689 Driver Jokes That Will Accelerate Your Laughter

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re all set to buckle up for a ride into the world of driver jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the best of the best.

That’s why we’ve lined up a traffic jam of the most hilarious driver jokes.

From hilarious honk-worthy puns to speedy one-liners, our collection has a joke for every route in life.

So, let’s hit the gas and zoom into the fast lane of driver humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Driver Jokes

Driver jokes can instantly lighten up anyone’s road rage and turn a long, boring commute into a fun one.

Whether it’s about the habits of different types of drivers, the quirks and antics that come with driving different types of vehicles, or the universal experiences of traffic, parking, and navigation – there’s a wealth of humor to be found on the road.

Coming up with a good driver joke requires a sense of timing, a twist of the unexpected, and a keen observation of the sometimes absurd realities of life on the road.

Ready to shift gears and drive into a world of laughter?

Strap in and buckle up for these hilarious driver jokes:

Why was the driver so upset after losing a race? He couldn’t handle the steering his emotions!
Why did the driver get kicked out of the golf course? Because they kept yelling “FORE”-ward while driving!
What do you call a driver who delivers chicken? A poultry in motion!
Why was the driver’s car always late? It took too many detours to avoid the traffic jam on Memory Lane!
Why did the driver bring a map to bed? Because they wanted to dream of driving in their sleep!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the driver always carry a map in their car? Because they didn’t want to “drive” themselves crazy getting lost!
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
Why did the driver get a ticket for making his car invisible? Because he didn’t use his turn signal!
What do you call a driver who doesn’t obey traffic laws? A rebel without a clause!
Why did the driver get a ticket for driving in reverse? Because he wanted to see where he’s been!
Why did the driver take a nap in their car? They wanted to dream of being in the fast lane!
Why did the driver bring a pillow to the racetrack? Because they wanted to catch up on some “Zzz’s” on the fast lane!
What do you call a driver who follows all the traffic rules? An accident waiting to happen!
Why did the driver get a ticket for driving too slowly? Because the police thought they were just dragging their feet!
What do you call a bear who never gets in accidents? A good driver!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the armadillo it was possible!
What do you call a driver who has no patience? A “horn”y driver!
Why did the driver bring a car manual to the restaurant? Because they wanted to park it at a table!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the race? Because they heard the competition was going to be intense!
Why did the police officer go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw blood!
Why did the driver refuse to play cards? Because he was afraid of getting a bad handbrake!
What do you call a bear that is a race car driver? Winnie the Vroom!
Why did the driver always carry an extra pair of pants? In case they “drove” their car into a “hole”!
Why did the computer go to driving school? Because it had a lot of trouble shifting gears!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the car race? Because he heard the winner was always the one who reached new heights!
Why did the driver get a ticket for driving with a broken pencil? Because he didn’t have a proper lead!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear! (Because they can’t drive!).
Why did the driver take a shower before going on a drive? Because he wanted to have a clean getaway!
Why did the driver get a ticket for eating ice cream while driving? Because they couldn’t “cone”centrate on the road!
Why did the driver become a gardener? Because they had a “green” thumb when it came to navigating through traffic!
Why don’t drivers ever get lonely? Because they always have car-pool buddies!
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why did the driver bring a notebook to the race? So they could “track” their progress!
What do you call a driver who only has one arm? A traffic conductor!
What do you call a bear who can’t drive? A chauffur-bear!
Why don’t aliens ever learn to drive? They prefer to fly!
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
Why did the driver bring a ladder? In case he wanted to reach for the stars while driving!
Why did the driver get a ticket for looking at his watch? Because he had too much time on his hands!
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
Why did the driver always carry a map? Because they couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag!
Why did the driver get a ticket at the bakery? Because he was caught rolling through a stop loaf!
Why did the taxi driver bring a ladder to work? Because he heard the pay was “step” based!
Why did the driver only travel in the winter? Because their car would always get frostbite!
Why did the driver take a nap while driving? Because he wanted to dream about winning the race!
What do you call a bear that is a chauffeur? A “grrrr-ber” driver!
What did the driver say to the car that wouldn’t start? “You’ve driven me to the brink!”
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the racetrack? Because they wanted to see the winner’s circle!
Why did the driver sit on a clock? Because he wanted to be on time for his appointment!
What did the driver say to the rude passenger? “I can take you from A to B, but not from B to A-hole!”
What did the driver say to the gas pump? “I’m “pumped” to fill you up!”
Why did the driver cross the road? To escape the backseat driver’s constant directions!
Why do drivers make great comedians? Because they always have a good “drive” to make people laugh!
Why did the driver have a pet snake in their car? Because they wanted to “hiss” the other drivers off!
Why did the car refuse to play cards with the driver? Because it was tired of being dealt a bad hand!
Why did the driver become a gardener? Because he wanted to make the streets bloom!
Why did the driver make a U-turn in the desert? They wanted to see if the sand was greener on the other side!
What do you call a driver who only communicates in reverse? A back-chatter!
Why don’t drivers ever get lonely? Because they always have a “steering” committee with them!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
Why did the driver get kicked out of the comedy club? Because his jokes were always driving people crazy!
Why did the driver cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Why did the driver bring a pencil and paper? To take notes while driving on the freeway of course!
Why did the driver become a musician? Because they always had a “steering” for music!
What do you call a driver who can’t stop telling jokes? A car-toonist!
Why did the driver get a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt? Because he wanted to “drive” everyone crazy!
Why did the taxi driver get a good grade in math? Because he knew all the routes!
What do you call a driver who refuses to use a GPS? Directionally challenged!
Why do cowboys make great drivers? They can steer with their spurs!
Why did the driver refuse to play cards with the other cars? They always drove a hard bargain!
Why did the golfer become a driver? Because they wanted to be a hole in one!
What do you call a driver who can’t stop making jokes? A comedian behind the wheel!
Why did the driver invite his car to his wedding? Because he wanted a “drive”-thru ceremony!
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Why do drivers make good comedians? Because they always have good delivery!
Why did the driver bring a piece of paper to the race? Because they wanted to document all the “lap” of luxury!
Why did the driver bring a pen and paper to the car race? In case he wanted to take some pit stops!
Why did the driver get a ticket for breaking up with their car? Because it was a hit and run relationship!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to their car? Because they heard the steering wheel was a bit high!
What do you call a deer that can operate a vehicle? A car-deer!
Why did the driver take a boat to work? Because he wanted a change of pace!
Why did the driver always carry a map? Because he had a terrible sense of direction, and he didn’t want to get lost in his thoughts!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Why did the driver become an artist? They were tired of being framed by traffic cameras!
What do you call a bear that becomes a taxi driver? A furcabbear!
Why did the driver put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
Why do drivers make great comedians? Because they always have the best “turn” of phrase!
What do you call a driver who only follows directions half the time? A semi-colon!
Why did the driver bring a tomato to the race track? He wanted to sauce up his car’s performance!
Why did the driver get a ticket at the seafood restaurant? He was exceeding the mussel limit!
What do you call a driver who always forgets where they parked? An absent-minded “highway”man!
What’s a driver’s favorite song? “On the Road Again” by Willie Nelson!
What do you call a snowman with a driver’s license? A slushy driver!
Why did the driver bring a car door to the desert? Because if it got too hot, he could roll down the window!
Why do golfers always carry two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
Why did the driver get a ticket for driving too slowly? Because they were just trying to go with the flow!
Why did the driver become a chef? Because they knew how to “grill” the competition on the road!
Why was the math book sad after driving? It couldn’t find a single solution for all the traffic problems!
Why did the driver get a ticket for hugging the road? Because it was a street hug violation!
Why did the driver get a ticket for breaking up with their car? They couldn’t stop running away from commitment!
What did the driver say to the stop sign? “I’ll “brake” for you anytime!”
Why did the music teacher become a race car driver? Because he had perfect timing!
Why did the driver go to the dentist? Because they needed a “driver’s filling”!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like some drivers on the road!
What do you call a driver who likes to sleep all the time? A brake dancer!
Why did the driver bring a pencil to their car? In case they needed to take a driving test-drive!

