891 Pregnancy Jokes That Are More Fun Than a Baby Shower

If you’ve landed on this page, it means you’re ready to delve into the world of pregnancy jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the pick of the litter.

That’s why we’ve crafted a collection of the most uproarious pregnancy jokes.

From baby bump zingers to stretch-mark wisecracks, our compilation has a joke for every trimester.

So, let’s embark on this humorous journey through pregnancy, one joke at a time.

Pregnancy Jokes

Pregnancy jokes have a special way of tickling the funny bone, adding a sense of humor to the beautiful yet complex journey of expecting mothers.

They’re not only about the nine-month expedition, but also about the quirky cravings, the mood swings, and the surprising transformations that pregnancy brings along.

This makes it a fertile ground for light-hearted jest and laughter.

Creating the perfect pregnancy joke involves a playful imagination, an understanding of the highs and lows of pregnancy, and the ability to laugh at the unexpected surprises that it entails (like forgetting why you entered a room or the sudden urge to eat pickles at 3 AM).

Ready for some belly laughs?

Indulge in these pregnancy jokes that are sure to lighten up the mood and bring a smile to your face, whether you are expecting or not:

  • How do you know if a pregnant woman is having a boy or a girl? Just wait and see if she’s carrying a football or a shopping bag!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman carrying a coffee? Decafinated.
  • What did the pregnant woman say when her water broke? “I should have drank more water!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the fancy restaurant? Because she wanted to give birth to a classy little delivery!
  • Why did the pregnant woman’s phone go to the doctor? It had morning app sickness!
  • Why did the pregnant lady wear a helmet? She wanted to protect her little bun in the oven!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she found out she was having triplets? “Oh baby, that’s a lot to handle!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the delivery room? She heard the baby would be delivered by a C-section!
  • Why don’t you ever play hide and seek with mountains? Because they always peak-a-boo!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a camera with her? She wanted to capture every “bump” in the road on her journey to motherhood!
  • How do you know if a pregnant woman is having a boy or a girl? Ask her if she’s expecting her baby to be a delivery or a pick-up!
  • Why do pregnant ladies make great detectives? They always have a hunch!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the grocery store? She heard she was supposed to pick up a “baby bump”!
  • Why was the pregnant lady always so tired? She was always laboring!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she couldn’t find her car keys? “I guess I’m just having a baby brain moment!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman start talking to her belly button? Because she wanted to have a good “navel” conversation!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the art museum? Because she heard there was a lot of “baby art” on display!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her husband when she couldn’t find her favorite shirt? “I guess you could say I’m really ‘expecting’ to find it!”
  • Why was the pregnant math teacher so emotional? She had too many X’s and Y’s to deal with.
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a garden? She wanted to experience the miracle of “conceiving” and “delivering” all in one place!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who can play the guitar? A rocking mom-to-be!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the grocery store? She wanted to get high on “expecting” shelves!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the art gallery? She wanted her baby to start appreciating fine art from the womb!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a referee? She was used to calling false starts.
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who plays music? A momposer!
  • Why did the pregnant woman become an astronaut? She wanted to experience weightlessness before the baby weight kicked in!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a stand-up comedy career? She wanted to give her baby a good sense of humor from the start!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman on roller skates? Preggo-roller!
  • Why do pregnant women never get arrested? Because they have contractions!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman on a trampoline? A bouncing baby momma.
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who can do magic tricks? A “prestomom”!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman carrying a package? A mom-to-be delivery!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who can’t stop singing? A humpty dumpty!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a band? Because she had the biggest belly drum.
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a math teacher? Because she wanted to teach her baby about the “bump” in geometry!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a vegetable with her? She wanted her baby to be delivered by a C-section.
  • What did the pregnant pickle say to her partner? “I’m kind of in a pickle here!”
  • Why was the math book crying? It had too many story problems about pregnant women!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always on her computer? She was expecting an email!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a pillow to the party? So she could have a maternity napkin.
  • Why did the pregnant woman start studying astronomy? She wanted to learn about all the new “constella-tions” that were forming in her body!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she saw her ultrasound? “Looks like we’re expecting a little Picasso!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady start calling her husband “The Delivery Guy”? Because he always brought her food cravings.
  • Why did the pregnant woman become an athlete? She wanted to win the labor Olympics.
  • What did the pregnant woman say when asked if she wanted a boy or a girl? “I just want a healthy sense of humor!”
  • I asked my pregnant wife if she wanted to go out for dinner. She said, “No thanks, I’m already stuffed!”
  • What did the baby say to the pregnant mother? “Can’t wait to finally meet you and give you sleepless nights!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the bakery every day? She kneaded the dough!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she saw her baby for the first time? “Well, this explains the food cravings!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman start playing music to her belly? She wanted her baby to be born with a good beat!
  • Why don’t pregnant women go skydiving? Because it’s difficult to find parachutes that fit over a baby bump!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman’s favorite dance move? The baby bump!
  • Why did the pregnant lady wear a garlic necklace? She heard it kept the baby vampires away!
  • Why was the pregnant lady always on her phone? She was expecting a text delivery.
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because she heard the baby aisle had a great sale on “crib” notes!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s always on time? Punctual, because she’s expecting!
  • Why was the math book so excited about the pregnant woman? It heard there would be a lot of delivery!
  • Why did the pregnant lady sit on an ice pack? She wanted to keep her cool during the hot flashes!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she found out she was expecting twins? “Looks like my belly’s got double the “occupancy”!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady become an astronaut? She wanted to experience zero gravity before giving birth.
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the art museum? She wanted to see the masterpieces before her own masterpiece arrives!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who dances? A “baby bump and grinder”!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start eating batteries? She heard it was a good way to have a “rechargeable” baby!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she felt her baby kick for the first time? “Womb service!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a detective? She was always ready to uncover a bump.
  • Why did the pregnant woman become a detective? She wanted to find out who the father was!
  • What did the baby say to the pregnant belly? “I can’t wait to meet you, but could you hurry up? I’m getting a bit cramped in here!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the bank? She wanted to make a baby deposit!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who gets into a fight? A “labor” of love!
  • What did the pregnant grape say to the wine? Nothing, she just gave it a little whine!
  • Why do pregnant women never go on roller coasters? They don’t want any more ups and downs in their life.
  • Why did the pregnant lady sit on an iceberg? She wanted to have a baby that was chilled to the core!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the bar? She wanted to raise the roof!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start singing karaoke? She wanted her baby to come out with perfect pitch!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the comedy club? She needed a good laugh to induce labor!
  • Why did the scarecrow blush during pregnancy? Because it heard the corny jokes!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who wins a race? A “speed bump”!
  • Why did the pregnant lady get kicked out of the library? She was telling everyone the baby was due in the “fiction” section!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the seafood restaurant? Because she wanted a little something to tide her over!
  • Why did the pregnant woman refuse to go on a roller coaster? She didn’t want to “bump” into any unexpected complications!
  • Why did the pregnant woman have trouble with her computer? She had a lot of contractions.
  • What did the pregnant woman say to the baby when it started kicking? “Quit womb-ing around!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a gardening club? She wanted to experience labor and delivery.
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a circus? She wanted to show off her amazing balancing act with her growing belly!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she was asked if she was having a boy or a girl? “I’m not sure, but I’m hoping for a “delivHERy” surprise!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her partner when asked if they wanted a boy or a girl? “Either way, we’re going to be diapering a lot of butts!”
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she couldn’t find her phone? “I guess it’s just another case of pregnancy brain!”
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who runs a marathon? A woman who is about to “deliver” outstanding results!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who is also a detective? A private “eye” with a baby bump!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who takes up boxing? A mother-to-be knockout.
  • How does a pregnant woman like her coffee? Decaf-inated!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a flashlight to the hospital? She wanted to make sure the doctor didn’t “deliver” in the dark!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a pillow to the bank? She wanted to make a “de-pos-it” for her baby’s future!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she saw a stork? “I guess they really do deliver babies, but I didn’t know they also do takeout!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman start wearing high heels? She wanted to be ready for the “baby steps!”
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she accidentally bumped into a wall? “Oops, I’m expanding my horizons!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a spoon to the doctor’s appointment? Because she heard she was going to have a little stir-crazy!
  • Why did the pregnant math teacher always carry a calculator? Because she wanted to count her contractions!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because she heard the prices were going through the roof!
  • Why did the pregnant lady carry a watermelon with her? She wanted to have a “delivery practice!”
  • What did the pregnant tomato say to the baby tomato? “Catch up!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman start gardening? Because she heard it was a great way to “grow” a baby bump!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the art museum? She wanted to see the “bump” in Monet’s paintings!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a basketball with her? Because she was expecting a full court press!
  • Why do pregnant women always carry a tissue with them? In case they have an umbilical issue!
  • Why did the pregnant woman take up knitting? She wanted to practice for all the baby booties she’d be making!
  • Why was the pregnant lady banned from the bakery? She put a bun in the oven!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying around a basketball? Because she wanted to be prepared for the labor and delivery!
  • Why do pregnant ladies always carry a tissue? In case they have a maternity.
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a basketball to the party? She heard they were playing “bump”!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always on the phone? She was expecting a call!
  • Why did the pregnant lady wear a see-through dress? So the baby could see the world before being born.
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a ladder with her everywhere she went? She heard she was supposed to bring her own labor.
  • What do you call a pregnant woman’s cravings? A bun in the oven and a pizza on speed dial!
  • Why did the pregnant lady refuse to go to the bakery? She didn’t want any buns in her oven, just a baby!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a watermelon? In case she got hungry for a baby-sized snack!
  • What did the baby say to the ultrasound machine? “Can you hear me now?”
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who constantly forgets things? Baby brainiac!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn child during a job interview? “Sorry, but maternity leave starts in nine months!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady start studying math? She wanted to be able to count down the days until the due date!
  • Why do pregnant women always win arguments? Because they have two wombs to back up their points!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s always on the move? In labor from place to place!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a watermelon to her doctor’s appointment? She wanted to show the baby what it would be like outside the womb!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a choir? Because she wanted to have contractions on cue!
  • Why did the pregnant woman wear a watch on her ankle? She wanted to have “second” trimester!
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like pregnant women!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman wearing a green dress? A watermelon patch!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a band? She wanted to have a little bump and grind!
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including pregnancy tests.
  • Why did the pregnant woman have a hard time telling jokes? She was afraid her water would break from laughter.
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she saw a spider? “Get this creepy crawler out of my nursery!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a band? She wanted to deliver some sick beats.
  • Why do pregnant women always win at poker? They have the best poker face, thanks to their raging hormones!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the baseball game? She heard they were serving up a bun in the catcher’s mitt!
  • What do you call it when two pregnant ladies have a race? A baby shower!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start playing the trumpet? She heard it helps with “labor breathing!”
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she saw a stork? “I hope you’re just a myth!”
  • What did the pregnant computer say to its baby? You’re my chip off the old block!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start learning magic? She wanted to master the art of “disappearing belly!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a gardening business? She wanted to grow a “bumpkin”!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the bakery? She kneaded a little extra dough!
  • Why did the pregnant woman wear a seatbelt even when she was sitting down? She wanted to buckle up for her baby’s safety!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who tells dad jokes? A “mom” comedian!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a stopwatch to her doctor’s appointment? She wanted to time how long she had been pregnant for nine months!
  • Why did the pregnant lady join a choir? She wanted her baby to have a good “womb” of singers.
  • Why did the pregnant lady join the marathon? She wanted to show off her baby bump and run like a baby gazelle!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a map everywhere? She didn’t want to accidentally “deliver” the baby in the wrong place!
  • Why did the pregnant woman watch a horror movie? She wanted to feel something scarier than childbirth!
  • Why do pregnant women never go on roller coasters? They already have enough ups and downs!

