610 Newspaper Jokes That Make Even Editors Laugh

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re primed to flip through the pages of newspaper jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the headline hits.

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the most humorous newspaper jokes.

From puns that’ll make headlines to witty quips, our collection has a joke for every news beat.

So, let’s dive into the ink-smudged world of newspaper humor, one joke at a time.

Newspaper Jokes

Newspaper jokes have a timeless appeal that can bring a chuckle to folks of all ages.

They’re not just about the publication itself, but the entire world of journalism it represents.

From the early morning delivery to the comic section, headlines to classifieds, newspapers offer a wealth of inspiration for comedy.

Creating the perfect newspaper joke involves a clever play on words, a satirical take on current events, and sometimes, the whimsical situations that arise from misprints or misunderstandings in newspaper articles.

Ready for some headline-worthy humor?

Dive into a fresh stack of laughter with these newspaper jokes:

  • Why don’t newspapers ever play hide-and-seek? Because they’re always in plain sight!
  • What’s a newspaper’s favorite type of dance? The headline shuffle!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the party? To get the latest scoop on the gossip!
  • Why did the newspaper go to school? To learn how to be newsworthy!
  • Why did the newspaper start a band? It wanted to be part of the headlines!
  • Why was the newspaper cold? It had all the headlines!
  • Why don’t newspapers make good comedians? Because their jokes are always a little outdated!
  • Why did the newspaper blush? It saw the comic strip in the Sunday edition and got red in the ink!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “You dot me, I’ll print you!”
  • How do newspapers exercise? They do a lot of press-ups!
  • Why did the newspaper start doing yoga? It wanted to be more flexible in delivering the news!
  • Why did the newspaper become a chef? It wanted to make headlines with its delicious recipes!
  • Why did the newspaper break up with the magazine? It found someone more current!
  • Why did the newspaper wear sunglasses? It wanted to hide the headlines!
  • What did the newspaper say to the joke book? “You’re pun-believable!”
  • Why did the newspaper start a garden? Because it wanted to grow headline-worthy stories!
  • Why do newspapers make terrible comedians? Their headlines are always a day late and a dollar short!
  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? Let’s have a press conference!
  • Why did the man bring a ladder to the newspaper office? Because he heard the paper had exclusive stories “above the fold”!
  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? “You’ve bean a great source of perk-me-up in the mornings!”
  • Why was the newspaper cold? It was caught in a draft.
  • Why did the newspaper refuse to be recycled? It wanted to keep its current events!
  • Why was the math teacher always reading the newspaper? Because she loved finding square roots!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “You can draw conclusions, but I report them!”
  • Why did the newspaper start a band? Because it wanted to share the latest “hits” with everyone!
  • What did the newspaper say to the suspicious coffee cup? “I’ve got my eye on brew!”
  • Why do newspapers make terrible fishermen? Because they always get caught up in the headlines!
  • What did the newspaper say to the comic strip? “I’m in the business of making headlines, you’re just inking around!”
  • Why did the newspaper get into a fight with the comic book? Because it thought the comic was too graphic!
  • Why did the newspaper start a garden? It wanted to report on the latest leafy developments!
  • Why did the newspaper become a comedian? It had a way with puns and headlines!
  • Why don’t skeletons read the newspaper? Because they don’t have the guts!
  • Why did the newspaper start working out? It wanted to get ripped!
  • Why do newspapers have a hard time making friends? They’re always getting caught up in headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper attend a cooking class? Because it wanted to learn how to dish out the latest news!
  • Why did the reporter bring a ladder to the news conference? To get the scoop!
  • Why did the newspaper start working out? To get in shape for the front page!
  • What did the big newspaper say to the small newspaper? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”
  • Why did the newspaper go to the art gallery? It wanted to see the headlines come to life!
  • Why don’t newspapers get sunburned? Because they have daily issues!
  • Why did the newspaper marry the coffee? Because it heard they were a perfect blend.
  • Why did the newspaper go to therapy? It had too many issues to deal with!
  • Why did the newspaper break up with the internet? It just couldn’t keep up with the news feed!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? It wanted to get ripped and make the front page.
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “You’re the headline of my story!”
  • Why was the math book always jealous of the newspaper? Because it had more problems to solve.
  • Why was the math teacher always reading the newspaper? He was looking for the solution to his problems.
  • Why was the newspaper always getting into trouble? It had a lot of breaking news.
  • Why did the newspaper become a detective? Because it was always good at breaking news!
  • Why did the newspaper start a band? It wanted to have great headlines and rock ‘n’ roll!
  • What do you call a newspaper that talks? Gossip magazine!
  • Why don’t newspapers ever win awards? Because they always get scooped!
  • Why did the scarecrow become a journalist? Because he heard it was a field with a lot of straw stories!
  • Why did the newspaper go to school? To get a little more ink-formation!
  • What did the newspaper say to the crossword puzzle? “I can’t believe you’re always so cross!”
  • Why do newspapers make terrible comedians? They always deliver yesterday’s news!
  • What did the grape say to the newspaper? “Stop wine-ing, you’re giving me a headache!”
  • Why did the newspaper break up with the magazine? It felt like it was being overshadowed by all the fashion articles!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the dance party? Because it heard it had a lot of good headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the party alone? It didn’t want to be a headline act!
  • Why did the newspaper get in trouble at school? It couldn’t stop spreading rumors!
  • Why did the newspaper become a comedian? Because it wanted to deliver headline-worthy punchlines!
  • What did the newspaper say to the comic strip? “Your jokes always make me headline with laughter!”
  • Why did the newspaper go to the art gallery? It wanted to find its headlines in a frame!
  • Why did the newspaper go on a diet? It wanted to shed some extra “pounds” of news!
  • Why did the newspaper go skydiving? It wanted to experience the thrill of free press!
  • What did the newspaper say to the joke? “You’re so funny, I’m going to print you in bold!”
  • Why did the newspaper become a police officer? It wanted to report all the breaking news!
  • Why was the newspaper always getting into trouble? It had a tendency to fold under pressure!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper? “I’m folding under the pressure!”
  • What did the newspaper say to the annoying reader? “I’m sorry, but I can’t print your nonsense.”
  • Why did the newspaper bring a ladder to the concert? Because it wanted to get a good headline view!
  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? “I’m headline over heels for you!”
  • Why don’t newspapers ever get into relationships? Because they’re committed to being single-sheet!
  • Why did the newspaper become a yoga instructor? It wanted to help people find their inner peace!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a ladder to the office? Because it wanted to climb up the corporate ladder!
  • Why do newspapers make terrible comedians? They always get their delivery wrong!
  • Why did the newspaper become an athlete? Because it wanted to make headlines in the sports section!
  • Why did the newspaper get a job at the bakery? It wanted to report on the latest doughnut scandals!
  • Why did the newspaper start running marathons? It wanted to be well-read!
  • What did the newspaper say to the jealous magazine? “Don’t get all glossy-eyed, I’m still the headline.” .
  • What did the newspaper say to the comedian? “You’re always in the headlines with your jokes!”
  • Why do newspapers make great gardeners? They always have a lot of issues to spread around.
  • Why did the newspaper take a vacation? To get some well-deserved R&R (rest and read)!
  • Why did the newspaper start a gardening club? Because it wanted to cover all the seeds!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the casino? It wanted to find the latest scoop!
  • How do newspapers greet each other? “How’s it printin’?” “Just rollin’ along!”
  • Why did the newspaper get into a fight with the dictionary? It didn’t appreciate being defined by words!
  • Why was the newspaper always getting lost? It had a tendency to newspaper-roam!
  • Why did the newspaper refuse to play cards? It was afraid of getting paper cuts!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the casino? It wanted to play Press Your Luck.
  • Why did the newspaper go to school? It wanted to be a front-page learner!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? To keep its headlines fit and toned!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other? “I’m just trying to stay informed, but you’re always spreading rumors!”
  • Why did the newspaper become an actor? It wanted to be in the headlines!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper at the gym? “Extra! Extra! We’re both getting shredded!”
  • Why did the newspaper become a doctor? It wanted to deliver the news in a timely manner!
  • What did the newspaper say to the magazine? “You’re so glossy, it’s almost news-ense!”
  • Why did the newspaper get a job at the restaurant? Because it had a lot of articles!

