484 Little Johnny Jokes to Lighten Up Your Day

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to dive into the world of Little Johnny jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the ones that are truly top-notch.

That’s why we’ve rounded up a collection of the most hilarious Little Johnny jokes.

From mischievous punchlines to witty quips, our compilation has a joke for every twist and turn of childhood.

So, let’s step into the unpredictable world of Little Johnny’s humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny jokes have been a staple of humor for generations, providing many laughs and chuckles.

These jokes revolve around a fictional character named Little Johnny, who is known for his innocent yet often cheeky remarks.

Little Johnny’s humorous and unexpected responses to adults, particularly teachers and parents, form the crux of these jokes.

They provide a sense of nostalgia, reminding us of the innocently mischievous aspects of childhood.

Creating the perfect Little Johnny joke involves striking a balance between innocence and wit.

The charm lies in the way Little Johnny’s innocence collides head-on with adult situations, often resulting in unexpected and hilariously insightful comments.

Ready for a trip down memory lane?

Prepare to laugh out loud with these Little Johnny jokes:

Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to his karate class? Because he wanted to have a good night’s sleep while practicing his chops!
Little Johnny: “Dad, can I borrow $5?” Dad: “Four dollars? What do you need $3 for?”
Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.'” Johnny: “I is…” Teacher: “No, Little Johnny. You should say ‘I am’.” Johnny: “Okay, ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'”
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the zoo? He heard the giraffes were looking for a new friend on the “up” side!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out his dad was a superhero? “I guess that makes me an X-Kid!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a car door to the desert? Because he wanted to roll down the window when it got hot!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a clown? “Teacher, I think someone left their funny bone at the circus!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a parachute to the math class? Because he heard they were learning about “falling numbers”!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw the circus? “Look mom, a three-ring binder!”
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why he didn’t do his homework? “Because aliens abducted it, Miss!”
Why did Little Johnny take a fishing pole to the zoo? Because he wanted to catch the giraffe’s neck!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because he heard they were giving away free samples on the top shelf!
Teacher: “Johnny, if there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many will be left?” Johnny: “None, because the rest will be scared and fly away!” Teacher: “The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out his teacher was a vampire? “Fangs for the memories!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out his teacher had a twin? “I hope I never see double trouble during exams!”
Why did Little Johnny’s math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
What did Little Johnny say when he was asked how he caught a fish with his bare hands? “I used my arms, silly!”
Teacher: “Little Johnny, why are you wearing a raincoat in the classroom?” Little Johnny: “I heard the forecast said there would be a pop quiz today!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because he wanted to climb the “food pyramid” and reach the snacks on top!
Little Johnny: “Mom, I don’t want to go to school today.” Mom: “But you have to.” Little Johnny: “Aw, Mom, I want to stay home and watch cartoons!” Mom: “Johnny, you’re 35 years old. You need to get a job.”>
Why did Little Johnny bring a suitcase to school? Because he heard it was a case of emergency and he needed to pack up and leave!
Little Johnny: “Mom, I’m going to be a drummer when I grow up.” Mom: “But you don’t have any rhythm, Johnny!” Little Johnny: “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll just play the drums really loudly, and nobody will notice!”
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a zombie? “Teacher, that guy needs some sleep!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the swimming pool? He wanted to make a “splash” with his diving skills!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the tall story giraffes were telling!
Teacher: “Little Johnny, why is your cat at school today?” Little Johnny: “Because I heard the principal saying he wanted to see pussy in his office!”
What did little Johnny say when he found out he was going to be a big brother? “My teddy bear better watch out!”
Why did Little Johnny always carry a pencil behind his ear? In case someone asked him to draw a blank!
Teacher: “Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word ‘geometry’.” Little Johnny: “Sure, you’re pretty, Mrs. Johnson, but I’m not into geometry!”
Why did Little Johnny wear sunglasses to the park? Because even the sun needs to be shaded by his coolness!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the amusement park? Because he wanted to “elevate” his fun to a whole new level!
What did little Johnny say when he saw a sign that said, “Tree Felling in Progress”? “Wow, that must be a really tall story!”
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the park? Because he heard the slide had “ups and downs”!
How did Little Johnny’s teacher describe him? “The only child who makes the class laugh even when I’m not telling jokes!”
Why did Little Johnny take a picture of the clock? Because he wanted to capture the moment!
Teacher: “Why are you late, Little Johnny?” Little Johnny: “Class started before I got here!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a spoon to the bakery? Because he wanted to eat cake by the slice!
Why did Little Johnny always bring a mirror to his math class? Because the teacher said there would be “lots of reflections” during the lesson!
What did little Johnny say when he accidentally swallowed some coins? “Now I can finally pay attention in class!”
Little Johnny: “Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?” Teacher: “Sure, but first, spell ‘bathroom’.” Little Johnny: “B-A-T-H-R-O-O-M.” Teacher: “No, you forgot the ‘P’.” Little Johnny: “There’s a ‘P’ in the bathroom?”
Teacher: “Johnny, why are you late again?” Johnny: “I was dreaming of a world where there are no tests!” Teacher: “And how did that make you late?” Johnny: “Because in my dream, the school was on the other side of town!”
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the swimming pool? Because the sign said, “Dive in at your own risk!”
Teacher: “Why did you eat your homework, Johnny?” Johnny: “Because I heard it was a piece of cake!”
Teacher: “Little Johnny, why are you late again?” Johnny: “Sorry, teacher. I overslept my alarm clock.” Teacher: “But you don’t have an alarm clock in your house.” Johnny: “I know, teacher. That’s why I overslept!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a flashlight to bed? Because he wanted to turn his dreams into reality!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the park? He wanted to climb up the slide to make it more challenging!
Why did Little Johnny wear his glasses while he was sleeping? Because he wanted to have 20/20 dreams!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he had a twin sister? “Wow, Mom, I didn’t know you had such a good sense of humor!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a basketball to the restaurant? Because he heard they had great food and decided to dribble in for a meal!
Why did Little Johnny throw the butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butterfly!
Teacher: “Johnny, why are you always on the bottom of the class?” Johnny: “It’s only because my seat is lower than everyone else’s!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to the car race? Because he wanted to have a cushioned seat for the fast lap!
Teacher: “Little Johnny, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?” Little Johnny: “You told me to do it without using tables!”
What did Little Johnny say to his teacher when she asked why he was late? “Sorry, I was trying to invent a time machine, but I got stuck in the past!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a mirror to the football game? Because he wanted to see the quarterback!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the “monkey business” up close and personal!
Little Johnny: “Mom, can I go to the zoo?” Mom: “Why?” Little Johnny: “Because the elephants are giving away free peanuts, of course!”
What did Little Johnny say when his dad asked why he was wearing two different shoes? “Because it’s opposite day, Dad!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? Because he heard the giraffes were giving out high-fives!
Little Johnny: “Dad, can I have $20?” Dad: “Money doesn’t grow on trees, son.” Little Johnny: “But grandpa said you were branching out!”
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him to use the word “definitely” in a sentence? “Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?” “Definitely!”
Little Johnny: “Dad, can you help me with my math homework?” Dad: “Sure, son. What’s the problem?” Little Johnny: “If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?”
What did Little Johnny do when he saw a sign that said “tree falling”? He yelled, “Timber!” just to be a helpful little guy!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a banana peel on the sidewalk? “I don’t find this very appealing!”
Teacher: “Little Johnny, can you use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence?” Little Johnny: “Yes, teacher. The sky is definitely blue… unless it’s cloudy!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he was colorblind? “Well, this certainly changes things!”
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to reach the high shelves and find the book ‘How to Stop Being Grounded!’ .
What did Little Johnny say when he found a dollar on the ground? “Hey, look! Money doesn’t grow on trees, but apparently, it falls from the sky!”
Little Johnny: “Dad, can I have $20 for a face mask?” Dad: “Why, what happened to the $50 you just got yesterday?” Little Johnny: “It was a really good face mask!”
Little Johnny: “Mom, can I have $20?” Mom: “Does it look like I am made of money?” Little Johnny: “Well, isn’t that what M.O.M. stands for?”
What did Little Johnny say when he saw his report card? “Mom, I think they need to check the spelling of ‘genius’!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the concert? Because he wanted to get a higher note than the singer!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a banana peel? “Watch out, this might be a slippery situation!”
Little Johnny: “Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas?” Mom: “No, you’ll be getting turkey, like everyone else!”
Why did Little Johnny only eat food that started with the letter “P”? Because he wanted to turn into a pirate!
Why did Little Johnny wear a space suit to the grocery store? Because he wanted to buy some “space-ghetti”!
Why did Little Johnny refuse to jump on the trampoline? Because he didn’t want to bounce into any conclusions!
Teacher: “Johnny, why are you late again?” Little Johnny: “I overslept, but I dreamt I was early!”
Teacher: “Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Johnny: “I want to be a billionaire, just like my dad!” Teacher: “Your dad is a billionaire?” Johnny: “No, but he wants to be one too!”
Why did Little Johnny take a pillow to his math test? Because he wanted to solve problems in his sleep!

