831 Facial Hair Jokes to Tickle Your Mustache

If you’ve found this page, it means you’re ready to trim into the world of facial hair jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the whiskers of wit.

That’s why we’ve shaven down a list of the most hilarious facial hair jokes.

From mustache merriment to beard banter, our compilation has a joke for every stage of stubble.

So, let’s shear into the bristly bunch of facial hair humor, one joke at a time.

Facial Hair Jokes

Facial Hair Jokes are the quirky humor you didn’t know you needed!

These jokes are not just about the beard or mustache itself, but the stereotypes, challenges, and eccentricities associated with them.

Whether it’s the hipster beard craze, the eternal struggle of achieving the perfect trim, or even the odd soup-stuck-in-the-beard scenario – the world of facial hair offers a plethora of funny situations.

Creating the perfect facial hair joke involves a good dose of puns, a twist of situational humor, and a hint of the unexpected – like the sudden realization of how much food a beard can hide!

Are you ready to ‘stache up some fun?

Let’s ‘shave’ off the seriousness and dive into these hilarious facial hair jokes:

• Why was the bearded man always smiling? He “whiskered” away all his worries!
• Why don’t hipsters like mustaches? Because they can’t handle the hairy responsibility!
• What do you call a mustache that can play a musical instrument? A musician-stache!
• Why did the mustache have trouble finding a date? It was always too “stachy” for its own good!
• What did the beard say to the mirror? “Nice to finally meet a reflection of my awesomeness!”
• Why did the mustache join a band? It wanted to “stache” its musical talents!
• What do you call it when a beard has a bad hair day? A frizz-tache!
• Why did the clean-shaven man start a hair salon? He wanted to make a close shave…literally!
• What did the beard say to the mustache? We mustache each other for forgiveness because we’ve been whiskering away our problems!
• Why did the mustache get a promotion? Because it had the perfect blend of professionalism and whisker charm!
• Why did the beard join a band? Because it wanted to strum up some chin-spiring music!
• How do you get a mustache to smile? Say cheese-grin!
• Why did the barber always win at poker? Because he had a good “poker face” full of facial hair!
• How do you turn a beard into a goldfish? Put it in water and watch it become a “fish-tache”!
• Why did the clean-shaven man get a job at the bakery? He kneaded dough, not facial hair!
• Why do hipsters prefer clean-shaven faces? Because they can’t handle the irony of a trendy beard.
• What do you call a bearded snowman? Frosty the “Face”man!
• Why did the mustache get in trouble? It was always causing a five o’clock shadow.
• What did the bearded man say to the clean-shaven man? “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!”
• Why did the clean-shaven man join a facial hair club? He wanted to “mustache” himself in a new hobby!
• Why was the beard not invited to the party? It couldn’t handle all the “razor” sharp wit.
• Why did the barber become a math teacher? Because he wanted to help people with their “beard-ract” equations!
• Why did the clean-shaven man go to the barber? He wanted a close shave… of laughter!
• What did the mustache say to the beard? “I mustache you to stop hogging all the attention!”
• Why did the beard bring a ladder to the desert? To comb through the cacti and find the perfect grooming spot!
• Why did the barber go broke? He couldn’t make enough “razor-sharp” puns to cut it!
• Why was the beard sad? It had been “razor”-napped!
• What do you call a barber who can’t grow facial hair? A barberian!
• What do you call a bearded fisherman? The master of the sea… and facial hair.
• What do you call a beard that’s running late? Tardy fur-y!
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? Because it was caught “stache-ing” out of line!
• Why don’t mustaches ever get into arguments? They always find a common hair.
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it was invited to the “whisker” and it couldn’t “shave” it for later!
• Why did the bearded man join a rock band? He wanted to be part of a “hair”-raising experience!
• What did one facial hair say to the other? “We mustache ourselves if we’re the funniest duo in town!”
• How does a mustache get around town? By mustache-lift!
• Why did the facial hair go to the comedy club? It wanted to see if it could “whisker” away the audience’s boredom!
• What did one mustache say to the other mustache? We mustache each other a question!
• What do you call a beard that plays the guitar? A stringy musician with a hairy strumming style!
• Why did the mustache bring a ladder to the bar? Because it wanted to “mustache” the bartender for a drink!
• Why did the razor go to the barber’s party? It wanted to cut loose and have a little shave-n-dance!
• Why did the hipster’s beard join a band? Because it was into the ‘barber’ shop quartet!
• Why did the beard go to the party alone? Because it didn’t want any of its friends to moustache!
• What do you call a barber who can’t stop talking about mustaches? A whisker blabber!
• Why did the hipster get kicked out of the barber shop? He couldn’t handle the sheer awesomeness of his own facial hair.
• What do you call a mustache that loves to dance? A “stachioed” groover!
• Why did the mustache bring a ladder to the barbershop? It wanted a “high-top” fade!
• How does a mustache feel after it wins an award? It’s “hair” today, gone tomorrow!
• Why did the goatee get a promotion at work? Because it was a cut above the rest!
• What do you call a mustache that’s in charge? The whisker boss!
• Why was the beard in the library? Because it was looking for a good “whisk-read”!
• Why did the mustache take a vacation? It needed a little “time-off” from being on someone’s face!
• Why did the mustache get arrested? It was framed!
• Why did the razor go to therapy? It was feeling a bit dull and wanted to get a clean shave.
• Why did the barber win the race? Because he knew all the shortcuts, especially when it came to beard trims!
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? Because it was caught sticking its nose where it didn’t belong!
• Why did the mustache join a band? Because it wanted to “whisker” in on the music scene!
• Why was the mustache feeling rebellious? It wanted to make a “shave” of the situation!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite type of cookie? A “goatee” cookie!
• What did one whisker say to the other? “Let’s make some “face-staches” at the party!”
• Why did the bearded man join a choir? He wanted to grow a beard-o!
• Why was the goatee feeling down? Because it couldn’t make a point!
• What do you call a mustache that falls asleep? Whiskered away!
• Why did the clean-shaven man feel left out? Because he couldn’t beard the jokes!
• Why did the beard win the marathon? It had a “whisker” advantage!
• What did the beard say to the razor? “I find your cuts quite “shear” perfection!”
• Why did the mustache get in trouble at school? It couldn’t stop “razoring” its hand!
• Why did the mustache bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to go above and beyond the rest!
• What do you call a mustache that goes on vacation? A whiskercation!
• Why did the beard go to the comedy club? It wanted to tickle everyone’s funny bone with its jokes!
• Why did the beard start a band? It wanted to be a part of a well-orchestrated facial ensemble.
• Why did the barber win the race? Because he knew how to trim his facial hair and get a close shave!
• Why did the mustache become an astronaut? It wanted to explore the space between the nose and the upper lip.
• Why was the mustache feeling down? It was having a hairy bad day!
• What do you call a mustache that commits a crime? A hairy culprit!
• Why did the mustache go to the comedy club? Because it wanted to make some “whiskers”!
• What do you call a mustache that sings? A barbershop quart-hair!
• What do you call a bearded whale? A hairytale!
• Why did the mustache take a trip? It wanted to brush up on its geography and go mustache the world!
• Why did the barber win the race? He knew all the shortcuts, just like his beard.
• What do you call a bearded mermaid? A hairy potter!
• Why was the beard always a suspect in crimes? It always looked a little shady!
• Why did the beard win the lottery? Because it was a lucky “charm”!
• What did the goatee say to the mustache? We really need to trim this relationship!
• What do you call a mustache that’s on the run? A hairy fugitive!
• Why did the razor go to therapy? It had a close shave with a mustache and couldn’t handle the stubble!
• Why did the barber give up his dream of becoming a comedian? He couldn’t handle all the wisecracks about his mustache!
• Why did the beard bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to make sure it stood out and was head and shoulders above everyone else.
• Why did the clean-shaven man feel left out at the facial hair convention? Because he couldn’t “grow” with the crowd!
• Why did the barber switch careers and become a comedian? He wanted to trim beards and tell funny jokes, all in one go!
• Why did the barber start telling facial hair jokes? He wanted to keep his customers in “stitches”!
• Why did the clean-shaven man fail his audition? Because he couldn’t “mustache” the director’s expectations!
• Why did the beard refuse to go to the gym? It didn’t want to lose its “chin-tegrity!”
• Why did the barber become a stand-up comedian? Because he knew how to give a good “razor-sharp” wit!
• What did the beard say to the razor? I find you extremely shaving!
• What did one eyebrow say to the other? “Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed!”
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it’s always a good idea to bring your own “stache” of entertainment!
• Why did the mustache join a gym? It wanted to stay in tip-top shape, even when it’s not on a face!
• Why don’t mustaches ever get into arguments? Because they always find a way to brush it off!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The rollercoaster, because it’s all about the twists and turns!
• Why did the facial hair become a detective? It loved solving hairy situations!
• How does a mustache stay in shape? By doing curl-ups!
• Why did the mustache refuse to work overtime? It didn’t want to “overstache” its welcome!
• Why did the beard break up with the mustache? Because it couldn’t “stache” the relationship anymore!
• What do you call a bearded man with no mustache? He’s just beardly incomplete!
• What did one beard say to the other beard at the party? Nice to “shave” you here!
• What did the mustache say to the beard at the barbershop? “We mustache you to be patient, it’s hair-raising in here!”
• What do you call a baby with facial hair? A mustache-toddler.
• Why did the beard start a blog? It had a lot of whisker-worthy tales to share!
• Why did the mustache go on strike? It wanted better working conditions – no more soup-splashes or milk mustaches!
• Why did the barber win an award? Because he was a cut above the rest, and had the best facial hair!
• Why did the barber win an award? Because he always knows how to “trim” the right way!
• Why was the mustache a great detective? It always knew how to sniff out the clues, even in the thickest of facial hair!
• What’s a beard’s favorite exercise? Facial flexes and mustache stretches!
• Why did the clean-shaven man feel left out at the beard convention? He couldn’t quite grow on them!
• What do you call a mustache that’s made of candy? A sweet ‘stache!
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? It couldn’t beard the speed limit!
• Why was the barber always so confident? Because he knew how to “trim-umph” over any challenge!
• What did the bearded man say when he tripped over his own facial hair? “I really need to trim things down!”
• What did the mustache say to the beard during a heated argument? Let’s not split hairs, we can comb through this.+.
• Why did the mustache become a detective? It wanted to solve the case of the missing razor and bring justice to the hairy situation!
• How did the mustache become a comedian? It had a “razor-sharp” sense of humor!
• Why was the mustache always late? Because it had a “five o’clock shadow” even in the morning!
• Why did the clean-shaven man envy the bearded man? Because he couldn’t “face” the fact that he was lacking in style!
• What do you call a mustache that can’t make up its mind? A wishy-washy whisker!
• Why did the beard bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to climb to the top and be the “height” of fashion!
• What do you call it when a beard gets a promotion? Whisker business!
• Why did the beard start a band? It wanted to play some catchy facial tunes!
• Why did the beard go to the party alone? Because it didn’t want to share the spotlight with anyone else!
• Why was the clean-shaven man jealous of the man with a beard? He couldn’t handle all that “facial hair-itage”!
• How did the mustache feel about being shaved off? It was in utter whisker!
• Why did the beard start a YouTube channel? It wanted to share its “hair”-larious moments with the world!
• What do you call a mustache that tells jokes? A “whisker”d comedian!
• What do you call a mustache that gets a lot of compliments? A hairy situation!
• Why did the beard go to the gym? It wanted to get a good workout and flex its facial muscles!
• What did the beard say to the face? I mustache you to stop making silly jokes!
• How do you know a beard is serious? It grows a long face.
• Why did the mustache go to the party? It wanted to make a good impression and brush shoulders with all the other facial hair!
• Why did the clean-shaven man feel left out? Because everyone else was having a hairy good time!
• Why did the mustache cross the road? To get to the “shave” shop!
• What do you call a bearded magician? A facial hair illusionist!
• What did the bearded man say when asked about his grooming routine? “I just “whisker” my way through it!”
• Why did the beard join a band? Because it was tired of being a solo act!
• What did the mustache say to the mouth? “I mustache you to speak up, I can’t hear you over my awesomeness!”
• What did the barber say to the mustache? “Comb on, let’s make you look sharp!”
• Why did the hipster get a job at the barber shop? Because he wanted to make mustache money!
• What kind of facial hair do bees have? A “buzz” cut!

