430 Hippo Jokes for a Beastly Good Time

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re ready to wade into the world of hippo jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the most gigantic laughs.

That’s why we’ve gathered a list of the most hilarious hippo jokes.

From river-horse rib-ticklers to jumbo-sized jests, our compilation has a joke for every aspect of life.

So, let’s plunge into the thick-skinned humor of hippo hilarity, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Hippo Jokes

Hippo jokes are for those who appreciate the sheer hilarity hidden in the animal kingdom.

These jokes not only revolve around the physical attributes of hippos but also play around the general misconceptions and surprising facts about them.

Hippos, with their enormous size, distinct shape, and seemingly laid-back nature, offer a rich source of material for light-hearted humor.

They play a prominent role in children’s literature and media, making them familiar and lovable figures in our collective consciousness.

Creating the perfect hippo joke involves toying with their characteristics, habits, and a dash of creativity.

It could be their surprising speed despite their massive weight, their love for lounging in water or even their intimidating yawn that reveals large, powerful teeth; there’s always something about hippos that tickles our funny bone.

Ready for a heavy dose of humor?

Dive into the hilarious world of hippo jokes:

Why do hippos make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are always a little “hippo-critical”!
What did the hippo say to the elephant at the zoo? “Hey, you’re irrelephant!”
What’s a hippo’s favorite sport? Hippo-critical!
What did the hippo say when he stubbed his toe? “That’s just hippo-critical!”
What did the hippo say when he sat on a tack? “That’s a pain in the asp!”
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the gym? “I’m not just here to work on my hippo-trophy!”
What’s a hippo’s favorite restaurant? The Watering Hole!
What did one hippo say to the other in a hurry? “I have no time to punder!”
What do you get when you cross a hippo and a rhino? Hell if I know, but I’d definitely stay away from it!
Why did the hippo bring a camera to the swimming pool? It wanted to take “hippo-selfies”!
Why don’t hippos use cell phones? They prefer carrier pigeons instead!
What do you call a hippo that’s always in a hurry? A “hippo-tornado”!
Why did the hippo bring a watermelon to the dentist? It wanted to have a “hippo-crown”!
What do you call a hippo that can juggle? A hippopotamagician!
What’s a hippo’s favorite board game? Hungry Hungry Hippos, of course!
Why did the hippo go to the hospital? It had a hippo-lyte imbalance!
Why don’t hippos play hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted!
Why did the hippo bring sunscreen to the beach? Because it didn’t want to be a “hippo-crit” and get sunburned!
Why did the hippo go to the dentist? Because he had a cavity, but he was too scared to tell the dentist!
How do hippos greet each other? Hippo, nice to meet you!
Why did the hippo start a fight with the rhino? It had a beef with him!
Why did the hippo go to space? It wanted to meet the other rockets.
Why did the hippo refuse to get on the scale? It didn’t want to face the brutal hippo-cracy!
How do hippos stay cool in the summer? They go to the swimming-pool-opotamus!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the pool? Because he was planning to go on a “hippo-cation”!
Why don’t hippos ever get lonely? Because they always have plenty of “hippo”-tunities to make friends!
Why did the hippo always carry an umbrella? In case of hippo-critical weather!
What did the hippo say to his friend when he lost his wallet? “I’ve gone banko!”
What do you call a hippo that can play the piano? A hippopotamust!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the zoo? I like you a ton!
Why did the hippo wear a tutu? Because it was going to a hippo-hop dance!
Why don’t hippos like playing cards in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why did the hippo wear a tutu? Because it wanted to ballet dance-sance with the other animals!
Why did the hippo go to the spa? It wanted to have a hippo-mani-pedi!
How do you make a hippo float? Take away its chair!
What do you call a hippo that tells jokes? A hilarious hippopota-comedian!
Why don’t hippos like playing cards in the wild? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs!
Why did the hippo go on a diet? It wanted to feel hip-and-thin!
How does a hippo greet its friends? With a big hippo-high-five!
Why did the hippo sit on the clock? It wanted to be on “hippo” time!
What do you get when you cross a hippo with a cow? A very moody milk producer!
Why did the hippo go to the doctor? It had a case of the “I’m-tired-of-being-called-fat” blues.
Why did the hippo go to school? It wanted to be a “heavyweight” champion!
What do you call a hippo in a tutu? A hippo ballerina!
What do you call a hippo with a rubber toe? Roberto!
Why did the hippo start a band? Because it already had the “hippo-tential” to be a great musician!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the zoo? “I’m hungry, but I don’t want to have to wait for the zookeeper!”
What do you call a hippo that won’t stop singing? A hippopotamusician!
What did the hippo say to the dentist? “Do you mind if I open wide?”
Why did the hippo refuse to share its food? It didn’t want to be a “hippo-crite”!
Why don’t hippos make good employees? They always call in hippo-sick!
What did the hippo say to his friend when he lost weight? “I’m looking hippotastic!”
What did the hippo say to the other hippo when they bumped into each other? “Sorry, my fault. I guess I’m just a little clumsy!”
Why did the hippo start a fight with the rhino? He had a hippothesis that he could win!
Why are hippos so good at telling jokes? Because they have a great “hippo-sense” of humor!
How do hippos communicate with each other? They use hippotheses!
Why don’t hippos use computers? Because they already have too many megabytes!
Why did the hippo become a stand-up comedian? Because he was tired of being a “heavy” actor!
Why did the hippo go to the bank? To get some money for his piggy bank!
What did the hippo say when it fell in love? “I’m hippopotamorous about you!”
How does a hippo greet other animals? Hippo-potamoose to meet you!
What did the hippo say when it bumped into the elephant? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hog the space!”
Why don’t hippos like playing cards? Because they’re always near the river and can’t hold a hand!
What do you call a dancing hippo? A hippo-hop-otamus!
Why did the hippo go to the bank? To get his large “hip” savings!
Why did the hippo start a fight with the elephant? Because it wanted to prove it was the heavyweight champion of the animal kingdom!
What do you get when you cross a hippo and a rhino? Hell if I know, but I wouldn’t want to find out!
What do hippos call their friends? Chumsquats!
Why did the hippo start a band? Because it already had the drums – its big belly!
Why did the hippo bring a clock to the party? Because it wanted to have a hippo good time!
Why did the hippo wear a red t-shirt? Because it wanted to blend in with the “red” sea!
Why did the hippo blush? Because it saw the zookeeper pawsome!
What did the hippo say to the lion at the zoo? Nothing, it’s a hippo!
What do you call a hippo that never wants to be alone? A party pooper!

