490 Hockey Jokes That'll Make You a Power Play at Parties

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to skate into the world of hockey jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the all-stars of the ice.

That’s why we’ve frozen together a list of the most hilarious hockey jokes.

From puck-tastic puns to slapshot one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every period of the game.

So, let’s dive into the icy rink of hockey humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Hockey Jokes

Hockey jokes are a slapshot straight to your funny bone.

They are not just about the game itself, but also about the vibrant culture surrounding it.

From the thrill of a last-minute goal to the hilarity of a goalie’s oversized pads, hockey offers a wealth of comedic material.

Creating the perfect hockey joke involves a good dose of wit, a play on words, and a touch of understanding about the sport’s unique characteristics (like the puck’s unpredictability or the players’ toothless grins).

Are you ready to break the ice?

Slide into laughter with these humorous hockey jokes:

Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? Because their slapshots never hit the punchline!
Why did the hockey player always carry a pencil to the game? He wanted to draw some “high-sticking” penalties!
Why don’t hockey players like going to seafood restaurants? They always end up getting too many “hooks” and “lines”!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t play guitar? A stick-handler!
Why do hockey players always bring a ladder to the game? In case they want to score some high goals!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m coming for you, net time!”
Why did the hockey player get a job at the bakery? He kneaded the dough!
Why don’t hockey players ever eat before a game? They don’t want to be icing on the cake!
What did the hockey goalie say to the net? “I’ve got you covered!”
Why did the hockey goalie never trust the ice? Because it was always two pads!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t swim? A sinking defenseman!
Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are always full of slapstick humor!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It felt trapped and needed to break the ice!
Why don’t hockey players like playing cards? Because they always end up in the penalty box for holding.
Why did the hockey goalie always win the game? Because he was outstanding in his crease!
Why did the hockey puck go to school? To get smarter and become a slapshot!
Why do hockey players make great astronauts? They’re experts at shooting for the stars!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalpost? “I’m always bouncing off you, you never let me score!”
Why don’t hockey players like making online purchases? Because they always get checked out!
Why don’t hockey players like puns? Because they always go straight over their heads!
What do you call a hockey player who doesn’t take a shower? A stinkin’ goalie!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his goalie pads for a good check-up!
Why did the hockey player go to school? To improve his slapstick comedy skills!
Why do hockey players always bring a whistle on the ice? In case they need to break up a “chord” line!
Why don’t hockey players like playing cards? Because they always get called for holding!
Why did the hockey player bring a knife to the game? Because there might be a face-off!
Why did the hockey goalie sit on the clock? He wanted to be a time-saver.
What do you call a penguin in a hockey jersey? The coolest player on the ice!
Why don’t hockey players like puns? Because they always go for the slapstick.
What do you call a hockey player that breaks all the records? A lawbreaker on the ice!
What do you call a goalie who can sing? A puck-ist!
Why are hockey rinks so cold? Because there are a lot of fans!
What did one hockey stick say to the other? “I’ve got your back!”
Why do hockey players never trust the goalie? Because they always have a few questionable saves!
Why did the hockey player always carry a pencil and paper on the ice? In case he wanted to draw a penalty!
What do you call a hockey player that can’t break an egg? A goalie!
Why do hockey players never trust trees? Because they always leave them “puckered” up!
Why don’t hockey players go to jail? Because they always break out of the ice!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because they love angles!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “You’re a great save-ior!”
Why was the hockey player a terrible comedian? Because all his jokes were ice-breakers!
Why do hockey players never win on dating apps? Because they always get caught in the penalty box!
What’s the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match? In a hockey game, the fights are on ice!
Why do hockey players never get lost? Because they know all the shortcuts on ice!
Why did the hockey puck go to the party? Because it heard it was going to get iced!
What do you call a hockey player that never takes a shower? A stinkin’ goalie!
Why do hockey players never invest in the stock market? Because they always end up losing their shirts!
Why don’t hockey players like smart jokes? Because they always get lost in the ice!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite drink? Slap-puccino!
Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game? To draw up some plans for a slapshot!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you save, I’ll bounce off you!”
Why was the hockey arena so full of excitement? Because it was packed with goal-oriented players!
Why did the hockey player always carry an extra pair of pants? In case he got caught in a face-off!
Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the ice was cold and wanted to skate a little higher!
Why do hockey players never trust the net? Because it always makes empty promises!
Why don’t hockey players ever play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
What do you call a hockey player that can play the piano? A center forward!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of movie? Slapstick comedy!
Why do hockey players make bad criminals? Because they always get caught icing the competition!
Why don’t hockey players ever win arguments? They always get put in the penalty box for high-sticking!
Why don’t hockey players like baking? Because they can’t beat the eggs and the batter!
Why do hockey players never become DJs? Because they always miss the drop!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of vegetable? A goalie-flower!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It had a lot of unresolved slapshot issues.
Why don’t hockey players ever dance? Because they always break the ice.
What do you call a hockey player with no arms and no legs? Trustworthy, because they can’t high-stick!
What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a rodeo clown? A slapstick sensation!
Why don’t hockey players ever win at hide-and-seek? Because they always get caught in the penalty box!
Why do hockey players always bring a ladder to the game? Because they want to reach the high-sticking level!
Why do hockey players never work at bakeries? Because they can never make icing!
What do you call a penguin that loves hockey? A slapshot-penguin!
Why do hockey players make terrible detectives? Because they always follow the ice suspects!
Why did the hockey player bring an extra pair of pants to the game? In case he got a hat trick and had to take his pants off!
Why do hockey players never go on vacation? Because they always get ice-olated!
Why do hockey players make great teachers? Because they know how to break up fights and give penalties!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of arithmetic? Playoff brackets!
Why did the hockey player go to jail? Because he was caught icing the competition!
What does a hockey player say to his skates? “I’m falling for you!”
Why do hockey players never get sunburned? Because they always wear a lot of shade on the ice!
What did the hockey puck say to the stick? “Don’t worry, I’m just passing through!”
Why did the hockey puck go to the fancy party? Because it heard it was going to be surrounded by high-class shots!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite dessert? Ice cream, of course!
Why did the hockey goalie bring a pillow to the game? In case he needed to take a nap during the shootout!
Why don’t hockey players like making dessert? Because they always get whisked away by the goalie!
Why did the hockey team hire an astronaut? Because they needed someone who could shoot for the stars!
Why was the math book always terrible at hockey? It couldn’t stop counting goals!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of cell phone? An ice-Phone!

