280 Feline Jokes That Claw Their Way into Your Funny Bone

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re ready to pounce into the world of feline jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the pick of the litter.

That’s why we’ve herded together a list of the most amusing feline jokes.

From purr-fect puns to whisker-twitching one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every facet of feline life.

So, let’s leap into the playful heart of feline humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Feline Jokes

Feline jokes add an irresistibly cute and cuddly element to humor that can make anyone’s day brighter.

They’re not just about the antics of our feline friends, but also about the peculiar habits and quirks that make cats such intriguing creatures.

From their infamous nonchalance to their infamous curiosity, cats provide a vast playground for witty punchlines and tongue-in-cheek humor.

Creating the purr-fect feline joke requires a sharp wit, a pinch of imagination, and a good understanding of cat-itude (the often unpredictable and always entertaining behavior exhibited by our furry friends).

Ready for some ‘clawsome’ humor?

Pounce into laughter with these feline jokes:

Why did the cat bring a ladder to the bar? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews!
Why did the cat wear a fancy hat? Because it wanted to look paws-itively meow-velous!
Why did the cat go to therapy? It had too many purr-sonal issues.
Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer to keep their paws on the ground!
Why don’t cats play basketball? They keep throwing up hairballs!
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? “Pleased to eat you.”
Why did the cat join the Red Cross? Because she wanted to be a first-aid mew-tor!
How does a cat make its coffee? It purrs it!
What do you call a cat that gets thrown into the dryer? A fluffy tumbleweed!
Why was the cat sitting on the stove? It wanted to have a paw-ty!
Why don’t cats play baseball? They can’t stand the idea of foul balls!
How do cats make friends? They paw it off.
Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer the thrill of the cat-alogue!
What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies!
What do you call a cat that can perform magic tricks? A purr-estidigitator!
Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the “purr”-sonal documents!
What do you call a cat that likes to go bowling? A strike meowster.
What do you call a cat that can pull off amazing magic tricks? A “purr-former”!
Why don’t cats play basketball? They’re afraid of the rim-shot.
How does a cat make lemonade? With its paws-ta!
How do cats study for a test? They paws for a moment and then purr-severe!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Mice cream!
Why did the cat join the band? Because it had perfect “meow”sical abilities!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a fish? A pawsome swimmersuit model!
What do you call a cat that loves bowling but is terrible at it? A gutter puss!
What do you call a cat that likes to play with a ball of yarn? A knit-wit!
Why did the cat become a pharmacist? Because it had a great purr-scription!
What did the cat say to the dog on a hot summer day? “I’m feline hot, can you lend me some purr-oxide?”
How does a cat stop a video? It hits the paws button!
Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer “purrchasing” in-store!
Why don’t cats wear fancy clothes? Because they prefer a cat-ual look!
What do cats use to make coffee? A purr-colator!
What did the cat say when it accidentally walked on the electric stove? “You’ve got to be kitten me!”
What do you call a cat that can’t stop playing video games? A gamer-purr!
What do you call a cat that can sing and dance? Meow Jackson!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!

Short Feline Jokes

Short feline jokes are like a playful kitten—quick, unpredictable, and irresistibly amusing.

These jokes are perfect for casual conversations, social media posts, or that instance at a gathering when you need a fast jest to lighten the mood.

The charm of short feline jokes lies in their ability to be both clever and claw-verly witty, providing laughter in just a snippet of text.

And now, let the cat out of the bag!

Here are some short feline jokes that deliver a purr-fectly funny punch in just a few words.

Why do cats make terrible storytellers? They always use too much “paws”!
How do cats stop crime? They call claw enforcement!
What do you call a cat that can roughhouse? A pounce boxer!
How do cats make decisions? They use their purr-sonal instincts!
What do you call a cat that wears shoes? Puss in boots!
How do cats like to shop? By cat-alogue!
How do cats bake cookies? They use meow-surements!
What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats!
What did the cat say to the catnip? I’m feline good!
What do you call a cat that wears makeup? Glamour-puss!
What’s a cat’s favorite song? “Three Little Birds” by Bob Meow-ley!
What do cats use to fix their computers? Mice-pads!
How do cats bake? With meow-sures and purr-fect timing!
How do cats like to greet each other? Purr-sonally!
What do you call a cat with eight legs? An octo-purr!
Why do cats always get their way? They’re very purr-suasive!
How does a cat ask for a treat? Meow-please!
What kind of cat should you take on a safari? A cheetah!
How do cats make decisions? They flip a purr!
What do you call a cat that gets everything it wants? Purrr-suasive!
How do cats keep their fur neat? They use a purr-sonal stylist!
What’s a cat’s favorite breakfast? Mice Krispies!
Why don’t cats trust trees? They’re always up to something fishy!
How does a cat ask for a drink? With a meow-tini!
What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school? Hissss-tory!

