824 Hamlet Jokes to Make Even Ophelia Giggle

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to dive into the world of Hamlet jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the crown jewels of humor.

That’s why we’ve assembled a list of the most hilarious Hamlet jokes.

From to-be-or-not-to-be puns to ghostly one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every act of life.

So, let’s plunge into the tragicomic world of Hamlet humor, one joke at a time.

Hamlet Jokes

Hamlet jokes have a distinctive wit that can elicit laughter from both literature enthusiasts and casual joke lovers alike.

They’re not just about the tragedy itself but the intricate world of Shakespearean drama.

From Hamlet’s famous soliloquy to the play’s exploration of existentialism, Hamlet provides an abundant source for jests and puns.

Crafting the perfect Hamlet joke involves a blend of clever wordplay, dramatic irony, and a playful take on the play’s darker themes (such as the existential question ‘to be or not to be’ or the ghostly presence of Hamlet’s father).

Ready to take a stab at humor?

Dive into the world of Shakespearean comedy with these Hamlet jokes:

• Why did Hamlet join a gym? To be or not to be “buff,” that was the question!
• Why did Hamlet become an actor? Because he loved performing “to be or not to be” on stage!
• Why did Hamlet take up gardening? Because he wanted to be an expert in “to seed or not to seed” decision making!
• Why did Hamlet get into a fight with a pirate? Because he wanted to seize the day and hoist the Jolly Roger.
• What do you call it when Hamlet has a bad hair day? A “to be or not to be-draggled” look!
• Why did Hamlet become a stand-up comedian? He always wanted to be a real jokester of Denmark!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of exercise? The tragic bounce on a trampoline.
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he had a long-lost cousin? “To thine own family tree, be true!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? To be able to write his famous “To ink or not to ink” soliloquy!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? He could never decide whether to be dealt in or not to be dealt in!
• Why did Hamlet become a hairdresser? Because he always had a “brush” with destiny!
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he couldn’t find his own “i” in “to be or not to be”!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a map with him? Because he was constantly trying to find his way out of the “to be or not to be” confusion!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil and paper to the cemetery? Because he wanted to “grave” his thoughts!
• What’s the favorite game of Hamlet’s ghost? Musical “chairs”!
• What did Hamlet say to his barber? “Just a little off the “crown” please!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he didn’t want anyone to ask, “Is this a spade I see before me?”
• Why did Hamlet get a job at the bakery? Because he wanted to learn how to make “toast”!
• Why did Hamlet join a rock band? He wanted to be the lead singer of a Danish group called “Skull & Roll!”
• Why did Hamlet take up knitting? Because he wanted to “unravel” the mysteries of life!
• Why did Hamlet start a comedy club? Because he wanted to make everyone laugh to the death!
• What did Hamlet say when he ordered a pizza? “To eat or not to eat, that is the question… but definitely eat!”
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he wanted to be a man of the spade, not a man of the sword!
• Why did Hamlet become a stand-up comedian? Because he had a “to be or not to be” punchline for every joke!
• What did Hamlet say to his best friend when he borrowed his sword? “Et tu, Bruté?!”
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? Because he had a lot of “thyme” on his hands!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he had a math test? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy, he hath borne me on his back a thousand times, and now he’s making me fail math!”
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost of his father? “I have some “grave” concerns.”
• Why did Hamlet become a baker? Because he heard there were lots of “pastry” in the afterlife!
• What did Hamlet say to his barber when he got a bad haircut? “Something is rotten in the state of my hairdo!”
• Why did Hamlet struggle with online shopping? Because he couldn’t decide whether to add to cart or not to add to cart!
• What did Hamlet say to his therapist? “To be or not to be…is that covered by my insurance?”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost? “I’m not surprised, my life is already a tragedy!”
• Why did Hamlet fail as a stand-up comedian? Because his jokes were too much ado about nothing.
• What do you call Hamlet when he’s running late? The procrastinating prince!
• How did Hamlet respond when someone asked if he wanted to go fishing? “Nay, I shall not be caught hook, line, and thinker!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a flashlight to bed? Because he wanted to be a well-lit ghost!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out his favorite sandwich had disappeared? “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio… He was my ham and cheese!”
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he had a “seedy” plot for revenge.
• Why did Hamlet bring an umbrella to the play? Because there was a 100% chance of “play”!
• What do you call it when Hamlet accidentally sneezes during a soliloquy? A “to be or not to achoo” moment!
• Why did Hamlet bring a pillow to the duel? Because he wanted to cushion the “blow”!
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the theater? Because he wanted to reach new heights with his soliloquies.
• What did the director say when Hamlet’s actor kept forgetting his lines? “To memorize or not to memorize, that is the question!”
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he had a long-lost sibling? “I guess the play’s the thing to discover my unknown kin!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to join a band? Because he didn’t want to be a “troubadour”!
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he had a constant fear of being haunted by his own indecisiveness!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost in his room? “I think it’s about time I moved out of this haunted soliloquy suite!”
• Why did Hamlet join a singing competition? Because he wanted to hit all the high notes in his soliloquies.
• What do you call Hamlet’s dog? Much Ado About Pooch!
• Why did Hamlet start a band? He wanted to play some Danish heavy metal!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? Because he was always dealing with too many “to shuffle or not to shuffle” dilemmas!
• Why did Hamlet make terrible coffee? He couldn’t decide whether to be or not to be a barista!
• How did Hamlet break up with his girlfriend? He told her, “I must be cruel only to be kind, so it’s time to unkindly dump you!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with the other characters in the play? Because he always got dealt the “tragic” hand!
• Why did Hamlet start a bakery? Because he wanted to be the “bread” winner!
• What did Hamlet say to the skull? “Alas, poor Yorick, you really need to brush your teeth!”
• Why did Hamlet bring an umbrella to the play? Because it was raining “to be or not to be” soliloquies!
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she tried to break up with him? “You can’t just “exit, pursued by a bear”!”
• What did Hamlet say to the skull? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well…but your dental hygiene could use some work!”
• Why did Hamlet enroll in a dance class? Because he wanted to learn the “step” of being a prince!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of comedy? “Play”-on-words!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? Because he didn’t want to be dealt with deceit and treachery.
• Why was Hamlet always on time? Because he couldn’t bear to be “tardy” to his own tragedy!
• What do you call Hamlet’s friends when they’re in a bad mood? His “sour” mates!
• What did Hamlet say when he couldn’t find his iPhone? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well… but not his hiding spot!”
• Why did Hamlet break up with his girlfriend? She was always questioning his motives… “To love or not to love, that is the question!”
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he won the lottery? “O Fortuna! What a piece of work is man!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a pencil to the graveyard? Because he wanted to write “To ink or not to ink” on Ophelia’s tombstone!
• How did Hamlet react when he found out he was the star of a play? He said, “Alas, poor acting skills!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? To be able to take notes and “ink” about his soliloquies!
• Why did Hamlet bring a pillow to his fencing match? He wanted to practice his “To sleep, perchance to dream” moves!
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? He wanted to be known as the Prince of Thorns and Roses!
• Why did Hamlet go to the pet store? He wanted to find the “to flea or not to flea” section!
• What did Hamlet say to his actors when they didn’t show up for rehearsal? “To act or not to act, that is the question!”
• How did Hamlet feel about going to the gym? He thought it was too much ado about dumbbells!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because he didn’t want to be the “invisible prince of Denmark!”
• What do you call a depressed ghost in Hamlet? A “sigh-nificant” other!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite board game? To be or not to be monopoly.
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he couldn’t decide if he should “to be” or “not to be”!
• Why did Hamlet take up knitting? He heard it was a way to unravel his problems!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was going to be an uncle? “Oh no, not another ‘To be or not to be’ soliloquy!”
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? Because he loved to dig up dirt on his enemies!
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? To be or not to be, that is the question… for his therapist!
• Why did Hamlet become a chef? Because he wanted to make “to grill or not to grill” his signature dish!
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he had a thing for “to prune or not to prune” dilemmas!
• What do you call Hamlet’s pet pig? Hamlet Porkington!
• Why did Hamlet bring an umbrella to the cemetery? Because it was raining cats and Ophelia!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost at the party? “Long time, no “boo”!
• What do you call a Danish prince who’s always in a rush? Ham-let’s go!
• What did Hamlet say to his actors before the play started? “Break a leg, but don’t actually die!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? To be able to write his soliloquies whenever inspiration struck him!
• Why did Hamlet become a comedian? Because he had a lot of “wit” and “gallows” humor!
• What did Hamlet say to his actors when they forgot their lines? “To thine cue, be true!”
• Why did Hamlet get a promotion at work? Because he always knew how to “play” his cards right!
• Why did Hamlet go broke? Because he spent all his money on Ophelia’s flower shop – it was a real “Hamlet-down!”
• What did Hamlet say to the skeleton at the dinner table? “Aren’t you tired of just being a spare rib?”
• Why did Hamlet become an actor? He wanted to play the part of a “tragic ham”!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat sushi? Because he couldn’t handle all the “to raw or not to raw” questions!
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally bumped into someone? “I’m sorry, my good fellow, for I am but a restless soul with a clumsy disposition!”
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil and paper to his father’s funeral? He wanted to write a ghost story!
• Why did Hamlet always bring an umbrella to the castle? Because he heard there was a Danish prince!
• Why did Hamlet become a baker? Because he couldn’t resist the temptation to be or not to be a doughnut!
• Why did Hamlet bring a ghost to the party? Because he wanted to show everyone his “boo-dacious” dance moves!
• Why did Hamlet love going to the gym? Because he wanted to be the “Strong Prince of Denmark!”
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he had some serious “to be or not to be” issues!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a spider on the castle wall? “Alas, poor Yorick’s web!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat grapes? Because he couldn’t handle anything that was “to be or not to be” seedless!
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she couldn’t decide what to wear? “To blouse or not to blouse, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? Because he wanted to have a “plot” twist in his life!
• What do you call a funny version of Hamlet? A “Ham-let’s-make-you-laugh”!
• What did Hamlet say when he couldn’t find his favorite book? “Something is rotten in the state of my bookshelf!”
• Why did Hamlet take up photography? Because he wanted to capture “exposure time”
• Why did Hamlet bring a calendar to the duel? Because he wanted to make sure he had a date…with destiny!
• Why did Hamlet buy a new sword? Because his old one was getting a little “to be or rust to be”!
• Why did Hamlet go on a diet? Because he didn’t want to be known as the “heavy”weight champion!
• Why did Hamlet fail his driving test? Because he couldn’t make a “right” turn!
• Why did Hamlet become a baker? Because he kneaded some dough!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? Because he was always looking for aces to avenge his father’s death!
• Why did Hamlet get a job as a gravedigger? He wanted to bury the competition in his acting career!
• How did Hamlet react when he saw a ghost in his room? He exclaimed, “To sleep, perchance to scream!”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost? “I don’t know who you are, but you’re really “haunting” my castle!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a map to Elsinore Castle? Because he didn’t want to get lost in all the “To be or not to be” confusion!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil to the graveyard? Because he wanted to draw his own conclusions!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? He was always a little hesitant to deal with the king!
• Why did Hamlet go to the library? Because he was looking for the “play” button!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of candy? Skullicious!
• Why did Hamlet open a nightclub? Because he wanted to party like it’s 1599!
• Why did Hamlet become a baker? Because he heard it was a great way to make dough!
• What do you call a depressed hamster who loves Shakespeare? Ham-let-down!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was out of ink for his quill? “To refill or not to refill, that is the question!”
• What do you call Hamlet’s smartphone? A “Skull” phone, because it’s always contemplating mortality!
• What do you call a ghost who loves Shakespeare? Ham-boo-let!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw the ghost of King Hamlet? “You’re a dead ringer for my father!”
• Why did Hamlet buy a new watch? Because he wanted to make sure it was “time to be or not to be”
• Why did Hamlet hate playing cards? Because he always got stuck with the “to trump or not to trump” decision!
• What did Hamlet say to the pig farmer? “To ham or not to ham, that is the bacon!”
• What do you call Hamlet when he’s sleepwalking? “Shake-a-spear”!
• What did Ophelia say to Hamlet when he proposed? “I need time to think. To be, or not to be, that is the question!”

