godly giggles?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling in the chapel:

What is the best way to speak to a giant in the Bible? Long distance!
What kind of car did the disciples drive? A Honda, because in the Bible it says, “The disciples were all in one Accord!”
Why did Moses get lost in the desert? Because he had a big desert map but it only had sand dunes on it!
What do you call a lazy person in the Bible? Lot!
What kind of snacks did Adam and Eve have in the Garden of Eden? Apple turnovers!
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because it kept giving him the cold shoulder!
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because it kept giving him trouble – first he was swallowed by a whale, then he was fish-napped!
Why was Jonah a successful runner? Because he could run from one end of the boat to the other in no time!
Why did Adam and Eve never go on a spaceship? They already had a one-way ticket out of Eden!
What do you get if you cross a Bible story with a detective? Adam and Eve-stigation!
Why was Adam never lonely in the garden of Eden? Because he always had someone to talk to… his “A’dam” apple!
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because it kept telling him a whale of a tale!
Why was Goliath so good at math? Because he always knew how to “count” on his fingers!
What do you call a funny story in the Bible? A hilarious script-“hers”!
Why did Noah bring a ladder onto the ark? Because he wanted to reach the “high” seas!
Why was Moses the best basketball player? Because he was the only one who could part the Red Sea!
What did Moses say to the computer? “Let my people go Google!”
Why did Jonah go to the bank? He wanted to get his whale savings!
What do you call two spiders in the Bible? A pair of Apostles!
What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Floodlights!
Why did the scarecrow in the Bible never had a brain? Because he was straw-dinary!
Why did Moses use a tablet in the desert? Because he couldn’t find a good Wi-Fi signal!
What is a shark’s favorite Bible story? Jonah and the Whale!
Why did the bread go to church? It wanted to be a good roll model!
What do you call it when a cow reads the Bible? Holy cow!
Why did the shepherd bring a ladder to the pasture? Because he wanted to “count” all the sheep properly!
How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? Because he had a lot of back trouble!
Why did Moses take his shoes off before entering the tent? Because he didn’t want to have any sole survivors!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear, just like Samson after Delilah got done with him!
Why did the Bible go to school? To learn how to read between the lions!
Why did the sun go to church? Because it’s a “Son”day!
Why did the Pharisee bring a ladder to the synagogue? Because he wanted to be a high priest!
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Why did the apostle go fishing? Because he heard Jesus was feeding the multitude!
Why didn’t Samson go to the barber? Because he wanted to keep his hair-raising strength!
Why did the cow go to church? Because it wanted to hear the “moo-sic”!
Why did Noah build an ark? Because his neighbors were giving him a shipwreck!
Why did Jonah go to the doctor? Because he swallowed the wrong kind of whale!
What do you call a can that can’t breathe? A vacuum!
What’s a lion’s favorite book in the Bible? Daniel, because it has a lot of meaty stories!
Why was Goliath so bad at math? Because he always got his answers by using his head!
Why did Moses take a goat up the mountain? Because he wanted to have a “kid”-friendly Bible study!
What did Noah say when he was asked if he could build an ark? “Sure, I Noah guy!”
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! (Hint: The Bible mentions the Garden of Eden!).
Why did the baker go to Bible study? Because he kneaded the dough!
Why didn’t Samson go to the carnival? He couldn’t find a single “strong man” competition!
Why couldn’t Samson play cards? Because he always brought the house down!
Why was Jonah the best student in the Bible? Because he always swallowed everything the teacher said!
Why did Adam go to school? Because he wanted to be a wise guy!
Why did Moses have trouble as a baby? Because he was a little Hebrew!
Why didn’t anyone laugh at Jonah’s jokes on the ark? Because he was inside the whale of a crowd!
Why did the Bible go to the gym? To get a little exorcise.
Why was Jonah a great baseball player? Because he knew how to catch a whale!
Why was Goliath so bad at playing cards? Because he was always throwing in his hand!
Why did the whale swallow Jonah? Because it said he tasted like a “great prophet meal”!
Why did the donkey get a promotion in the Bible? Because it was such a “stable” employee!