Short Little Johnny Jokes

Short Little Johnny Jokes are the humorous equivalent of lightning in a bottle—quick, surprising, and guaranteed to elicit a chuckle.

Ideal for a quick giggle via text message, a funny social media update, or a moment of levity during a casual get-together, these jokes are the epitome of humor in brevity.

The charm of short Little Johnny jokes lies in their unexpected twists and the innocent mischief of their titular character, delivering a hearty laugh within a limited word count.

So, ready for some fun?

Here are a collection of short Little Johnny jokes that serve up a speedy dose of humor in just a few words.

What do you call Little Johnny when he’s dancing? The Twist-er!
What’s Little Johnny’s favorite subject in school? Recess!
What do you call Little Johnny’s math homework? Equation frustration!
What did Little Johnny say when he found a dollar? “I’m rich!”
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a catfish? “Meow-squito!”
What did Little Johnny say to the teacher’s pet? Teacher’s pet, fetch!
What did Little Johnny say when he finished his science project? “Eureka!”
Why was Little Johnny’s report card wet? He always makes the grade!
What did Little Johnny say when he met a pirate? “Arrr, matey!”
What do you call Little Johnny when he’s a detective? Sherlock Homeboy!
What did Little Johnny say when he lost his pencil? “Pencil-vania!”

Little Johnny Jokes One-Liners

Little Johnny one-liner jokes are the epitome of humor encapsulated in a single, cheeky sentence.

They’re the verbal equivalent of Little Johnny’s notorious smart-alecky responses – audacious, quick-witted, and downright hilarious.

Crafting a good Little Johnny one-liner requires a balance of inventiveness, brevity, and a deep love for the art of humorous dialogue.

The challenge lies in capturing both the setup and the punchline in a succinct form, thereby delivering maximum amusement with minimal verbosity.

Here’s to hoping these Little Johnny one-liners bring a hearty laugh, reminding you of the mischievous child in all of us:

Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he cut the dog’s tail off. Little Johnny replied, “Mom, I didn’t cut it off. I just moved it a little and it’s still there.”>
Little Johnny told his mom that he didn’t want to go to school because he already knew everything, to which she replied, “That’s nice, but you still have to learn the alphabet.”>
Little Johnny’s math teacher called his parents and said, “Your son has been stealing pencils from my class.” His dad replied, “Well, it’s not like he can multiply them!”
Little Johnny asked his dad, “Dad, do you believe in ghosts?” His dad replied, “No, son. I’ve been married to your mother for 20 years.”>
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you put the car keys in the freezer?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to cool down the hot wheels!”
Little Johnny asked his mom, “Can I have a bookmark?” His mom replied, “Don’t you have a smartphone?” Little Johnny said, “Yeah, but it’s hard to scroll on a sandwich.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him why he was late for class, he said, “Sorry, I was trying to skip breakfast but my cereal kept chasing me.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher said, “I’ll give you a hint, the answer starts with ‘M’ and ends with ‘arriage’ and it’s something that creates babies.” Little Johnny excitedly shouted, “A marathon!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Johnny replied, “Happy.” The teacher said, “I meant a profession.” Johnny smiled and said, “Well, I can be a comedian then.”>
Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could be excused because his brain was full and needed to delete some files.
Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he was wearing a superhero cape to bed, and he said, “I’m just preparing for dream-saving missions.”>
Little Johnny told his teacher, “I forgot my homework at home.” The teacher replied, “That’s okay, just bring it tomorrow.” Little Johnny said, “No, it was homework for my dog.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If I have ten apples and you take away five, what do you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Large hands.”>
Little Johnny’s math teacher asked him, “If you have five apples and I take away three, how many apples do you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “I still have five apples. The three you took away are yours!”
Little Johnny told his teacher he had a frog in his pocket. The teacher asked, “Really? How do you know?” Little Johnny replied, “I heard it croaking ‘2×2=4’.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him why he was late, and he answered, “I got stuck in a time warp, but luckily I managed to escape before the dinosaurs arrived.”>
Little Johnny’s mother asked, “Why are you home from school so early?” Little Johnny replied, “I was the only one who could answer a question.” His mother asked, “Oh, really? What was the question?” Little Johnny grinned and said, “Who threw the eraser at the principal?”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the nurse? My arm hurts.” The teacher asked, “How did you hurt your arm?” Johnny replied, “I slipped on a banana peel.” The teacher, skeptical, said, “Johnny, I think you’re making up stories.” Johnny replied, “Well, you wouldn’t believe the truth.”>
Little Johnny’s mother asked, “Why did you bring a ladder to school?” Johnny replied, “Because my teacher said my grades are going through the roof.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Why are you late again?” Little Johnny replied, “Sorry, teacher, a sign on the road said ‘School ahead, go slow’.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him why he was late, and he said, “Sorry, I was busy inventing a time machine.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher said, “Johnny, your essay on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your friend’s. Did you copy it?” Little Johnny responded, “No, teacher, it’s the same dog!”
Little Johnny told his mom he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up, so she hid the scissors and Band-Aids.
Little Johnny told his friend, “I invented a new word! Plagiarism!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he was rolling around in the dirt. He replied, “Mom, I’m trying to become an earthworm when I grow up.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much money would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “One dollar.” The teacher asked, “Why?” Little Johnny replied, “Because my dad wouldn’t give me any money.”>
Little Johnny told his mom, “I’m not going to school today.” His mom asked, “Why not?” Johnny replied, “Well, one kid in my class called me ugly, another called me stupid, and the teacher said I had to go.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Why are you chewing gum in class?” Little Johnny replied, “Because my mom told me if I ever smell cigarette smoke, I should chew gum.”>
Little Johnny asked his dad, “Dad, why are all wedding dresses white?” His dad replied, “Son, weddings are a solemn occasion where two people promise to spend their lives together in misery. White represents the future.”>
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “Johnny, it’s ‘May I go to the bathroom?'” Little Johnny responded, “But I’m asking if I have the ability to go, not if I have permission!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had five apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “Five.” The teacher, confused, asked, “How?” Little Johnny confidently replied, “I’m a smart little Johnny, I’d give you an apple!”
Little Johnny proudly announced to his class that he had discovered a new planet, but it turned out to be just a really round pancake on his plate.
Little Johnny’s teacher said, “Johnny, why are you late?” Little Johnny replied, “Sorry, teacher, I overslept.” The teacher asked, “And why did you oversleep?” Little Johnny grinned and said, “Because I’m not going to fall asleep in school.”>
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you get such a low grade on your test?” Little Johnny answered, “Because of absence.” His dad was confused and said, “But you were present at school that day!” Little Johnny smiled and said, “Exactly!”
Little Johnny said to his teacher, “I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test.” The teacher replied, “Neither do I, but that’s the lowest grade I can give.”>
Little Johnny told his teacher that his dog ate his homework, but she didn’t believe him until he burped up a math test.
Little Johnny proudly announced to his mom that he got an A+ in math. She replied, “That’s great, Johnny! How did you manage that?” Johnny replied, “I cheated off the smartest kid in class.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “Johnny, why is your cat at school today?” Johnny replied, “Because I heard my dad tell my mom, ‘I’m going to eat that pussy once Johnny leaves for school!'”
Little Johnny told his friend, “I got a job at the bakery, but I quit after one day. They said I was too doughy.”>
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher, “How do you spell crocodile?” Little Johnny replied, “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L.” The teacher said, “That’s not correct.” Little Johnny replied, “Maybe it’s not the right crocodile.”>
Little Johnny’s mom told him, “Don’t be silly, it’s just a little rain.” Little Johnny replied, “Yes, but what if it’s raining cats and dogs?”
Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could be excused from class because his dog ate his homework, and when the teacher didn’t believe him, Johnny added, “Well, at least he’ll have something to chew on during detention.”>
Little Johnny told his teacher he had a problem with math. She asked, “What’s the problem?” Little Johnny replied, “I don’t have enough fingers to count on!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “Johnny, it’s ‘May I go to the bathroom’.” Little Johnny replied, “But I asked first!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, but the teacher said, “You can’t go now, you’re in the middle of a sentence!”
Little Johnny’s dad asked him why he was talking to himself, and he replied, “I’m having a parent-teacher conference.”>
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “But I just saw you go to the bathroom!” Little Johnny said, “Yeah, but I didn’t get a chance to flush it!”
Little Johnny proudly told his friends, “I know the whole alphabet!” His friend replied, “That’s great, Johnny!” Johnny grinned and said, “Well, not when I sing it.”>
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “Yes, but only if you can recite the alphabet.” Little Johnny said, “A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.” The teacher asked, “Where is the P?” Little Johnny replied, “It’s running down my leg!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him why he was wearing sunglasses inside the classroom, and he replied, “I’m just trying to shade my intelligence from the rest of the students.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had seven apples and I gave you two more, how many would you have?” Johnny replied, “Seven.” The teacher asked, “No, listen carefully… You would have nine.” Johnny sighed and said, “No, ma’am, I already have seven.”>
Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Why is your math book so sad?” Johnny replied, “Because it has too many problems.”>
Little Johnny told his mom, “I want to be a doctor when I grow up.” His mom replied, “But Johnny, you can’t even cure your own boredom.”>
Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. He replied, “I’m trying to see what I look like when I’m asleep.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What is the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny confidently replied, “H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.” The teacher asked, “What are you talking about?” Little Johnny replied, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him why he was whispering during the test, he replied, “Because you said it was a piece of cake.”>
Little Johnny told his teacher that he couldn’t do his math homework because his dog ate his calculator and his cat ate his textbook.
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “How do you spell ‘crocodile’?” Johnny replied, “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.” The teacher said, “That’s not correct.” Johnny said, “Maybe it’s not correct, but you asked me how I spell it.”>
Little Johnny’s mom said, “Eat your vegetables, they’ll make you grow up big and strong.” Johnny replied, “But Mom, I want to stay small and weak forever!”
Little Johnny asked his sister why she was studying so hard. She replied, “I want to get into a good college.” Johnny said, “Why bother? Dad says we’ll all be robots in the future anyway.”>
Little Johnny’s mom told him to stop playing with his food. He replied, “Okay, can I play with my vegetables instead?”
Little Johnny told his dad he wanted to be a comedian when he grew up, his dad replied, “Well, you’ve certainly mastered the art of making me laugh.”>
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you put your money in the blender?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to make some liquid assets.”>
Little Johnny asked his dad why some people use sarcasm, his dad replied, “Oh yeah, that’s a real useful skill.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what percentage of apples did he take?” Little Johnny replied, “100% Miss. He took all the apples.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him to use the word “harmony” in a sentence. Little Johnny replied, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. Harmony’s my dog’s name.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many birds are left?” Johnny confidently answered, “None, because the gunshot would scare the rest away.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If you have an ice cream cone and the ice cream falls on the floor, what will you do?” Little Johnny replied, “I will cry, then lick it off the floor because I’m not wasting ice cream!”
When Little Johnny’s teacher asked him why he was late, he replied, “Sorry, but a sign on the road said ‘School Ahead,’ so I had to wait for it to pass.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you have six apples and you take away four, how many apples do you have?” Johnny confidently answered, “Four apples, of course.” The teacher sighed and said, “No, Johnny, you’re missing the point.” Johnny grinned and said, “No, teacher, you’re missing the apple.”>
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you eat all the plants in the garden?” Johnny replied, “I didn’t want any vegetables to grow up and become salads.”>
Little Johnny’s math teacher asked him, “If you have five apples and I take three, how many do you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “Two.” The teacher said, “No, Johnny, you don’t understand. Let me put it in a different way. If you have five apples and I forcibly take three of them, how many do you have left?” Little Johnny thought for a moment and said, “None. You took them.” The teacher sighed and said, “No, Johnny, I’m trying to teach you the concept of subtraction.” Little Johnny replied, “And I’m trying to teach you the concept of theft.”>
Little Johnny’s math teacher called him average. He politely corrected her, saying, “Actually, I’m below average.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “Can you name three animals that live in the ocean?” Little Johnny replied, “Yes, a dolphin and two whales.”>
Little Johnny asked his mom, “Can I have a dog?” His mom replied, “No, you already have a dog at home.” Johnny said, “But Mom, that one’s not good at fetching!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many will be left?” Little Johnny replied, “None, because the rest will fly away.” The teacher said, “Actually, the answer is four, but I like the way you’re thinking.” Little Johnny responded, “Well, I have a question for you. If three women are eating ice cream cones in a shop, one is licking her cone, the second is biting her cone, and the third is sucking her cone, which one of them is married?” The teacher blushed and replied, “Well, I guess the one sucking the cone.” Little Johnny grinned and said, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you’re thinking.”>
Little Johnny’s parents told him that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, so now he’s questioning the existence of his parents.
Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could be excused because his dog was eating his homework, but the teacher replied, “Nice try, but I’ve heard that one before.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him to use the word ‘contagious’ in a sentence, so he said, “My teacher said laughter is contagious, but I think she just wants us to laugh at her jokes.”>
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “Yes, but only if you can recite the alphabet first.” Little Johnny said, “Sure, but do I have to go all the way to Z?”
Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, but she said, “No, it’s too late.” Johnny replied, “Actually, it’s not too late, it’s too early.”>
Little Johnny told his mom that he couldn’t clean his room because he was practicing his future career as a professional mess-maker.
Little Johnny told his mom, “I’m scared of the bogeyman!” His mom comforted him, saying, “Don’t worry, honey, bogeymen aren’t real.” Little Johnny looked relieved and said, “That’s good, because there’s someone under my bed saying they need to talk to you.”>
Little Johnny’s math teacher asked him, “If you have five apples and I take away three, how many apples do you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Two, but I don’t really care about the apples, I just want the teacher to leave me alone.”>
Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Why did you get an ‘F’ in math?” Johnny replied, “Because the teacher ran out of letters and had to start grading with numbers!”
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you pour your bowl of cereal on the floor?” Johnny replied, “Because the box said ‘Pour onto a flat surface’.”>
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you pour your orange juice on the keyboard?” Little Johnny replied, “I wanted to have a website with fresh-squeezed content.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had eight apples and I took three, how many would you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “Eight.” The teacher asked, “How do you figure?” Little Johnny replied, “I would still have eight apples. I’m not very good at math.”>
Little Johnny’s mom said, “I told you not to play with matches!” He replied, “But I didn’t! I played with fire.”>
Little Johnny told his teacher, “I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test.” The teacher asked, “Why not?” Little Johnny replied, “I guess I just didn’t study enough to be worthy of it.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher said, “I hope I didn’t see you looking at Fred’s test.” Johnny replied, “I hope you didn’t see me either.”>
Little Johnny’s math teacher asked, “If I have 5 apples and I give you 3, how many will you have?” Johnny replied, “I guess 5.” The teacher, confused, said, “No, Johnny, you don’t understand math.” Johnny shrugged and said, “Well, you don’t understand my appetite!”
Little Johnny told his dad, “Dad, you’re like a dictionary.” His dad asked, “Why is that?” Little Johnny replied, “Because you’re adding meaning to my life.”>