Short Hockey Jokes

Short hockey jokes are like the perfect slapshot—sharp, precise, and sure to score a laugh.

These jokes are perfect for locker room banter, game night one-liners, or to lighten up the tension during a nail-biting match.

The charm of short hockey jokes lies in their ability to deliver a quick quip with a puckish twist, making everyone break into laughter in an instant.

So, gear up and put your game face on!

Here are some short hockey jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone in just a blink of an eye.

What do hockey players drink before a game? Ice-bergers!
What do hockey players say when they score? “Ice job!”
Why did the hockey player always carry a pencil?
To reach the high-sticking penalties!
What do you call a penguin playing hockey? A stick-handling bird!
Why don’t hockey players like making pancakes?
What’s a goalie’s favorite type of cookie? Block-chocolate chip!
Why don’t hockey players like math? Because it involves too many “face-offs”!
What do you call a duck that loves hockey? A puck-quacking enthusiast!
It had issues with going in the net!
Why do hockey players never trust the ice? It’s full of cracks!
Because they always get caught icing!
Why do hockey players like driving fast? Because they love high-sticking!
A penalty box!
Because it felt rejected by the net!
Slapshot-ometry!
In case he got caught in a fight!
What do hockey players eat on Thanksgiving? Puck-kin pie!
Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? Their timing is always offside!
Why do hockey players make great comedians? They always deliver “puck”-lines!
In case they get a hat-trick!
Lost!
I’m tired of being hit on!
Because they always follow the puck!
Why do hockey players always bring a broom to games?
What’s a hockey player’s favorite dessert? Stick-o-late cake!
Stinking power play!
Because they always want to sweep the competition!
Because he wanted to tie the score!
In case he needed to draw a penalty!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of insurance? Goalie-ability coverage!
To reach the high hat-tricks!
Why do hockey players make good detectives?
What do you call a vampire who plays hockey? A ghoulie goalie!
Why did the hockey player bring an extra pair of gloves?
Why do hockey players always bring a spare pair of socks?
Lost on ice!
What do you call a sleeping hockey player? A puck-cabbage!
Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? Their jokes never land!
I’m always in a sticky situation!
Because he was caught high-sticking!
What did the hockey puck say to the stick? “I’m gonna shoot!”

Hockey Jokes One-Liners

Hockey jokes one-liners are the embodiment of humor condensed into a single, playful sentence.

They’re the linguistic equivalent of scoring a goal in one swift shot – exhilarating, precise, and undeniably slick.

Creating a great one-liner demands a fusion of originality, accuracy, and a profound love for the game of puns.

The task is to encapsulate set up and punchline in a streamlined form, delivering maximum amusement with minimum verbosity.