 

Short Newspaper Jokes

Short newspaper jokes are like the morning cup of coffee—sharp, energizing, and full of zest.

These jokes are perfect for daily chats, social media posts, or the times when you need a quick chuckle to brighten your day.

The charm of short newspaper jokes lies in their brevity and wit, providing a chuckle in just a brief sentence or two.

So, hold on to your coffee cups and reading glasses!

Here are some short newspaper jokes that will deliver a crisp laugh in just a few words.

  • Why do newspapers always win arguments? They have good circulation!
  • Why don’t skeletons read newspapers? They have no body to cover!
  • Why was the newspaper mad at the coffee? It got mugged!
  • Why did the newspaper start doing yoga? It wanted to stay well-informed!
  • Why did the newspaper file a police report? It got mugged!
  • Why was the newspaper stressed out? It couldn’t find its headlines!
  • What do you call a ghost that reads newspapers? The news-phant!
  • Why was the newspaper sad? Its headlines were feeling a bit flat!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? I’m ink-lined to you!
  • What do you call a newspaper that gets angry? The hot press!
  • Why do newspapers make terrible comedians? Their headlines fall flat!
  • Why did the newspaper start exercising? To get more news-les!
  • What do you call a newspaper that flies? A news-copter!
  • Why did the newspaper wear sunglasses? It didn’t want to be spotted!
  • Why did the newspaper get a promotion? It always delivers the news!
  • Why did the scarecrow read the newspaper? To find some “corny” jokes!
  • What’s a newspaper’s favorite dance move? The breaking news shuffle!
  • What’s a newspaper’s favorite type of music? The latest hits-tory!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “You’re looking sharp today!”
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? I’m a big headline!
  • What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? Stop the press!
  • Why don’t newspapers make good friends? They’re always spreading rumors!
  • What do you call a grumpy newspaper? A cranky newsprint!
  • How does a newspaper greet its readers? With “headline” waves!
  • What did the newspaper say to the smartphone? Stop stealing my thunder!
  • How does a newspaper greet its readers? “Hello, headlines!”
  • What do you call a newspaper with no gossip? Unbelievable news!
  • Why don’t skeletons like reading newspapers? Because they don’t have the guts!
  • Why do newspapers hate math? Because it involves too many stories!
  • Why did the scarecrow start reading the newspaper? It wanted some straw-telligence!
  • Why did the scarecrow become a journalist? It heard the corn-ucopia!
  • What did the newspaper say to the annoying journalist? “Stop press-ing me!”

 

Newspaper Jokes One-Liners

Newspaper jokes one-liners are a powerhouse of humor condensed into a single sentence.

They’re the linguistic equivalent of the daily morning routine – quick, refreshing, and indispensable to start your day.

Creating a memorable one-liner calls for a mix of wit, accuracy, and a profound grasp of the irony that often underlies our daily headlines.

The challenge lies in crafting a joke with the setup and punchline smartly contained in one compact statement, delivering a power-packed humorous punch with minimal words.

Here’s hoping these newspaper one-liners make your day’s headlines in the laughter department:

  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? I’ll cover you in the morning!
  • I asked my dog if he wanted to read the newspaper. He replied, “I’m more of a Lab-report kind of guy!”
  • I tried to subscribe to a newspaper, but they told me I needed to get my life delivered first.
  • I saw an article in the newspaper that said “Psychic Arrested.” I guess they didn’t see that coming.
  • I told my newspaper that it’s always so depressing, it said, “Well, I’m just delivering the news, it’s not my fault if the world is a mess!”
  • I read an article about a paperless newspaper. It was quite tear-jerking.
  • I saw a newspaper that was so thin; it made me wonder if it had gone on a press diet.
  • I accidentally gave my dog a newspaper to chew on. Now he’s making headlines in the doggy world!
  • I asked the newspaper if they could sponsor my marathon, but they said they couldn’t cover the distance.
  • Why did the newspaper take up knitting? It wanted to make front page news with its purls of wisdom.
  • I bought a newspaper and it came with a free magnifying glass. It’s all about the small print.
  • I wanted to become a newspaper writer, but I couldn’t handle the pressure of deadlines.
  • I thought about becoming a newspaper reporter, but I couldn’t handle the headlines.
  • I asked my newspaper if it had any advice on how to be more productive, and it just stared back at me with its blank pages.
  • Why did the newspaper start a band? Because it had a lot of ink-linations for music.
  • I tried to read a newspaper while doing yoga, but I ended up in a headline pose.
  • I tried to read the newspaper while doing a handstand, but I ended up with headlines over heels.
  • My friend asked if I knew how to fold a newspaper. I replied, “Of course, I’m always up on the “fold” news!”
  • I bought a newspaper that had a headline that said, “Psychic wins lottery.” I guess they saw it coming.
  • I read the newspaper every day… just kidding, I use it to line my birdcage.
  • Why did the newspaper become a judge? It wanted to deliver fair and balanced reports!
  • I asked my newspaper if it had any breaking news. It replied, “No, I’m just here to deliver the headlines.”
  • My newspaper is so outdated, it still has a classifieds section for finding dinosaur trainers.
  • What did one newspaper say to the other? “I’m in the business of making headlines, not friends.”
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? It wanted to stay in shape, even if it was only paper-thin.
  • I started reading a newspaper article about procrastination, but I’ll finish it later.
  • Why did the newspaper go on a diet? Because it wanted to lose the extra weight of all those ads!
  • My newspaper company went out of business because the only headline they ever printed was “Extra! Extra!”
  • Why did the newspaper go to therapy? It was tired of being printed on bad paper and wanted to work on its issues!
  • I quit my job at the newspaper. It was just a lot of copy and paste.
  • I bought a newspaper today, but it was all blank. Turns out it was the Daily Void!
  • I submitted a joke to the newspaper, but they rejected it. They said it wasn’t newsworthy, but I thought it was headline material!
  • My newspaper said it was going on a diet because it was tired of being extra broadsheet.
  • What did the newspaper say when it won the lottery? “I’m making headlines today!”
  • Why did the newspaper go to the doctor? It had a lot of news that was hard to digest!
  • I bought a newspaper just to feel like a detective as I tried to solve the crossword puzzle. Turns out, I’m more of a “word-search” kind of detective.
  • Why did the newspaper hire a comedian? It wanted some “headlines” that would make people laugh!
  • I tried to use a newspaper as a picnic blanket, but it kept giving me articles about ants.
  • Why did the scarecrow subscribe to the newspaper? Because he wanted to stay abreast of current events!
  • I tried to catch the newspaper thief, but he was always one step ahead – headline news!
  • My friend asked me how I stay updated on the news, I said, “Simple, I just make headlines of my own!”
  • I submitted a joke to the newspaper, but they refused to print it. They said it was too newsworthy.
  • I found a newspaper from 1990 in my attic, and it’s crazy how outdated the “future technology” section is.
  • I saw a newspaper article titled “How to lose weight in 10 days.” I laughed and thought, “Just pick up a newspaper and read the headlines, that’ll do it.”
  • I tried to make a newspaper out of recycled paper, but it didn’t make headlines.
  • I asked my newspaper if it could predict the future, it said, “I can give you yesterday’s news today!”
  • Newspapers are just like my crush: they never print my love letters.
  • Why did the newspaper feel lonely? It couldn’t find any good reporters to share its stories.
  • I told my newspaper a joke, but it didn’t laugh. It said, “I’ve already read it before, it’s old news.”
  • I tried to catch a newspaper, but it was too fast. It flew off the Press!
  • I read somewhere that newspapers are a dying breed, but I refuse to believe it until I see it on the front page.
  • I love reading the newspaper, it’s a great way to remind myself that my problems aren’t front page news.
  • What did the newspaper say to the detective? “I have some breaking news!”
  • What did the newspaper say to the coupon? I’ll cut you out of my life!
  • I tried to teach my dog to fetch the newspaper, but he kept bringing back old issues.
  • Why did the newspaper become a detective? It wanted to uncover the truth, even if it meant making headlines with its snooping.
  • I used to work at a newspaper, but they couldn’t handle my headlines. They said they were too pun-ishing.
  • My local newspaper’s horoscope predicted a bright future, so I switched to a newspaper with a more realistic weather forecast.
  • The newspaper headline read, “Man arrested for stealing a calendar… He got twelve months.”
  • I wanted to become a journalist, but my dreams were crushed when I realized I can’t even fold a newspaper properly.
  • I stopped buying the newspaper because I heard it was a dying medium. Now I just get my news from the fortune cookies.
  • Why did the newspaper become a comedian? It had a great sense of headline.
  • I wanted to become a journalist, but I realized that making up stories is only acceptable when you work for a newspaper.
  • I once tried to catch a newspaper thief, but they managed to make a clean getaway.
  • I used to deliver newspapers, but I quit because the headlines were too depressing.
  • I once submitted an article to a newspaper about the benefits of sleeping in. They rejected it, saying it didn’t make the cut.
  • I tried to read a newspaper while running on the treadmill, but I ended up making headline news as the guy who fell off!
  • Why did the newspaper get a job as a bartender? It wanted to serve up some breaking news.
  • I got into an argument with my newspaper. It claimed to have the last word, but I disagreed.
  • I used to read the newspaper, but I got tired of the obituary section.
  • The newspaper editor had a lot of ink-lings about his job.
  • I started a newspaper for introverts, but it didn’t have any subscribers because they never opened it.
  • What did the newspaper say to the crossword puzzle? I’m getting tired of all these clues.
  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough, so I switched to selling newspapers.
  • My friend asked me if I still read the newspaper, I said, “I only use it as a prop for my coffee table.” .
  • I read a newspaper article about a guy who stole a calendar. His days are numbered now!
  • Why did the newspaper become a comedian? It wanted to deliver some good news for a change.
  • I tried to make my newspaper into a paper airplane, but it just ended up being a regular plane crash.
  • I recently started buying a newspaper every day. It’s my new daily “tree”-t!
  • My newspaper keeps telling me to catch up on current events, but I prefer to stay in a comfortable state of ignorance.
