565 Mallard Jokes That Will Have You Diving into Laughter

If you’ve found your way here, it means you’re ready to dive into the world of mallard jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the pick of the flock.

That’s why we’ve rounded up a list of the most hilarious mallard jokes.

From duck-tastic puns to quack-up one-liners, our collection has a joke for every aspect of life.

So, let’s paddle into the pond of mallard humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Mallard Jokes

Mallard jokes are a quacking good time that can bring a chuckle to any bird lover’s face.

These jokes aren’t just about the mallards themselves but also touch on the broader world of waterfowl and nature.

From the distinctive color of the male mallard to their amusing waddling walk, mallards provide plenty of fodder for humor.

Creating the ideal mallard joke involves understanding the bird’s behavior, playing around with puns, and sometimes even indulging in the sheer silliness of ducks.

Don’t be surprised to find jokes about their iconic quack or their penchant for bread crumbs.

Ready to spread your wings and dive into a pond of hilarity?

Waddle into laughter with these mallard jokes:

Why don’t mallards like shopping online? They prefer the thrill of the mall!
Why did the mallard get a job at the bakery? It heard they kneaded a quack-of-all-trades!
What do you call a mallard that’s a stand-up comedian? A quack-up artist!
Why do mallards never see a doctor? Because they quack themselves up!
How did the mallard react when he found a great deal at the store? He went quackers!
How does a mallard make a phone call? By using a “quack” dialer!
Why did the mallard always win at poker? Because it had the best “quack” of cards!
What do you call a mallard with a sore throat? A hoarse duck!
Why did the mallard bring a raincoat to the party? It didn’t want to get webbed feet!
How does a mallard ask for directions? It “quacks” Google Maps!
What did the mallard say when he won the lottery? I’m going to have a quacking good time!
Why was the mallard always the center of attention? Because it had an excellent “quack” of humor!
How does a mallard pay for its shopping? With duckets!
Why did the mallard refuse to wear a mask? Because it didn’t want to “quack” a fashion statement!
Why do mallards make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always “quack” everyone up!
Why don’t mallards like talking to pigeons? Because they always give them the cold shoulder!
Why did the mallard go to the comedy club? It wanted to quack everyone up!
Why did the mallard refuse to pay at the clothing store? He thought everything was too expensive and just said, “Bill me later!”
Why did the mallard bring a parachute to the park? It wanted to try out some quack skydiving!
How do mallards communicate on the internet? They send each other web-quacks!
Why did the mallard always win at poker? It had all the duckets!
What did the mallard say to its friend? “Waddle” you do today?
Why did the mallard go to therapy? It had a “quack” addiction that needed to be addressed!
Why don’t mallards like fast food? Because they prefer slow quack service!
Why did the mallard refuse to share its fries? It was too possessive of its quackers and cheese.
Why did the mallard become a detective? Because it was really good at “quack”ing the case!
How does a mallard ask for a favor? Can you quack me up with a little help?
What do you get when you cross a mallard with a ghost? A “quack”tacular apparition!
What did the mallard say to its ducklings when they misbehaved? “You’re all grounded until you learn to quack nicely!”
What did the mallard say to his friend who was always late? You’re such a slow quacker!
How does a mallard get its hair done? With a duck-torial!
What did the mallard say to its friend at the pond party? “This place is quack-tastic!”
What do you call a mallard with a great sense of humor? A “quack” up artist!
Why did the mallard get kicked out of the shoe store? He was caught trying to loaf around!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the mall? Because he wanted to reach the top shelf quack-ly!
How did the mallard react when it won the lottery? It exclaimed, “I’m quacking rich!”
Why did the mallard refuse to pay for dinner? Because it thought everything should be on the bill!
Why did the mallard join a choir? Because it had a great bill-titude!
Why did the mallard go to the baseball game? It wanted to catch a fly ball!
Why did the mallard refuse to play cards with the other birds? It said, “I don’t want to be a sitting duck!”
What do you call a mallard with a fancy hat? A quack-cessorized duck.
Why did the mallard refuse to share his food? He didn’t want to be a sitting duck for hunger!
Why did the mallard get a job in customer service? Because it was always good at “quacking” a smile!
What do mallards do for fun? They go quackpacking!
How does a mallard like its coffee? With a quack of sugar and a splash of cream!
What’s a mallard’s favorite TV show? Duck Dynasty!
What do you call a mallard that can perform magic tricks? A “quack”titioner!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the store? To quack open a case of chips!
What do you call a mallard that’s addicted to gambling? A lucky duck.
Why did the mallard go to school? To get a “quack”ademic education!
What did the mallard say to its friend at the mall? Let’s go on a quack-venture!
What did the mallard say to its friends when they asked why it was always late? “I always get caught in the duck traffic!”
How does a mallard pay for his purchases? With duck bills, of course!
Why was the mallard always getting into trouble? Because he was a master at quackery.
What do you call a mallard with a law degree? A legal beak!
Why was the mallard always tired? Because it’s always ducking and diving!
How did the mallard get to be so wealthy? It had a “quack” for finding valuable duck treasures!
Why did the mallard get a ticket for jaywalking? It was caught “quack” in the act!
What do you call a mallard that becomes a detective? A quack investigator!
Why did the mallard refuse to share its food? It had a real fowl temper!
What do you get when you cross a mallard and a ghost? A “quack”tastic polter”quack”!
How did the mallard feel after a successful shopping spree? Like a million quacks!
Why did the mallard refuse to join the swim team? It didn’t want to be caught up in quacktice!
How does a mallard buy things online? It uses a bill-ing address!
Why did the mallard return his purchase at the clothing store? It was just too bill-y!
What do you call a fashionable mallard? A dapper ducker!
Why did the mallard go to the therapist? He had a lot of bills to quack about!
Why did the mallard get a job in retail? Because he wanted to work at the Quack Shack!
Why did the mallard become a shopaholic? He couldn’t resist all the great sales and quack-tastic deals!
What did the mallard say when it won the lottery? “I’m going to quack up my life with all this money!”
Why don’t mallards like fast food? They prefer their meals pond-fresh.
What do you call a mallard with a cold? A stuffed-up duck!
What did the mallard say to the noisy neighbor? “You’re really “quacking” me up!”
Why did the mallard bring a feather pillow to the park? So it could have a quack nap!
How did the mallard react when it won the lottery? It exclaimed, “I’m quackers about this lucky duck!” .
Why don’t mallards tell secrets? Because they’re afraid they’ll “quack” under pressure!
Why do mallards never carry cash? Because they prefer to pay with “bill”s!
What did the mallard say to his friend who always forgets things? “Don’t “quack” up, just use a post-it note!”
How did the mallard become a detective? It quacked the case!
Why don’t mallards use computers? They prefer to surf the pond instead.
What’s a mallard’s favorite place in the mall? The feather accessories store!
What did the mallard say to its reflection? “Looking good, quack-tacular!”
What did the mallard say to its partner when they were lost? Duck, duck, where’s our goose?
Why was the mallard always so calm? Because it had mastered the art of “ducking” stress!
What do you call a mallard who loves to play basketball? A slam “quack”!
Why did the mallard refuse to pay its parking ticket? It claimed it was a “fowl” play!
What do you call a mallard that steals your snacks? A quack-robber!
Why did the mallard become a stand-up comedian? Because it always had a knack for “quack”ing up the crowd!
Why do mallards never go to school? Because they are already experts in waddling!
What did the mallard say to its friend who was feeling down? You quack me up!
How do mallards make sure they’re all in a row? They count their “quack” positions!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the pond? Because it heard the water levels were “quack”!
What did the mallard say to his friend at the shopping center? “Let’s waddle around and go quackers together!”
How do mallards stay fit? They always waddle with a purpose.
What did the mallard say to its sibling who always hogged the spotlight? “Stop being such a ducktator!”
Why was the mallard always so calm? It practiced duck yoga!
What do you call a mallard that loves to make people laugh? A funny quacker!
What did the mallard say to his partner after a successful date? “That was some ‘quack’tastic fun!”
How did the mallard become a comedian? He quacked up his audience with his feather-brained jokes!
Why did the mallard go to the shoe store? He wanted to find some new webbed shoes!
What did the mallard say when he won the lottery? “Now I can finally afford a ‘quack’mansion!”
What did the mallard say to its friend who was always late? “You quack me up, but you need to wing it on time!”
Why did the mallard bring a fire extinguisher to the pond? In case it started to quackfire.
Why did the mallard start a band? Because it had the bill to play the guitar!
What did the mallard say to the comedian? “You’re really winging it with those jokes!”
How do mallards invite their friends to a party? They send out duck-larations!
Why did the mallard become an architect? It wanted to design quack-tastic buildings!
What do you call a mallard that can sing? A feathered popstar with quack-tastic vocals!
What did the mallard say when he couldn’t find his favorite store? “I’m in a fowl mood!”