Here’s to hoping these hockey one-liners find you sliding into a rink of laughter:

Why was the hockey player a great musician? Because he had perfect slap-shot timing!
Why did the hockey player join a band? Because he heard they needed someone to play the slapshot!
Why did the hockey player become a chef? Because he knew how to handle the saucy plays!
Why don’t hockey players ever get lost? Because they always know which way is rink!
Why do hockey players never trust the ocean? Because they’re afraid of getting boarded.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
Why did the hockey player always wear two pairs of socks? Because he wanted to have a double hat-trick!
Why did the hockey player bring a whistle to the game? Because he wanted to make some noise and annoy the opponents!
Why do hockey players never sweat during a game? They have too many fans!
Why did the hockey player become a detective? He wanted to solve all the high-sticking mysteries.
Why do hockey players never listen to music during the game? Because they can’t find the right notes!
What do you call a hockey player who only plays with one hand? A singles champion!
Why did the hockey player bring a sponge to the game? To clean up the ice after he scored!
I tried playing hockey once, but I couldn’t find the ice cream truck.
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It had a complex about being constantly slapped around!
Why did the hockey player bring a dictionary to the game? He wanted to understand all the cross-checking definitions.
Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the players were skating on thin ice!
What do you call a hockey player who doesn’t shower? The stink-eye of the rink.
Why do hockey players never play cards in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why don’t hockey players like puns? Because they can’t handle the high-sticking jokes!
What did the hockey puck say to the net? “I find you very goal-oriented!”
Why did the hockey player bring a pig to the game? Because he wanted to play with a little more bacon!
I asked a hockey player if he had any spare change, and he replied, “Sorry, I only carry pucks!”
Why was the hockey game always so intense? Because it was played in a highly charged atmosphere!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t figure out the penalty box? Puck-etless!
Why did the hockey player bring a loaf of bread to the game? In case he got hungry for some net-toast!
Why do hockey players do well in school? Because they always give 110% on their ice tests!
What do you call a bear that plays hockey? A puck-chewing defenseman!
Why did the hockey team go to the bakery? They heard the cupcakes were outstanding!
What do hockey players wear on Halloween? Mask-erade costumes!
Why do hockey players always win at hide-and-seek? Because they know how to “stick” to the plan!
Why are hockey rinks so cool? Because they’re always full of fans!
What did the hockey player say to the goalie? “I’m really good at shooting slap-shots, but I’m also great at break-ups!”
What do you call a hockey player that breaks up with his girlfriend? A puck-er-upper!
Why did the hockey coach go to the bank? He wanted to get his players to score more checks!
Why did the hockey player become a chef? Because he always wanted to master the saucer pass!
Why did the hockey team hire a baker? Because they needed someone to put the icing on the cake!
Why did the hockey player bring a frying pan to the game? In case he wanted to make slapshots!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t hold a job? Unemployed-er!
Why did the hockey team hire an owl as a coach? Because he had great h-owl-keeping skills!
Why don’t hockey players like to share their snacks? Because they always want to keep the puck-er chips for themselves!
Why did the hockey puck go to school? To get its stick-torial degree!
Why did the hockey player become a musician? Because he wanted to score some “notes” on the ice!
Why don’t hockey players like to play cards? Because someone is always shouting, “Give me a high-stick!”
Why did the hockey player go to school? To get better at “ice-ology”!
Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game? Because he wanted to pack up all the goals he scored!
Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the competition was on a whole other level!
What did the hockey puck say when it hit the post? “I’m a rebound magnet!”
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? He wanted to score some checking accounts!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the hockey player become a musician? He wanted to rock the rink with his slapshot!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
What do you call a hockey player who can’t make any goals? A net profit!
Why did the hockey player always carry a mirror? So he could check his reflection in the Stanley Cup!
What do hockey players eat before a big game? Puck-eroni pizza!
Why don’t hockey players ever go broke? Because they always keep their change in the goalie’s pads!
Why do hockey players never trust the goalies? Because they tend to be a little “net”minded!
Why did the hockey player eat his stick? Because he heard it was a great way to get a little more fiber on the ice!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m just here to give you a little slapshot of reality!”
Why don’t hockey players ever go on strike? Because they’re always on thin ice!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? Because it had trouble finding its center!
Why did the hockey goalie become an artist? He wanted to stop all the shots and paint beautiful masterpieces!
Why don’t hockey players ever sit on the ice? Because they’d melt the “bench”marks!
What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a rock star? A slapstick guitarist!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It had low self-esteem and needed to be cheered up!
Why don’t hockey players ever go to space? Because they can’t find any “ice” in the galaxy!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It had a hard time letting go!
Why did the hockey player bring an umbrella to the game? In case it started pouring goals!
Why do hockey players never invest in real estate? Because they’re always getting checked!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? Because it felt net-gative about itself!
Why did the hockey player become a chef? Because he heard it was a great way to score a lot of dough!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t find his stick? Lost in the penalty box!
Why was the hockey arena so cold? Because all the fans left and the goalie was the only one left!
Why did the hockey player take a ladder onto the ice? Because he wanted to score higher goals!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why was the hockey goalie always so calm? Because he had a lot of pads-tience!
Why did the goalie bring a suitcase to the game? He was tired of all the net migration.
Why do hockey players do well in school? Because they have great stick-to-it-iveness!
Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game? Because he heard there would be a lot of ice time!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? Because it felt like it was always getting slapped around!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? Because it felt so low and depressed all the time!
What do you call a deer playing hockey? A puck-a-buck!
Why do hockey players never eat pears? Because they can’t resist the pucks!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.
Why did the hockey player always carry a ladder? So he could reach the high-sticking penalty box!
Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game? To draw a line on the ice and make it more “skate-able”!
I asked the hockey player if he had any good jokes, he said, “Yeah, I have a slapshot for you!”
Why did the hockey player always have a snack during the game? Because he wanted to “stick” to a balanced diet!
Why did the hockey goalie bring a sewing kit? Because he wanted to patch things up with his team!
What do you call a hockey player who only scores goals in his dreams? A snooze goal!
Why did the hockey player bring a net to the game? Because he heard the other team was all about scoring!
Why don’t hockey players like baking? Because they always get whisked away to the penalty box!
Why did the hockey player bring his dog to the game? He wanted to win by a pup-ular vote!
Why did the hockey goalie always carry an umbrella? Because he heard there would be a lot of saves!
What did the hockey stick say to the puck? “I’ve got your back, er, I mean, blade!”
Why do hockey players never trust the ice? Because it’s always trying to break the ice with them!
Why do hockey players never trust the ice? Because it’s always a slippery character!
Why was the hockey goalie always calm? Because he knew how to keep his cool!
What did the hockey player say when he lost his contact lens? “I can’t see the puck!”
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