 

Short Facial Hair Jokes

Short facial hair jokes are like the perfect trim—sharp, neat, and surprisingly amusing.

These jokes are ideal for social media posts, friendly banter, or those times when you need a quick giggle to lighten the mood.

The charm of short facial hair jokes lies in their ability to be both clever and hilarious, delivering a hearty laugh in just a few lines.

And now, grab your razor and prepare to be whiskered away!

Here are short facial hair jokes that deliver a smooth punchline in just a few words.

• What’s a barber’s favorite song? “Hair today, gone tomorrow!”
• What do you call a facial hair competition? Whisker-mania!
• What do you call a bearded deer? A “goatee”!
• Why did the barber go to jail? He couldn’t handle the razor!
• How does a mustache express its love? By giving mustache kisses!
• How does a beard take a selfie? With a “shave-atar!”
• Why was the beard always late? It was always getting tangled up!
• What’s a beard’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, of course!
• What’s a pirate’s favorite type of facial hair? A goatee-arrr!
• Why did the hipster get a beard trimmer? To stay cutting-edge!
• Why was the mustache sad? It got stuck in a hairy situation!
• Why did the bearded man get a ticket? Because he couldn’t handlebar!
• What’s a barber’s favorite type of music? Facial hair metal!
• How do you make a mustache laugh? Just tickle its fancy.
• What did the goatee say to the beard? Nice to mustache you!
• How did the mustache feel after a workout? Whiskered and exhausted!
• Why did the mustache go to the police? It was framed!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? The ‘stache of the town!
• What do you call a bearded man on a motorcycle? Handle-beard!
• Why did the facial hair join a band? It had great rhythm!
• How does a barber cut a mustache? With sheer determination!
• What do you call a bearded fish? A moustache-tio!
• Why did the mustache join a band? It wanted to grow harmoniously!
• Why did the mustache become an artist? It loved to brush.
• What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? A milkshake, of course!
• Why did the bearded man join the circus? He had chincredible skills!
• Why was the man’s beard always happy? It had good chin-tuition!
• How do you fix a broken mustache? With a “mustache” tape!
• Why did the mustache win an award? It was razor-sharp and dapper!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? A hairy-tini!
• What do you call a mustache that’s on a roll? A “whisker-doodle”!
• Why did the sideburns file a police report? They were framed.
• Why did the barber become a magician? He could make hair disappear!
• Why was the mustache laughing? Because it was tickled pink!
• Why did the mustache feel left out? It couldn’t beard the rejection!
• Why did the beard join a band? It had great “mustach-ical” talent!
• What do you call a mustache with a personality? A charismat-ache!
• What do you call a bearded fisherman? A hook line and whisker!
• Why was the beard always late? It couldn’t find a razor!
• Why was the mustache in detention? It couldn’t make the beard!
• What’s a beard’s favorite exercise? Facial Flexercise!
• How does a mustache greet a beard? With a handlebar shake!
• Why don’t barbers ever go broke? They always make a clean cut!
• What do you call a beard that tells secrets? A whisker blabber!
• Why did the barber win an award? He always cuts it close!
• What do you call a mustache with no home? A homeless hair-lip!
• What’s a hipster’s favorite facial hair style? An ironic mustache!
• What do you call a bearded man who loses his razor? Homeless!
• What do you call a bearded fisherman? A facial hair-net!
• What’s a barber’s favorite type of pasta? Shavetti!
• What’s a razor’s favorite type of music? “Barber”-shop quartets!
• Why did the scarecrow shave his beard? He wanted a clean cut!

 

Facial Hair Jokes One-Liners

Facial hair jokes one-liners are like a well-groomed beard – they’re amusing, sharp, and can certainly tickle your humor senses.

They are the comedic equivalent of pulling off a stylish moustache or a full beard, captivating, original and effortlessly fun.

Creating a good one-liner involves a fusion of whimsical creativity, crisp wording, and a deep-rooted love for wordplay.

The goal is to pack a setup and punchline into a neat, trimmed package, offering maximum laughter with minimal verbosity.

