684 Possum Jokes for Keeping Spirits High in the Outback

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to scurry into the world of possum jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the pick of the litter.

That’s why we’ve rustled up a list of the most hilarious possum jokes.

From grinning puns to marsupial-themed one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every nocturnal adventure.

So, let’s dive into the playful center of possum humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Possum Jokes

Possum jokes have an endearing quirkiness that can bring about a chuckle in even the sternest of individuals.

They’re not only about the adorable marsupials themselves but the amusing situations they often find themselves in.

From playing dead to scampering about in the night, possums offer a plethora of comedic inspiration.

Creating the perfect possum joke requires a blend of wordplay, surprise elements, and a dash of the unpredictable lifestyle of possums themselves (their nocturnal antics or their unique defense mechanisms).

Ready for a hearty laugh?

Dive into giggles with these possum jokes:

What do you get when you cross a possum and a kangaroo? A creature that hangs from trees during the day and jumps around at night!
How do possums like to stay in shape? They do a lot of hiss-terics!
Why did the possum become a detective? Because he was excellent at playing dead and wanted to solve cold cases!
How do possums like to travel? In a ‘possum’-bile!
What do you get when you cross a possum and a kangaroo? An animal that plays dead but hops right back up!
Why was the possum always invited to parties? Because it was such a good possum-nality!
Why did the possum bring a boombox to the party? To play some possum tunes!
How do you know if a possum is a good comedian? It always plays deadpan!
Why did the possum start a band? Because it already had a killer set of plays dead!
What’s a possum’s favorite board game? Hide and go squeak!
How did the possum become a detective? He always had a sharp “possum-tion” for solving mysteries!
Why don’t possums ever get into trouble? Because they’re ‘possum’-bly the best at avoiding it!
What’s a possum’s favorite food? Opossum noodles! (Opposums).
Why did the possum become a chef? It heard there were plenty of leftovers to scavenge!
What did the possum say to its friend who was feeling down? “Chin up, mate! We’re experts at hanging in there!”
Why did the possum become a detective? It was tired of playing dead-end jobs!
What do you call a possum that’s good at telling jokes? A comedian-deadian!
Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the tree? Because it was going on a vacation and needed to pack its bags!
What’s a possum’s favorite movie genre? “Play-possum-entary” films!
Why did the possum bring a flashlight to the party? Because he wanted to “shine” at playing dead!
What do you call a possum that’s a great actor? A possum-bly Oscar-worthy performer!
Why did the possum take up yoga? It wanted to master the art of playing possum in different poses!
How do possums send letters? By ‘oppossum’ mail!
Why don’t possums ever get lost? Because they always have a GPS – “Great Possum Senses”!
What do you call a possum that can play dead and solve math problems? A mathemagician!
How does a possum like its coffee? Playing possum and black!
Why did the possum go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “opossumed” with life!
What do you call a possum that becomes a professional wrestler? A “body-slamming” possum!
Why don’t possums ever argue? Because they’d rather just play dead and avoid the drama!
What did one possum say to the other at the party? “Why are we both playing dead? We’re already the life of the party!”
Why don’t possums ever get lonely? Because they can always play dead!
Why did the possum become a detective? Because it was an expert at playing possum, so solving crimes was a piece of cake!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? Because he could always make the audience “play possum” with laughter!
What did the possum say to the owl? “I’m playing possum, not owl!”
What did the possum say to its friend who was overthinking things? “Stop playing possum-sive and just relax!”
Why did the possum go broke? It could only play dead, not make money!
Why did the possum become an actor? It loved playing dead on the big screen!
How does a possum ask for a favor? Can you pleats help me?
Why did the possum become a chef? Because it was an expert at playing possum-petit!
How do you make a possum stop playing dead? You give it some “o-possum” energy drink!
What did the possum say when he won an award? “I’m ‘possum’-itively thrilled!”
Why don’t possums ever get in trouble? Because they always play “possum” and pretend to be innocent!
Why was the possum invited to the party? Because it’s a real “play-ssum”!
Why don’t possums like riddles? Because they always play dead and give up!
Why did the possum refuse to play poker? It didn’t want to be caught “playing dead” by a bad hand!
Why do possums make terrible secret agents? Because they’re always “playing possum” when they’re supposed to be on a mission!
How does a possum ask for a favor? It plays “possum-please”!
What did the possum say when it won the lottery? “Now I’m ‘playing possum’ for real!”
Why did the possum bring a broom to the dinner table? Because he heard it was time to ‘sweep’ clean!
What’s a possum’s favorite game show? “Who Wants to Be a ‘Play Dead’ Millionaire?”
Why did the possum cross the road? To show the chickens it could play dead better than them!
Why don’t possums get along with other animals? Because they always have a hiss-terical attitude!
How do you make a possum stop playing dead? Hold up a sign that says ‘Free Garbage’!
What did one possum say to the other when they found a hidden treasure? “Let’s keep it on the down-low, or else they’ll think we’re just playing dead!”
How did the possum feel after winning the lottery? Like playing dead wasn’t the only way to get lucky!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? Because he could really ‘play dead’ on stage!
What’s a possum’s favorite exercise? Playing possum aerobics!
What do you call a possum that can do magic tricks? Houdini the Possum!
What do possums do when they are bored? They go out and play “possumball” with their friends!
Why don’t possums ever get lost? Because they always play possum and pretend they know where they’re going!
What did the possum say to the other possum at the party? “Let’s hang out later!”
Why don’t possums like online shopping? They prefer playing possum in the stores!
What do you call a possum who’s a fantastic singer? A “possum-talented” performer!
What did the possum say to its friend when it won the lottery? “I’m going to buy a new tail and play possum all day!”
How do possums stay organized? They hang everything on their awesome possum-hooks!
How did the possum feel when it won the lottery? It was simply “possum-tively” ecstatic!
What did the possum say to its friend? “I’ll always be ‘playing possum’ for you!”
Why did the possum bring a flashlight to bed? In case it wanted to play dead during the night!
Why did the possum bring a map to the party? Because it didn’t want to “play possum” and pretend to know where it was going!
What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Anything that’s played at a possum-playing-dead concert!
What do you get when you cross a possum with a kangaroo? An animal that hangs out in trees and jumps around on the ground!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? Because it was always playing dead and wanted a change of career!
Why was the possum always invited to parties? Because he was a “possum-magnet” and attracted everyone’s attention!
Why did the possum bring a blanket to the party? Because he wanted to blend in and stay “possum-tively” cozy!
Why did the possum bring a map to the party? Because it wanted to find the nearest trash can!
Why did the possum always have a clean house? He hired a ‘possum’-maid to clean up after him!
Why did the possum take up acting? It wanted to play dead like a pro!
Why don’t possums ever become comedians? Because they’re always playing possum!
What do you call a group of possums singing together? A “possum-choir”!
Why did the possum get a job at the bakery? Because it wanted to make some dough!
What do you call a possum with a top hat and a cane? A classy critter!
Why don’t possums ever get lost? Because they always have a good sense of possum-direction!
Why did the possum become a doctor? Because it wanted to play “possumtrician” and deliver baby possums!
What did one possum say to the other when they bumped into each other? “You’re playing possum right now, aren’t you?”
Why did the possum bring a boombox to the forest? Because he wanted to “play dead” beats!
What did the possum say when he won an award? “I guess I’m just ‘playing dead’ good!”
How do possums send messages? By playing “possumgram”!
Why don’t possums ever get lonely? Because they’re always playing possum with their friends!
How did the possum escape the police? It played dead so convincingly, they let it go!
What did the possum say to the squirrel? “I’m not playing dead, I’m just practicing my yoga pose!”
Why did the possum cross the road twice? To prove it wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the possum bring a backpack to the game? Because it wanted to carry its opossumball equipment!
Why did the possum bring a flashlight to the party? It wanted to shed some light on the ‘playing possum’ act!
What did the possum say when it bumped into a tree? “Bark” off, I didn’t see you there!
What did one possum say to the other when they were caught stealing food? “We’ve been ‘possum’-sted!”
Why did the possum bring a pillow to the party? Because it wanted to take a nap after eating all the snacks!
Why did the possum take up acting? Because it wanted to be a possum-bly famous star!
Why did the possum join a gym? It wanted to be the king of playing deadlifts!
What do you call a possum that becomes a doctor? A ‘paws’-itively brilliant surgeon!
What do you call a possum that’s a great dancer? A possum-ball champion!
Why did the possum cross the road? To show the armadillo it could be done!
What do you get when you cross a possum with a kangaroo? A marsupial that hangs out at night and sleeps all day!
What do you get if you cross a possum with a kangaroo? An animal that sleeps during the day and jumps around at night!
Why did the possum go to school? To perfect its “playing dead” skills in hide and seek!
What did the possum say to its kid when it left for school? “Don’t play dead, play smart!”
Why did the possum start a band? Because it had perfect pitch, especially when hanging on a high note!
How does a possum use the internet? It logs on to MyFace!
How do you make a possum laugh? Just play “possum-puns”!
What did the possum say to his friend when they were running late? “We better get a move on or we’ll be playing possum all day!”
How did the possum feel when he discovered he had a tail? He was ‘hanging’ on to it!
What do you call a possum that can play the guitar? A rock ‘n’ roll marsupial!
Why was the possum a terrible chef? Because he could only play dead and not cook “possum-able” meals!
Why did the possum invite its friends to its den? It wanted to have a possum-tively good time!
What did the possum say to his friend when he won the lottery? “I’m a “jillionaire”!”
How do possums like to relax? They hang out and play possum-vision games!
Why did the possum bring a flashlight to bed? Because it wanted to see if there were any night-lights!
What did the possum say to its neighbor? Let’s hang out sometime, but not by the tail!
Why did the possum bring a boombox to the park? Because it wanted to play dead and jam out at the same time!
How does a possum express its love? It gives a big ‘possum bear’ hug!
What do you call a possum that loves to dance? A “possuming” ballerina!
What did one possum say to the other at the party? “Let’s hang out and have a ‘possum-tively’ good time!”