Short Hippo Jokes

Short hippo jokes are like a well-timed hippopotamus belch—loud, surprising, and always sure to get a laugh.

These jokes are perfect for children’s birthday parties, zoo visits, or simply to bring a wild touch to your daily conversation.

The beauty of short hippo jokes lies in their blend of wordplay and absurdity, creating humor out of one of nature’s most majestic and formidable creatures.

Get ready to chuckle like a hippo in a mud bath!

Here are short hippo jokes that deliver a splash of fun in just a few words.

A hamburger that’s hard to catch!
Why did the hippo always bring an umbrella to school?
How do hippos write love letters? With hippo-thetical questions!
What do you call a hippo that’s constantly playing pranks? A hippo-teaser!
The hippo-hop!
For hippo-rain protection!
Why don’t hippos make good secretaries? They can’t work without a hippo-disk!
What’s a hippo’s favorite holiday? Hippo-thanksgiving!
What do you call a hippo that’s out of shape?
It wanted to check its hippo-account!
What’s a hippo’s favorite dance move?
Because it was going on a hippo-vacation!
Why are hippos so heavy? Because they eat whatever ticks them off!
What’s a hippo’s favorite sport? Hippo-potamus racing!
A heavy-hippo-tonus!
It wanted to create hip-pottery!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase? For a hippo-trip!
What did the hippo say after eating a clown? That tasted funny!
What’s a hippo’s favorite movie? The Elephant in the Room!
Why are hippos so bad at telling jokes? They always get tongue-tied!
How do hippos like to communicate? They use hippo-glyphics!
Why don’t hippos ever get sunburned? They have a thick hippo-dermis!
Hello, hippo-potamoose!
Anything you want, it can’t see you!
What’s a hippo’s favorite exercise? “Heavy-weights” lifting!
Why do hippos always win at poker? They’re experts at bluffing!
Because it wanted to be a high-potamus!
Why did the hippo become an artist?

Hippo Jokes One-Liners

Hippo one-liner jokes embody humor in a concise, playful package.

They’re the comedic counterpart of a hippo’s surprising grace in water – unexpected, delightful, and ingeniously amusing.

Constructing an excellent one-liner involves a mix of wit, sharpness, and a profound love for the craft of humor.

The challenge lies in packing both setup and punchline into a brief structure, providing maximum laughter with minimal words.