Feline Jokes One-Liners

Feline one-liner jokes are the perfect amalgamation of humor wrapped in a single sentence.

They’re the conversational equivalent of a cat landing on its feet – smooth, sleek, and always leaving an impression.

Creating an engaging one-liner demands a fusion of wit, accuracy, and a deep understanding of the essence of puns.

The test is to pack the setup and punchline into a concise format, delivering the strongest effect with just a handful of words.

Let’s hope these feline one-liners get you purring with amusement:

What do you call a cat that can read your mind? A crystal ball of fur!
Why did the cat go to therapy? Because it had a “paws”-t traumatic experience!
How do cats avoid getting caught? They use their purr-suasion skills!
What do you call a cat that can trim your hedges? Edward Scissorpaws!
Why don’t cats play basketball? They always get called for goaltending!
What is a cat’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop!
I’m not lazy, I’m just on feline time.
What did the cat say to the dog at the poker table? You wanna raise the woof?
Why did the cat only drink milk with a straw? Because it didn’t want to be caught lactose-paw!
My cat’s idea of exercise is stretching out on the couch.
Why did the cat bring a suitcase to the library? Because it wanted to check out all the books!
Why did the cat go to the beach? It wanted to catch some rays!
I asked my cat if he wanted to go for a walk, and he replied, “Are you kitten me?”
I accidentally stepped on my cat’s tail, and it gave me a look that said, “You’ve got to be kitten me right meow!”
What do you call a cat that can skateboard? A pro-cat-stinator!
My cat is an expert at hide and seek, he never fails to find the perfect hiding spot – right behind my legs!
I told my cat to stop scratching the furniture, and now he only scratches lottery tickets.
My cat’s favorite type of math is purr-centage calculations.
Why did the cat sit on the computer? Because it wanted to keep its paws on the mouse!
What did the cat say when it got hurt? “Me-ouch!”
I asked my cat if he wanted to go for a walk, he replied, “Is leash-traveling really my purr-pose in life?”
Why don’t cats play hide-and-seek in trees? They always get caught pawsitively!
Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It heard it had a mouse!
How do you know when a cat is agitated? It’s feline grumpy!
I have a cat who loves to play hide and seek. I never find him.
I just found out my cat has a secret identity as a purr-ninja.
My cat is like a personal trainer, always encouraging me to chase after the laser pointer!
What did the cat say when it finished its meal? That was simply purr-fection!
I asked my cat if it wanted to hear a joke, but it replied, “I’m not kitten around!”
My cat likes to steal socks, but I guess it’s just trying to find its sole-mate.
My cat loves to sit on my laptop keyboard, but she never responds to my emails.
What did the cat say when it lost all its money? “I’m paw!” -sitive I had it a minute ago!
Why don’t cats trust the internet? Too many cheetahs!
Why do cats make terrible comedians? Their jokes always fall flat!
How does a cat count? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen… mice!
I tried to take a catnap, but my cat gave me a ticket for illegal parking.
Why did the cat go to medical school? Because he wanted to become a “purr”-diatrician!
Why did the cat become a hairstylist? It heard it was a great way to make fur-endly connections!
I’m not kitten around, I’m feline fantastic today!
Why don’t cats play basketball? They always get distracted by the paw-prints on the court!
My cat likes to think it’s the ruler of the house, but I’m the one who pays the bills, so who’s really in charge here?
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens!
Why did the cat go to therapy? It had a purr-sonality disorder!
Why do cats make terrible DJs? They always hit the “paws” button at the wrong time!
My cat just asked me if I need any help with my nine lives.
Why did the cat bring a ladder to the library? It heard the books had great tails!
What do you call a cat that can drive? A purrr-olice officer!
What do you get when you cross a cat and a lemon? A sourpuss with a zest for life!
What do you call a cat that gets thrown into a swimming pool? A wet pussy cat!
I told my cat to take a nap, and it replied, “I’m feline tired.”
What is a cat’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal… because they love to paws!
What did the cat say when it saw something amazing? Purr-fect!
My cat thinks she’s a real estate agent because she always brings me mice with “property” tags.
My cat thinks it’s a great hunter, but it once tried to pounce on its own reflection in the mirror.
Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It was hoping to catch the cursor!
Why did the cat go to school? To get a little more “purr-spective”!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!