Hockey Dad Jokes

Hockey dad jokes are the ideal fusion of wit and humor that can cause anyone to chuckle and groan simultaneously.

They’re the sort of jokes that are so poor, they’re actually brilliant.

These jokes are perfect for family gatherings, sports night chats, or even just to light up someone’s day.

Get ready for the audible sighs.

Here are some hockey dad jokes that are guaranteed to satisfy:

Why did the hockey player take a nap during the game? Because he wanted to catch up on his Zzz-scores!
What do you call a hockey player with a broken leg? A goalie!
Why did the hockey puck go to the library? Because it wanted to learn some cool moves from the bookworms!
Why did the hockey puck go to the library? It wanted to improve its “slapshot!”
Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? Because he wanted to find his way to the net!
Why did the hockey goalie always carry an umbrella? Because he wanted to stop the rain-checks!
Why don’t hockey players like puns? Because they always get a puck-er face.
What did the hockey stick say to the puck? “I’m all twined up in you!”
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? A gummy bear on ice.
Why did the hockey goalie become a baker? Because he always knew how to stop a turnover.
Why was the hockey puck so smart? Because it always knew how to break the ice!
Why don’t hockey players like playing hide-and-seek? Because good goalies are really hard to find!
What did one hockey stick say to the other stick? “I’m really jealous of your slapshot, it’s so hard-hitting!”
Why do hockey players always bring a map with them? In case they get lost in the neutral zone!
Why did the hockey team go to the bakery? Because they wanted to get some icing on the cake after a win!
Why don’t hockey players ever do well in school? Because they always miss the net!
Why do hockey players make good comedians? Because they always know how to break the ice with a joke!
Why don’t hockey teams trust trees? Because they always “leave” during the playoffs!
What do you call a deer that can play hockey? A “puck”-icorn!
Why did the hockey player bring a flashlight to the game? Because he wanted to shed some light on the competition.
Why did the scarecrow become a hockey player? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why are hockey rinks always so cold? Because all the fans keep chanting “Ice, ice, baby!”
Why do hockey players make terrible librarians? Because they always stick to the boards.
Why did the hockey player start a bakery? Because he wanted to make some dough.
What do you call a vegetable that plays hockey? A slaw stick!
Why was the hockey rink so noisy? Because of all the icing on the cake.
Why do hockey players never shave before a game? Because they don’t like to be pulled aside for face-offs.
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m tired of being slapped around, can I please have a little space?”
Why did the hockey player become an artist? Because he knew how to draw a crowd!
Why don’t hockey players ever go broke? Because they always have a few cents.
Why don’t hockey players like to share their snacks? Because they’re too puck-ish!
Why are hockey rinks so cool? Because all the fans are always ice-cold!
Why did the hockey player bring a plunger to the game? Because he wanted to clean up the competition!
Why was the math book sad at the hockey game? Because it had too many problems on its hands!
Why are hockey rinks so cool? Because they are always surrounded by fans!
Why was the hockey rink so cold? Because all the fans left and the ice-solation set in.
What did the hockey goalie say when he caught a cold? “I’m having a “save” day!”
Why did the hockey player bring a carrot to the game? In case he needed to improve his slap-shot!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? Because it felt a little flat on the ice!
What did the goalie say to the puck? “I’m not a big fan of your shots, but I’ll save them for later!”
Why do hockey players never trust trees? Because they take too many slash penalties!
Why was the hockey team so good at math? Because they knew how to break the ice!
Why was the hockey game always so noisy? Because the players always had a lot of pucks to say!
Why don’t hockey players ever win at hide and seek? Because they always get caught icing!