 

Short Hamlet Jokes

Short Hamlet jokes are like the iconic skull scene—unexpected, dramatic, and filled with a dash of intrigue.

These jokes are perfect for literature lovers, as text messages, social media posts, or those moments at a book club when you need a spontaneous chuckle.

The real beauty of short Hamlet jokes lies in their ability to blend Shakespearean drama with modern humor, serving laughter in a classic yet refreshing way.

So, without further ado, To be or not to be?

Here are short Hamlet jokes that promise to deliver a hearty laugh in just a few words.

• What do you call a grumpy prince? Rude-olf!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of bird? The “Alas, poor Yorick” crow!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite nursery rhyme? To be or not to bee!
• Why did Hamlet join a gym? He wanted to lift his spirits.
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite song? “To be or not to B-flat!”
• Why couldn’t Hamlet find his ID? Because he was Danish.
• What do you call a depressed Danish prince? Hamlet down!
• What do you call a singing hamster who loves Hamlet? Ophelia Verdi!
• Why did Hamlet open a bakery? He wanted to make sweet revenge!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite snack? To be or not to beet chips!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost? “You look boo-tiful tonight!”
• What do you call a depressed Shakespearean character? Melan-Hamlet!
• How did Hamlet become a successful rapper? He had mad soliloquy skills!
• Why did Hamlet fail his driving test? He couldn’t handle the Yorick!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play hide-and-seek? He couldn’t find Yorick!
• What’s Hamlet’s go-to dance move? The “to be or not to be-bop!”
• What do you call Hamlet’s favorite comedy? Much Ado About Stabbing!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite kind of music? Skull and crossbones!
• What did Hamlet say to the skull? “You’re looking quite thin-skulled today!”
• Why couldn’t Hamlet find his keys? Because they were in Denmark!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a map? To navigate the plot!
• Why did Hamlet fail the math test? He couldn’t count to two.
• What do you call a depressed piglet? Hamlet-oink!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of bird? A soliloquy!
• What do you call a Hamlet-themed bakery? Much Adough About Danish!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil? To be able to draw conclusions!
• What do you call Hamlet’s father when he’s feeling down? De-pressed!
• What do you call Hamlet’s haunted mansion? A ghost dwelling!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil? For his soliloquies!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Regicide and heavy metal!
• What did Hamlet say after his fencing match? I’ve got a point!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Shakespearean rap!
• What did the gravedigger say to Hamlet? You look grave today!
• Why did Hamlet fail at juggling? He couldn’t handle the skulls!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a spider? Out, damned spot!
• What did Hamlet say to the skull? “You’re my kind of head!”
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Rock ‘n’ Roll-ilioquies!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pencil? He loved writing tragic poetry!
• What did the ghost say to Hamlet? “You’re giving me the shakes-spear!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat? He couldn’t stomach the ghost pepper!
• Why did Hamlet carry a map? To be sure to find Denmark!

 

Hamlet Jokes One-Liners

Hamlet one-liner jokes are the epitome of wit wrapped in a single, succinct statement.

They’re the verbal equivalent of Hamlet’s soliloquy – profound, intriguing, and effortlessly engaging.

Crafting these jokes requires a blend of creativity, precision, and a deep understanding of Shakespearean humor.

The challenge lies in condensing the setting and punchline into a condensed form, delivering maximum amusement with minimal words.

Here’s to hoping these Hamlet one-liners make you exclaim with laughter, To be, or not to be: that is the question!