 

Short Pregnancy Jokes

Short pregnancy jokes are like unexpected cravings—quirky, surprising, and irresistibly amusing.

These jokes are perfect for baby showers, social media updates, or as a lighthearted way to break the ice with your obstetrician.

The charm of short pregnancy jokes lies in their ability to be both endearing and amusing, delivering laughs in just a few words without overwhelming the delicate sensibilities of expecting mothers.

And now, let’s push the humor button!

Here are short pregnancy jokes that deliver a hearty chuckle in just a few words.

  • What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite musical? “Wicked” (womb)!
  • What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite exercise? Running to the bathroom!
  • Why did the scarecrow blush? It saw the farmer’s pregnant cornfield!
  • Why do pregnant women never go on trips? They’ve got baggage!
  • Why did the pregnant woman run a marathon? She wanted a delivery!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s a great singer? Beybeyoncé!
  • What’s the most common pregnancy craving? Preggo-nachos!
  • Why was the pregnant math teacher glowing? She had a positive addition!
  • What’s the most magical pregnancy craving? Pickles dipped in ice cream!
  • What do you call a pregnant cat? A meow-ternity queen!
  • What’s a pregnant lady’s favorite kind of music? Womb and bass.
  • What do you call a pregnant woman’s photography business? A baby shoot!
  • What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite type of music? Heavy delivery!
  • Why did the scarecrow congratulate the pregnant woman? She had a “bumpkin”!
  • Did you hear about the pregnant bed? It’s expecting spring mattresses!
  • Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating? They have no body to go with!
  • What did the pregnant avocado say to its baby? “Guac-a-bye, baby!”
  • Why don’t skeletons fight each other during pregnancy? They don’t have guts!
  • Why don’t skeletons ever get pregnant? They don’t have the guts.
  • Why was the pregnant lady always on the move? She was expecting!
  • Why was the pregnant lady always on time? She had labor watch!
  • What’s a pregnant cat’s favorite book? The Great Catsby!
  • What’s a pregnant cow’s favorite drink? Milk with extra calf-eine!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s a superhero? Expecting X-Men!
  • Why was the math teacher pregnant? Because she had too many students!
  • What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite exercise? Prenatal yoga-sa!
  • What do you call a pregnant golfer? A hole-in-one-mom!
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle find its pregnant owner? She was two-tired!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always falling asleep? She had delivery dreams!
  • Why do pregnant women never go on roller coasters? They’re already nauseous!
  • What do you call a pregnant comedian? A “stand-up” mom!
  • Why did the scarecrow become a doctor? He delivered outstanding ‘harvests’!
  • Why do moms-to-be love knitting? They’re always expecting stitches!
  • What do you call a pregnant goldfish? A twit in the belly!
  • Why do pregnant women avoid riding bicycles? They don’t want to conceive-trike!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman’s workout routine? Prenatal fitness!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a comedian? She was expecting laughter!
  • What did the baby say to the grapefruit? “Mom, you’re peel-ing!” .

 

Pregnancy Jokes One-Liners

Pregnancy jokes one-liners are the epitome of humor compressed into one compact sentence.

They are the spoken equivalent of experiencing the unexpected joy of a baby kick – amusing, surprising, and incomparably delightful.

Creating a good pregnancy one-liner demands a mix of creativity, accuracy, and a profound respect for the art of puns.

The difficulty lies in encompassing both the setup and the punchline in a compact frame, ensuring maximum hilarity with a bare minimum of words.

Here’s to hoping these pregnancy one-liners deliver you a bundle of laughs:

  • I’m not pregnant, I’m just smuggling a watermelon.
  • Being pregnant is like playing a game of “Is it a baby kick or just gas?”
  • The best diet plan: just get pregnant and watch your cravings turn into an endless parade of pickles and ice cream.
  • Pregnancy cravings are nature’s way of saying, “Go ahead, blame it on the baby.”
  • My baby bump is so big, it should have its own zip code.
  • I’m not saying my wife is hormonal during pregnancy, but she cried during a rerun of Friends.
  • Being pregnant means having the superpower of crying at the drop of a hat, even when the hat is perfectly fine.
  • Pregnancy cravings: the only time eating a jar of pickles with ice cream is socially acceptable.
  • Pregnancy is like living with a tiny dictator who communicates through kicks, cravings, and a sudden distaste for my favorite foods.
  • My pregnant wife said she wants to have a water birth, so I asked her if she’s planning to have a pet fish.
  • Pregnancy is basically just playing host to a tiny human who throws parties in your belly at 3 am.
  • Who needs a gym membership when you can have a baby kickboxing class for free?
  • Pregnancy is like a never-ending game of hide-and-seek with your own toes.
  • The baby is the ultimate wingman – everyone wants to talk to a pregnant woman.
  • Pregnancy has turned me into a human-shaped pillow magnet.
  • Pregnancy is the only time when gaining 25 pounds is celebrated instead of frowned upon.
  • My wife’s cravings during pregnancy are so strange that I’m starting to think I’m the one who’s pregnant.
  • Pregnancy is nature’s way of preparing women for sleep deprivation before the baby even arrives.
  • I asked my pregnant wife if she wanted to go for a walk. She said, “I already feel like a whale, I don’t need to waddle like one too.”
  • I’ve never been more convinced that I could win a dance-off with my fetus than during pregnancy.
  • Pregnancy: The only time when “it’s a girl” or “it’s a boy” is met with both excitement and terror.
  • I told my wife that being pregnant is like carrying a bowling ball around all the time, to which she replied, “Well, you’re the one who knocked me up, so…”
  • Pregnancy is like being a human oven, except it’s a 9-month-long bake-off.
  • My pregnant friend said she’s eating for two, so I asked if I could have her second helping of ice cream, and she slapped me.
  • Being pregnant is like running a marathon, but you’re not allowed to drink any water and there’s a tiny person pushing on your bladder.
  • Pregnancy is the ultimate magic trick – making your belly disappear and a baby appear.
  • Pregnancy is the only time when gaining weight and getting bigger is celebrated rather than frowned upon.
  • Pregnancy brain: the only time when forgetting what you were talking about mid-sentence is considered normal.
  • Pregnancy is just nature’s way of making sure you’re not a fan of sleep before the baby arrives.
  • Pregnancy is nature’s way of saying, “You’re going to gain weight, but at least you get a baby out of it.”
  • Forget about a six-pack, I’m rocking a keg now.
  • Pregnancy: the nine-month-long journey of becoming a human incubator and discovering how many people have opinions about your body.
  • My wife is due in a few months, but I’m due for a nap right now.
  • Being pregnant is like being a superhero, except the only superpower is producing a tiny human.
  • Pregnancy is nature’s way of preparing you for sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and projectile vomit.
  • Being pregnant is like having a backpack full of bricks on your bladder.
  • Pregnancy cravings are just nature’s way of testing your ability to eat an entire pizza and still want pickles on top.
  • The only time in life when you can blame your mood swings on a tiny human who hasn’t even been born yet.
  • Being pregnant is like carrying around a watermelon and constantly being asked if it’s a boy or a girl.
  • Why did the pregnant lady become an athlete? She wanted to compete in the human race!
  • Pregnancy: nine months of preparing to be completely unprepared for parenthood.
  • Pregnancy cravings are like a never-ending game of food roulette. Will it be pickles and ice cream or pizza and chocolate?
  • They say pregnancy glow is a real thing, but let’s be honest, it’s probably just sweat from carrying around extra weight.
  • Pregnancy: the only time in life when gaining weight and having a big belly is considered cute.
  • Pregnancy is like a never-ending science experiment: you never know which food will make you nauseous today.
  • Being pregnant is like living with a tiny dictator who kicks you from the inside and controls your food cravings.
  • Pregnancy is nature’s way of telling you that you have a lot of extra storage space in your body.
  • The most effective contraceptive method is having a pregnant friend who complains about everything.
  • Being pregnant is like carrying around a bowling ball in your belly, except the bowling ball kicks you from the inside.
  • Pregnancy is the ultimate multitasking challenge: growing a human while craving pickles and ice cream simultaneously.
  • Why do they say pregnant women have a “bun in the oven”? Because “baby in the toaster” doesn’t sound as appealing!
  • Pregnancy is a nine-month journey of strange bodily changes and weird food combinations that you never thought possible.
  • Pregnancy: The only time when being kicked from the inside is considered a good thing.
  • Pregnancy is a great time to practice your ninja skills: trying to quietly get out of bed without waking up the baby is an art form.
  • My wife is so pregnant that she went from “I love you” to “I love cake” in just a few months.
  • Pregnancy is a great way to test your bladder’s limits and discover new levels of urgency when nature calls.
  • Pregnancy is the only time in life where you can blame your mood swings on a tiny human.
  • The only thing I’m giving birth to these days is the urge to pee every five minutes.
  • They say pregnant women have a glow, but I just feel like I’m constantly sweating.
  • They say pregnancy cravings are weird, but I once knew a woman who craved pickles and motor oil.
  • My wife’s pregnancy cravings are so weird, I had to Google if pickles and ice cream were an actual thing.
  • Pregnancy: the only time when going from a small to an extra-large feels like a major accomplishment.
  • I thought pregnancy cravings were just a myth until my wife woke me up at 3 am asking for pickles and ice cream.
  • I’m not fat, I’m just pregnant with awesome.
  • Being pregnant is like having a permanent food baby, but with actual baby.
  • Pregnancy: the only time when gaining weight is actually celebrated and rewarded with baby showers and cake.
  • Being pregnant is like being a human piñata, except instead of candy, you get random kicks in the ribs.
  • My wife says she’s eating for two, but I didn’t realize she meant two sumo wrestlers.
  • I asked my pregnant wife if she wanted to go for a walk, and she replied, “I can’t, I’m expecting.” I said, “Expecting what?”
  • Pregnancy is the only time when it’s socially acceptable to touch a stranger’s belly and comment on the size of it.
  • Being pregnant means every time you sneeze, you’re playing Russian roulette with your bladder.
  • My pregnant wife’s mood swings are so unpredictable that I’ve started taking notes and treating her like a weather forecast.
  • Pregnancy is the ultimate excuse to ask for help with simple tasks like tying your shoes or reaching for the remote control.
  • Being pregnant is like being a human incubator, except instead of hatching eggs, you’re growing a tiny human.
  • Pregnancy is a nine-month journey of growing a human inside you, complete with morning sickness, stretch marks, and a constant urge to pee.
  • Pregnancy is like a marathon, but instead of a medal at the end, you get a baby.
  • My pregnant wife asked me to feel the baby kick. I said, “That’s not fair, it’s not like the baby can feel me kick back.”
  • You know you’re pregnant when you can’t see your feet, but you can always find your cravings.
  • I asked my pregnant wife if she wanted to go to the gym, but she said she’s already doing nine months of heavy lifting.
  • Pregnancy: nine months of wondering what weird shape your belly button will morph into and praying it will eventually go back to normal.
  • Pregnancy is basically nine months of being a human incubator with a side of morning sickness.
  • Being pregnant means never having to hold in your stomach… because it’s already doing a great job on its own.
  • I’m so pregnant that I have a “Baby on Board” sign on my belly and a “Snacks on Board” sign on my nightstand.
  • Pregnancy is a time when your belly button becomes an outie and your sense of balance becomes an inie.
  • Pregnancy is like being on a roller coaster with morning sickness as your constant companion.
  • I’ve never been more excited to pee on a stick than when I was pregnant.
  • Pregnancy is like a never-ending game of “Guess That Smell.”
  • Being pregnant means carrying a bowling ball on your bladder while doing a cartwheel.
  • Being pregnant is like being a superhero, except instead of a cape, you have a baby bump.
  • Pregnancy cravings are like a scavenger hunt for the most bizarre food combinations you never thought you’d eat.
  • Pregnancy is the only time when you’re excited to gain weight and get bigger.
  • If pregnancy was an Olympic sport, I’d definitely win the gold medal in waddling.
  • Pregnancy is a beautiful miracle that turns previously civilized women into crying, food-craving monsters.
  • Pregnancy brain is a real thing. I once forgot my own name and tried to unlock my front door with my car keys.
  • My wife asked me if I wanted to feel the baby kick, I replied, “I’d rather wait until it knows karate.”
  • Pregnancy: nine months of being a walking science experiment that no one wants to touch.
  • Pregnancy cravings are nature’s way of telling you to eat all the ice cream you want without judgment.
  • Pregnancy cravings are just nature’s way of saying, “You’re eating for two… entire pizzas.”
  • Pregnancy is nature’s way of telling you, “You don’t need sleep anymore, right?”
  • Pregnancy: the only time in your life when it’s socially acceptable to eat for two, and blame it on someone else.
  • I put the ‘labor’ in ‘laborious’ when I try to tie my shoelaces.
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a math teacher? She wanted to multiply!
  • Pregnancy is the only time when gaining weight and having people constantly touch your belly is socially acceptable.
  • Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life when she can say she’s “eating for two” and not be judged.
  • Being pregnant is like being a walking buffet for mosquitoes.
  • Pregnancy tip: If you want to experience what it feels like to be a penguin, just try waddling around with a bowling ball strapped to your stomach.
  • Pregnancy is the ultimate test of bladder control and the need for bathroom proximity at all times.
  • Pregnancy is the only time when you can feel simultaneously ecstatic and terrified about gaining weight.
  • You know you’re pregnant when you start using the phrase “I’m eating for two” as an excuse to finish off a tub of ice cream.
  • When you’re pregnant, every trip to the grocery store becomes a marathon of cravings and waddling.
  • My wife is due to give birth any day now, so I’ve been practicing my dad jokes in preparation. I guess you could say I’m expecting a delivery!
  • I’m not sure if I’m nesting or just really into rearranging furniture every five minutes.
  • I’m so pregnant, even my cravings have cravings.
  • Pregnancy: when going from “bump” to “baby brain” is considered an upgrade.
  • Pregnancy is the ultimate excuse to eat pickles and ice cream together without being judged.
  • My wife said she wanted to have a water birth, so I threw her in the ocean.
  • Pregnancy is the ultimate test of your bladder control. Sneezing, laughing, or just existing can be a risky business.
  • My wife asked me if she looked fat while pregnant, so I replied, “Well, the baby has its own zip code, so…”
  • Pregnancy: the only time it’s socially acceptable to use a beach ball as a fashion accessory.
  • I told my pregnant wife to be careful not to trip and fall because she’s carrying a precious cargo, and she replied, “Well, this cargo keeps kicking me in the bladder.”