Why did the Bible take a nap? It was resting on the “Book of Psleeps”!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
Why did Noah bring a ladder on the ark? Because he wanted to reach the highest level of faith!
What do you call two ants who lived in the Ark? Ant-elopes!
Why did Moses never go on a diet? Because he couldn’t part with his favorite food, the “man-a”!
Why did Noah become a farmer? Because he heard that God’s word was going to spread like wildflowers!
What is a math teacher’s favorite Bible verse? Numbers 14:17 – “And now, I will do the math!”.
Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt? Because his career was in ruins!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
What’s the best way to communicate with God? Through prayer-planes!
What do you get if you cross a Bible with a snowman? Frost scripture!
Why was Goliath so good at hide and seek? Because he was always a head above the competition!
What did Moses say to the Pharaoh when the frogs invaded? “We need to leapfrog this problem!”
What do you call someone who can’t stop reading the Bible? A Bible addict-ict-ict!
What do you call someone who makes a lot of bread in the Bible? A flour-ist!
Why did Moses have trouble making coffee? Because he broke the Hebrews!
Why did Noah become a sailor? Because he built the ark!
What was the biggest joke in the Bible? When Pharaoh told Moses to “Let my people go!”
Why did the Bible go to school? To get a little bit of scripture!
What do you call a camel that loves to sing hymns? A hum-bell!
What is a lion’s favorite Bible story? Daniel in the lion’s den!
Why did the shepherd bring a pillow to the nativity scene? Because the angel said, “Fear not!”
Why did Moses have a hard time as a teacher? Because the children of Israel weren’t very good at spelling!
Why do angels always fly? Because they take themselves lightly! (Hint: Angels are mentioned in the Bible!).
Why did the spider go to church? Because it heard there was a web designer there!
Why was Jonah such a good student? He always studied in the belly of the whale.
Why did Adam never go on a diet? Because he already had a big “apple”tite!
Why did the grape stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice!
Why did Noah build an ark? Because he wanted to go on a cruise!
Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? Because it came out of the blue!
Why was Jonah a good runner? Because he had a whale of a time!
Why did Adam and Eve never go on a boat ride? Because they already had a pair of “sea”ts in the garden!
Why did the bread go to Bible study? To rise to the occasion!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite, just like Lot’s wife!
How do we know that Adam was a great gardener? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the baby cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy!
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine, just like in the Bible!
Why was the broom running late? It overswept!
What is a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer!
Why did Adam and Eve never eat apples? Because they couldn’t find the Core!
What did Adam say to his wife when they were being kicked out of the garden? “I guess we’re out of Eden now!”
What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? Ruth-less!
Why did Moses go to the doctor? Because he had a lot of trouble with his tablets!
Why did Noah bring a ladder on the ark? So he could do a little “deck”-oration!
Why did the sun go to Bible study? To get brighter and shine more light!
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson, he brought the house down!
Why didn’t anyone believe Samson when he said there was a lion in his garden? Because they thought he was just lion!
Why was Solomon the best detective in the Bible? Because he had the most wisecracks!
Why did the ants march two by two into the ark? Because they came in “couples”!
Why did Adam go to school? Because he wanted to be smarter than the average bear!
Why was Jonah a great soccer player? Because he always knew how to “dive” into the game!
What do you call two snakes who wrote a book together? “Hiss-torians”!
Why did Moses have a hard time as a baby? Because he wasn’t allowed to cry over spilled milk!
Why did the Bible bring a map to school? So it could “study” geography in the Old and New Testament!
Why did the Bible get a ticket? Because it had too many “ex-sin’s”!
Why did Moses get a ticket at Mount Sinai? Because he parked his camel in a “No Parking” zone!
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
Why did the angel go to the doctor? Because he had a halo around him!
Why did Moses have a hard time as a baseball player? Every time he hit the ball, he had to part the outfield!