Short Possum Jokes

Short possum jokes are like a playful marsupial in the night – unexpected, cheeky, and always guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.

These jokes are excellent for livening up a text conversation, brightening a social media feed, or adding a dash of humor to a casual hangout.

The beauty of short possum jokes lies in their wittiness and surprise factor, providing laughter in a quick, bite-sized format.

So get ready to hang upside down with laughter, here are short possum jokes that pack a hilarious surprise in just a few words.

Why was the possum always invited to parties? It played possum well!
What’s a possum’s favorite TV show? “Playing Possum: The Reality Series!”
Why do possums never get angry? They have too much possum-nality!
How do you know when a possum is happy? It’s playing possum!
What’s a possum’s favorite superhero? Spider-Poss!
Why did the possum go to the dentist? It had bad breath!
What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? “Opossum pie” – just pretend it’s delicious!
What do you call a possum that plays guitar? A possum-strummer!
Why did the possum become a lawyer? It’s good at playing possumption!
What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? Anything with lots of possumberries!
What’s a possum’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones!
How does a possum organize a party? It hangs by the tail-lights!
What’s a possum’s favorite subject in school? Playing ‘possum’-etry!
Why don’t possums carry cash? They prefer playing possum cards!
How did the possum outsmart the predator? It played dead… really well!
What’s a possum’s favorite type of workout? Playing possumball!
How does a possum keep its fur looking nice? With ‘opossum’!
What’s a possum’s favorite song? “Play Possum” by Keith Urban!
How does a possum make friends? By playing possum!
What’s a possum’s favorite song? “Play Dead” by Björk!
How do possums like to relax? They enjoy playing possum games!
How does a possum tell time? It checks its possum-lock!
Why did the possum become a firefighter? It loves playing with hoses!
What’s a possum’s favorite karaoke song? “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor!
What did the possum say to the owl? “You’re a hoot!”
Why was the possum bad at basketball? It always played dead-ball!
What do you call a possum that’s a famous actor? A possum-celebrity!
What did the possum say to its friend? “We’re ‘opossum’ly awesome!”
How do possums keep their fur so clean? They play possum-scotcha!
What’s a possum’s favorite Beatles song? “Hey, Jude, don’t make it badger!”
What do you call a possum that plays dead? Excellent actor!
Why don’t possums ever get lost? They always find their way home!
What’s a possum’s favorite book? “The Great Gatsbypossum!”
How do you make a possum laugh? Play dead serious pranks!
Why did the possum bring a pencil to the party? For possum-bilities!

Possum Jokes One-Liners

Possum one-liner jokes represent a unique blend of charm and humor, wrapped up in a single sentence.

They are the verbal equivalent of a possum playing dead – unexpected, intriguing, and leaving you with a smile on your face.

Creating a good possum one-liner involves a mix of wit, timing, and a flair for the unexpected.

The goal is to combine the setup and punchline in a concise manner, delivering a hearty chuckle with just a few words.

We trust these possum one-liners will have you grinning like a possum eating a sweet potato:

Did you hear about the possum that opened a bakery? It makes the best “pastry-possum” in town!
What did the possum say when he bumped into a tree? “Sorry, I’m just hanging around!”
Why did the possum always carry a map? Because he was a natural-born navigator and could find his way anywhere!
What do you call a possum with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
What did one possum say to the other when they found a hidden treasure? “Looks like we hit the jackpot, mate!”
Why did the possum become a teacher? Because he wanted to help educate the next generation of “opossumly” great minds!
Why did the possum start taking yoga classes? To perfect his “opossumasana” pose!
How do you compliment a talented possum? You say, “You’re simply paw-some!”
Why did the possum always win at poker? Because it had plenty of “playing dead” faces!
Why did the possum become a detective? It wanted to solve crimes with its sharp eye for details!
Why did the possum go to the dentist? To get its toothbrush replaced with a flossom!
What do you call a possum that’s a skilled dancer? A possumballerina!
Why did the possum start a rock band? He wanted to be the lead guitarist in a possum-nation!
Did you hear about the possum who opened a bakery? It’s all about that dough, ’bout that dough, no treble!
What do you call a possum that can’t stop making jokes? A pun-som!
Why did the possum take up knitting? It wanted to make itself a cozy little pouch to play dead in!
Why did the possum become an astronaut? It wanted to find a new “marsupial” planet!
How do you make a possum stop playing dead? Ask him if he wants to go on a road trip!
What do you call a possum that goes to school? A marsupial!
What did one possum say to the other when they crossed paths? “Hey, let’s hang out sometime!”
Why did the possum take up karate? It wanted to be a black-belt in playing dead!
What do you get when you cross a possum with a kangaroo? A marsupial with some serious attitude!
Why don’t possums like riddles? Because they prefer playing possum!
Why did the possum take up knitting? Because it heard it was good at playing “possum” and purling!
Did you hear about the possum that became a magician? It could always disappear whenever danger was near!
Why did the possum go to the dentist? Because he had a “possum”stache!
What did the possum say when he won the lottery? “I’m the luckiest marsupial alive!”
Why did the possum take up gardening? It wanted to grow some ‘possum cabbages’!
Why did the possum bring a tiny guitar to the forest? He wanted to play some acorn-y music!
What did the possum say to the other possum at the party? “I’m playing possum, wanna join?”
Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the party? It wanted to show off its “possum-ssions”!
How do possums send love letters? They play “possumal” ads!
I asked the possum if it wanted to go for a swim, but it said it didn’t want to get too “possum-mersed” in the water!
What’s a possum’s favorite superhero? Captain Play-dead!
Why did the possum become a rapper? Because it wanted to drop some “possum-ic” beats!
Why did the possum bring a boombox to the forest? He wanted to have a “possum” dance party!
What do you call a possum with a sunburn? A hot “play dead” mess!
Why did the possum become an artist? It wanted to paint the town red!
How did the possum make friends? By playing possumsum with everyone!
Why did the possum start a bakery? Because he wanted to sell “possum”nut muffins!
Did you hear about the possum who opened a bakery? It made some killer turnovers!
What’s a possum’s favorite sport? Playing dead-lifting!
Why did the possum start a band? Because it heard they needed a “lead possumer”!
What do you call a possum that’s a big fan of music? A possumposer!
What’s a possum’s favorite hobby? Playing “possum-games” with its friends!
Why did the possum join a gym? It wanted to work on its “hanging in there” skills!
Why did the possum bring a pencil to the party? In case there was a drawing contest!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? Because it wanted to make everyone play dead with laughter!
What did the possum say to its friend after a long day? “Let’s hang out and play possum later!”
What did the possum say when it got caught stealing candy? “I guess I’m just a sugar glider at heart!”
Why did the possum start a band? Because he was tired of being a solo “opossumist”!
How did the possum fix his broken tail? With o-paw-ration!
What did one possum say to the other about their dance moves? “We sure know how to shake it!”
Why did the possum bring a map to the forest? It wanted to find the “possum-ly” way home!
What did the possum say to its partner after a successful heist? “We really nailed it!”
Why did the possum become a detective? It wanted to solve the mystery of where all the garbage cans went!
What did the possum say to the squirrel? “You’re nuts, but I’m playing dead!”
Why did the possum start a fitness blog? Because it wanted to share its secrets to playing dead-lifts!
What do you call a possum who’s always late? A slow-poke-ssum!
Why don’t possums ever get lonely? Because they’re always hanging out with their pals on trees!
Why did the possum start a diet? It wanted to become a light snack!
Why did the possum become a detective? He wanted to solve “opossumly” difficult cases!
Why did the possum become an actor? He wanted to play dead on the big screen!
Why did the possum start a band? Because it was tired of playing dead and wanted to be a rock star!
What did the possum say to the squirrel? Nothing, they just stared at each other and played dead!
Why did the possum bring a blanket to the party? Because it wanted to play dead and cover it up!
What did the possum say to its friend who was always running late? “You need to work on your possumality!”
Why did the possum always win at poker? Because it had a great poker face, or should I say, a “possum” face!
What do you call a possum that flies through the air? A “hang glider”!
What do you call a possum with a great sense of humor? A hilarious hisster!
Why was the possum a terrible comedian? It always played dead on stage!
I saw a possum riding a unicycle once, it was a real balancing act-possum!
Why don’t possums ever get arrested? Because they always play dead when the police arrive!
What do you call a possum who’s a great detective? A snoops-sum!
Why did the possum start a band? Because he had a lot of opossum-tential!
Why did the possum open a bakery? It wanted to make doughnuts look like roadkill!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? Because it had a lot of good plays ‘possum’ material!
Why did the possum take up yoga? It wanted to perfect its “playing dead” pose!
Why did the possum become a doctor? Because it wanted to give everyone a “possum-tomy”!
How did the possum make a fortune? By starting a business called “Playing Possum: The Ultimate Nap Experience!”
What did the possum say when it got caught stealing from the bakery? “I just wanted a little “possum-bun”!
What do you call a possum with a black belt in martial arts? A “karate-possum!”
What do you call a possum that’s a master of disguise? A “possum-tive” chameleon!
Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the party? Because it was playing possum and wanted to make a quick getaway!
What do you call a possum that takes up gymnastics? A “flexible” possum!
Why did the possum bring a ladder? Because it wanted to reach new heights in playing dead!
What did the possum say to his friend who couldn’t make up his mind? “Just hang in there, buddy!”
What do you call a possum that can play dead and juggle at the same time? An awesome possum!
What do you call a possum that’s a great comedian? A “hilarious hanger”!
What did the possum say to its partner? “You’re the possum-itive to my nega-possum!”
What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Anything with “opossum” chords!
Why did the possum become a musician? Because it loved playing “possum-coustic” guitar!
What did the possum say to its friend when it won the lottery? “I’m going to be a “possumillionaire”!
Why did the possum get a job at the bakery? It wanted to prove it could make the best “possumberry” pie!
What did one possum say to the other when they saw a snake? “Let’s play dead and freak it out!”
Why did the possum bring a backpack to the party? Because it heard there would be lots of snacks to carry home!
What did the possum say to the squirrel? “Let’s play possum-tag!”
What did the possum say to its friend? “Let’s play possum and pretend we’re asleep!”
Why did the possum bring a pencil to the party? It wanted to draw attention to itself!
What did the possum say when it got caught stealing food? “I guess I’ve been caught red-pawed!”
Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the party? Because it heard there would be a “possum-ble getaway”!
What did the possum say when it won the lottery? “I guess I’m just a lucky little critter!”
What did the possum say to the squirrel? Why are you so squirrelly?
Why don’t possums ever use cellphones? Because they prefer playing dead, not playing apps!
What’s a possum’s favorite dance move? Playing dead and doing the possum shuffle!
What did the possum say to his friends when they asked him to join them for a swim? “Sorry, I’m not a big fan of possumpools!”
What do you call a possum with a guilty conscience? An o-possum.
How do you make a possum stop playing dead? Take it to a boring party!
Why did the possum bring a dictionary to the party? It wanted to look up the meaning of “playing possum”!
Why did the possum bring a suitcase on vacation? It wanted to be a possum tourist!
What’s a possum’s favorite board game? “Possum-opoly”!
What do you call a possum with no sense of direction? A disoriented possum!
Why do possums make terrible comedians? Because they always play deadpan humor!
What did the possum say when it found out it won the lottery? “I’m going to spend it all on trash!”
What did the possum say when it finished a big meal? “I’m just playing possum, I can still eat!”
How do you know when a possum is lying? Its lips are moving!
What do you call a possum that can juggle? A “possum-bilist”!
What do you call a possum’s favorite TV show? “Playing Dead in the Wild”!
What do you call a possum with a badge? A police officer possum!
Why did the possum bring a mirror to the party? So he could play possums and reflectors!
What did the possum say to its friend? “I’m playing dead, come over and join me!”
Why did the possum bring a ladder? Because he wanted to see the moon up close!
Why did the possum bring a pen and paper to its doctor’s appointment? It wanted to take notes on its “possumbilities”!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? Because he always played deadpan!
What do you call a possum who loves to tell jokes? A hilarious “play dead” comedian!
Why did the possum go to the dentist? To improve its “grin” and bear it!
Why was the possum always getting into trouble? Because it had a “possum-tive” attitude!
Why did the possum become an artist? Because he wanted to hang from trees all day!
Why did the possum enroll in cooking school? Because it wanted to learn how to make “possum” stew!
How does a possum say hello? With a hiss-terical greeting!
What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop because they love playing possum and hopping around!
What did the possum say to his friend? “I’m just hanging in there, by a tail!”
Why did the possum join a band? Because it heard they played “opossum” music!
Did you hear about the possum who opened a bakery? It was all about his speciality – paws-tries!
I told my friend to stop playing dead like a possum, but he just wouldn’t play possum-able!