Short Mallard Jokes

Short mallard jokes are like a quick dip in a pond—refreshing, spontaneous, and full of fun ripples.

These jokes are perfect for a quick text to brighten up someone’s day, a social media post to make your followers chuckle, or that moment in a gathering when you need to break the ice.

The charm of short mallard jokes lies in their quirky and quack-y humor, providing a chuckle in just a few words.

And now, get ready to ruffle some feathers!

Here are short mallard jokes that deliver a wing-slapping laugh in just a few words.

What’s a mallard’s favorite sport? Quack-quetball!
How do mallards party? They quack open a bottle of duck-per!
What’s a mallard’s favorite type of weather? Drizzly bear!
How does a mallard say “goodbye” in the winter? Duck you later!
What did the mallard say to his friend? Duck-tastic to see you!
Why did the mallard become a stand-up comedian? For the quacks!
What do you call a duck that loves to sing? A quack-a-doodle-doo!
What do you call a mallard that’s always late? A quackcrastinator!
What’s a duck’s favorite type of money? Duckets!
What did the duck say after telling a joke? “That’s “quack”-tastic!”
Why was the mallard always broke? He kept bill-ing too much!
What’s a mallard’s favorite holiday? “Quack”-sgiving!
Why did the mallard go to the therapist? He had a quack-attack!
How do mallards communicate? They just wing it!
Why did the mallard become an architect? It loves building duck-tures!
What’s a mallard’s favorite exercise? Duck-ercise!
How did the mallard feel after winning the race? Absolutely duck-lightful!
How do mallards communicate secretly? With a duck-coder!
Why was the mallard always asking questions? It was a quackademic!
Why don’t mallards like to go to parties? They’re always ducking out!
What do you call a duck who loves sushi? A “quack”-amole roll!
What do you call a mallard that plays basketball? A slam duck!
Why did the mallard start a band? To play some quackin’ tunes!
How did the mallard celebrate his birthday? With a quacker!
How do mallards handle their money? With duckets!
Why did the mallard go to the therapist? To quack his problems.
How do mallards tell time? With a quack-watch!
What do you call a mallard that loves music? A quack-a-delic duck!
Why was the mallard always on time? It never ducked out!
What do mallard ducks use to fix their homes? “Duck tape”!
Why did the mallard join a gym? To work on his wing-strength!
What do you get when a mallard steals something? A “ducktective” case!
Why was the mallard a terrible comedian? His jokes were fowl!
What did the mallard say when it bought a designer handbag? Quackcessorize!
How do you describe a mallard that tells jokes? “Waddle-arious!”
Why don’t mallards like sharing their food? They’re a bit duckish!