Bible Jokes for Adults

Who said the bible doesn’t have a sense of humor?

Bible jokes for adults offer a clever spin on biblical stories and characters, marrying theological wit with a hint of irreverence.

Like a thoughtfully composed sermon, these jokes interweave elements of humor, wisdom, and a sprinkle of audacity for a truly divine comedy.

These jokes are ideal for church socials, bible study groups, or even to bring some levity into a heavy theological discussion.

Here are some Bible jokes that are perfectly crafted for adults:

Why was Jonah the worst dinner guest? He arrived in a wh-ALE!
Why did the Bible have great fashion sense? It knew how to accessorize with its scripture-ture!
Why did the Bible go to therapy? It had issues with self-acceptance – it couldn’t stop judging its own cover!
Why did the computer go to Bible study? It wanted to learn how to make a “holy connection”!
Why was Goliath such a bad basketball player? He was always getting stoned!
What did Adam say to his wife the day before Valentine’s Day? “I don’t know what to get you, Eve. You already have everything!”
Why did the Pharisee bring a ladder to the sermon? He wanted to reach a higher level of understanding!
Why did the Bible take up acting? It wanted to be in the Old and New Testaments!
Why was the Bible such a good comedian? It always had great delivery!
Why did the Bible refuse to tell secrets? Because it was sworn to the highest level of confi-dense!
Why did the Bible become a chef? It knew all the best “holy” recipes!
Why did the angel bring a ladder to heaven? Because the stairway was out of order!
Why did the disciple Peter always deny Jesus? He didn’t want to be called a “chicken”!
Why did Noah build an ark? Because he couldn’t find a good carpenter!
Why did Jesus and his disciples never get invited to parties? Because they always turned water into wine!
What do you call it when Adam takes a nap? The first “Zzzz” of creation!
Why did Noah have to go on the Ark with his family? Because he couldn’t find a babysitter!
Why did Jonah go to the beach? Because he wanted to catch some rays!
Why did Moses never go to the gym? He couldn’t find anywhere to do his reps!
Why did the Bible bring an umbrella to the party? It heard there was going to be a lot of “Son-shine”!
How do we know Adam was a fast runner? Because he was the first in the human race!
Why didn’t Adam and Eve have a date? Because they had no chemistry!
Why did the librarian recommend the Bible to everyone? Because it was a best-seller!
Why did Adam and Eve never read the Bible? They lost the first book!
Why did the angel get a ticket? He was caught speeding down the heaven’s gates!
Why did the fig tree get in trouble? It didn’t produce any fruit, it was just a figment of everyone’s imagination!
Why did the pastor bring a ladder to church? He wanted to preach a higher message!
Why did Jonah refuse to eat seafood? He didn’t want to be a “fisher of men” anymore!
Why did Adam and Eve never play cards together? Because they were always standing on their own “deck”!
Why did the tomato turn red when it read the Bible? Because it saw the forbidden fruit!
Why did the fig tree in the Bible get mad at Jesus? He was always being a fig-ment of its imagination!
Why did the Bible need glasses? It couldn’t see the point of some stories!
Why don’t they serve ice cream in the Garden of Eden? Because Adam and Eve had a sundae!
Why did Jesus use a donkey to enter Jerusalem? Because he wanted to ride into town on “Assurance”!
Why was Adam a great gardener? He was outstanding at “raising Cain”!
What do you call someone who doesn’t fart in church? A holy roller!
Why did Moses and the Israelites wander the desert for 40 years? Someone dropped a Bible and they spent ages looking for “Exodus”!
Why did Moses never go to the gym? Because he found the tablets of the Ten Commandments so heavy!
Why did the grapevine start reading the Bible? Because it heard it was full of wine and miracles!
Why was Jonah a terrible stand-up comedian? Because he always bombed and ended up in the belly of a whale!
What do you call a dog that can perform miracles? A “Labracadabrador”!
Why did the Bible feel outdated? It couldn’t keep up with all the new ‘versions’ of relationships!
Why was Adam a great basketball player? Because he never passed the apple!
Why did Adam and Eve never have a date night? They had a real “Adam’s apple” issue!
Why didn’t Noah go fishing on the Ark? He only had two worms!
Why did the Pharisee join a gym? He wanted to be a “prayer” bodybuilder!
Why did the Bible take up kickboxing? It wanted to be a holy fighter!
What do you call a comedian who only tells jokes from the Bible? A “holy” comedian!
Why did the Bible start going to the gym? It wanted to get ripped!
Why did the Bible take up boxing? Because it always had a good left hook!
Why did the Bible refuse to compete in a singing competition? It didn’t want to show off its “holy notes”!
How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? They were really put out!
Why did the Bible become a stand-up comedian? Because it had a knack for delivering perfect punchlines – no miracles needed!
Why did the donkey sit on the Bible? It was trying to find a new testament!
Why was the Bible cold? It left it open in the drafty Book of Revelation!
Why did Jonah refuse to go to medical school? He didn’t want to be a whale doctor!
Why did Adam and Eve never use credit cards? Because they got kicked out of the Garden of Eden for taking a bite out of the Apple!
What kind of tea do the angels drink? Hea-venly!
Why did the Pharisee become a farmer? He wanted to sow some seeds of righteousness!
What animal could Noah not trust? Cheetah!
Why did Adam never get a job in the technology industry? Because he lost his Apple in the Garden of Eden!
Why was Jesus a terrible comedian? He always got nailed on his punchlines!
Why did Noah bring a pair of animals on the ark? Because he couldn’t find any unicorns!
Why did the Bible feel so old? Because it had a lot of TESTaments!
Why did Moses never get a refund on his shoes? He always parted with his money!
Why did Noah use a cell phone on the Ark? Because he had to make a “call” every time he spotted land!
Why don’t they serve pizza at church gatherings? Because they can’t find the book of “Leviticus”!