  • I’m pretty sure my unborn child is training to be a professional soccer player with all the kicks and punches I feel.
  • Being pregnant is like carrying a watermelon-sized secret around, except everyone already knows.
  • Pregnancy is the only time when gaining weight and having a big belly is celebrated instead of criticized.
  • Being pregnant is like wearing a “Baby on Board” sign, except you can’t take it off and people always ask if you’re having contractions.
  • Pregnancy: the only time in life when it’s acceptable to say you’re “expecting” without actually ordering anything.
  • The baby brain is real – I just put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge.
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the art gallery? Because she wanted to see all the maternity pictures.
  • Pregnancy: when counting down the days until you meet your little miracle feels like waiting in line at the DMV.
  • Pregnancy is like a never-ending science experiment where the hypothesis is that your body can stretch to unimaginable limits.
  • Pregnancy: Where your belly becomes a magnet for unsolicited advice and belly rubs from strangers.
  • Pregnancy: The only time when “I’m glowing” is a polite way of saying “I’m sweating profusely.”
  • Pregnancy is like living with a tiny dictator who controls your bladder, your appetite, and your sleep schedule.
  • The best part about being pregnant is the daily reminder that I’m not just gaining weight, I’m growing a future tax deduction.
  • Pregnancy: the only time when going from “baby bump” to “full-blown beach ball” is considered a milestone.
  • Being pregnant is like being a superhero, except you’re always too tired to fight crime.
  • Pregnancy cravings are like a game of Russian roulette, except instead of bullets, it’s pickles and ice cream.
  • Pregnancy is the perfect excuse to eat pickles and ice cream at the same time and blame it on cravings.
  • The best part about being pregnant is having an excuse to eat ice cream straight from the tub.
  • Being pregnant is like having a built-in excuse for eating an entire pizza by yourself.
  • Pregnancy is like a never-ending game of “Guess the Body Part” as you try to figure out if it’s a foot or an elbow poking you.
  • Pregnancy math: 9 months of preparing to love someone for the rest of your life, 3 months of trying to remember their name.
  • I thought pregnancy brain was a myth until my wife asked me to pick up some “baby stuff” and I came back with a puppy.
  • Being pregnant means never having to worry about finding a seat on the bus because people will gladly give up their spot for you…and your expanding belly.
  • My wife told me she wants to have a water birth, so I told her to wait until it rains.
  • The best part about being pregnant is that you’re never alone – there’s a little stowaway with you 24/7.
  • Pregnancy tip: forget the glow, invest in a good concealer for those sleep-deprived under-eye circles.
  • I accidentally signed up for a pregnancy yoga class, I guess I’ll be the one doing the “baby bumpasana.”
  • Pregnancy: nine months of being the designated driver without the fun of going to parties.
  • Pregnancy is like carrying a watermelon, except the watermelon kicks and makes you pee every five minutes.
  • Being pregnant is like going through a haunted house, except the ghosts are hormones and they never leave.
  • My wife is experiencing pregnancy cravings, but I think the only thing I’m craving is a good night’s sleep.
  • Pregnancy taught me that a 3 AM wake-up call doesn’t always mean a drunk friend needs a ride home.
  • My wife’s pregnancy cravings are so intense that she once sent me to the store at midnight for a jar of olives… and we don’t even like olives.
  • I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about pregnancy, but she said she’s already heard enough labor pains.
  • As a pregnant woman, I feel like a superhero with the amazing power of growing a human inside me and the constant need to eat ice cream.
  • Pregnancy: the only time in life when you’re excited about gaining weight.
  • My wife’s cravings during pregnancy have turned her into a human compost bin.
  • Pregnancy is like a never-ending science experiment, where your body is the lab and you’re the mad scientist.
  • Pregnancy is like a surprise party that lasts for nine months, but instead of balloons and confetti, you get swollen feet and stretch marks.
  • Pregnancy is like a marathon, except you’re not running, you’re puking.
  • During pregnancy, your body becomes a cozy studio apartment for one very active tenant.
  • My wife is so pregnant, she’s got a reserve seat at the buffet.
  • My wife told me she wanted to be pregnant, so I gave her a watermelon and told her to start practicing.
  • Pregnancy is nature’s way of preparing you for sleep deprivation without your consent.
  • Being pregnant feels like having an alien inside you, except the alien wants ice cream and pickles at 3 a.m.
  • My pregnant wife has morning sickness, but I’m the one who feels sick when I see the grocery bills for pickles and ice cream.
  • Being pregnant feels like carrying a bowling ball in your pants.
  • Pregnancy is the only time when gaining weight, having weird cravings, and being constantly tired are socially acceptable.
  • Being pregnant is like having a personal heater attached to you at all times… whether you like it or not.
  • During my wife’s pregnancy, she has become a professional in the sport of rolling out of bed and grunt-lifting herself off the couch.
  • Pregnancy: the only time it’s acceptable to say “I’m expecting” without someone replying with “expecting what?”
  • Pregnancy is the only time when it’s socially acceptable to yell, “I have to pee!” in the middle of a conversation.
  • Being pregnant means constantly feeling like you have to pee, but when you actually sit on the toilet, nothing happens.
  • Pregnancy brain: when you forget where you left your keys, your phone, and sometimes your entire train of thought.
  • Pregnancy: the only time in life when it’s perfectly acceptable to say “I’m growing a human inside me” as an excuse for everything.
  • They say pregnancy is a beautiful experience, but I’m pretty sure my wife would disagree every time she tries to tie her shoelaces.
  • Pregnancy is the only time in life where it’s acceptable to say you’re growing a human inside you and not be considered a cannibal.
  • My pregnant wife told me I should be more sympathetic, so I offered to gain weight with her. She didn’t find it as funny as I did.
  • Being pregnant is like carrying around a tiny alien who thinks my bladder is its personal trampoline.
  • Pregnancy: the only time in your life when it’s socially acceptable to unbutton your pants in public.
  • I’ve learned that pregnancy is 90% waiting for the baby to arrive and 10% trying not to pee my pants while sneezing.
  • Pregnancy is a 9-month long science experiment where the subject gets bigger every day.
  • My wife said she’s nesting, but I think she’s just trying to build a pillow fort for herself.
  • Pregnancy is the ultimate multitasking experience – growing a human while also trying not to pee your pants.
  • I’m not pregnant, I’m just exceptionally well-fed.
  • Being pregnant is like running a marathon, except you’re in the lead for nine months and you’re not allowed to stop to catch your breath.
  • Pregnancy is the only time when strangers feel entitled to touch your belly without asking, but if I touch theirs back, it’s suddenly “inappropriate.”
  • Why don’t pregnant women wear high heels? Because it’s hard to chase after a toddler in stilettos!
  • Forget about nine months, pregnancy feels like it lasts for nine years… especially during the last trimester.
  • Pregnancy cravings are nature’s way of preparing you for the inevitable midnight snack runs with a crying baby.
  • The only time it’s acceptable to eat for two is when you’re pregnant or on Thanksgiving.
  • Pregnancy cravings make no sense. One minute I want pickles and ice cream, the next minute I want to dip pizza in chocolate sauce.
  • If pregnancy brain were a superpower, I’d be the Hulk.
  • During pregnancy, the baby is the size of a grape, then an avocado, then a watermelon. It’s like a never-ending fruit salad.
  • My pregnant friend asked me if I could feel her baby kicking, so I kicked her back and said, “Now we’re even!”
  • I told my pregnant wife that her cravings for pickles and ice cream were weird, but then I remembered I married her, so I must have weird tastes too!
  • Pregnancy is the only time in life when it’s acceptable to say you’re “due” without having to pay a bill.
  • Being pregnant means wearing a seatbelt on your stomach and not being able to reach your toes – who needs them anyway?
  • During pregnancy, my wife’s cravings are like a choose-your-own-adventure book, except all the options end in pickles.
  • My wife asked me if I was ready for the responsibility of becoming a father. I said, “I’m still not ready for the responsibility of being an adult.”
  • They say you’re eating for two when you’re pregnant, but I’m pretty sure my wife is eating for a small village.
  • Pregnancy cravings are like a game of “Guess what food will make my husband go on a midnight snack run.”
  • My wife is convinced that our baby is going to be a genius because she read that Mozart’s mother listened to classical music during pregnancy. I hope our baby doesn’t expect a grand piano in the delivery room.
  • I’ve mastered the art of waddling, thanks to pregnancy.
  • Pregnancy brain is real, but at least I’ll have a legitimate excuse for forgetting my kid’s name in the future.
  • My wife says she’s eating for two, but I still can’t figure out who ordered the pickles and ice cream.
  • The miracle of pregnancy: growing a tiny human and losing the ability to see your feet simultaneously.
  • Pregnancy: the only time when being gassy is blamed on the baby instead of the beans you had for dinner.
  • Being pregnant is like being a superhero, but instead of saving the world, you’re growing a tiny human inside you.
  • Pregnancy: 9 months of feeling like a kangaroo with a secret.
  • Who needs a gym membership when you can just carry around an extra 20 pounds in your belly for nine months?
  • Being pregnant is like having a built-in excuse for everything. Forgot something? Blame it on “baby brain.”
  • I asked my pregnant wife how she’s feeling, and she said she’s having contractions. I replied, “Well, now you know how grammar feels!”
  • Pregnancy brain is nature’s way of preparing you for the sleep deprivation and forgetfulness of parenthood.
  • I’ve realized that pregnancy is just nine months of preparing to be a 24/7 milk truck driver.
  • Pregnancy is the only time it’s socially acceptable to go from “I’m craving pickles” to “I’m craving pickles dipped in ice cream.”
  • Being pregnant means never having to worry about finding a comfortable position to sleep in ever again. Because it doesn’t exist.
  • Being pregnant feels like having a personal hot water bottle with you at all times, except the water bottle is also kicking you from the inside.
  • They say pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but so is a volcano before it erupts.
  • Pregnancy is like watching a suspense movie, except the suspense is whether you’re having a boy or a girl.
  • Who needs a gym membership when you can get a full-body workout just by trying to put on your socks while pregnant?
  • My wife’s pregnancy cravings are so intense that she once sent me out to get ice cream at 2 am, and we don’t even have a baby.
  • Pregnancy is like a never-ending party where the guest of honor is constantly kicking from inside.
  • Being pregnant is like being a superhero, except instead of gaining superpowers, you gain weight and have weird cravings.
  • Pregnancy is nature’s way of giving you a crash course in bladder control and sleep deprivation.
  • During pregnancy, the saying “bun in the oven” takes on a whole new, literal meaning.
  • My pregnant sister said she wants to name her baby “May.” I told her it’s a beautiful name for a girl born in any month except June, July, August, September, October, November, or December!
  • Being pregnant is like having a personal heating system that only works in the summer.