Mallard Jokes One-Liners

Mallard jokes one-liners are the perfect blend of humour wrapped in a single line of wit.

They’re the humoristic equivalent of a mallard’s graceful glide on the water – effortless, sleek, and undeniably charming.

The crafting of an effective one-liner is a balancing act of creativity, wordplay and timing, very much like the mallard’s perfect landing on a serene lake.

The goal is to deliver the setup and the punchline in one compact sentence, packing a quacking good punch of humor with just a few chosen words.

So get ready to ruffle your feathers with laughter, as we dive into these hilarious mallard one-liners:

What did the mallard say to the nosy neighbor? “Mind your own quack-tivities!”
Why don’t mallards like talking on the phone? They prefer webbed calls.
What did the mallard say when his friend asked if he wanted to play cards? “Sure, I’m always up for a quack game!”
How do mallards get around? They drive their quackmobiles.
Why was the mallard always on time? It had a reliable quackwatch!
What do you call a mallard that steals things? A robber ducky!
Why did the mallard refuse to share his food? Because he was a little bit “fowl” with his possessions!
Why did the mallard refuse to pay for the bill at the fancy restaurant? It wanted to keep its duck-ets in a row!
How did the mallard become a successful comedian? It had a “quack” sense of humor!
What did the mallard say to its duck friends at the party? “Let’s quack up the dance floor!”
Why was the mallard always broke? Because he couldn’t stop quackspending.
How do mallards make sure their bills are clean? They use feather dental floss!
Why did the mallard refuse to share its food? It was too duck-licious to give away.
What did the mallard detective say when he solved the case? It’s quack-tastic!
Why did the mallard get in trouble? Because he was caught jay-walking!
Why did the mallard bring a parachute to the party? In case it wanted to “duck” out early.
Why did the mallard go to the bank? To get some bills quacked.
What do you call a mallard with a musical talent? A “billboard” chart-topper!
What did the mallard say to his friends when he won the lottery? “I’m going to buy a quack shack!”
Why did the mallard bring an umbrella to the pond? Because the weather forecast quacked for rain!
What’s a mallard’s favorite snack? Quackers and cheese!
Why don’t mallards like talking on the phone? They always get a bad reception- quackling!
What do you call a mallard who is a master of disguise? A quack-tical joker!
What did one mallard say to the other when they won a race? “We really quacked the competition!”
Why was the mallard always invited to parties? It was such a quacker!
What do you call a mallard with a PhD? A quackademic.
What did the mallard say when it bumped into a duck? “Sorry, it was a case of fowl play!”
Why did the mallard become a detective? It wanted to solve the mystery of the missing breadcrumbs!
What did the mallard say when it got a compliment? “You quack me up!”
Why did the mallard start a band? Because he wanted to be the “quack-star” of the show!
What do you call a mallard with a low IQ? A dum-duck!
Why did the mallard bring a credit card to the pond? It wanted to go on a quack-spending spree!
Why did the mallard refuse to play cards? Because it was afraid of getting caught in a “duck of spades” situation.
Why was the mallard always late for work? It had trouble finding its billfold.
What did the mallard say to the waiter? “I’ll have the quack-amole, please!”
What do you call a mallard with a sunburn? A crispy quacker!
Why did the mallard get a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded the dough!
What do you call a mallard who loves math? A “quacktitioner”
What did the mallard say when he bumped into a duck wearing sunglasses? “Nice quackcessories!”
How did the mallard become a famous actor? It landed a leading quack-tor role!
Why was the mallard always chosen as team captain? It had excellent “quack-leadership” skills!
Why did the mallard get a job as a comedian? It had a great sense of quack-tor!
Why did the mallard wear a crown? Because he wanted to be the quack of the castle!
Why did the mallard bring a suitcase to the pond? Because he was ready for a quick getaway!
Why did the mallard start a band? It wanted to be a “bill”board-topping sensation!
Why did the mallard bring a suitcase to the party? He wanted to quack a good impression!
Why did the mallard become a chef? Because he wanted to make quackamole!
What’s a mallard’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop! Quack and roll!
Why did the mallard become a comedian? Because it had great quack-timing!
Why did the mallard start a band? It wanted to quack out some catchy tunes!
Why did the mallard get kicked out of the comedy club? It was too fowl-mouthed!
What’s a mallard’s favorite movie? The Ducktator!
Why did the mallard go to the therapist? Because it was feeling a bit down!
Why did the mallard refuse to wear a tuxedo? It preferred to go “quack”-casual!
Why did the mallard go to law school? He wanted to become a legal quack-titioner.
Why did the mallard win the race? He had a lot of quack-tor skills.
What did the mallard say to his friend? “Duck and cover, there’s a quack attack!”
Why did the mallard join a band? He was a master at playing the duckulele!
Why did the mallard refuse to play cards with the other birds? He couldn’t handle the duck face!
Why did the mallard bring a watermelon to the party? Because he wanted to make a splash with his fruit salad!
How do mallards communicate on the internet? They use duck-tionary.
Why did the mallard become a comedian? Because he always had a lot of fowl jokes!
What did the mallard say to the detective? “I’m not guilty, I’m innocent… I’m just a sitting duck!”
What do you call a mallard with no feathers? “Bare-duck” essentials!
What did the mallard say to his friend? “I’m feeling a bit down, I think I need a quack-titioner.”
How do mallards stay fit? They waddle a lot and do duck-ercise.
Why did the mallard get in trouble at school? Because he was always quacking jokes in class!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the party? Because he heard it was a high quack-ity event.
What do you call a mallard that steals from other ducks? A feathered felon!
How did the mallard become a champion boxer? It had a mean left hook!
How do mallards pay for their bills? With their “quack”count!
Why did the mallard get kicked out of the library? It refused to keep its “quacks” down!
Why did the mallard become a chef? It had a knack for making a duck-licious cuisine!
Why did the mallard join a dance class? It wanted to learn the “quackstep!”
Why did the mallard go to therapy? Because he quacked under pressure.
Why did the mallard become a politician? It wanted to be a “quacktivist” for change!
Why did the mallard go to the bank? It wanted to see its bills quacked up!
Why don’t mallards tell secrets? They’re afraid of spreading quack rumors.
Why did the mallard refuse to play cards with the other ducks? He was afraid of getting a bad “quack”!
Why did the mallard become a comedian? It had the best duck-tionary of puns.
Why don’t mallards like computers? They find it hard to navigate the webbed!
Why was the mallard always the life of the party? It had a great sense of duck-humor.
What did the mallard say to his friend who was always late? You really need to start ducking your responsibilities!
What do you call a mallard that loves fashion? A trend-setting quacker!
How do mallards communicate while flying? They use “quack-phones”!
Why was the mallard always happy? Because it always looked on the bright side of life!
Why was the mallard always grumpy? Because he had a fowl temper!
What do you call a mallard with a bad attitude? A sour quacker!
Why don’t mallards use computers? They prefer to quack into typewriters!
Why did the mallard join a gym? It wanted to build up its wing muscles!
What did the mallard say when he got a job at a bakery? “I loaf it here!”
Why did the mallard always carry a pencil and paper? Because he liked to draw attention to himself!
What did the mallard do when he won the lottery? He went on a quackspensive shopping spree!
What did the mallard say to the chef who cooked it? “You’ve quacked your last meal!”
What’s a mallard’s favorite movie genre? “Quacktion” films!
What did the mallard say to the suspicious squirrel? “I’m not a sitting duck, you know!”
How does a mallard apologize? It says, “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to quack you up!”