Possum Dad Jokes

Possum dad jokes are the perfect mix of wit and lighthearted humor that are certain to evoke both chuckles and eye-rolls.

They’re the kind of jokes that are so cheesy, they’re actually clever.

These jokes are ideal for camping trips, family BBQs, or simply to brighten someone’s day.

Prepare for the sighs and giggles.

Here are some possum dad jokes that are guaranteed to amuse:

Why don’t possums ever become astronauts? They’re more interested in playing possum on the ground!
Why did the possum take up painting? It wanted to become a “possum”-pressionist artist!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? Because he was tired of playing dead-end roles!
Why did the possum go to art school? It wanted to learn how to hang perfectly still in every painting!
How do you know if a possum is good at playing hide and seek? If you can’t find it, it’s probably a master possum!
What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Soft rock, because it helps them play possum even better!
How do you recognize a possum that’s good at math? It always carries a “possum-triangle”!
Why are possums always smiling? Because they know how to play dead-pan comedy!
How do you throw a surprise party for a possum? You hide in a tree and yell, “Surprise!” when it walks by!
What do you call a possum who loves music? A hip-hop artist!
Why did the possum join a gym? It wanted to get a toned tail!
What did the possum say to its friend who was always running late? “You better hurry up, or I’ll go possum on you!”
Why was the possum always invited to parties? Because it knew how to play possum and make everyone laugh! It was the ultimate party animal!
How do you invite a possum to a party? “Hey possum, please don’t play dead and join us instead!”
Why don’t possums use computers? They already have plenty of “mouse” skills!
How do you know if a possum is having a good day? It’s playing possum-tively!
Why did the possum start a band? It heard it was the best way to play possumic instruments!
Why did the possum go to the gym? To work on his “possumflex” muscles!
What did the possum say to its friend who was always complaining? “Don’t be so negative, just hang in there!”
What did the mom possum say to her child when he was being naughty? “You better play possum and behave!”
Why did the possum become a math teacher? Because it wanted to teach its students how to play possum and solve problems simultaneously!
What did the possum say to his friend? “Let’s play possum and pretend we don’t see each other!”
Why did the possum open a bakery? Because it wanted to make some “possum-tively” delicious pastries!
Why did the possum go to art school? It wanted to master the skill of blending in and playing possum in any situation!
What do you call a possum who loves to dance? A “possum-tively” groovy mover!
Why don’t possums ever get into arguments? They’d rather just play possum!
How did the possum feel when it won the lottery? Over the moon, or should I say, over the possum!
What did the mama possum say to her naughty child? “You’re playing possum with me, aren’t you?”
What did the possum say when it finished a good meal? That was o-possum!
Why did the possum join a gym? It wanted to be a real “fit”-ness model!
Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the party? Because it’s a marsupial and likes to travel light!
Why did the possum go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to paint himself into a corner!
Why did the possum carry a map? It wanted to find its way out of the opossum maze!
Why did the possum bring a pencil and paper to bed? Because it wanted to draw its dreams of playing dead!
Why did the possum go to the art museum? Because it heard there were some masterpieces that really “possum-pressed”!
What did the possum say to its friend? “Let’s play dead and scare some humans!”
Why did the possum invite his friends to his house? Because he wanted to show off his “playing dead” skills!
What do you call a possum that likes to play football? A quarterback-sitter!
What do you call a possum with a musical talent? A possumposer!
What did the possum say to its friend who was always worried? “Don’t worry, be possum-tive!”
Why did the possum start a band? Because he wanted to play “opossum-nation” music!
Why don’t possums ever get stressed? Because they just hang in there!
Why did the possum start taking acting classes? Because he wanted to perfect his “playing dead” performance!
What do you call a possum that becomes a famous actor? A possum-bility star!
Why do possums make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are always “opossum-ly” bad!
What did the possum say when he was caught stealing? “I’m just hanging around!”
How do you make a possum stop playing dead? Take away its Netflix subscription!
Why do possums never get into arguments? Because they’re always playing possum and avoiding confrontation!
What did the mother possum say to her child before it went out? “Be sure to play dead and stay safe!”
How do you make a possum smile? Just say, “Cheese!” and it will play possum for the camera!
What did the mother possum say to her unruly children? “You better play possum and behave!”
What do you call a possum that becomes a detective? Sherlock Holmessum! It always plays possum to catch the culprit!
How do you tell the difference between a possum and an opossum? The first one is just a little more posh!
Why did the possum go to school? To brush up on its playing possum skills!
How do possums organize a party? They play possum and let someone else do all the work!
Why don’t possums like fast food? Because they prefer playing possum to playing with their food!
What did one possum say to the other when they were caught in a tree? “Well, looks like we’re just hanging around here, playing possum… again!”
Why did the possum go to school? Because he wanted to be a smart-aleck!
How do possums handle tough situations? They just “grin and possum”!
Why did the possum start a band? Because it had some killer playing “op-paw-soms”!
What did the possum say to its kids before they went to sleep? “Time to play possum and have sweet dreams!”
What did the possum say to the squirrel? “I’m hanging in there, just like you!”
What’s a possum’s favorite game to play? “Dead or Alive”!
What did the mother possum say to her kids when they were acting lazy? “Why are you just hanging around? It’s time to play possum and get moving!”
How do possums celebrate their birthdays? They play “possum-party” games!
What do you call a possum that doesn’t share its snacks? A possumessive eater!
Why do possums make terrible doctors? Because they’re always playing possum instead of examining their patients!
Why do possums make terrible comedians? Because they can never seem to deliver their punchlines!
What did the possum say to the squirrel? Let’s hang out sometime, it’ll be tree-mendous!
What did the mama possum say to her naughty child? Stop playing possum dead!
How do you make a possum smile? Just say, “You’re really possum-tively awesome!”
Why did the possum become a doctor? Because it wanted to help other animals “play possum” better!
What did the possum say to his neighbor? “Let’s be oppossum-ates and stick together!”
Why did the possum start a rock band? Because it wanted to show the world how to truly play possum and roll!
What did the momma possum say to her babies before they went out at night? “Be sure to play possum if anything scares you!”
Why do possums never get stressed? Because they always have a “don’t worry, be possum” attitude!
What do you call a possum that’s a wizard? Hocus-Possum!
How do you find a possum in a crowded room? Just pretend to yawn and see who plays dead!
What do you call a possum that knows martial arts? A black-belt possum-ninja!
Why did the possum take up acting? It wanted to win an Oscar for playing dead!
What do you call a possum that loves to take selfies? A “possumbly” photogenic critter!
Why did the possum start its own business? Because it wanted to be in possumsion of its own destiny!
What’s a possum’s favorite sport? Play-“dead”-minton!
How do you tell if a possum is happy? By the big “grin” on its face!
Why did the possum start a band? Because it heard they were good at playing “possum-ic” instruments!
Why did the possum go to school? To become a marsupial-ologist!
What did one possum say to the other at the dinner table? “Let’s play ‘possum’ and pretend we don’t like this food!”
Why did the possum become a comedian? Because he had the best “plays” in town!
What do you get when you cross a possum and a kangaroo? A creature that hangs from trees and says, “G’day, mate!”
What did the possum say to the other possum during a game? “I’m hanging in there!”
What do you call a possum that loves to play video games? A joystick-jock possum!
Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the party? Because he heard there was a lot of playing possum!
How did the possum become a successful lawyer? It was great at playing “possum-trial” tactics!
Why did the possum bring a pillow to the zoo? Because it wanted to take a nap in its natural habitat!
Why did the possum bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to hang out with its friends in high places!
Why did the possum bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to be the life of the possum-bly high-est tree branch!
What did the possum say when it crossed paths with a squirrel? “Don’t worry, I’m just hanging around!”
What did one possum say to the other while crossing the road? “I’ll cover you, just in case you want to play dead!”
What’s a possum’s favorite subject in school? Playing possum-etry! It loves to calculate the perfect moment to play dead!
How does a possum clean its house? With a broom and lots of “opossums”!
Why don’t possums carry cash? Because they’re always playing possum-poor!
Why did the possum bring a flashlight to the party? Because it wanted to find its way around without playing possum!
What did the mama possum say when her kid played dead? “Don’t be so opossumistic!”
Why did the possum bring a pencil to the party? In case he needed to draw attention to himself!
What’s a possum’s favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Roadkill!
What’s a possum’s favorite exercise? Playing possum-sal volleyball!
How did the possum pay for its shopping? With possum pennies!
How does a possum greet another possum? With an oppossum shake!
Why did the possum become a musician? Because he wanted to play “possumsition”!
How do possums make sure they always have a good meal? They play dead and wait for some food to come their way!
What did the possum say to his friend when it was time to leave? “It’s time to hit the road and play dead!”
How do possums get around the neighborhood? By playing possum-mobile!
What did the possum say when he went into a salon? “I’m here for a brush-up!”
Why did the possum go to the art gallery? It wanted to hang out with some masterpieces!
Why did the possum bring a map to the party? Because it wanted to play a game of hide and squeak!
Why did the possum become a detective? Because it had a knack for playing dead and solving mysteries!
Why did the possum become a chef? Because it wanted to make the best possum-bilities in the kitchen!
How did the possum become a successful chef? It always added a dash of “possum-itude” to its recipes!
Why don’t possums like to play hide-and-seek? Because they’re always playing possum!
Why did the possum bring a vacuum cleaner? Because he wanted to suck it up and play possum!
Why did the possum get a part-time job at the bakery? Because he wanted to work the graveyard shift!
How does a possum ask for a favor? “Can I ‘possum’ly ask you for a hand?”
Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the forest? Because he wanted to be a possum traveler!
How does a possum find a friend? It plays dead and waits for someone to ‘hang out’ with!
Why did the possum bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the food was on the top shelf!
Why did the possum bring a leaf to the dinner table? Because he wanted to have a salad possum-style!
Why are possums so good at playing hide and seek? Because they’re excellent at playing possum!
Why did the possum bring a map to the grocery store? Because it wanted to find the aisle with the most pos-sum food!
Why did the possum join the gym? It wanted to get in shape for playing possum!
Why did the possum start a band? Because he wanted to be a rock ‘n’ roll marsupial!
Why don’t possums ever get in trouble? Because they always play possum-it!
What did the possum say to its friend who got a new job? “Don’t be a quitter, be a possumer!”