Short Driver Jokes

Short driver jokes are like a smooth ride on an open highway—quick, effortless, and unexpectedly entertaining.

These jokes are perfect for sending a chuckle through a text message, lightening the mood on a social media post, or breaking the ice during a road trip conversation.

The charm of short driver jokes resides in their ability to merge relatable driving scenarios with a witty twist, inducing laughter in just a few words.

So, fasten your seat belts, folks!

Here are some short driver jokes that are sure to steer you towards a hearty laugh.

Why did the computer go to driver’s education? To get more RAM!
Why don’t drivers ever get arrested? Because they always make good turns!
What’s a driver’s favorite type of cookie? Pedal-shaped Oreos!
What’s a driver’s favorite part of a song? The “break”!
What do you call a driver who can’t park? Valet-ridden!
What do you call a nervous driver? A bundle of road rage!
Why was the broom late for work? It overswept!
Why do golfers make great drivers? They’re always driving a wedge!
What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
Why did the driver’s car go to therapy? It had brake-downs!
What did the driver say to the rude pedestrian? “Don’t cross me!”
What’s a driver’s favorite kind of music? Honky-tonk!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
Why did the driver bring a fishing pole? To catch a ride!
What do you call a skeleton who drives really fast? A road-runner!
What’s a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!
What do you call a nervous driver? Wheel-y anxious!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
Why did the driver keep a diary? To record their road adventures!
Why don’t drivers like vampires? They can’t handle the stakes!
What do you call a driver with no patience? Honk-stoppable!
What’s a driver’s favorite type of exercise? Steering-wheel yoga!
What do you call a driver who’s lost? A wanderer-wheel!
What’s the best way to organize a space party? You planet!
Why did the scarecrow become a taxi driver? He loved strawing people!
What’s a driver’s favorite type of shoe? Brake-dancing sneakers!
Why did the computer go for a drive? To clear its cache!
What do you call a driver who never stops talking? A motor-mouth!
Why don’t trees drive cars? Because they only have branches!
What do you call a cow that drives a tractor? A milkshake!
Why did the crab never share? Because it’s a little shellfish!
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
What’s a driver’s favorite type of clothing? Turn signals!
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What do you call a bear behind the wheel? A driving menace!
What’s a driver’s favorite type of music? Rearview melody!
Why do drivers make good detectives? They’re always looking for clues!
Why did the driver go to therapy? They had road rage issues!

Driver Jokes One-Liners

Driver jokes one-liners are the epitome of comedy compacted into a single sentence.

They’re the verbal embodiment of a perfect parallel park – accurate, clean, and impressively skillful.

Creating a great driver one-liner involves a mix of originality, timing, and a profound understanding of the comedic highway.

The trick is to perfectly blend the premise and the punchline into a compact joke, providing maximum laughter with minimum verbiage.

So buckle up and get ready for some driving humor that will surely keep your laughter engine running:

I don’t have road rage, I have selective hearing for car horns.
Why did the driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t take his foot off the brake!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum it could be done!
What do you call a driver who can’t find his car keys? A pedestrian!
Driving is the only sport where the spectators think they’re the experts.
I’m a defensive driver. I always drive with my eyes closed, so I won’t see any accidents coming!
Why did the driver get pulled over by the police? Because they were driving on the sidewalk to avoid traffic.
I learned to drive with my knees. The steering wheel was in my way.
Why did the driver get a ticket for wearing headphones? He couldn’t hear the siren song of the police car!
Why did the driver always have a camera with them? They wanted to “capture the road’s best angles”!
I told the police officer I wasn’t speeding, I was just qualifying for the Daytona 500.
I’m not a backseat driver; I’m an alternative route advisor.
Why did the driver use their turn signal? Because they wanted to practice their dancing moves!
I got a job as a driver because I have a great driving record. I’ve never left any witnesses!
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
Why did the driver bring a pillow to the car? Because they wanted to cushion their driving experience.
I was pulled over by a police officer for driving too slowly. I told him I was just practicing my turtle impression. He didn’t find it amusing.
I don’t suffer from road rage, I enjoy every minute of it.
I’m not a road hog, I just enjoy making the entire highway my personal racetrack.
I don’t need a GPS, my car has a built-in “lost” feature.
I’m convinced that my car is secretly a Transformer because it seems to have a mind of its own.
I used to be a terrible driver, but then I realized I was steering in the wrong direction.
I’m not a bad driver, I’m just an overachiever in finding new parking spots.
I wanted to be a taxi driver, but I couldn’t hack the traffic.
If driving with your eyes closed is dangerous, then why do we have blind spots?
Why did the driver take a nap in the car? Because it was tired of driving him everywhere!
I’m the type of driver who uses turn signals even when no one is around to see them.
I was going to be a Formula 1 driver, but then I realized I couldn’t even handle go-karts.
I have a love-hate relationship with my turn signal – I love to forget it’s on, and others hate me for it.
Why did the driver bring a cup of coffee to the car race? He wanted to “mug” the competition!
I’ve been told that I have a drinking problem… apparently, I drink too much when I drive on the sidewalk.
I don’t need a chauffeur, I just need a car that drives itself… and makes coffee.
I don’t mind driving on the highway, but I prefer taking the driveway home!
Why did the driver always bring a pillow on long drives? They wanted to “rest in peace”!
I’m not a reckless driver, I just enjoy exploring alternative parking options.
I don’t have road rage, I have road enthusiasm with a touch of horn envy.
My car is like a good friend – it always takes me where I need to go, but never judges me for being late.
Why do drivers hate pedestrians? They have the right of way!
I’m not afraid of speed bumps, I just prefer to take them with a little bit of airtime.
I’m not a backseat driver, I’m a rearview mirror performance evaluator.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems to solve and couldn’t count on the driver!
Why did the driver open a bakery? Because they kneaded some dough after their car broke down.
I got pulled over by a police officer and he asked me if I had a drinking problem. I replied, “No, I quite enjoy it.”
What do you call a bear driving a car? A fur-wheel driver!
Why did the driver bring a bag of carrots on the road trip? In case they needed to fuel up with vitamin C!
Why did the driver bring a pair of binoculars to the race? Because he wanted to see victory from a distance!
Why did the driver refuse to believe in ghosts? Because he could always steer clear of them!
What do you call a person who can’t drive but keeps trying? A pedestrian!
Why did the driver keep a shovel in their car? In case they needed to “dig themselves out of a hole”!
I’m not a bad driver, I’m just an overachiever in the bumper car game.
Why did the driver bring their phone to the driver’s test? Because they wanted to call for backup!
Why did the driver always carry a pencil and paper? In case he wanted to draw a diagram of the accident!
I don’t need GPS, I have my own internal compass that points towards the nearest coffee shop.
I may not drive the fastest, but I definitely drive the most creatively.
I don’t speed, I just fly low to avoid the radar.
I told the truck driver to be careful with my fragile cargo. He replied, “Don’t worry, I’ll treat it like a baby.” I hope he meant a well-behaved baby!
The only exercise I get is avoiding potholes while driving.
I hired a limo driver, but all he did was drive in circles. Turns out, he thought he was a racecar driver!
Why don’t bees ever get into accidents? Because they always drive in a buzz!
Why did the driver bring a jar of peanut butter in the car? In case he wanted to spread some traffic jam!
I told the taxi driver to take me somewhere I’ve never been before, so he dropped me off at the dentist’s office. Thanks for the surprise, buddy!
Why did the driver bring a map to the restaurant? Because he wanted to have direction for his meal!
I tried to parallel park, but ended up leaving enough space for two elephants and a circus tent. I guess I have a future as a parking lot driver!
I don’t need a parking spot, I can fit my car into spaces that defy the laws of physics.
Why did the police officer become a taxi driver? He wanted to pursue a higher fare enforcement rate!
I asked the car mechanic if he could fix my brakes. He replied, “I can, but it might drive you crazy.”
I asked the taxi driver if he had any good jokes, and he replied, “No, but I can drive you around until you’re laughing at my meter!”
Driving in the rain is like playing a real-life video game… except the consequences are much more expensive.
Why was the driver’s car like a loaf of bread? Because it was always toast when it hit the street.
I drive so cautiously, my car comes with a built-in “Caution: Grandma Driving” sign.
Why did the driver refuse to let anyone borrow their car? They didn’t want to “drive anyone crazy”!
I finally got my driver’s license revoked. Now I have an excuse to Uber everywhere.
Why did the driver wear two sets of sunglasses? Because he wanted to “drive into the sunset” twice as hard!
I’ve never been pulled over, but I have been chased by a squirrel while driving. It was a close call.
Why don’t drivers ever get lost? Because they always find their way by “turning” the wrong direction!
I’m not a bad driver, I just have a unique way of merging into traffic chaos.
I drive so slow that I’ve been mistaken for a mobile speed bump.
Why was the math book sad when it was riding in the car? Because it had too many problems!
I don’t need a GPS, I have my own special navigation system called “follow the car in front of me.”
I’m not a backseat driver, I’m a “helpful suggestions” consultant.
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear… who’s also a terrible driver!
I asked the Uber driver if he had any good jokes. He replied, “My driving skills.” I hope he was joking about his driving skills too!
Why did the driver sit on a clock? Because he wanted to be on time for his driving test… but ended up behind the wheel of a “hands-on” experience!
My driving skills are like a rollercoaster – thrilling for me, terrifying for everyone else.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus from driving on the information superhighway!
Why did the ghost become a bus driver? Because he always wanted to go on a haunting tour!
I’m not a backseat driver, I’m a motivational GPS.
Why did the driver bring a ladder to their driving test? They heard it was a “highway to success”!
Why did the driver open the car’s manual during a storm? Because it said to use windshield wipers in rain or shine!
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Why did the driver get a ticket? Because he was driving me crazy!
I’m not a speed demon, I just have a special relationship with the gas pedal.
My car may be old, but it has the heart of a racehorse. A very sleepy racehorse.
Why did the driver’s phone go to jail? Because it was caught in traffic!
Why did the golfer become a driver? Because he always preferred a hole in one!
I’m not a fast driver, I’m just on a first-name basis with every traffic cop in town.