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “Only if you can recite the alphabet.” Johnny quickly responded, “Sure, teacher! ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.” The teacher said, “Where’s the ‘P’?” Little Johnny smiled and replied, “Halfway down my leg!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he had a bruise on his forehead, he said, “I was trying to swing with my eyes closed and forgot to let go of the rope.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him to make a sentence using the word “beans”. He said, “My mother made me eat all my beans, but I farted and blew them all away.”>
Little Johnny asked his mom, “Mom, why is the girl next door always yelling and screaming?” His mom replied, “Well, Johnny, she’s probably playing hide-and-seek with her parents.” Little Johnny said, “Oh, that makes sense. I thought they were trying to kill her.”>
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher, “What is the chemical formula for water?” Johnny confidently answered, “HIJKLMNO.” The teacher was confused and asked, “Where’s the ‘H2O’?” Johnny replied, “Well, Miss, you told us it was H to O.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “Why are you late?” Johnny replied, “Because of the sign.” The teacher asked, “What sign?” Johnny said, “The one that says, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!'”
Little Johnny asked his dad, “Dad, can you write in the dark?” His dad replied, “I think so. What do you want me to write?” Little Johnny said, “Write your name on this report card.”>
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “How do you like going to school?” Johnny replied, “The food is better than at home, but I can’t stand the homework!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the nurse?” The teacher replied, “Why? Are you sick?” Johnny said, “No, but my sister is and she’s in the nurse’s office.”>
Little Johnny told his dad, “I’m going to draw a picture of you.” His dad replied, “But I’m right here.” Little Johnny said, “Yes, Dad, but I can’t draw you when you’re moving.”>
When Little Johnny’s teacher asked him how to spell Mississippi, he replied, “The river or the state?”
Little Johnny asked his dad, “Can you lend me some money?” His dad replied, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” Little Johnny said, “But I heard you telling mom that you’re going to make a lot of money from your ‘money tree’ business.”>
Little Johnny’s mother scolded him, “Johnny, stop watching TV, it’s bad for your eyes.” Johnny replied, “But Mom, I’m not watching TV, I’m just looking at the pictures.”>
Little Johnny asked his grandpa, “Grandpa, do you know how to use a smartphone?” His grandpa replied, “Of course, Johnny. I know how to make a phone call, but only if it’s a landline.”>
Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he got a zero on his test. He replied, “Because my teacher ran out of questions.”>
Little Johnny told his mom, “I don’t want to go to school today. Everyone makes fun of me.” His mom replied, “Johnny, you have to go. You’re the principal.”>
Little Johnny told his mom that he wanted to be a comedian when he grew up, and she said, “Well, at least you’ll always have a job making me laugh.”>
Little Johnny asked his dad if he could have a dog, and his dad said, “Sure, just make sure it’s a hot dog!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he got such a low grade in his test. He replied, “Mom, the questions were so hard that even the teacher couldn’t answer them!”
Little Johnny’s father asked him, “Why did you eat the entire cake?” Little Johnny replied, “Because it said ‘concentrate’ on the box!”
Little Johnny’s teacher said, “I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.” Little Johnny replied, “Life imprisonment!”
Little Johnny asked his mom why he has to eat his vegetables, to which she replied, “Because I said so.” Johnny retorted, “Well, Grandma says you have to eat them too, so why don’t you?”
Little Johnny told his mom, “I finished my homework in record time.” His mom asked, “How do you know it was record time?” Little Johnny replied, “The record player was on the whole time I was doing it.”>
Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom. The teacher replied, “Sure, but first, tell me the chemical formula for water.” Little Johnny confidently said, “H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.” The teacher asked, “What? That’s not correct!” Little Johnny replied, “But you said it’s H to O!”
Little Johnny asked his mom, “Can I have a bookmark?” She replied, “Sure, here’s a dollar.” Johnny said, “No, I meant a bookmark for my book.” His mom laughed and said, “I know, I was just testing your reading skills.”>
Little Johnny asked his mom why the sky is blue. She explained about the scattering of light and molecules in the atmosphere. Johnny replied, “I meant, why isn’t it purple?”
Little Johnny told his dad, “Dad, I’m cold.” His dad replied, “Go stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.”>
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to use the word “definitely” in a sentence. Little Johnny thought for a moment and said, “Teacher, do farts have lumps?” The teacher replied, “No, Johnny, they don’t.” Little Johnny said, “Then I definitely just pooped my pants.”>
Little Johnny told his teacher that his backpack was so heavy because it was full of dreams and snacks.
Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could be excused from school because “I accidentally superglued my brother to the ceiling.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher said, “I’ll give $20 to the student who can tell me the name of the most common bird in our city.” Little Johnny immediately replied, “Fried Chicken!”
When Little Johnny’s teacher asked him why he was whispering, he replied, “Because I’m a terrible singer!”
Little Johnny’s mom told him to put the butter on the kitchen table. So, he took the butter and put it on top of the table, saying, “You wanted the butter on the table, Mom!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What’s the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny confidently replied, “HIJKLMNO.” The teacher looked puzzled and asked, “What are you talking about, Johnny?” Little Johnny replied, “Well, you said it’s H to O!”
Little Johnny asked his mom, “Why is your hair turning gray?” His mom replied, “Every time you misbehave, I get a new gray hair.” Johnny thought for a moment and said, “Mom, how come all of grandma’s hair is gray?”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Why is your cat at school today?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I heard my dog got all the attention last week!”
Little Johnny asked his dad if he was born handsome. His dad replied, “No, son, I was born a baby like everyone else.”>
Little Johnny’s math teacher asked, “If you have five apples and I ask for three, how many will you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “Five.” The teacher said, “No, Johnny, you don’t understand math.” Little Johnny replied, “No, you don’t understand my mother!”
Little Johnny’s math teacher asked, “Johnny, if you have 5 chocolates and I ask for one, how many chocolates will you have left?” Johnny replied, “5.” The teacher, confused, asked, “How?” Johnny grinned, “Because I’m not giving you any.”>
Little Johnny told his mom he didn’t need to learn cursive because he planned on being a doctor and doctors have terrible handwriting anyway.
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had ten cookies and you gave me half, how many would you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “That depends, are you single?”
Little Johnny asked his dad how to stop a sneeze, and he said, “Just say ‘achoo not’!”
Little Johnny’s math teacher asked him, “If I give you two apples and another two apples, how many apples will you have?” Little Johnny confidently replied, “Five.” The teacher was disappointed and said, “No, Johnny, it’s four.” Little Johnny grinned and said, “Nope, it’s four apples and one Johnny.”>
Little Johnny’s dad said, “I’m going to stand outside. If anyone asks about me, say I’m outstanding.”>
Little Johnny asked his mom if he could have a pet elephant, and she said, “No, but you can have a little peanut.”>
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you pour water on the TV?” Little Johnny replied, “Because the news said that there was a flat-screen on it.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What do you call a person who keeps talking when people are no longer interested?” Johnny thought for a moment and said, “A teacher.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher said, “Make a sentence using the word ‘beans’.” Little Johnny said, “My mother made me a sandwich and the beans were falling out.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him what comes after 69. Johnny replied, “Mouthwash.”>
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him to use the word “contagious” in a sentence. Johnny replied, “Our neighbors just got a new puppy, and it’s so cute that my mom said it’s contagious.” The teacher, impressed, said, “Johnny, that’s not exactly the right context.” Johnny grinned and said, “Well, it’s spreading happiness, isn’t it?”