• To be or not to be, that is the question. And the answer is…not to be near a sword fight.
• Why did Hamlet start a rock band? Because he wanted to play the skull drums.
• Hamlet’s favorite vacation spot? Elsi-no. He didn’t like going on holiday in Denmark.
• I guess Hamlet just couldn’t handle the pressure of being Denmark’s most eligible bachelor.
• To be or not to be… eh, I’ll decide later.
• Hamlet’s friends are always telling him to be more decisive, but he’s like, “Maybe, maybe not. Let me think about it…”
• Hamlet got into a fight with his friend. Now they’re no longer “buddies,” they’re “to be or not to be” friends.
• Hamlet’s favorite game was “Guess Who,” but he always picked the wrong person to avenge his father’s death.
• I went to see Hamlet the other day, but I couldn’t find him. He must have been in Denmark.
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he didn’t like dealing with the king and queen.
• Hamlet never liked going to the beach because he couldn’t decide whether to swim or not to swim.
• I asked Hamlet why he always carries a pencil with him, he said it’s for sketchy situations.
• Hamlet’s soliloquy be like: “To selfie or not to selfie, that is the question.”
• I saw Hamlet at a discount store once, it was called “To Buy or Not to Buy”
• Hamlet’s indecisiveness was so legendary, even the Magic 8-Ball couldn’t give him an answer.
• Why did Hamlet have a hard time making decisions? He was always caught between a “rock” and a “Hamlet place.”
• I tried reading Hamlet, but I got lost in all the “thou” and “thee” and ended up asking Siri for a translation.
• Hamlet’s favorite pastime was playing Hamlet in the mirror.
• To be or not to be, that is the existential question Hamlet should have asked the ghost.
• Hamlet’s favorite type of football is skull-it.
• Hamlet was a terrible chef, he couldn’t make a decision whether to boil or to fry… it was always “To grill or not to grill.”
• To be honest, I still can’t decide if “Hamlet” is a tragedy or a really intense episode of “Jerry Springer.”
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? He had a bad case of soliloquy-itis.
• Hamlet’s soliloquies were so long, the audience started contemplating their own mortality.
• Hamlet and his friends always seem to have a lot of drama in their lives, they’re like a soap opera.
• Hamlet tried to become a stand-up comedian, but his jokes were too grave for the audience.
• Hamlet’s favorite line? “To sleep, perchance to stream Netflix and eat snacks.”
• To be or not to be, that is the question. And apparently, the answer is ‘to be’ because it’s in every school curriculum.
• Hamlet’s favorite dance move is the “To be or not to bee-bop.”
• Hamlet’s dating advice: “To swipe left or to swipe right, that is the question.”
• Hamlet decided to change his name to Ham because he thought it would be less dramatic.
• Hamlet’s favorite type of pie is definitely “To die for.” .
• Hamlet’s soliloquies: When you need a break from all the murder and betrayal, but still want some existential crisis.
• Hamlet was a master at procrastination, he could have written a thesis on it… if he ever got around to it.
• Hamlet’s favorite dance move? The Alas, poor Yorick.
• Why did Hamlet become a baker? Because he was tired of all the “toasting” in the castle.
• Hamlet’s workout routine: “To lift or not to lift, that is the question… but I’ll probably just skip it and brood in the corner instead.”
• Why did Hamlet start his own band? Because he wanted to be the lead singer of “Skull & Bones.”
• To be or not to be, that is the question. But seriously, where’s my skull?
• Why did Hamlet always bring a pen to the theater? He liked to write his own “to be or not to be” reviews.
• Hamlet walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve Danish royalty here.” Hamlet replied, “That’s okay, I’m just here for the pub-licity.”
• Hamlet’s famous line should’ve been, “To be a morning person or not to be a morning person, that is the question.”
• Hamlet: Where revenge plans go awry and everyone ends up dead. It’s like the original Game of Thrones.
• Hamlet walked into a bar and the bartender said, “To be or not to be…a drinker?”
• I watched Hamlet with a group of friends, but we all got confused because we couldn’t tell who was pretending to be mad and who was actually mad.
• Hamlet: the tragic story of a man who could’ve just gone to therapy.
• To be or not to be? More like, to binge-watch or not to binge-watch?
• Hamlet’s least favorite kind of sandwich is a “To-be or not to-bean.”
• What a piece of work is man. Especially when he’s trying to assemble IKEA furniture.
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was going to be a dad? “To thine own child be true!”
• Hamlet’s favorite sport is soliloquy tennis, where he plays both sides of the court.
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was out of ink? ‘Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well, but I’m still out of ink.’.
• What did Hamlet say when he wanted to end a phone conversation? “To hang up or not to hang up, that is the question.”
• Hamlet’s nickname in high school was ‘The Prince of Drama,’ because every theater kid can relate.
• I told my friend I was going to dress up as Hamlet for Halloween, but he said that costume was so last season… it’s all about Macbeth now.
• Hamlet: where revenge is the hottest fashion trend.
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play hide-and-seek with his friends? He always found himself alone in the end.
• Hamlet’s favorite type of dessert? Tragedy… it always ends with someone dying for a sweet taste of revenge.
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally ordered a hamburger instead of a ham sandwich? “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, patty.”
• Hamlet’s preferred method of communication was through angsty monologues, just like every teenager today.
• Why did Hamlet always win at poker? Because he had a “to be or not to be” face!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he had a 50% off coupon? “To discount, or not to discount, that is the sale!”
• What did Hamlet say to the pirate? “Arrrrr you the captain of this ship?”
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the theater? He wanted to make it a play-by-play experience.
• Hamlet’s love life is so complicated, it’s like he’s auditioning for a Shakespearean reality TV show.
• Hamlet’s ghost dad must have been really bored in the afterlife to come back just to haunt his son.
• I asked a friend if he wanted to watch Hamlet with me, but he said he couldn’t because he’s already seen it twice, “To be or not to be.”
• Why did Hamlet become a stand-up comedian? Because he knew all the best “to be or not to be” jokes.
• Hamlet’s doctor said he needed to get more sleep, but he replied, “To sleep, perchance to dream…of not going to the doctor.”
• I bet if Hamlet had a Facebook status, it would always be “feeling melancholy.” .
• Hamlet’s favorite song? ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ because it reminds him of his childhood with Ophelia.
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of bread? A loaf of Denmark.
• Hamlet was a master of soliloquies, but I’m more of a master of eating Doritos in silence.
• Hamlet’s indecisiveness is so relatable… or maybe it’s not, I can’t decide.
• Hamlet’s favorite kind of music? Ghost-ly!
• Hamlet should have known that revenge is a dish best served with a side of madness.
• Frailty, thy name is woman. But seriously, who doesn’t love a good cheeseburger?
• Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t. The method is called procrastination.
• To sleep, perchance to dream. And by dream, I mean oversleep and be late for work.
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite pickup line? “Are you Ophelia? Because you make my heart go mad!”
• I tried to audition for the role of Hamlet, but they told me I was too much of a Hamlet-ic.
• What did Hamlet say when he got a paper cut? “Alas, poor finger, I knew thee well.”
• Hamlet had a habit of talking to ghosts – he must have had a great phone plan with the afterlife.
• You know you’re in for a rough play when the opening scene involves a dead king and his moody son.
• Hamlet should have just written a strongly worded letter to his uncle instead of going through all that drama.
• Why was Hamlet always on the phone? He had a “to text or not to text” dilemma.
• Why did Hamlet become a basketball coach? He was great at giving pep “to be or not to be” talks during timeouts.
• Hamlet: the original emo kid with a ghost problem.
• I went to a Shakespeare play and all I got was this lousy skull.
• Hamlet’s life could have been way less dramatic if he just listened to his mom and got a job at the local coffee shop.
• When Hamlet said “The lady doth protest too much,” he was probably talking about his mom’s affection for his uncle.
• Hamlet went to a fancy dress party as a skull, it was a real bone-anza.