I asked the driver if he could take me to the gym, and he said, “Sure, I’ll drive you there, no sweat!”
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea… but it’s probably not a good driver!
I used to be a roadrunner, but then I got caught by a speed camera.
Why did the driver become a stand-up comedian? Because they had a lot of “drive” and “pedal” humor!
Why did the driver keep a spare tire on their dashboard? In case they got a flat screen!
I’ve found the key to happiness – it’s a car key.
I asked the taxi driver if he knew the way to success. He said, “I’m not sure, I’ve been driving this cab for 25 years.”
What’s a driver’s favorite type of coffee? A “drive-thru”!
Why did the driver always have extra socks in their glove compartment? In case they needed to “put the pedal to the socks”!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including terrible drivers.
I’m not a reckless driver, I’m just too dedicated to my air guitar performances while driving.
Why did the driver go to the bank? To get his windshield wipers checked for a good investment!
If you see me driving fast, it’s because my car has a built-in mosquito repellent system.
I don’t need a GPS, my driving skills can take me to the wrong destination without any help.
Why did the driver bring an umbrella to the race? In case it rained… or because he wanted to “shed” some weight for a faster finish!
I wish my car could drive me to the gym, because clearly, I’m not motivated enough.
I don’t need Google Maps, my GPS is powered by my ability to get lost in my own thoughts.
I thought I was a great driver until I got my first parking ticket.
Why did the driver bring a pillow in the car? Because they wanted to make sure they had plenty of headrest!
Why did the driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t take his eyes off the road… and onto the speed limit sign.
Why did the driver always carry a map? They wanted to be “directionally challenged”!
I don’t believe in speeding tickets, I prefer to think of them as donations to the government’s “Need for Speed” fund.
I thought about becoming a taxi driver, but then I realized I can’t handle all the fare.
Why did the driver get a ticket for driving with one hand? Because he forgot to use his other hand to steer… or was it just practicing for a future career in NASCAR?
I’m not speeding, I’m just testing the limits of gravity.
My driving skills are so impressive that I can make a U-turn in a roundabout… with my eyes closed.
I’m not a bad driver, I’m just an expert at dodging potholes.
My car is like my second home, except I’m allowed to drive it while wearing pajamas.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… and also a great driver!
Why did the driver bring a pencil and paper to the car? They wanted to take notes while driving through a speed trap!
I asked the driver if he had any spare change, and he replied, “Sorry, I only carry spare tires!”
I always use my turn signals in parking lots, so other drivers know I have no idea where I’m going.
I’ve mastered the art of defensive driving – I can avoid accidents by staying home and ordering pizza.
I’m not a bad driver, I’m just participating in a demolition derby every time I hit the road.
Driving a car is like playing a video game, except you can’t just press restart when you crash.
I’m not a bad driver, I’m just really good at avoiding pedestrians… and sometimes other cars too.
I was so bad at driving that my GPS asked me if I was sure I wanted to go home.
Why did the driver become a baker? Because he kneaded a change of pace!
I tried to look cool while driving, but ended up looking like a confused penguin on wheels.
Why did the driver bring a baseball bat in the car? Because they heard it was a good way to hit the road!
I don’t have road rage, I have performance anxiety on the highway.
I don’t need a convertible, my car’s rusty roof gives me the feel of a sunroof for free.
Why did the driver bring a map to the amusement park? Because he wanted to take all the “wrong turns” on the roller coasters!
My car is like a UFO – it disappears whenever I park it.
I have a love-hate relationship with traffic lights; they’re always red when I’m in a hurry and green when I need a break.
The best drivers are the ones who sing the loudest, regardless of their vocal skills.
I was going to be a taxi driver, but I couldn’t get past the first fare.
Why don’t drivers need a license to drive? Because they already have a driving license!
My driving skills are so good, I once parallel parked a submarine.
Why did the tire become a stand-up comedian? Because it always had good material for the road!
My car has a built-in gym, it’s called the steering wheel.
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m about to change… just like your driving habits!
I just got a job as a taxi driver. I’m really driving myself to succeed.
I don’t have road rage, I have parking lot rage.
My car’s airbags are like my friends, they always pop up unexpectedly.
The only thing I hit more often than the brakes is my funny bone while driving.
Why did the driver bring a fishing rod in their car? Just in case they wanted to catch some “traffic”!
The best way to find your car in a parking lot is to forget where you parked it in the first place.
I have so many speeding tickets, I should start a scrapbook.
I’m not a bad driver, I’m just on the wrong side of the road.
Why did the driver open his car window in the desert? Because he wanted to let the air out!
I told my wife I wanted to be a limousine driver. She said, “That’s a stretch!”
I asked the driver if he could take me to the library. He replied, “Sure, I’ve never been asked to take a book on a joyride before!”
My car’s fuel efficiency is directly proportional to the distance to the nearest gas station.
I asked the bus driver if he could drive me to the gym. He replied, “Sorry, my bus doesn’t do stationary workouts!”
I don’t honk my horn out of anger, I just want to make sure it still works.
If driving was an Olympic sport, I would definitely win gold in parallel parking.
I’m not a bad driver, I just panic when the GPS says ‘Bear right’.
Why did the driver go to the dentist? To get a “filling” in the tank!
I told the doctor I broke my arm in several places, so he gave me a cast for my car!
Why did the car hire a driver? Because it didn’t want to get taken for a ride!
I always signal my turns – it’s just a gentle reminder to other drivers that they should be prepared for my unpredictable maneuvers.
What do you call a deer with no eyes driving a car? “No eye-deer” driving!
I like to stay in my lane, both on the road and in life.
I like to think of myself as a driver with a strong sense of direction, just not always the right one.
I tried to become a Formula 1 driver, but my car only goes from 0 to 60 in about 10 minutes.
Why did the driver get a ticket for littering? Because they couldn’t find a trash can, so they tossed their blinker out the window.
My driving skills are so good, I once parked in someone else’s dream.
I don’t need anger management, I just need a better horn for my car.
I don’t need anger management, I just need a faster car.
Why did the car become a singer? Because it had perfect pitch!
I don’t need GPS, I have a sixth sense for finding the wrong way.
I’m a multitasking driver, I can text, eat, and pretend to pay attention all at the same time.
Why did the driver always carry a pen and paper? They wanted to “write their own road map”!
I was going to tell a joke about drivers, but it would just drive you crazy.
I don’t tailgate, I just believe in giving the car in front of me a friendly push forward.
My car’s GPS has a great sense of humor. It always tells me to turn left, just kidding, turn right, just kidding, do a U-turn, nope, just kidding!
Why did the driver wear a suit while driving? Because they wanted to make a good impression on the road!
Why don’t skeletons ever become race car drivers? Because they don’t have the guts!
My driving skills are so good, I can make a green light turn red just by approaching it.
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the race? He wanted to reach new heights in his driving career!
I used to think I was a good driver, until I tried to do a three-point turn in a two-point street.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful driver? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the driver always carry a pencil and paper? In case he needed to draw a map… since GPS wasn’t his strong suit!
My friend asked me if I wanted to be a designated driver. I said, “Sure, as long as I can also be the designated DJ and dancer!”