Why did the Bible get a promotion? It always had the best chapters!
Why was the Bible always tired? Because it was working miracles all day!
Why did God create man before woman? Because he didn’t want any advice on how to do it!
What did Jonah say after he was swallowed by the whale? “Excuse me, do you mind not snacking while I’m here?”
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? It said it wasn’t fully committed to him!
Why did the Bible refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to turn water into wine again!
Why did Moses make such a great baseball player? Because he always knew how to part the outfield!
Why did the fig tree have such good manners? It was well-fig-ured!
Why did Moses and the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years? Someone dropped a shilling and they’re still looking for it!
Why did Moses and the Israelites wander the desert for 40 years? Somebody dropped the map!
What did the grape say when Jesus turned water into wine? “Everybody just wine-d down!”
Why did the Bible become a motivational speaker? It wanted to inspire people to turn their lives’ pages!
Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like King David!
Why did Adam never get a date? He always had a “rib” in his side!
Why didn’t the computer get into heaven? It had too many “virus” sins!
What did Adam say to his wife on their anniversary? “I love you a whole rib more!”
Why did Jonah refuse to play cards on the Ark? Because he was afraid of being swallowed by a big fish!
Why did the Bible feel tired? Because it’s full of “Psalms”!
Why was the Bible such a good singer? It always had Psalms to hit those high notes!
Why couldn’t Cain please God with his offering? He just wasn’t Abel!
What is the best way to communicate with God? Through prayer, or a good Wi-Fi connection!
Why did Moses and the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years? They realized they left the GPS back in Egypt!
Why did the Bible start going to the gym? It wanted to be a well-toned scripture!
Why was Noah the best entrepreneur? He floated his entire business during the flood!
Why did Abraham serve lamb at his barbeque? Because it was “a ram in the bush” kind of day!
Why don’t they serve seafood at the Last Supper? Because Jesus said, “Suffer the little fishes to come unto me!”
How did the rich man in the Bible spend his time? He spent all his days counting his blessings… and his money!
Why did Adam and Eve never have a date night? Because they ate themselves out of house and garden!
Why did Jesus make such a great chef? Because he could turn water into wine and fish into a feast!
Why did God create man before woman? Because every masterpiece needs a rough draft!
Why did the Pharisee go to therapy? He had a Jesus complex!
Why did Moses never go fishing? Because he couldn’t find the worms!
Why did the book of Job never go to college? It couldn’t pass the tests!
Why did Delilah break up with Samson? He let his hair down too many times!
What do you get if you cross the Bible with a computer? Hallelujah, it’s a Word Processor!
Why did the Bible get a ticket? It was caught in a ‘no parking’ verse!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to church? He didn’t have the guts!
What’s the best way to study the Bible? Pray it off as a bad habit!
Why did Moses never get a speeding ticket? Because he had his own tablets!
Why did Adam and Eve never have a date? Because they both met their “match” in the Garden of Eden!
Why was Jonah the worst dinner guest? He always ended up in the belly of the whale!
Why did the donkey in the Bible get a promotion? Because he was always going the extra mile!
What’s the most musical book in the Bible? The Book of Psalms, because it’s full of notes!
Why did Jesus always teach outdoors? Because he didn’t want to be accused of “indoctrination”!
Why was the math book jealous of the Bible? Because the Bible had all the “divine solutions”!
Why did the Bible feel lonely? Because it couldn’t find a good bookmark – it always kept losing its place!
Why did the Bible take so many selfies? It wanted to capture all of God’s angles!
What’s the best time to read the Bible? Right before the test at the Bible college!
What do you call it when you have the entire Bible memorized? A “preachy” keen memory!
Why did Moses have trouble parting the Red Sea? He forgot his water skis!
Why did the Bible apply for a job as a chef? Because it knew all about “holy spices”!
Why did Adam never go to the gym? He didn’t want to lose his rib!
Why did Moses never get a promotion? He always had a problem with the “staff” meetings!
What did the Bible say to the pencil? “You’re pointless without me!”
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because it said it couldn’t keep a secret and always leaks!
Why did Jesus never pay for his meals at restaurants? He always had a disciple to foot the bill!
Why did Jesus turn water into wine at a wedding? He wanted everyone to say, “Holy spirits!”
Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? Someone dropped the remote control!
Why did the baker go to church? Because he kneaded a little “dough” for forgiveness!
Why did the fig tree never go on vacation? It didn’t want to “leaf” the Bible!
Why did Samson bring a donkey to the temple? Because he wanted to show off his strength in a “stallion”!
Why did the wise men bring spices as gifts? Because they wanted to “spice” up the birth of Jesus!
Why did the Bible go to the gym? It wanted to get more toned scriptures!
Why did the Bible feel lonely? It couldn’t find a match on ChristianMingle!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture!
Why did Jonah never get bored on the ark? Because he always had a whale of a time!
Why did the clown bring a Bible to the circus? He wanted to be a “holy roller”!
Why did Noah bring a pair of extra shoes on the ark? In case he had to start a pair of new waves!
Why did the Bible get good grades in school? Because it was well-versed!
Why did the fig tree blush when Jesus cursed it? It couldn’t “fig”ure out what it did wrong!
Why did the Bible bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to “raise” the roof!
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
Why did the Bible wear sunglasses? It wanted to be known as the “cool testament”!
Why did Noah become a barber? He knew how to part the hair!