May these hippo one-liners plunge you into a river of giggles:

I told my wife I wanted to take her on a romantic date to see the hippos at the zoo, but she said, “I’ve seen enough hippos, I married you!”
Why did the hippo go to school? To get a higher degree in water ballet!
Why did the hippo refuse to play cards? It was afraid of becoming a “hippo-crip-toh!”
What did one hippo say to the other hippo while playing hide-and-seek? “Hippo, where are you? I can’t find you because you’re too big!”
Why are hippos so bad at playing hide-and-seek? Because they’re always spotted!
I asked the hippo if it wanted to play hide-and-seek, and it said, “No thanks, I’m already outstanding in my field!”
Why did the hippo get a ticket at the zoo? He was caught going over the “hippo” speed limit!
Why did the hippo bring an umbrella to the beach? Just in case it got “hippo-tized” by the sun!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo during a fight? “Let’s call it a hippo-crisis!”
Why did the hippo get a job as a taxi driver? Because it wanted to earn some “hippo-tips”!
What did the hippo say to the lion? “You may be the king of the jungle, but I’m the master of the water!”
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to be a part of the “high-hippo” crowd!
Why don’t hippos use smartphones? Because they already have “river-bile”!
What do you call a hippo that can’t swim? A “hippo-potamiss”!
What did one hippo say to the other hippo at the gym? “I hope you’re ready for some heavy hippo-pressing!”
Why are hippos always cool? Because they have their own “hippo-nair” conditioning!
Why did the hippo take a nap? It wanted to catch up on some “hipp-no”tizing sleep!
I tried to join a hippo appreciation club, but they said I couldn’t because I was too hippo-critical.
Why was the hippo always late for work? It was stuck in a “hippo-traffic” jam!
Why did the hippo go to school? Because he wanted to be a “honor-roll-a”!
What do hippos say when they introduce themselves? “Hippo-potamoose to meet you!”
What did the baby hippo say to its mother? “I’m not little, I’m “hippo-tizingly” cute!”
Why did the hippo bring an umbrella to the party? Because it heard there would be a “downpour” of fun!
Why did the hippo go to the hospital? It had a case of “I’m so tired I can’t even!” syndrome.
Why don’t hippos use cell phones? Because they can’t find a network in the jungle!
Why do hippos always know how much they weigh? Because they have an excellent hippo-thesis!
What do you get when you cross a hippo with a cow? An animal that’s in “moo-d” for a swim!
Why did the hippo go to school? To get a higher education, of course!
What did the baby hippo say to its mother? “I love you, hippo-potamuch!”
Why did the hippo always carry a map? It didn’t want to get lost in the jungle-gym!
Why did the hippo start a business? Because he wanted to make a ton of hippo-tunities!
Why did the hippo go to the therapist? It had too many “hipp-issues” to deal with!
Why did the hippo bring a chair to the party? Because he wanted to sit wherever he wanted!
What do you call a hippo that can perform magic tricks? A “hippo-notist”!
Why did the hippo bring a pencil to the restaurant? Because it wanted to “draw-attention” to itself!
Why don’t hippos use computers? Because they are scared of the mouse!
Why did the hippo join the circus? He wanted to become a “hippo-tist”!
Why did the hippo start a band? Because it wanted to play “hip-hop” music!
Why are hippos so good at math? Because they always know how to “sum” things up!
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of clothing? Hipp-hoodies!
Why did the hippo go to the bank? Because he wanted to check his “river” balance!
What did the hippo say to its friend? “I’m feeling hip-notized by your charm!”
Why did the hippo refuse to go on a diet? Because it believed in “hippo-self love”!
Why did the hippo eat the clock? Because it was time for a snack!
Why did the hippo wear a hat? Because it was having a bad hair day!
Why don’t hippos like to play cards? Because they are afraid of cheetahs!
What did the hippo say when it got a bad grade? “Oh, well. I guess it’s just water under the bridge!”
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the zoo? Because it wanted to see the “high-potamus” exhibit!
Why did the hippo win the singing competition? Because it had a hippo-tizing voice!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the gym? I hope you’re ready to pump some iron, because it’s going to be a hippo workout!
Why do hippos always win at hide and seek? Because they’re outstanding in their field!
What do you call a hippo with a great sense of humor? A hilaripotamus!
I went to see a stand-up comedy show hosted by a hippo, but it was a bit of a flop because all the jokes were watered down.
What did the vegetarian hippo say to the other hippo? Lettuce be friends, not food!
What do you call a hippo with a big vocabulary? A hippopota-thesaurus!
Why did the hippo go to the dentist? To get his toothbrush replaced with a hippo-brush!
What did the hippo say when it stubbed its toe? “I guess I’m just too hippo-sensitive!”
What do you call a hippo that’s a magician? A “hippo-hocus-pocus”!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the party? Because it was ready for a “hippo-hop”!
I heard the hippos at the zoo love to tell jokes, but they’re always the same ones – they just keep repeating their hippo-rituals!
What do you call a hippo that wears a crown? A King-hippo!
Why did the hippo go to the therapist? It had a lot of “weighty” emotional baggage!
How do you know if there’s a hippo in your fridge? The door won’t close and there are “jaws” everywhere!
Why don’t hippos use cell phones? Because they already have “herd” communication!
I asked the hippo if it wanted to go to the ballet, and it said, “No way, I’m not a tutu kind of animal.”>
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the party? Because it wanted to pack up and go for a hippo-liday!
Why did the hippo wear a bowtie? Because it wanted to look “hip” for its date!
What did the hippo say when it bumped into a wall? “I’m really sorry, I didn’t see that coming!”
What’s a hippo’s favorite game? Hippo-pongo!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the gym? “I heard we’re doing heavy lifting today!”
Why did the hippo bring an umbrella to the restaurant? In case of a soup shower!
What do you call a hippo with a great singing voice? An “opera-phant”!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the gym? “You are really heavy! I’m not lion!”
I asked my friend if he wanted to see a hippo race, but he said it would be too hard to fit them all in the bathtub!
Why did the hippo bring sunscreen to the beach? Because it didn’t want to turn into a roasty-toasty hippo pop!
What did the hippo say to his girlfriend? I hippo you have a great day!
What did the hippo say when it stepped on a pebble? “That’s just a little hip-stone!”
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the zoo? In case it wanted to go for a hippo-er walk!
What did the hippo say to the lion? Nothing, it just gave him a “hippo-critical” glare!
Why don’t hippos use cell phones? Because they already have a lot of “hippo” connections!
Why did the hippo enroll in a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to make a mean “hippo-tato” salad!
What did the hippo say when it stepped on a grape? “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself!”