Possum Jokes for Kids

Possum jokes for kids are like the hidden gems of the joke world—unexpected, intriguing, and always a hit with the youngsters.

These jokes encourage children to engage with language in a new and exciting way, promoting a sense of humor that’s as unique as the animal itself.

Moreover, possum jokes for kids offer the added benefit of sparking curiosity about these nocturnal creatures, transforming a common backyard visitor into a delightful subject of amusement.

Ready for some fun that’s as playful as a possum?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling under the moonlight:

Why did the possum go to school early? It wanted to be the first one to play “possum hide and seek”!
Why did the possum bring a flashlight? To find its way through the dark woods!
What do you call a possum who becomes a judge? A ‘possum-trate’!
What did the possum say to the other possum when he stole his food? “Don’t play possum with me!”.
Why did the possum cross the road? To show everyone he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the possum join a gym? To get more exercise and play dead-lifts!
Why was the possum so good at soccer? Because it always played dead-ball!
Why did the possum start a gardening club? Because they wanted to learn how to play possum-tulips!
Why did the possum bring a map to the party? In case it got lost and needed to play possum somewhere else!
Why did the possum bring a map to the dance party? Because it wanted to show off its possum dancing moves all around the world!
What’s a possum’s favorite kind of music? Soft rock, because they love to relax and hang out!
How does a possum ask for food? Can I ‘possum-bly’ have a snack?
What do you call a possum that loves to play hide and seek? A possum with a great sense of hide-ation!
What do you call a possum that’s a great detective? Sherlock O’Possum!
Why did the possum become a teacher? Because it wanted to show everyone how to play possum!
How did the possum fix its computer? It played dead and then pretended to be a mouse!
Why don’t possums ever argue? Because they always find a way to hang in there together!
What’s a possum’s favorite holiday? Halloween, because they get to play dead all the time!
What do you get if you cross a possum with a kangaroo? A hoppy-go-lucky creature!
What do you get when you cross a possum and a kangaroo? A jumpy, pouch-carrying marsupial!
Why did the possum bring a map to the party? Because he didn’t want to get lost and become a lost-possum!
What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? O-possum pudding!
What do you get when you cross a possum with a kangaroo? A marsupial that plays dead and can hop really high!
What do you call a possum that drives a racecar? A Nascara!
What did one possum say to the other when they bumped into each other? Ouch, my bad-eye!
How does a possum call his friends? On his o-possum phone!
What did the possum say when it saw its reflection? “Hey, that’s a possum-ive attitude!”
What did the mama possum say to her baby when it was time to go to bed? “It’s time to ‘play possum’ and get some sleep!”
How does a possum send a letter? By using his possum-tail mail!
How does a possum ask for a treat? “Can I have some ‘possum-tively’ yummy food, please?”
What did one possum say to the other when it saw something surprising? “You’ve got to be playing possum!”
What’s a possum’s favorite bedtime story? “Possum and the Three Bears”!
What did the possum say to the other animals at the party? “I’m just hanging around!”
What did the possum say when he bumped into the squirrel? Pardon me, I’m “possum”ing through!
What do you call a possum that can play dead really well? An Oscar-winning actor!
What’s a possum’s favorite food? Take-out, because they can always play dead and get a free meal!
What do you call a possum that can play dead and juggle? A multitasking marsupial!
Why was the possum a great singer? It always had a “possum-tive” attitude!
What did the possum say when it won a race? “I’m possum-tively the fastest possum around!”
How do possums like to travel? They opossumly take the night bus!
Why do possums never get into trouble at school? Because they always play possum!
Why did the possum go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of “playing possum” too often!
Why did the possum start a band? Because it already had a great playing dead drum solo!
What is a possum’s favorite sport? “Possum-ball”!
Why don’t possums play basketball? They’re afraid of shooting hoops!
How does a possum celebrate its birthday? By playing dead and surprising all its friends!
What is a possum’s favorite board game? Mouse Trap!
What’s a possum’s favorite food? Anything on the half-shell!
What do you call a possum that’s a great singer? A possum-note-able!
What do you call a possum with a top hat? An “oppossum” gentleman!
What’s a possum’s favorite sport? Playin’ possum-ball!
Why did the possum become a chef? Because he was an expert in ‘playing possum’ and blending into the kitchen!
Why don’t possums ever get lost? Because they always have their GPS (Glowing Possum Sign) turned on!
What did the possum say when it got a surprise? “Oh, that’s quite a shocker!”
What did the possum say to its friend who was always late? “You’re always a-hanging me out to dry!”
What did the possum say when it got a promotion? “I’ve been playing possum too long, it’s time to climb the corporate tree!”
How does a possum go shopping? It plays possum and waits for someone to carry it to the store!
Why do possums always carry a tissue? Because they are always ‘playing possum’!
How do possums send messages? By using their e-possums!
What do you call a possum that becomes a famous musician? A rock ‘n’ roller!
What’s a possum’s favorite movie? The Great Escape!
How does a possum organize a party? It plays dead and waits for the guests to arrive!
Why did the possum bring a ladder? To climb up the tallest tree and scare the birds!
What did the possum say to his friend? “I’m not playing possum, I’m just hanging around!”
What did the possum say when someone asked if he wanted to go on a trip? “Sure, I’ll just play possum and pack my bags!”
How does a possum ask for a ride? Can I hop in your pouch?
What do you call a possum that becomes a spy? A secret agent-ile!
Why did the possum invite his friends to the movie theater? Because he wanted to see a “possum” blockbuster!
What did the baby possum say to its mother? I’m not playing possum, I really am tired!
Why did the possum bring a map to the party? Because he heard it was a “possum-bility” he might get lost!
What do you call a possum with a big ego? An opossumistic!
What do you call a possum that can skateboard? An opossum pro!
Why did the possum bring a ladder to the party? Because he wanted to hang out with the cool cats on the tree!
What did the baby possum say to its mom? “I’m possum-tively adorable!”
Why did the possum take a nap in the middle of the road? Because it wanted to play dead-center!
Why did the possum bring a ladder to the library? Because it wanted to reach the high shelf!
What do you call a group of possums playing music? A rock-possum band!
What do you call a possum that loves to take pictures? A selfie possum!
Why did the possum bring a pillow to the movie theater? Because it wanted to play “possum-couch”!
Why did the possum bring a pencil and paper to the tree? Because he wanted to “draw” a crowd!
What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? Opossum pie à la mode!
What do you call a possum that likes to tell jokes? A ‘possom’edian!
Why did the possum bring a flashlight to bed? So it can play ‘possum’ even in the dark!
Why did the possum bring a pencil and paper to bed? In case he had a night-‘possum’!
Why did the possum take up knitting? Because he heard it was a great way to play “possum”!
What did the possum say to its friend? “I’m so good at playing dead, I could win an Oscar-possum!”
What’s a possum’s favorite subject in school? Playful arts, because they love to hang around and have fun!
Why did the possum bring a ladder to the party? Because he heard it was a “hanging” out kind of event!
Why did the possum take up dancing? It wanted to join the possum ballet!
Why did the possum bring a flashlight to the party? Because he wanted to be the light of the marsupial!
What did the possum say when it found its favorite snack? “O-possum!”
Why did the possum go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little “off”!
Why don’t possums ever play hide-and-seek? Because they are always playing possum!
Why did the possum bring a pillow to the picnic? So it could take a cat-nap!
Why did the possum take up acting? Because he was tired of playing dead all the time and wanted to be a star!
What do you call a possum that becomes a famous chef? A culinary opossum!
What did the possum say to the other animals at the party? “Hey, let’s play possum!”
Why did the possum bring a map to the grocery store? Because it wanted to find the best deals on fruits and vegetables!
What did the possum say when it won an award? “I’m just hanging by a thread!”
How do you invite a possum to a party? Just say, “O-possum, you want to come?”
What did the possum say when he won the game? I’m “possum”ed with joy!
How does a possum count to ten? On its paws!
What do you call a possum that likes music? A rockin’ possum!
Why did the possum go to the dentist? To ‘play possum’ and get his teeth checked!
What did the possum say when it got a job? “I guess I’ll be working nine to opossum!”
Why don’t possums ever get lost? Because they always have their GPS (Grin Possumly Smiley) with them!
What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? Peach cobbler!
Why did the possum enjoy playing hide-and-seek? Because it was excellent at pretending to be a log!
Why do possums never become knights? Because they always play dead instead of jousting!
What did the possum say when it won the race? “I guess I’m just really good at possum-bilities!”
Why did the possum get a job as a cashier? It wanted to be able to play ‘possum’ with money!
Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the party? Because it wanted to play “possum” and have a surprise entrance!
Why do possums make terrible bankers? They’re always playing deadbeats!
What do you call a possum with a fancy hat? A posh-possum!
Why did the possum bring a flashlight to the movie theater? Because it wanted to shine some light on the plot!

Possum Jokes for Adults

Who says that possums can’t be a source of hilarious entertainment?

Possum jokes for adults take cleverness to the next level, intertwining smart comedy with a dose of sly wit, in the true spirit of these nocturnal creatures.

Like the possum playing dead, these jokes come with an unexpected twist of humor, intellect, and a sprinkle of playful naughtiness, enough to bring a hearty laugh.