  • I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
  • Did you hear about the newspaper that won an award? It was outstanding in its field!
  • I tried to start a newspaper about puns, but it didn’t work out. It turned out to be a headline failure!
  • I read in the newspaper that breaking news is bad for your TV screen, so I switched to gently opening it.
  • I bought a newspaper just to see if the crossword puzzle was as difficult as everyone said it was. Turns out, they were right. I couldn’t even understand the clues!
  • I bought a newspaper to keep up with current events, but it just turned into a daily reminder of my ignorance.
  • I asked my newspaper delivery guy if he ever gets tired of his job, and he replied, “No, it’s just the same old news every day.”
  • I used to work at a newspaper, but I couldn’t handle the paper cuts.
  • I asked my newspaper if it wanted to go on a date, but it said it already had a lot of issues.
  • Why did the newspaper go on a diet? It wanted to lose some weight, but it couldn’t stop adding extra pages!
  • I told my friend I wanted to start a newspaper, and he said, “That’s old news, I’m already starting a holographic news channel.”
  • Did you hear about the newspaper that won the lottery? It was a million-to-one story.
  • I used to work at a newspaper, but my career got folded.
  • Why did the newspaper get in trouble? It couldn’t stop making tabloid mistakes!
  • I tried to become a journalist, but I couldn’t handle the pressure – it was just too newsworthy for me.
  • I read an article about paper, it was tearable.
  • I asked my newspaper if it wanted to go for a jog, but it said it’s already been running all day with all the breaking news.
  • I told my dad that I wanted to work for a newspaper, and he said, “That’s news to me!”
  • My friend tried to impress me by balancing a stack of newspapers on his head. I was not impressed, I’ve already seen the headlines.
  • I asked my newspaper if it had any good jokes. It replied, “Sorry, I’m all headlines and no punchlines.” .
  • I used to think that reading the newspaper made me more intelligent, until I started reading the comments section.
  • I’ve been writing obituaries for the local newspaper, it’s a dying industry.
  • I thought about subscribing to a newspaper, but then I remembered that my Twitter feed is already full of fake news for free.
  • What do you call a newspaper that’s always late? Olds!
  • I tried to make a paper airplane out of a newspaper, but it didn’t fly. It just gave me news of its impending crash.
  • Why did the newspaper start exercising? To stay in print shape.
  • Why did the newspaper refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to fold under pressure!
  • I tried reading a newspaper upside down, but the headline still didn’t make any sense.
  • I read an article about a man who survived on a desert island by eating only newspapers. It was Times New Roman-tic.
  • I told my friend I’d been reading the newspaper all morning, and they said, “Wow, you must be a really slow reader.” Ouch.
  • Why did the newspaper break up with the scissors? It couldn’t handle the cuttings!
  • I wanted to work at the newspaper, but they said I couldn’t handle the headlines.
  • I tried to make a paper airplane out of my newspaper, but it just ended up in a re-cycled bin.
  • The newspaper editor was fired for making too many headlines.
  • I always get excited when I see my name in the newspaper… except for the obituary section.
  • I asked my newspaper if it could tell me a joke, it said, “Sure, just turn to the editorial section!”
  • I’m convinced my newspaper is secretly judging me… every time I open it, it says, “You’re still here?”
  • I asked my newspaper if it was feeling well, it said it was just a little under the weather.
  • I tried to cancel my newspaper subscription, but they said it was a news that couldn’t be stopped.
  • I asked the newspaper if it had any dating advice, it said, “Just look for someone who’s been in the obituaries section the least.” .
  • Why did the newspaper become an artist? Because it wanted to draw attention.
  • I subscribed to a newspaper, but all I got was the obituary section… I guess that’s my final subscription.
  • Why did the newspaper get a pet? It wanted a headline-hunting dog.
  • I tried to make a paper airplane out of a newspaper, but it just kept crashing into the classifieds section.
  • I bought a newspaper, but it was a terrible investment. It’s just filled with bad news!
  • I saw a headline that said, “Newspapers are going out of print.” I thought, “Well, that’s news to me!”
  • I told my boss I needed a raise because I couldn’t make ends meet with my newspaper salary. He handed me a pair of scissors and said, “Start here.” .
  • I tried to sell old newspapers online, but people just kept saying they were too current.
  • I asked the newspaper if they could publish an article about my excellent memory, but they said they couldn’t remember to do it.
  • What’s the difference between a newspaper and a husband? You can’t make the newspaper listen to your problems!
  • I told the newspaper it needed to exercise more, but it just couldn’t handle the running headlines!
  • I tried to catch the newspaper thief, but it was a headline case!
  • I decided to start reading the newspaper… it’s a pretty exciting way to see yesterday’s news.
  • I asked my newspaper if it had any jokes, but it replied, “Sorry, I’m always so serious. I can’t even fold myself into a paper airplane.”
  • I saw a newspaper at the gym, and when I asked why it was working out, it replied, “I’m trying to stay in the best print shape.”
  • I asked the newspaper if it wanted to hear a joke, but it said it wasn’t interested because it had already been folded too many times.
  • I read the newspaper every day, but I still can’t figure out why the paperboy is always running late. Maybe he’s just trying to deliver the breaking news!
  • I saw a headline that said “Newspaper editor found dead.” I thought, “That’s news to me!”
  • I read an article that said newspapers are good for cleaning windows. Now my neighbors think I’m a journalist with a very dirty house.
  • I asked my newspaper if it had any dating advice, and it said, “Just look for someone who can read between the headlines.”
  • I asked my newspaper for a raise, but it said it couldn’t afford to give me a headline salary.
  • I submitted a joke to the newspaper, but they rejected it. It seems they couldn’t find the punchline!
  • I wanted to become a journalist, but then I realized I didn’t have the time to ink about it.
  • Why did the newspaper start taking yoga classes? It wanted to find inner peace, even if it was filled with headlines.
  • I tried to write an article about the benefits of newspapers, but it ended up being tearable.
  • I wanted to start a newspaper about chefs, but it folded because it couldn’t handle the heat.
  • I accidentally swallowed some news headlines. Now I have a front-page stomachache.
  • I tried to catch up on current events, but the newspaper kept running away from me.
  • I once submitted a joke to the newspaper, but they refused to print it. I guess it didn’t make headlines.
  • I told the newspaper editor that he was not good at his job. He replied, “Well, that’s just my press-onality!”
  • I went to a newspaper stand and asked for a copy of yesterday’s news. The vendor looked at me like I was from a different era.
  • What do you call a newspaper that can’t stop dancing? The latest edition of the shimmy times.
  • I tried to make a paper airplane out of a newspaper, but it wasn’t very flyable.
  • What did the newspaper say to the gossip magazine? Stop spreading lies, you’re giving us a bad press.
  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? Let’s get brewing and make headlines together.
  • What did the newspaper say to the journalist? “Extra! Extra! Read all about it, you’re the headline now!”
  • I submitted a pun about newspapers to a contest, but it didn’t make headlines. It was buried on the obituary page.