May these facial hair one-liners provoke a laughter as hearty as a lumberjack’s beard:

• My beard told me it wanted to be famous, so I took it to a salon and now it has its own Instagram account.
• My beard is my secret weapon against cold weather, it’s like having a built-in scarf.
• My facial hair is like a mood ring. The longer it gets, the less I care.
• I grew a mustache once, but it looked more like a caterpillar having an identity crisis.
• You know what they say, a beard without mustache is just a goatee missing its soulmate.
• My mustache is so luxurious, it needs its own stylist.
• My mustache is so thin, it’s more like a must-do.
• My beard is not just a fashion statement; it’s a hairy commitment.
• Why don’t beards ever make good secret agents? They’re always getting caught in the five o’clock shadow!
• My beard is my best friend, it never complains about my terrible fashion choices.
• I asked my beard for fashion advice, and it said, “Just grow with the flow.” Easier said than done!
• I tried growing a goatee, but everyone just thought I had a tiny dog on my chin.
• Why was the barber’s mustache always perfect? Because it had a comb-over!
• My beard is my secret identity.
• I grew a beard to look more like a wise man, but now I just look like a confused lumberjack.
• My beard grows in all directions, like a rebellious shrub on my face.
• I tried to grow a mustache, but it just made me look like I had a caterpillar on my face.
• Facial hair is my secret identity. Without it, I’m just Clark Kent.
• My mustache is so thick, it could be used as a broom to sweep the floor.
• I tried waxing my mustache, but now I’m stuck in a hairy situation.
• My beard is not just facial hair, it’s a personality trait.
• I once had a beard so epic that people would stop and ask for selfies. Now they just stop and ask if I’m Amish.
• My facial hair is like a sneaky ninja – it appears overnight when I least expect it.
• My facial hair is my superpower – it makes me instantly recognizable in a crowd of clean-shaven faces.
• My mustache always gets compliments, especially from my nose hair.
• I tried growing a mustache, but it just didn’t mustache up to my expectations.
• Beard: because sometimes your chin needs a cozy sweater too.
• I tried to shave off my beard once, but my face revolted and grew it back overnight. Apparently, it’s a union thing.
• My mustache and I are in a committed relationship, we’re never going to split hairs.
• My beard is like a forest – it’s wild, untamed, and occasionally home to small woodland creatures.
• I told my mustache to take a break, and now it’s growing a vacation beard.
• I grew a beard because it’s the only way I could hide my double chin.
• My beard is the only thing that can make me look both sophisticated and homeless at the same time.
• My barber told me I needed a new hairstyle. I told him, “Nah, just give me a goatee!”
• They say a beard adds character… well, mine must be a Shakespearean tragedy.
• My beard is like a lion’s mane, only less intimidating and more patchy.
• My mustache and I are a package deal.
• Why did the barber become a chef? He wanted to make hair soup-reme!
• I grew a beard to protect my chin from getting cold. Turns out, it’s also great for smuggling snacks!
• I tried growing a beard, but it just wasn’t my style. It was more of a goatee-ta.
• I shaved off my beard once, and my face instantly became unrecognizable to my own mother.
• My mustache is so thin, it’s like a hipster trying to grow a man bun with only one strand of hair.
• My beard is so magical, it can hold a whole buffet of crumbs without anyone noticing!
• My beard is like a pet, it needs to be fed and groomed regularly.
• My mustache is my greatest asset. It’s like my upper lip’s own personal superhero cape.
• I asked my beard if it wanted to go out for a drink, but it said it was already whiskered.
• My facial hair grows so slowly, I have to water it daily to keep it alive.
• I tried growing a beard, but it turns out I have more face than hair.
• I tried to join a beard club, but they said I wasn’t quite hairy enough to be a member.
• I decided to grow a mustache, but then I realized I couldn’t handle the mustache rides.
• I grew a beard because I was tired of people mistaking me for a 12-year-old.
• I asked my barber for a beard trim, and now I look like a pre-pubescent Amish boy.
• My beard is not a fashion statement; it’s a way of life.
• I grew a mustache, now I look like a cross between Tom Selleck and a creepy uncle.
• My mustache and I have a love-hate relationship. I love it, and it hates being trimmed!
• I have a love-hate relationship with my beard. It loves growing in weird directions, and I hate trying to tame it.
• Beards are great until you try to eat soup and end up wearing it instead.
• Why did the beard go to the party? Because it heard there would be a five o’clock shadow!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite dessert? A chocolate chip cookie duster.
• I’ve been growing a beard for years, and I still can’t decide if I look more like a lumberjack or a wizard.
• I grew a mustache, but it just made me look like a hairy-lipped potato.
• My facial hair is proof that my body has a sense of humor, it thinks I need more insulation on my face.
• My mustache has its own fan club – it’s called the “Upper Lip Appreciation Society.”
• Beard: the closest I’ll ever get to having a pet.
• I tried growing a beard, but it just made me look like a confused hedgehog.
• My beard is my secret weapon for hiding food crumbs during a meal.
• I shaved my beard off once, and suddenly my jawline looked as lost as a GPS without signal.
• Did you hear about the mustache that got promoted? It was hair-raising!
• I asked my beard if it wanted a trim, and it replied, “I don’t give a whisker!”
• My mustache brings all the girls to the yard.
• My mustache is like a fancy bird’s nest, it’s always full of surprises and tiny critters.
• I decided to shave my beard to look more youthful, but now I just look like a confused toddler.
• My beard is my secret weapon. It’s like a disguise for my face, but it’s also kind of itchy.
• Beards are the ultimate fashion statement for lazy shavers.
• Having a beard is like having a pet on your face, except it doesn’t shed and doesn’t need to be walked.
• I tried to grow a goatee, but it ended up looking more like a goat-tee.
• My beard is my best friend. It’s always there, even when nobody else is.
• They say a man’s beard is a reflection of his personality. If that’s true, I must be one wild and untamed individual.
• My facial hair is so wild, it should come with its own zookeeper.
• I’ve been growing a beard for so long, I think it has its own zip code now.
• Why did the man with a beard join the circus? He wanted to brush up on his skills!
• I had a beard once, but then I realized I was just collecting food for later.
• Beards may not make you a better person, but they sure make you look like one.
• I tried to grow a beard, but it ended up looking more like a lawn with patches of bald spots.
• I tried growing a mustache, but it just looked like I had a caterpillar on my lip.
• My mustache is my secret identity. Without it, I’m just a regular, smooth-faced guy.
• My facial hair is like a built-in napkin, it always catches all my food before it reaches my mouth.
• I grew a beard because I wanted to look more manly, but all I got was a bunch of hair on my face.
• If you can’t grow a beard, just draw one with a permanent marker. It’s all about the commitment.
• My mustache is so good at math, it can count the hairs on my chin.
• I grew a beard because I couldn’t find a chin.
• I’ve been growing a beard for so long that I’ve forgotten what my chin looks like.
• My facial hair is like a pet – it requires constant grooming and has a tendency to shed everywhere.
• I asked my barber for a new look, and he gave me a beard. Now I can’t find my chin!
• People say I should shave my beard, but I think they’re just jealous of my face blanket.
• I asked my barber for a mustache trim, but he just shaved the rest of my face.
• I told my beard it needed a trim, but it just brushed me off.
• Forget about Santa Claus, I’m pretty sure I could deliver presents with my beard.
• My facial hair has a mind of its own. It’s like a rebellious teenager that refuses to follow any rules or grooming products.
• My mustache is so big, it has its own gravitational pull.
• Having a beard is like having a built-in napkin for food emergencies.