 

Pregnancy Dad Jokes

Pregnancy dad jokes are the ultimate combination of humor and light-hearted fun, designed to bring a chuckle to both expectant parents and those around them.

They’re the kind of jokes that are so ridiculous, they’re hilarious.

These jokes are perfect for baby showers, dinner table banter, or to lighten the mood during those long, sleepless nights.

Get ready for some laughter and eye-rolling in equal measure.

Here are some pregnancy dad jokes that are sure to get a laugh:

  • Why couldn’t the bicycle find out if it was having a baby boy or girl? Because it lost its cycle!
  • Why did the pregnant lady refuse to eat seafood? She didn’t want to give her baby the scales!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a pencil and paper? Because she wanted to keep track of her contractions!
  • Why did the pregnant woman sit on an iceberg? She wanted a little chill in her life before the baby arrived!
  • Why did the pregnant woman have trouble playing cards? She always had a baby “bump” in her hand!
  • Why did the pregnant lady wear a green dress? She was expecting a little leprechaun!
  • What did the mom-to-be say to her baby bump? “I love you from my head tomatoes!”
  • Why don’t babies ever cry at night while still in the womb? Because they have a womb with a view!
  • Why are pregnant women like submarines? They both have torpedoes inside!
  • Why did the pregnant lady refuse to eat strawberries? Because she didn’t want to have a “berry” big belly!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always have her phone on silent mode? Because she didn’t want her baby to be “phone-omenal”!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who runs marathons? A running mate!
  • Why did the pregnant lady take up painting? She wanted to express her creativity while waiting for the baby’s arrival!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start eating for two? Because she wanted to have a spare rib!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn baby during a workout? “I hope you’re ready for some squats and stretches!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady have trouble with her math homework? She couldn’t count on her fingers anymore!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always wear a watch? Because she knew it was “delivery” time!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a compass? To make sure she was heading in the right direction to the maternity ward!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a math teacher? Because she knew she would always be “counting” on her students!
  • Why do pregnant women never go on vacation? Because they already have a baby in the womb!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard it was a place to get a highball!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always near a clock? Because she knew it was just a matter of time before her due date!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start reading mystery novels? She wanted to solve the case of the disappearing waistline!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always so good at math? She had a plus sign in her belly!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn child during a yoga class? “Namaste in there!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman take her laptop to the doctor? Because she heard it had a good “motherboard!”
  • Why was the math book upset when it found out it was pregnant? It had too many problems!
  • Why did the pregnant lady carry a watermelon everywhere she went? She wanted everyone to know she was pregnant “fruit”-fully!
  • Why did the pregnant lady challenge her husband to a race? She wanted to prove that she’s always ahead in the baby game!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a vegetable garden? Because she wanted to grow her own labor of love!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a garden? Because she wanted to grow a “baby’s breath” flower!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a garden? She wanted to grow a little sprout along with the baby!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn baby during her workout? “I’m doing these squats so you’ll come out with a big butt like your dad!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady avoid the bakery? Because she didn’t want a bun in the oven, she wanted a baby!
  • Did you hear about the pregnant woman who joined a music band? She said she was having treble clef cravings!
  • What did the pregnant grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little “wine”!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the gym? She wanted to work on her baby biceps!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a geologist? She wanted to study the process of giving birth to a little rockstar!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because she wanted to reach for the “labor-intensive” items on the top shelf!
  • What did the pregnant grape say to the lemon? “You’re going to be a peel!” .
  • Why did the pregnant woman carry a ladder with her? In case she wanted to reach for the pickle jar on the highest shelf!
  • Why did the pregnant woman carry a ladder everywhere? She wanted to be prepared in case she went into labor!
  • Why was the math book uncomfortable during pregnancy? It had way too many problems!
  • Why did the pregnant woman keep telling jokes? She heard it was a great way to deliver a punchline!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a dictionary to her doctor’s appointment? In case she had labor pains!
  • Why did the baby bring a ladder to the hospital? It wanted to be born on a higher level!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start watching cooking shows? Because she wanted to whip up some tasty cravings for her little bun in the oven!
  • Why did the pregnant lady carry a ladder with her everywhere? Because she heard she was expecting “a step up” in her life!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when her partner asked if she wanted to watch a scary movie? “No thanks, I already have enough jumps inside me!”
  • Why did the dad-to-be start exercising more during his wife’s pregnancy? Because he wanted to be prepared for all the “dad bod” jokes!
  • Why did the pregnant lady sit on her wallet? She wanted to give birth to a money maker!
  • Why did the dad-to-be bring a ruler to the ultrasound appointment? Because he wanted to see “how long” his baby was!
  • What did the soon-to-be dad say when his wife asked if she looked fat during pregnancy? “You’re just becoming more maternal, dear!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a flashlight? Because she wanted to deliver light!
  • Why was the math book jealous of the pregnant woman’s belly? It heard she was expecting multiples… and it could only handle equations!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the spa? She needed some womb time!
  • Why did the pregnant grapevine feel so tired? It was constantly being “vine”ished by its growing bundle of grapes!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman’s belly button? A Tootsie Roll dispenser!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a pencil and paper? She wanted to document every baby step!
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? Because it was two tired!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a watermelon to her baby shower? She wanted to “deliver” the perfect pun!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a pillow to the restaurant? She wanted to have a bump-free dining experience!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she found out she was having twins? “Well, that explains why I’ve been showing double the love for ice cream!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman always wear sunglasses? Because she wanted her baby to see the world through rose-colored glasses!
  • Why did the pregnant woman refuse to take up boxing? Because she didn’t want any punches thrown at her baby bump!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a ladder everywhere? She wanted to reach new heights in her pregnancy!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start knitting socks? She wanted to keep her feet warm and her baby “toes-ty”!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a stopwatch? She wanted to track her contractions… in labor time!
  • Why don’t babies ever smoke cigarettes? Because they come with their own “womb-eration!”
  • What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite music genre? Womb-erang!
  • Why was the pregnant lady always craving ice cream? She wanted to have a “sundae” child!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always wear a watch? Because she wanted to ensure she was “expecting” the right time!
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and realized it was pregnant with flavor!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the seafood restaurant? She wanted to have a little one shellfish!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she found out she was having twins? “Well, that’s twice the baby bump for me!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman keep a map with her at all times? Because she didn’t want to lose her way to the delivery room!
  • How does a pregnant woman know when her baby is ready to be born? It’s just a gut feeling!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a dictionary to her doctor’s appointment? She wanted to check if she was expecting a baby or a dictionary definition!
  • Why did the pregnant woman feel like she was competing in a marathon? Because she was always expecting to cross the finish line!
  • Why was the math book sad for the pregnant woman? It knew it was about to have a lot of problems!
  • Why was the math book feeling sick? It had too many improper fractions.
  • Why don’t they allow pregnant women to go to the shooting range? Because they might have a little recoil of their own!
  • Why did the pregnant woman refuse to play cards with her friends? Because she didn’t want her baby to be exposed to “womb-le” behavior!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the baseball game? Because she heard it was a great way to induce labor – lots of strikes and foul balls!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who can predict the future? A womb clairvoyant!
  • Why did the pregnant lady refuse to play cards? She didn’t want to deliver any clubs or spades!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a measuring tape? Because she wanted to make sure she was “expecting” the right size baby!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a baker? She had a bun in the oven and needed a new career “dough”!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the art gallery? Because she heard there was a great conception there!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the seafood buffet? Because she wanted a little “roe” call!
  • Did you hear about the pregnant woman who couldn’t stop singing? She had a case of the mom-tones!
  • Why was the pregnant lady always so sleepy during her pregnancy? Because she was busy growing a future nap champion!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a pillow to the seafood restaurant? She wanted a little extra sole support!
  • I asked my pregnant wife if she could pick up some ice cream on her way home. She replied, “How about a cone-ditional promise?”
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a band? Because she loved being the lead singer and feeling the baby kicks drumming in her belly!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the maternity store? She wanted to carry on with her shopping!
  • Why did the pregnant lady avoid the seafood buffet? Because she didn’t want to give birth to a little fishy!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a gardening club? She wanted to show off her baby bump, along with her bumpin’ garden!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the art museum? She wanted to appreciate some “womb” with a view!
  • Why did the scarecrow blush when he saw the pregnant lady? Because he heard she was outstanding in her field!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the bakery? She kneaded a little something to satisfy her bun in the oven!
  • Why did the pregnant woman keep telling jokes? She wanted to give her baby a sense of womb-or!
  • Why did the pregnant lady win an award at the science fair? She had the best experiment: growing a human being!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a band? She heard it was a great way to deliver a performance!
  • Why don’t eggs like telling jokes during pregnancy? They might crack up the mom-to-be!
  • What did the expectant father say when his wife asked him if she looked big in her maternity dress? “You’re positively glowing, my love!”
  • Why did the dad-to-be start a gardening hobby during his wife’s pregnancy? Because he wanted to “nurture” his green thumb along with the baby!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman’s favorite type of math? Addition, because she’s always counting down!
  • Why was the math book so sad when it found out it was pregnant? It knew it would have to deal with a lot of word problems!
  • What did the grape say to the pregnant woman? “Don’t worry, I’ll always be here to raisin your spirits!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady insist on eating a clock? She wanted to have a “baby in no time”!
  • Why did the pregnant woman watch comedies all the time? She wanted her baby to be born with a sense of “womb”or!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who becomes a detective? A private-eye-nant!
  • Why did the pregnant woman avoid the orchestra concert? She didn’t want the baby to come out singing “Womb Symphony No. 9”!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the baby shower? She heard the drinks would be on the house!
  • Did you hear about the pregnant bed? It had a spring in its step!
  • Why did the pregnant woman refuse to play cards? Because she was afraid she would give birth to a royal flush!
  • What did the baby say to the pregnant mom? Are you my mother?
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a band? Because she already had a bump to play the drums!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to her doctor’s appointment? She heard she was expecting a little “step” in her life!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn child at the spa? “I need a maternity massage, baby!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman carry a weightlifting belt? She wanted to be prepared for the labor!
  • What did the baby say to the ultrasound technician? “I can see myself becoming famous in here!”
  • Why was the pregnant lady always happy? Because she had a bun in the oven!
  • I was going to make a joke about pregnancy, but I’m afraid it might labor too long.
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a band? Because she wanted to give birth to a little drummer!
  • Why did the pregnant woman love taking walks? Because she wanted to give her baby a good running start!
  • Why did the pregnant woman have a great sense of humor? She was always delivering punchlines!
  • Why did the pregnant woman become a stand-up comedian? Because she was great at delivering punchlines!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who loves to garden? A “mom-to-be” with a green thumb!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start eating for two? She heard it was a bun-dle of joy!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always singing to her belly? Because she wanted her baby to be a “hum-a-nymph!”
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who looks great? Expecting compliments!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a watermelon to the doctor’s appointment? She wanted to show them how she’s growing her own fruit bowl!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she saw her unborn baby on the ultrasound? “I can’t wait to meet my little ‘Ctrl+C’ and ‘Ctrl+V’!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman become a math teacher? Because she loved counting down the days until her due date!
  • Why did the baby wear sunglasses in the womb? It wanted to see if the future was bright!
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing…and the pregnancy test!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a pen and paper? In case she had contractions!
  • Why did the pregnant woman refuse to play cards with the kangaroos? She didn’t want to risk having a joey-pot!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a baking blog? Because she wanted to share her bun in the oven recipes!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always laughing? She found the baby’s kicks hilarious!
  • Did you hear about the pregnant woman who went into labor while driving? She gave birth to a car seat!
  • Why did the pregnant woman carry a tuning fork? Because she wanted to sing to her baby and give it a good pitch!
  • Why was the pregnant computer so excited? It was expecting a byte-sized addition to the family!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she found out she was having twins? “Well, that’s just twice as nice!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman wear a whistle around her neck? So she could “wombinate” in case of emergency!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a yoga class? Because she wanted to give her baby some womb for improvement!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a spoon to her doctor’s appointment? In case she needed a little “baby food” advice!
  • Why did the baby sit down for a chat with the doctor? It wanted to be delivered in person!
  • Why don’t pregnant women go to a party? Because they already have a little shindig going on inside them!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the baseball game? Because she heard it was a great place to catch a pitcher!
  • Why was the pregnant math teacher always glowing? She had a little sum-thing special on the way!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start wearing a stopwatch around her neck? She wanted to keep track of her contractions on time!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who loves to eat ice cream? A sundae driver!
  • I asked my pregnant wife if she was having a boy or a girl. She replied, “I’m not sure, but I’m definitely having a baby!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman become a comedian? She wanted to give birth to a lot of laughs!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a ladder everywhere? She wanted to be prepared for when her water broke!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always feel like a cheetah? Because she had morning leopards!
  • What did the pregnant grape say to her partner? “We’re about to become a family bunch!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the bakery? She kneaded a break from morning sickness!