Little Johnny Dad Jokes

Little Johnny Dad Jokes are the epitome of childhood innocence combined with a dash of mischievousness that will surely induce a chuckle from anyone listening.

These jokes are centered around the fictional character of ‘Little Johnny’, who with his quick-witted responses and sarcastic remarks, never fails to add an element of surprise and humor.

Ideal for family reunions, friendly get-togethers or simply to lighten up a dull day, these jokes are the perfect way to induce hearty laughter.

Prepare for some laughs and the occasional facepalm.

Here are some Little Johnny Dad Jokes that will leave you chuckling:

Why did Little Johnny bring a baseball bat to the restaurant? Because he heard they served fastballs!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the park? Because he heard the slide was looking for a new “step” in its life!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to climb up the sand dunes for a better view.
Why did Little Johnny bring a pack of batteries to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the koalas and make sure they were fully charged!
What did Little Johnny’s mom say when he asked for a toy gun? “No, son. We already have a little Johnny.”>
Why did Little Johnny wear sunglasses during math class? Because even numbers tend to be negative!
Why did Little Johnny bring a watermelon to school? Because he wanted to be a ‘melon’-dramatic actor!
Why did Little Johnny bring a suitcase full of cheese to the party? Because he wanted to say “cheese and travel”!
Why did Little Johnny bring a flashlight to the football game? Because he wanted to shed some light on the field!
Why was Little Johnny’s report card wet? Because his grades were below C-level!
What did Little Johnny’s mom say when he asked for a dollar? “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” Little Johnny replied, “But mom, you always tell me I’m a chip off the old block!”
Why did Little Johnny take a pencil to the kitchen? Because he wanted to draw himself a bath!
Why did Little Johnny only bring a pencil to his math test? Because he heard it had a lot of problems to solve!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the football game? Because he heard the players were going for a high score!
Why did Little Johnny wear two jackets to his math class? The teacher told him to solve the problem with extra layers!
Why did Little Johnny bring a watermelon to the art gallery? Because he wanted to make a still life!
Why did Little Johnny bring a spoon to the movie theater? Because he wanted to see a spoonful of laughter!
Why did Little Johnny wear a backpack to the zoo? Because he wanted to bring his own snacks for the animals!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the “top dog” in the giraffe exhibit!
Why did Little Johnny bring a hammer to school? Because he wanted to nail the spelling test!
Why did Little Johnny put his shoes in the refrigerator? Because he wanted to have cool kicks!
Why did Little Johnny bring a loaf of bread to the zoo? Because he wanted to feed the giraffes some “high-dough” food!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the school? Because he heard high school was a step up from elementary!
Why did Little Johnny bring a fishing rod to the swimming pool? Because he wanted to catch some “pool” fish!
Why did Little Johnny bring a watermelon to the art class? Because he wanted to create some tasty water-colors!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to reach the high shelves and read up on his favorite subjects!
Why did Little Johnny always bring a pillow to the restaurant? Because he wanted to have a dessert and a napkin!
Why did Little Johnny bring a skateboard to the library? Because he wanted to do some extreme reading!
Why did Little Johnny bring a suitcase full of feathers to school? Because he wanted to prove that “featherweights” can still carry a heavy load!
Why did Little Johnny wear headphones while studying? Because the music helped him to concentrate “Bee-thoven”!
What did Little Johnny’s dad say when he asked for money to buy a new toy? “Sure, here’s a dollar. Go buy yourself a sense of humor!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ruler to the zoo? Because he wanted to measure how long the animals were lion around!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a flock of birds flying south for the winter? “I wonder who’s gonna pay their airfare?”
Why did Little Johnny take a nap on the library floor? Because his teacher told him to find a good book and dive into it!
Why did Little Johnny take a mirror to the restaurant? Because he wanted to see the food reflected in his eyes!
Why did Little Johnny bring a map to the zoo? Because he wanted to find the elephant in the room!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the classroom? Because he heard high school was all about higher education!
Why did Little Johnny bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because he heard the animals had a lot of baggage to share!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the party? Because he wanted to be the life of the high-five!
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why his homework wasn’t turned in? “I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to add to your already heavy workload, teacher!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a flashlight to the cinema? Because he wanted to see the movie in a new light!
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the park? Because he wanted to slide into the next level of fun!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the museum? Because he wanted to get a closer look at the masterpiece paintings and really step up his art appreciation!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he couldn’t go to the circus? “Well, I guess I’ll just have to clown around at home!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bakery? Because he wanted to rise to the occasion and become the best doughnut decorator!
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the concert? Because he wanted to get a better view and rock out on a higher level!
Why did Little Johnny bring a football to the bakery? Because he heard he could get a roll!
Why did Little Johnny bring a spoon to the park? In case anyone asked if he had any good jokes, he could say, ‘I’ve got a spoonful!’.
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the restaurant? Because he heard they had high “chairs”!
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to school? Because he wanted to reach the high notes in music class!
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why he was late? “Sorry, I was busy doing nothing!”
Why did Little Johnny become an astronaut? Because he wanted some space from his sister!
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the museum? Because he wanted to elevate his appreciation for art!
Why did Little Johnny wear two jackets to the comedy show? Because he heard it was going to be a double-breasted performance!
Why did Little Johnny bring a bag of ice to the restaurant? Because he wanted to break the ice with his jokes!
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the theater? Because he wanted to have a higher stage presence!
Why did Little Johnny bring a backpack full of batteries to school? Because he wanted to power up his knowledge!
Why did Little Johnny bring a sponge to his baseball game? Because he wanted to soak up the competition!
Why did Little Johnny wear a watch to his math class? Because it had a lot of hands-on activities!
Why did Little Johnny bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because he wanted to pack some lunch for the animals!
Why did Little Johnny take a spoon to the park? Because he heard there was going to be a jam session!
Why did Little Johnny bring a baseball bat to the amusement park? Because he heard there were some ‘pitcher’-esque rides!
Why did Little Johnny bring a shovel to the park? Because he wanted to dig up some dirt on his friends!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a squirrel carrying an umbrella? “I guess it’s going to be a rainy nut day!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a snorkel to math class? Because he heard they were diving into some ‘integer’-esting topics!
Why did Little Johnny wear a watch to school? Because it was time for class!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a banana peel on the ground? “I guess someone couldn’t find the banana split!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the park? Because he wanted to slide down the slides in style.
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he wanted to see the big screen from a whole new perspective!
Why did Little Johnny take a nap on the cheese grater? Because he wanted to wake up shredded!
Why did Little Johnny take a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded dough!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he heard the film was supposed to be a real blockbuster!
What did Little Johnny say when his mom asked why he put his shoes in the refrigerator? “Mom, I wanted to have cold feet before going to bed!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he was going to be a big brother? “I guess I’ll have to start practicing my dad jokes!”
What did Little Johnny say when his dad asked why he was standing on a chair near the cookies? “Dad, I just wanted to reach for the stars!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the art gallery? Because he wanted to have a highbrow experience.
Why did Little Johnny wear his glasses to the math test? Because it helps him divide and conquer!
Why did Little Johnny take a nap on the library floor? Because he wanted to sleep like a bookworm!
Why did Little Johnny bring a suitcase full of batteries to school? Because he heard his teacher was always talking about giving the class a charge!
Why did Little Johnny take a ruler to the park? Because he wanted to measure up to everyone’s expectations!