Hippo Dad Jokes

Hippo dad jokes are the epitome of hefty humor, bound to make you chuckle and roll your eyes simultaneously.

They’re the type of jokes that are so ridiculously silly, they’re absolutely hilarious.

These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood at family events, entertaining kids, or just to add a dash of humor to your day.

Prepare yourself for the belly laughs and eye rolls.

Here are some hippo dad jokes that are guaranteed to bring on the fun:

What did the hippo say when it bumped into a tree? “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to be so hippo-clumsy!”
Why did the hippo take ballet lessons? He wanted to become a “hippo-nutcracker”!
Why don’t hippos ever argue? Because they know how to keep their “hippo-critical” views to themselves!
Why did the hippo always bring a pencil to the zoo? In case he had to draw a hippo-sis!
Why do hippos never argue? Because they always see both sides of the hippo-thetical.
How do you know if a hippo is getting ready to attack? It’s easy, they always give you a huge “hippo-thalamus”!
Why don’t hippos make good detectives? Because they always have a hippo-thetic look on their face!
What did the mama hippo say to her misbehaving baby hippo? “You’re really pushing my hippo-tions!”
What did one hippo say to the other at the end of a long day? Let’s hippo to bed now.
Why do hippos make terrible thieves? Because they’re always caught red-handed in the mud!
Why don’t hippos use cell phones? Because they already have a ton of apps on their bodies!
How do you make a hippopotamus float? Take some root beer and add one big scoop of hippo-ness!
What do you call a hippo with a tie? A very stylish river horse!
Why did the hippo go on a diet? It wanted to look good in its hippo-potamus costume!
What did the mommy hippo say to her baby? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
What did the baby hippo say when its mother told it to hurry up? “I’m coming, I’m not lion!”
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the zoo? To climb over the fence and say hello to the giraffes!
Why don’t hippos like fast food? Because they can’t catch it! They’re too slow!
What do you get when you cross a hippo and a rhino? An animal that can charge and swim at the same time!
What did the hippo say when he caught a glimpse of his reflection? “Wow, that’s one hippo-tastic creature right there!”
Why was the hippo sitting on the clock? It wanted to be a hippo-tockamus!
What did the hippo say to his friend at the party? “I’m having a hippo-tastic time!”
Why don’t hippos ever argue? Because they just want to have a hippo time!
Why did the hippo always bring a tissue to parties? Because he was a little hippo-critical!
What did the baby hippo say to its mom? I’m hippo-tized by your love!
What did the hippo say when his friend called him fat? “I prefer to think of myself as hippo-solutely fabulous!”
What do you get if you cross a hippo with a zebra? A herd of mono-striped hippos.
Why did the hippo wear a tuxedo to the party? Because it wanted to look sharp-o!
Why did the hippo get a ticket? Because it was caught speeding in the hippo-lane!
Why did the hippo cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
What did the mama hippo say when her child was misbehaving? “You’re hippo-sterous!”
What did the hippo say when it bumped into a wall? “I’m not afraid to charge into things!”
Why don’t hippos like to make phone calls? Because they always get stuck on the elephant.
Why don’t hippos ever use computers? Because they’re afraid of the mouse!
Why did the hippo start a band? Because he was tired of being a lone hippo-naut!
Why do hippos always win at games? Because they always have the best moves!
Why did the hippo always carry a clock? Because he didn’t want to be tardy!
How does a hippo ask for a raise? With a lot of hippo-thesis!
What did the hippo say when he graduated from college? Hippo-ray!
Why do hippos always have good grades in school? Because they never miss a class, especially when it’s time for lunch!
What did the hippo say when it saw its reflection? “Wow, that’s one big hippopatomirror!”
Why did the hippo refuse to go on a diet? Because he didn’t want to feel like he was being fat-shamed!
What did the mama hippo say to her misbehaving child? “You’re in deep hippo-trouble now!”
What did the hippo say when his friend asked if he wanted to go for a swim? “I’m already in hippo-deep!”
How do you know if a hippo has been to your house? You’ll find footprints in your peanut butter!
What did one hippo say to the other when it was time to leave? “Let’s hippo-go!”
Why did the hippo start a successful business? Because it knew how to make a lot of hippo-profits!
Why did the hippo go to the hospital? Because he had a bad case of the hippo-ndriacs.
Why don’t hippos do well in school? Because they’re always a little hippo-critical!
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the swimming pool? He wanted to dive into the “deep end”!
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the highest level of snacking!
Why don’t hippos ever argue? Because they always try to see things from a hippo-sitive perspective!
Why don’t hippos ever make good spies? Because they’re always spotted!
What’s a hippo’s favorite candy? Hippo-potamint!
Why did the hippo always carry a pencil behind its ear? In case it had to draw blood!
How do you know if a hippo has been in your fridge? By the footprints in the Jello!
Why did the hippo join the gym? He wanted to get in hippo-shape!
What do you call a hippo with a musical instrument? A hippo-potamus.
Why do hippos always win arguments? Because they always bring the most convincing hippo-thetical evidence!
Why did the hippo start a rock band? Because it had a killer set of chompers!
What did the mommy hippo say to her baby hippo? Do you hyppo-tize me?
Why did the hippo go to school? To improve its hippo-thetical skills!
Why don’t hippos like to share their food? Because they’re very possessive.
What did the hippo say to the other animal at the zoo? “I’m really hippo to see you!”
Why are hippos so good at basketball? Because they always know how to make a slam-dunk!
Why did the hippo take a nap in the water? Because it wanted to have a hippo-critical rest!
Why do hippos make great detectives? Because they always nose the truth!
Why are hippos always so calm? Because they have a lot of hippo-tension.
What did the hippo say when his friend asked him for a ride? “Sure, just hop on my hippoback!”
What did the hippo say when he bumped into his friend? “Oops, my bad, I didn’t mean to ‘hippo-size’ you!”
Why don’t hippos ever get into trouble? Because they always know how to play it cool!
Why did the hippos go to the spa? They wanted to feel hippo-notized.
What do you get when you cross a hippo and a rhino? An I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to be there when it happens!
Why did the hippo start a band? Because he had a lot of “hippo-tential”!
What did the hippo wear to the wedding? A hippopotamustache!
What did one hippo say to the other when they were about to fight? “I’m gonna hit you so hard, you’ll be in de-Nile”
What did the hippo say to its friend who was feeling down? “Don’t worry, be hippo!”

Hippo Jokes for Kids

Hippo jokes for kids are the jumbo jesters of the humor safari—big, playful, and always a delight to the little ones.

These jokes nudge children to engage with language in a fun way, creating an atmosphere of giggles while instilling the joy of puns and wordplay, much like the playful nature of hippos themselves.

Moreover, hippo jokes for kids bring an element of education about these fascinating creatures, transforming the knowledge about these large mammals into a source of laughter.

Ready for a large dose of fun?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them roaring with laughter just like a happy, bellowing hippo:

Why don’t hippos like to share their food? Because they’re always a little bit hippo-critical!
Why did the hippo bring a book to the pool? Because it wanted to dive into a good story!
What did the hippo say when it bumped into a tree? “I’m falling, help! I’m having a hip-poo-tamus moment!”
What did the hippo say when it lost its toy? “I’ve got to hippo-ver and find it!”
What’s a hippo’s favorite bedtime story? The hippo-potam-usual!
Why are hippos so good at basketball? Because they’re always making great “hoop”-shots!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the dance party? “I love your hippo-hop moves!”
What did the hippo say when it bumped into a tree? “I didn’t do it on purpose, I’m just a little hippo-critical!”
What did the hippo say to the bird flying overhead? “Hey, up there! Mind if I hippo-borrow your wings?”
How did the hippo get away from the zoo? He used an “es-hippo” ladder!
Why don’t hippos ever get lonely? Because they always have a ton of friends in their herd!
Why don’t hippos like to eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the zoo? It wanted to pack its “hippo”-clothes for a vacation!
What do you call a hippo that’s not all right? A hippo-crite!
What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Why do hippos always win at hide-and-seek? Because they’re really good at “hippo-nosis”!
What do you get when you cross a hippo and a rhino? A really big mouthful!
What did the hippo say when it stepped on an ant? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” (ant: “I didn’t mean to bother you!”).
Why don’t hippos play cards in the wild? Because they’re always up to some hippo-critical behavior!
How do you know if a hippo is feeling happy? It does a hippo dance!
What did the hippo say to the lion at the talent show? “You’re “roar”-some, but I’m “hippo”-tastic!”
What did the hippo say to its friend? “I’m feeling hippo-tastic today!”
What did the hippo say to the other animal at the party? “I’m really tired, can I crash on your couch?”
What did one hippo say to the other when they bumped into each other? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hippo-ver you!”
What did the hippo say to the lion at the end of the meal? “Pleased to eat you!” (instead of “Pleased to meet you!”).
Why did the hippo go to school? Because it wanted to become a smarty-potamus!
How do you know if a hippo is playing hide-and-seek with you? You can hear the “hippo-potamuses” giggling!
Why are hippos such good comedians? Because they always know how to crack you up with their big smiles!
Why do hippos never argue? Because they’re always “hippo-tized” by each other!
How do hippos say hello to each other? They just wave their big, friendly noses!
Why did the hippo go to the doctor? Because it had a big tummy-ache from eating too many watermelons!
What do you get when you cross a hippo with a cat? A great big meow-sive creature!
How do hippos get around in the water? They use hippo-propellers!
Why did the hippo go to the theater? Because it wanted to see a hippo-drama!
What do hippos like to do on hot summer days? They love to go hippo-sliding into the water!
Why was the hippo so good at playing hide-and-seek? Because it was excellent at hippo-ntization!
What do you call a hippo in a telephone booth? Stuck!
Why don’t hippos ever get lonely? Because they always have plenty of “chums” in the water!
Why did the hippo always carry a book? Because it wanted to be a “hippo-thecary” when it grew up!
What did the hippo say when it bumped into the elephant? “Sorry, my fault. I didn’t see you. I need to get my hippo-eyes checked!”
Why do hippos make terrible dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Why did the hippo get a job at the bakery? Because it kneaded some dough!
How do you know if a hippo is happy? It has a big hippo-grin on its face!
What do you get when you cross a hippo with a cow? A milkshake that brings all the hippos to the yard!
How do you make a hippo float? Take some ice cream and a hippo and put them in a blender!
What do you call a hippo that can play musical instruments? A hippo-discord!
What do you call a hippo with a bad temper? A “hippo-crite”!
Why did the hippo always bring a dictionary to the zoo? Because it loved looking up the meaning of hip-potamus words!
How do you know if a hippo is having a bad day? It’s a little hippo-critical!
What do you call a hippo that can’t stop eating? A bottomless “hungry-potamus”!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the pool? It was planning to take a hippo-vacation!
What do you call a hippo that’s on a diet? A hippo-thinner!
What did the hippo say when someone said it was too big? “Hippo-critical much?”
Why did the hippo go to the hospital? Because it was feeling a little under the weather!
What did the mama hippo say to her naughty child? “Behave or I’ll send you to the river to wash your mouth out!”
Why are hippos such good secret keepers? Because they always keep their lips “hippo-tight”!
What do you get when you cross a hippo with a kangaroo? A big hole in the ground!
What do you call a hippo with a headache? A hippo-pot-a-migraine!
How do you make a hippopotamus float? You take two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a hippo!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because he wanted to pack his “trunks”!
What do you call a hippo that can’t stop telling jokes? A stand-up-potamus!
What do you call a hippo that’s good at baseball? A hippo hitter!
What did the hippo say when it sat on an orange? “Squash!” .
Why did the hippo wear a raincoat? Because she wanted to be a “hippo-naut”!
Why don’t hippos ever argue? Because they can’t help but see “eye to eye”!
What’s a hippo’s favorite subject in school? Hippo-tory!
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the bar? Because the bartender said the drinks were on the house!
What did the hippo say when he bumped into a tree? “I’m falling for you”!
Why do hippos always win at card games? Because they’re experts at playing the hippo-trick!
What do you call a hippo that’s a fantastic dancer? A “hip”-hop dancer!
Why did the hippo wear a turtleneck sweater? Because it wanted to hide its hippo-sized hickeys!
Why did the hippo go to school? To become a “hippocologist” and study other hippos!
What do you call a hippo that loves to travel? A globe-trotter!
How do hippos greet each other? With a big hippo handshake!
Why did the hippo bring a stopwatch to the race? Because it wanted to “hip-and-hop” to the finish line!
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? “Hip-hop”, of course!
Why did the hippo go to school? To get a little more “hip”-pocritical education!
Why do hippos make terrible chefs? Because they can never find the right ingredients—they keep misplacing their seasoning!