These jokes are perfect for campfire gatherings, late-night catch-ups, or simply to inject some humor into a serious discussion among friends.

Here are some possum jokes that are a hit among adults:

Why did the possum refuse to share its snacks? It believed in “possum-sessive” eating habits!
What’s a possum’s favorite game show? “The Price is Right… Behind You!”
Why did the possum bring a pen and paper to the movie theater? It wanted to take notes during the suspenseful scenes!
How do you invite a possum to a party? Just “possum” a question and it will come running!
Why don’t possums like riddles? Because they always play dead when they can’t find the answer!
What did one possum say to the other at the gym? “Let’s get fit and play possum-ball!”
Why did the possum start a band? Because it wanted to create some “opossum jazz” music!
Why did the possum become a musician? It loved playing dead notes on the piano!
Why did the possum invite its friends over for dinner? Because it wanted to ‘play possum’ and surprise them!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to play dead and make people laugh at the same time!
Why did the possum bring a ladder to the party? To play dead and climb up the social ladder!
Why did the possum become an astronaut? It wanted to be the first possum to play dead in space!
What did the possum say to the annoying neighbor? “Quit playing ‘possumsum’ and leave me alone!”
Why did the possum start a comedy club? It wanted to be the king of “possum”edy!
What do you call a possum that becomes a detective? Sherlock “Bones” Holmes!
What did the possum say to its friend when it accidentally bumped into a tree? “Well, that was a “possum”ble mistake!”
Why did the possum join a book club? It wanted to discuss the famous novel “To Kill a Possum”!
Why did the possum go to the dentist? It wanted to play dead while getting its teeth checked!
What did the possum say to its friend? “I’m playing possum… don’t rat me out!”
Why did the possum take a vacation? It needed to relax and hang out!
What did the possum say to its friend after winning a race? I’m the fastest possum-tively!
Why did the possum go to space? It wanted to play ‘possum’ among the stars!
Why did the possum go to therapy? It had an existential crisis about playing dead all the time!
How do you throw a surprise party for a possum? Hide the garbage can!
Why did the possum start a band? Because it wanted to play “Possum and Go Seek” on stage!
What did the possum say when it crossed the road? “I’m just playing possum!”
What’s a possum’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline, because they love playing dead!
What did the possum say to its friend who was always late? “You better hurry up or you’ll be playing dead in traffic!”
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? It was tired of playing dead and wanted to make others laugh!
What did the possum say to its partner on Valentine’s Day? “You’re the only one I want to “possum-bly” be with!”
How did the possum become a comedian? It played dead until everyone laughed out loud!
What did one possum say to the other when it was caught stealing? “Hey, don’t blame me, I’m just hanging around!”
Why did the possum enroll in a cooking class? It heard they were learning how to play dead rolls!
What did the possum say to its partner after a long day? “Let’s play dead tired tonight!”
Why did the possum bring a broom to the party? It wanted to sweep everyone off their feet with its “playing dead” skills!
What did the possum say to the other when it won the race? I guess I really nailed it playing possum!
What did the possum say to its neighbor after winning the lottery? “I’m playing dead and moving to a better tree!”
Why don’t possums like to play hide and seek? They find it too “playing dead”!
Why did the possum take up boxing? Because it wanted to show off its knockout ‘play dead’ move!
What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Soft “Paws”-itive Rock!
Why don’t possums ever get bored? Because they’re always “hanging” out!
How do possums like their coffee? With a lot of ‘possum-nality’!
Why did the possum go to acting school? Because it wanted to perfect its “playing dead” performance!
What do you call a possum with a sunburn? A roasted marshmallow!
How do you know when a possum is throwing a party? When you see lots of playing dead animals on the dance floor!
What did the possum say when it won the lottery? “Now I can finally afford to play possum and sleep all day!”
How did the possum win the talent show? It played dead and fooled the judges into thinking it was a statue!
What did the possum say to its friend who was feeling down? “Don’t worry, just ‘possum’ vibes will get you through!”
Why did the possum enroll in a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to “play dead” on a dinner plate!
What did the possum say when it got caught stealing food? “I’m just playing ‘possum’ with your leftovers!”
How do possums party? They play “possum” music and dance the night away!
What’s a possum’s favorite TV show? “Playing Dead Walking”!
What did the possum say to its friend during a scary movie? “I’ve got this acting thing down, I could totally win an Oscar for playing dead!”
What did the possum say to its friend at the gym? “I’m just here for the treadmill… I don’t lift!”
What’s a possum’s favorite game to play with friends? Hide and seek… but it’s always seeking!
Why did the possum invite all its friends to the comedy show? It wanted to play possum and make them laugh!
Why did the possum start a band? It wanted to be the ultimate master of playing possum!
What do you call a possum that’s a secret agent? A double “o” possum!
What did the possum say to its friend who was feeling down? “Hey, don’t ‘possum’ your problems onto me!”
How does a possum ask someone out on a date? “Can I play possum in your heart?”
Why did the possum go to art school? It wanted to learn how to play dead like a masterpiece!
What did the possum say to the squirrel? “I’m so good at acting, I could win an Oscar for my performance as a dead animal!”
Why did the possum bring a backpack to the party? Because it wanted to play “possum” and sneak in some snacks!
Why don’t possums have social media accounts? They prefer to play “possum” and stay off the grid!
What did one possum say to the other after a long day? “I’m so tired, I could just ‘possum’ out right here!”
How did the possum feel after winning the lottery? Like playing possum was finally paying off!
What did the possum say after it won the lottery? “I guess I’ve hit the possum-bilites!”
Why did the possum become a chef? Because it mastered the art of playing possum in the kitchen!