Little Johnny Jokes for Kids

Little Johnny jokes for kids are the sparkly gems of the humor universe—safe, vibrant, and always a huge hit with the little ones.

These jokes promote kids to engage with storytelling and observe the delight of clever twists, cultivating a love for humor that’s as timeless as the character of Little Johnny himself.

Plus, Little Johnny jokes for kids have the unique advantage of turning everyday scenarios into a pool of giggles, making school times, family dinners, or play dates an arena full of laughter.

Ready for some rib-tickling fun?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them rolling with laughter at Little Johnny’s innocent antics:

Why did Little Johnny bring a stool to the party? He wanted to be a little higher than everyone else!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out his teacher was a ghost? “I can see right through her teaching methods!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he couldn’t go to the zoo? “I’m not lion, I really wanted to go!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a fishing rod to the movie theater? Because he heard there were a lot of action-packed films!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the football game? Because he wanted to be the ultimate high scorer!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he was going to be a big brother? “Big brothers are just superheroes in disguise!”
Why did Little Johnny wear a helmet while eating ice cream? Because he was afraid of brain freeze!
Why did Little Johnny bring a spoon to the desert? Because he heard there was a lot of sand-wiches!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ruler to the pool? Because he wanted to see how “long” he could swim!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a squirrel climbing a tree? “I guess the squirrel wants to branch out!”
Why did Little Johnny take a measuring tape to the bakery? Because he wanted to see how much doughnuts weigh!
What did Little Johnny say to his toy robot? “You’re my favorite metal friend!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a basketball to the airport? Because he heard it was time for “air” travel!
Why did Little Johnny bring a mirror to the restaurant? Because he wanted to see how he looked when he ate.
Why did Little Johnny wear a cape to math class? Because he wanted to be a “super” mathematician!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he wanted to see the film from a higher point of view!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to reach for the stars in the classroom!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he couldn’t go to the bakery? “I donut believe it!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he heard books have a lot of stories!
Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to the library? Because he wanted to catch up on his “rest” reading!
What did Little Johnny say to the tree? “You’re so tree-mendous!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a bucket of water to the concert? Because he heard it was a jam session!
What did Little Johnny say to the pencil? “You’re sharp!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bakery? Because he wanted to climb up and taste the cherry on top of the cake!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out it was raining cats and dogs? “I hope I don’t step in a poodle!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a watermelon to the art class? Because the teacher told him to bring a fruit for a still life painting!
Why did Little Johnny take a fishing rod to the baseball game? Because he wanted to catch a fly ball!
Why did Little Johnny take a bucket of water to bed? Because he wanted to sleep like a fish!
Why did Little Johnny bring a fan to the restaurant? Because he wanted to taste the air of success!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to climb up to the clouds and build sandcastles in the sky!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he couldn’t go to the toy store? “That’s just not playing fair!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the playground? Because he wanted to climb up to the clouds and have a swing with the birds!
Why did Little Johnny wear his sunglasses to school? Because his future was so bright!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a squirrel at the park? “Look, a nut that can’t open doors!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a quarter on the ground? “I’m a quarter richer and a whole lot happier!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to climb the bookshelves and reach new heights of knowledge!
What did Little Johnny say when his mom asked if he finished his homework? “I did it mom, but I think my dog ate it… and then the cat ate my dog!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the park? Because he wanted to climb to the top of the tallest tree and yell, “I’m the king of the forest!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to the car race? Because he wanted to take a nap in the fast lane!
Why did Little Johnny bring a mirror to the park? Because he wanted to go on a picnic with himself!
Why did Little Johnny take a pillow to school? Because he wanted to have a nap time championship!
Why did Little Johnny put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted to make some “cold” hard cash!
Why did Little Johnny put his watch in the oven? Because he wanted to have a hot time!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school? Because he heard the classes were on a higher level!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because he wanted to climb up and pick the freshest fruits from the top shelf!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he had to do math homework? “I’m not a mathematician, I’m a magician!”
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a banana peel on the ground? “I’m not slipping for that trick!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the swimming pool? Because he wanted to dive into the deep end from the highest point!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the birthday party? Because he wanted to make sure he reached the top of the cake before anyone else!
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him what comes after 10? “The rest of the numbers!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a spoon to the movie theater? Because he heard it was a “spoon-taneous” comedy!
Why did Little Johnny put his homework in the blender? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Why did Little Johnny bring a suitcase to the amusement park? Because he wanted to pack in the excitement!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a cow playing the piano? “Moo-sic to my ears!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he wanted to watch the movie from the best seat in the house, on top of the screen!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the amusement park? Because he wanted to ride the roller coaster and touch the stars!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to take his sandcastle to the next level!
What did Little Johnny say to his teacher when he didn’t know the answer? “I think I need to go to the restroom!”
Why did Little Johnny take a pencil to bed? In case he needed to draw his dreams.
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he aced his math test? “I’m not surprised, I’m outstanding in my field!”
What did Little Johnny’s math book say to him? “I’ve got problems!”
What did Little Johnny say when asked why he brought a ladder to the park? “To climb up and touch the clouds!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the circus? Because he wanted to ride the trapeze with the acrobats!
Why did Little Johnny bring a spoon to the playground? Because he heard there would be swings and a bowl of cereal!
Why did Little Johnny wear a helmet while eating his lunch? He wanted to protect his brain food.
Why did Little Johnny bring a box of crayons to the party? Because he wanted to color up the fun!
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he had a spelling test? “Yay, I love spelling bee-cause honey is my favorite!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to build a sandcastle on top of the lifeguard tower!
Why did Little Johnny wear his sunglasses to the art museum? Because he wanted to see the “sun” paintings!
Why did Little Johnny bring a pack of cards to the zoo? Because he wanted to play “go fish” with the fish!
What did Little Johnny say when his mom asked him why he was wearing a cape? “Because I’m super at being awesome!”