 

Newspaper Dad Jokes

Newspaper dad jokes are sure to make you cringe and chuckle simultaneously.

They carry the classic dad humor, filled with puns, wordplay, and a unique twist on daily headlines.

These jokes are terrible in the best possible way and great for water cooler conversations, family dinners, or just for a random laugh.

Get ready for some eye-rolls and hearty laughs.

Here are some newspaper dad jokes that will definitely make your day:

  • What did the newspaper say to the suspicious article? “I can’t print this, it’s too sketchy!”
  • Why did the newspaper bring a ladder to the baseball game? Because it heard the pitcher had a high fly ball!
  • Why did the newspaper stop playing hide-and-seek? Because it couldn’t “cover” itself properly.
  • Why did the newspaper bring a flashlight to the meeting? It wanted to shed some light on the subject!
  • Did you hear about the newspaper’s new job? It got hired to deliver the news!
  • What’s a newspaper’s favorite type of music? Headlines and beats!
  • What did the newspaper say to the annoying headline? You’re really starting to get on my nerves-paper!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the beach? It wanted to catch some waves… of information!
  • Why do newspapers make terrible chefs? They always get newsed to burning things!
  • Why did the newspaper take a nap? Because it was exhausted from all the news it had to cover!
  • What did the newspaper say to the police officer? I’ve got a lead on the story!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the beach? To catch some current events!
  • Why don’t newspapers make good detectives? They always get caught up in the headlines.
  • Why did the newspaper become a teacher? Because it wanted to educate the headlines of tomorrow!
  • What’s the newspaper’s favorite type of music? The daily newsic!
  • What do you call a newspaper that’s been burned? Old news.
  • What did the newspaper say to the comic strip? “I’m the headline act around here!”
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper at the party? “I’ve got you covered!”
  • Why don’t newspapers make good pets? You always have to change their litter.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like the headline in today’s newspaper!
  • Why did the newspaper never win a race? It always got beat by the deadlines!
  • Why did the newspaper refuse to do stand-up comedy? It didn’t want to be a “news-joke”!
  • Why did the newspaper go to school? To get educated on current events!
  • What’s the most popular section in the newspaper for dogs? The “Puppy Classifieds”
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? It wanted to stay fit and report on the latest fitness trends!
  • Why did the newspaper take up gardening? It wanted to cover all the latest stories!
  • Why was the newspaper cold? It forgot to close the window before going to press!
  • Why did the newspaper go on a date with a pencil? They wanted to make headlines together!
  • Why did the newspaper become an actor? Because it wanted to be the headline act and steal the show!
  • Why did the newspaper become a detective? It wanted to uncover all the headlines and solve the mysteries!
  • Why did the newspaper take a vacation? It needed to press pause and relax!
  • Why don’t newspapers ever get into fights? Because they always “turn the page”
  • Why did the scarecrow subscribe to the newspaper? Because he heard it had outstanding “corn-tent”
  • What do you call a newspaper that’s obsessed with working out? A press!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the comedy club? It wanted to get a good story and make people laugh!
  • Why did the newspaper get in trouble at school? Because it was spreading too much gossip!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? Because it wanted to stay in the best shape (sheet) possible!
  • Did you hear about the newspaper’s wedding? It was a pretty big spread!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the art exhibition? It wanted to cover the headline news!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? To stay in the best shape of the press.
  • Why did the newspaper become a chef? Because it always had the scoop on the latest recipes!
  • Why did the newspaper start a band? Because it wanted to make headlines with its “punny” music!
  • What did the newspaper say to the detective? I’ve got some breaking news for you.
  • Why was the newspaper always tired? Because it stayed up-to-date!
  • Why was the newspaper cold? Because it had too many drafts!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the dance? Because it heard it was going to be a headline event.
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper at the party? “I feel like we’re always folding under the pressure!”
  • What did the newspaper say to the boring article? “I’m done with this story, it’s just not my type!”
  • Why do newspapers make good detectives? They always uncover the truth.
  • Why did the newspaper start working out? It wanted to be fit enough to handle all the breaking news!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other at the party? “I’m just here for the headlines!”
  • Why do newspapers make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always a little dated!
  • How do newspapers greet each other? With headlines and handshakes.
  • Why did the newspaper go to school? To become a paper scholar!
  • Why did the newspaper wear sunglasses? Because it had a lot of bright headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the party? Because it wanted to spread some news!
  • Why did the newspaper break up with its longtime partner? Because they had too many issues!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “I dot all my i’s and cross all my t’s, but you just draw attention!”
  • What did the newspaper say to the comic strip? “You crack me up every time, you’re my daily “funnies” fix!”
  • What do you call a newspaper that’s been recycled multiple times? “Extra, extra, extra, extra, extra… read all about it”
  • How do newspapers greet each other? They say “What’s news with you?”
  • Why did the newspaper become a comedian? Because it had a funny paper!+.
  • Why did the newspaper bring an umbrella? It heard it might be scattered showers!
  • What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? Attire.
  • Why do newspapers make great comedians? They always deliver the punchlines!
  • Why did the newspaper go to therapy? Because it had been holding in too many headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper start a band? Because it had a lot of stories to share in different notes.
  • Did you hear about the kidnapping at the newspaper office? They woke up with the headline “Print Gone Missing!”
  • Why did the newspaper go on a diet? Because it wanted to be “light” reading material.
  • Why did the scarecrow buy a newspaper? Because he wanted to keep up with current events in the cornfield!
  • Why do newspapers make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are always in black and white!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the hair salon? It wanted a new headline style!
  • Why did the newspaper go on a diet? It wanted to cut out the tabloids and focus on more balanced reporting!
  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? “Let’s get brewing, it’s time for the daily grind!”
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper? “I feel like we’re being recycled here.”
  • Why did the newspaper go to the art exhibition? To see the headlines!
  • Why don’t newspapers get married? Because they’re always getting involved in other people’s business!
  • Why do newspapers never take a vacation? Because they’re always pressed for time.
  • Why did the newspaper go to the comedy club? Because it wanted to get some good headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper become a musician? Because it wanted to be in the headlines and make headlines!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “You’ve got some great news-lead.” .
  • Why did the newspaper go to the casino? It wanted to try its luck on the headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to get the scoop from the top!
  • What do you call a newspaper that’s on fire? Hot off the press!
  • Why was the newspaper cold? Because it left on a chilly morning edition!
  • Why did the newspaper start working out? Because it wanted to be a well-read publication!
  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? “I’m your daily source of brews!”
  • Why don’t newspapers ever get into arguments? They always hold the headlines!
  • What did the newspaper say to the joke? “That’s not newsworthy, it’s old news!”
  • Why did the newspaper start taking boxing lessons? It wanted to deliver some knockout headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the art museum? It wanted to learn about the fine print!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the therapist? It had some serious issues with its ink!
  • What did the reporter say to the ghost who haunted the newspaper office? “I need a good story, but nothing too ghastly!”
  • Why did the newspaper go to therapy? Because it had a lot of issues to work through!
  • What do you call a dinosaur who loves reading the newspaper? A newso-saurus!
  • Why did the newspaper become a chef? Because it wanted to dish out the latest recipes and cook up a good story!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? To get a little extra circulation.
  • What do you call a fish reading a newspaper? An eel-ectrician!
  • Why did the newspaper visit the doctor? Because it had a circulation problem!
  • Why was the newspaper always so well-informed? Because it had a lot of contacts!
  • Why did the newspaper file a police report? It was being targeted by bad puns!
  • Why did the newspaper enroll in acting classes? It wanted to get into character!
  • Why did the newspaper get a job at the bakery? Because it wanted to deliver the daily bread!
  • What do you call a newspaper that can play music? The Daily News-ical!