• Hamlet tried to make friends with a ghost once, but it turned out to be a “boo-rning” mistake.
• Hamlet is like a melodramatic teenager with a kingdom.
• Hamlet: The original emo teenager who took “ghosting” to a whole new level.
• I asked my friend if he’s seen Hamlet, and he said, “I don’t know, I haven’t checked my spam folder lately.”
• What did Hamlet say when he found out his dad’s ghost was haunting the castle? “Well, this is father-ly unexpected.”
• Polonius gave his son Laertes some sound advice: “Neither a borrower nor a lender be… unless you’re the king.”
• I thought Hamlet was a play about a pig who loved to dance. Turns out, I was way off.
• What did Ophelia say when Hamlet asked for a date? “Sorry, I’m drowning in other commitments.”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen? Because he liked to “pen” his thoughts about life and death.
• Hamlet’s inner monologue: To kill or not to kill? That is the question… Wait, was that the question?
• When in doubt, just blame everything on an uncle named Claudius.
• Why did Hamlet bring a pen and paper to the graveyard? To write a deathly good epitaph.
• Hamlet: making family reunions more awkward since 1603.
• Why did Hamlet always carry a map? Because he wanted to navigate his way through all the “plot twists.”
• Hamlet’s love life was a tragedy in itself, he couldn’t even swipe right on Tinder.
• Hamlet: the play that proves therapy could’ve solved a lot of problems.
• I asked my friend to summarize Hamlet in one sentence. He replied, ‘A prince tries to fix his family drama but ends up creating a lot more drama.’.
• Why did Hamlet join a gym? To work on his fencing skills, of course!
• Why did Hamlet fail at stand-up comedy? He was always too much of a serious jester.
• Hamlet’s indecisiveness is relatable, especially when deciding between pizza or tacos for dinner.
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite ice cream flavor? “Toffee or not toffee, that is the cone.”
• Hamlet was a terrible tennis player. He couldn’t decide whether to serve or not to serve.
• What did Hamlet say when he saw Ophelia knitting? “To knit or not to knit, that is the sweater.”
• Who needs a haunted castle when you have a family reunion?
• The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Maybe she should try meditation instead.
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? Because he always got the king!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of sandwich? A Ham-let-tuce sandwich!
• I asked my friend if he wanted to play a game of Hamlet trivia, but he said he couldn’t handle the play on words.
• Hamlet’s favorite bedtime story is “The Boy Who Cried Ghost.”
• Hamlet and Ophelia’s relationship was a real tragedy, it was a case of “to be with her or not to be with her.”
• What did Hamlet say to the skull at the dinner party? “Nice to meat you!”
• Hamlet is the original emo king.
• Why did Hamlet become a weatherman? Because he loved saying, “There’s something rotten in the state of Denmark.”
• What do you call a Shakespearean tragedy about Hamlet’s pet pig? “Hamletlet”
• To thine own self be true. Unless you’re a terrible person, then maybe try being someone else.
• What did Hamlet say when he entered a bakery? “To eat or not to eat, that is the question…but the answer is always pastry.”
• Hamlet tried to organize a theater performance but all the actors kept dying. It was a real tragedy, literally.
• I tried reading Hamlet, but I couldn’t get past Act 1, Scene 2 without falling asleep.
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? He wanted to be the president of the ‘To Weed or Not to Weed’ society.
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost? “You’re haunting my dreams, can’t you find a new hobby?”
• Why did Hamlet always bring a map to the theater? He couldn’t find his way out of a soliloquy.
• To be or not to be? More like to pee or not to pee during a three-hour play.
• Hamlet tried to start a band, but they could never agree on the name. They were always at odds.
• I asked my English teacher if he had read Hamlet, he said he couldn’t make a play on words.
• Hamlet’s favorite social media platform? To be or not to tweet.
• I wanted to read Hamlet, but I couldn’t find the play in Denmark… it must be lost in translation.
• Get thee to a nunnery. But make sure they have Wi-Fi.
• I told my friend I was going to watch Hamlet, and he said, “Hamlet? More like Ham-let me out of here!”
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost? “You’re really haunting my social life, Dad.”
• Hamlet’s favorite game is “Guess Who?” because he’s always questioning everyone’s true identity.
• I asked the ghost of Hamlet’s father for advice, but all he did was tell me to be or not to be.
• Hamlet joined a gym because he heard there were plenty of dumbbells in Denmark.
• Why did Hamlet bring a pillow to the graveyard? He wanted to rest in peace.
• Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. Oh wait, it’s just my expired yogurt.
• To be or not to be? That is the question, and I have no idea what the answer is.
• Hamlet got a new job as a tour guide in Denmark – he’s the Prince of Directions.
• Hamlet: the original emo prince, before it was cool.
• Hamlet’s obsession with Yorick’s skull is nothing compared to my obsession with my smartphone.
• Why did Hamlet break up with Ophelia? Because he couldn’t handle all the “drowning” in emotions.
• Hamlet, the only play where everyone talks to themselves and nobody thinks it’s weird.
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? He had too many soliloquies to deal with.
• Hamlet’s life could have been so much easier if he just had a therapist instead of a ghost for a dad.
• Hamlet was a great multitasker, he could contemplate life, death, and revenge all at once.
• Hamlet was the real Shakespearean influencer – he had a ghostwriter.
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the theater? Because he heard the play had a lot of high soliloquies.
• Why did Hamlet carry a tape measure? To measure the length of his soliloquies, of course.
• Hamlet walks into a bar. The bartender asks, ‘To be or not to be?’ Hamlet replies, ‘To drink or not to drink?’ and orders a beer.
• What did Hamlet say when asked about his love life? “It’s complicated. Just like my relationships with my family.”
• Alas, poor Yorick. He never paid me back that five bucks.
• Hamlet’s friends were always telling him to be more decisive, but he just couldn’t make up his mind.
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite dance move? The Alas-ka Shuffle.
• I tried to write my own version of Hamlet, but it ended up being a Ham-letdown.
• Why did Hamlet become a referee? Because he was an expert at calling “foul play!”
• Why did Hamlet become a lifeguard? He wanted to be the Prince of Denmark and save the waves.
• If Hamlet were alive today, he’d probably be the king of emo music.
• I tried to write a play like Hamlet once, but it was just a tragedy.
• Hamlet’s favorite type of exercise? Skull-pting.
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she asked if he was mad? “I’m just acting out, babe.”
• I asked my friend to lend me his copy of Hamlet, but he said he couldn’t part with it, it was too dear to him.
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a skull? “That’s one way to lose your head.”
• I wanted to audition for Hamlet, but I couldn’t decide whether to be or not to be a part of it.
• To be or not to be? Well, I guess that’s a soliloquy question.
• If Hamlet had a podcast, it would probably be called ‘To Speak or Not to Speak.’.
• If Shakespeare had a dollar for every time someone said “to be or not to be,” he’d be a rich man.
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was going to be a father? “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well.”
• Why was Hamlet always cold? Because he had a draft in the castle.
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she asked him to take her to the beach? “Get thee to a sandbar!”
• To be or not to be, that is the question. And the answer is…I’ll get back to you on that.
• Hamlet went to therapy and the therapist told him, “It sounds like you have some deep-seated unresolved family issues. I recommend talking to a ghost.”
• Hamlet’s favorite type of cereal? Ophelia O’s.
• Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Nordic-noir rock, obviously.
• What did Hamlet say to his friend who was always late? “To thine own tardiness be true.”
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening business? Because he wanted to sow seeds of doubt in his customers’ minds.
• Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Heavy soliloquy… it’s all about those deep lyrics and dramatic guitar riffs.
• What did Ophelia say when Hamlet proposed? “I don’t know, let me sleep on it.”
• Why did Hamlet carry a picture of his father? Because one glance turned him into a ghost-writer.