How do you make a possum stop playing dead? Tell it to “play alive” instead!
What did the possum say to its friend at the gym? “Let’s do some “hang” exercises!”
What’s a possum’s favorite board game? “Hide and Go Seek,” because it’s an expert at playing dead!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to show off its incredible “playing dead” act!
What did the possum say to its partner during a dance? “Let’s play possum and slow-motion glide across the dance floor!”
How do possums greet each other? With a “play dead” handshake, of course!
What do you call a possum that likes to go shopping? A ‘possumer’!
What did the possum say to the squirrel? “I’m playing possum, you should try it too!”
Why was the possum chosen as the class president? It was great at playing both sides!
Why did the possum become a doctor? It wanted to specialize in “playing possum” medicine!
What did the possum say to its crush? “You’re so attractive, it’s making me play dead!”
Why did the possum get a job at the bakery? It wanted to work with all the “possum”ing bread!
Why did the possum become a detective? It had a knack for sniffing out clues and playing dead-serious!
Why did the possum start a rock band? It wanted to be known for its “possum-ability” to play guitar!
What’s a possum’s favorite game? Hide-and-Go-“Play Dead”!
How does a possum ask someone out on a date? “Hey babe, want to play dead together?”
Why did the possum bring a map to the party? It didn’t want to get lost playing dead in someone else’s yard!
Why do possums make terrible lawyers? They’re always playing dead in court!
How did the possum become a comedian? It had a knack for playing “possumic” tricks on its audience!
Why did the possum invite all its friends to the backyard? It wanted to throw a “playing possum” party!
Why do possums make terrible comedians? Because their punchlines always fall flat… just like their playing dead act!
What do you call a possum that loves to play practical jokes? A prankster possum!
What did the possum say when it won the lottery? “I guess you could say I’m ‘playing possum’ with my money now!”
How did the possum become a computer expert? It aced the “playing possum” game on the internet!
Why did the possum become a detective? Because it was excellent at playing dead!
What did the possum say to its friend at a party? Let’s play possumble!
Why did the possum go to therapy? Because it was tired of people saying, “Playing dead won’t solve your problems!”
Why did the possum take up painting? It wanted to blend in with its surroundings!
Why did the possum become a detective? It was tired of playing possum and wanted to catch some real criminals!
Why did the possum bring a pillow to the party? It wanted to make sure it could comfortably play dead wherever it went!
What do you call a possum that becomes a lawyer? An attorney-playing possum!
Why do possums never carry cash? Because they prefer playing dead-bits instead of investing in real estate!
Why did the possum become a lawyer? It wanted to play dead in court!
What did the possum say when it got caught stealing a car? “I was just trying to get a little “possum”tion!”
What did the possum say when it won an award? “I guess playing dead finally paid off!”
What did the possum say when it met a famous rock star? “I’m a huge fan, but I’ve been ‘playing possum’ with your music for years!”
Why did the possum start a comedy club? It wanted to improve its “opossum-ication” skills!
What did the possum say when it heard a good joke? That’s the funniest thing since playing possum!
What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? Apple possum pie!
Why did the possum become a detective? It was tired of everyone always playing possum when it came to solving crimes!
What did the possum say to its friend who kept telling bad jokes? “You’re really “playing possum” with those punchlines!”
Why did the possum become an actor? Because it loved playing “possum” in the spotlight!
Why did the possum go to therapy? Because it was tired of ‘playing possum’ every time something scared it!
What did one possum say to the other possum at the bar? “You play dead well, but can you hold your liquor?”
Why don’t possums play hide-and-seek? Because they always get caught playing dead!
How do you know if a possum is a good dancer? It has killer moves when playing possum!
Why don’t possums get COVID-19? Because they’re experts at playing dead!
Why did the possum become a lawyer? It knew how to play dead and still win the case!
How does a possum like its coffee? With a lot of sugar and a little bit of ‘possum’ in it!
What did the possum say when it found its lost car keys? “I’m so glad I didn’t have to play possum and hitchhike home!”
Why did the possum always carry a pencil? It liked to play opossum-sudoku!
Why did the possum get a job as a baker? Because it wanted to make doughnut holes disappear like magic!
What did the possum say when it lost its tail? “It’s just a tail-tastrophy!”
How does a possum ask for a date? It says, “Hey babe, wanna hang out and play dead?”
What did the possum say when it got a job as a waiter? “I’ll play dead on the job if anyone asks for a tip!”
Why was the possum always grumpy? It had a really “hissy” attitude!
What did the possum say when it played a prank? “I’m just ‘playing dead’ serious!”
Why did the possum become a detective? Because it wanted to solve “who played possum” mysteries!
What did the possum say when it won the lottery? “I guess I’ll finally be able to afford a more posh ‘sum!”
What do you call a possum with no friends? A lone-ranger possum!
What’s a possum’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Branches” – it’s all about their tree-climbing adventures!
What’s a possum’s favorite food? Anything that’s “possum-able” to eat!
Why don’t possums like riddles? They always play dead when you ask them!
What’s a possum’s favorite movie? “The Great Escape,” because it knows all about playing dead!
Why don’t possums like riddles? They find them too “opossum”ing!
Why did the possum bring a broom to the party? In case it needed to sweep someone off their feet!
Why don’t possums ever get bored? They’re always playing ‘possum’ games!
Why was the possum always invited to parties? Because it was a master at playing dead-charades!
How did the possum’s date go? It was a bit of a “possum” disaster!
What do you call a possum that loves to gamble? A high-stakes ‘possum’-player!
Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? It had a knack for playing ‘possum’ in front of a crowd!
How does a possum find its way around town? It uses its “tail-GPS”!
What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop… because they’re always hopping around!