Mallard Dad Jokes

Mallard dad jokes are the perfect splash of pun and wit that will undoubtedly leave you quacking with laughter or groaning in good-natured disbelief.

These jokes are so punny, they might just fly over your head.

Perfect for birdwatchers, nature lovers, or anyone who appreciates a good chuckle, these jokes are sure to bring some amusement to your day.

Get ready for the inevitable eye-rolls and the chuckles.

Dive right into these Mallard dad jokes that are guaranteed to quack you up:

Why did the mallard refuse to join the fancy party? He didn’t want to be just another duck-torated attendee!
Why don’t mallards like to tell secrets? Because they’re always afraid of a little birdie tweeting it!
How do mallards know if they’re invited to a party? They receive a “quack”cceptance letter!
What do you get when you cross a mallard and a detective? A quack inspector!
Why did the mallard go to acting school? Because it wanted to be a quack-tor!
What did the mallard say when it finished shopping? “That was a quacking good time!”
Why did the mallard go to school? It wanted to get a higher quack-ucation!
What do you call a mallard that plays guitar? A strum-duck!
What did the mallard say when he was asked for directions? “Just follow my quack!”
How does a mallard ask for directions? He quacks the nearest pedestrian for help!
How does a mallard ask for a treat? Can I have some quackers, please?
Why did the mallard start a fight? Because he didn’t want to be a sitting duck.
Why did the mallard always carry a mirror? Because he wanted to see his “bill” reflection!
Why did the mallard become a comedian? Because it always knew how to quack up an audience!
Why was the mallard always calm and collected? Because it had everything under quack-trol!
Why did the mallard refuse to join the ballet class? He didn’t want to be a “tu-tu” duck!
Why did the mallard go to acting school? He wanted to perfect his “duck face” for all the selfies!
Why was the mallard always late for work? Because it had a duck-alarm clock.
Why did the mallard go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little “fowl”!
How does a mallard ask for a loan? He says, “Can you help me out? I’m a bit short on bills!”
Why did the mallard go to school? To get his “quack-edemic” degree!
Why did the mallard go to rehab? Because he was addicted to quack.
Why are mallards so good at math? Because they always know how to divide and conquer!
What do you call a mallard with a fancy hat? A “quack” of all trades!
Why did the mallard enroll in cooking classes? He wanted to learn how to make a mean quack and cheese.
How do mallards communicate when they’re far away? They use duck-tal signals!
Why don’t mallards like fast food? Because they prefer to quack a healthy meal!
Why did the mallard always carry a map? Because he was afraid of getting lost in the quack-woods.
What did the mallard say when he bumped into a wall? “I quack myself up!”
What did the mallard say to his friend who couldn’t find his bill? “Don’t worry, I’ll help you duck-tape it back!”
Why did the mallard join the band? Because he had a “bill” for music!
Why did the mallard get kicked out of the shopping center? It couldn’t stop saying “quack” to everyone!
Why do mallards make great comedians? Because they always have a quack-tastic punchline!
Why did the mallard bring a map to the park? Because he wanted to “wing” it and explore!
Why did the mallard start a band? Because it wanted to make some duck-stinctive music!
Why did the mallard refuse to pay for its meal? Because it thought the bill was just a quack!
What did the mallard say when he bumped into a wall? “I’m sorry, I didn’t see it quack-oming!”
Why did the mallard go to therapy? Because he had some deep-seated quack-issues!
How does a mallard get around town? By waddle-ing!
What did the mallard say when he won the lottery? “I guess I’ve got a lot of “duckets” now!”
Why did the mallard join a band? Because it had a great beak for playing the trumpet!
What do you call a mallard that tells jokes? A hilarious quackster!
What did the mallard say to the ducklings when they misbehaved? “You better quack down and behave!”
What did the mallard say when it won a race? “I quack-ed the finish line!”
Why did the mallard get into a fight with the seagull? Because he said he was the “quack” of all trades!
How do mallards stay fit? They always “wing” it when it comes to exercise!
Why did the mallard become a fashion model? It always knew how to work the “duckface”!
What do you call a mallard who loves to dance? A quack-tastic ballerina!
How does a mallard stay fit? By doing lots of duck-ups and quack-squats!
Why was the mallard a successful comedian? Because he always had the “quacks”!
How did the mallard react when it heard a funny joke? It couldn’t help but burst into quackers!
Why did the mallard become a librarian? It wanted to be surrounded by quack-tionary books!
What did the mallard say to his friend at the party? “Lettuce celebrate and quack open some jokes!”
Why did the mallard go to therapy? Because it had too many quack-ups!
Why did the mallard get a job as a detective? Because it had a knack for quack-ing the case!
Why don’t mallards like computers? Because they prefer webbed feet!
Why did the mallard become an actor? It wanted to be in the spotlight and win a Golden Quack!
What do you call a mallard that’s a master chef? Quack-a-roon!
Why did the mallard go to the library? It wanted to find some good duck-umentaries!