• Beard: the only thing that can make a 5 o’clock shadow look good at 9 AM.
• My facial hair grows so slowly, it’s like watching grass grow on a turtle’s back.
• My beard is so majestic, it should have its own theme song.
• I saw a man with a beard made entirely of bubbles, turns out he was just a soap opera star.
• I tried to grow a beard, but it just ended up looking like a caterpillar got lost on my face.
• My facial hair is like a garden – it grows wild and needs constant trimming.
• I tried growing a beard, but all I got was a goatee-tache.
• My beard is so thick, I’ve considered using it as a pillow.
• My facial hair has a mind of its own – it’s always making split ends decisions!
• What do you call a bearded horse? A mane attraction!
• I tried to grow a mustache, but it looked more like two caterpillars having a wrestling match on my upper lip.
• My facial hair is the only thing that can make me look wise, even though I still can’t figure out how to tie a tie.
• I asked my barber for a beard trim, and he gave me a goatee. I guess he misunderstood the meaning of “trim.”
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• Beards are great until you try to eat a bowl of soup and end up with a flavor saver.
• People say a man’s beard represents wisdom, but mine just represents laziness.
• My facial hair is a work of art. It’s like a sculpted masterpiece, created by laziness and forgetfulness.
• My beard is so big, I have to file a separate tax return for it.
• I used to think growing a beard would make me look sophisticated. Turns out, it just made me look like a lumberjack wannabe!
• My mustache and I are two separate entities, but we have a close shave.
• Beards are like snowflakes – no two are exactly the same, but they all make you look awesome.
• Why did the mustache fail the test? It couldn’t handle the stress-tache!
• My facial hair is like a secret society. Only the best mustache gets in.
• I don’t always shave, but when I do, it’s usually just to see if my chin is still there.
• Beards are like plants: they need constant grooming and occasionally attract birds.
• I like to think of my beard as a stylish disguise for my lack of chin definition.
• A mustache is just a tiny broom for your upper lip.
• Why did the beard cross the road? To get to the hipster coffee shop on the other side!
• My mustache is so thin, it’s practically just a punctuation mark on my face.
• Why did the mustache go to therapy? It had too many split ends.
• My mustache is so epic that it has its own zip code.
• Some people say my beard makes me look older. I say it just makes me look wise enough to not care about looking older.
• Did you hear about the guy who invented a comb for his beard? He really combed through his options.
• Mustaches are like built-in strainers for soup lovers.
• Beards are like onions – they have layers, and they sometimes make you cry.
• I went to a beard competition, but I couldn’t enter because my facial hair was too beardly.
• I asked the barber to give me a cool mustache, so he gave me a frozen one.
• My facial hair is like a forest – it’s full of surprises and a little scary to get lost in.
• I asked my barber to give me a mustache that screams “confidence,” but I think he misheard and gave me one that screams “creepy.”
• My beard is my best friend, but it’s starting to get a little hairy.
• I grew a beard, but it just wasn’t a good look. Now I have to shave twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon.
• Mustaches are just mustaches, but mustaches spelled with a silent “awesomeness”
• I grew a beard, but it just wasn’t my style. It was too hair-raising.
• My beard is like a GPS for food, it always ends up with crumbs in it!
• I’m not just growing a beard; I’m cultivating a face jungle.
• My facial hair is like a bad breakup, it starts off with a few stray hairs, and suddenly it’s all over my face.
• My facial hair is like a chia pet. Except it’s on my face and doesn’t need watering.
• I tried to make my beard grow faster, but apparently, it’s not a fan of fertilizer.
• Having facial hair is great, until you try to eat soup and end up with a hairy mess.
• I grew a mustache to look more sophisticated, but now I just look like I belong in a 70s cop show.
• I tried to grow a beard, but it just came out looking like a cactus wearing a wig.
• My girlfriend loves my beard, but hates it when it tickles her during a kiss.
• My facial hair grows so slowly, I feel like I’m on a never-ending beard journey.
• I tried to grow a goatee, but it just ended up looking like a lonely eyebrow on my chin.
• I tried growing a beard, but all I got was a face full of stray hairs.
• Facial hair: because nobody wants to kiss a naked face.
• I tried growing a beard, but I ended up looking like a lost member of ZZ Top.
• My beard is so manly, it can grow a mustache on its own.
• I asked my beard if it wanted to grab a drink, but it just said, “I’ll whisker it over.”
• My beard is my secret weapon for hiding crumbs from my late-night snacking.
• I may not have a six-pack, but I have a one-pack of facial hair.
• My mustache asked me if it looked good, and I said, “It’s growing on me.”
• My mustache and I are in a committed relationship – it’s a hairy situation.
• I grew a beard because it’s the closest I can get to having a pet on my face.
• My facial hair is so thick, I need a weed whacker to trim it.
• Did you hear about the bearded woman who joined a circus? She really got a hairy promotion.
• Facial hair: the original hipster accessory.
• My mustache is my secret stash for crumbs.
• I grew a beard to be more hipster, but now I can’t drink my coffee without getting grounds in it.
• My beard is not just an accessory, it’s a lifestyle.
• Beard: because growing a personality takes too long.
• My beard is my best friend – it’s always there to cover up any food I accidentally spill on myself.
• Beards are like onions, they have layers.
• Why did the facial hair join the circus? It wanted to be a beard-e-ful performer!
• Beards are great, until you accidentally store food in them for later.
• I don’t always grow a beard, but when I do, I become an instant hipster.
• I asked my barber to give me a mustache that would make Tom Selleck jealous. Now I just look like I’m smuggling caterpillars on my upper lip.
• My beard is like a forest – it keeps growing and never stops!
• My beard is like a superhero, it saves me from ever having a defined jawline.
• My mustache is like a magnet for soup, it attracts every drop from my spoon.
• What do you call a beard with a sense of humor? Laugh fuzz!
• My facial hair is so sparse, I have to draw on my eyebrows with a pencil… and then erase them for a fresh start.
• Beards are just the grown-up version of a food-catching bib.
• I don’t always have facial hair, but when I do, I become the most interesting man in the room.
• The mustache said to the beard, “You’re so hairy, you make me must-ache!”
• My beard is like a fingerprint; it’s unique and makes it nearly impossible for people to recognize me without it.
• I tried to impress a girl with my beard, but she just said, “Nice try, but Santa called and wants his facial hair back.”
• Why did the barber become a fisherman? He wanted to catch some chinook salmon.
• I asked my barber for a beard trim, and he gave me a whole new face.
• My mustache is so thin, I have to feed it with an eyedropper.
• I decided to grow a goatee, but now I look like a villain in an ’80s movie.
• My facial hair is so majestic, it has its own fan club.
• I asked my beard for some advice, but it just brushed me off.
• They say that facial hair makes a man look mature, but all it does is make me look like a hairy baby.
• Beards are like a canvas for food. It’s a hairy buffet for leftovers.
• I saw a guy with a beard so majestic it had its own zip code.
• Beards are like a magical disguise for double chins.
• My facial hair is like a forest – it’s wild, untamed, and full of hidden surprises!
• Facial hair: the only thing I can grow effortlessly.
• A beard is like a turtleneck for your face.
• My mustache is like a magic trick, it disappears every time I try to grow it.
• The only thing sharper than my wit is my mustache.
• Beards are like an instant upgrade to the face, like a software update for your looks.
• My beard is so legendary, it has its own mythology.
• Beard: Because every face deserves a curtain.
• I asked my barber for a goatee, but he gave me a goat instead. Talk about a hairy situation!
• My facial hair has a better social life than I do. It’s always invited to parties!

