959 Muggle Jokes to Enchant Every Hogwarts House Party

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to tap into the world of Muggle jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the most magical of the lot.

That’s why we’ve concocted a list of the most hilarious Muggle jokes.

From wizardly witticisms to enchanting one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every non-magical moment.

So, let’s dive into the bewitching world of Muggle humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Muggle Jokes

Muggle jokes offer a magical blend of humor for all Harry Potter fans and even those unfamiliar with the wizarding world.

They’re not just about the non-magic folk themselves but also playfully poke fun at the contrasting cultures of the wizarding and muggle worlds.

From misunderstood spells to the comical confusion of muggles encountering magical phenomenons, these jokes are a delightful way to revisit the beloved Harry Potter universe.

Creating the perfect muggle joke requires a mix of wit, surprise, and a sprinkle of Harry Potter knowledge.

Whether it’s about a muggle struggling to understand Quidditch or the amusing thought of a muggle accidentally attending Hogwarts, there’s always a punchline that will bewitch you.

Ready to have a magical time?

Grab your wand and let’s dive into the enchanting world of muggle jokes:

How do Muggles make a quill write? They give it a stern talking to and threaten to throw it in the trash!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard teleporting? “Well, that was apparatingly impressive!”
What did the muggle say to his wizard friend who kept losing his wand? “You really need to ‘get a grip’ on things!”
Why did the muggle ask the wizard for a broomstick? He thought it was a new kind of vacuum cleaner!
Why did the muggle visit the Quidditch pitch? Because they wanted to see if the players were “snitches” or not!
Why did the muggle run away from the wizard? Because he couldn’t handle the sheer wand-er of magic!
Why did the muggle bring a cauldron to the coffee shop? They wanted a grande “brew” of coffee!
Why don’t muggles use Floo powder? Because they prefer to keep their fireplace strictly for s’mores!
What do you call a Muggle who can’t control their magic? A Hogwarts disaster!
How do you confuse a muggle? Put them in a room with a wand and tell them to wave goodbye!
Why did the muggle go to the wand shop? To buy a “point and flick” camera!
What do you call a muggle who is great at making potions? A “muggle-mixer”!
Why did the muggle bring a fan to the wizard’s duel? They wanted to blow their opponents away!
How do Muggles find their way to Diagon Alley? They use Google Maps.
Why did the muggle go to the doctor? He had a case of Harry Potter-itis – he couldn’t stop saying “Expelliarmus”!
Why did the muggle go to the potion shop? Because they wanted to buy a “no-magic” potion to cure their clumsiness!
Why don’t muggles make good chefs? Because they can’t “spell” ingredients correctly!
How do muggles make their broomsticks fly? They use a “vacuum cleaner” charm!
Why did the Muggle try to catch a Snitch with a net? Because he thought it was a magical butterfly!
Why did the muggle become a baker? Because he couldn’t cast a single spell, but he could make a mean loaf of bread.
How do muggles greet each other at parties? “Hey, have you seen the new Harry Potter movie? I heard it’s wand-erful!”
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the potion class? He heard they were doing spells on a higher level!
What do you call a Muggle who can do magic? A magician’s worst nightmare!
Why did the Muggle wear a wizard hat to work? He thought it would help him spell better!
How do muggles get around Diagon Alley? They take the “non-magical” route!
Why don’t muggles play hide-and-seek? Because no matter where they hide, the wizards always find them!
Why did the Muggle think he could play Quidditch? Because he saw people flying on broomsticks and thought it was a new extreme sport!
Why did the muggle carry a mirror everywhere? So they could see themselves doing magic!
How did the muggle try to catch a Snitch? By yelling, “Fleekendarmus!”
Why did the Muggle take a nap in the library? He heard they had a fantastic book on “How to Sleep Like a Wizard!”
Why did the muggle take a job at Gringotts? They wanted to make some wizard dough!
Why did the Muggle throw his wand in the ocean? He wanted to see if it would turn into a “sea-stick”!
What do you get when you cross a muggle with a troll? A person who can’t cast spells and has terrible manners!
What do you call a muggle who finally finds platform nine and three-quarters? “Relieved-us non-magical”!
Why don’t muggles understand potions? Because they’re always stirring up trouble!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard performing magic? “Abracadabra-no-way!”
Why did the muggle carry a map to the Quidditch game? So they could find the nearest “snitch” stand!
Why did the Muggle get kicked out of Hogwarts? He couldn’t even spell “Expelliarmus.”
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to Hogwarts? Because he heard the castle was full of bright ideas!
How do you confuse a muggle? Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner!
Why was the muggle confused at Ollivander’s wand shop? They thought they were buying a “wi-fi” wand!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the park? To sweep the competition!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the park? They wanted to play “Quid-ditch” with their friends!
What do you call a muggle who can write with both hands? Ambidextremuggle!
Why did the Muggle wear a cloak to work? So he could pretend he was invisible during boring meetings!
What did the muggle do when they found out they were surrounded by wizards? They said, “I’m in a real ‘spell’ of trouble now!”
How do you confuse a muggle? Ask them to pronounce “Wingardium Leviosa” correctly!
Why did the muggle go to the Quidditch match? He heard they were serving butter beer, and he loves a good pint.
What do you call a Muggle who accidentally turns a pumpkin into a carriage? A wizard in disguise!
Why did the muggle go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Because they thought it was a cooking school specializing in “hufflepuffs”!
Why did the muggle get a job at the Ministry of Magic? Because he thought it was a place where they made delicious potions!
What do you call a Muggle who can’t park their broomstick properly? A bad witch-parker!
How do muggles like their coffee? Non-magically.
How do Muggles send letters to each other? By using the “e-quill” service!
Why did the muggle become a baker? Because they wanted to make “spellbinding” pastries!
Why did the Muggle go to the library? He heard they had spell-check.
Why was the Muggle chef so bad at making potions? Because he couldn’t get the spells right to season them!
Why did the muggle take his vacuum to Hogwarts? He heard there were a lot of “sweeping spells” to learn!
Why don’t muggles ever ride broomsticks? Because they can’t handle the “sweep”stakes!
How do muggles exercise their magical abilities? They just “wing it”!
Why did the Muggle become a referee at the wizarding duel? Because he wanted to count the spell points fairly!
How did the muggle fix their broken wand? They used “spello-tape”!
Why did the muggle dress up as a wizard for Halloween? He wanted to feel “spell-fabulous!”
Why did the muggle stand on a chair to watch the Quidditch match? They wanted a better broom’s-eye view!
What do muggles use to light up a room? Electricity, not Lumos!
What’s a muggle’s favorite magical creature? The flabbergasted unicorn!
What’s a muggle’s favorite type of spell? Accio-nado!
Why did the muggle bring a wand to the park? Because they wanted to “charm” the squirrels!
How did the muggle react when they saw a flying broomstick? They exclaimed, “That’s just sweeping me off my feet!”
What do you call a muggle who constantly loses their glasses? A “squintindor”!
How do muggles fix their broken wands? With a “glue-stick” spell, of course!
Why did the muggle wear a cloak to the bakery? They wanted to look dough-mestic!
What did the muggle say to the wizard? “Abracadabra, I can’t believe it’s not butter!”
Why did the muggle try to make potions in his kitchen? Because he thought he could brew up some soup-er powers!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the magic show? Because he heard the magician needed someone to spellbound.
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard? “You must be spell-bent on making me laugh!”
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to Diagon Alley? They were afraid of the dark arts!
What do you call a Muggle who loves to clean? A vacuum-cleaner-magus!
Why did the muggle wear a cape? They thought they could blend in with the wizards!
Why did the muggle go to the potion class? They thought it was a “mixology” class for cocktails!
Why do muggles never get lost in the Forbidden Forest? They always follow the “Google Maps”!
Why did the Muggle ask the witch for a broomstick ride? He wanted to know if it had better mileage than his car!
Why did the Muggle bring a mirror to the Quidditch match? Because he wanted to see a seeker reflection!
Why did the muggle become a dentist? Because he wanted to fill the “gaps” in magic!
Why did the muggle bring a cauldron to the party? Because they wanted to make a “pot” luck dish!
Why did the muggle join a magic club? He thought it was a “wand”-erful opportunity!
Why did the Muggle refuse to play Quidditch? He was afraid of getting broomstick splinters!
Why did the muggle always carry an umbrella? He heard there was a chance of showers… of magic!
What do you get when you mix a Muggle and a Dementor? Someone who sucks at magic but is great at draining the fun out of a room!
What do you call a muggle who is a big fan of Harry Potter? A “mugglehead”!
How do Muggles go to Hogwarts? They take the “Hogwarts Ex-press” train, of course!
What do you call a muggle who can’t tell a joke? A no-pun intended!
Why did the Muggle think he could cast spells? Because he heard that “witchful thinking” was a thing!
Why did the Muggle bring a flashlight to Diagon Alley? He wanted to see if the wands were “illuminating”
Why did the Muggle try to cast a spell on their broken wand? They thought it would “repair-o!” it!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the park? He wanted to join in on the “stick” sports too!
Why did the muggle bring a dictionary to the Quidditch game? They wanted to understand the “spell” of the sport!
What did the muggle say when he accidentally stumbled upon Diagon Alley? “Oops, I took a wrong turn at Muggle Street!”
What do you call a muggle who is afraid of technology? A “scroll-phobe”!
Why did the Muggle go to Flourish and Blotts? He wanted to learn how to spell “book” correctly.
Why did the Muggle bring a time-turner to the Quidditch match? So they could go back and catch the Snitch before anyone else!
What did the Muggle say when he saw a wizard? “Are you Quidditch kidding me?”
Why did the muggle go to the dentist? They wanted to get their “wand-erful” smile checked!
Why did the Muggle bring a wand to the zoo? They wanted to see if they could make the animals “ape-arate”!
Why did the muggle refuse to buy a wand? He thought it was too “pointless” of a purchase!
How do muggles send owls? They use email instead of Owl Post!
How do muggles try to make their food magical? They sprinkle it with “sorcer-salt!”
What do you call a muggle who just won the lottery? A no-mag-nificent!
Why did the Muggle ask a Hogwarts student for their autograph? Because he thought they were famous “spell-ebrity”
Why did the Muggle bring a ladder to the magical library? Because he heard there were spellbooks on the top shelf!
Why did the muggle bring a pencil to the Quidditch match? In case he needed to draw a wand!
What did the Muggle say when he found out about Hogwarts? “Talk about a magical education… I’ve been paying student loans for years!”
Why did the muggle wear earmuffs to the magic show? They didn’t want to hear any “spell”-binding secrets!
How do you confuse a muggle? Give them a wand and ask them to perform a charm.
Why did the muggle become a magician? Because he wanted to make his dreams of being a wizard disappear!
Why did the Muggle go to the Quidditch stadium with a car full of chickens? Because he heard the game was for the birds!
Why did the muggle become a Quidditch player? They wanted to catch the Golden Snitch and sell it on eBay!
How did the muggle become friends with a wizard? They had a “spellbinding” conversation!
Why did the muggle refuse to believe in magic? He couldn’t see the wand-erful possibilities!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard doing magic tricks? “That’s a spell-binding performance!”
Why did the Muggle take his pet owl to the gym? He wanted it to be a well-toned fowl!
Why did the muggle cross the road? To ask the wizard on the other side for directions to Diagon Alley!
What’s a Muggle’s favorite spell? “Accio Pizza!” – They’re always trying to summon food!
Why did the muggle visit the wizarding bank? They wanted to “goblin” up some magical currency!
How do you make a muggle’s day magical? Give them a wand and watch them try to cast spells on their TV remote!
Why did the Muggle take his pet owl to the vet? It was hooting uncontrollably and he thought it had a spell on it.
What do you call a muggle who keeps trying to enter Diagon Alley? A Knockturnal failure!
Why did the muggle wear a cloak to the beach? Because they wanted to “wave” their magical fashion sense!
How do Muggles send messages? By using “owl” fashioned mail!
What did the muggle say after seeing a wizard turn a rabbit into a hat? “That’s hare-raising!”
Why did the muggle bring a tent to the Quidditch match? In case they wanted to pitch in!
What do you call a muggle who can mimic a wizard’s spell? A “copy-cat” muggle!
Why did the muggle try to fly on a broomstick? Because he thought it was a new form of exercise called “broom-aerobics”!
What do muggles call a Hogwarts house party? A “mugglesome”!
Why did the Muggle go to the Quidditch match? He wanted to catch the Golden Snitch… on camera!
What do you call a muggle who can’t keep a secret? A “leakysquare”!
Why did the Muggle cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a Squib.
What’s a muggle’s favorite spell? Expecto Patron-one-liner!
What do you get when you cross a Muggle with a troll? A lot of confused muggles!
Why did the muggle bring a car to Hogwarts? He heard it had good “spell” efficiency!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wand? “Wow, that’s quite a “wand-erful” stick you got there!”
How do you make a Muggle laugh on a broomstick? Tick-le them!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard doing magic tricks? “You must have a wand-erful sense of humor!”
Why don’t muggles use broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are easier to ride!
What do you call a muggle who’s always late to class? A “time-turnip”!
Why did the muggle try to cast a spell on their TV? They wanted to “Netflix and incantation”!
Why did the Muggle join the choir at Hogwarts? They thought it was a magical way to learn how to spell!
Why did the muggle wear earmuffs while reading a magic book? He didn’t want to hear any spoilers!
Why did the muggle bring a phone to the Hogwarts library? Because he heard there were too many spells to remember!
What do you call a Muggle with a wand? A magician in denial!
Why did the Muggle bring a ladder to Hogwarts? He heard the ceiling was “spell-binding”
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the bakery? Because they heard the pie was out of this world!
What’s a Muggle’s favorite spell? Expecto Patronum, because they always expect more Patron!
Why did the muggle take a job at the bakery? Because he thought doughnuts were a magical creation!
Why did the muggle try to open a locked door with Alohomora? Because they thought it was a “magical key”!
Why did the Muggle enroll in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Because he wanted to major in “Muggle Studies”!
Why don’t muggles play Quidditch? Because they can’t find the snitch and they think the brooms are just for sweeping.
Why did the muggle take his cat to the wizarding world? He wanted to teach it “meow-gic” tricks!
What did the muggle say when he accidentally stumbled upon Diagon Alley? “I must be lost in a ‘magical’ shopping mall!”
Why did the muggle go to the Quidditch match? He wanted to see if he could “catch” the snitch in real life!
What did the Muggle say when he saw a flying car? “I guess Harry Potter is on vacation!”
What did the Muggle say when he saw a flying broomstick? “I didn’t know they made those in vacuum cleaner size!”