Driver Dad Jokes

Driver dad jokes are the perfect mix of humor and road-related puns that have the power to make anyone roll their eyes and chuckle simultaneously.

They’re the type of jokes that are so corny, they’re actually amusing.

These jokes are perfect for long car rides, family get-togethers, or just to lighten up the mood during a traffic jam.

Fasten your seat belts for the laughter ride.

Here are some driver dad jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone:

Why do all drivers have good manners? Because they know how to steer clear of trouble!
Why did the driver go to the dentist? Because he wanted to get a good check-up… on his car insurance!
Why don’t drivers ever get invited to parties? Because they always drive everyone nuts!
Why did the taxi driver get a good grade in school? Because he always knew the right direction to take!
What did the policeman say to the driver who was dressed like a clown? “You’re under a vest!”
Why do bees make great drivers? Because they always take the sting out of traffic!
Why did the driver bring a pencil to the steering wheel? In case he had to draw a lane change!
Why did the driver get a ticket at the bakery? Because they parked in a “roll” zone!
What do you call a group of drivers who are all siblings? A car-pool!
Why do drivers make great detectives? They always know how to “tail” someone!
What do you get when you cross a music teacher and a driver? A conductor who drives everyone crazy!
Why did the driver get a ticket for eating while driving? Because he was trying to make fast food even faster!
Why don’t skeletons ever drive cars? Because they don’t have the guts!
How do drivers stay cool in the summer? They roll down their windows!
Why do tennis players make great drivers? Because they always serve aces on the road!
Why did the driver park their car in the shade? Because they didn’t want it to get sun-tired!
What do you call a detective who works as a Uber driver on the side? An undercover cop!
Why don’t drivers ever tell secrets on the road? Because the streets have ears!
Why did the taxi driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t stop cabbing about his day!
Why did the driver bring a pillow to the car? In case they needed a quick “rest” stop!
Why did the driver go to the bank? To get their change of gears!
Why did the driver only eat salad while on the road? They wanted to steer clear of fast food!
Why did the taxi driver take a vacation? Because they needed a break from the meter!
Why did the driver get a ticket for being too friendly? He was charged with excessive car-smiles!
Why do drivers make good comedians? Because they have a great sense of humor… they’re always in the driver’s seat!
Why do race car drivers make great comedians? Because they always have a good pit stop!
Why was the computer cold during the drive? Because it left its Windows open!
Why did the driver have a salad while driving? Because they wanted to eat “greens” on the go!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of driver’s license? A “rrr-estricted” license!
Why do bees make great drivers? Because they always know the buzz routes!
Why did the golf club go to the driving range? Because it wanted to improve its driving skills!
Why did the driver bring a map to the bakery? Because they wanted to find a roll model!
Why did the driver get a ticket for excessive speed? He couldn’t control his excitement for the new car!
What did the traffic light say to the car? Stop being so “lightheaded”!
Why did the driver take a nap on the steering wheel? They wanted to catch up on some rest stops!
Why did the driver become an artist? Because they loved “drawing” attention on the road!
Why did the driver refuse to pick up hitchhikers? He didn’t want to drive anyone crazy!
Why did the driver get a ticket for breaking up with their car? They were caught driving a way too fast!
Why do drivers never get lonely on the road? Because they always have their car-pool karaoke crew!
Why don’t drivers ever get a promotion? Because they’re always in neutral!
Why did the taxi driver get a good report card? Because they always drive in the right lane!
Why don’t drivers ever use the restroom on the side of the road? Because they prefer to take pit stops instead!
Why do drivers never get lost in the jungle? Because they always follow the “traffic” signs!
Why did the driver start a band? Because they wanted to hit all the right notes on the road!
What did the ocean say to the driver? Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the driver refuse to pick up the hitchhiker? Because they didn’t want to take anyone for a ride!
Why did the driver bring a pillow to the car race? Because he wanted to catch some Zs while speeding by!
Why did the driver refuse to go on a roller coaster? He didn’t want to take any detours!
Why did the driver bring a map to the movie theater? Because they heard the film was a real road trip!
Why did the driver open a bakery? Because they wanted to put the pedal to the scone!
Why did the driver park on top of a hill? Because they wanted to reach new heights in their parking skills!
Why did the driver get a ticket for being too sleepy? Because he was caught napping at the wheel!
Why did the driver bring a map to bed? Because they wanted to dream about going places!
Why did the driver go to the dentist? He needed a “filling” in his tires!
Why do drivers never get bored? Because they always have a “steering” wheel to play with!
Why don’t drivers ever get along? Because they always have the steering wheel between them!
Why did the driver bring a map to bed? So they could dream of a long journey!
Why did the driver bring a mirror to their driving test? So they could see their reflection on how well they did!
Why was the driver’s car always so dirty? Because he liked to take it off-road… right through mud puddles!
Why did the driver become a stand-up comedian? Because he had a knack for steering the conversation in a funny direction!
Why did the driver refuse to go near the bakery? Because he was afraid of the traffic jam!
Why did the driver become a stand-up comedian? They always loved delivering punchlines on the road!
What do you get when you cross a race car driver and a snowman? Frostbite!
Why don’t skeletons like to drive cars? They don’t have the guts for it!
Why did the driver bring a pen and paper to the race? To take some notes in the fast lane!
Why did the driver bring a map to the bakery? They were looking for the quickest route to doughnuts!
Why did the driver bring a spoon to the car race? Because he wanted to eat his way to victory!
Why did the driver take a nap on the highway? Because he wanted to hit the road and snooze!
Why did the computer become a race car driver? Because it had an excellent “byte” rate!
Why did the driver get a ticket for speeding at the zoo? Because he was lion about his speed!
What do you call a cow driving a car? A milk float!
Why did the driver get a ticket for breaking up with their car? Because they left it without giving any signals!
What do you call a driving dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks!
Why did the driver always carry a spare tire? Because they believed in being well-rounded!
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left!
Why do drivers make great comedians? They always have a funny steering wheel!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the car race? Because they heard they needed to reach new heights in speed!
Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
Why did the driver take a nap in the car? Because they wanted to wake up on the “right” side of the road!
Why did the driver take a nap in the parking lot? They wanted to wake up with a full tank of dreams!
Why did the driver get a ticket at the bakery? He couldn’t resist exceeding the speed of dough!
Why did the car bring a sweater? Because it wanted to wrap up warm!
Why do bees make terrible drivers? Because they always buzz around!
Why did the driver sit on a clock during a road trip? Because they wanted to be on time!
Why do cows make great drivers? Because they always steer clear of traffic!
Did you hear about the car that went for a swim? It turned into a motorboat!
Why did the driver put a clock in their car? Because they wanted to be on time at all times!
Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
Why was the math book sad when it saw the driver’s license? Because it knew there would be too many problems ahead!
Why did the computer go to driving school? Because it wanted to become a key driver!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the race? Because he wanted to climb to the top of the charts!
Why don’t drivers ever stop for a cup of tea? Because they prefer to take the high whey!
Why don’t drivers ever get lonely on long road trips? Because they always have their steering wheel companion!
Why did the driver’s dog sit in the front seat? Because he wanted to be the “driver’s best friend”!
Why do drivers hate calling their cars their babies? Because they never want to hear them say, “Are we there yet?”
What did the driver say to the car that wouldn’t start? “You’ve got some serious drive-issues!”
What did the grape say after the car ran over it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why did the driver bring a map to the seafood restaurant? Because he wanted to find the best fish and chips route!
Why did the taxi driver always carry a toothbrush? In case there was a brush with danger!
How does a tree get around? It drives a trunk!