 

Facial Hair Dad Jokes

Facial Hair dad jokes are the epitome of humor that combines lighthearted puns and playful banter, inducing both a chuckle and a facepalm.

They’re the type of jokes that are so laughably terrible, they’re absolutely brilliant.

These jokes are perfect for family reunions, casual chats with friends, or simply to bring a grin to someone’s day.

Prepare yourself for a barrage of good-natured groaning.

Here are some facial hair dad jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone:

• Why do pirates make great facial hair stylists? Because they’re always up for a little arrrrrrrrrr-tistic expression.
• Why did the beard go to the party alone? Because it wanted to make a clean shave of the dance floor!
• What did the clean-shaven guy say to the bearded guy? “I bet you can’t mustache a better joke than me!”
• What do you call a bearded man who can play the guitar? A mustachioed maestro!
• Why do mustaches make great detectives? They always know how to sniff out the clues!
• Why did the bearded man go to the dentist? To get a brush-up on his mustache!
• Why did the clean-shaven man feel left out? He couldn’t join the “whisker club”!
• Why was the beard always late for work? Because it couldn’t find a good time to beard!
• What did the bearded man say to the clean-shaven guy? “I mustache you to grow some facial hair!”
• Why did the clean-shaven man go to the wig store? Because he wanted to try out a new ‘facial disguise’!
• Why did the beard bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to get a head above the rest!
• Why did the scarecrow shave off his beard? Because he wanted to keep abreast of the latest trends in the crop!
• Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
• What’s the best way to style a beard? With a pair of whiskers!
• Why did the beard get a promotion at work? Because it always had a “whisker” of innovative ideas!
• What do you call a mustache that you can’t see? A shadow of its former self!
• Why did the beard join the circus? Because it wanted to become a lion’s mane attraction!
• What did the bearded man say to his razor? “I mustache you to take it easy on me!”
• What do you call a bearded snake? A hiss-ter!
• Why did the bearded man go to the barber? Because he wanted to “split hairs” with him!
• Why did the hipster go broke? He couldn’t beard his expenses.
• Why did the beard cross the road? To get to the barber shop for a trim!
• Why did the goatee join a band? It had great strumming skills on the guitar strings!
• Why did the bearded man always carry a comb? He liked to comb-over any potential problems!
• Why was the mustache feeling down? It felt like it couldn’t grow a-moustache!
• Why did the bearded man join the circus? He wanted to be a hair-o!
• Why was the mustache always late? It always got caught up in a hairy situation!
• Why did the mustache get a promotion? Because it was well-groomed for success!
• What did one sideburn say to the other? We make the perfect ‘pair’ of facial hair!
• Why did the barber win the race? Because he knew all the shortcuts and had a close shave!
• Why did the beard go to the bank? It wanted to make a deposit, but it didn’t have a good shave account.
• Why did the mustache go to the hospital? Because it felt a little under the weather.
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it wanted to ‘stache the dance floor!
• What do you call a bearded pirate? Captain “Whiskerbeard”!
• Why did the clean-shaven man get a facial hair tattoo? Because he wanted to make a permanent five o’clock shadow!
• What do you call a group of mustaches hanging out together? A whisker conference!
• Why did the barber win the beard competition? Because he knew how to make the cut!
• Why did the goatee never get in trouble? Because it always followed the law and was well-behaved!
• What do you call a bearded math teacher? The professor of algebraic beards.
• Why did the barber win an award? Because he knew how to make the cutest mustaches!
• Why do mustaches make terrible detectives? Because they always get caught in the five o’clock shadow!
• What do you call a group of bearded men singing in harmony? A “barber-shop quart-hair”!
• What did the bearded man say when he got a promotion? My career is really growing on me.
• Why did the man put his mustache in the freezer? Because he wanted some cool facial hair!
• Why did the barber get arrested? He was caught giving bad shaves and creating hairy situations!
• What do you call a beard that’s a good listener? A ‘hearing’ aid!
• Why did the beard apply for a job as a painter? It wanted to brush up on its skills!
• What do you call a beard that just won an award? A prize-winning goatee.
• Why did the mustache refuse to go to the party? Because it didn’t want to get lip-locked!
• Why did the barber become a musician? Because he knew how to “comb” the notes perfectly!
• Why was the bearded man always happy? Because his facial hair was always growing on him!
• How does a beard turn into a butterfly? Through wax-tation!
• What did one strand of beard hair say to the other? “I mustache you a question.”
• Why don’t beards ever get into trouble? Because they always stay out of hairy situations!
• Why did the mustache bring a ladder to the bar? Because it heard the drinks were ‘on the house’!
• Why did the beard break up with the goatee? Because they just couldn’t seem to grow together!
• Why did the mustache start a band? Because it had a good set of chops.
• What’s a mustache’s favorite dance move? The “stache and twirl!”
• Why do barbers make great comedians? Because they know how to deliver a good mustache-tache!
• What do you call a beard that you can’t see? Invisi-beard!
• Why did the bearded man become an artist? Because he knew how to “brush” up on his skills!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite type of candy? Mustache-licks!
• Why did the facial hair throw a party? It wanted to celebrate its “stache-tastic” style!
• Why did the barber become a comedian? He always knew how to make a clean shave!
• Why did the mustache bring a ladder to the barbershop? Because it wanted a little trim on the top shelf!
• Why did the bearded man bring a ladder to the barbershop? Because he wanted a high-fidelity trim!
• Why did the goatee start a garden? Because it wanted to grow some ‘sage’ advice!
• Why did the mustache go to school? Because it wanted to get smarter and beard-ucated!
• How do you make facial hair disappear? Put it in the freezer until it becomes an ice-stache!
• Why did the beard go to the gym? Because it wanted to work on its curling skills!
• What do you call a beard that tells jokes? A pun-cho of facial hair!
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it was always ready to have a good time!
• Why don’t goatees make good comedians? Because their jokes tend to be too “goatee-ious” for most people!
• Why did the bearded man become a detective? He had a nose for “whisker-y” business!
• Why did the barber win the race? Because he knew how to handle the razor-sharp turns!
• Why did the hipster shave his beard? Because he wanted to grow it ironically.
• Why do beards make great detectives? Because they always know when something is fishy!
• What do you call a mustache that is a detective? An inspector ‘stache!
• Why did the beard win the award? Because it was the most out-standing in its field!
• How does a mustache stay in shape? It mustache regularly!
• Why don’t beards go to parties? Because they always get the cold shoulder!
• What do you call a mustache that can play musical instruments? A “beard of all trades”!
• Why did the hair on my chin decide to retire? It was ready for some “beard” relaxation!
• Why did the bearded man go to the zoo? Because he heard they had a “stache” of animals.
• Why did the beard go to the comedy club? Because it heard there would be lots of “razor-sharp” wit!
• Why was the clean-shaven man jealous of his friend’s beard? Because he couldn’t handle the hairy situation!
• Why did the bearded man become a chef? Because he loved creating whisker-licking good meals!
• Why did the mustache go to the party alone? Because it wanted to “mingle” with the crowd!
• Why did the mustache take up gardening? Because it wanted to grow a beard of roses!
• What’s a bearded man’s favorite type of music? Whisker-y tunes!
• Why did the beard go to the barber? Because it needed a little trim-ming.
• Why was the barber always happy? Because he knew how to make every shave a close shave!
• What do you call a beard that plays guitar? A mustache-tro!
• What do you call a bearded mathematician? An algeb-beard-ian!
• Why did the beard visit the dentist? It needed a little trim and floss!
• What do you call a mustache that plays guitar? A “strumming” stache!
• Why did the mustache become a detective? Because it always knew how to comb through evidence!
• Why was the bearded man always the center of attention? Because he had a magnetic personality!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite type of food? Handlebarbeque!
• What do you call a hair salon for men with beards? A beard-er shop!
• Why did the clean-shaven man envy the bearded man? Because he “mustache himself” why he couldn’t grow one!
• What’s the secret to growing a great beard? Patience, it’s a hairy situation.
• Why did the hipster refuse to shave his beard? He didn’t want to be a smooth operator!
• What do you call a facial hair style that’s never late? A beard-o’clock shadow!
• Why was the beard awarded a medal? Because it was a “mane” attraction!
• Why did the mustache start a band? Because it had “musical bristles”!
• Why do mustaches make terrible detectives? Because they always mustache the wrong questions.
• Why did the mustache get a promotion? It was always “razor sharp” in its work!
• Why did the bearded man have trouble finding a job? Because he couldn’t “beard” the interview process!
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? Because it was caught going over the upper-lip limit!
• What do you call a bearded man who can juggle? A “whisker-dextrous”!
• Why did the beard break up with the goatee? Because it just couldn’t handle the whisker pressure!
• What do you call a mustache that has a PhD? A “wise-guy” beard!
• Why did the barber win an award for his facial hair? Because he was “cutting-edge”!
• Why did the hipster lose his beard? Because he couldn’t find it in his mustache-case!
• Why did the beard go to the barbershop? It wanted a little off the top and a trim on the sides!
• Why did the mustache cross the road? To go mustache the other side!
• What do you call a bearded man who can also cook? A grill sergeant!
• Why did the mustache go to the police station? It wanted to report a hairy crime!
• What do you call a bear without any facial hair? A bare-faced grizzly!
• Why did the barber win the facial hair competition? He knew how to trim and beard it!
• Why did the barber win the award for best facial hair? He really knew how to “clip” the competition!
• Why did the man with the mustache always win at poker? Because he had a few extra face cards.
• What do you call a bearded man who can solve complex math problems? An algebra-fuzzed genius!
• Why did the mustache go to the barber? Because it wanted a trim-tastic makeover!
• Why did the bearded man go to the dentist? He wanted a mustache-ache!
• Why did the mustache refuse to go on a roller coaster? It didn’t want to lose its curl!
• Why was the bearded man always mistaken for a magician? His facial hair had a wand-erful effect!
• Why did the mustache become a detective? It was great at finding ‘stache and clues!
• Why did the barber win the race? Because he knew how to trim his whiskers and shave seconds off his time!
• Why did the beard join a gym? It wanted to get in shape for the facial hair marathon!
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it knew it would always be the center of ‘stache!
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it heard it was going to be a “whisker-doo!”
• Why did the mustache join a gym? Because it wanted to “curl” up with some weights!
• Why do mustaches make terrible comedians? Because they always “stache” their punchlines!
• Why was the mustache feeling down? Because it was “stubble-ing” with self-esteem issues!
• Why did the mustache join a band? Because it knew it could always find a good pick with its strings!
• How do you know if a beard is unhappy? It looks a little down in the bristles!
• Why did the beard go to the concert? It wanted to rock out with its locks out!
• Why did the beard join a band? Because it wanted to play the sideburns!
• Why did the facial hair become a detective? Because it was good at following mustache clues!
• Why was the mustache always late? It took too long to groom itself in the mirror!
• Why did the hipster go to the art museum? He heard they had some “fine” mustaches on display!
• What did the beard say to the razor? I’m not going anywhere, I’m just a cut above the rest!
• Why was the mustache getting a divorce? It just couldn’t seem to grow together with its partner!
• Why did the mustache become a teacher? Because it had a lot of class!
• Why did the beard go to the art gallery? Because it wanted to brush up on its ‘stubble’ techniques!
• Why did the man with a beard never get a job? Because he couldn’t handle the razor-sharp deadlines!
• Why did the beard go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a bit “follically-challenged”!
• What do you call a hairy king? The lord of the bristles.
• Why did the beard join a band? Because it heard they were playing ‘stache and roll music!
• Why did the barber get into trouble with the law? He was caught “manslaughtering” facial hair!
• Why are beards like math problems? They both need a solution.
• Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short cut!