Short Muggle Jokes

Short muggle jokes are the magical potion to light-hearted humor—simple, relatable, and with an unexpected touch of enchantment.

These quips are perfect for text messages, social media statuses, or that moment at a fan convention when you need a quick ice breaker.

The charm of short muggle jokes lies in their ability to combine our Muggle world with the wizarding world of Harry Potter, delivering giggles in just a few words.

So, without further ado, let’s raise our wands!

Here are short muggle jokes that conjure up a quick laugh in just a few words.

What do you call a Muggle who can juggle? A multi-tasking non-magician!
Why was the muggle afraid to go to Hogwarts? It was spellbinding!
How does a muggle send a letter to Hogwarts? By Muggle mail!
Why did the muggle go to the bakery? For a wand-erful treat!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the office? For sweepstakes!
Why did the Muggle wear a cape to work? To feel magical!
What do you call a muggle who loves Quidditch? A Muggledor!
Why did the muggle go to Hogwarts? To pick up wizard chicks!
Why did the muggle buy a wand? To impress his pencil!
What’s a muggle’s favorite type of music? Non-magical melodies!
Why don’t Muggles play Quidditch? They can’t find the golden snitch!
Why did the Muggle go to school? To improve his wizardry!
How do muggles open a door? They “knock-knock” like everyone else!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the bookstore? For spell-checking!
Why was the Muggle reading Harry Potter? They wanted a magical experience!
Why don’t Muggles use Floo Powder? They can’t handle the fireplace traffic!
How do muggles get their morning caffeine fix? By drinking “No-spresso”!
What do you call a Muggle who believes in magic? A Muggleiever!
How do Muggles pay for their coffee? With regular bean currency!
Why did the muggle become a magician? To try and fit in!
What’s a Muggle’s favorite spell? Expelliamuggle-us!
Why did the Muggle become an artist? They had magical brushstrokes!
Why did the muggle visit the Quidditch stadium? To catch a broomstick!
Why did the muggle visit Gringotts Bank? To exchange non-magical money!
What do you call a Muggle with a broom? A quidditch spectator!
What do you call a muggle who can run fast? A sprinter-muggle!
Why did the Muggle cross the road? To catch the Golden Snitch!
How did the muggle feel at the Quidditch match? Out of broom!
What do you call a Muggle with a broken broomstick? Unfortunate!
What do you call a muggle wearing a cloak? A wannabe wizard!
What do you call a Muggle who sneezes a lot? A No-Spellus!
What did the Muggle say to the wizard? “You’re spellbinding!”
Why did the Muggle go to Hogwarts? They wanted to study Muggle-ic!
What do you call a muggle who can’t swim? A human buoy!
How did the Muggle fix their broken broomstick? With Muggle tape!
Why did the muggle go to Hogwarts? To study electrical engineering!
What do muggles call a flying car? A “fender-broomstick”!
How do Muggles get to Hogwarts? They take the Muggle Express!
What do you call a Muggle who can see Dementors? Paranormal-Muggle!
Why did the muggle become a magician? They wanted to be spellbound!
How did the muggle become a magician? By studying Muggle-ic!
What do you call a muggle with a wand? A wishful thinker!
How do muggles take notes in a magical class? With a “no-pen”!
Why did the muggle visit Diagon Alley? To shop for non-magical wares!
Why did the muggle become a beekeeper? To learn about the buzz-iness!
How did the muggle learn to fly? They took a crash course!
What’s a muggle’s favorite spell? “Accio takeout!”

Muggle Jokes One-Liners

Muggle jokes one-liners are the epitome of humor, wrapped up in a single, magic-free sentence.

They’re the verbal equivalent of effortlessly finding Platform 9 ¾ – surprising, exhilarating, and undeniably amusing.

Creating a compelling one-liner involves a mix of cleverness, precision, and a deep admiration for the magic of wordplay.

The real trick is to encompass the setup and punchline in a concise format, delivering the maximum laughter with minimum verbiage.

Here’s to hoping these Muggle one-liners have you laughing harder than a Weasley with a trick wand:

Why did the muggle get kicked out of the wizarding school? He couldn’t spell “potions” correctly – he kept writing “potatoes”
A muggle tried to use Floo Powder to travel but ended up sneezing his way into the fireplace. Needless to say, it was a real flue-powder disaster.
Muggles have their own version of a potions class—it’s called bartending.
Why did the Muggle go to the doctor? Because he had a case of “spell fever!”
I tried to join the Wizarding World, but they said I was just a muggle-nificent waste of magic potential.
I asked a muggle if they believed in magic. They said, “Only when my phone battery lasts all day.”
I may be a muggle, but I’m the master of accidentally setting off car alarms with my wand.
I tried to join a magic club, but they said I was too muggle for their liking.
Being a muggle is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it… poorly.
Why did the Muggle bring a tape measure to Hogwarts? They wanted to see if it measured up to their expectations.
If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest muggle around.
Why did the muggle bring a spoon to the magic show? Because he heard they were doing some trickery with a silverware!
I told my muggle friend about my magical abilities, and he said, “Yeah, well, I can make the remote disappear.” Impressive, I guess.
I’m a muggle in a world of wizards, which means I’m like a unicorn at a cat convention.
Why did the muggle take a fishing rod to Diagon Alley? Because he wanted to “witch” some magic fish!
I told a muggle I was a wizard, and they asked if I could turn their student loans into gold.
I told a muggle I could make their phone disappear, and they handed it to me willingly. Turns out, they just wanted an upgrade.
I’m not a muggle, I just prefer to call myself a “magic-challenged individual.”
I asked a muggle if they believe in magic, they said they believe in Wi-Fi. Close enough.
Why did the Muggle bring a spoon to the park? In case he wanted to catch a Quidditch Snitch!
The best thing about being a muggle is never having to worry about your socks disappearing in a magical laundry mishap.
I asked a muggle if they knew any magical jokes, and they said, “Yeah, my bank account.”
I applied for a job at Hogwarts, but they said they only hire non-muggles. Discrimination against muggles, I tell you!
Why did the muggle go to the Quidditch match? They wanted to see if the snitch was on the menu!
Being a muggle is tough, but at least I can still find my way with a GPS instead of a Marauder’s Map.
I asked a muggle if they could cast a spell to make their problems disappear, and they said, “Sure, it’s called ‘ignoring them.'”
Why did the muggle buy a new smartphone? He wanted to cast spells with his mobile incantations!
How many muggles does it take to change a light bulb? None, they use electricity!
I showed a muggle a disappearing coin trick, and they accused me of pickpocketing. Apparently, magic and thievery are easily confused.
Why did the muggle bring a camera to Diagon Alley? Because he thought it was a picture-perfect place for “spell-fies”
Being a muggle is tough, you have to manually open doors and everything.
I told a muggle that I was a wizard, they asked if I could magically make their boss disappear.
I told a muggle that I could turn water into wine. They asked me if I could turn wine into money instead.
I may not have a wand, but I can still wave goodbye to all my responsibilities like a pro muggle.
Why don’t Muggles play hide and seek? Because nobody would look for them!
I asked a muggle if they believed in magic, and they said, “Sure, as long as it’s the magic of a good cup of coffee in the morning.” Priorities, I guess.
Why did the Muggle go to the potion shop? He wanted to buy a love potion for his crush, Hermione Granger!
What did the muggle say to the wizard? “Abraca-nah, I’ll just use my phone.”
Muggles are like unicorns…except they’re not magical, don’t have horns, and are just regular people.
Why did the muggle try to use a cauldron as a hat? Because he wanted to “brew” up some style!
I’m like a muggle in a Quidditch match – completely clueless.
I may not be able to apparate, but I can still make food disappear like a true muggle magician.
What do you call a muggle who can’t use magic? A wand-er without powers!
Why did the Muggle refuse to attend the Quidditch match? They didn’t want to get caught up in a “witch hunt”
Why did the muggle visit the potion shop? Because he wanted to try a “spell”-binding drink!
I went to a magic show, but all I saw was a bunch of muggles pretending to be wizards.
Being a muggle is like being a unicorn in a world full of dragons—completely out of place.
Why did the muggle go to the wizarding school? Because they wanted to master the art of turning on the TV with a remote control.
I tried to impress the warlock by levitating, but I just ended up floating awkwardly for a few seconds.
Being a muggle means I have to manually turn on the lights like a caveman.
Why did the muggle bring a stopwatch to Hogwarts? He wanted to see if he could “Slytherin” some extra time in Potions class.
I met a muggle who claimed to be a master of potions, but it turned out they were just really good at mixing cocktails.
I asked a muggle what they thought about the Ministry of Magic, they said they preferred the Department of Coffee and Donut Affairs instead.
Why did the Muggle go to Diagon Alley? He wanted to buy a new “I am a wizard” T-shirt!
I asked a muggle if they believed in magic, they said they only believed in the magic of finding money in their old coat pockets.
My muggle friends think I’m a wizard when I manage to parallel park.
Sometimes I feel like a muggle trapped in a wizard’s body. But then reality kicks in and I realize I’m just a confused human.
Why did the muggle get banned from the Leaky Cauldron? He thought “Expelliarmus” was the name of a fancy drink.
Why did the Muggle stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate” on it!
Muggle life is like trying to cast a spell with a broken wand – it never quite goes right.
I showed a muggle a picture of a Niffler, they asked if it was the latest robotic vacuum cleaner on the market.
Muggles call it “technology,” wizards call it “magic without a wand.”
I’m a muggle, but I can still make things disappear. Just watch my bank account balance.
Why did the Muggle wear glasses? Because he wanted to look more intellectual while reading about magic!
I thought I had magical powers until I realized I was just really good at fooling myself. Muggle problems.
Being a muggle is like being a hamster in a world full of cats.
If being a muggle were an Olympic sport, I’d definitely win gold… in the “Tripping Over My Own Feet” event.
What do you call a Muggle who tries to join the Wizarding World? A “Hogwarts Hopeful”!
I’m not a muggle, I’m just a wizard in disguise as a very clumsy person.
What do you call a Muggle who has lost his car keys? A pedestrian!
Why did the muggle bring a car battery to the park? Because he wanted to jump-start his social life!
I asked a wizard to turn me into a magical creature, but all he did was give me a funny hat and call me a muggle-morph.
I saw a wizard trying to catch a bus, but he kept waiting for the Knight Bus instead.
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard riding a broomstick? “You’re sweeping me off my feet!”
I tried to cast a spell, but all I got was a confused look from my cat.
What do you call a muggle who always finds magical objects? A “muggle magnet” with a touch of wizard luck!
Why did the Muggle think the flying broomstick was a dangerous weapon? They were worried about “sweeping statements”
I tried to explain Quidditch to a muggle, but they just called it “extreme dodgeball on broomsticks.”
Being a muggle means I’m immune to any magical pranks, but I’m also missing out on all the fun.
I may be a muggle, but at least my broomstick doesn’t double as a vacuum cleaner.
I’m such a muggle that even my magic 8-ball responds with “Seriously?”
I accidentally turned a muggle’s smartphone into a broomstick, now they’re constantly swiping left and right to make calls.
What do you call a Muggle who can run faster than Usain Bolt? A Muggle on a broomstick!
What do you call a Muggle who can run faster than a Nimbus 2000? A Weasley!
I asked a muggle if they wanted to see a magic trick, and they responded, “Sure, make my student loans disappear.”
Being a muggle means you’ll never have to worry about your wand getting confiscated at airport security.
I asked the enchantress if she could give me a love potion, but she said I needed to work on my charm first.
Why did the Muggle become a magician? Because he thought “Abracadabra” was a spell to clean his house!
I asked a muggle if they believed in magic, and they said no, but they do believe in Wi-Fi signals magically appearing in their house.
Why did the muggle take a car to Hogwarts? He couldn’t find platform nine and three-quarters!
Being a muggle is tough, I can’t even fix my computer by waving a wand at it.
A muggle walked into a wand shop and asked, “Do you have any wands that can do the dishes?” The shopkeeper replied, “No, but we have a magic sponge that does wonders.”
I tried explaining Quidditch to a muggle, but they just thought I was talking about a weird combination of soccer and dodgeball.
I’m a muggle in the streets, but a wizard in the sheets.
I may be a muggle, but my dancing skills are pure magic on the dance floor.
Why did the Muggle join a secret society of wizards? They wanted to be a part of something “spell-binding”
Muggles may not have magic, but they have mastered the art of finding the TV remote in less than 10 seconds.
Why did the Muggle think the Hogwarts Express was a roller coaster? They heard it was a “magical train ride”
A muggle walks into a bookstore and asks the shopkeeper, “Do you have any books on how to become a wizard?” The shopkeeper replies, “No, but we have a great selection of self-help books.” .
Why did the Muggle stand on a chair at the restaurant? He heard the food was out of this world!
In the wizarding world, I’d probably be the muggle who accidentally invents a new potion called “Instant Napping.” .
I told a muggle I was a wizard, and they asked if I could fix their broken TV. I guess they thought being a wizard automatically made me a tech expert.
Being a muggle is like living in a world without color-changing pens – it’s just dull.
Why did the Muggle wear a wizard’s hat to the office? He thought it would help him conjure up some great ideas!
A muggle asked me if I could make them invisible. I said, “Sure, just close your eyes and pretend you’re a wizard.”
Why did the muggle eat his wand? Because he thought it was a chocolate bar!
Muggles are proof that not everything can be fixed with a simple flick of a wand.
I tried to cast a spell, but all I managed to do was turn myself into a muggle with a bad hair day.
Why did the muggle go to the bank with a ladder? They wanted to check their balance!
Why did the Muggle bring a camera to the wizarding world? He wanted to capture some spellbinding moments!
What do you call a Muggle who dreams about magic? A “fantasy-phobe”
I tried to cast a spell, but all I summoned was my own embarrassment.
How do Muggles exercise? By running out of patience!
I told a muggle I could turn water into wine, and they said, “That’s nice, but can you turn coffee into productivity?”
My wizard friend tried to explain magic to me, but all I heard was “blah blah blah, muggle, blah blah blah.”
How does a muggle make a potion? Trial and error, mostly error.
I met a muggle who claimed to have a magical talent for finding lost socks, and I said, “That’s the most useful non-magical power I’ve ever heard of!”
Why did the muggle refuse to attend the Yule Ball? He heard it was a “wand”-erful event, and he didn’t want to feel like a “Snitch” out of water.
What did the muggle say when he saw a wand for the first time? “That’s definitely not a “stick”!
I tried to enroll in Hogwarts, but they said my muggle status was too advanced.
I tried to cast a spell to make myself invisible, but I think I just made everyone blind to my fashion sense.
What did the Muggle say when he found out he was a wizard? “You’ve got to be wand-ering!”
Why don’t muggles use floo powder? They prefer taking the elevator.
I told a muggle that Hogwarts was a real school, they said they thought it was just a fictional place where they could escape reality.
I convinced a muggle that a wand was the ultimate selfie stick, now they’re trying to cast spells on their Instagram photos.
Why did the muggle go to the doctor with a broken wand? He wanted a second opinion on the spell he cast on it!
Being a muggle is tough, I can barely even make a potion out of instant noodles.
Why did the Muggle bring a mirror to the Quidditch game? Because he heard there would be a lot of broomsticks!
What do you call a muggle who can’t find their way out of a maze? A corn-fused muggle!
What do you call a muggle who can’t remember anything? A forgetful squib!
I tried teaching a muggle how to levitate objects, but they just ended up knocking over their coffee mug and blaming it on invisible gremlins.
I’m a muggle with no magical powers, but I can make a mean cup of tea.
What’s a muggle’s favorite subject in school? “Spell”-ing!
Why did the Muggle try to enter Diagon Alley? Because he heard they had great deals on broomsticks… but he couldn’t find the entrance!
Why did the Muggle bring a flashlight to the magic show? Because they heard there would be some “light magic”
What do you call a muggle who becomes a wizard? A “turn-muggle” event!
I asked the sorcerer if he could turn my cat into a lion, but he said it was against his pride.
What do you call a muggle who can do magic? A witch at heart attack!
Why did the Muggle always carry a ladder? In case they needed to reach a higher level of confusion.
Why did the Muggle go to the bank with a ladder? He wanted to make some high-interest deposits!
What did the muggle say when he saw a broomstick? “Well, that’s one way to sweep the competition!”
I told a wizard I was a muggle and he laughed so hard, his wand shot out confetti instead of sparks.
Why did the Muggle wear a life jacket on a date? Because he heard it was a buoyfriend!
Why did the muggle wear a seatbelt while playing Quidditch? He was afraid of getting broomsticks!
I tried to make a spell to turn myself into a wizard, but all I got was a sudden craving for butterbeer.
I met a muggle who claimed to have invented a potion that could make them fly. I told them it was called Red Bull.
What’s a Muggle’s favorite type of music? Rhythm and blu-ray!
Why did the muggle take their phone to the potions class? They wanted to brew-selfies!
I tried to impress a muggle with my magical abilities, but all I managed to do was levitate their sandwich. They were more concerned about their lunch than my magic.
Muggles and their non-magical ways…what a bunch of “no-mag”icians.
I asked a muggle if they had any magical powers, they said their ability to lose socks in the laundry was unmatched.
What do you call a muggle who can’t find their way to Hogwarts? A “lost-peller”!
Being a muggle means never having to worry about your broomstick getting stolen by mischievous pixies.
What’s a Muggle’s favorite type of math? Square root!
I tried using magic to fix my computer, turns out muggles invented IT support for a reason.
I thought I could become a magician, but I soon realized I was just pulling things out of a hat for a living.
What do you call a muggle who accidentally discovers a magic wand? A “wand-erer”
I asked the witch if she could turn me into a frog, just for a ribbit.
I went to a magic show and the magician told me to pick a card, any card. So I picked the joker and he said I nailed it.
Why did the Muggle become a fan of Quidditch? He thought it was the only sport where the players could fly!
I found a muggle reading a book about wizards, and they said it was their way of escaping reality, to which I replied, “Wizards are our reality!”
Why did the muggle refuse to play Quidditch? He thought it was too “flighty” for his taste.
Why don’t muggles play Quidditch? They can’t find a decent flying broomstick at Walmart!
I asked a muggle to do magic tricks, but all they could pull off was disappearing money.
I’m a muggle, but I’m still hoping for my Hogwarts acceptance letter.
I saw a muggle trying to cast a spell on their phone to make the battery last longer. It didn’t work, but they did manage to delete all their apps.
I told a muggle I was a professional Quidditch player, and they said they were a professional couch potato. We both had impressive titles.
Why did the muggle go to the wand store? He needed a new TV remote.
I may be a muggle, but I excel at accidentally breaking things with my wand-like clumsiness.
Why did the Muggle try to cast a spell on their computer? They heard it had a “spell-check” function.
Being a muggle is like having a permanent “out of order” sign on your magical abilities.
I tried to impress the wizard by doing a magic trick, but all I could pull out of my hat was a rubber duck.
I put the “mug” in muggle.
I’m such a muggle that I need Google Maps to find my own house.
I tried to do a magic trick in front of a muggle, now they think I’m just really bad at sleight of hand.
As a muggle, my patronus would probably just be a slightly flustered squirrel.
I tried to join a Quidditch team, but they said I was just a muggle in a world of broomsticks.
Why did the muggle become a magician? He wanted to prove that not all magic is real… just most of it.
Why did the muggle stare at the moving portrait? He thought it was a TikTok video!
I tried to join a magical society, but they said my Hogwarts letter got lost in the mail… for 20 years.
Why did the muggle become a gardener? Because he heard he could “plant” some magic beans!
What do you call a Muggle who accidentally wanders into the Forbidden Forest? Lost!
I asked a muggle if they believed in magic, and they said the closest thing they’ve seen is their smartphone battery lasting all day.
What do you call a Muggle who attends a Quidditch game? A “Bewitched Bystander”!
My magical power is being able to find the remote control even in the messiest of muggle houses.
I’m not a muggle, I’m just magically challenged.
I told the wizard that my magic wand only works on weekdays, so I’ll have to spellbind him later.
Why did the Muggle bring a suitcase to Hogwarts? He thought it was a portable closet expansion spell!
Why did the Muggle join a gym? He wanted to master the spell of weight loss!
I may be a muggle, but I can still perform an impressive disappearing act at work every Friday afternoon.
I may be a muggle, but I can still rock a “wand-erful” hairstyle.
A muggle tried to convince me that they were a secret agent for the Ministry of Magic. I asked them what their wizarding codename was and they said, “007.”
What did the muggle say when he saw a wand for the first time? “Is that a stick, or are you just happy to spell me?”
Why did the muggle become a chef? Because he heard it was a great way to cast a spell on people’s taste buds!
I asked a muggle if they believed in magic, they replied with “I believe in Wi-Fi.”
What do you call a muggle who takes forever to text back? A wand-erer!
I tried to explain to a muggle how to pronounce “Wingardium Leviosa,” but they said it was easier to say “Lumos” and just turn on the lights.
Why did the muggle become a fan of Harry Potter? Because he wanted to make a “muggle-gang” of friends!
My magic trick is turning a perfectly good day into a muggle Monday.
Being a muggle means constantly asking, “Why doesn’t this wand have an ‘undo’ button?”
I asked a witch for a love potion, but she gave me a mug of tea and said it was “muggle magic” for a broken heart.
I asked a muggle if they could see the magical creatures I could see, and they said yes, they’re called cats.