Hippo Jokes for Adults

Who claims adults can’t indulge in some hilarious hippo humor?

Hippo jokes for adults elevate the humor level, combining clever wit with a dash of audacity.

Just like the hippo’s hefty yet endearing appeal, these jokes blend elements of humor, smarts, and a sprinkle of naughtiness for an unforgettable chuckle.

These jokes are ideal for cocktail parties, late-night gatherings, or simply to ease the mood during an intense discussion amongst friends.

Here are some hippo jokes that are absolutely spot-on for adults:

Why don’t hippos play cards? Because they’re always sitting on the deck!
Why did the hippo eat the comedian? It wanted a taste of “hippo-slapstick” humor!
What did the hippo say to his friend at the gym? “I’m just here for the hippo-therapy!”
Why don’t hippos make good chefs? They’re always too busy playing with their food!
What’s a hippo’s favorite TV show? The Big Bang Theory!
Why don’t hippos use computers? They can’t find a mouse that’s big enough!
What did the hippo say when it fell in love? I’m totally head over hooves!
Why do hippos never argue? They know how to resolve their “hippo-critical” differences!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the party? Let’s make this a “hippo” occasion!
What do you call a hippo with a machine gun? Sir Hippopotamus Rambo III!
What did the hippo say to the lion? “You’re the mane attraction around here!”
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the gym? “I hope you’re having a hippo day!”
Why was the hippo always so calm? Because it knew how to go with the flow!
Why did the hippo always carry a suitcase? It was afraid of running out of trunk space!
What did the hippo say to the lion at the party? “You’re a real party animal, but I’m a party hippo!”
What did the hippo say to his son when he left for school? “Hippo be good!”
Why did the hippo bring sunscreen to the beach? It didn’t want to get sunburnt like a flamingo!
What did the hippo say when it stubbed its toe? “That’s gonna leave a big hippo-print!”
What did the hippo say to the other hippo who stole its food? “You’re just a big fat phony!”
What do you get when you cross a hippo and a vampire? A “hippopotam-pire” that sucks the fun out of everything!
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the drinks were on the “hippo” shelf!
Why don’t hippos use computers? They always get stuck on the mouse!
Why did the hippo go to the bank? It wanted to check out its river bank account!
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the zoo? Because it wanted to reach the top shelf in the gift shop!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the party? It wanted to make a “hippo-fashion” statement!
What do you call a hippo with no manners? A very impoliteopotamus!
Why are hippos so bad at sharing? They’re always hogging everything for themselves!
Why do hippos make bad employees? They’re always getting swamped with work!
What do you call a hippo that’s not important? Irrelephant!
Why did the hippo always carry an umbrella? Because it heard it was a “rain”forest!
Why don’t hippos make good musicians? They always have trouble finding a “hippo-tone!”
Why did the hippo take ballet lessons? It wanted to improve its “hip”posé!
What do you call a hippo that can sing and dance? A hippopotamus!
Why did the hippo always win at poker? Because it had the best poker face – a big yawn!
What did the hippo say when its friend told a joke? That’s irrelephant!
Why did the hippo start a baking business? It wanted to make “hip-po-tarts”!
Why was the hippo a terrible comedian? Because its jokes were too “hippo”critical!
What do you call a hippo that wears a crown? The “king of the jungle gym”!
Why did the hippo refuse to share its food? It was a little bit selfi-sh!
Why did the hippo visit the dentist? It had a cavity in its “hippo”tamus!
What did the hippo say to the cheetah at the party? I’ve got the moves like Jagger!