 

Hamlet Dad Jokes

Hamlet dad jokes are a unique fusion of Shakespearean wit and corny humor that can make you roll your eyes and chuckle simultaneously.

They’re the kind of jokes that are loaded with the bard’s wisdom, yet so ridiculously hilarious.

These jokes are perfect for literary clubs, English classroom banter, or simply to lighten up any Shakespeare enthusiasts’ day.

Prepare yourselves for the eye-rolls, and perhaps, a few ‘Alas, poor Yorick’ moments.

Here are some Hamlet dad jokes that are bound to entertain:

• What did Hamlet say to the ghost who was always making bad jokes? “Thou art a jester of grave importance!”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a famous statue? “To be or not to be, that is a moldy question!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? Because he couldn’t decide whether to hold or fold “To be or not to be”!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to take up acting? Because he didn’t want to “play” with his own emotions!
• What did Hamlet say when his friend asked for advice on dating? “To swipe right or not to swipe right, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat seafood? He didn’t want to be haunted by the ghost of fish past.
• Why did Hamlet bring a pencil to the graveyard? Because he wanted to “pencil” in the names of the deceased.
• What did Hamlet say to his procrastinating friend? “To do or not to do, that is your unfinished assignment!”
• Why did Hamlet become an actor? Because he wanted to play the role of someone who wasn’t constantly contemplating life and death!
• How did Hamlet express his love for gardening? By saying, “To mulch or not to mulch, that is the question!”
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was going to be the lead in a play? “To be or not to be… the star of the show!”
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he had a case of the “to be or not to be” indecisiveness!
• Why did Hamlet bring a map to the graveyard? Because he was afraid of losing his “To Be or Not To Be” monologue!
• How did Hamlet propose to Ophelia? He said, “Will you be the Ophelia to my Hamlet, or are we just playing Act 3, Scene 1?”
• Why did Hamlet take up gardening? Because he wanted to be well-versed in turning “swords into plowshares”!
• Why did Hamlet have trouble buying clothes? He was always in between “slings and arrows of outrageous fashion!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a mirror to the castle? He wanted to reflect on his own thoughts and soliloquies!
• Why was Hamlet always bad at math? Because he couldn’t “countenance” the numbers!
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he suffered from “Ophelia” complex!
• What did Hamlet say to his friend who couldn’t find his socks? “To find or not to find, that is the sock game!”
• Why did Hamlet carry a feather around? He wanted to tickle his funny bone!
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? Because he always wanted to be called “Hamlet, the world’s greatest investigator!”
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he wanted to dig deep into the roots of his existential crisis!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost in his basement? “Alas, poor Yorick, thou art a plumber!”
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he loved contemplating the “to seed or not to seed” question!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? Because he was the master of “pen”tration and wanted to write his own destiny!
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she couldn’t find her books? “To thine own shelf be true!”
• Why did Hamlet become a teacher? Because he loved giving his students a lesson on the “To be or not to be” question!
• Why did Hamlet become a chef? Because he loved to “cook” up a good soliloquy!
• Why did Hamlet have trouble sleeping? Because he was haunted by restless soliloquies!
• Why did Hamlet have trouble sleeping? Because his thoughts kept haunting him in “to sleep, perchance to dream” mode!
• Why did Hamlet become a tour guide? Because he loved giving “sight” specific monologues!
• Why was Hamlet a terrible gardener? He could never decide if he should let the flowers live or wither!
• Why did Hamlet fail his driving test? He couldn’t decide whether to yield to Yorick or not!
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally bumped into a ghost? “Oops, I didn’t see you there!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a dictionary? He wanted to add some extra “play-on-words” to his tragic monologues!
• Why did Hamlet start using an umbrella? Because he heard it was a good way to protect oneself from all the “slings and arrows” of the weather!
• Why did Hamlet struggle to use a computer? Because he couldn’t find the “Enter” key in his famous monologue!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pencil and paper? Because he wanted to document all his “to do” or “not to do” lists!
• Why did Hamlet become a poet? Because he had a “pen”chant for writing tragic verses.
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally bumped into a ghost? “To excuse or not to excuse, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a compass to the castle? He wanted to find his direction in life!
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the theater? Because he wanted to see the ghost in the box seats!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost who was late for the haunting? “To be or not to be on time, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? Because he loved the idea of being or not being a plant enthusiast!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost of his father? “You’re really starting to haunt me!”
• Why was Hamlet always the center of attention at parties? Because he was always “to be” or not “to be” dancing!
• What was Hamlet’s favorite game to play at parties? Musical “Skull” chairs!
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he wanted to be known as the “pruning” prince!
• What did Hamlet say to his incompetent actors? “To recite or not to recite, that is the question!”
• Why was Hamlet always losing his keys? Because he kept leaving them in the “Alas, poor Yorick” drawer!
• Why was Hamlet always cold? Because he could never find his “tights”!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he was tired of dealing with all the drama!
• Why did Hamlet go on a diet? Because he wanted to be or not to be a heavyweight!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to go camping? Because he didn’t want to sleep in a “Denmark” tent!
• Why did Hamlet go to the bakery? Because he wanted to get his Danish!
• Why was Hamlet terrible at telling jokes? Because he couldn’t find the “punchline” in his own tragedy!
• Why did Hamlet bring a map to the graveyard? Because he wanted to plot his next move!
• How did Hamlet fix his broken sword? He used some duct tape and said, “Alas, poor sword! I knew him well.”
• What did Hamlet say when he couldn’t decide whether to wear black or white? “To go all black or not to go all black, that is the wardrobe malfunction!”
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? Because he was fond of “weeding” out the truth!
• Why did Hamlet always bring a blanket to the theater? Because he liked to be wrapped up in the drama!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat his vegetables? Because he couldn’t decide if they were “to beet or not to beet!”
• Why did Hamlet become a weatherman? Because he could accurately predict if it would be “to rain or not to rain”!
• What do you call Hamlet’s favorite dance move? The “To Be or Not to Bee Bop!”
• Why did Hamlet get a job at the bakery? Because he loved “kneading” his father’s ghost!
• What did Hamlet say to the skeleton at the graveyard? “Yo, skull, nice to meet you. Mind if I borrow your jawbone for a moment?”
• Why did Hamlet go to the therapist? Because he was experiencing some “to be or not to be” existential crisis!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil and paper to the graveyard? He wanted to write a plot twist in his own tombstone!
• Why did Hamlet eat his cereal with a fork? Because he couldn’t find the knives!
• What did Hamlet say to his friend who asked for help with his math homework? “Neither a borrower nor a lender be, unless it’s algebra!”
• Why did Hamlet start a band? He wanted to perform “To be or not to be” as a death metal song!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? “To be or not to be-a” classic!
• Why did Hamlet become a hairdresser? Because he wanted to trim the “fringe” of his enemies!
• Why was Hamlet bad at fishing? Because he could never decide whether to be or not to be a master baiter!
• Why did Hamlet become an actor? Because he wanted to be the star of the play, not just the star-crossed lover!
• What did Hamlet say when his friend asked if he wanted to grab a bite to eat? “To eat or not to eat, that is the question!”
• How did Hamlet organize his army? He put his soldiers into Ophel-lines.
• Why was Hamlet always great at Scrabble? Because he loved to play with words, not swords!
• Why was Hamlet terrible at math? He could never make up his mind whether to add or subtract from the equation!
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to reach the high shelves, but alas, they were all for show!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? Because he always had too many “to be or not to bet” decisions!
• What did Hamlet say to the actors before they performed? “Break a leg… but please, no actual poison!”
• Why did Hamlet take up knitting? He wanted to weave his own tragic destiny!
• What do you call Hamlet’s favorite snack? Tragedy chips with “to dip or not to dip” sauce!
• Why did Hamlet bring a flashlight to bed? Because he was afraid of the dark prince lurking in his dreams!
• What did Hamlet say when he couldn’t find his favorite book? “I have lost my Shakespeare-let!”
• Why did Hamlet become a hairstylist? Because he loved giving people “to be or not to be” haircuts!
• Why did Hamlet become a stand-up comedian? Because he loved making everyone laugh with his “to joke or not to joke” humor!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out his favorite bookstore closed down? “Something is rotten in the state of bookland!”
• Why did Hamlet become a fisherman? Because he wanted to catch the conscience of the king mackerel!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out the theater was fully booked? “The play’s the thing, wherein I’ll catch the standby!”
• Why did Hamlet carry a suitcase to the castle? Because he wanted to “unpack” his troubled mind!
• Why was Hamlet terrible at basketball? Because he always hesitated before taking a shot, wondering if it was “to hoop or not to hoop!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he always saw through their “to bluff or not to bluff” strategies!
• What did Hamlet say when he found a mouse in his house? “Alas, poor rodent!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? To be ready for any “to be or not to be” moments!
• Why did Hamlet bring a tape measure to his soliloquy? Because he wanted to measure “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”!
• What did Hamlet say to the procrastinating student? “To study or not to study, that is the question!”
• What did Hamlet say when he was offered a role in a comedy play? “No, I’m not a comedian. I’m more of a tragedy enthusiast!”
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? Because he loved discussing “To seed or not to seed” in his free time!
• Why did Hamlet never trust his friends? Because he knew they were always “plotting” against him!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? In case he needed to write a “To-do or not to-do” list!
• What did Hamlet say when someone asked if he wanted to play hide and seek? “Neither a seeker nor a hider be!”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw his favorite ghost movie? “That’s the spirit!”
• How does Hamlet like his sandwiches? To be or not to be toasted!
• Why did Hamlet take up knitting? Because he enjoyed pondering the “to knit or not to knit” dilemma!
• Why did Hamlet join the track team? Because he was always “running” from his responsibilities!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pencil and paper? Because he wanted to be a playwright but couldn’t decide on a plot!
• Why did Hamlet join a fitness club? He wanted to be in shape for all the lifting of the spirits.
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost at the dinner table? “Mind if I specter a seat?”
• Why did Hamlet dislike math? Because he could never understand why “2B or not 2B”!
• Why did Hamlet struggle with his laundry? Because he could never decide whether to use “bleach or not to bleach”!
• Why did Hamlet never win at poker? Because he always folded when the stakes were “too high”!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was actually the King of Denmark? “Oh, the throne-y possibilities!”
• Why did Hamlet carry a map everywhere? Because he couldn’t find his “way” out of the tragedy!
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally bumped into a tree? “Out, out, damn sprout!”
• What do you call Hamlet when he’s having a bad hair day? A tangled prince.
• What did Ophelia say when she saw Hamlet’s messy room? “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and it’s your laundry!”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost in his kitchen? “Alas, poor Yorick, I ate him well!”
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he couldn’t play Scrabble? “Words, words, words!”
• Why did Hamlet join a band? Because he wanted to play the tragic “to be or not to beat” rhythm!
• What was Hamlet’s favorite type of dessert? To be or not to be-rry pie!
• How does Hamlet organize his books? He uses the “To Be” or “Not To Be” system!
• What did Hamlet say to the noisy audience at the theater? “Goodnight! Goodnight! Parting is such sweet sorrow, but please keep it down!”
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? Because he loved “solving” royal mysteries!
• Why did Hamlet bring a shovel to the graveyard? He heard there was a lot of grave dancing going on!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat pork? He didn’t want to eat a fellow “ham”let!
• Why did Hamlet get into acting? Because he thought it was a “to be” or not “to be” profession!
• Why did Hamlet love playing hide and seek? Because he was always good at “to seek” or not “to seek”!
• What do you call a Hamlet with no legs? Shakes-pear!
• Why did Hamlet fail as a stand-up comedian? Because his jokes were always too “grave” and had a lot of “pun-demonium”!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a map with him? Because he didn’t want to get lost in his own soliloquies!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was on a hidden camera show? “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? Because he always wanted to hold a “soliloquy” instead!
• Why did Hamlet get kicked out of the library? Because he couldn’t stop saying “To read or not to read!”
• Why did Hamlet hire a gardener? Because he wanted someone to help him dig up dirt on his enemies!
• Why did Hamlet become a hairstylist? Because he always knew how to handle “curls and whirls”!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost in his house? “It looks like someone forgot to pay the rent on their afterlife!”
• How did Hamlet react when he saw a ghost? He exclaimed, “Oh, what a spectre-cle!”
• Why was Hamlet such a good swordsman? He always knew how to fence in his opponents.
• Why did Hamlet start a band? Because he wanted to be the lead “trumpet” in Elsinore Orchestra!
• What do you call a ham actor in a Shakespeare play? Ophelia Bacon!
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he couldn’t stop contemplating existence, and it was really starting to “ghost” him!
• Why was Hamlet always on time? Because he believed in “to clock or not to clock, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a map around? Because he wanted to be sure he was always on the right To Be or Not To Be-ch!
• Why was Hamlet always on time? Because he had a “to be” or not “to be” alarm clock.
• Why was Hamlet bad at math? Because he was always struggling with “to be or not to be” equations.
• Why did Hamlet become a comedian? Because he couldn’t resist the chance to say, “Alas, poor Yorick, I crack jokes with him!”
• What did Hamlet say when he found a spider in his castle? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him not!”
• Why did Hamlet become a doctor? Because he wanted to specialize in “shakespearean” medicine!
• Why did Hamlet bring a compass to the graveyard? Because he wanted to find his way to the uncharted territory of the afterlife!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw his favorite pastry shop closed? “Alas, poor sweet rolls, I knew them well!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a broom to the castle? Because he wanted to sweep away all the backstabbing!
• Why did Hamlet join a band? Because he wanted to play the tragic flute solo during his soliloquies!
• Why did Hamlet become a baker? Because he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be a Danish prince or make Danish pastries!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? Because he was the prince of “pen” and “paper”!
• What did Hamlet say when someone asked about his favorite drink? “To beer or not to beer, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil and paper everywhere? Because he was always ready to write his next tragedy!
• What was Hamlet’s favorite board game? Checkmate!
• Why did Hamlet always carry an umbrella? Because he wanted to be prepared for “the slings and arrows of outrageous weather!”

 

Hamlet Jokes for Kids

Hamlet jokes for kids serve as an amusing introduction to the world of Shakespeare—witty, clever, and guaranteed to tickle the funny bones of the younger audience.

These jokes not only provide an entertaining and light-hearted way to explore classic literature, but they also stimulate kids’ imagination, creativity, and critical thinking skills.

Moreover, Hamlet jokes for kids can make learning English more enjoyable by turning iconic characters and famous quotes into a source of laughter.

They might even inspire a budding interest in drama and literature!