What do you call a mallard that’s a great singer? A ducktastic crooner.
Why was the mallard always stressed? Because he was always feeling ducked out.
How do you know when a mallard is telling a joke? When you hear his “quack” of laughter!
Why did the mallard join a gym? He wanted to stay “fit” for flying!
Why did the mallard become a detective? Because he always had a keen “bill” for clues!
What do you call a group of mallards that perform in a band? A quack-tet!
What do you call a mallard who likes to play hide-and-seek? A duck-ster!
Why did the mallard go to therapy? Because it had a lot of emotional baggage!
Why don’t mallards like fast food? Because they can’t catch it.
Why did the mallard join a gym? It wanted to get its wings in shape for the duckathlon!
Why did the mallard become an artist? It wanted to paint the town red… or maybe just its feathers.
Why did the mallard refuse to pay for parking? It wanted to quack-cessorize for free!
Why did the mallard go to school? Because he wanted to improve his quackademic skills!
What do you call a mallard that’s always on time? A quacktual punctual!
Why did the mallard start a new business? Because he wanted to make some “duckets”!
What did the mallard say when it won the lottery? I’m going to buy a quack-tastic mansion!
Why did the mallard get a parking ticket? It was caught quacking in a no-quack zone.
What do you call a clever mallard? A wise quacker!
Why do mallards make great comedians? Because they always know how to quack up an audience!
Why did the mallard bring an umbrella to the party? In case there was “fowl” weather!
Why don’t mallards like sharing their food? Because they’re a bit on the “ducktatorial” side!
What do you call a mallard that steals all the candy? A “quack” addict!
Why don’t mallards like fast food? Because they can’t catch anything faster than a quack-Donald’s burger.
Why do mallards never argue? They always find a way to wing it!
What do you call a mallard that’s a great dancer? The Quackin’ King!
Why did the mallard join the circus? He wanted to be a “quackrobat”!
What’s a mallard’s favorite type of store? A “quacker-y” shop!
Why was the mallard always late for work? Because he always had to duck traffic!
What did the mallard say when it won the lottery? “I’m going to fly first-class and live the quack of luxury!”
Why did the mallard bring a compass to the park? It didn’t want to be caught in a duck-lemma!
What did one mallard say to the other when they saw a fly? “Quick, let’s wing it!”
Why did the mallard go to the mall? It heard there was a “duck-tacular” sale!
What did the mallard say when someone asked him if he wanted a pizza? “No thanks, I’m already stuffed with quackers!”
How do mallards stay in shape? They quackercise every day and make sure to eat their quack-a-mole!
Why did the mallard always carry a pen and paper? Because it loved taking quack-tion notes!
What did the mallard detective say to the suspect? You better fess up, or it’s gonna be a fowl play!
Why did the mallard get a ticket at the park? Because it was caught jay-walking!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the party? Because he wanted to quack a joke on the highest perch.
What did the mallard say to the other ducks at the party? Let’s quack and roll!
What do you call a mallard who became a detective? A private in-duck-tive.
Why don’t mallards ever get arrested? Because they always fly under the quack radar!
Why did the mallard get a parking ticket? Because it didn’t have any duckets!
Why did the mallard get in trouble at school? He was caught passing a “fowl” note!
What do you call a mallard that’s a great musician? A quack-tacular artist.
Why did the mallard get a job as a lawyer? It was great at quack-tioning witnesses!
How do you know when a mallard is feeling sick? It starts to feel a bit “fowl”
What did the mallard say when he lost his wallet? “I hope nobody “bills” me for this!”
What did the mallard wear to the fancy party? A quack-tail dress!
Why did the mallard become a comedian? Because it always had a quack for every occasion!
Why was the mallard always so calm? Because it knew how to keep its ducks in a row!
What did the mallard say to his friend who was feeling down? “Don’t worry, be “quack-y”!
Why was the mallard always confident? Because it knew how to waddle with style!
Why did the mallard join a gym? It wanted to get a little ducked up!
Why did the mallard always carry a pencil? It liked to draw a lot of attention!
What did the mallard say when it bumped into a tree? “I’m just winging it!”
Why did the mallard bring a suitcase to the pond? Because it wanted to travel in style!
Why did the mallard become a comedian? He loved to crack everyone up with his webbed sense of humor!
What did the mallard say to its partner when it proposed? “Duck you marry me?”
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the pond? Because he heard the fish were “off the hook”!
How does a mallard style its feathers? With a “quack” of fashion!
Why did the mallard get a promotion at work? Because he always quacked under pressure!
Why did the mallard start a bakery? Because it wanted to quack some delicious pastries!
Why was the mallard sent to detention? Because he couldn’t stop waddling in class.
What did the mallard say to its sibling when they were being too loud? “Feather down!”
Why did the mallard refuse to join the bird choir? Because it didn’t want to be a mere background quacker!