Feline Dad Jokes

Feline dad jokes are the purr-fect combination of witticisms and humor that will undoubtedly cause both cringing and chuckling simultaneously.

These jokes are often so bad, they’re hilariously good.

Ideal for family get-togethers, mealtime banter, or simply to bring a grin to someone’s face, they’re a furr-tastic way to lighten the mood.

Prepare yourself for the eye-rolls and the purr-haps a little embarrassment.

Here are some feline dad jokes that are sure to amuse:

How do cats get around the city? They take the furr-y-tail!
How do you know if a cat is good at baseball? It always catches the fly balls!
Why don’t cats play baseball? They can’t resist batting at the balls!
What did the cat say when it found out it won the lottery? “I’m feline lucky!”
Why don’t cats play football? Because they are afraid of the doggy-formation!
Why don’t cats play hide and seek? They always get spotted!
Why did the cat wear a fancy dress? It wanted to look purr-fect for the meow-tain ball!
What do you call a group of musical cats? The feline-harmonic orchestra!
What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole pizza? Cheese paws!
What do you call a cat that can bark? A dog in disguise!
Why don’t cats play hide-and-seek? Because no matter what, they always seem to find youowt!
What did the cat say when it found out it was pregnant? “I’m purr-gnant!”
Why was the cat sitting on the fan? It wanted to keep cool and stay in purrfect balance!
How do you make a cat happy? Give it some mew-sic lessons!
Why did the cat join the circus? It had the purr-fect balance!
What do you call a cat that’s a beauty expert? A purr-fessional groomer!
Why did the cat bring a map to the park? It wanted to find the purr-fect spot to nap!
How do you know if a cat has eaten a duckling? Its feathers are all quacked up!
What do you call a cat that wears a suit of armor? Sir Pounce-a-lot!
Why did the cat go to the supermarket? It wanted to find the purr-fect aisle!
Why did the cat go to school? To improve its purr-sonal development.
How do you know when a cat has been using your computer? You find little pawprints on the keyboard and “mouse” scratches on the screen!
Why was the cat sitting on the amplifier? It wanted to be a “meow”-sician!
Why don’t cats use cell phones? Because they already have paw-some communication skills!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light a match… woof! Just kidding, never do that!
How do you know when a cat is excited? It’s tail is straight up in the air like an exclamation mark!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, especially those with feline expressions!
Why don’t cats like shopping online? They prefer to use their paws-on approach!
What do you call a cat that can walk through walls? A super-purr!
Why don’t cats need a phone? Because they already have nine lives!
Why do cats make terrible storytellers? They only have one tail to tell!
How did the cat learn to speak French? It took purr-ivate lessons!
What do you call a cat that can roughhouse with dogs? A purr-sonal trainer!
What do you call a cat that gets caught by the police? The purr-petrator!
How do you know if a cat is hiding in your bed? You can find a whisker!
Why did the cat wear a fancy dress? Because it was feline pretty!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purrrrple!
How do cats make plans? They always paws for a moment!
How do cats make amends? They purrrr-fect their apologies!
What kind of sports do cats enjoy? Hairball!
What do you call a cat that can play the guitar? A feline-strum-entalist!
What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show? A cat-has-trophy!
What did the cat say when it lost its tail? I’ll get over it, I’m not kitten around!
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck-filled-fatty-puss!
What’s a cat’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, of course!
What did the cat say when it accidentally stepped on a thorn? “Me-owch!”
What did the cat say when it was confused? “I’m paws-itively puzzled!”
What do you call a cat that can sing all night? A nocturne-tabby!
What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? The “Litterbox” Office!
What kind of cat works at the Red Cross? A first-aid kit-ty!
Why are cats great singers? Because they have perfect paw-tching!

Feline Jokes for Kids

Feline jokes for kids are the cat’s meow when it comes to eliciting laughter and giggles, making them the perfect addition to your child’s repertoire of humor.