Why don’t hockey players ever work at the bakery? They can never beat the turnovers!
Why was the hockey rink so noisy? Because all the fans were being rowdy-cals!
Why do hockey players never trust trees? They’re always trying to leave the rink!
Why did the hockey puck go to the bank? It wanted to turn its cents into goals!
Why do hockey players like baking? Because they always bring the dough!
Why are hockey rinks so cold? Because all the fans keep waving their hands and saying, “Brrrrrrr!”
Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always go wide of the mark!
What do you call a hockey player that doesn’t take a shower? Stinky McStickerson!
Why don’t hockey players like to share their secrets? Because they always keep them on ice!
Why did the hockey puck go to the party alone? Because it didn’t want to get checked!
Why did the hockey team hire an artist? Because they needed someone to draw the defense.
Why do hockey players never win at hide-and-seek? Because they always get called for icing.
Why did the hockey puck go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little ice-olated!
Why was the hockey game so slippery? Because both teams had too many players on ice!
Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game? Because he heard it was a high-sticking affair!
Why don’t hockey players like to share their ice cream? Because they always want to “stick-handle” it themselves!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of jewelry? Penalty box.
What do you call a hockey player who can’t stop talking? A puck-et blabbermouth.
Why did the hockey puck go to the art gallery? It wanted to learn about “fine” art!
Why do hockey rinks never get cold? Because they’re always surrounded by fans!
Why was the hockey game so cold? Because all the fans were giving the players the cold shoulder!
Why do hockey players never do well in school? Because they always pass but never get high scores!
Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to reach the high sticking penalty box!
Why did the hockey team hire a pastry chef? Because they needed someone to “whip” the cream!
Why did the hockey player refuse to play cards with the team? Because he was afraid of getting a bad deal on a faceoff!
Why do hockey players always bring a pencil to the game? In case they need to draw a penalty.
Why don’t hockey players like baking? Because they can’t find the net!
What did one hockey stick say to the other? “I’m sorry, but I can’t handle your slapshots anymore, we need to stick together!”
Why did the hockey player sit on the clock during the game? Because he wanted to be in the right line for the faceoff!
Why don’t hockey players like baking? Because they always get a little panicky in the crease!
Why did the hockey player bring a pen and paper to the game? Because he wanted to “write” his own history!
Why don’t hockey players ever drink tea? Because the Canadiens always have too many Leafs!
Why did the hockey puck go to school? Because it wanted to get better at shooting!
Why did the hockey player become a musician? Because he had a slap shot at being a rock star.
What do you call a penguin with a hockey stick? Sidney Cros-beak!
Why was the hockey puck so bad at making friends? Because it was always cold and hard!
Why did the hockey puck go to school? Because it wanted to be a little smarter than a flat disk!
How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They always stay ice-cold!
Why do hockey players never get thirsty? Because they have lots of fans!
Why don’t hockey players ever tell jokes on the ice? Because the ice might crack up!
Why did the hockey player bring a bucket of water to the game? So he could wash the other team!

Hockey Jokes for Kids

Hockey jokes for kids are like the cool zephyrs of the joke world—refreshing, exciting, and always a winner with the younger audience.

These jokes allow kids to engage with language and discover the sheer fun of puns, fostering a passion for humor that’s as exhilarating as a fast-paced hockey game itself.

Moreover, hockey jokes for kids have the added perk of promoting sports interest, transforming that hockey stick and puck into a source of amusement.

Ready to score some laughter goals?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling on the bleachers:

Why do hockey players never shave? Because they always stay on the ice!
What do you get if you cross a hockey player and a vampire? A lot of cross-checking!
Why do hockey players like to play in cold arenas? Because they love chilling out!
Why was the hockey game so loud? Because the players could never find their keys and kept shouting, “Where’s the puck?”
What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a vampire? A cross-checker!
Why do hockey players love math? Because it involves lots of goals!
Why do hockey players like to eat on the ice? Because they can always skate past the lunch line!
Why did the hockey player bring an umbrella to the game? Because there was a high chance of “puck” showers!
Why did the hockey goalie always carry a pencil to the game? In case he needed to draw a line in the ice!
Why do hockey players never shave? Because they always keep their whiskers for good luck!
What did the hockey player say when he lost his jersey? “I’m really losing my shirt!”
Why did the hockey goalie go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to draw the line!
Why did the referee go to school? To brush up on his penalties!
What do hockey players wear when it’s raining? Thunder jerseys!
Why did the hockey puck always win the game? Because it was on a roll!
What do you call a penguin in a hockey game? A penalty box!
Why are hockey arenas so noisy? Because all the fans go “ICE SCREAM”!
Why did the hockey player go broke? Because he lost all his dough in the net!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t stop sneezing? An ice-choo player!
Why don’t hockey players like to go on vacation? They always end up in a face-off!
What did one hockey stick say to the other hockey stick? “I’m so wooden you couldn’t pUCK me up!”
Why do hockey players never do well in school? Because they always have too many goals to score!
What did the puck say to the hockey stick? “I’m glad I’m not on your side, you’re always hitting!” .
What do you call a bear playing hockey? A grizzly goalie!
What do you call a goalie who can juggle? A multi-save-talented player!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m going to make you break a save!”
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m glad I’m not a goalie, they always get the puck-end!”
Why did the tomato turn red during the hockey game? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do hockey players drink before games? Gator-aid!
What do you call a snowman playing hockey? Slushy the goal-tender!
Why did the goalie go to art school? Because he wanted to improve his stick figures!
What do you call a penguin who loves to play hockey? A slapshot Emperor!
Why did the hockey goalie go to art class? To learn how to draw saves!
Why did the hockey puck go to school? To become an ice-berg!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m board, let’s go for a slide!”
Why was the hockey stadium so cool? Because it was filled with fans!
What do hockey players wear when they go fishing? Ice skates!
Why did the hockey puck bring a flashlight to the game? Because it wanted to be a “bright” light!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m bored, let’s chill!”
Why did the hockey puck cross the road? To get to the other ice!
Why did the hockey player bring a bucket of water to the game? In case he got thirsty after all the ice-time!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m glad I’m not in your shoes, I would hate to be chased all the time!”
Why do hockey players never wear headphones? Because they like to stay in-tune with the game!
Why did the hockey puck go to the library? Because it wanted to become a well-read puck!
Why did the hockey puck go to school? To get a little better with its slapshot!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “You’re just trying to save face!”
Why was the hockey goalie good at fishing? Because he always caught the pucks!
Why did the hockey goalie always carry a notebook? Because he liked to keep a “net” diary!
Why was the hockey rink so slippery? Because the players kept puck-ing around!
Why do hockey players always bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hat trick!
Why did the hockey player bring a flashlight to the game? Because he wanted to make sure his opponents were always in the spotlight!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m just trying to make a good impression!”
Why don’t hockey players like going to the bakery? Because they always get penalties for icing!
How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They stand next to the fans!
Why did the hockey puck go to school? To get smarter and learn how to slap shot!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite meal? Puck-eroni pizza!
Why do hockey players never get married? Because they always get cold feet!
What do you call a hockey player who makes a lot of mistakes? A penalty box of donuts!
Why did the hockey puck turn red? Because it saw the zamboni and blushed!
Why do hockey players never trust trees? Because they always go for the cross-branches!
Why did the hockey player always bring a pencil to practice? In case he needed to draw the defense!
Why do hockey players like dessert? Because they love getting their just desserts!
What did the hockey player say when he lost his tooth? “I won’t be biting into any sandwiches today!”
Why do hockey players love donuts? Because they always go for the hole-in-one!
What did the hockey puck say to the net? “I’m a goal-getter!”
What do you call a cow that plays hockey? A mooo-ving target!
Why did the hockey goalie always carry a pencil and paper? Because he wanted to draw a line in the crease!
What position did the tree play in hockey? The goalie! Because it could really block the pucks with its branches!
Why did the hockey puck go to school? To get a little more knowledge on the ice!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a hockey player? A tri-slash-tops!
Why did the hockey player bring a chicken to the game? Because he heard the referee was blowing fowls!
What does a hockey player and a doctor have in common? They both need good ice!
Why do hockey players never shave? Because they always get a five-o-clock shadow!
Why don’t hockey players like baking? Because every time they get near the net, they freeze!
Why don’t hockey players like math? Because they prefer to score goals instead of counting!
Why do hockey players never get lost? Because they know how to follow the ice-icles!

Hockey Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t have a hearty chuckle over a good hockey joke?

Hockey jokes for adults combine on-ice action, locker room humor, and a dash of puckish wit.

Just like the perfect slapshot, these jokes combine elements of humor, intellect, and a touch of sly innuendo that will leave you laughing out loud.

These jokes are perfect for post-game gatherings, sports-themed parties, or even to defuse tension during a heated match.