Mallard Jokes for Kids

Mallard jokes for kids are the quacking good fun of the joke world—harmless, amusing, and always popular with the little ones.

These jokes inspire kids to engage with language and appreciate the hilarity of wordplay, cultivating a fondness for humor that’s as lively as the ducks themselves.

What’s more, mallard jokes for kids have the unique advantage of sparking interest in nature and wildlife, turning these feathery friends into a source of fun and laughter.

Ready to dive into some light-hearted entertainment?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them quacking up with laughter:

What did the mallard say to its friend when it won a race? “I’m not just fast, I’m quack-tastic!”
How do you know if a mallard is hiding something? It acts very ducktive!
What do you call a mallard that likes to dance? A quacktastic mover!
Why did the mallard bring an umbrella to the pond? In case of drizzle and quack-storms!
Why do mallards never seem to be stressed out? Because they always have their ducks in a row!
What’s a mallard’s favorite dessert? Pudding with a quack of sugar on top!
Why did the mallard cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why don’t mallards use smartphones? Because they already have a “quack” phone!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the mall? To reach the high quack shelves!
Why don’t mallards ever tell secrets? Because they’re always “quack”ing jokes!
What is a mallard’s favorite sport? Quack-erjack!
How do mallards call each other on their phones? With a duck-torial tone!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the pond? To quack up the high diving competition!
How do you know if a mallard is happy? It always has a smile on its bill!
What do you call a mallard that can play musical instruments? A quack-musician!
What do you get when you cross a mallard with a ghost? A duck that goes, “Boo-quack!”
Why did the mallard bring a ruler to the pond? Because he wanted to see how many inches he grew overnight!
What do you get when you cross a mallard with a computer? A quack-tional scientist!
Why did the mallard join a choir? It wanted to be a quackapella singer!
What do you call a mallard that plays music? A duck with perfect pitch!
Why don’t mallards tell secrets? Because they’re always talking in billboards!
Why did the mallard take acting classes? Because it wanted to be in the next “Duck-tatorship” movie!
Why did the mallard join a band? Because it had the best quack-percussion skills!
What do you call a mallard that likes to surf? A quack-ridin’ duck!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the pond? Because he wanted to “quack” the code to get in!
What did one mallard say to the other when they were lost? “I quack-ly need a map!”
What did the mallard say to its friend at the pond? Let’s stick together, quack team!
Why did the mallard refuse to fly south for the winter? Because it didn’t want to quack up its frequent flier miles!
What do you call a mallard that steals from a store? A “shop-duck-er”!
What did the mallard say to its friends at the pond party? “Lettuce celebrate and have a quacking good time!”
Why did the mallard start a band? Because he had a lot of quack-talent!
What do mallards wear to parties? Feathers and “quack”tail attire!
Why was the mallard sitting on a clock? He wanted to be on “duck time”!
How do mallards communicate with each other? They use duck-tionaries!
How do mallards talk to each other? They just wing it!
What did the mallard say to the owl? “Quack-a-doodle-doo!”
What did the mallard say when he bumped into a duck? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to duck you!”
How does a mallard ask for directions? It uses a quack-ulator!
Why did the mallard go to the doctor? Because he had a case of the quacks!
What’s a mallard’s favorite type of math? Quack-uations!
What do you get when you cross a mallard with a reindeer? A “quack”er with a red nose!
Why did the mallard bring a map to the lake? To find his way back to quack-ville!
Why do mallards always fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
What do you get when you cross a mallard with a firework? Quackers and sparks!
What did the mallard say when it bought a new hat? “I look ducky!”
What do you call a mallard that’s a fantastic musician? A quack star!
Why did the mallard bring a feather to the party? In case there was a quack attack!
Why was the mallard always calm? Because it had its ducktor’s prescription for quackiness!
Why did the mallard bring a pencil to the pond? To draw a quack-tastic masterpiece!
What did one mallard say to the other when they were about to fly south for the winter? “Quack you later!”
What did the mama mallard say when her ducklings misbehaved? “You’re all grounded, no more flying for a week!”
Why did the mallard go to the mall? It wanted to do some “beak” shopping!
What do you call a mallard that likes to play pranks? A “quack”ster!
Why did the mallard bring a map to the pond? Because it wanted to find its way around the quack!
What did the mallard say to the duckling when it bumped into him? “Sorry, it was just a quack-cident!”
How do mallards talk to each other? With duck-tape!
What kind of music do mallards listen to? Duck and roll!
Why did the mallard bring an umbrella to the pond? In case it started drizzling quacks!
Why did the mallard sit on the clock? It wanted to be on the quack of time!
What do mallards use to fix their feathers? A quack-saw!
Why don’t mallards like playing cards? Because they’re afraid of ducks being wild!
Why did the mallard bring a pencil to the pond? It wanted to draw a quack-ture-perfect scene!
Why did the mallard go to acting school? Because it wanted to become a big star in a quackbuster movie.
What do you call a mallard that likes to tell jokes? A quack-up comedian!
How did the mallard become a famous comedian? It quacked everyone up with its hilarious jokes!
Why don’t mallards like to play hide-and-seek? Because they’re always spotted!
What do you call a mallard that can play the piano? A quack-thentic musician!
Why did the mallard go to school? To become an egg-cellent quacker!
Why did the mallard bring an umbrella to the pond? Because it heard there would be showers of quacks!
How do mallards stay in shape? They do duck-ups and quackercise!
Why don’t mallards like to tell secrets? Because they’re afraid of leaking them out!
What do you get if you cross a mallard and a cow? A duck that says, “Moo!”
Why did the mallard go to the movie theater? To watch a duck-umentary!
What do mallards say when they’re finished with a meal? That hit the bill!
What do mallards like to watch on TV? “Duck”umentaries!
What do you call a mallard with no wings? A low-flying quacker!
What did the mallard say to the turtle? Quack up, slowpoke!
Why did the mallard bring a map to the pond? Because he didn’t want to get “a-fowl” of his destination!
What do you get when a mallard tells a joke? A duck-umentary!
Why did the mallard always carry a pencil to the pond? It wanted to “quack” some notes!
Why did the mallard go to the mall? To get a new bill!
Why did the mallard become an actor? Because he loved playing “quack-tions” in front of an audience!
What do you call a group of mallards that sings? A “quack”-apella choir!