Muggle Dad Jokes

Muggle dad jokes are the perfect concoction of humor and wit, with a dash of Harry Potter references to make anyone chuckle and roll their eyes simultaneously.

These are the kind of jokes that are so cheesy, they’re magical.

Ideal for family get-togethers, casual chats, or simply to add a sparkle of laughter in a mundane day.

Prepare for the mirth.

Here are some muggle dad jokes that are destined to charm:

Why did the muggle keep a dictionary next to their wand? So they could spell their spells correctly!
Why did the muggle join a cooking class at Hogwarts? Because they wanted to learn the “muggle-born” recipes!
Why did the muggle start carrying a wand? He wanted to make his daily routine more spellbinding!
What do muggles use to light up their houses? Electric Lumos-ity!
Why did the muggle start a bakery? Because they wanted to make some spellbinding doughnuts!
Why did the Muggle become a referee for Quidditch? Because he wanted to make some “magic calls”!
Why did the muggle take a job at the zoo? Because they wanted to see real-life fantastic beasts!
Why did the muggle refuse to play Quidditch? Because they didn’t want to be called a snitch!
What did the muggle wear to the wizarding party? A plain robe, because they didn’t want to stand out in the crowd!
Why did the muggle bring a glass of water to the computer? In case it got thirsty while surfing the net!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the magical forest? Because he heard the trees were outstanding in their field!
Why did the Muggle bring a map to Diagon Alley? Because they didn’t want to get lost in the magical shops and end up in a wand-erful place!
Why did the muggle’s broomstick refuse to fly? Because it said, “I’m not a Quidditch player, I’m just a sweepstakes winner!”
How did the muggle feel when he accidentally stepped into Diagon Alley? He was “wandering” in disbelief!
Why did the Muggle cross the road? To see if the wizard on the other side could turn him into a toad!
What did the Muggle say when he saw a wizard? “Abracadabra-solutely amazing!”
Why did the muggle become a gardener? Because they wanted to learn how to make magical plants grow “muggle-nificently!”
How did the muggle react to seeing a flying car? They said, “Wow, I guess even vehicles can escape rush hour traffic!”
Why did the Muggle go to the bakery? He heard they had a “spell-binding” selection of pastries!
Why did the muggle become a detective? Because they wanted to solve the mystery of how wizards disappear!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to the Quidditch match? Because they heard it was a “lightning” game!
What do you call a Muggle who can’t perform magic but loves to sing? A “muggle-ician”!
What do you call a muggle who tries to do magic tricks? A “hocus pocus” failure!
Why did the Muggle open a bakery in Hogsmeade? Because they wanted to bring a little “magic” to everyone’s taste buds!
Why did the Muggle bring a wand to the Quidditch match? Because he thought it was a fancy conductor’s baton!
What did the muggle say to his wizard friend after a magic trick went wrong? “Well, that was quite a hocus no-pocus!”
What do you call a muggle who tries to use a Portkey? A “transportation-challenged” wizard wannabe!
What do you call a muggle who can cast spells with a toothpick? A “wand”erful magician!
Why did the Muggle visit Ollivander’s wand shop? Because they heard it was a great place for “wand”erlust!
How do muggles send letters? By using a non-owl mail service, of course!
Why did the Muggle try to lift Thor’s hammer? Because they thought being a wizard would grant them some extra strength!
How does a muggle use a broomstick? They sweep with it!
Why did the muggle become a gardener? Because they wanted to grow their own “magical” herbs and potions!
Why did the muggle become a comedian? Because he wanted to prove that even without magic, he can still conjure up laughter!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the gym? He heard it was a great way to step up his fitness routine!
How did the muggle become friends with a wizard? They simply clicked like magic!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard levitating? “I guess I’ve been living in a muggle world, this is absolutely spell-binding!”
Why did the muggle wear a cloak to the Harry Potter convention? He wanted to blend in with the wizards, but he still stood out like a “muggle” thumb!
Why did the muggle become a gardener? Because he wanted to experience growing plants without any magical tricks!
How do you know a muggle is cold? They stand next to the fireplace and say, “I’m freezing this spell-casting thing!”
What do you call a muggle who can speak to snakes? A hissterical anomaly!
Why did the Muggle start a band? Because he wanted to play a “magic-al” tune!
Why did the muggle never win at chess? Because they always tried to castle using a magic wand!
Why did the muggle think the Sorting Hat was a fashion accessory? Because they said, “It really knows how to top off an outfit!”
Why did the muggle join a magic club? He wanted to learn how to “charm” the ladies!
How did the muggle react when he found out he was invited to Hogwarts? He said, “Finally, my letter didn’t get lost in the mail!”
Why did the muggle become a teacher? Because he loved to see his students spellbound!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to the library? Because they wanted to find all the spell-binding books!
How do you get a Muggle to stop talking? You “spell” them to be quiet!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard doing magic tricks? “You’ve got to be quidditching me!”
Why don’t muggles ever win at poker? Because they can’t handle a flush!
Why was the muggle so good at playing Quidditch? Because he could always catch the snitch with his muggle tricks!
Why did the Muggle fail their potions exam? Because they couldn’t spell “elixir” correctly!
Why did the Muggle join the Wizarding World dating site? Because they wanted to meet someone who could cast a love spell on them!
Why did the muggle visit Diagon Alley? He heard they were having a wand-erful sale!
Why do muggles love going to the theater? Because they can watch “Fantastic Beasts” and still feel like wizards, even without a wand!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the library? Because they heard the books had spells that could take them to new heights!
Why do muggles make terrible Quidditch players? Because they can’t handle the broomstick traffic!
What’s a muggle’s favorite spell? “Accio Pizza” – summoning a hot, cheesy slice right to their plate!
What do you call a muggle who accidentally stumbles upon Diagon Alley? A “lost-and-muggle” explorer!
Why did the muggle take up gardening? Because they heard they could grow their own magical plants, like “Herbology Leviosa”!
Why did the muggle always carry a map in the car? Because he wanted to find the “turn to wizard”!
What did the muggle say to the wizard who couldn’t stop talking about magic? “You’re spellbindingly boring!”
Why did the muggle become a comedian? Because they wanted to make everyone laugh, even without magic “potion”ality!
How do muggles get around without broomsticks? They “platform” their way through the train station!
Why did the Muggle start a band with wizards? Because they wanted to be a part of a magical jam session!
What did the muggle say when he accidentally walked into a wizard’s duel? “I must have taken a wrong turn on Diagon Alley!”
Why did the Muggle get a ticket at the Quidditch match? Because he was caught “snitching”!
Why did the muggle enroll in a wizarding school? Because they wanted to learn how to spell “muggle” correctly!
What do you call a muggle who is always studying? A mug-gle nerd!
Why don’t muggles ever get lost in a forest? Because they always follow the well-paved path!
Why did the muggle bring a pencil to Hogwarts? Because he heard the magic spells needed a lot of “spell-checking”!
What do you call a muggle who loves to eat magical creatures? A “fantastic yeast”er!
Why did the Muggle become a tourist in the Wizarding World? Because they wanted to see the spellbinding sights and become a muggle-tourist!
Why did the muggle become a baker? Because they kneaded a little magic in their life!
Why did the muggle join a magic club? Because they wanted to learn how to disappear when the bill arrived!
What do you call a Muggle who is obsessed with wizards? A “Muggle-nut”!
Why did the Muggle think the Quidditch players were amazing? Because he couldn’t “spell” out their moves!
Why did the Muggle think the Quidditch pitch was confusing? Because he couldn’t “witch” teams were which!
Why did the muggle take a job as a mailman in the wizarding world? He wanted to deliver some real “spell” mail!
Why do muggles make terrible chess players? Because they always struggle to see the “wizard” moves!
Why did the Muggle wear headphones to the Harry Potter convention? Because they wanted to tune out all the wizardry!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wand for the first time? “Now that’s a “wand”erful piece of wood!”
Why don’t muggles ever become astronauts? Because they can’t handle the space “spell”!
How did the Muggle end up at the Leaky Cauldron? He followed the “potter” signs!
Why did the muggle refuse to watch the Harry Potter movies? He didn’t want to “witch” his time!
Why did the Muggle wear a coat while performing magic? Because he didn’t want to catch a wand-chill!
Why did the muggle bring a dictionary to the Quidditch match? Because they wanted to understand the spellbinding commentary!
Why did the muggle try to brew a potion? He thought it was a “muggle-icious” way to make a hot drink!
What do you call a muggle who wears a cloak and carries a wand? A “Fool”ish person!
Why did the Muggle become a detective? He was always “muggling” around trying to solve mysteries!
What do you call a muggle who can perform magic tricks? A “hocus pocus”er!
What do you call a muggle who can speak Parseltongue? A hisstory teacher!
Why did the Muggle become a fan of Quidditch? Because he wanted to “wand-er” into a new sport!
How did the muggle feel when they found out about Hogwarts? Spell-shocked!
What do you call a muggle who loves Harry Potter jokes? A “muggle-icious” fan!
Why did the muggle bring a broomstick to the library? He wanted to clean up the “book” dust!
Why did the Muggle try to learn Quidditch? Because they wanted to catch the golden snitch and become a real “baller”!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the kitchen? Because they wanted to sweep up any “witch”ful thinking!
How do Muggles like their tea? Infused with a sprinkle of magic, of course!
Why did the muggle become a magician? Because they wanted to turn their boring life into something spellbinding!
Why did the muggle bring a car door to the desert? Because he wanted to roll down the window when it got hot!
What do you get when you cross a muggle with a broomstick? Someone who can’t sweep but still has a lot of “witchful” thinking!
Why did the Muggle start collecting wizard trading cards? Because he wanted to be a “spell-ebrity”!
How do muggles stay warm in the winter? They wear invisibility cloaks to hide from the cold!
Why did the Muggle try to enroll in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Because they thought they could ace the Muggle Studies class!
Why did the Muggle become a gardener in the wizarding world? Because they had a green thumb and a knack for herbology!
What do you call a muggle with a sense of humor? A gig-gle muggle!
Why did the Muggle start a band? Because he wanted to create some enchanting tunes!
Why did the muggle open a bakery in Diagon Alley? Because he wanted to prove that even muggles can make magical pastries!
Why did the muggle become a detective? Because he always wanted to solve a real-life mystery without magic!
What did the muggle say to the wizard who couldn’t perform any magic? “You must be spell-less!”
Why did the Muggle join a sports team? Because he wanted to bring some magic to the game!
Why did the Muggle start a pet shop? Because he wanted to sell magical creatures to aspiring wizards!
Why did the Muggle bring a map to the Ministry of Magic? Because he didn’t want to get “spell-lost”!
Why was the muggle always late to potions class? They always got stuck in a “traffic broom”!
What did the muggle say when he saw a witch on a broomstick? “Looks like she’s on a sweeping adventure!”
Why did the Muggle go to the Quidditch match? Because they wanted to catch a glimpse of the snitch and switch to a better sport!
Why did the muggle buy a boat? Because he wanted to sail through the sea of spells!
Why did the Muggle invite a wizard to their party? Because they wanted to add a little magic to the mix!
Why did the muggle go to the potion shop? Because they heard they could brew up some magical coffee there!
Why did the muggle go to the wizarding world? Because he wanted to see if he could “muggle” his way through it!
Why did the muggle go to school with a ladder? Because he wanted to reach for the stars!
Why did the muggle try to tame a hippogriff? He thought it would be a “muggle-tastic” pet, but he quickly realized it was a bad idea!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to the wizarding world? Because they didn’t want to “muggle” around in the dark!
Why did the Muggle take their car to Hogwarts? Because they heard it had great parking charms!
Why did the Muggle bring a magnifying glass to Hogwarts? Because he wanted to see “wiz-clear”!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard doing magic tricks? “That’s just a bunch of hocus muggle-pocus!”
Why don’t muggles play hide and seek with wizards? Because they always get disapparated!
Why did the muggle start a band? Because they heard it was a great way to “cast” musical spells!
What do you call a muggle who’s really good at solving puzzles? A “Mugglesaw” – they can unlock even the trickiest of riddles!
Why did the muggle carry a map to the Quidditch match? Because they wanted to make sure they didn’t “muggle” up the way!
How do you make a muggle laugh on a Saturday night? Tell them a spellbinding dad joke!
Why did the Muggle bring a ladder to the Quidditch match? Because he heard the players were always looking for a “keeper”!
Why did the muggle become a detective? Because he was great at finding the muggle-tive!
Why do muggles always carry umbrellas in the wizarding world? Because they don’t want to “muggle” under the rain!
Why did the muggle bring a pencil to the restaurant? In case he wanted to draw on his plate!
How did the muggle feel after being surrounded by wizards? He said, “I’m completely bewitching the wrong crowd!”
Why did the Muggle open a restaurant? Because he wanted to serve up some magical cuisine!
Why did the muggle go to the library? Because they heard there was a book about how to become a wizard on the “shelf”!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard? “You must be spellbound by my amazing sense of humor!”
Why did the Muggle bring a ladder to the Quidditch game? Because he wanted to reach the “high-witch” seats!
What do you call a muggle who can’t use a computer? A “no-spell” wizard!
Why did the muggle become a fan of Harry Potter? Because he wanted to experience a little “magic” in his life!
Why did the muggle take a pillow to the magic show? Because he wanted to see a wand-erful performance!
Why did the muggle bring a dictionary to the wizard convention? Because he wanted to learn some magic spells!
Why did the muggle carry a cauldron around town? He wanted to brew up some attention!
Why did the Muggle buy a magic wand? He wanted to “wand-er” around with a touch of magic!
How did the muggle feel after watching a Harry Potter movie marathon? Totally spellbound!
Why did the Muggle take a job at the bakery? Because he heard they kneaded a wizard!
Why did the muggle become a comedian? Because they wanted to make everyone “spell” with laughter!
Why did the muggle become an artist? Because they wanted to draw some muggle-born talent!
How does a muggle catch a Snitch? By saying, “Accio Snitch!” and hoping for the best!
Why did the Muggle become an inventor? Because he wanted to create his own magical gadgets!
Why did the Muggle become a teacher? Because he wanted to educate himself on magic!
Why did the muggle go to the dentist? Because he wanted to have a little fang maintenance!
How did the muggle react when he saw a wizard flying on a broomstick? He was swept off his feet!
Why did the muggle become a comedian? Because he could always make people spell with laughter!
Why did the Muggle bring a wand to the art museum? Because he wanted to add a touch of magic to the paintings!
What do you call a Muggle who tries to ride a broomstick? A “broom-ble”!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the park? Because they wanted to sweep someone off their feet!
Why did the Muggle start a business selling broomsticks? Because they wanted to sweep the competition away!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the magical convention? Because he wanted to reach new wizarding heights!
Why did the Muggle become a teacher? He loved “spell-ing” things out for his students!
Why did the muggle think he could beat a wizard in a duel? Because he thought the wizard was “spell-bound” to lose!
Why did the muggle wear two jackets to the Quidditch match? Because they heard it was going to be a Nimbus 2000 degrees!
Why did the muggle bring an umbrella to the Quidditch match? Because they heard it was raining “snitches”!
Why did the muggle become an astronaut? Because he wanted to explore the Milky Way without magic!
Why did the muggle want to become a Quidditch player? Because they heard it’s a great way to chase “Snitches”!
Why did the Muggle bring a fan to Diagon Alley? Because they heard it was a great place to find some “wands”!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the Quidditch match? He thought he could sweep the competition!
Why did the muggle open a bakery near the Wizarding World? Because he wanted to sell “Muggle-muffins”!
Why did the muggle become a baker? Because he couldn’t resist making spellbinding rolls!
Why did the muggle bring a map to the grocery store? Because they wanted to find the magical aisle!
Why did the muggle become a fan of Quidditch? Because he thought it was a fantastic way to mix sports and magic!
Why did the muggle go to the bakery? Because they wanted to buy a “spell-binding” cake for their birthday!
Why did the muggle go to Hogwarts? Because he heard they had a great spelling program!

Muggle Jokes for Kids

Muggle jokes for kids are like the magic wands of the joke world—they may seem simple, but they’re full of surprises and always a hit with the little ones.

These jokes not only stir laughter, but also spark imagination, as kids venture into the world of wizards and muggles, fostering a love for humor that’s as magical as the Harry Potter series itself.

Plus, muggle jokes for kids have the added bonus of making reading fun, transforming those pages of spells into a source of belly laughs.

Ready to introduce some enchantment to their chuckles?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them laughing like a Weasley in no time:

Why did the muggle go to the dentist? To get a little “tooth magic”!
Why don’t muggles use wands? Because they prefer to wave their hands like they just don’t care!
How do muggles tell time? With a regular, non-magical watch!
Why did the muggle become a Quidditch referee? Because they wanted to be a part of the magical game, even if they couldn’t play it themselves!
Why did the muggle wear a wizard hat to the party? Because he wanted to show off his “magical” fashion sense!
They put a little boogie in it!
Because he heard the magician could make things disappear on the top shelf!
What do you get when you mix a muggle with a pixie? A person who can’t stop giggling but can’t perform any magic!
Why did the muggle bring a wand to school? Because they heard it was the best way to “pencil-vate” their homework!
How do you know if a muggle is telling a joke? It’s completely spellbinding!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard? “Abracadabra… I mean, hi!”
Why did the muggle bring a magic wand to the beach? Because he wanted to see if he could turn sand into gold!
Why did the muggle take a broom to the park? Because he wanted to see if he could “witch” up some fun!
What do you call a muggle who is friends with dragons? A “drag-muggle”!
Why did the muggle take his pet fish to Hogwarts? He wanted it to learn how to swim in the lake!
Why did the muggle take a ladder to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the “mon-KEY” exhibit!
A “Potterhead”!
Why did the muggle go to the bakery? He wanted to see if they had any spell rolls!
Why did the muggle put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard using a wand? “Wow, that’s some serious flick trick!”
Why did the muggle take a job at the zoo? He wanted to see what a real-life magical creature looked like!
What did the muggle say when he saw a magical creature? “Wow, that’s un-muggle-ievable!”
Why did the muggle bring a fan to the magic show? Because they wanted to see some hocus-pocus wind!
What did the muggle say when they saw a magician’s trick? “Wow, that’s just a bunch of hocus MUGGLE-us!”
Why did the muggle go to the dentist? To get his teeth spelled!
Why did the muggle bring a toothbrush to the Quidditch game? In case they needed to “brush up” on their skills!
Why did the muggle carry a mirror everywhere? Because they wanted to reflect on how non-magical they were!
How does a muggle make a potion? They “stir up” some laughter and add a dash of silliness!
How do you spot a muggle at a magic show? They’re the ones saying “How did they do that?” instead of “Wow!”
Why did the muggle bring a suitcase to the park? He wanted to “pack” up some magic and take it home!
What did one muggle say to the other muggle who was wearing a bucket on his head? “You must be a head of the times!”
Why did the muggle go to the library? To find a book on how to make magic tricks!
Why did the muggle go to the Quidditch game? Because he wanted to see what all the “broomaha” was about!
What did the muggle say to the wizard at the magic show? “I can’t believe my eyes, Muggle-ician!”
Why did the muggle bring an umbrella to the Quidditch match? In case it started raining broomsticks!
How do muggles send messages to each other? By texting, because owls are too slow!
Why did the muggle go to the dentist? Because he wanted to fill his “cavity” with magic!
What did the muggle say when he tried to cast a spell? “Wingardium Levio-NO!”
Why did the muggle bring a stopwatch to the magic contest? They wanted to see if the magician could make time disappear!
Because it’s completely spellbinding!
What did the muggle say to the magician? “Can you make my homework disappear?”
Why did the muggle bring a clock to the library? Because he wanted to “borrow” some time!
What did the muggle say to the wizard? “You must be a muggle, because you can’t even spell ‘magic’!”
Why did the muggle bring a mirror to the potion shop? He wanted to see if he could brew up some self-confidence!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the bakery? Because he wanted to get a pie in the sky!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to the restaurant? Because he heard the food was “illu-muggle-nating”!
What did the muggle say to the wizard? “Can you teach me how to do magic tricks? I promise I won’t tell anyone!”
How did the muggle feel after seeing a magic show? Absolutely spell-bound!
Why did the muggle bring a magnifying glass to the wizarding world? Because he wanted to see “muggle-nificent” things up close!
What did the muggle say when he saw a cat with no tail? “Looks like it got muggled!”
What did the muggle say to the computer? “I don’t know how to spell ‘muggle’, can you help me ‘Google’ it?”
Why did the muggle wear a coat while watching a Quidditch match? Because they wanted to catch the Snitch by surprise!
Why did the muggle bring a spoon to the movie theater? Because he wanted to catch the action!
Why did the muggle take their pet cat to Hogwarts? Because they heard it could turn into a lion!
What do you call a muggle who can’t find his way through a maze? A “Confu-muggle”!
What do you call a muggle who can talk to animals? A “muggle-whisperer”!
How do muggles like their eggs? Non-magical!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the park? Because he wanted to play “Quidditch for Muggles”!
Why did the muggle cross the road? To get to the Quidditch match on the other side!
Why did the muggle carry a pencil sharpener to school? Because he wanted to be a little sharper!
Why did the muggle keep a ladder in his wallet? In case he needed to reach a high note!
What do you get when you cross a muggle with a wizard? A “puggle” who can only do tricks!
Because he wanted to check out some spellbinding books!
What do you call a muggle with a cold? A sneezy Mugglebee!
Why did the muggle bring a pencil to the zoo? To draw the animals!
What did the muggle say to the computer? “Google it!”
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard with a pet dragon? “I guess you’ve found a very hot companion!”
Why did the muggle bring an umbrella to a magic show? Because he heard it was going to be “spellbinding”!
What do you get when you cross a muggle with a frog? A prince who can’t do magic!
Why did the muggle bring a pencil and paper to the magic show? They wanted to take “note” of all the tricks!
What did the muggle say when he saw a flying broomstick? “I think I’ll stick to my bicycle!”
Why did the muggle take a ruler to Hogwarts? To see if the spells were “wand-erful”!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard using a wand? “Hey, can I borrow that to clean my room?”
Why did the muggle bring a umbrella to the potions class? They heard the professor was a “wizard” at making things explode!
How does a muggle send a letter to a wizard? By “spell-ing” it out!
Why did the muggle wear a hat with bunny ears? They thought it would help them pull a rabbit out of a hat, like a magician!
What do you call a muggle who can’t find his wand? A seeker without a snitch!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to the magic show? To see the tricks in the dark like a wizard!
How do you make a muggle laugh on a hot day? Tell them a “punny” joke!
Why did the muggle become a professional gardener? They wanted to learn how to make real magic with plants, since they couldn’t do it with a wand!
What did the muggle say when they saw a flying broomstick? “Is that the latest model of a Swiffer?”
Why did the muggle think wizards were good at math? Because they can “magically” make numbers disappear in equations!
Why did the muggle bring a suitcase to the Quidditch match? They thought they were going on a trip!
What do you call a muggle who can’t make a potion? A “potion-impaired” muggle!
Why did the muggle wear a helmet while watching a magic show? He didn’t want his mind to be blown!
A “Snitch”er!
What do you call a muggle who pretends to be a wizard? A wannabe-witch!
Why did the muggle always carry a pencil and paper? So he could draw his own magic wand!
How did the muggle fix his broken wand? With a spell called “Super Glu-mus!”
Why did the muggle go to the movie theater with a ladder? Because he heard they had a great “climactic” scene!
What did the muggle say when he found out he won the lottery? “Now I can finally buy a real magic wand!”
Why did the muggle go to the library? To borrow a book on “Muggle-ic”!
Why did the muggle go to the dentist? Because he wanted to improve his “tooth-muggle” skills!
Why did the muggle go to the bakery? Because he wanted to try some “normal” bread!
What do you call a muggle who tries to cast a spell but fails? A bumble-bumble!
How do you spot a muggle at a magic show? They’re the ones who are amazed by everything!
What do you get when you mix a muggle and a wizard? “Hilar-muggle-us” fun!
How did the muggle feel after trying to cast a spell? Con-fused!
What do muggles use to clean their broomsticks? “Dust-eril” wipes!
Why did the muggle take a nap on the pizza? He wanted to wake up with a pizza his mind!
Why did the muggle bring a spoon to the park? Because he wanted to dig for ice cream!
How did the muggle react when they saw a wizard disappear? They said, “Now you see me, now you muggle!”
What do you get when you mix a muggle with a wizard? A mugwump! (A muggle who knows a little magic).
Why did the muggle put their wand in the refrigerator? Because they wanted to have “cool” magic!
Why did the muggle become a magician? Because they wanted to “trick” their friends into thinking they had magical powers!
What did the muggle say to the wizard at the coffee shop? “Can I have a ‘mugglaccino’ please?”
How do you make a muggle’s day? Give them a magic wand and tell them it’s real!
How do you know if a muggle has been using magic? Their spellbook is full of “muggle-laneous” spells!
Why was the muggle confused when he saw a broomstick? Because he thought it was a “flying mop”!
How did the muggle react when he saw a magic trick? He said, “Wow, that’s just like technology from the future!”
What do you call a muggle who can never find their keys? A “muggle-lost”!
Why did the muggle wear earmuffs to the Quidditch match? Because he didn’t want to hear any “foul” language!
What did the muggle say when he saw a wizard wearing a pointy hat? “Are you trying to start a new fashion trend?”
Because he didn’t want to get “muggled” up in the wrong place!
How did the muggle magician make his wand disappear? He shouted, “Muggle-morphus!” and put it in his pocket!
Why did the muggle bring a fan to the Quidditch match? Because he wanted to support his favorite team with air support!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to check out the spell-binding books on the highest shelves!
How did the muggle react when they saw a wizard making things disappear? They said, “Wow, that’s abracadabra-crazy!”
What do muggles say when they see a flying broomstick? “Hey, where can I get one of those magical vacuums?”
Why did the muggle wear a cape to school? To pretend he was a wizard during recess!
What do muggles use to brew their potions? A microwave!
Why did the muggle go to the library? They wanted to check out the book, “Muggles 101: A Beginner’s Guide”
What do muggles use to communicate with owls? “H-owl-ophones”!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard flying on a broomstick? “You must be a real high-flyer!”
Because he wanted to see the tricks in the spotlight!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to the park? Because they thought it was a magic wand!
What do you call a muggle who can’t tell the difference between a troll and a house-elf? Confused!
Why did the muggle bring a ruler to Hogwarts? Because he heard they measured success in inches!
What do you call a muggle who can’t make up his mind? A waffling muggle!
Why did the muggle become a detective? Because he wanted to solve the case of the missing wands!
Why did the muggle get a job at Gringotts Bank? Because they heard it was the safest place to keep their non-magical money!
What did the muggle say to the magician? “Pick a card, any card… except the one that says ‘muggle’ on it!”
What did the muggle do when he saw a sign that said “Wet Floor”? He got a mop and bucket and started cleaning!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to the library? Because he wanted to read “spell-binders”!
Why did the muggle go to the potion store? Because he wanted to try some magical concoctions… with no actual magic, of course!
Why did the muggle bring a ruler to the magic show? To see if the magician measured up!
What do you call a muggle who can’t find their way through Diagon Alley? A lost cause!
Why was the muggle running around his bed? He was trying to catch up on his sleep!
Why did the muggle take a ruler to bed? To see how “long” he could sleep without dreaming of magic!
Why did the muggle take a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept like a wizard!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to bed? In case they needed to cast a spell in the dark!
What do you call a muggle who tells jokes? A “wiz-kidder”!
What do you get when you cross a muggle with a unicorn? A “Mythical Muggle”!
What do you call a muggle’s favorite type of music? “Muggle-pop”!
Why did the muggle put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets!
Why did the muggle take a shower with his clothes on? Because he wanted to have a soap opera!
What did the muggle do when he found out his pencil was broken? He yelled, “Pencil-vania!”
What do you get when you mix a muggle with a wizard? A muggle-wizard who can do half-magic!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to Hogwarts? Because they heard they needed a “bright” idea to find their way around!
He said, “Can you give my mom a ride to work? She hates traffic!”
What do muggles call a wand that doesn’t work? A stick!
What do you call a muggle who accidentally wanders into Diagon Alley? Lost and “muggle-nificent”!
What do you call a muggle who can’t find their way around the magical world? “Muggle-navigated”!
A “Volkswizard”!
Why did the muggle bring a fishing rod to the library? Because he wanted to catch up on his reading!
How do muggles get around without a magical broomstick? They use a “muggle-mobile” instead!
What do muggles use to catch magical creatures? A regular net!
Why did the muggle bring an umbrella to the Quidditch game? They heard there was a “shower” of goals!
Why did the muggle wear a watch to the zoo? Because he wanted to see a crocodile’s second hand!
Why did the muggle take their pet goldfish to the magic show? They wanted to see if it could swim in thin air!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to the magic show? Because he wanted to see the “wands” up close!
Why did the muggle refuse to enter the wizarding world? They were too scared they might accidentally turn someone into a toad instead of just getting a frog in their throat!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the park? Because they heard the slide was a real “magical” experience!
Why did the muggle bring a broom to school? Because they wanted to “sweep” up some magical knowledge!
What do you call a muggle who can’t fly a broomstick? A ground-dwelling wizard!