 

Pregnancy Jokes for Kids

Pregnancy jokes for kids are the amusing teddy bears of the jest universe—innocent, joyful, and a surefire hit with the little ones.

These jokes invite youngsters to explore the concept of pregnancy in a light-hearted, age-appropriate way, nurturing an early appreciation for humor and the nuances of language.

Moreover, pregnancy jokes for kids provide a fun method of introducing the idea of where babies come from, transforming a potentially complicated topic into a chance for giggles and bonding.

Ready to chuckle about storks, baby bumps, and pickles with ice cream?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them laughing all the way to the baby shower.

  • What did the pregnant cheerleader say? “Gimme an ‘E’, gimme an ‘X’, gimme a ‘P’, gimme an ‘E’, gimme a ‘C’, gimme a ‘T’, gimme an ‘I’, gimme an ‘N’, gimme a ‘G’, what does it spell? Expecting!”
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
  • Why did the baby go to jail? Because it was being a little stinker!
  • Why did the pregnant woman carry a ladder? Because she heard she needed to deliver a baby step by step!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • How does a pregnant woman like her steak cooked? A little bit of mooing!
  • How do you know when a pregnant woman is having a bad day? She can’t even “labor” a smile!
  • How does a pregnant woman know she’s going to have a future artist? She has paint “brushes” in her belly!
  • What do you call a baby that is not yet born? A little womb-mate!
  • What did the pregnant grape say to its friend? “I’m going to “vine” and dine for two!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady wear stripes? Because she thought it was zebra print and wanted to show off her baby bump!
  • Why was the pregnant lady always on time? Because her baby had a good sense of delivery!
  • What did the pregnant tomato say to the baby tomato? “Ketchup with me if you can!”
  • What do you call a pregnant cow? Moo-ther-to-be!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s also a magician? A presto-prego!
  • What did the pregnant grape say to the other grapes? “I’m going to be raisin a baby soon!”
  • What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
  • Why did the baby skeleton go to the maternity ward? Because it was time to meet its mummy!
  • Why did the pregnant lady order a pizza with pickles and ice cream? Because she had unusual cravings!
  • What did the pregnant dog say to her puppies? I hope you’re all pawsitive!
  • Why did the pregnant lady invite a clown to her baby shower? She wanted a belly full of laughs!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a pencil? In case she wanted to draw a little belly button on her belly!
  • What did the pregnant math teacher say to her students? “I’m expecting a little addition to the class soon!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a camera to her doctor’s appointment? She wanted to capture every baby moment!
  • What did the pregnant vegetable say to the expectant fruit? “We’re going to have a baby salad!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the baseball game? She heard she might catch a fly ball!
  • Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems! Just like a pregnant lady!
  • What did the pregnant cow say to the bull? “This is an udder disaster!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the baseball game? Because she wanted to have a grand slam delivery!
  • How does a pregnant woman know she’s having a future musician? She starts feeling contraband!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start talking to her baby in pig Latin? She wanted to have a secret oink with her little one!
  • What did the baby say to the expecting mother? “You crack me up, Mommy!”
  • Why did the baby bring a ladder to the barbeque? Because it wanted to see what was “cooking”!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the movie theater? She wanted to see a baby bump!
  • What’s a pregnant cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple!
  • What do you call a pregnant dinosaur? A prehistoric mom-to-be!
  • What did the pregnant cow say to her calf? “I’m moo-ving for two!”
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  • What do you call a pregnant computer? A motherboard!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always have a positive attitude? Because she knew she was expecting a bundle of joy!
  • What did the doctor say to the pregnant lady who was craving pickles and ice cream? “Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal to have a dill-icious combination!”
  • What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb!
  • Why did the pregnant woman eat ice cream in a hurry? She wanted to have a “sundae” before the baby arrives!
  • Why did the pregnant cow go to the music concert? She wanted to see the baby band!
  • What did the pregnant lady say to her baby bump? “I can’t wait to meet you, but could you please stop kicking my bladder?”
  • What did the baby say to the pregnant belly button? I’m coming out soon, can you keep it a secret?
  • Why did the baby in the womb bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to go in-utero!
  • Why did the pregnant lady carry a map everywhere? She was expecting to go into labor any day now!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always wear two pairs of pants? In case she had twins!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she saw a stork? “I hope it’s not delivering twins!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady put her money in the freezer? She wanted some “cold cash” for the baby!
  • What did the pregnant pickle say to the baby cucumber? “You’re going to go through a very jarring experience!”
  • What do you call a pregnant goldfish? A mom-to-be-gill!
  • Why did the pregnant woman sit near the fan? She wanted to have a breeze-y delivery!
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  • What did the pregnant cow say to her calf? “I can’t wait to “moo-ve” you out of here!”
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  • Why did the tomato turn red when it saw a pregnant lady? It had “heirloom” pregnancy cravings!
  • What did the pregnant cow say to her baby? “I love you deer-ly!”
  • What do you call a baby who tells jokes? A silly-belly!
  • What did the pregnant flower say to the bee? “Bee-hive got a baby on the way!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the art gallery? Because she wanted her baby to be well-cultured!
  • Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she saw her ultrasound? “That’s the cutest bean I’ve ever seen!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady always wear sunglasses? She wanted to keep her baby bump out of the spotlight!
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a watermelon to the doctor’s office? Because she wanted to show off her “baby bump”!
  • What did the pregnant math teacher say to her students? “I’m expecting a lot of numbers in the coming months!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a stopwatch? She liked to track her contractions – she was really into labor statistics!
  • What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? “Where’s pop corn?”
  • How did the baby communicate with the pregnant lady? Through belly texts!
  • What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  • Why was the math book so excited? Because it had a lot of problems to solve!
  • What do you call a pregnant frog? A mother-toad!
  • How does a pregnant woman open a bottle? With labor and delivery!
  • What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  • What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
  • Why did the baby start singing in the womb? Because it wanted to make some “uterus-ic” music!
  • Why did the pregnant lady take a nap in the library? Because she heard her baby was due in a few chapters!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start eating pickles with ice cream? She wanted to keep her baby well-pickled!
  • What do you call a dinosaur that is pregnant? A “Megasaurus”!
  • Why was the math book worried about the pregnant lady? It heard she was expecting an addition to the family!
  • What did the pregnant lady say to her unborn baby? “I’m expecting a great delivery from you!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman take up knitting? She wanted to give the baby a “womb-made” sweater!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a ladder? In case she wanted to reach for the stars with her baby bump!
  • Why did the pregnant lady wear a superhero costume? Because she’s about to become a “supermom”!
  • Why did the baby sit on the clock? Because it wanted to be “on time” for its due date!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she found out she was having twins? “I guess I’m just having twice the fun!”
  • Why was the pregnant lady so good at multitasking? She could grow a human while shopping for baby clothes!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because she wanted to get the pickles from the top shelf!
  • What did the dad say when he found out they were having twins? “Wow, that’s twice the fun!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady watch a lot of comedy shows? She wanted to keep her baby in stitches!
  • What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a dictionary? Because she wanted to give birth to a little wordsmith!
  • What do you call a pregnant dog? A “hot dog” with puppies on the way!
  • Why did the pregnant lady keep changing her mind about what to name her baby? She couldn’t make up her womb!
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a ladder? Because she heard she was expecting a little rung on the way!
  • What do you call a pregnant teacher? Expecting an A+!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a band? Because she wanted to sing lullabies to her baby bump!
  • How do you know when a pregnant woman is expecting a girl? She carries a baby purse!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she won the lottery? “I guess my luck is multiplying!”
  • What did the pregnant ghost say to her baby? “I’m just dying to meet you!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a bottle of hot sauce? She wanted to have a spicy delivery!
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a detective? She had a bun in the oven and wanted to solve the mystery of cravings!
  • Why was the pregnant cat always grouchy? She was going through a “meowternity” period!
  • Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his mom was in a jam!
  • Why did the pregnant lady keep a watermelon next to her belly? She wanted her baby to have a fruity womb-mate!
  • Why did the pregnant lady sit on an ice cream? Because she wanted to have a sundae baby!
  • Why did the pregnant lady take a nap on the calendar? Because she was expecting a “due date”!
  • How does a pregnant lady like her eggs? With morning sickness!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the concert? She wanted to be in the front row, even with her belly bump!
  • How did the pregnant lady decorate her nursery? She hired a stork to deliver all the decorations!
  • What did the baby say to the pregnant lady’s belly button? “Are you my new crib?”
  • What do you call a baby before it’s born? Inn-fant!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who loves to tell jokes? A funny-bone mommy!
  • Why did the baby go to work with its pregnant mom? It wanted to be delivered to the office!
  • What did the baby in the womb say to its mom? “I’m having a blast in here!”
  • Why did the mommy tomato turn red? Because she saw the baby tomato “ketchup”!
  • Why was the math book excited about the pregnancy? It couldn’t wait to start multiplying!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a detective? Because she wanted to solve the mystery of whether it’s a boy or a girl!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the library? She wanted to check out some belly books!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the art museum? Because she wanted to see some “womb-derful” masterpieces!
  • Why did the baby sit on the clock during pregnancy? Because it wanted to be born in the nick of time!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she saw her baby for the first time? “I’m positive, this little one is mine!”
  • How did the pregnant woman know her baby would be a comedian? She felt it kicking up a storm of laughter!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a pillow to the movie theater? She wanted to have a comfortable seat for her little bump!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry an umbrella? Because there was a 100% chance of baby showers!
  • How does a pregnant woman know she will have a future artist? She has contractions every time she sees a masterpiece!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always have a watch on her belly? Because she wanted to have a baby in the nick of time!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always wear a watch? She was in the final trimester!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the baseball game? Because she heard there would be a lot of pitching and catching!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always win at poker? Because she had a baby in her hand!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the seafood restaurant? Because she wanted some little fishy babies!
  • How did the pregnant woman win the marathon? She was running for two!
  • Why did the baby go to jail? Because it was caught cribbing!