So, are you ready for some chuckles from Elsinore Castle?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them laughing all the way to the Globe Theater:

• What did Hamlet say to the skeleton at the party? “You’re the life of the party!”
• How did Hamlet spend his summer vacation? Visiting Denmark and taking selfies with the castle guards!
• What did Hamlet say to his girlfriend when he wanted to break up? “To be or not to be, that is the question!”
• What do you call a famous pig who loves Shakespeare? Hamlet the Ham!
• What do you call a ghost that is good at acting? A Shakespeare-spirit!
• Why did Hamlet bring a stopwatch to the castle? He wanted to see if time really is out of joint!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a mirror? Because he loved to reflect on his soliloquies!
• What do you call it when Hamlet loses his temper? A “Shakespearean” explosion!
• Why did Hamlet take up gardening? Because he wanted to be known as the “Prince of Pots.”
• Why did Hamlet bring a map to the graveyard? Because he didn’t want to get lost in “Alas, poor Yorick!” territory.
• What did Hamlet say to his friends after a long day? “The play’s over, let’s go grab some snacks!”
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of dessert? Skull-eton pudding!
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? Because he wanted to find out if something was “rotten” in Denmark!
• What did the ghost say to Hamlet? “Boo-tiful evening for some revenge!”
• What do you get when you cross Hamlet with a ghost? A Shakespearean haunting!
• Why did Hamlet have trouble sleeping? Because his mind was always full of “to sleep, perchance to dream”
• Why did Hamlet bring a map to the castle? Because he needed directions for “To go or not to go”!
• Why did Hamlet bring a pencil to the castle? Because he wanted to “draw” attention to himself!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite subject in school? Play-wrighting!
• What did Hamlet say when he won the game of charades? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well!”
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite musical instrument? A “to be or not to be” drum!
• Why was Hamlet always invited to parties? Because he was a great “play”-er!
• Why did the pig bring a copy of Hamlet to the party? Because he wanted to be the “ham” of the show!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pencil and eraser? Because he was a master of “to be or not to be” sketching!
• What did Hamlet say when he won the lottery? “Something is definitely rotten in Denmark… my luck!”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost? “You’re really raising my spirits!”
• Why did Hamlet bring an umbrella to the theater? Because he heard there was going to be some “play”-ing in the rain!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pen and paper everywhere he went? Because he was always ready for some “play”-writing!
• Why was Hamlet always invited to parties? Because he was the “Prince” of entertainment!
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? Because he was always good at solving “To be or not to be” mysteries!
• Why did Hamlet bring his piggy bank to the graveyard? He wanted to pay his “two cents” to the dead!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost who told him a joke? “That’s some “grave” humor!”
• What did Hamlet say to his friend who wasn’t paying attention? “To be or not to be, that is the question… pay attention!”
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he was going to be king? “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark… but it’s not me!”
• What did Hamlet say to his best friend when they were lost in the woods? “I’m starting to think this isn’t a comedy!”
• What do you call a nervous Hamlet? Shakespearean in his boots!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play card games? Because he didn’t like “playing” with his own fate!
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? Because he loved to “uncover” the truth!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil and paper wherever he went? So he could “pen” his thoughts!
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the play? Because he heard the role called for a “stair actor”!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he had a twin brother? “Alas, poor Yorick, I could have had a clone!”
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he won the lottery? “To be or not to be… rich!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a book to the theater? Because he wanted to read a play on words!
• Why did Hamlet bring an umbrella to the graveyard? Because he heard it was going to be a “grave” situation!
• Why did Hamlet bring a map to the cemetery? Because he wanted to find the grave-yards!
• What did Hamlet say to his friends when they asked him to go fishing? “I’m not a fan of fishing, it’s too much ado about nothing!”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a funny joke? “Alas, poor Yorick, I laughed a lot!”
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil to the graveyard? To draw out Yorick’s funny bone!
• How did Hamlet fix his broken sword? With duct tape – to be or not to be a handyman!
• Why did Hamlet have trouble eating his dinner? Because he couldn’t decide whether to be or not to be hungry!
• What do you call Hamlet when he gets angry? William Shakes-fury!
• What did Hamlet say when he lost his favorite toy? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well!” (Toy was named Yorick).
• Why did Hamlet become a chef? Because he wanted to serve up some “to be or not to be”ef stew!
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he had a lot of unresolved family issues!
• What do you call Hamlet’s pet cat? The Prince of Whiskers!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil to the graveyard? To be “2B” or not “2B”, that is the question!
• Why did Hamlet always wear black? Because it was his “mourning routine.”
• Why did Hamlet bring his pet pig to the castle? Because he wanted to introduce everyone to “Hamlet’s ham(let)”
• Why did Hamlet go to the pet store? Because he wanted to buy a “Alas, poor Yorick” Russell Terrier!
• Why did Hamlet always get lost in the forest? Because he couldn’t decide which way was “to go or not to go”!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out his friend was a ghost? “You’re just a-scare-us!”
• Why did Hamlet take a nap in the graveyard? Because he needed some rest in peace!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out he couldn’t use his smartphone during the play? “To text or not to text, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a map to the library? Because he was searching for “plot” twists!
• Why did the ghost go to the library? To find the “spook-tacular” edition of Hamlet!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost at the library? “Shhh, I’m trying to read!” .
• Why did Hamlet bring his dog to the theater? Because he wanted to see a “Shakespeare in the Bark” performance!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil and paper to bed? So he could have “to sleep, perchance to sketch!”
• Why did the actor refuse to play the role of Hamlet? Because he thought it was too “hammy”!
• What did Hamlet say when he won a game of chess? “Checkmate, my kingdom for a horse!”
• Why did Hamlet go to the comedy club? Because he wanted some “jest-ice”!
• What do you call a playful ghost in “Hamlet”? A “sheet-er” delight!
• Why did Hamlet go to the comedy show? To find some “comic relief” from his tragic life!
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally dropped his crown? “I can’t hold the Dane anymore!”
• Why did Hamlet have a hard time making decisions? Because he was always “to be or not to be-ing.”
• What did Hamlet say to his friends when they asked why he always carried a skull? “To skull or not to skull, that is the bone-chilling question!”
• What do you call a ham actor? Omelet!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with the other characters? Because he always had a “to be or not to be” face!
• Why did Hamlet join a band? Because he wanted to play some skull-shaking music!
• Why did Hamlet become a teacher? Because he knew all about “to teach or not to teach.”
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he was having trouble with his “to be or not to be” decision.
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? Because he wanted to solve the mystery of his father’s ghostly appearance!
• What did Hamlet say when he found his lost horse? “Alas, poor Yorick, I found thee!”
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? “Rock”-ing soliloquies!
• Why did Hamlet start a comedy club? Because he loved to “jest”!
• Why did Hamlet’s dog refuse to go to the castle? It didn’t want to be “barking up the wrong throne”!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a map? Because he didn’t trust his GPS to find the way out of Denmark!
• What did Hamlet say to his girlfriend? “Get thee to a punnery!”
• What do you get when you cross Hamlet with a snowman? “To freeze or not to freeze, that is the snowman’s dilemma!”
• What do you call Hamlet’s favorite dessert? A “tragic” sundae!
• What do you get when you cross Hamlet with a detective? A play called “To Be or Not To Be: That is the Mystery!”
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite kind of music? Rock-speare!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite kind of music? Danish rock and roll!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a compass? Because he needed to make sure he was “on course” for revenge!
• Why did Hamlet throw a party? Because he wanted to prove that the play’s the thing!
• What’s the most musical part of Hamlet? The “tooting” part!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost that scared him? “You really know how to make a guy jump out of his skin!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because he never wanted to be “hidden behind the arras”!
• What do you call a group of Hamlets singing together? A “To Be or Not to Choir”!
• What did Hamlet say to his friends when they couldn’t solve a riddle? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well!” (I know the answer!).
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pencil and paper? Because he wanted to take “notes of a troubled prince”!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost when he was tired? “To sleep, perchance to dream…”
• What do you get when you cross a Danish prince with a flea? Ham-let!
• What do you get when you cross Hamlet with a haunted house? A “to be or not to boo” experience!
• Why did Hamlet go to the bakery? Because he heard they had “to be or not to be”agels!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? Because he was the Prince of Denmark and needed to write his “Denmark’s Got Talent” auditions!
• Why did Hamlet carry a map everywhere? Because he didn’t want to be lost in the “Danes”!
• Why did Hamlet take a nap? Because he wanted to sleep, perchance to dream!
• Why did Hamlet go to the pet store? Because he wanted to get a “skull-dog” to be his faithful companion!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost who didn’t want to scare people anymore? “To boo or not to boo, that is the question!”
• Why did the skull go to the library? Because it wanted to check out “Hamlet”!
• What did Hamlet say to his mom when she asked if he wanted some tea? “No thank you, I’m not in the mood for Ophelia-tea!”
• Why did Hamlet take up boxing? To be the heavyweight champion of Denmark!
• Why did Hamlet bring a mirror to the duel? So he could reflect on his actions.
• Why did Hamlet bring a napkin to the play? In case he had to wipe his tears – it’s a tragedy after all!
• What did Hamlet say when he found a ghost in his room? “Wow, you’re haunting-ly familiar!”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost in his house? “Long time, no see!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a map? Because he was constantly searching for “the undiscovered country!”
• What did Hamlet say when he won the lottery? “O happy dagger, this is a winning ticket!”
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she couldn’t find her book? “Get thee to a library!”
• What did Hamlet say to his friend when he needed a hand? “Can you lend me your ‘ears’?”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a book with him? Because he loved reading “skull-ular” literature!
• What did the ghost say to Hamlet during a game of hide-and-seek? “I’ll be hiding in the ‘grave’-yard!”
• Why did Hamlet have trouble sleeping? Because his pillow was full of “to be or not to be” feathers!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? “To rock or not to rock, that is the question!”
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost? “You’re really out of your element… you should be haunting, not acting!”
• Why did Hamlet take his pig to the theater? Because he wanted to see a pork-trayal!
• Why did Hamlet become a baker? Because he couldn’t resist making lots of Danish!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost? “You’re transparently spooky!”
• Why did Hamlet always win at poker? Because he could always “hold his own”
• Why did Hamlet become a baker? Because he wanted to make lots of “tragic” pastries!
• Why did Hamlet carry a tissue? Because he was always trying to wipe away the “to be” or “not to be” tears!