Muggle Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t enjoy a good muggle joke?

Muggle jokes for adults take the humor up a notch, combining an intricate knowledge of the Harry Potter series with an adult sense of wit and wordplay.

Just like a carefully brewed potion at Hogwarts, these jokes mix elements of humor, intelligence, and a sprinkle of naughtiness for a spellbinding laugh.

These jokes are perfect for book club meetings, movie nights, or simply to lighten the mood during a serious discussion among Potterhead friends.

Here are some muggle jokes that are perfect for adults:

What do you call a Muggle with a PhD? A know-it-Muggle!
Why did the Muggle become a chef? They wanted to make magic in the kitchen!
What do you call a Muggle who is always on time? A mythical creature!
Why did the Muggle buy a wand? He wanted to see if it would make his remote control work from the couch!
How do you spot a Muggle at a magic show? They’re the ones constantly trying to debunk the tricks!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard riding a bicycle? “Well, I guess even wizards need a muggle mode of transportation sometimes!”
What’s a Muggle’s favorite spell? “Accio Pizza!” because even magic can’t resist a good slice!
Why did the muggle think they could fly on a broomstick? They misheard and thought “Wingardium Leviosa” was a low-cost airline!
What do you call a muggle who is obsessed with Harry Potter? A “Potterhead” in “muggle-clothing”!
Why did the muggle become a fan of Harry Potter? Because they were tired of living a muggle-icious life!
What did the muggle say when he saw a flying broomstick? “I guess I need to lay off the butterbeer!”
Why did the muggle bring a cauldron to the party? They wanted to brew up some muggle-ade!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the bookstore? Because they heard the books were a real page-turner!
What do you call a Muggle who tries to make a love potion? A hopeless romantic!
Why did the muggle go to the wizarding world? He wanted to learn how to magically clean his house!
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to Hogwarts? They wanted to be the brightest witch or wizard!
Why did the Muggle refuse to believe in magic? They said they couldn’t handle the spell-check!
What do you call a muggle who accidentally drinks Polyjuice Potion? A confused copycat!
Why did the muggle refuse to visit Diagon Alley? He thought it was a dangerous shopping district for geometrists!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard? “Can you make my student loans disappear?”
Why did the muggle refuse to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? They didn’t want to be sorted into a house based on a talking hat’s opinion!
What did the muggle say when they accidentally walked into Diagon Alley? “Oops, wrong turn, I was trying to get to Oxford Street!”
Why did the Muggle refuse to play Quidditch? He didn’t want to risk getting a “Snitch” in the face!
How did the muggle react when they saw a wizard using a levitation spell? They exclaimed, “Well, that’s one way to avoid traffic!”
Why did the muggle become a magician’s assistant? They wanted to experience the magical world without actually having any powers!
Why did the Muggle start a YouTube channel? They wanted to document their journey to becoming a wizard!
Why did the Muggle go to the doctor after watching a Harry Potter movie? He thought he caught a case of “spellbinding” fever!
What do you call a Muggle who’s afraid of heights? A grounddweller!
What did the Muggle say when he found out about the wizarding world? “I must be under a spell, because this is wand-erful!”
Why did the Muggle refuse to believe in magic? He said it was all just a bunch of hocus pocus!
What did the muggle say to the wizard who couldn’t find his wand? “You must have misplaced it in your non-magical realm!”
Why did the muggle bring a camera to Hogwarts? They thought they could capture the magic on film!
Why did the Muggle get lost in the wizarding world? They thought “platform 9¾” was just a random graffiti on a wall!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the Quidditch game? Because they heard the players were always reaching new heights!
Why did the Muggle bring a wand to the beach? He wanted to cast “Sunshineus Relaxus”!
Why did the Muggle become a stand-up comedian? He wanted to make sure he always had a wand in his hand!
Why did the Muggle try to use a cell phone in Diagon Alley? He thought it was a magical communication device called a “cellardoor”!
What did the muggle say after accidentally stumbling upon Diagon Alley? “Guess I took a wrong turn at the grocery store!”
Why don’t Muggles play Quidditch? Because they can’t handle the broomstick traffic!
Why did the Muggle try to become a wizard? He thought it would help him find his car keys!
How do muggles react when they learn about the existence of witches and wizards? They say, “That’s magical, but I’ll stick to technology!”
What did the muggle say to the wizard who was terrible at magic tricks? “Maybe you should stick to card games instead!”
Why did the Muggle take up knitting? They thought they could “purl” some magic into their lives!
What did the Muggle say when they saw a wizard? “I must be dreaming… or you must be a muggle pretending to be a wizard!”
Why did the Muggle bring a ladder to the library? Because they heard they could check out Hogwarts books on the highest shelf!
Why did the muggle enroll in a magical dance class? Because they wanted to learn some spell-binding moves!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the Quidditch match? To reach the snitch-stands!
Why did the Muggle bring a ladder to the bookstore? Because they heard the books were magical and wanted to reach for the spellbinding tales!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard levitating? “Wow, I didn’t know the laws of physics were so flexible!”
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the library? Because he heard it had a lot of spells on the top shelf!
What did the muggle say when asked about the Wizarding World? “I’ve had enough of those Hairy Plotter books!”
Why did the Muggle go to the bank with a ladder? They heard they could get a high-interest rate!
Why did the muggle become friends with the wizard? They wanted to experience a little “muggle magic” themselves!
Why did the muggle enroll in a magic school? He thought it was Hogwarts for the mentally gifted!
Why did the muggle go to the fortune teller? They wanted to know their future in the muggle world!
Why did the muggle refuse to play Quidditch? He couldn’t understand why they didn’t just use brooms to sweep the field!
Why did the Muggle apply for a job at Gringotts Bank? He thought they were giving out free gold bars!
Why did the muggle try to use a broomstick as a vacuum cleaner? They thought it would magically clean their house!
Why did the Muggle bring a broom to the library? He heard they had a book on witchcraft!
How do Muggles greet each other? With a handshake, because high-fives are too magical!
Why did the Muggle think the Sorting Hat was a fashion accessory? He thought it was a trendy hat that could tell him his style!
Why did the muggle start attending Hogwarts in their 40s? They were tired of being a muggle and wanted to be a wizarding middle-ager!
Why was the muggle’s attempt to cast a spell unsuccessful? They were using a “no-magic” remote control!
What did the muggle say to the wizard? “Can you show me a spell that can fix my bank account?”
Why did the muggle cross the road? To see if the magical world was on the other side!
Why did the muggle break up with their magical partner? They couldn’t handle all the “spell-casting” drama!
Why did the Muggle think he could defeat Voldemort? He watched too many superhero movies!
What do you call a muggle who tries to use Lumos in the dark? A light-headed fool!
Why did the muggle go to the therapist? He had a serious case of “magical envy”!
What did the muggle say when they accidentally walked through Platform 9 3/4? “Guess I’m not platform-wizard after all!”
Why did the muggle take an umbrella to the Triwizard Tournament? He heard it was a high-stakes splash zone!
How did the muggle react when he found out about the existence of house-elves? He immediately started leaving socks all around his house!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the magic show? They heard the magician was great at disappearing acts!
What do you call a muggle who works at a magic shop? A wand-erer!
What do Muggles do when they’re bored? They try to cast spells with their TV remote!
What did one muggle say to the other while waiting in line at Diagon Alley? “This place is wand-erful, isn’t it?”
Why did the Muggle bring a dictionary to Hogwarts? He wanted to understand what all the “spell-check” was about!
Why did the muggle try to ride a broomstick? They wanted to see if it could help with their daily commute!
What did the muggle say to the wizard who tried to sell them a magic wand? “Sorry, but I already have enough trickery in my life!”
How does a Muggle get their caffeine fix? They drink “mugglebucks” instead of butterbeer!
Why did the muggle become a fan of Harry Potter? They couldn’t resist the spellbinding storyline!
Why did the muggle start a petition to ban Quidditch? They were tired of getting hit by rogue bludgers every time they went outside!
Why did the Muggle apply for a job at the Ministry of Magic? He thought it was a company that made wands!
Why did the muggle bring a suitcase full of rubber ducks to Platform 9 3/4? He heard they were the latest magical transportation trend!
Why did the Muggle refuse to play Quidditch? He couldn’t handle the broomstickstick!
What do you call a muggle who can’t find their wand? A poor excuse for a wizard!
Why did the muggle refuse to play Quidditch? They couldn’t catch a snitch even if it bit them!
Why did the muggle think Hogwarts was a cooking school? Because they heard about the great potions class!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard flying on a broomstick? “Talk about high-flying talent!”
Why did the Muggle bring a wand to the soccer game? He wanted to score some spellbinding goals!
What do you call a Muggle who tries to use Floo Powder? A chimney sweep!
Why did the muggle get kicked out of the magic show? They kept yelling, “It’s just an illusion!”
Why did the muggle ask a wizard to perform a magic trick at a party? They wanted to see if they could finally believe their eyes!
Why did the muggle fail their potions exam? They mixed up the ingredients and created an explosive disaster!
Why don’t Muggles need brooms to fly? They have cars and airplanes!
Why did the muggle go to Hogwarts? Because they heard they could finally become a muggle-born wizard!
Why did the Muggle get kicked out of Diagon Alley? He tried to pay with a credit card!
Why did the muggle go to the bakery? He wanted to buy a spell-cake!
What did the muggle say when they accidentally stumbled upon Platform 9 ¾? “Sorry, I thought this was a secret entrance to Starbucks!”