 

Pregnancy Jokes for Adults

Who says becoming a parent can’t come with a side of humor?

Pregnancy jokes for adults are a playful way to navigate the roller-coaster ride of impending parenthood, employing sly wit and a dash of spicy humor.

These jokes blend the realities of pregnancy with a sprinkle of adult humor, serving up hearty laughs that are just as fulfilling as those late-night pregnancy cravings.

These jokes are excellent for baby showers, family gatherings, or simply to lighten the mood in between discussing diaper brands and baby names.

Here are some pregnancy jokes that are perfect for adults:

  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the seafood restaurant? She was craving a little something from the “roe” menu!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a pen and paper? She had to document all her contractions!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a fight with her husband? She wanted to experience a “labor” of love!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always winning at poker? She had the best “pair” of aces!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who has eaten too much ice cream? A mama sundae in the making!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a chef? She loved experimenting with different “cravings” and unique food combinations!
  • What did the pregnant mathematician say to her unborn child? “I hope you’re not a square, baby!”
  • Why don’t pregnant women go to the orchestra? Because they already have their own little conductor inside!
  • Why don’t skeletons like being pregnant? They can’t handle the baby bump!
  • Why did the scarecrow go on maternity leave? It was expecting a little corn!
  • Why did the pregnant woman become a detective? She always had a hunch!
  • Why don’t pregnant women wear high heels? Because it’s hard to run with a bun in the oven!
  • What did the baby say to the pregnant belly? “Can’t wait to meet you, Mom!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady refuse to watch action movies? She was afraid the intense scenes would give her baby “kicks”!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn baby? “I can’t wait to meet you, but please don’t come out feet first, it’s a cervix warning!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a dictionary? She wanted to find the definition of “gestation” at any given moment!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when asked about her baby’s gender? “I’m keeping it a labor-intensive secret!”
  • Why don’t pregnant women ever go on amusement park rides? They prefer to avoid any labor pains!
  • Why did the pregnant lady refuse to play cards? She didn’t want to be dealt any “baby bump”!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the comedy show? She wanted to laugh so hard that her baby would come out with a sense of humor!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a dictionary to the delivery room? She wanted to define her labor experience!
  • Why did the pregnant woman become a detective? She had a knack for solving labor disputes!
  • Why do pregnant women always carry a pencil? In case they have a sudden craving for a bun in the oven!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her husband when her water broke? “I guess it’s time for a home improvement project!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a bakery? She wanted to prove that making buns in the oven wasn’t just a metaphor!
  • Why did the pregnant woman visit the orchard so often? She had a growing apple in her belly!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start knitting tiny socks? She wanted to get her baby off on the right foot!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a pillow to the seafood restaurant? She heard they had a lot of “roe” seating!
  • Why did the pregnant woman wear a red shirt? She wanted to match her bun in the oven!
  • What did the pregnant tomato say to the baby tomato? “Ketchup, we’re going to have a saucy time soon!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a stopwatch? She wanted to time her contractions with precision, just like a professional athlete!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a ruler? She wanted to measure how long she had left until the due date!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who dances? A disco ballerina!
  • Why did the pregnant lady join a circus? She wanted to show off her ability to juggle cravings, mood swings, and baby kicks!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she found out she was having twins? “I can’t believe I’m having a wombmate!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman take a nap on the highway? She heard it was a rest stop!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a gardening business? She wanted to deliver “baby” carrots!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become an expert in karate? She wanted to have a kick-ass delivery!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn child during a job interview? “Don’t worry, I’ve got a bump in the road but I’m still moving forward!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a stand-up comedian? She loved delivering punchlines!
  • Why don’t pregnant women wear high heels? Because it’s hard to find heels that will fit over swollen ankles!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a pillow? Because she wanted to have a little down time everywhere she went!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a band? She wanted to give birth to some rock ‘n’ roll!
  • How does a pregnant woman know she’s going to give birth to a future comedian? She feels a lot of contractions… of laughter!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her partner when she couldn’t find her maternity pants? “I guess I’m just going to have to improvise a maternity skirt!”
  • Why was the pregnant woman always so cheerful? She believed that every day was a “baby” shower!
  • Why do pregnant women never trust stairs? Because they’re always giving birth to step children!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a circus? She wanted to learn some labor tricks!
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go on a babymoon? They prefer to keep the baby under wraps!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the party? She wanted to show everyone she was expecting a little one!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the bakery every day? She kneaded some extra buns in the oven!
  • Why don’t eggs tell jokes at parties? Because they might crack up the expectant moms!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the grocery store? She wanted to reach for the highest shelf to satisfy her pregnancy cravings!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the art museum? She heard there was a Van Gogh in the maternity ward!
  • Why did the pregnant woman invest in a bakery? She had a bun in the oven and wanted to make some extra dough!
  • Why did the pregnant computer break down? It had a motherboard!
  • Why do pregnant women always win at poker? They always have a full house!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s also a magician? A lady who can make a baby disappear!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start talking to her belly button? She thought it was the best way to have a belly laugh!
  • Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the pregnant woman? It was just a little saucy!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join the circus? She wanted to learn how to juggle all the cravings and mood swings!
  • Why did the pregnant woman climb the mountain? Because it was there, and she couldn’t see her feet anyway!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a rope? In case she needed to tie her stomach in a knot to keep her baby secure!
  • Why do pregnant women never go on strike? Because they always carry a placard!
  • Why was the pregnant woman always so tired? She had to carry a “bun in the oven” everywhere she went!
  • Why did the pregnant lady wear earplugs to her prenatal appointment? She didn’t want to hear any contractions!
  • Why did the pregnant woman hire a comedian to entertain her during labor? She wanted to have a “laughing delivery”!
  • Why did the pregnant woman avoid the coffee shop? She didn’t want to give birth to a “latte” of problems!
  • Why did the pregnant woman become a detective? She wanted to solve the mystery of who ate all the ice cream in the freezer!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a yoga class? She wanted to give her baby a flexible start in life!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a yoga class? She wanted to practice “womb” yoga for a smooth delivery!
  • Why did the pregnant woman refuse to name her baby after a fruit? She didn’t want to have a “melon” in her family tree!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a flashlight? Because she wanted to deliver in the spotlight!
  • What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite type of weather? Con-tractions!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start knitting? She wanted to prepare for the labor of love!
  • Why do pregnant women never go on vacation? They already have a little getaway inside!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the art museum? She wanted to see the motherhood exhibit and get some labor inspiration!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the seafood restaurant? She was craving some well-delivered fish!
  • Why don’t babies ever get caught committing crimes? They have little fingerprints!
  • What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn baby? “I’ll love you from the womb to the moon and back!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady get a job at the pizza place? She loved having a “delivery” job!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start wearing a watch? She wanted to keep an “eye” on her due date!
  • Why did the pregnant lady visit the bakery every day? She had a “bun in the oven” craving!
  • What did the pregnant lady say to her partner when he asked if they were ready for parenthood? “We better be, we’ve got a bun in the oven!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman keep a watermelon under her shirt? Because she wanted to see if her baby had a melon-ball belly!
  • Why was the math book nervous about becoming a parent? It was afraid of multiplying!
  • Why are pregnant women great comedians? They have a lot of delivery!
  • Why did the pregnant woman enroll in a comedy class? She wanted to master the art of delivering a punchline and a baby!
  • Why did the pregnant lady refuse to watch horror movies? She didn’t want her baby to come out with delivery anxiety!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a band? She wanted to play the baby grand piano!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a ruler? She wanted to measure the baby bump’s progress inch by inch!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always carry a spice rack with her? She wanted to spice up her cravings!
  • Why did the pregnant woman eat a clock? She wanted to have a baby in the nick of time!
  • Why did the pregnant woman carry a ladder everywhere? She wanted to reach for the stars and her cravings at the same time!
  • Why was the pregnant woman so good at karate? She had a kick-start on her baby’s birth!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a yoga class? She wanted to prepare for all the labor positions!
  • Why did the pregnant woman take a cooking class? She wanted to learn how to make a bun in the oven properly!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a bakery? She wanted to make bun in the oven jokes all day!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the art museum? She heard they had a great exhibit on contractions!
  • Why did the pregnant lady take a trip to the bakery every day? She had a bun in the oven, but she couldn’t resist the temptation of pastries!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a pencil behind her ear? In case she had a sudden craving for a “bun in the oven!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman name her unborn child “Inflation”? Because she knew it would soon be due!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when she found out she was having twins? “Oh baby, I’m in double trouble now!”
  • Why did the pregnant lady become an athlete? She wanted to win the “baby bump” competition!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the music store? She wanted to buy a mini-van Gogh!
  • What do you call a pregnant dog? A hot dog bun in the oven!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start wearing a clock around her neck? Because it was “time” to start counting down!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start a gardening club? She wanted to grow a little sprout of her own!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a ladder? Because she heard she was going to deliver a high-rise!
  • Why was the pregnant lady’s favorite book about antonyms? She loved the idea of expecting the unexpected!
  • Why did the pregnant woman feel like a superhero? Because she had the incredible ability to grow a human inside her!
  • Why did the pregnant woman take up gardening? She wanted to give birth to a plant-based diet!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a watermelon everywhere she went? She wanted to practice for when the baby arrives!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the seafood restaurant? She heard they had a great baby back ribs!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the maternity ward? She wanted to deliver a “high-rise” baby!
  • Why did the pregnant lady refuse to play cards? She didn’t want to deal with any unexpected deliveries!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a pillow to the restaurant? She wanted to make sure she had a bun in the oven and a cushion in her chair!
  • Why did the pregnant woman wear a backpack? She wanted to carry a little extra!
  • Why did the pregnant woman become a math teacher? She loved multiplying by one!
  • Why did the pregnant lady keep a mirror in her purse? So she could always see her “baby bump” reflection!
  • Why did the pregnant lady turn down a job at the bakery? She didn’t want to give birth to a “bun in the oven”!
  • What did one pregnant woman say to the other? “I’m hoping for a baby, but my husband is hoping for a refund!”
  • Why do pregnant women always carry a camera? Because they want to capture the bump in time!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s addicted to Twitter? A baby blogger!
  • Why did the pregnant woman love eating at the beach? She craved a little sand in her stomach!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s having twins? A multitasker in training!
  • Why do pregnant women always carry a camera? So they can “capture” the moment of delivery!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman with a sense of humor? Laughing for two!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the comedy club? She wanted her baby to have a good sense of “womb-er”!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a gardening class? She wanted to learn how to deliver roots and shoots!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go on a shopping spree? She wanted to give birth to a “delivery” room!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a ladder? In case she wanted to give birth to a high-born baby!
  • Why don’t you ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears, and the peas are in the pod!
  • What did the pregnant lady say when her partner asked if they were having a boy or a girl? “We’ll know soon, it’s just a bun in the oven for now!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a math class? She wanted to calculate the due date!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who can rap? Pregnant Notorious B.I.G.!
  • Why did the pregnant lady go to the art gallery? She wanted to see the “conception” of a masterpiece!
  • Why did the pregnant lady always win at poker? She had the best poker face – thanks to her baby bump!
  • Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the delivery room? She wanted to give birth to a little step-stool!
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a tape measure to her doctor’s appointment? She wanted to make sure she was “expecting” the right amount of growth!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to art class? She wanted to learn how to give birth to a masterpiece!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman craving ice cream and pickles at the same time? A walking stereotype!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always carry a ladder? So she could reach new heights with her baby bump!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start eating more seafood? She wanted to have a little “shrimp” in her life!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start knitting tiny hats for her unborn baby? She wanted to keep them ahead of the fashion curve even before birth!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start knitting a sweater for her baby in the middle of summer? She wanted to make sure it was a warm delivery!
  • Why did the pregnant woman start a band? Because she wanted to make a belly-rubbing music!
  • Why did the pregnant lady wear a potato sack dress? She wanted to show off her baby bump and her love for carbs!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who’s also a math genius? An expecting mother with a multiplying belly!
  • Why did the pregnant woman join a comedy club? She wanted to give the best “labor” of her jokes!
  • Why did the pregnant computer keep running? It had a motherboard on the way!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a race car driver? She enjoyed the thrill of the contractions!
  • Why did the pregnant woman always win at poker? She had a great poker face and a full house!
  • Why was the pregnant woman upset with her husband’s joke about cravings? She said, “Honey, it’s not a laughing matter!”
  • Why do pregnant women never trust stairs? Because they believe they’re always up to something!
  • Why did the pregnant woman become an expert in aromatherapy? She needed to sniff out all the strange food cravings!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who wants to be a rapper? A mumble crumble!
  • Why don’t pregnant women like surprises? They’ve already had enough unexpected kicks!
  • What do you call it when a pregnant woman dances? A baby boogie!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become an astronaut? She wanted to experience a gravity-free pregnancy!
  • Why did the pregnant lady start taking karate lessons? She wanted her baby to be well-versed in kicking right from the start!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman who can juggle? A multitasking mother-to-be!
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go through pregnancy? They don’t have the guts for it!
  • How did the pregnant woman announce her pregnancy to her friends? She said, “I’ve got a bun in the oven, and it’s not for dinner!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because she heard they had great expectations for their high shelves!
  • What do you call a pregnant woman’s selfie? An “ultrasound”!
  • Why did the pregnant lady avoid going to a seafood restaurant? She didn’t want her baby to come out as a little shrimp!
  • Why do pregnant women make great detectives? They always have a “bun in the oven” to interrogate!
  • Why did the pregnant woman take a nap on the lettuce? Because she wanted to have a salad with a little dressing!
  • Why did the pregnant lady become a detective? She was great at solving baby mysteries!
  • What did the pregnant woman say when she found out she was expecting twins? “Well, that’s a womb with a view!”
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the baseball game? She heard they had great delivery!
  • Why did the pregnant woman go to the art gallery? She heard she was carrying a masterpiece!