 

Facial Hair Jokes for Kids

Facial hair jokes for kids are like the fuzzy monsters of humor land—endearing, unexpected, and always tickling the funny bone of the little ones.

These jokes help children to experiment with words and appreciate the whimsy of puns, cultivating a sense of humor that’s as growing as the stubble on dad’s face.

Moreover, facial hair jokes for kids can turn a seemingly boring topic like grooming into a subject of hilarity.

They even offer a light-hearted way to introduce children to the concept of growing up.

So, are you ready to have your kids laughing their mustaches off?

Here are the jokes that will have them rolling with laughter over their razor-free fun:

• What do you call a beard that can sing? A barbershop quartet!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite candy? A mustache-twizzler!
• Why did the beard join a band? It wanted to have some mustache-ical fun.
• Why was the mustache sad? It felt follically challenged!
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? It was caught for jay-walking on someone’s face!
• What do you call a beard that’s always making jokes? A funny facial-hair!
• How do you greet a mustache? With a hairy hello!
• What did the beard say to the razor? “You can’t handle the “beardness”!”
• What did the mustache say to the beard? You’re really growing on me!
• Why do beards make terrible detectives? Because they always seem to go undercover!
• What did the beard say to the mustache? “Let’s stick together and be the most awesome facial hair duo!”
• Why did the beard get in trouble at school? It was always talking back to the teacher!
• Why do beards make great detectives? They always have a good lead!
• What did the mustache say to the mirror? “I mustache you to reflect on how fabulous I look!”
• Why did the goatee get a ticket? It was parked in a beard zone!
• Why did the beard visit the barbershop? To get a little trim and root beer!
• What do you call a mustache that likes to ride a bike? A “handle-bar”ber!
• Why did the mustache join a band? Because it had great sax appeal!
• What do you call a mustache that’s always in a hurry? A quick-stache!
• Why did the mustache join the circus? Because it wanted to become a “hair”-raising acrobat!
• Why did the mustache go to the doctor? It had a “split” end!
• Why did the mustache win the race? Because it had a head start!
• What is a mustache’s favorite drink? Root BEER!
• Why did the mustache refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to deal with any shuffling!
• How do you make a mustache smile? Turn it into a beard!
• What did the mustache say to the eyebrows? “I mustache you to raise the bar on your style!”
• What do you call a beard that can juggle? A “whisker-wizard”!
• Why did the beard go to the concert? To see the band, Whisker Sisters!
• What did one mustache say to the other mustache at the party? “We really “mustache” this place fun!”.
• Why did the mustache join the circus? It wanted to be part of the “hair-raising” acts!
• Why did the beard bring a ladder to the barber shop? It wanted a trim that was a cut above the rest!
• What do you call a mustache that is always late? A slow-grower!
• Why did the mustache become a detective? Because it wanted to “stache” out the clues!
• Why did the barber become a baseball player? Because he knew how to handle a razor-sharp “chin music”!
• Why did the mustache join a band? It wanted to make some hairy music!
• Why did the beard skip the gym? Because it already had a “chin”-credible workout!
• Why did the beard go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a date, it was a real loner!
• Why did the beard bring a pen and paper to the party? It wanted to jot down all the compliments!
• What kind of facial hair do ghosts have? Boo-tiful beards!
• Why did the mustache go to the theater? It wanted to see a must-see performance!
• What do you call a clean-shaven man? A bare-faced joker!
• Why did the mustache take a nap? It was too tired to stay up and must-rest!
• What do you call a beard that’s always running late? Five o’clock shadow!
• What did the barber say to the mustache? Let me trim you a little, so you can be a cut above the rest!
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it heard there would be a lot of whiskers there!
• Why did the beard go to the barbershop? It needed a trim to “shave” the day!
• What did the mustache say to the beard? “We make an awesome “shave-ing” duo!”.
• Why did the beard become a detective? It always had a close shave with crime!
• What do you call a mustache that takes a lot of selfies? A self-stache!
• What do you get if you cross a beard with a moustache? A hairy situation!
• What do you call a beard that you can trust? A reliable whisker!
• How does a mustache stay in shape? It curls its hair with a dumb-bell comb!
• Why was the beard always so busy? It had a lot on its plate!
• Why did the goatee need a vacation? It was getting tired of always being on the chin!
• What do you call a beard that’s on fire? A hot fuzz!
• How does a beard send a letter? It uses the mustache stamp!
• How does a mustache get to work? By taking the hair bus!
• What do you call a mustache that plays football? A touchdown!
• Why did the beard bring a map to the forest? It wanted to find the perfect spot for a picnic with its mustache friends!
• Why did the beard get a ticket? It was caught speeding in the five o’clock shadow!
• Why did the beard and the moustache get into an argument? They just couldn’t see eye to eye!
• Why did the mustache go to school? To brush up on its history of famous facial hair!
• Why did the mustache visit the bank? It wanted to make a beard deposit!
• What do you call a mustache that can’t grow any hair? A broomstick!
• Why did the mustache bring a map to the party? Because it didn’t want to “stache” anyone for directions!
• What did the sideburn say to the mustache? Nice to meet you, we make a great pair!
• What do you call a beard that lives on a farm? A chin-imal!
• Why did the beard go to the zoo? It wanted to see the goatee-tor!
• Why did the mustache apply for a job at the circus? It wanted to join the whisker-taining show!
• Why did the beard bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to be a little mustache higher!
• What did the beard say to the razor? I won’t be shaven today, I’m staying sharp!
• Why was the mustache sad? Because it couldn’t grow a beard!
• What did the mustache say to the beard? “We’re cut from the same cloth, hair buddy!”
• Why was the mustache always happy? It was always “hair”larious!
• What do you call a mustache that drinks too much soda? A fizzy-lip!
• What did the mustache say to the lips? I must dash, but we should stay in touch!
• How does a mustache stay warm? It wears a whisker-muff!
• Why did the barber become a lumberjack? He wanted to trim beards in the great outdoors!
• What do you call a mustache that can drive a car? A “motor-stache”!
• Why did the man with a beard bring a ladder to the barber shop? He wanted a high-top fade!
• What do you call a mustache with a great sense of humor? A “whisker”doodle!
• Why did the beard take a nap? Because it was growing tired!
• Why did the mustache bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to be the center of a hair-raising conversation!
• What do you call a mustache that can ride a bicycle? A handlebar!
• What do you call a beard made out of feathers? A feathery-facial fuzz!
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? It was caught doing an illegal mustache-ride!
• Why did the mustache get a job at the bakery? It wanted to make gingerbread men with mustaches!
• Why did the barber win the race? Because he was always a cut above the rest!
• What did the mustache say to the razor? “I mustache you to be careful, I’m a cut above the rest!”
• What do you call a mustache that’s a great singer? A hairy Styles!
• Why was the mustache afraid of shaving cream? Because it heard it could be a close shave!
• Why did the beard get a job at the bakery? Because it knew how to roll with the “dough-stache”!
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it was invited to be the “hair” of the celebration!
• Why did the mustache get in trouble at school? Because it couldn’t “beard” the teacher’s boring lesson!
• How did the beard find a job? It applied with a cover letter!
• What type of facial hair do bees have? A bee-stache!
• Why was the beard always happy? Because it was in its prime!
• What kind of facial hair do hamburgers have? Patty-cles!
• Why did the beard bring a pen to the party? It wanted to draw attention!
• Why did the beard go to the barber? It wanted a little off the top and sides, but mostly just to chin and neck!
• What do you call a mustache that smells good? A scent-sational stache!
• Why do mustaches make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always go over your upper lip!
• Why did the mustache join the circus? It wanted to get a-hair-ial view!
• Why was the mustache always the life of the party? Because it had a lot of facial hair-raising jokes!
• Why did the mustache go to the dentist? To get a root canal!
• How did the mustache get a job at the circus? It had a hair-raising audition!
• Why did the beard go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a face to tag along with!
• What did the mustache say when it saw a bee? “Buzz off, I’m not your honey!”