Possum Joke Generator

Finding the perfect possum joke can sometimes feel like you’re playing dead.

(Catch my drift?)

That’s when our FREE Possum Joke Generator comes to the rescue.

Engineered to weave witty puns, nocturnal humor, and playful phrases, it designs jokes that are sure to spark laughter.

Don’t let your humor hang upside down.

Use our joke generator to brew up jokes that are as lively and entertaining as your favorite possums.

FAQs About Possum Jokes

Why are possum jokes so popular?

Possum jokes are popular because they play on the unique characteristics and behaviors of this nocturnal marsupial.

They’re quirky, unexpected, and offer an entertaining way to highlight the oddities of the possum’s lifestyle, such as their tendency to play dead.

Can possum jokes help in social situations?

Indeed!

Telling a good joke is an excellent way to break the ice, lighten the atmosphere, or simply bring out your humorous side.

Possum jokes, with their peculiar charm, can evoke laughter in a variety of settings.

How can I come up with my own possum jokes?

Get to know the common traits of possums—their habits, their distinctive appearance, and their famous playing dead act.
Possums have a distinct vocabulary related to them (e.g., marsupial, nocturnal, pouch). Look for homophones, or amusing phrases involving these words.
Imagine the setting or scene of your joke. Is it a suburban backyard encounter? Maybe it’s a camping mishap? Tailor your humor to fit the circumstance.
Modify a known saying or phrase to include possum elements.
Embrace puns and wordplay. Possum jokes are an excellent opportunity for some fun language games and punny humor!

Are there any tips for remembering possum jokes?

Try to associate possum jokes with scenarios where they might be relevant—camping trips, night-time adventures, or even wildlife documentaries.

Creating these associations can help the jokes stick in your mind.

How can I make my possum jokes better?

The key is in the punchline.

Find a common theme with your audience, use the element of surprise, and don’t be afraid to play with words.

Remember, practice makes perfect, so keep telling your jokes to see what works and what gets the best laughs.

How does the Possum Joke Generator work?

Our Possum Joke Generator is your one-stop shop for instant amusement, producing laugh-out-loud jokes with just a few clicks.

Enter keywords related to your possum-themed humor or situation, and press the Generate Jokes button.

Within moments, you’ll have a collection of hilarious, fresh possum jokes ready to share.

Is the Possum Joke Generator free?

Absolutely, our Possum Joke Generator is totally free to use!

Generate as many jokes as you want and keep your content entertaining and fun.

Feel free to fill your social feeds with humor that’s as quirky and unique as the possum itself.

Conclusion

Possum jokes offer a whimsical twist to everyday chats, making life a bit more delightful with each chuckle.

From the brisk and clever to the extended and hilarious, there’s a possum joke for every situation.

So next time you spot a possum, remember, there’s humor to be found in every bushy tail, pointy nose, and cute marsupial antic.

Keep circulating the giggles, and let the good times swing and scamper.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without possums—unthinkable and, honestly, a bit less adventurous.

Happy joking, everyone!

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