Why did the muggle ask if they could join the Quidditch team? They thought “Chasers” meant they could have a go at eating chocolate!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the magic show? Because they heard the magician was outstanding in his field!
Why did the Muggle think he could become a wizard? He saw a “Learn Magic in 7 Days” advertisement!
Why did the Muggle become a gardener? Because they wanted to experience a little bit of magic in their own backyard!
What do you call a muggle who accidentally stumbles upon the Room of Requirement? A clueless wizard wannabe!
Why did the Muggle fail the wizarding exam? He couldn’t spell “Hogwarts” correctly!
Why did the muggle think they could do magic? They saw a sign that said “Abracadabra – Open 24/7”!
Why did the muggle get a job at the Ministry of Magic? He heard they had great coffee spells!
Why did the muggle try to cast spells in the kitchen? He thought it would make his cooking magical, but all he ended up with was a hot mess!
Why did the muggle refuse to play Quidditch? They were afraid of getting “snitched” by a rogue Bludger!
Why did the muggle go to the doctor’s office with a broomstick? They thought they were suffering from “witch-itis”!
Why was the Muggle chef always stressed? He couldn’t cast any spells in the kitchen!
Why did the Muggle invite a dragon to their party? They wanted to make it a “fire-breathing” event!
Why did the muggle get a job at the Ministry of Magic? They wanted to be surrounded by people who were completely clueless too!
What do you call a muggle who can’t remember their own name? A forgetful wizard wannabe!
What did the muggle say when they saw a magic trick? “I don’t believe in wizardry, but I was still amazed!”
How did the muggle react when they found out about the existence of wizards? They said, “Well, that explains why my bills keep disappearing!”
What did the Muggle say to the wizard who lost his wand? “Are you spellbound by its disappearance?”
Why did the muggle carry a mirror everywhere they went? So they could always reflect on their lack of magical abilities!
What do you call a Muggle who is also a stand-up comedian? A “no-wizard”!
Why did the muggle try to levitate their television? They were tired of using the remote control!
Why did the Muggle join a magic show? They thought it was a support group for people with unusual hobbies!
Why did the Muggle get banned from Diagon Alley? They tried to pay for their wand with a credit card instead of galleons!
How do you make a Muggle disappear? Put their smartphone in a room without Wi-Fi!
Why did the Muggle bring a wand to the beach? He wanted to see if it could conjure up a tan!
Why did the Muggle become a stand-up comedian? They wanted to try some “wand-up” comedy!
Why did the Muggle bring a wand to the art museum? They wanted to add a little “abraca-dabra” to the paintings!
Why did the Muggle become a weather reporter? They wanted to predict when the rain of magic would fall!
Why did the Muggle go to Hogwarts? He thought it was a school for people who like hugs!
What do you call a Muggle who can’t find their car keys? A forgetful squib!
Why don’t muggles play Quidditch? They can’t find a broomstick that fits their couch potato lifestyle!
Why did the muggle fail their potions exam? They thought “Eye of Newt” was a type of sunglasses!
Why did the Muggle take his pet owl to work? He wanted to make a wise business decision!
Why did the Muggle start a bakery? He wanted to prove that he could make magic with dough!
Why did the muggle bring a camera to the Sorting Hat ceremony? They thought it was a fashion show for magical hats!
Why did the Muggle take his pet snake to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? He wanted it to learn Slytherin “hiss-terics”!
How does a muggle ask for directions in Diagon Alley? “Excuse me, can you point me to the nearest Ollivanders? I seem to have lost my way to magic!”
Why did the Muggle think Quidditch was a dangerous sport? He saw people flying on broomsticks and thought they were defying gravity laws!
Why did the Muggle get kicked out of Hogwarts? He kept trying to use his cell phone in class!
How does a muggle get their daily exercise? They chase after the Hogwarts Express!
Why don’t Muggles play Quidditch? They can’t find any broomsticks that hold their weight!
Why did the Muggle go to Diagon Alley? He heard they had a great sale on broomsticks!
What do you call a muggle who can perform magic tricks? A talentless magician with a lot of imagination!
Why did the Muggle bring a flashlight to Hogwarts? He wanted to find the “off” switch on the moving staircases!
Why did the Muggle become a fan of Harry Potter? Because he needed a magic escape from his boring job!
How do Muggles organize their potions cabinet? By alphabetical order, just like their spice rack!
Why did the muggle get kicked out of the wizarding pub? They kept ordering “Firewhiskey on the rocks”!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard flying on a broomstick? “I’ll have what they’re having!”
Why don’t Muggles play hide and seek in the forest? Because they can’t find any invisibility cloaks!
Why did the muggle get kicked out of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? They accidentally turned their wand into a carrot during a potions class!
What do you get when you cross a Muggle with a Quidditch player? A confused spectator!
What did the Muggle say when he accidentally walked into Diagon Alley? “Wow, this is some weirdly themed shopping street!”
Why did the muggle bring a flashlight to Hogwarts? They heard there were dark arts at play!
What do you get when you cross a muggle with a comedian? Someone who can’t perform magic but sure knows how to deliver a punchline!
Why did the muggle open a business selling wands? He heard there was a huge market for people who wanted to pretend they could do magic!
Why did the muggle go to the pet store in Diagon Alley? They wanted to adopt a magical creature that doesn’t require any special care or feeding!
Why did the muggle bring a broomstick to the party? Because they wanted to sweep everyone off their feet…literally!
What do you call a muggle who believes in unicorns? Delusional! They’re clearly confusing them with thestrals!
What did the muggle say when they saw a wizard using the Floo Network? “Wow, they must have a really advanced teleportation app!”
What do you call a muggle who accidentally discovers a magical secret? A muggle-icious!
Why did the muggle think the Hogwarts Express was a regular train? They were convinced it had a “platform” and “tracks” just like any other railway!
Why did the muggle take a nap at the Quidditch match? They thought it was just a bunch of broomstick enthusiasts!
Why did the muggle become a gardener? Because they heard plants don’t require any “wizardry”!
What do you call a muggle who can’t stop talking about magic? A spellbound motor-mouth!
Why did the Muggle start a band? He wanted to prove that music is the real magic!
Why did the muggle refuse to believe in magic? They thought it was all just “hocus-pocus-muggle-nonsense”!
Why did the Muggle go to the magic show? He wanted to see how the tricks were done!
What did the Muggle say when he saw a flying broomstick? “That’s some next-level Quidditch!”
How do Muggles make their coffee magical? By adding a sprinkle of caffeine potion and a dash of vanilla spell!
Why did the Muggle always carry a dictionary? So he could spell “Accio” correctly!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to Diagon Alley? He heard there was a sale on high-end wands!
What do you call a muggle who accidentally stumbled upon Diagon Alley? A clueless tourist in the wizarding world!
Why did the muggle enroll in a potions class? He wanted to impress his friends by making the perfect hangover cure!
What do you call a muggle who accidentally stumbles upon a wizarding world secret? Oblivious, that’s what!
Why did the muggle start a career as a professional Quidditch player? He wanted to prove that even without magic, he could still catch the Golden Snitch!
Why did the muggle try to use a wand to unlock their car? They thought it was the latest in keyless entry technology!
Why did the muggle take up knitting? He wanted to master the art of “pulling a rabbit out of a hat” without any magic!
What did the muggle do when he accidentally stumbled upon a secret wizard meeting? He obliviated himself and pretended it never happened!
Why did the Muggle become a fan of Harry Potter? Because they realized that even without magic, they could still enjoy a good story of hope and bravery!
What do you get when you mix a muggle with a troll? A confused individual who’s always under the bridge, but can’t do magic!
Why did the Muggle get a job at Gringotts? They wanted to feel the thrill of counting coins without any magical abilities!
Why did the muggle start a “Wizards Anonymous” support group? He couldn’t stop trying to cast spells in the real world!
Why did the muggle become a fan of Quidditch? They loved watching people chase after balls on broomsticks, just like in their dreams!
Why did the Muggle think he could become a wizard? He saw a “Learn Magic in 30 Days” ad on the back of a comic book!
What did the Muggle say when he saw a witch flying on a broomstick? “Can you give me a lift? I hate traffic!”
Why did the muggle fail their potions class? They kept confusing the ingredients with muggle household cleaning supplies!
Why did the muggle take their vacuum cleaner to the Quidditch game? They wanted to cheer for the “suck-ers”!
What did the muggle say to the wizard at the party? Is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Why did the Muggle get kicked out of the wizarding school? He tried to bribe the Sorting Hat with a Snickers bar!
How does a muggle like their coffee? Non-magical, just like their life!
Why did the muggle bring a ladder to the library? Because they heard it had all the spell-binding stories!
Why did the muggle stare at the spell book for hours? They were trying to spell-check it!
Why did the muggle refuse to buy a Nimbus 2000 broomstick? They were afraid of being called a “quiddi-quoter”!
Why did the Muggle wear earmuffs in the wizarding world? They wanted to block out all the “spell-binding” conversations!
Why did the muggle fail the magic exam? Because they couldn’t spell ‘Abracadabra’!
Why did the muggle go to the Quidditch game? They thought it was a fancy game of “soccer” on broomsticks!
What did the muggle say when he saw a photo of a magical creature? “That must be a ‘mythical’ Muggle creature!”
Why did the Muggle bring a ladder to the Forbidden Forest? To say he climbed the tree of knowledge!
Why did the Muggle go to the library with a ladder? He wanted to reach the book of spells on the highest shelf!
Why did the muggle wear a cape to work? They thought it would make their spreadsheets more enchanting!
Why did the Muggle bring a spoon to the magic show? He wanted to catch the spells!
What do you call a Muggle who accidentally finds a magical wand? A lucky charm!