 

Newspaper Jokes for Kids

Newspaper jokes for kids bring a fresh twist to the classic pastime of joke-telling.

In a world often dominated by screens, these jokes remind children of the charm of printed words, providing them with a fun, educational experience.

These newspaper-themed jokes make kids giggle while also stimulating their curiosity about the world, making them more eager to dive into reading, much like perusing a fun-filled newspaper.

Additionally, newspaper jokes for kids can spark an interest in current affairs and journalism, transforming the daily paper from a boring adult thing into a source of laughter and enjoyment.

Ready to turn those pages into peals of laughter?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling over their comics section:

  • What do you call a newspaper that tells secrets? The Daily Whisper!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a map? It wanted to deliver breaking news!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the party? To find some newsworthy friends!
  • How does a newspaper greet another newspaper? “Headlines up!”
  • Why did the newspaper go to school? It wanted to get ink-luded in the curriculum!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the casino? To play the daily gamble!
  • The headline hop!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a map to the party? It didn’t want to get lost in the classifieds.
  • Why did the math book look at the newspaper? To find problems it could solve!
  • Why did the newspaper blush? Because it saw the comic strip tell a really cheesy joke!
  • Why did the pencil bring a newspaper to school? Because it wanted to draw attention!
  • How does a newspaper say goodbye? See you in print!
  • Why was the newspaper cold? Because it was full of chilling headlines!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper at the party? “I’m feeling extra news-worthy tonight!”
  • Why was the newspaper cold? Because it left its headlines outside!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “You’re the “write” one for me!”
  • Why don’t newspapers make good comedians? Because their headlines are always too serious.
  • What do you call a bear that reads the newspaper? Well-informed!
  • What do you call a dinosaur who delivers newspapers? A Stegosaurus!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a raincoat? Because it heard the forecast called for scattered showers!
  • Why did the newspaper go to school? To get smarter and become a headline!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the doctor? Because it had too many pages!
  • What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? “You’re pretty “cool”!”
  • Why did the math book look sad at the newspaper? Because it knew it couldn’t compete with all the stories!
  • A fib-lication!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the dentist? Because it had a bad case of tooth “ink”fection!
  • What type of newspaper is never on time? The “daily snoozer”!
  • Why did the math book want to be a newspaper? It wanted to be “full” of stories!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “I dot the i’s and cross the t’s, and you’re always there for me!”
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper? “I’m in print, you’re hot off the press!”
  • Why did the newspaper win an award? Because it had a lot of breaking news!
  • What do you call a sheep reading a newspaper? An “ewe”s reader!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a ladder? To get a scoop on the headlines!
  • Why was the math teacher always reading the newspaper? She loved solving story problems!
  • What do you call a newspaper that tells jokes? The “funnies” section!
  • Why was the newspaper always so cheerful? Because it was always full of good news!
  • What do you call a newspaper that’s always in a hurry? The Express Edition!
  • Why did the math book go to the newspaper? To learn how to multiply its pages!
  • What do you call a dog that delivers newspapers? A paper collie!
  • To get smarter and become an article!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the restaurant? To find some fresh headlines!
  • What’s a newspaper’s favorite exercise? Squat-tering!
  • Why did the newspaper become an astronaut? Because it wanted to be out of this world!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper in the morning? “Extra! Extra! Read all about it, it’s a fine day for headlines!”
  • Why did the newspaper blush? Because it saw the comic strip without any clothes on!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the dentist? To get a new tooth in its headline!
  • Why did the newspaper blush? Because it saw the comic strip’s funny pages!
  • Why did the tomato turn red while reading the newspaper? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the ice cream shop? Because it wanted to be a Sundae paper!
  • What did the newspaper say to the ghost? I’m just dying to print your story!
  • Why did the newspaper win the race? Because it had the most news-worthy story!
  • What do you call a funny newspaper article? Punny news!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a flashlight to bed? So it could read under the covers!
  • Why did the newspaper take a nap? Because it needed a break from all the headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the theme park? It wanted to ride the roller-coaster of news!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the art museum? It heard there were some great headlines on display!
  • What did the editor say to the journalist who kept making spelling mistakes? “You need to get your act together or there’ll be serious repercussions!”
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper at the finish line? “I’m a headline, and you’re just a ‘byline’!”
  • What do you get when you cross a newspaper with a dog? A paper retriever!
  • Why did the newspaper start going to the gym? It wanted to get “press” fit!
  • Why don’t scientists trust newspapers? Because they make up too many headlines!
  • Why do newspapers never win races? Because they’re always getting scooped!
  • They say, “What’s the headline?”
  • A funny paper!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a flashlight to bed? It wanted to catch up on the latest news while staying up late!
  • Why did the newspaper get detention? Because it was spreading too much news!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the restaurant? It wanted to read the daily menu!
  • What’s a newspaper’s favorite exercise? Running a print!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the dance? It wanted to cover the breaking news on the dance floor!
  • What did the grape say to the newspaper? “You’re always in a jam!”
  • Why did the newspaper bring a friend to the party? It didn’t want to be caught folding!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little “under the weather”!
  • Why did the scarecrow buy a newspaper? He needed something to read on his lunch break!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the art museum? Because it wanted to see the “headlines” in the paintings!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper? “I’m feeling a bit pressed for time!”
  • What did the newspaper wear to the beach? A press suit!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a raincoat? In case of a press shower!
  • Why did the newspaper get a job as a chef? It wanted to report on current events in the kitchen!
  • Why did the newspaper visit the doctor? It had a case of headline-itis!
  • Why did the scarecrow buy a newspaper? Because he wanted to find out how he could become outstanding in his field!
  • Why did the newspaper go to school? It wanted to get a good education and become well-read!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper when they were arguing? “Stop spreading fake news!”
  • Because they always have the headlines!
  • What did the grape say to the newspaper? “Stop pressing my juice!”
  • Why did the scarecrow buy a newspaper? To keep up with the latest scare tactics!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper at the party? “I’m a big fan of your work!”
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? It wanted to get in shape – as a paperweight!
  • What did the newspaper say to the television? “I’ve got the front page, you’ve got the channel!” .
  • Why did the newspaper go to the restaurant? Because it heard the food was newsworthy!
  • What’s black, white, and read all over? A newspaper that was embarrassed!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper at their wedding? “We’re gonna make headlines together!”
  • Why was the math book sad when it read the newspaper? Because it realized it had too many problems!
  • Why did the scarecrow start reading the newspaper? Because he heard it was full of “corny” jokes!
  • Why was the math book sad when it read the newspaper? Because it heard the numbers were being printed in a different order!
  • What is a newspaper’s favorite exercise? News presses!
  • What do you call a cat reading the newspaper? Paw-prints!
  • To find inner peace and be a “well-read” paper!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the dentist? To get its daily “tooth” news!
  • What do you call a sad newspaper? The Daily News Blues!
  • Why do newspapers never make good teachers? Because they’re always losing their headlines!
  • What is a newspaper’s favorite type of music? The daily beat!
  • What did the newspaper say to the pencil? “You’ve got the lead, I’ll cover the story!”
  • Because they’re always hiding in plain print!
  • What do you call a newspaper that has fallen on the ground? Yesterday’s news!
  • How do you catch a squirrel reading the newspaper? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  • They exercise by running the headline stories!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a ladder to the library? Because it wanted to have a higher circulation!
  • Why did the newspaper go to space? To find the latest news from other planets!
  • Why did the newspaper bring a camera to the party? To capture all the headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper become a detective? Because it was always looking for the headline suspects!
  • Why did the newspaper take a nap? It wanted to catch up on some Zzz-news!
  • What did the newspaper say to the scissors? “I’m cutting it close!”
  • Why did the bicycle fall over when it read the newspaper? It was two-tired.
  • What do you call a newspaper that tells only good news? A “happy” paper!