Driver Jokes for Kids

Driver jokes for kids are the perfect pit stop for a fun-filled journey down the road of humor.

These jokes fuel their curiosity and spark their imagination, as they navigate through the various funny situations a driver can encounter.

They are designed to be easy for kids to understand and enjoy, while instilling a sense of timing, delivery, and wordplay.

Not just that, driver jokes can be a great way to familiarize kids with road safety rules and traffic signs, all while keeping them entertained.

Get ready for a laughter ride as we present to you these hilarious driver jokes that’ll have your kids laughing in the backseat:

What do you call a frog who illegally parks his car? Toad the line!
Why was the math book sad when it lost its driver’s license? Because it couldn’t count on driving anymore!
Why did the driver get a ticket for breaking their pencil? Because it was “speeding” in a school zone!
Why did the driver bring a hammer to the race? In case he needed to nail the finish line!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the car? In case they wanted to climb the “speed limit” sign!
What do you call a dog driving a car? A “pawl”ice officer!
Why was the steering wheel in a hurry? Because it wanted to get a-head!
What do you call a bear who has a driver’s license? A chauffurrr!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired from driving all day!
Why did the car get a ticket? Because it was “tired” of following the road rules!
They just keep flashing their lights!
Why don’t alligators like fast cars? Because they can’t put their “gator”-ade in the cup holder!
Why did the car bring a pencil to its driving test? In case it had to draw a parallel park!
Why don’t teddy bears ever go on road trips? Because they’re always stuffed!
Why did the driver go to school? To get their driver’s license!
Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it saw the cars coming and got scared!
Why did the car go to school? To get smarter and become a road scholar!
What do you call a driver who doesn’t have a car? A pedestrian!
Traffic jam!
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive? A Minnie-van!
What kind of tea do race car drivers drink? Brake fluid!
A quack driver!
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did one traffic cone say to the other? “Stop goofing around, we’ve got work to do!”
Why did the driver take a nap at the gas station? Because they heard they could get some “rest” there!
Put a little boogie in it!
Why did the driver bring a pencil to the race? In case they needed to “draw” a winner!
Why do cars never get bored? Because they have drivers!
Why did the car’s engine go to the doctor? It was having a lot of exhaust issues!
What did the driver say to the car that wouldn’t start? “You better “start” behaving or I’ll give you a timeout!”
Why did the driver take a shower before every race? Because they wanted to have a clean start!
How do you know when a car has been to a party? It has a “parking ticket” on its windshield!
What do you call a driver who doesn’t use their turn signals? A winker in the wrong direction!
Why did the banana go to traffic school? Because it had a bad peel!
Why did the chicken cross the road in a racecar? Because it wanted to lay it on the line!
Why did the driver put on two pairs of pants? In case they got a “driving ticket”!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of transportation? A ship’s driver!
Why did the race car driver go to school? Because he wanted to be race-smart!
What do you call a driver with a sense of humor? A funny-car driver!
Why did the computer go to driving school? To get a crash course!
What do you get if you cross a driver with a magician? A “turn signal” that disappears when you need it!
Why did the driver bring a pencil and paper to the car race? Because he wanted to take some notes on the fast track!
Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it was tired of people always telling it to stop!
What do you call a bear with no teeth who is driving a car? A gummy bear!
Why did the driver go to the library before hitting the road? They wanted to check out some “drive-thru” books!
Why did the cookie become a race car driver? Because he always wanted to crumble the competition!
Why did the driver bring a pillow to the car race? Because he wanted to take a nap in the fast lane!
Why did the driver sit on their wallet? Because they wanted to make some extra cash on their drive!
Why did the driver bring a mirror to the race? Because they wanted to see themselves win!
What kind of car does a sheep drive? A Lamborghini!
Why did the car feel embarrassed? It couldn’t find the brake and had to stop using its feet!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the store? Because they heard the prices were through the roof!
Why did the car get a ticket? Because it was parked in a no-parking zone!
Why did the driver keep a map in their car? Because they didn’t want to get lost in their thoughts!
Why did the scarecrow become a taxi driver? Because he wanted to get ahead in life!
How do you know if a driver is nervous? They start steering in their seats!
What do you call a car that’s not yours but you drive it? A car-tainly borrowed vehicle!
What’s a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation? A scare-plane!
Why did the computer go to driver’s ed? To get better at “mouse”-steering!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a “hole in one” and a “hole in two” while driving the golf cart!
What do you call a bear that doesn’t have a driver’s license? Unbearable!
Why did the driver bring a spoon to the car? In case they needed to “drive-thru” and eat some ice cream!
What is a driver’s favorite kind of music? Steering wheel-odies!
What did the stop sign say to the car? Stop and smell the roses!
What do you call a deer that can drive a car? A road runner!
Why did the driver go to the dentist? Because he wanted to improve his “driver’s smile”!
What kind of driver never gets a traffic ticket? A screwdriver!
What do you call a bear that drives a car? A chauffur-bear!
Why did the driver bring a pillow in the car? Because they were ready for a “cushion-y” ride!
What do you call a snowman driving recklessly? A car-snow-genic driver!
Why did the banana become a racecar driver? Because it had appealing driving skills!
Why did the driver put on their seatbelt? Because they wanted to buckle up for safety!
Why did the banana go to driving school? It wanted to learn how to peel out!
Can I give you a lift?
Why did the car bring a blanket to the race? Because it wanted to cover its tracks!
What do you call a cat who loves to drive? A purrr-fect driver!
Why did the car bring a jumper cable on its date? In case there was a spark!
What do you call a rabbit driving really fast? A hare-racing driver!
Why did the driver bring a broom to the car race? Because he wanted to sweep the competition away!
Don’t look, I’m changing!
What do you call a bear driving a truck? A truck-nimal!
Why was the math book a terrible driver? Because it couldn’t keep its solutions straight!
Why did the driver bring a pencil and paper to the car race? Because he wanted to draw the finish line!
What do you call a dog driving a steamroller? A good boy on a roll!
What do you call a bear driving in the rain? A drizzly bear!
Why did the car go to the dentist? Because it had plaque on its wheels!
What do you call a frog who loves driving? Toadster!
Why did the racecar driver bring a ladder to the race? Because he wanted to drive in the high lane!
Why did the car bring a blanket to the race? Because it wanted to keep warm in case it ran out of gas!
Because it had too many problems!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and thought it was a driver’s license!
What do you call a car that’s full of monkeys? A traffic jam!
Why did the banana go to traffic school? It had split ends!
Why did the car’s tires get tired? Because they had been driving themselves crazy all day!
Because it wanted to jump-start the fun!
What do you call a bear without a driver’s license? Unlicensed!
Why did the driver get a ticket for littering? Because he was driving with a lot of garbage in his car!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it and then drive it around town!
What did the steering wheel say to the car? “I’m tired of being driven around all day!” .
Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it wanted to stop the cars and talk to pedestrians!
What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking, I’m changing!
What do you get if you cross a car and a boat? A traffic jam on the water!
Why did the taxi driver never get a traffic ticket? Because he always knew the shortest route to escape!
What do you call a driver who goes the wrong way? A wrong-turner!
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants when he went driving? In case he got a hole in one!
To get a little motor-vation!
What do you call a deer that is also a taxi driver? A cab-buck!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the traffic light turn yellow!
Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it was tired of everyone driving all over it!
What do you call a rabbit driving a car? A hare-chauffeur!
Why did the music teacher become a bus driver? Because she wanted to make sure the students were in tune!
What did the stop sign say to the car? “Stop looking at me, I’m not going anywhere!”
Why did the driver get a ticket at the bakery? Because they “rolled” through a stop sign while thinking about cinnamon rolls!
What do you call a funny driver? A wheel-y good comedian!
Why did the car bring an umbrella to the race? In case it rained on the track!
What kind of driver never gets a parking ticket? A kangaroo – they always hop away!
Why did the car’s engine break up with the tires? It couldn’t handle the pressure!
Why did the tree go to driving school? To get its learner’s branches!
Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the driver? Because it saw the traffic jam ahead!