 

Hamlet Jokes for Adults

Who says that Shakespeare is only for the literary elite?

Hamlet jokes for adults bring a highbrow twist to your typical humor, combining sophisticated wit with iconic moments from one of Shakespeare’s most enduring tragedies.

Just like the play itself, these jokes straddle the line between comedy and tragedy, between the profound and the profane, offering a hearty laugh with a dash of intellectualism.

These jokes are perfect for cocktail parties, book clubs, or simply to lighten up a serious discussion among Shakespeare enthusiasts.

Here are some Hamlet jokes that are perfectly suited for adults:

• Why did Hamlet refuse to use PowerPoint for his presentation? He preferred “To slide or not to slide” as the question!
• What did Hamlet say when he spotted a ghost in his bedroom? “To sleep, perchance to scream!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the theater? He wanted to reach the high notes of the “To be or not to be” soliloquy!
• Why did Hamlet join a choir? Because he wanted to sing his soliloquies in harmony!
• What did Hamlet say when his teacher asked him about his essay on indecisiveness? “I’ll think about it!”
• Why did Hamlet take up gardening? He wanted to “plant” his revenge on Claudius!
• Why did Hamlet never get invited to poker nights? He was always suspicious of the “to bluff or not to bluff” strategy!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he couldn’t handle the constant “to bet or not to bet” dilemma!
• Why did Hamlet get kicked out of the library? He couldn’t handle all the “shhhhhh”!
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally bumped into a wall? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well!”
• Why did Hamlet always win at hide-and-seek? Because no one could find him in the closet!
• Why did Hamlet start a rock band? He wanted to sing his famous soliloquies to a catchy beat – “To rock or not to rock, that is the question!”
• What’s the favorite game of the characters in Hamlet? Guess Who!
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally walked into a bakery? “Goodnight, sweet rolls!”
• Why couldn’t Hamlet find his phone? Because it was in the grave digger’s pocket!
• How did Hamlet feel after successfully completing a Sudoku puzzle? All ‘to do’ lists were crossed out!
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the theater? He wanted to raise the bar for dramatic entrances!
• What did Hamlet say to his actor friends? “Break a leg, but don’t take it literally!”
• What did Hamlet say when he found his favorite sandwich missing? “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well, but he couldn’t resist my hunger!”
• Why did Hamlet have trouble solving math problems? He was always unsure whether the answer should be “2B” or “not 2B”!
• Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the theater? Because he heard the play was going to be a tragedy and wanted a higher perspective!
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she handed him a love letter? “I don’t have the time for love, I’m too busy contemplating mortality!”
• Why did Hamlet become a stand-up comedian? Because he wanted to make everyone laugh “out, out, brief candle”!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat the soup? Because he suspected it was full of “toil and trouble!”
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? He wanted to be surrounded by “groundlings” all the time!
• Why did Hamlet become a vegetarian? Because he couldn’t decide whether to be or not to be a meat-eater!
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he liked to dig up the dirt on everyone!
• Why did Hamlet never become a magician? He couldn’t decide between “to disappear or not to disappear!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he was afraid of facing the ghost in the deck!
• What did Hamlet say to the skull he found? “Alas, poor Yorick, you’re a real cranium teaser!”
• Why did Hamlet open a bakery? Because he wanted to make “to eat or not to eat” pastries!
• Why was Hamlet so good at playing hide-and-seek? Because he could always find his father’s ghost!
• What do you call it when Hamlet takes a break from acting? A soliloquy vacation!
• Why did Hamlet become a stand-up comedian? He had a knack for delivering killer punchlines!
• Why did Hamlet get into trouble at the library? He couldn’t resist saying, “To read or not to read, that is the question!”
• What was Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Soliloquy!
• Why did Hamlet become a boxer? Because he wanted to fight for his right to be or not to be!
• Why did Ophelia bring a ladder to the library? She wanted to read “Hamlet” on the highest shelf, of course!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost at the grocery store? “Something is rotten in the produce section!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because he was always found in the “to be or not to be” hiding spot!
• What did Hamlet say when he found an excellent deal on a sword? “To buy or not to buy, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet start a garden? He wanted to watch something “rotten” grow!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite board game? Opheli-Yahtzee!
• Why did Hamlet become a barber? He wanted to make a clean cut with his soliloquies!
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? He couldn’t decide if he was suffering from “melancholy” or “madness”!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he didn’t want to be dealt the “to be or not to be” card!
• Why did Hamlet bring his own pen to the play? Because he wanted to be the one to write the final “act”!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite exercise? The “to be” curl-ups!
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally broke a mirror? “Ah, to be or not to be… superstitious!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? He didn’t want to be caught with a king in his hand!
• Why did Hamlet join a gym? He wanted to be fit enough to lift Yorick’s skull!
• Why did Hamlet have a difficult time playing hide-and-seek? He was always haunted by the ghost of his hiding spot!
• What do you call Hamlet when he’s had too much to drink? A little shaken, not stirred, like his soliloquies!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? He wanted to document every “play” in his life!
• Why did Hamlet become a magician? He always wanted to make Ophelia disappear!
• What did Hamlet say when he was given a bad haircut? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well… until now!”
• Why did Hamlet throw a party for the whole kingdom? He wanted to “shake up” the royal family!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite game? To be or not to be… a ghost in hide-and-seek!
• Why was Hamlet always late for appointments? Because he couldn’t decide whether ‘to go’ or ‘not to go’!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pencil to the theater? To be able to rewrite the play on the spot!
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? He wanted to be known for his famous “To seed or not to seed” speech!
• Why did Hamlet start wearing jogging shoes? He wanted to be able to run into his father’s ghost faster!
• Why did Hamlet become a vegetarian? He didn’t want to be associated with a “rotten state”!
• What’s Hamlet’s go-to pickup line? “Are you Ophelia? Because you’ve got me going mad!”
• Why did Hamlet become a stand-up comedian? He loved making people laugh so much, he wanted to make Yorick up there chuckle too!
• What did Hamlet say when he found out the theater was sold out? “Alas, poor ticket sales!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper with him? Because he wanted to write some dramatic soliloquies on the go!
• What did Hamlet say when he found a tiny insect on his shoulder? “To squash or not to squash, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet start a band? He wanted to be the lead singer of “To be or not to be-sharps!”
• Why did Hamlet open a bakery? He wanted to serve the best “toast or not to toast” in town!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to join the circus? He didn’t want to be known as the “Dane lion” tamer!
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost who offered him a drink? “I can’t, I’m already well acquainted with the spirits!”
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? He wanted to make sure everyone had a “plot” twist in their lives!
• What did the ghost of Hamlet’s father say to him? “To be or not to be… I’m still deciding!”
• What did Hamlet say to the ghost of his father when it appeared in his bedroom? “Dad, you really need to start knocking before entering!”
• Why did Hamlet join a gym? He wanted to work on his “toil and trouble” muscles!
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? Because he had a knack for solving cases of “foul play”!
• Why did Hamlet become a therapist? He was great at helping people deal with their “to be or not to be” dilemmas!
• Why did Hamlet break up with Ophelia? Because he realized he had too much “drama” in his life already!
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? He needed help dealing with all those “to be or not to be” existential crises!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat the Danish bacon? Because he didn’t want to eat his relatives!
• Why did Hamlet join the gym? He wanted to be able to lift the weight of the world on his shoulders!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of party? A masquerade, where everyone is pretending to be someone else, just like him!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with the other characters? Because they were always dealing with treys!
• Why was Hamlet always on the internet? He was always searching for “to click or not to click”!
• What did Hamlet’s father say when he saw his ghostly appearance? “You look like you’ve seen a Claudius!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards? He didn’t want to face the king, the queen, or any jacks!
• Why did Hamlet fail his math test? He couldn’t figure out if “2B or not 2B” was the correct answer!
• Why did Hamlet carry an umbrella? To be ready for “shakespearean” showers of soliloquies!
• What did Hamlet say when he finally got his revenge? “Et tu, Brute? Oh wait, wrong play!”
• Why did Hamlet start a band? Because he wanted to play music that was “to be or not to be” in tune!
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite kind of music? Heavy metal, of course!
• Why was Hamlet so good at tennis? He had a great “to be” serve!
• What did Hamlet say when he ran out of toilet paper? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well…but not well enough to use his skull as tissue!”
• How did Hamlet respond when someone asked him if he believed in ghosts? “I have a lot of unresolved issues with them!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? Because he wanted to be a master of playwrite!
• Why did Hamlet fail as a stand-up comedian? He couldn’t decide whether to deliver the punchline or not!
• Why did Hamlet always win at poker? He had a royal flush in his bloodline!
• Why did Hamlet become an optometrist? He wanted to help people see the ghost of his father!
• Why did Hamlet always have a hard time finding parking? He couldn’t decide whether to park in the “to be” zone or the “not to be” zone!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw his favorite musical? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him in the key of C!”
• Why did Hamlet visit the dentist? He wanted to check if his “tooth or not tooth” dilemma was real!
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he wanted to dig up the truth like he dug up graves!
• What do you call a group of Hamlets? A soliloquy of actors!
• Why did Polonius switch to a career in stand-up comedy? Because he thought, “Brevity is the soul of wit!”
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? Because he had a knack for uncovering “to be or not to be” mysteries!
• What did the ghost of Hamlet’s father say to him when he was running late? “To be or not to be on time, that is the question!”
• What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of dance? The sword-dance!
• What do you call it when Hamlet’s horse takes a nap? A stable tragedy!
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? He wanted to be the one to say, “To seed or not to seed, that is the question!”
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she borrowed his pen? To be ink or not to be ink, that is the question!
• Why did Hamlet become an actor? He wanted to play all the roles, from prince to grave digger!
• Why did Ophelia become a gardener? Because she was tired of being a pawn in everyone else’s game!
• What did Hamlet say to his therapist? “To be, or not to be… that is the question I keep asking myself!”
• Why did Hamlet bring a magnifying glass to his father’s funeral? He wanted to investigate the “foul play” more closely!
• What do you call Hamlet when he’s gone to the beach? Sandy Olé!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat at the local diner? He heard their slogan was “To eat or not to eat, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet fail his cooking class? Because he couldn’t decide whether to “stew or not to stew” the ingredients!
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? He had a passion for digging up dirt on his enemies!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw someone enjoying a good book? “Ah, to read or not to read, that is the question!”
• Why did Hamlet get in trouble at the library? He couldn’t help but say “Shhhhakespeare” every time he saw a book by the Bard!
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia after she broke up with him? “To be or not to be, that is your question!”
• What did Rosencrantz say to Guildenstern after watching Hamlet’s soliloquy? “Well, that was a monologue and a half!”
• What did Hamlet say when he saw his piggy bank was empty? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, piglet!”
• Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he had a lot of experience digging up dirt on people!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? He was always hesitant to “shuffle off this mortal coil”!
• Why did Hamlet bring his cat to the castle? To be or not to be a “meow”-let!
• What did Hamlet do when he couldn’t decide what to wear? He put on some doublet and hose!
• What do you call Hamlet when he’s acting in a comedy? The Bard of Laughter!
• Why did Hamlet become a detective? He was always searching for clues to the “murder most foul”!
• Why was Hamlet always losing at poker? Because he couldn’t decide whether to hold or fold!
• Why did Hamlet fail as a stand-up comedian? He couldn’t stop delivering soliloquies during his punchlines!
• Why did Hamlet bring an umbrella to the graveyard? To protect himself from the “slings and arrows” of unpredictable weather!
• Why did Hamlet have a hard time playing hide and seek? He couldn’t decide whether to hide or not to hide!
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when they went to a seafood restaurant? “To shrimp or not to shrimp, that is the crustacean!”
• Why did Hamlet go to therapy? He needed help dealing with his family’s unresolved issues!
• What did Hamlet say to Ophelia before they broke up? “To be or not to be, that is the question, and the answer is ‘not to be’ with you!”
• Why did Hamlet always carry a pen and paper? He wanted to be ready to take “notes or not to note” during important soliloquies!
• Why did Hamlet start a gardening club? Because he loved seeing “the undiscovered country” bloom with beautiful flowers!
• Why did Hamlet become a weatherman? Because he was always asking, “To rain or not to rain?”
• What did Hamlet say when he discovered a spider in his bed? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio… but I didn’t know he had eight legs!”
• Why was Hamlet terrible at basketball? Because he could never make a “to hoop” shot!
• Why did Hamlet start a bakery? He believed in kneading the dough of his own destiny!
• Why did Hamlet carry a pencil and paper with him everywhere? He didn’t trust his “to be or not to be” memory!
• How did Hamlet like his coffee? To be or not to be, that is the espresso!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat dinner? He had a “to be or not to be” appetite!
• What do you call a hamster who can recite Shakespeare? Hamlet, the hamster of thespians!
• Why did Hamlet refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he knew they were all kings, queens, and jacks of deception!
• Why did Hamlet dislike fast food? He believed in taking his time, not “to eat or not to eat” hastily!
• Why did the ghost of King Hamlet start a music band? Because he wanted to haunt the airwaves!
• What did Hamlet say when he saw a skeleton on stage? “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well… at least, I thought I did!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to go on roller coasters? He didn’t want to be caught in a “gravedigger’s scene”!
• Why did Hamlet join a fitness club? Because he wanted to be in a play where the weight was lifted off his shoulders!
• What did Hamlet say when he accidentally stubbed his toe? “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio!”
• Why did Hamlet refuse to eat his dinner? Because it was full of poisoned mushrooms!
• Why did Hamlet become a successful actor? Because he could always remember his lines – “To be or not to be!”
• Why was Hamlet always cold? Because he could never find the heating in Elsinore castle!
• Why did Hamlet always carry a map? So he could plot his revenge on the go!