Mallard Jokes for Adults

Who says grown-ups can’t quack up at a good mallard joke?

Mallard jokes for adults elevate humor to the next level, merging elegant wit with a sprinkle of audaciousness.

Just like a mallard’s stunning plumage, these jokes blend elements of amusement, intelligence, and a hint of mischief to create an unforgettable chuckle.

These jokes are perfect for social gatherings, lakeside picnics, or simply to infuse some lightness into a serious discussion among friends.

Here are some mallard jokes that are primed and ready for adults:

Why did the mallard refuse to pay for its meal? It said it didn’t have any duckets!
Why did the mallard refuse to date the woodpecker? Because he didn’t want to be with someone who would peck on him all the time!
Why did the mallard bring a map to the restaurant? He wanted to find the quack location!
Why did the mallard bring a stopwatch to the race? To see if it could beat the ducktionary record!
Why did the mallard get kicked out of the comedy club? His jokes were just too “fowl” for the audience!
What did the mallard say to his friend who was having a bad day? “Don’t worry, things will start looking up, just like my tail feathers!”
Why did the mallard refuse to buy anything at the mall? It was saving up for a duck-pad!
What do you get when you cross a mallard with a computer? A duck that quacks up when it crashes!
How does a mallard ask for directions? It says, “Can you point me in the right quack-tion?”
What do you call a mallard who is a professional singer? A quackstar!
Why was the mallard always the life of the party? Because he knew how to quack everyone up!
What’s a mallard’s favorite subject in school? Feather-istics!
How did the mallard feel after winning the lottery? It was “quacking” up with joy!
Why did the mallard go to therapy? He had a lot of quacks to work through!
Why do mallards never get lost? Because they always have their duck-uments!
What do you call a mallard who is always on a diet? A quack-vegan!
Why did the mallard refuse to share its food? It didn’t want to be caught in a duckumentary!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
Why do mallards never go to church? They already have their own duck-stool!
What did the mallard say to the fashion designer? “I’m the trendsetter of the duck world, feathers up!”
What did the mallard say when it won the marathon? “I guess I really flew past the competition!”
What did the mallard say to the waiter when he brought the bill? “Put it on my bill, quack-quack!”
What did the mallard say to its friend at the fancy restaurant? “Quack-tastic ambiance, isn’t it?”
Why did the mallard always carry an umbrella? Because he was afraid of drake weather!
What do you call a mallard with no sense of direction? A confused quacker!
What did the mallard say to the comedian? “You’re so funny, you quack me up!”
What do you call a mallard who likes to play tricks on other ducks? A “quackster”!
Why did the mallard always bring a pencil to the pond? So he could draw his “quack”tastic ideas!
How do mallards stay fit? They do quack-robics every day!
Why did the mallard get kicked out of the ballet class? It couldn’t stop quack-a-lacking!
Why did the mallard go to therapy? It had some deep-seated feather issues!
What did the mallard say to his friend who was always late? “You quack me up, you’re always ducking in late!”
Why don’t mallards like fast food? Because they prefer to waddle their way to a fine dining experience!
Why was the mallard always winning at poker? It had a great “poker face” with its bill!
Why did the mallard get kicked out of the library? It was caught ducktaping the books!
What did the mallard say when it won the lottery? “I’m feeling like a million feathers!”
Why did the mallard start a detective agency? Because it wanted to quack the case wide open!
Why did the mallard start a comedy club? It wanted to give the crowd some quacktacular entertainment!
What did the mallard detective say to the suspect? “You’re all quacked up!”
Why don’t mallards like fast food? They prefer to waddle through the mall instead!
What did the mallard say when it was offered a job? “I’m ready to quack some serious business!”
What do you call a mallard that plays the piano? A quacktitioner!
Why did the mallard become an actor? Because it wanted to be a star in its own pond-emonium!
What did the mallard say when he won the lottery? “I’m definitely quackers about this!”
Why did the mallard wear sunglasses to the party? It didn’t want to be recognized as a quacker!
What did the mallard say to the duck who stole its bread? “You’re a real quackster!”
What did the mallard say to his friend at the party? “Hey, can you quack a joke?”
How do you know a mallard is having a bad day? He’s feeling a little downy!
What did one mallard say to the other when they crossed the road? “Why did you quack in the middle? You could have gone wing to wing!”
How did the mallard apologize for being late? It said, “I’m really sorry, I got caught in traffic… on the flyway!”
What’s a mallard’s favorite type of movie? A quacktion film!
Why was the mallard always broke? It had a bad habit of splurging on duckcessories!
What did the mallard say when its friend asked for fashion advice? “You better duck out of here!”
Why did the mallard get kicked out of the shopping center? It was caught shoplifting quackers!
Why did the mallard join a gym? He wanted to be the biggest duck in the pond!
Why did the mallard bring a thermometer to the pond? It wanted to check if the water was quack-tually warm!
Why did the mallard refuse to pay for the meal at the fancy restaurant? Because he thought it was too “duck”pensive!
What did the mallard say to its partner after a romantic evening? “You quack me up!”
Why did the mallard refuse to join the dating app? It was already a quack!
Why don’t mallards ever get lost? Because they always have their duck compass on hand!
Why was the mallard banned from the theater? It kept saying “quack” instead of “quacktion!”
What did the mallard say to the other duck? “I’m quackers about you!”
Why did the mallard start a clothing line? It wanted to show off its feathers-tastic style!
Why do mallards make great detectives? They always have a keen “quack” of the case!
Why did the mallard bring a map to the pond? Because it didn’t want to get lost in the quack-erness!
What did the mallard say to his partner on their anniversary? You quack me up!
Why did the mallard bring a pencil to the party? In case he wanted to draw some quack-tastic pictures!
Why did the mallard refuse to join the circus? It didn’t want to be a sitting duck for all those jokes!
What did the mallard say to its friend who was always late? “You’re always running behind, it’s time to quack up!”
Why did the mallard always carry a pen and paper? It was a quack-scribe!
Why did the mallard wear a raincoat to the mall? It wanted to make a fashionable splash!
What do you call a group of mallards playing music together? A quack band!
How does a mallard ask for a loan? It puts its bill on the line and says, “Can I get a quack-advance?”
Why did the mallard go to therapy? It had a case of “quack-tile dysfunction”!
Why did the mallard bring a book to the pond? It wanted to dive into a good tail-feather!
Why did the mallard enroll in a cooking class? Because it wanted to learn how to make a great duck confit!
Why did the mallard refuse to join the swim team? He didn’t want to get sucked into a quack race!
What do you call a mallard’s favorite TV show? Duck Dynasty!
What’s a mallard’s favorite type of TV show? A “quack”-tion series!
How does a mallard order a drink at the bar? “Quacker, please!”
What did the mallard say when it won the lottery? “I’m quackers with excitement!”
Why are mallards always calm? Because they quack under pressure!
Why did the mallard refuse to join the theater group? It didn’t want to be typecast as a quack actor!
How did the mallard get into trouble with the law? It was caught for excessive fowl play!
Why don’t mallards like computers? They find it too quack-y!
How do mallards like to pay for their purchases? With a duck-ling card!
Why did the mallard refuse to share its food? It was too possessive and didn’t want to “quack” up a meal!
Why don’t mallards like computers? They always get stuck at the “quack” screen!
What did the mallard say to its friend? Let’s have a quack-tastic day!
What did the mallard say to his girlfriend when she asked him to stop playing video games? “Just one more level, I promise, quack-tually!”
What did the mallard say to its therapist? “I’m tired of everyone saying I have duck face!”
Why did the mallard get in trouble at school? It couldn’t stop talking during quack time!
Why did the mallard refuse to pay for his meal? He thought the bill was just “fowl play”!
What do you call a mallard that’s a spy? James Pond!
Why did the mallard get a job in customer service? Because it’s great at handling complaints with its bill!
Why do mallards make good detectives? They always have their bills on the case!
What do you call a mallard who always tells great jokes? A “quack-up” artist!
What do you call a mallard who loves to tell jokes? A quackster comedian!
Why did the mallard bring an umbrella to the pond? In case it quacked a smile and made it rain!
Why did the mallard become an artist? He wanted to paint the town duck!
What did the mallard say to his friend after a long day of swimming? “I’m so ducking tired!”
How did the mallard propose to his girlfriend? With a quack-entines day card!
What do you call a mallard that’s always telling jokes? A funny quacker!
How do mallards communicate with each other? By using their feather-phones!
Why did the mallard join a singing competition? It wanted to show off its “quack-tastic” voice!
Why did the mallard bring a ladder to the pond? Because he wanted to reach new heights in his quack-tivities!
Why was the mallard unhappy with its new job? It felt like it was just winging it!
Why don’t mallards use cell phones? They prefer to have a good old-fashioned “quack” conversation!
Why did the mallard become a teacher? It wanted to quack some knowledge into its students!
Why did the mallard start a band? Because he wanted to become a famous “quack” star!
What do you call it when a mallard throws a party? A quack-tacular event!