Here are some hockey jokes that are sure to score with adults:

Why was the hockey puck so popular? Because it was always a hit with the crowd!
Why did the hockey player eat the clock? Because he wanted to devour some overtime!
Why do hockey players always win at poker? Because they know how to ice their opponents!
Why do hockey players never trust the weather? Because they can’t tell if it’s going to be a high stick or a low puck!
Why did the hockey player bring a tape measure to the game? To measure up to his opponents!
Why do hockey players make good comedians? Because they always have great slapstick humor!
Why was the hockey arena so hot? Because all the fans were going crazy!
Why did the hockey goalie always carry a stopwatch? To time his opponents and make sure they didn’t have any extra time!
Why was the hockey puck always getting into trouble? It had a rough upbringing on the streets!
Why don’t hockey players shower before a game? Because they already have plenty of fans!
Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game? Because he heard the ice was looking a bit rough and wanted to dig deep!
Why don’t hockey players ever get married? Because they always get cold feet on the ice!
Why don’t hockey players ever look up words in the dictionary? Because they can’t find the net!
What did the hockey coach say to his team during practice? “Don’t be ice-olated, work as a team!”
Why don’t hockey players ever get lost in the desert? Because they know how to follow the ice tracks!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t hold his stick properly? A “puck” amateur!
Why don’t hockey players go on vacation? Because they would get called for icing!
Why did the hockey player bring a chainsaw to the game? Because he heard someone was going to have a slash!
Why did the hockey player get arrested? He was caught icing the goalie with a cake!
Why did the hockey player bring a whistle to the game? So he could have a little “blow” time!
Why don’t hockey players like making breakfast? Because they always get caught in a sticky situation with the waffle!
What did the hockey player say to his opponent after he scored a goal? “Nice save, goalie. You almost had it!”
Why did the hockey team go to the bank? To get their goalie some pads!
Why did the hockey player bring a piece of string to the game? In case he needed to tie the score!
Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the tickets were sold out and wanted to climb to the top!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t stop swearing? A foul-mouthed puck!
Why did the hockey player bring a net to the party? Because he wanted to score with the ladies!
Why don’t hockey players trust trees? Because they’re always branching out!
Why was the hockey arena so noisy? Because all the fans were shouting, “Ice to meet you!”
Why was the hockey arena so cold? All the fans left when the Zamboni ran out of beer!
What do you call a goalie who’s also a magician? A netminder with tricks up his sleeves!
What do you call a goalie who can juggle? A netminder with great “glove” skills!
Why did the hockey player bring a notebook to the game? He wanted to take notes on how to score with the ladies!
What did the hockey player say to the referee after getting a penalty? “Ice to meet you!”
Why don’t hockey players ever drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Bruins always take the Cups!
Why was the hockey arena always so cold? Because all the fans kept waving!
Why don’t hockey players go to the bakery? Because they always get too many turnovers!
Why did the hockey player eat his ice skates? Because he wanted a proper meal on the “go”!
Why don’t hockey players like candy? Because they always get tripped up by the fudge!
What do you call a zombie playing hockey? A “ghoulie” on the ice!
Why was the hockey team so good at baking? Because they always knew how to beat the eggs and whip the cream!
Why did the hockey player bring his dog to the game? Because he wanted to play fetch with the puck!
What do you call a goalie who can’t stop laughing? A netminder!
Why was the hockey goalie so good at math? Because he knew how to calculate the angles of the pucks!
Why don’t hockey players like baking? Because they always get called for too many turnovers!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m always getting slapped around!”
Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game? Because he wanted to dig deep into the opponent’s defense!
Why did the hockey goalie start a garden? Because he wanted to cultivate some good saves!
Why did the hockey goalie go to art school? He wanted to master the art of saving!
Why did the hockey team hire a math teacher? Because they needed help with their power plays!
Why did the hockey goalie always bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to see eye-to-eye with the competition!
Why do hockey players love math class? Because they get to practice their dekes and angles!
Why do hockey players always do well in school? Because they know how to stick-handle their way through exams!
Why did the hockey player always carry a map? In case he got lost on the ice!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m tired of being slapped around, can you please stop hitting on me?”
Why do hockey players never invest in stocks? Because they always prefer to stick to their goals!
Why did the hockey team hire a decorator? Because they needed someone to put up all their boards!
Why do hockey players never trust the ice? Because it might break their heart!
Why don’t hockey players like going to the bakery? Because they can’t resist turnovers!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his check bounced!
Why are hockey arenas so cool? Because there are lots of fans!
What do you call a hockey player who can’t swim? A good start to a synchronized drowning team!
Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? Because they always go for the slapstick!
Why was the hockey goalie always in a bad mood? Because he couldn’t catch a break!
What did the hockey coach say to the bench? “Don’t just sit there, break the ice!”
Why do hockey players never invest in stocks? Because they always end up in the penalty box!
What do you call a hockey player who only plays in one game? One-hit blunder!
Why did the hockey player bring a pig to the game? Because he heard the ice might be a little slippery and wanted some extra bacon for traction!
Why do hockey players never share their dessert? Because they always want the extra icing!
Why don’t hockey players take up gardening? Because they always get caught in a power play!
Why did the snowman become a hockey player? He wanted to prove he could stay cool under pressure!
Why don’t hockey players like to get into fights with penguins? They always end up in the penalty box!
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It had some serious issues with being smacked around all the time!
What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty for high-sticking? “But I was just trying to ice the competition!”
Why did the hockey player bring a whistle to the game? Because he wanted to stay in tune with the ice!
Why don’t hockey players like playing hide and seek? Because they always get caught in the corner!
Why did the hockey team bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the ice was thin and they didn’t want to fall through to the bottom of the league!
What did the hockey player say when he scored a hat trick? “I’m on a roll-er hockey-coaster!”
Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It had separation anxiety from the net!
Why do hockey players make good detectives? Because they’re always on the lookout for a good face-off!
What do you call a hockey player who never passes the puck? Self-ish!
What do you call a defenseman who can play the piano? A “blue note” blueliner!
Why did the hockey player bring an umbrella to the game? Because he heard there would be a high chance of pucks raining down on him!
What do you call a hockey player with no girlfriend? Homeless, because he lost his net!
What do hockey players and magicians have in common? They both perform hat tricks!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank during the game? He wanted to check his “checking” account!
Why did the hockey player visit the bakery? Because he wanted to score some turnovers!
Why did the hockey team hire a circus clown? Because they wanted some good slapstick comedy!
Why did the hockey player get a penalty for tearing up the ice? Because he was slashing!
Why was the hockey team always losing? They couldn’t find their goal in life!
Why did the hockey player bring a fishing rod to the game? Because he wanted to catch some high-sticking penalties!
Why was the hockey arena so hot? Because all the fans left and the heat went up!
Why did the hockey player become an accountant? Because he wanted to keep track of all the goals!
What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m just going to slide right past you!”
Why did the hockey player refuse to play cards with the other team? Because they were always dealing with a high-sticking penalty!