 

Pregnancy Joke Generator

Navigating humor during pregnancy can sometimes feel like walking on eggshells.

(You get the point, right?)

This is where our FREE Pregnancy Joke Generator comes to the rescue.

Crafted to mix gentle humor, puns, and wit in a mindful manner, it generates jokes that are sure to lighten the mood.

Don’t let your humor cravings go unsatisfied during this special time.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as joyous and uplifting as your journey to motherhood.

 

FAQs About Pregnancy Jokes

Why are pregnancy jokes so popular?

Pregnancy jokes are popular as they make light of the common experiences and challenges that come with pregnancy, such as cravings, morning sickness, and mood swings.

They can be a humorous way for expecting mothers and those around them to relate to the rollercoaster of pregnancy.

 

Can pregnancy jokes help in social situations?

Absolutely!

Pregnancy jokes can be a fun way to break the ice at a baby shower, add humor to a pregnancy announcement, or simply share a laugh with friends or family about the joys and challenges of pregnancy.

Just ensure your joke is sensitive and respectful to the situation and people involved.

 

How can I come up with my own pregnancy jokes?

  1. Consider common pregnancy experiences, such as food cravings, frequent bathroom trips, or mood swings.
  2. Think about the unique vocabulary related to pregnancy (e.g., trimester, due date, baby bump).
  3. Consider the context of your joke. Are you at a baby shower, a family gathering, or just having a chat with an expecting friend?
  4. Play with well-known sayings or phrases, but twist them to fit pregnancy situations.
  5. Don’t be afraid to use puns and wordplay. Pregnancy provides plenty of opportunities for light-hearted humor.

 

Are there any tips for remembering pregnancy jokes?

Associate pregnancy jokes with situations they would be suitable for, like baby showers, family gatherings, or casual conversations with expecting parents.

This can make it easier to remember them when the opportunity arises.

 

How can I make my pregnancy jokes better?

Pregnancy jokes can be made better by finding relatable elements, using the element of surprise, and playing with words.

Remember, the best jokes are those that can be shared and enjoyed by everyone, so ensure your humor is respectful and inclusive.

 

How does the Pregnancy Joke Generator work?

Our Pregnancy Joke Generator is an easy tool to create fun, light-hearted pregnancy jokes.

Simply enter keywords related to your situation or the pregnancy experience you want to joke about, and press the Generate Jokes button.

In no time, you’ll have a series of hilarious pregnancy jokes ready to share.

 

Is the Pregnancy Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Pregnancy Joke Generator is completely free to use!

Generate as many jokes as you’d like and keep the laughter going throughout the wonderful journey of pregnancy.

 

Conclusion

Pregnancy jokes are a wonderful way to add a bit of humor to everyday conversations, making the journey to parenthood a tad more enjoyable with each giggle.

From the quick and witty to the long and belly-laugh-inducing, there’s a pregnancy joke for every stage and situation.

So next time you’re thinking about the ups and downs of pregnancy, remember, there’s humor to be found in every kick, craving, and contraction.

Keep sharing the laughs, and let the joy and jest fill the air.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without the anticipation of a new life—unimaginable and, frankly, a bit less thrilling.

Happy joking, everyone!

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