Mallard Joke Generator

Quacking up a good mallard joke can sometimes seem like you’re paddling upstream.

(Did you catch that pun?)

That’s when our FREE Mallard Joke Generator swoops in to save the day.

Engineered to mix sly puns, witty humor, and playful phrases, it creates jokes that are guaranteed to ruffle feathers with laughter.

Don’t let your humor get stuck in the muck.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as fresh and lively as a mallard in spring.

FAQs About Mallard Jokes

Why are mallard jokes so popular?

Mallard jokes are popular because they incorporate elements of humor related to a well-known and frequently observed waterfowl.

They are a fun, light-hearted way of enjoying these beautiful birds, often using puns or plays on words associated with their behavior or characteristics.

Can mallard jokes help in social situations?

Yes, indeed!

Mallard jokes can be a great ice breaker or a fun addition to casual conversations.

They are likely to bring a smile to people’s faces and can make any gathering lively and entertaining.

How can I come up with my own mallard jokes?

Get to know the typical characteristics and behaviors of mallards—their quacking, the colorful plumage of the males, their common habitats, etc.
Mallards have specific terms related to them (e.g., drake, duckling, flock). Try to find humor or puns within these words.
Imagine different scenarios or settings for your joke. Could it be a funny incident at a pond? Or a conversation between two mallards?
Try to incorporate well-known phrases or sayings, but with a mallard twist.
Don’t shy away from puns and wordplay. Mallard jokes are a perfect platform for some quack-tacular humor!

Are there any tips for remembering mallard jokes?

One way to remember mallard jokes is to associate them with scenarios where you might observe these birds—such as a day at the park, watching a nature documentary, or during a conversation about wildlife.

Connecting the jokes with these situations can help you recall them more easily.