Driver Jokes for Adults

Who says driving has to be all about road rage and stress?

Driver jokes for adults inject a dose of humor into the everyday monotony of commuting, merging the wits of adult humor with the shared experience of being behind the wheel.

Just like a well-coordinated three-point turn, these jokes maneuver through humor, intellect, and a sprinkle of cheekiness to generate hearty laughter.

Whether you’re at a casual get-together, a long road trip, or simply want to break the ice during a traffic jam, these jokes are sure to shift your mood into high gear.

Fasten your seatbelt and get ready for some hilarious driver jokes that are exclusive for adults:

Why did the car driver become a gardener? He loved to “drive” flowers crazy!
Why did the driver join a band? Because he heard they had great roadies!
Why did the driver bring a map to the desert? He wanted to show the sand where to go!
Why did the driver always carry a map? Because they believed in “directional” fashion statements!
Why did the taxi driver get a good deal on a car? It came with a great fare package!
Why did the driver always carry a pencil and paper in the car? In case he wanted to take some “notes” on the road!
What do you call a driver who hates driving? A ‘brake’ dancer!
Why did the car break up with the driver? It got tired of being driven crazy!
Why did the driver always carry a pen and paper? To jot down any license plate numbers of bad drivers, of course!
Why did the driver always carry a pen and paper while driving? To jot down any “road” ideas that came to mind!
Why did the traffic light turn red? It was embarrassed by the driver’s terrible dance moves!
Why did the driver become a stand-up comedian? He wanted to see if he could drive people to laughter!
Why did the driver go to the dentist? They wanted to fill up their cavities while driving!
Why did the car get a flat tire at the comedy club? It couldn’t handle all the dad jokes!
Why did the driver always park on hills? He wanted to be on top of the world!
Why don’t ghosts make good Uber drivers? They always go straight through red lights!
Why did the golfer become a taxi driver? Because he wanted to drive par for the course!
Why did the driver invite their car to the birthday party? Because it always knows how to make a good entrance!
Why did the driver always carry a map? Because he couldn’t find his GPS sense of direction!
What do you call a driver who doesn’t signal? A “turning” point in road rage!
Why did the driver get a ticket at the comedy show? Because their parallel parking skills were too punny for the police!
What do you call a driver who doesn’t use their turn signals? “An accident waiting to happen!”
Why did the driver bring a pillow to the race? He wanted to drive on the fast track to dreamland!
Why did the driver get a ticket for a stolen car? Because they accidentally tried to brake with the clutch!
Why did the driver take a break from racing? He needed to steer clear of burnout!
Why did the driver become a gardener? Because he wanted to be good at taking turns!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the race? Because they heard the winner was always outstanding in their field!
Why did the driver get a ticket for singing while driving? They were caught “car-e-oke-ing!”
What did the stop sign say to the driver? Stop chatting and hit the brakes!
Why did the driver make a U-turn at the fast-food restaurant? They forgot to order fries!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, just like a driver sees a red light!
Why did the driver take the long route home? They wanted to keep the carpool karaoke going!
Why did the driver take up a career in comedy? He knew how to steer the crowd with his jokes!
Why did the driver lose his job as a banker? He was always overstepping his “credit” limit!
What do you call a driver who never gets lost? An amaze-ing driver!
Why did the driver start singing in the car? They heard it was the best way to hit the right notes!
Why did the driver get a ticket for not wearing their seatbelt? Because they couldn’t fasten their safety belt, they were too tired from sleeping on it!
Why did the driver get arrested? Because he took a turn for the worse!
Why do drivers make good comedians? Because they always have a lot of traffic jokes!
Why did the driver go to the chiropractor? He had a “misalignment” in his driving posture!
What do you call a driver who loves to sing while driving? A “car-aoke” enthusiast!
Why did the driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t stop making illegal turns!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
Why did the driver refuse to play cards with the other cars? Because they knew the deck was stacked against them!
Why did the driver bring a pillow to the car? So they could take a power nap on the road!
Why was the driver so upset at the stop sign? It was always telling them what to do!
Why was the driver arrested for theft? Because they took a lot of breaks!
Why did the driver go to jail? Because they couldn’t stop making illegal turns!
Why don’t ants ever get into car accidents? They have good “ant-ticipation” skills!
Why did the driver use a calculator while driving? They were trying to figure out how many miles per gallon their car got… while running out of gas!
Why do race car drivers make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always go in circles!
Why was the math teacher a terrible driver? He couldn’t solve the problem of how to properly use his turn signal!
Why did the driver always carry a mirror with them? So they could see what was behind them… without turning their head or using their rearview mirror!
What do you call a nervous driver trying to parallel park? Park-otic!
Why did the driver always carry a pen and paper? In case they needed to take a driving test!
Why did the driver sit on his watch? He wanted to be on “watch” for any traffic violations!
What do you call a deer with no eyes that drives? No-eye deer driver!
Why did the driver refuse to take their car to the mechanic? They didn’t want to be taken for a ride!
Why was the driver’s car always cold? Because it had a bad heater, but it did have great brakes!
Why did the driver feel guilty after running over a squirrel? It was a reckless driving offense!
What did the driver say when they hit a pothole? “Well, that’s a hole new experience!”
Why did the driver bring a pencil and paper to their car? In case they needed to draw a map… or take notes after crashing!
Why did the driver get a ticket for driving too close to the curb? The officer said he was hugging the road too tightly!
Why did the driver keep a pair of scissors in the glove compartment? In case they needed to cut corners!
Why did the driver bring a pillow with them on their long journey? They wanted to avoid “highway hypnosis” and take a “rest” stop!
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-deer, but it could still drive!
Why did the driver get a speeding ticket on his bicycle? He was pedaling too fast!
Why did the driver refuse to pick up hitchhikers? They always brought too much baggage!