Bible Joke Generator

Delivering a biblical joke without falling into the sea of irreverence can sometimes feel like walking on water.

(Did you catch my drift there?)

That’s where our FREE Bible Joke Generator comes to your rescue.

Designed to weave together witty puns, wholesome humor, and playful biblical references, it creates jokes that are guaranteed to inspire chuckles and cheerful grins.

Don’t let your humor turn as dry as the desert sands.

Use our joke generator to craft jokes that are as lively and captivating as the tales from the Bible.

FAQs About Bible Jokes

Why are Bible jokes popular?

Bible jokes are popular because they combine humor with familiar stories and figures from one of the most widely read books in the world.

They can be a fun way to revisit these narratives, and can sometimes serve as ice-breakers in religious or community gatherings.

Can Bible jokes help in social situations?

Yes, Bible jokes can be quite useful in social situations, especially in gatherings involving people who share a faith or interest in biblical stories.

They can help to lighten the mood and promote camaraderie.

However, respect for different beliefs is key.

Always ensure your audience is comfortable with religious humor.

How can I come up with my own Bible jokes?

Get well-acquainted with the Bible and its stories. The more familiar you are, the easier it will be to spot humorous potential.
Identify the unique characteristics of biblical figures or situations that can be humorously exaggerated or used for puns.
Think about modern day parallels or funny scenarios that might involve biblical characters or situations.
Remember, humor should never offend. Make sure your Bible jokes are in good taste and respectful of religious beliefs.

Are there any tips for remembering Bible jokes?

To remember Bible jokes, try associating them with specific stories or characters from the Bible.

Visualizing the jokes in the context of the biblical narratives can make them easier to recall.

How can I make my Bible jokes better?

The best Bible jokes are those that are clever, respectful, and easy to understand.

Practice your delivery, timing, and tone.

Also, the better you know your audience and their comfort level with religious humor, the more successful your joke will be.

How does the Bible Joke Generator work?

Our Bible Joke Generator is designed to provide you with quick, clean humor related to biblical themes.

Just enter your keywords or choose a specific biblical figure or story, then hit the Generate Jokes button.

You’ll soon have a collection of Bible jokes that can add a dash of humor to your conversations or speeches.

Is the Bible Joke Generator free?

Yes, the Bible Joke Generator is absolutely free to use.

Enjoy creating as many jokes as you like, and have fun sharing your faith and humor!

Conclusion

Bible jokes serve as a joyful infusion to everyday conversations, making life a bit more blessed with each giggle.

From the quick and witty to the lengthy and side-splitting, there’s a Bible joke for every sermon or fellowship.

So next time you’re flipping through the Bible, remember, there’s humor to be found in every book, verse, and parable.

Keep sharing the laughter, and let the good times Psalm and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without the Bible—unthinkable and, truthfully, a bit less spiritually nourishing.

Happy joking, everyone!

Adam and Eve Jokes for an Apple-y Good Time

Noah’s Ark Jokes to Keep You Afloat with Laughter

Moses Jokes That Will Part Your Sides with Laughter

David and Goliath Jokes That Are Giantly Hilarious

Genesis Jokes That Will Start Your Day with a Smile