These jokes help kids explore language in a playful way, sparking their creativity and encouraging them to see the world from a feline perspective.

It fosters an appreciation for humor as well as love for our furry friends.

Moreover, feline jokes for kids are an excellent way to make learning about animals entertaining, turning the common house cat into a source of boundless amusement.

Ready for some paw-some fun?

Let’s get started with these rib-tickling feline jokes that will have your kids purring with laughter:

What’s a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Meow-sic!
Why did the cat sit on the fan? She wanted to have a cool purrrrrr!
What do cats use to make their hair look good? Meow-spray!
What do you call a cat that likes to play baseball? A bat-cat!
How do you know if a cat has been using your computer? You find tiny paw prints on the keyboard!
Why don’t cats like playing poker in the wild? Too many cheetahs!
How does a cat count? On its paws!
Why don’t cats like online shopping? Because they prefer a “purr-chase” in person!
What did the cat say to the dog when they were playing Scrabble? “You’re just a cheetah!”
How do cats get around the neighborhood? They use their pawsport!
What do you call a cat who can talk to ghosts? A “furr-otologist”!
Why did the cat go to the gym? To work on its purr-sonal fitness!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark cloud? Kitty litter!
Why did the cat bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to reach the mouse-ic on the top shelf!
What do cats use to make phone calls? Their whiskers!
What do you get if you cross a cat and a fish? A purr-cupine!
Why don’t cats ever get lost? Because they always have their purr-sonal GPS turned on!
Why don’t cats play cards in the wild? They’re too busy playing Go Fish!
How does a cat ask for a snack? Can I have some purrr-ritos, please?
What kind of cat always knows the time? A watch cat!
How do cats bake cookies? With meow-ix!
Why did the cat go to the park? It wanted to play meow-tag!
What did the cat say when it got a toy mouse? This is purr-fectly adorable!
Why did the cat always win at video games? Because it had nine lives!
How do you know if a cat has eaten a duckling? It has that down-in-the-mouth look!
What do you call a cat that has been knighted? Sir-purr!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? A sourpuss with an attitude!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas!
What do you call a cat who loves to bowl? A strike-a-puss!
Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It was feline curious!
What do you call a cat that can bounce higher than a house? A “purr-acrobat”!
What do you call a cat who throws a tantrum? A hissy fit!
Why did the cat become a math teacher? Because it’s purr-fect at counting!
How do you know when a cat has eaten a whole pizza? It’s stuffed!
How do you know when a cat is mad? It has a hissy fit!
What is a cat’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!
What did the cat say when it got a new phone? “I’m feline fine!”
Why do cats make terrible storytellers? They always paws in the wrong places!
What do you call a cat that likes to sleep all day? A snooze button!
What do you call a cat that wears a wig? A purr-fect disguise!
How do cats greet each other? They say “meow’s it going?”
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Soak it in gasoline and light it on fire. (Disclaimer: Please do not actually do this, it is just a joke and animal cruelty is not funny.).
How do you know if your cat is smart? It can count its lives on one paw!
What do you call a cat who lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
How do two cats end a fight? They hiss and make up!
What do you call a cat that gets all the jokes? A purr-fect audience!
How do cats make decisions? They flip a coin. It always lands on its feet!
Why did the cat go to the spa? It needed to relax and paws for a while!
What kind of cat should you take into the desert? A first aid kitty!
Why did the cat join the band? It had perfect purr-fection on the guitar!
What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? An octo-puss!
Why did the cat go to the beauty salon? It wanted to get a pawsome makeover!
Why did the cat go to school? To catch up on mews!
How do you make a cat happy? Give it a lot of purrrrsonal space!
Why don’t cats play cards in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs!
How do you know if a cat is happy? It purrs!

Feline Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t enjoy a good feline joke?

Feline jokes for adults take humor to a purr-fect level, mixing refined wit with a touch of cattitude.

Much like a well-groomed cat, these jokes blend elements of humor, intellect, and a hint of mischief for a truly unforgettable chortle.

These jokes are ideal for cocktail parties, casual get-togethers, or simply to inject some levity into a solemn discussion among companions.