Why do drivers make terrible comedians? Because they always drive everyone away with their jokes!
Why did the driver’s car end up in the lake? Because they wanted to test the water’s resistance!
What did the driver say to the car that rear-ended him? “You really “bumper” my day!”
Why did the driver always have a toothbrush in the car? In case he had to make a quick getaway!
Why did the driver take up yoga? To learn how to park in tight spaces, without stress!
Why did the driver refuse to give up their old car? They said it had too many “steering” memories!
Why did the driver keep a bag of potatoes in their car? In case they needed to “mash” the gas pedal!
Why did the cop sit on the clock? Because he wanted to be on the lookout for traffic violations!
Why did the driver keep a spoon in the glove compartment? In case he wanted to take a turn for the wurst!
Why did the driver get a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt? He didn’t buckle up because he “felt tied down”!
Why did the driver go to the bank? He needed to make a “turn” of deposits!
Why did the driver always carry a knife in his car? In case he wanted to take a “sharp” turn!
Why did the driver get a ticket for feeding money into the parking meter? He was trying to make some cents!
Why don’t drivers ever do well on tests? Because they always have a lead foot!
Why did the driver have to go to the chiropractor? He had a bad case of road rage!
Why did the driver have to go to the eye doctor? Because they couldn’t find the right “gear” to see the road signs!
What did one driver say to the other at a red light? “I bet my car can beat yours in a game of ‘red light, green light’!”
Why did the driver get a job at the bakery? He heard they needed someone to “roll” the dough!
Why did the driver always take their car to the gym? Because it had great abs!
Why did the driver go to the bank? To get his license renewed!
Why did the driver park their car on the baseball field? They wanted to hit a home “run”!
Why did the driver have a pet snake in their car? To help with the “viper-ation” of other drivers!
Why did the driver take a pen and paper to the car? Because he wanted to jot down the road trip’s mileage!
Why did the driver start a garden in the back seat? He wanted to cultivate some drive-thru plants!
Why did the driver go to the dentist? They wanted to have “driver’s plaque” removed!
Why did the police officer arrest the driver who smelled like a Christmas tree? He was “sapped” of his driving skills!
Why did the taxi driver get a good review? Because he always drove the extra mile!
What did the driver say to the traffic light? “Don’t you dare change on me now!”
Why did the driver bring a map to the comedy club? They didn’t want to miss any punchlines!
What do you call a driver who doesn’t use turn signals? A “turn-off”!
Why did the driver bring a pillow to the race? In case they “drove” themselves to sleep during the long journey!
What do you call a driver who has no arms or legs? A hazard on the road!
Why did the driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t brake for a good pun!
Why did the driver get a ticket for driving in the ocean? He wanted to try out a “sea-drive” experience!
Why did the driver cross the road? To prove they were able to make good decisions, unlike most pedestrians!
Why did the driver bring a ladder to the race? Because they heard the winner would be awarded a high-speed trophy!
Why did the driver get a ticket for eating while driving? They couldn’t resist a “drive-thru” meal!
Why did the driver always bring a pencil to the track? So he could draw his own finish line!
Why did the driver get a ticket for going too fast? Because they couldn’t find the brakes… or the gas pedal!
Why did the driver bring a notebook to the race? They wanted to take “notes” on how to improve their driving skills!
Why did the driver take their car to the dentist? Because it had a bad case of plaque build-up… on the windshield!
Why did the driver get a ticket for speeding near the bakery? He was caught rolling in the dough!
What did the driver say to the hitchhiker? Hop in, I’ll drive you crazy!
Why do drivers hate stop signs? Because they’re tired of being told what to do… unless it’s by their GPS!
Why did the driver get a ticket for singing in the car? He was exceeding the “sound limit”!
Why did the driver go to art school? They wanted to learn how to draw attention on the road!
Why did the car driver bring a pen and paper on their road trip? To take notes in case they encountered a “jerk” driver!
Why did the driver refuse to pick up hitchhikers? He already had enough baggage in his car!
Why did the driver take an umbrella with him in the car? Because he heard there would be scattered showers!
What do you call a driver who can’t stand traffic? A “passing” fancy!
Why did the driver take their car to the gym? They wanted to give it some “exhaust”ion!
Why did the driver get a pet turtle? So they could have a “slow and steady” driving companion!
Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings!
What did the driver say after getting rear-ended? “I’ve been hit from behind more times than on a dating app!”
Why did the taxi driver get a haircut? Because he was tired of people calling him a “hack”!
Why did the driver go to therapy? He had road rage and needed to “steer” his anger in the right direction!
Why did the driver become a stand-up comedian? He was tired of driving everyone nuts!
Why did the driver bring a ladder in his car? He wanted to step up his driving skills!

Driver Joke Generator

Finding the right words for a driving joke can sometimes be as tricky as navigating through rush hour traffic.

(Am I right?)

That’s where our FREE Driver Joke Generator comes to your rescue.

Engineered to merge witty puns, high-speed humor, and amusing catchphrases, it generates jokes that are sure to ignite laughter.

Don’t let your humor stall and rust.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as sharp and entertaining as your driving skills.

FAQs About Driver Jokes

Why are driver jokes so popular?

Driver jokes are popular because almost everyone can relate to them.

Whether someone is a driver themselves, knows a driver, or has simply been a passenger, they can find humor in these jokes.

They also tap into our shared experiences with traffic, road trips, and quirky car habits.

Can driver jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Driver jokes can be a great ice-breaker in a variety of social situations, especially during car trips or hangouts.

They can lighten the mood and bring people together over shared, often comical, driving experiences.

How can I come up with my own driver jokes?

Think about common driving scenarios—getting lost, traffic jams, car malfunctions, etc.
Consider the lingo associated with driving (e.g., gear, clutch, reverse). Look for homophones or amusing phrases involving these words.
Reflect on the context of your joke. Is it an over-the-top road rage incident? Or a funny driving lesson? Adapt your humor to match this mood.
Twist a popular saying or phrase to incorporate driving elements.
Embrace puns and wordplay. Driver jokes are perfect for some linguistic fun!