 

Hamlet Joke Generator

Coming up with Hamlet jokes on the spot can sometimes feel like a tragedy.

(To be or not to be funny, that’s the question!)

That’s when our FREE Hamlet Joke Generator comes on stage to steal the show.

Designed to weave clever puns, dramatic humor, and classic Shakespearean phrases, it creates jokes that are certain to elicit laughter fit for a king.

Don’t let your humor be a rotten state of Denmark.

Use our joke generator to craft jokes that are as fresh and captivating as the Prince of Denmark himself.

 

FAQs About Hamlet Jokes

Why are Hamlet jokes so popular?

Hamlet jokes are popular due to the widespread familiarity with Shakespeare’s tragedy, Hamlet.

The play’s iconic characters, memorable quotes, and dramatic themes make it a rich source for humor.

They offer a unique blend of literary wit and light-hearted fun.

 

Can Hamlet jokes help in social situations?

Absolutely!

Hamlet jokes can serve as an ice breaker or conversation starter, especially in a group that appreciates literature or drama.

They also offer a fun way to demonstrate your cultural knowledge and witty sense of humor.

 

How can I come up with my own Hamlet jokes?

1. Start by understanding the play’s plot, characters, and most famous quotes.
2. Consider the themes of Hamlet—revenge, betrayal, madness. Try to create humor around these themes.
3. Think about common phrases or idioms related to the play. Can you twist them into something funny?
4. Use puns or wordplay related to the characters’ names or the language of the play.
5. Inject humor into dramatic or serious situations from the play to create an amusing contrast.

 

Are there any tips for remembering Hamlet jokes?

Link the joke to a specific scene or character from the play.

The more you relate the joke to the original context, the easier it will be to remember.

Also, practice makes perfect—tell your jokes often to help them stick in your memory.

 

How can I make my Hamlet jokes better?

Timing is key in any joke, but particularly so with Hamlet jokes.

Deliver your punchline at the right moment for maximum effect.

Also, knowing your audience is important.

If they’re familiar with Hamlet, you can include deeper references for a more sophisticated laugh.

 

How does the Hamlet Joke Generator work?

The Hamlet Joke Generator uses your inputs to create custom, humorous content.

Enter keywords related to a character or situation from Hamlet, and press the Generate Jokes button.

You’ll receive a list of unique Hamlet-themed jokes to entertain your audience.

 

Is the Hamlet Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Hamlet Joke Generator is completely free!

Generate as many Shakespearean laughs as you’d like.

It’s the perfect tool to add a touch of literary humor to your social feeds or conversations.

 

Conclusion

Hamlet jokes are a delightful way to add a dash of literary humor to everyday conversations, making life a bit more enjoyable with each laugh.

From the quick and witty to the long and laugh-inducing, there’s a Hamlet joke for every occasion.

So next time you’re immersed in Shakespearean prose, remember, there’s humor to be found in every soliloquy, scene, and sonnet.

Keep spreading the laughs, and let the good times bard and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without Hamlet—unimaginable and, frankly, a bit less dramatic.

Happy joking, everyone!

Ghost Jokes to Spook Up Your Humor

Theater Jokes That Deserve A Standing Ovation

Elizabethan Jokes That Are Too Classic to Forget

Shakespeare Jokes That Will Make You Laugh in Iambic Pentameter

Tragedy Jokes for a Dramatically Hilarious Twist