Why did the hippo invite its friends over for a pool party? It wanted to make a splash!
Why don’t hippos like to argue? They don’t want any hippo-crisy!
Why did the hippo go to the therapist? It had a problem with emotional weight!
What did the hippo say to the bird? “Can you please stop tweeting? You’re giving me a headache!”
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the punchline was going to be “hippo-ly funny!”
What did the hippo say to its friend who was feeling down? “Chin up, I hope you’re not feeling too “hippo”critical!”
Why are hippos great comedians? Because they always have a lot of “hip” material!
Why don’t hippos use cell phones? They already have too many apps!
What do you get when you cross a hippo with a giraffe? A long-necked hippo that’s too big for its own good!
Why did the hippo get kicked out of the zoo? It was caught on camera trying to eat the visitors’ popcorn!
Why did the hippo break up with its girlfriend? She kept making snide hippo-critical comments!
Why don’t hippos like playing cards? They’re afraid of ending up in a hippo-nose!
What do you call a group of dancing hippos? A “hip-hop” dance troupe!
Why are hippos so good at listening? Because they always try to get to the heart of the matter!
Why don’t hippos like playing cards? They always end up sitting on the deck!
Why don’t hippos ever get into politics? They believe in a “no bull” campaign!
Why do hippos always know what’s going on? Because they have the “hippo”thesis!
Why did the hippo become a comedian? It wanted to “hippo-tize” the audience with laughter!
Why did the hippo refuse to apologize? It had too much “hippo”-crisy!
How do you know if a hippo is in the room? You can’t, they’re great at “hippo-nosis!”
What do you call a hippo that can solve complex math problems? An algeb-hippo!
What did the hippo say when it stepped on a grape? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why don’t hippos use computers? They have really big mouths but no fingers!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the zoo? It was planning to go on a “hippo-tropical” vacation!
What did one hippo say to the other when they saw a human? “Let’s hide! They might try to take our picture!”
What did the hippo say when its friend asked about its new diet? I’m on a strict plant-based ‘hippo-tarian’ regime!
How do you know if a hippo is having a bad day? It has a really fowl mood!
How does a hippo say hello? Hippo-tize!
Why did the hippo bring sunscreen to the zoo? It didn’t want to become a “hippo-critical”!
What did the hippo say to the other hippo at the buffet? “I’m hungry, but I don’t want to make a pig out of myself!”
Why did the hippo become a stand-up comedian? Because it was tired of being such a big joke itself!
Why don’t hippos make good comedians? Because their jokes are always a bit too hippo-critical!
What did the hippo say when it lost its dinner? “I guess it’s just water under the “hippo-bridge!”
Why did the hippo go on a diet? It wanted to shed some pounds and become a hippo-thin-otamus!
What did one hippo say to the other at the zoo? “I’m feeling a little ‘hip’ today!”
Why did the hippo get kicked out of the theater? It couldn’t keep its big mouth shut during the movie!
Why did the hippo start a stand-up comedy career? It wanted to be a “hippo-crite”!
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the bar? It wanted to have a “high ball” drink!
How do you know if a hippo is lying? Its pants are on fire!
Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the zoo? To visit its high-brow friend, the giraffe!
What did the hippo say when it bumped into a wall? “I’m just looking for a new hideout!”
Why don’t hippos ever get lonely? They’re always hanging out in their own herd!
What do you call a hippo who’s a great singer? A “hippopera” star!
What did one hippo say to the other hippo during a race? I’m hoofing it!
Why did the hippo bring a suitcase to the restaurant? It heard there was going to be a lot of food-toting!