Muggle Joke Generator

Conjuring up the best muggle joke can sometimes feel like trying to catch a snitch without a broomstick.

(You see the magic there?)

That’s when our FREE Muggle Joke Generator flies in to save the day.

Devised to mix amusing puns, bewitching humor, and enchanting phrases, it creates jokes that are sure to charm every Potterhead.

Don’t let your humor become as mundane as a muggle’s life.

Use our joke generator to brew up jokes that are as exciting and captivating as a Quidditch match.

FAQs About Muggle Jokes

Why are muggle jokes so popular?

Muggle jokes are popular because they play on the contrast between the magical and non-magical worlds portrayed in the Harry Potter series.

These jokes offer a humorous take on the everyday struggles of muggles (non-magic folk) and are relatable to fans of the series.

Can muggle jokes help in social situations?

Yes, muggle jokes can certainly lighten the mood in social gatherings, especially among fans of the Harry Potter series.

They are a fun way to connect and engage with others who share the same interest in the magical world.

How can I come up with my own muggle jokes?

First, familiarize yourself with the Harry Potter series, paying close attention to the differences between the muggle and wizarding worlds.
Identify common phrases or situations that can be twisted to provide a humorous take on the muggle life.
Use puns or wordplay involving terms used in the series.
Think about situations where magic would greatly simplify things, and then imagine the muggle equivalent.
Don’t be afraid to exaggerate the contrast between the two worlds for comedic effect.

Are there any tips for remembering muggle jokes?

Try associating muggle jokes with specific scenes from the Harry Potter series or link them with particular characters.

This can help you remember the joke and also add context when you share them with others.

How can I make my muggle jokes better?

The best muggle jokes come from a place of love for the Harry Potter series.

Know your audience and tailor your humor to suit them.

Keep the punchlines surprising and the scenarios relatable.

Don’t shy away from using absurdity or exaggeration, and most importantly, practice and revise your jokes to make them as funny as possible.

How does the Muggle Joke Generator work?

The Muggle Joke Generator uses a series of algorithms to create humorous and engaging muggle jokes.

By entering keywords related to the Harry Potter series or specific muggle situations, the generator can create a variety of jokes to suit your needs.

Just press the Generate Jokes button for a fresh batch of muggle humor.