Hockey Joke Generator

Scoring the perfect hockey joke can sometimes feel like a real slapshot in the dark.

(Can you feel the chill of that one?)

That’s where our FREE Hockey Joke Generator skates into the picture.

Designed to weave clever puns, icy humor, and playful phrases, it creates jokes that are sure to make your humor game as slick as ice.

Don’t let your humor freeze over.

Use our joke generator to craft jokes that are as fresh and cool as the ice rink.

FAQs About Hockey Jokes

Why are hockey jokes so popular?

Hockey jokes are well-liked because they mix the excitement and spirit of the sport with humor and wit.

They’re a fun way to express passion for the game while bringing a smile to the faces of fellow fans.

Plus, they’re relatable for anyone who has ever watched, played or cheered for hockey.

Can hockey jokes help in social situations?

Certainly!

Telling a hockey joke can be a great way to break the ice at social gatherings or during intermissions at games.

They can help connect with other hockey enthusiasts and create a lighthearted atmosphere.

How can I come up with my own hockey jokes?

Start by understanding the rules, terms, and iconic moments in hockey. This knowledge serves as the foundation of your joke.
Identify common phrases in hockey that could be turned into puns or jokes.
Think of funny situations that could happen on the rink, or use popular hockey stereotypes as a base for your joke.
Consider humorously exaggerating the intensity and physicality of the sport.
Don’t be afraid to use the names of famous hockey players for puns and wordplay.

Are there any tips for remembering hockey jokes?

Connecting the joke to a memorable hockey moment, player, or rule can make it easier to remember.

It also helps to picture the scenario in your mind, making it a part of your own hockey experiences.

How can I make my hockey jokes better?

To make your hockey jokes better, it helps to know your audience and their level of understanding of the sport.

Use the unexpected and exaggeration to your advantage.

Practice your timing and delivery.

And remember, the best jokes often have a kernel of truth in them!

How does the Hockey Joke Generator work?

Our Hockey Joke Generator uses keywords related to hockey to provide you with hilarious hockey-themed humor.

Simply enter relevant terms or situations and hit the Generate Jokes button.

Within seconds, you’ll be ready to tickle the funny bone of any hockey fan.

Is the Hockey Joke Generator free?

Yes, the Hockey Joke Generator is completely free to use.

Create as many jokes as you like to keep your conversations lively and full of laughs.

It’s time to get your game on with some puck-rific humor!

Conclusion

Hockey jokes are a fun and spirited way to add a little puck and play to everyday conversations, making life a bit more enjoyable with each chuckle.

From the fast and snappy to the detailed and side-splitting, there’s a hockey joke for every occasion.

So next time you’re lacing up your skates or watching a game, remember, there’s humor to be found in every goal, penalty, and power play.

Keep spreading the laughs, and let the good times slapshot and slide.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without hockey—unimaginable and, frankly, a bit less thrilling.

Happy joking, everyone!

Slapshot Jokes That Will Score Big Laughs

Hockey Puck Jokes for a Slapstick Sense of Humor

Goalie Jokes That Are a Sure Save for Any Situation

Ice Rink Jokes to Break the Ice at a Party

Penalty Box Jokes That Are Worth the Time Out