Hippo Joke Generator

Creating the ultimate hippo joke can sometimes be as heavy as the animal itself.

(See the humor there?)

That’s where our FREE Hippo Joke Generator comes to your rescue.

Engineered to merge witty puns, hefty humor, and amusing expressions, it produces jokes that are sure to induce giggles.

Don’t let your humor become as stagnant as a lazy river.

Use our joke generator to fabricate jokes that are as lively and buoyant as your favorite hippos.

FAQs About Hippo Jokes

Why are hippo jokes so popular?

Hippo jokes are popular because they play off the unique characteristics of this large, semi-aquatic mammal.

Their size, diet, and aquatic lifestyle provide great material for humor, making them widely appealing and fun to share with others.

Can hippo jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

A well-timed hippo joke can lighten the atmosphere and bring laughter to a conversation.

Whether you’re at a zoo, discussing animals, or just want to bring a splash of humor, hippo jokes can be your go-to gag.

How can I come up with my own hippo jokes?

Get to know hippos – their size, their love for water, their diet, and other fascinating facts about this unique creature.
Think of words associated with hippos (e.g., large, water, mud). Look for pun opportunities or play on words related to these.
Consider the setting of your joke. Is it at a zoo? In the wild? Or perhaps a hippo having an adventure in the city?
Take a famous quote or phrase and give it a ‘hippo’ twist.
Don’t shy away from puns and wordplay. Hippo jokes are a great platform for this kind of humor!

Are there any tips for remembering hippo jokes?

Try to associate hippo jokes with situations or places where you might see or discuss hippos such as visiting a zoo, studying for a biology test, or watching a documentary.

Linking the jokes to these contexts can make them easier to remember.