 

Newspaper Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t enjoy a good newspaper joke?

Newspaper jokes for adults elevate the humor, blending the essence of journalistic satire with a pinch of clever wit.

Just like a compelling editorial, these jokes combine elements of humor, intelligence, and a hint of boldness for a hearty chuckle.

These jokes are ideal for coffee breaks, social gatherings, or simply to break the ice during a heated discussion among peers.

Here are some newspaper jokes that are fresh off the press for adults:

  • Why did the newspaper go to jail? It got caught spreading fake news!
  • Why did the newspaper start a comedy club? It wanted to spread a lot of laughs!
  • Why did the newspaper break up with the comic strip? It said the relationship wasn’t “funny” anymore!
  • Why did the newspaper go to therapy? Because it was having a circulation problem!
  • Why did the newspaper go on strike? It wanted better headlines and a raise in circulation!
  • Why did the newspaper get a ticket? It was caught speeding through the headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper fall asleep in the library? It wanted to catch up on some headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper go broke? It couldn’t make “cents” of its financial section!
  • Why did the newspaper become a chef? It wanted to specialize in “hot off the press” meals!
  • Why did the newspaper start singing in a band? It wanted to hit all the right notes!
  • Why was the newspaper cold? Someone opened the window and there was a draft!
  • Why did the newspaper need glasses? It had a lot of blurred headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper break up with the magazine? They had way too many pages between them!
  • What did the newspaper say when it got a pay raise? Extra, extra, read all about it!
  • Why don’t newspapers ever get married? Because they’re always breaking up!
  • Why did the newspaper become a teacher? It always had a lot of headlines!
  • Why do newspapers make great comedians? They always have good headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper take up gardening? It wanted to report on current seeds!
  • What did the newspaper say to the journalist? “I’m just here to deliver the news, not to make headlines!”
  • Why did the newspaper become a weather reporter? It wanted to make headlines rain or shine!
  • Why did the newspaper get into a fight? It had a “pressing” issue with another publication!
  • Why did the newspaper become a comedian? It always had a good punchline!
  • Why did the newspaper enroll in a fitness program? It wanted to stay in shape and be paper fit!
  • What did the newspaper say to the calendar? “Our days are numbered!”
  • Why did the newspaper become a teacher? It wanted to spread knowledge one headline at a time!
  • What do you call a newspaper that falls into a deep sleep? Yesterday’s news!
  • Why did the man bring a flashlight to the newspaper? He wanted to read between the headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper get a job in construction? It loved breaking news!
  • Why do newspapers make terrible detectives? Because they’re always delivering old news!
  • Why did the newspaper go on a diet? It was tired of being extra large!
  • What’s a newspaper’s favorite type of exercise? Running the presses!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the comedy club? To get some headline laughs!
  • Why don’t scientists trust newspapers? Because they tend to fold under pressure!
  • Why was the newspaper sad? It felt like it was always being overlooked!
  • Why did the newspaper go broke? It couldn’t make headlines anymore!
  • Why did the newspaper start playing sports? It wanted to make headlines as well as deadlines!
  • Why did the newspaper win an award? It had the best headlines in the business!
  • Why did the newspaper get in trouble at school? It couldn’t keep its stories straight!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the gym? It wanted to improve its paper circulation!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the doctor? It had a severe case of black and white syndrome!
  • Why don’t newspapers make good comedians? They can’t stop delivering the news!
  • Why did the newspaper get into a fight with the calendar? They both wanted to be front-page news!
  • Why did the newspaper start an exercise routine? It wanted to have well-toned headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper get into a fight with the magazine? They had a difference of opinion on current affairs!
  • Why do newspapers always win arguments? They always have the last word!
  • Why did the ghost cancel its subscription to the newspaper? It couldn’t handle all the bad news!
  • Why did the newspaper get a promotion? It had all the headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper hire a detective? It wanted to uncover the “breaking” news!
  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? “You’ve got me all stirred up!”
  • Why did the newspaper take up gardening? It wanted to grow its own headline stories!
  • Why did the newspaper get a new hairstyle? It was tired of being straight off the press!
  • Why did the newspaper break up with its long-term partner? It wanted a fresh article!
  • Why did the newspaper start a band? It wanted to be known for its “headlines” and “chorus” sections!
  • What did the newspaper say to the obituary section? “I always feel like you’re trying to bury the lead!”
  • Why did the newspaper get a promotion? It was always on the front page!
  • Why did the newspaper start a fight with the magazine? It wanted to be the headline story!
  • Why did the newspaper get a job as a chef? It wanted to make the headlines more spicy!
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including the news!
  • Why did the newspaper get a promotion? It had a lot of good press!
  • Why did the scarecrow subscribe to the newspaper? He wanted to keep up with the latest “corny” news!
  • Why do newspapers never play hide-and-seek? Because they’re always caught up in the headlines!
  • Why did the newspaper file a police report? It was involved in a headline crime!
  • Why was the newspaper always unhappy? It was always getting folded!
  • Why did the scarecrow read the newspaper? To keep up with current “corncerns”!
  • Why did the newspaper become a teacher? It loved giving out daily lessons!
  • Why did the newspaper feel guilty? It heard that it was spreading “fake news”!
  • What did the newspaper say to the comic strip? Let’s make headlines together!
  • Why did the newspaper refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to deal with any bad news!
  • What did one newspaper say to the other newspaper at the party? “Extra! Extra! Read all about it! We’re having a great time!”
  • Why did the newspaper break up with the magazine? They had different spreads!
  • Why did the newspaper start dating the magazine? They had amazing chemistry!
  • Why did the newspaper break up with its printer? They didn’t have a good rapport!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the doctor? It needed a daily check-up!
  • Why did the scarecrow start reading the newspaper? Because he heard it was outstanding in its field!
  • Why do newspapers always get invited to parties? They love spreading “headline” news!
  • Why did the newspaper get a passport? It wanted to travel the world to report global news!
  • Why did the newspaper refuse to go on vacation? It didn’t want to miss any breaking news!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the restaurant? To find a juicy scoop!
  • What did the newspaper say to the sports section? “You’re my favorite athlete!”
  • Why did the newspaper start a cooking show? It wanted to share its recipes for success!
  • Why did the newspaper start working out? It wanted to get in shape and have more circulation!
  • What did the newspaper say to the coffee? I’m just here for the daily grind!
  • Why did the newspaper go to the art museum? It was looking for some good press!
  • Why did the newspaper throw a party? It wanted to have good coverage!
  • Why did the newspaper break up with the magazine? It felt they were just covering the same stories!
  • Why did the newspaper want to become a chef? It wanted to dish out some hot news!
  • Why was the math teacher always reading the newspaper? He was trying to improve his problem-solving skills!
  • What did the newspaper say to the crossword puzzle? “I can’t make sense of you!”
  • Why did the newspaper go on vacation? It needed a well-deserved headline!
  • Why did the newspaper get a ticket? It was caught “speed-reading” in a no-reading zone!
  • Why did the man start a newspaper for cats? He wanted to report on purr-suasive stories!
  • What do you call a newspaper that tells nothing but lies? Fiction!
  • Why did the newspaper make a great detective? It always knew how to uncover the truth!
  • Why did the newspaper go to therapy? It was tired of being spread all over the place!
  • Why did the newspaper take a vacation? It needed some headline rest!
  • Why was the newspaper cold? It left the drafts in!
  • Why did the newspaper start a fight? It wanted to make headlines for all the wrong reasons!
  • What do you call a newspaper that tells only lies? Fictional Times!
  • Why did the newspaper get into a fight with the magazine? They couldn’t agree on the headlines!