Here are some feline jokes that are the cat’s meow for adults:

Why do cats always win at video games? Because they have perfect “mouse” control!
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Mice cream sundaes!
What did the cat say after a long day at work? “I’m feline tired!”
What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? The Purrsuit of Happiness!
What do you call a cat that loves bowling? A strike-meower!
Why did the cat become a math teacher? It had nine lives to count on!
What do you call a cat that likes to eat lemons? A sour-puss!
Why don’t cats like shopping online? They prefer to paw through the racks!
How do you know if your cat is planning to take over the world? It starts by knocking everything off your shelves!
What did the cat say when it was asked if it had a name? You can call me Whiskers, because I’m always in the mix!
Why are cats so good at bowling? They always get a purr-fect strike!
How do you know if a cat is being deceptive? It gives you a sneaky paw-tograph!
What did the cat say when it found out it was adopted? “I’ve been fur-real all along?”
Why did the cat always carry a map? Because it wanted to be a nav-purr-gator!
Why don’t cats trust trees? They’re always shady characters!
What do you call a cat who lost all its nine lives? A catastrophe!
Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer a good old-fashioned mouse hunt!
Why did the cat go to the bank? To withdraw some purr-sonal funds!
What do you call a cat that plays video games? A PlayStation-purr!
Why did the cat join the band? It had perfect paws for playing the keyboard!
Why did the cat join the circus? It had always wanted to be a lion tamer!
Why don’t cats trust anyone? Because they know they’re always feline-fine!
What do you call a cat that’s a magician? A cattrick!
Why are cats good at video games? Because they have nine lives to spare!
Why was the feline chef so good at cooking? It always added just the right amount of purr-fection!
What did the cat say when it got its tail stuck in the door? “Me-OW!”
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail!
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duck? You’ll find feathers on its lips!
Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer a paw-sitive shopping experience!
What did the cat say when it accidentally walked on the electric fence? Me-owch!
Why did the cat put a bandage on its tail? Because it hurt its whiskers!
What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrrr-ple!
Why did the cat become a hairstylist? It wanted to give the purr-fect haircuts!
Why do cats always win at video games? Because they have nine lives to practice!
What did the cat say when it got a phone call? Meow’s it going?
What did the cat say when it lost its tail? “I’m fur-ever incomplete!”
Why don’t cats play sports? They prefer to be on the “purr-ch!” side!
What do you call a cat that can dance? A meow-velous dancer!
What do you call a cat that can’t stop playing music? A DJ Kitty!
What did the cat say to the dog when it cheated in the game? “You’ve got to be kitten me!”
Why did the cat bring a ladder to the concert? It wanted to reach the high paw-nts!
How does a cat count its whiskers? “One, two, three, many, lots!”
What did the cat say to the mouse during a game of hide-and-seek? “I’m feline lucky today!”
What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the garden? A purr-nivore!
What did the cat say when it lost all its money at the casino? “I’m paw!” (poor).
Why did the cat go to the strip club? It wanted to see some pole cats!
What do you call a cat that can solve complex mathematical problems? Algebraicat!
What do you call a cat that tells jokes? A witty kitty!
Why don’t cats play cricket? They’re afraid of the ball of yarn!

Feline Joke Generator

Whiskering up the perfect cat joke can sometimes seem like herding cats.

(Catch my drift there?)

Don’t fret!

Our FREE Feline Joke Generator is here to scratch that itch.

Engineered to weave together clever cat puns, frisky humor, and playful witticisms, it purr-duces jokes that are guaranteed to cause a roar of laughter.

Don’t let your humor become as dull as a dog’s life.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as vibrant and amusing as your feline friends.

FAQs About Feline Jokes

Why are feline jokes so popular?

Feline jokes have a widespread appeal because of our love for these mysterious and charming creatures.

Cats have unique behaviors and traits that provide endless material for humor, making these jokes relatable and enjoyable for everyone.

Can feline jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

A good feline joke can easily break the ice, lighten the mood, or make you the life of the party.

These jokes tend to be universally appealing and can bring laughter to any social gathering.

How can I come up with my own feline jokes?

Observe your cat or other cats around you. Take note of their quirks, behavior, and traits, these can all serve as inspiration.
Consider the common phrases and words associated with cats (e.g., purr, meow, furball). You can make use of puns and wordplay with these terms.
Think about the setting of your joke. It could be something that happened at home, at a vet’s office, or a funny imaginary scenario involving cats.
Try twisting well-known sayings or phrases to include feline elements.
Don’t be afraid to embrace the puns and wordplay. Cats are purr-fect for pun-tastic humor!