Little Johnny Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t enjoy a hearty laugh with Little Johnny jokes?

Little Johnny jokes for adults add an extra layer of sophistication and naughtiness to the original Little Johnny humor we all grew up with.

Just like a well-told story, these jokes incorporate elements of humor, wit, and just the right amount of mischief to provide a truly entertaining experience.

These jokes are the perfect ice-breakers for your next social gathering, or simply a fun way to brighten up a dull day at work.

Here are some Little Johnny jokes that are sure to bring out the inner child in every adult:

What did Little Johnny say when he saw his dad watching an adult movie? “Dad, why are you watching a tutorial on how to make babies?”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the school dance? Because he wanted to reach new heights on the dance floor!
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Johnny, why did you take a ladder to bed with you?” Johnny smirked and said, “Well, Dad, I heard you telling Mom that you’re going to climb the corporate ladder, so I thought I should start practicing!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to the restaurant? Because he heard there would be a food fight!
Why did Little Johnny’s teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!
Why did Little Johnny take a shower with a pacemaker? He wanted to clean his battery!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you eat all the cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to make sure they weren’t poisoned!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Why did you take the ladder to school?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I heard my teacher saying she wanted to see me at the top of the class!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to school? Because he thought it was going to be a sleepover party!
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Johnny, what are you doing with your eyes closed in the middle of the living room?” Johnny replied, “Well, Dad, I’m not doing anything. Mom said that you’re a master of hide and seek, so I’m looking for you!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he wanted to sit in the balcony seats, but they were sold out!
What did Little Johnny say when he saw his teacher at the beach in a bikini? “I didn’t know you were a professional swimwear model, Mrs. Johnson!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to school? He heard the teacher was going to put everyone to sleep!
Little Johnny’s mother scolded him, saying, “You’ve been playing video games all day! When I was your age, I used to go outside and play with my friends.” Little Johnny replied, “Well, Mom, times have changed. Nowadays, we have Wi-Fi!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the football game? Because he wanted to climb to new heights and see the game from above!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “Johnny, if you have five apples in one hand and six oranges in the other, what do you have?” Johnny cheekily replied, “Big hands!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had ten candies and you gave five to your friend, what percentage would you give away?” Little Johnny confidently replied, “100%, because I don’t like sharing my candies!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to climb the shelves to find the book “How to Be a Trouble-Maker!”
Why did Little Johnny wear a baseball glove to bed? Because he wanted to catch some Z’s!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny replied, “I want to be a millionaire, just like my dad.” The teacher laughed and said, “Little Johnny, your dad is not a millionaire.” Little Johnny shrugged and replied, “Well, he wants to be!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out his math teacher was on a diet? “She must be counting calories instead of numbers!”
What did Little Johnny say when he saw his dad wearing a clown costume? “I guess you’re trying to be funny outside the office too!”
Why did Little Johnny take a fishing pole to the movie theater? Because he heard they were showing a reel-to-reel film!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he heard the book said it had great stories!
Little Johnny asked his father, “Dad, what is the difference between confident and confidential?” The father replied, “Well, son, you are my son, and I’m confident about that. Your best friend Timmy, he’s also my son, but that’s confidential!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had a dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “One dollar.” The teacher, confused, asked, “You don’t know your math? If you have one dollar and you ask for another, you should have two!” Little Johnny quickly responded, “No, ma’am, I already have a dollar. If I ask my father for another, he will say no!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the art gallery? He wanted to see the masterpieces from a different perspective!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “Johnny, why are you late for class?” Johnny replied, “Well, I saw a sign on my way to school that said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow,’ so I did!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the grocery store? He heard they had a special on top-shelf candy!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the restaurant? Because he wanted to scale up his dining experience!
What did Little Johnny say when he caught his parents wrestling? “Hey, can I join in?”
Little Johnny asked his dad, “Dad, what’s the difference between a pimple and a priest?” His dad, surprised, replied, “I don’t know, what is it?” Johnny grinned and said, “Well, a pimple waits until you’re a teenager to come on your face!”
Why did Little Johnny’s teacher wear sunglasses? Because she didn’t want to recognize him at the parent-teacher conference!
Why did Little Johnny bring a spoon to the bathroom? Because he wanted to feed his toilet a tamale!
Why did Little Johnny’s mom bring him to work? Because she wanted to show her boss what a handful he can be!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you eat the last slice of pizza?” Little Johnny replied, “Because it was a ‘last slice’ challenge, and I won!”
Little Johnny’s mother asked him, “If I had eight apples and I gave you three, how many would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Eight.” Confused, his mother asked, “How do you figure that?” Little Johnny answered, “Because I already have five apples!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put the empty milk carton back in the fridge?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to fool the next person who opened it!”
Why did Little Johnny’s math teacher bring a ladder to class? She wanted to help him reach his full potential!
Why did Little Johnny’s dad always carry a pencil and paper to the bathroom? Because he wanted to solve number 1 and number 2!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? Because he heard the monkeys were on the top of the trees and he wanted to see them up close!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why are you getting bad grades in school?” Little Johnny replied, “Because they make the questions too hard!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? He wanted to get a better view of the “exotic” animals!
Little Johnny’s father asked him, “Why did you get such a low score on your test?” Little Johnny replied, “Because of absence.” The father asked, “You were absent on the day of the test?” Little Johnny smirked and said, “No, the kid who sits next to me was.”>
Why did Little Johnny bring a flashlight to bed? He wanted to see if he could find the light switch in his dreams!
Why did Little Johnny’s mom put him in a freezer? Because she wanted a cool kid!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the concert? Because he heard the music was going to be off the charts!
Why did Little Johnny bury his flashlight? Because it gave him “lightbulb moments”!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? He wanted to climb the social ladder with the monkeys!
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you get an ‘F’ on your math test?” Little Johnny replied, “Because my teacher said I didn’t answer any of the questions correctly!”
Why did Little Johnny get kicked out of the library? He refused to be quiet during storytime and insisted on narrating his own version!
Why did Little Johnny only bring one pencil to class? He heard the teacher said, “Bring a pencil, not a dozen!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the cinema? Because he heard it was an action-packed movie and he didn’t want to miss a single scene!
Little Johnny’s father asked him, “Why did you get an ‘F’ on your math test?” Little Johnny replied, “Dad, I ran out of fingers to count with!”
Little Johnny asked his mom, “Mom, can I have a dollar for a glass of water?” His mom replied, “But Johnny, why do you need a dollar just for water?” Johnny smirked and said, “Well, I overheard Dad telling the neighbor that he’ll make a fortune when you go out of town and he sells water to the pool boy!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out Santa Claus isn’t real? “Well, at least the tooth fairy is still legit!”
Why did Little Johnny wear a watch when he was baking? Because it said it was “time to dough”!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “Can you name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago?” Little Johnny confidently answered, “Me!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many will be left?” Johnny confidently replied, “None, because the others would all fly away due to the sound of the gunshot.” The teacher said, “Well, Johnny, the correct answer is four, but I like the way you think.” Johnny smiled and said, “Well, ma’am, you asked me, not the birds!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the theater? Because he heard it was a stage for great performances!
Why did Little Johnny only wear one sock to school? He heard his teacher say, “Put your best foot forward!”
Why did Little Johnny take a fishing rod to math class? Because he wanted to catch some “math problems” in the classroom pond!
Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Johnny, why did you pour glue all over the TV?” Johnny innocently replied, “Dad, I wanted to watch something that sticks!”
What did Little Johnny say when he lost his job at the calendar factory? “I can’t take days off!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a baseball bat to his music class? He wanted to play “bat-teries”!
Why did Little Johnny bring a water gun to the family reunion? Because he wanted to make sure he was prepared for any “sibling rivalry” water fights!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “How can we prevent diseases caused by biting insects?” Little Johnny replied, “Don’t bite any.”>
Why did Little Johnny take a pillow to church? Because he wanted to pray on something soft!
What did Little Johnny’s teacher say when he asked her to define ‘indefinitely’? “I’m not sure, Little Johnny, but I can promise you it lasts forever!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the theater? Because he heard the movie was rated R for “Really high up”!
Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Why did you put your money in the freezer?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted cold hard cash!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to school? Because his teacher told him to take a nap during the lesson!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the art exhibition? Because he wanted to climb up the ladder of success!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally, and $5 to Susan, what would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “A new bike!”
Why did Little Johnny go to the bank with a ladder? He wanted to reach the “high interest” rates!
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can a person go to jail for something they haven’t done?” The teacher replied, “No, of course not.” Little Johnny smugly said, “Well, good! Because I haven’t done my homework!”
Why did Little Johnny always carry a stopwatch? Because he liked to watch time fly when he was having fun!
Little Johnny asked his dad, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” His dad replied, “No, Johnny, why would you ask such a disgusting question?” Little Johnny said, “Well, there was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone!”
Little Johnny’s mother scolded him, saying, “How many times have I told you not to play with your food?” Little Johnny replied, “But Mom, it’s the only way I can win at dinner battles!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the concert? He heard the band was playing on a higher note!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If you had 10 apples and you gave 5 to your friend, how many apples would you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “None, because I don’t like sharing my apples!”
Little Johnny: “Mom, can I watch TV now?” Mom: “No, Little Johnny. You should be outside playing with your friends.” Little Johnny: “But Mom, all my friends are watching TV!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out his teacher was a boxer? “I hope she doesn’t punch the answers into us!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a baseball bat to the bakery? Because he wanted to hit a “home slice”!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If I gave you two cats and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Seven.” The teacher asked again, “No, listen carefully. If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Little Johnny responded, “Seven.” The teacher, frustrated, said, “Let me put it differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Six.” The teacher sighed and said, “Good, now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Little Johnny grinned, “Seven.” The teacher, now really confused, asked, “How on earth do you get seven?” Little Johnny cheerfully replied, “Because I already have a cat!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Johnny, why are you wearing your shirt inside out?” Johnny replied, “Well, Mom, the tag said ‘Made in China,’ so I wanted people to see it!”
Why did Little Johnny bring his pet snake to school? Because he wanted to see if the teacher could handle a “slippery” situation!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “Johnny, why do you always get so dirty during recess?” Johnny replied, “Well, ma’am, I’m just following in the footsteps of my favorite superheroes – Dirt Man and Mud Girl!”
Why did Little Johnny put his finger in the pencil sharpener? Because he wanted a sharp mind!
Why did Little Johnny refuse to eat his vegetables? Because he thought they were planted by the enemy!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to get a better view of all the fish in the sea!
Why did Little Johnny wear two belts? Because he wanted to hold up his pants and his confidence!
Little Johnny asked his mom, “Can I have a bookmark?” His mom replied, “Sure, I have no idea what you need a bookmark for. The Internet is not a book!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had five apples and I asked you for one, how many would you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “Five.” The teacher was confused and said, “No, you don’t understand, if you give me one, you will have four left.” Little Johnny smiled and said, “That’s correct!”

Little Johnny Joke Generator

Crafting a Little Johnny joke that hits the perfect note of childish innocence and adult humor can be as tricky as avoiding a timeout.

(You know what we mean, right?)

That’s where our FREE Little Johnny Joke Generator comes into play.

Designed to weave mischievous pranks, funny dialogues, and amusing situations, it generates jokes that will surely tickle your funny bone.

Don’t let your humor be as dull as a school detention.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as lively and fun as Little Johnny himself.

FAQs About Little Johnny Jokes

Why are Little Johnny jokes so popular?

Little Johnny jokes have been a staple of humor for generations because they capture the innocence, mischief, and surprising wisdom of childhood.

They’re relatable, offer a good laugh, and highlight the funny moments of growing up.

Can Little Johnny jokes help in social situations?

Certainly!

Little Johnny jokes are great ice-breakers and conversation starters.

They bring laughter and light-heartedness to any gathering.

Remember, humor is a universal language and Little Johnny jokes can easily connect people.

How can I come up with my own Little Johnny jokes?

Think about the common traits of children—their curiosity, innocence, and often unexpected logic.
Reflect on the usual settings for Little Johnny—school, home, and his interactions with adults.
Consider an everyday situation from a child’s perspective. How would Little Johnny react or interpret it?
Use the element of surprise. Little Johnny’s responses often surprise adults because they are unexpectedly witty or insightful.
Don’t forget to keep it light and funny. The best Little Johnny jokes are the ones that make you laugh out loud.