 

Facial Hair Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t appreciate a hearty laugh about facial hair?

Facial Hair Jokes for adults are designed to tickle your funny bone, blending the right amount of sophistication with a whisker of mischief.

Just like a finely trimmed beard, these jokes combine elements of humor, intellect, and a pinch of audacity to create an unforgettable chuckle.

These jokes are perfect for barbecues, game nights, or even to infuse a bit of humor into a serious discussion among friends.

So, without further ado, here are some facial hair jokes that are sure to keep adults grinning from ear to ear:

• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it was a real “lip”-sync battle!
• Why did the beard go to therapy? It felt really hairy about its insecurities!
• What do you call a mustache that can play the guitar? A “pluck and strum” facial hair style!
• Why did the beard start a band? It wanted to create some follicular harmony!
• Why did the mustache go to the gym? It wanted to become a little more “fit-ting”!
• Why did the beard bring a ladder to the concert? It wanted a front row, hair-raising experience!
• Why did the hipster’s beard join a band? Because it wanted to grow its own “facial harmony”!
• Why do mustaches make terrible detectives? They always end up getting caught in a hairy situation!
• Why did the clean-shaven man feel left out at the facial hair convention? He couldn’t grow a beard to save his razor!
• What did one beard say to the other? “You really grow on me!”
• Why did the bearded man bring a ladder to the store? He needed to reach the high prices!
• Why did the beard get in trouble at school? It was caught “whiskering” answers to the test!
• Why did the barber become a gardener? He wanted to help people grow great facial foliage!
• Why was the bearded man always the life of the party? Because he knew how to grow a good time!
• Why did the bearded man always carry a comb? He wanted to “brush off” any negative vibes!
• Why did the beard break up with its owner? It couldn’t handle the constant brush-offs!
• Why did the mustache buy a ticket to the circus? It wanted to see some “hair”-raising acts!
• Why did the beard never start a career in comedy? It was afraid of getting too many ‘razor-sharp’ laughs!
• Why did the man with a mustache always wear a raincoat? He wanted to avoid any potential ‘whisker showers’!
• Why did the clean-shaven man get lost in the forest? He couldn’t find his way without any facial foliage!
• Why did the barber win the race? He had a head start with his facial hair!
• Why was the mustache always confident? Because it knew it was a cut above the rest!
• Why did the bearded man start a garden? He wanted to grow “follicles” of his own!
• What did the barber say to the bearded man who wanted a haircut? “Sorry, but I mustache you to leave your beard untouched!”
• Why did the bearded man join a band? He was hoping to get some good “hair metal”!
• What did the beard say to the mustache? “We go together like two hairs on a chin!”
• Why did the man with a beard join the circus? He wanted to be the greatest facial hair of all time!
• Why did the barber become a magician? He could turn any scruffy beard into a clean shave in just a few tricks!
• Why did the bearded man refuse to shave? He didn’t want to face the bare truth!
• Why did the mustache get a promotion? It really grew on the boss!
• Why was the beard always getting into trouble? Because it was always “hair”-assing around!
• Why did the goatee get in trouble at school? It was always “goat”ing off in class!
• What did the beard say to the mustache? “I mustache you to stop stealing my thunder!”
• Why do mustaches make terrible detectives? They always seem to “whisker” away from the truth!
• Why did the mustache go to the barber? It wanted a little off the top, a little off the bottom, and a little off the middle!
• What do you call a mustache that’s also a musician? A hairy-tist!
• Why did the clean-shaven man feel jealous? He couldn’t “stubble” the fact that others had more facial hair!
• Why was the bearded man a great chef? Because he knew how to handle all the whisks!
• What did the beard say to the mustache? I mustache you to beard with me forever!
• Why did the clean-shaven man get into a fight with his razor? It just couldn’t cut it anymore!
• Why did the bearded man cross the road? To beard the traffic!
• Why did the bearded man refuse to use a napkin? He believed in wearing his food with pride!
• What do you call a mustache that has a bad attitude? A “frustrache”!
• Why was the mustache feeling lonely? It couldn’t find a soul patch to hang out with!
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? It crossed the “fine” line!
• Why did the mustache bring a ladder? It wanted to climb to new facial hair heights!
• Why did the mustache refuse to join the circus? It didn’t want to be part of a goatee show!
• Why did the mustache start a fight? It wanted to prove it had some “stache”!
• Why did the mustache join the circus? Because it wanted to brush up on its skills!
• What did the beard say to the razor? “I’ve got you covered, buddy!”
• Why did the hipster’s beard join a band? It wanted to be a whisker-drummer!
• Why did the beard go to the art museum? It wanted to brush up on its cultural facial hair-itage!
• What’s a beard’s favorite song? “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred!
• Why did the bearded man join a band? He wanted to strum his facial hair like a guitar!
• Why did the mustache want to be a police officer? Because it wanted to go undercover!
• Why did the hipster get into a fight? Someone insulted his perfectly sculpted beard!
• Why did the mustache join a gym? It wanted to stay in tip-top shape for upper lip-ups!
• Why did the mustache get a job at the bakery? It loved rolling in dough!
• Why did the sideburns start a YouTube channel? They wanted to show off their “face-ial” hair tutorials!
• Why did the clean-shaven man start wearing a fake mustache? He wanted to “whisk-er” away any suspicions!
• What do you call a beard that lives next door? A “neighborhood”!
• What’s the favorite type of facial hair for pirates? The arrrrr-chin beard!
• Why did the beard go to the gym? It wanted to work out its chin-derella muscles!
• Why did the mustache go to therapy? It felt like it was always being overshadowed!
• What did the clean-shaven guy say to the guy with a beard? “Your face needs a little more landscaping!”
• Why did the mustache get a job as a detective? It was really good at ‘no-shave’ investigations!
• Why did the facial hair win an award? Because it was a “hair-iffic” accomplishment!
• Why did the mustache get arrested? It was caught smuggling upper lips!
• Why did the man with a mustache get a promotion at work? His boss thought he had good “growth” potential!
• Why do hipsters prefer mustaches over beards? Because they like things that are mustache-ly better!
• Why did the goatee break up with the sideburns? They just couldn’t see eye to eye!
• Why did the mustache get in a fight with the goatee? It accused it of stealing its style stubble!
• Why did the barber get into an argument with his client’s mustache? It just couldn’t handle the mustache’s bristly remarks!
• Why did the guy with a beard never lose at poker? He always had an ace up his sleeve… well, under his chin!
• What did one sideburn say to the other? “We’re a cut above the rest!”
• Why did the facial hair go on strike? It wanted better working conditions: more grooming and less shaving!
• Why did the clean-shaven man start a band? Because he wanted to be a smooth operator!
• Why did the bearded man get a ticket? His mustache was parked in a no-go zone!
• Why did the bearded man start a rock band? Because he wanted to have the wildest whiskers on stage!
• What do you call a mustache that can sing? A “stache” of talent!
• Why did the hipster get rid of his beard? It was too mainstream!
• What did the beard say to the razor? “I mustache you to be gentle, it’s a hairy situation down here!”
• Why did the beard win an award? It was the best in the hair-itage category!
• What did the guy with a goatee say when someone complimented his facial hair? Thanks for the “chin”-d words!
• Why did the barber become a comedian? He was tired of just shaving off people’s laughs!
• Why did the bearded man win the lottery? Because he had the luckiest chin-chin!
• Why did the mustache file a police report? It got tangled up in some hairy business!
• Why did the beard get a ticket? It was caught “driving” the ladies wild!
• Why did the beard go to the baseball game? It wanted to catch a fly ball!
• Why did the beard join a band? It wanted to become the ultimate facial hair-monizer!
• What’s a bearded person’s favorite type of music? “Folk” music!
• Why did the barber refuse to trim the man’s beard? It was a hairy situation and he didn’t want to split hairs!
• Why did the clean-shaven man enter a beard-growing contest? He wanted to prove he was a “hair” above the rest!
• What do you call a mustache that’s also a magician? A “disappearing” act!
• Why did the mustache become an artist? Because it wanted to make a “brush” with fame!
• What do you call a mustache that is also a detective? A Sherlock Combs!
• What’s the difference between a mustache and a bad joke? One makes you laugh, and the other makes your upper lip twitch!
• Why did the barber refuse to shave the man’s mustache? It was too much of a whisk-er!
• Why did the barber become a comedian? He always had a good “shave” up his sleeve!
• Why did the facial hair go to the comedy club? It wanted to see some beard-iful jokes!
• Why did the facial hair go to the comedy show? It wanted to hear some ‘razor-sharp’ jokes about itself!
• Why did the barber refuse to trim Santa’s beard? He thought it was too ho-ho-horrifying!
• What did the barber say to the mustache? “I mustache you to leave, we’re closed!”
• What do you call a beard that has a bad sense of humor? Whisker-y!
• Why did the beard break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t handle the bristles!
• Why did the mustache become a comedian? It had a great sense of must-humor!
• What do you call a bearded man who loves to cook? A saucy whisker-dine chef!
• Why did the bearded man start a gardening business? He wanted to grow some serious stubble!
• What do you call a beard that’s having a bad day? A “frown” goatee!
• What do you call a bearded man who can’t find his razor? Stubble trouble!
• What do you call a mustache that knows karate? A Kung-Fu-stache!
• Why did the man with a mustache get a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded dough, and a hairy situation always needs a good knead!
• What do you call a bearded man who can’t grow a mustache? A whisker-wannabe!
• Why did the mustache attend all the parties? Because it was always in the “whisker” of things!
• Why did the beard start a band? Because it wanted to be a “whisker” on the charts!
• Why did the mustache get a promotion? Because it’s always growing and moving up!
• Why did the clean-shaven man never get caught by the police? He always made a clean shave!
• What did the mustache say to the razor? “I mustache you to be gentle, it’s my first time!”
• What did the bearded man say when he won the lottery? “I guess I’m finally making some beard money!”
• Why did the mustache call the police? It witnessed a “whisker”-y business!
• What did the clean-shaven man say when he saw a man with a beard? “I guess he’s growing on me!”
• Why did the beard start a band? It wanted to be known for its “hair-raising” performances!
• Why did the beard apply for a job at the zoo? Because it wanted to work in the “lion’s” den!
• What did the mustache say to the beard? “We need to stick together, we make a great pair!”
• Why did the clean-shaven man become a comedian? He wanted to make people laugh, even if his jokes were just a whisker away from being funny!
• How did the clean-shaven man feel after growing a beard? He thought it was a hairy situation!
• What did one beard say to the other at the barbershop? “Nice to finally meet you, I mustache you a question!”
• Why did the clean-shaven man envy Santa Claus? He wanted to have a beard that could deliver presents!
• What do you call a mustache that’s always on time? A whisker watch!
• Why did the clean-shaven man get hired? He couldn’t handle the beard-ership responsibilities!
• Why did the beard cross the road? To see if it could grow on the other side!
• Why did the clean-shaven man envy the bearded man? Because he couldn’t handle the mane attraction!
• Why did the barber win the lottery? He knows how to trim it, and he knows how to win it!
• What do you call a beard that’s gone to seed? A scruffuff!
• Why did the mustache go to therapy? It couldn’t handle being constantly upstaged by the beard!
• What’s a pirate’s favorite facial hair style? The arrrr-gyle beard!
• Why did the goatee break up with its girlfriend? It couldn’t handle the whiskers!
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? It was caught speeding in the fast lane of facial fashion!
• Why did the mustache go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a date to pair up with!
• Why did the bearded man refuse to join the circus? He didn’t want to be the “mane” attraction!
• Why did the barber get arrested? He was caught shaving off people’s eyebrows – he was going against the grain!
• What do you call it when a mustache gets a promotion? An upward curl in its career!
• Why did the mustache feel lonely? It couldn’t find any “hair”-mony!
• Why did the mustache go to the barbershop? It wanted to get a little mustache trimbucha!
• What do you call a clean-shaven man who can’t grow a beard? A bare-faced liar!
• Why did the bearded man join a band? Because he could really rock the facial hair!
• What do you call a beard that can solve complex math problems? An “algebraic” beard!
• Why did the guy with a mustache never get a date? His love life was always a hairy situation!
• Why did the beard sign up for a gym membership? It wanted to get ripped, not just hairy!
• Why did the mustache refuse to join a band? It didn’t want to be a “whisker” away from fame!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? “Stache”-in’ roll!
• Why did the bearded man feel like a superhero? Because he could always ‘whisker’ away any problems!
• What do you call a bearded fisherman? A “reel” hairy angler!
• Why did the beard join the gym? Because it wanted to “curl” up and dye!
• Why did the mustache bring a ladder? It wanted to “climb” its way to success!
• What do you call it when a mustache gets a promotion? Facial hair-archy!
• Why did the mustache go to the party? It wanted to make a good impression and sweep the ladies off their feet!