 

Newspaper Joke Generator

Finding the perfect newspaper joke can sometimes feel like you’re digging through yesterday’s news.

(See the pun there?)

That’s where our FREE Newspaper Joke Generator steps in to make the headlines.

Created to weave witty puns, timely humor, and playful phrases, it creates jokes that are sure to become front-page funnies.

Don’t let your sense of humor be yesterday’s news.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as current and captivating as today’s headlines.

 

FAQs About Newspaper Jokes

Why are newspaper jokes popular?

Newspaper jokes are popular because they blend current affairs, nostalgia, and humor in a fun and relatable way.

They provide a unique spin on well-known experiences, like reading the morning paper or dealing with sensational headlines.

 

Can newspaper jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

A newspaper joke can be a great ice-breaker or conversation starter, especially in intellectual or professional gatherings.

It can also add a light-hearted touch to discussions about current events or the media.

 

How can I come up with my own newspaper jokes?

  1. First, consider common characteristics of newspapers—their headlines, sections, the daily crossword or comic strip, etc.
  2. Think about the vocabulary associated with newspapers (e.g., press, headlines, byline). Look for homophones or clever puns involving these words.
  3. Consider the context of your joke. Is it about a journalist in a funny situation? Or a humorous take on a headline? Tailor your humor to match.
  4. Twist a famous saying or phrase to include newspaper elements.
  5. Use puns and wordplay! Newspaper jokes are perfect for playful linguistics and pun-filled humor.

 

Are there any tips for remembering newspaper jokes?

Link newspaper jokes to situations where they may be applicable—morning coffee while reading the paper, discussing current affairs, or even while watching a news broadcast.

Associating jokes with these situations can make them more memorable.

 

How can I make my newspaper jokes better?

Find common ground with your audience and use the element of surprise.

Don’t shy away from wordplay or puns.

Practice makes perfect, so keep testing your jokes to see what generates the most laughter.

 

How does the Newspaper Joke Generator work?

Our Newspaper Joke Generator is a tool designed to provide instant humor.

Simply input keywords related to your newspaper-themed humor or situation, hit the Generate Jokes button, and you’ll have fresh, funny newspaper jokes ready to share.

 

Is the Newspaper Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Newspaper Joke Generator is completely free to use!

You can generate endless laughs without spending a dime.

Liven up your social media or your next social gathering with clever, newspaper-themed humor.

 

Conclusion

Newspaper jokes are a charming way to infuse a bit of humor into everyday conversations, making life just that little bit more enjoyable with each chortle.

From quick puns to lengthy anecdotes, there’s a newspaper joke for every situation.

So next time you’re flipping through a newspaper, remember, there’s a punchline to be found in every headline, article, and comic strip.

Keep delivering the laughs, and let the good times print and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without newspapers—unimaginable and, frankly, somewhat less informed.

Happy joking, everyone!

Headline Jokes That Will Make Your Day

Editorial Jokes to Spice Up Your Coffee Breaks

Crossword Puzzle Jokes That Will Challenge Your Humor

Tabloid Jokes That Are Sensationally Funny

Sunday Comics Jokes for a Week’s Worth of Laughter

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