 

Facial Hair Joke Generator

Struggling to comb through your thoughts for the perfect facial hair joke?

(You see what I did there?)

That’s when our FREE Facial Hair Joke Generator comes to your rescue.

Designed to weave together witty puns, smooth humor, and playful quips, it creates jokes that are guaranteed to trim your worries and brush up your laughter.

Don’t allow your humor to grow out of style and become unruly.

Use our joke generator to fashion jokes that are as sharp and stylish as your facial hair.

 

FAQs About Facial Hair Jokes

Why are facial hair jokes so popular?

Facial hair jokes have become a fun cultural trope, with a wide variety of styles and preferences.

They cater to the universal experiences of maintaining, shaving, growing, or experiencing facial hair.

These jokes can often highlight the joys and challenges of facial hair management, making them a hit amongst both bearded and non-bearded individuals.

 

Can facial hair jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Facial hair jokes can serve as ice-breakers, mood lighteners, or just a way to connect with others through shared experiences.

They can add a touch of humor to almost any social setting and help spark interesting conversations about personal grooming habits.

 

How can I come up with my own facial hair jokes?

1. Observe different types of facial hair and their unique characteristics—the mustache, the goatee, the full beard, sideburns, etc.
2. Think about the common vocabulary around facial hair (e.g., stubble, shave, razor, whiskers). Look for puns or funny phrases that incorporate these words.
3. Consider the context of your joke. Is it a barber shop mishap or a home grooming adventure? Tailor your humor to suit this scenario.
4. Play around with well-known sayings or quotes and incorporate facial hair elements into them.
5. Don’t shy away from puns and wordplay. Facial hair jokes provide ample opportunities for linguistic creativity and humor.

 

Are there any tips for remembering facial hair jokes?

Link facial hair jokes to situations where they can be useful—like at the barber shop, during a shave, or when seeing a particularly impressive beard.

Associating jokes with these moments can help them stick in your mind.

 

How can I make my facial hair jokes better?

The key is to keep them relatable, surprising, and full of wordplay.

Understand your audience, use the element of surprise, and don’t be afraid to play with words.

Practice is key, so keep sharing your jokes to see what gets the best response.

 

How does the Facial Hair Joke Generator work?

Our Facial Hair Joke Generator is your one-stop solution for instant laughs.

Just input relevant keywords or your situation, and press the Generate Jokes button.

In no time, you’ll have a collection of hilarious facial hair jokes ready to share.

 

Is the Facial Hair Joke Generator free?

Absolutely, our Facial Hair Joke Generator is completely free to use!

Generate endless jokes to keep your content engaging and amusing.

Feel free to fill your social media feeds with humor that’s as diverse and entertaining as the world of facial hair itself.

 

Conclusion

Facial hair jokes are a charming way to add a dash of wit to everyday conversations, making life a bit more amusing with each chuckle.

From the sharp and clever to the long and side-splitting, there’s a facial hair joke for every occasion.

So next time you’re grooming or observing facial hair, remember, there’s humor to be found in every beard, mustache, and sideburn.

Keep spreading the laughs, and let the good times buzz and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without facial hair—unthinkable and, frankly, a bit less entertaining.

Happy joking, everyone!

Goatee Jokes That Are Sharp and Funny

Moustache Jokes to Twist Your Sense of Humor

Sideburns Jokes for a Retro Laugh

Shaving Jokes to Smooth Out Your Day

Beard Jokes That Will Tickle Your Whiskers