540 Quarterback Jokes That Huddle Up for a Hearty Laugh

If you’ve landed here, you’re ready to tackle the field of quarterback jokes.

These aren’t just any jokes, they’re the MVPs of humor.

That’s why we’ve huddled up a collection of the most hilarious quarterback jokes.

From first-down puns to end-zone one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every play of the game.

So, let’s dive into the end zone of quarterback comedy, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Quarterback Jokes

Quarterback jokes are a touchdown when it comes to humor, guaranteed to make any football fan giggle.

These jokes aren’t just about the position itself, but also the entire culture and action surrounding it.

From the intense pressure of being the team leader to the constant strategizing required, quarterbacks offer an interesting scenario for some good-natured ribbing.

Creating a great quarterback joke involves a clever spin on words, a surprising twist, and sometimes, the unpredictable nature of football games.

It’s all about messing with expectations and adding a humorous twist to the reality of the game.

Ready to tackle some laughter?

Snap into fun with these quarterback jokes:

Why don’t quarterbacks ever go to casinos? Because they always fold under pressure!
Why did the quarterback wear two jerseys? In case one got sacked!
Why did the quarterback sit in the pantry? Because he wanted to be a cupboard-back!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of footwear? “Air” Jordans!
What did the quarterback say to the football field when it was time to play? “Let’s tackle this together!”
What did the quarterback say to the pizza delivery guy? I always deliver under pressure too!
Why did the quarterback take an umbrella to the game? In case it started raining touchdowns!
Why don’t quarterbacks go fishing? Because they can’t pass the tackle!
Why was the quarterback such a bad comedian? Because he couldn’t stop throwing interceptions!
Why did the quarterback sit on the clock? He wanted to be a second-string player!
What do you call a quarterback who becomes an artist? Vincent Van Throw!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To find a good receiver for his paycheck.
What did the quarterback do when he couldn’t decide which play to call? He tossed a coin and said, “Heads, I pass; tails, I run!”
What did the quarterback say to the football when they won the game? “Thanks for “pass”-ing me the victory!”
Why don’t quarterbacks eat seafood? Because they don’t like to be picked off!
Why did the quarterback go broke? Because he couldn’t make any cents!
Why don’t quarterbacks ever get hungry during games? Because they always have a pocket full of chips!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t make up his mind? A quarterback sneak-peek!
Why was the quarterback always cold during the game? Because he always had the “chills” in the pocket!
Why did the quarterback bring a pillow to the game? Because he wanted to take a nap while his defense was on the field!
What did the quarterback say to the football when it asked for directions? “Just go long and I’ll find you!”
Why did the quarterback bring a raincoat to the game? In case of a heavy blitz!
Why did the quarterback bring his dog to the game? Because he wanted to play fetch with the long snapper!
What do you call a quarterback who can throw a football over a mountain? A strong arm-chitect!
Why did the quarterback bring a math book to the game? Because he wanted to improve his counting skills – one, two, three… hut!
What did the quarterback say to his receiver who kept dropping the ball? “I can’t keep throwing you a lifeline!”
What do you call a quarterback’s magic trick? A Hail Mary-go-round!
Why did the quarterback go to school for engineering? Because he wanted to learn how to throw the perfect spiral!
Why do quarterbacks always make bad comedians? Because they can’t seem to throw any good punchlines!
What do you get when you cross a quarterback with a magician? A “pass”-tastic trick play!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t make a decision? A “huddle” of trouble!
Why did the quarterback bring a pencil to the game? In case he needed to draw up some plays on the sidelines!
What do you call a quarterback who gets hit by a snowball? A “flurry” passer!
Why did the quarterback become a chef? Because he always knew how to throw a perfect spiral ham!
What do you call a quarterback who becomes a chef? A touch-down-to-earth cook!
What do you call a quarterback’s favorite snack? A “touchdown” brownie!
Why don’t quarterbacks like playing hide-and-seek? Because they always get sacked before they can find a hiding spot!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many “X”s, but no “TD”s.
Why was the quarterback always a fan of math class? Because he loved throwing long passes!
What did the coach say to the quarterback who kept throwing interceptions? “You’re really making a pick-mentalist out of me!”
What did the quarterback say when he found out he couldn’t play football anymore? “I guess I’ll just have to tackle my next career!”
Why did the football team go to the bakery after the game? To get a slice of the quarterback!
What did the quarterback say to the football when it apologized? “No worries, we’ll make a pass at it!”
Why did the quarterback bring a suitcase to the game? Because he heard he needed to pack some passes!
Why don’t quarterbacks use phones? Because they prefer to call the shots!
Why did the scarecrow become a quarterback? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a quarterback who can’t remember anything? An incomplete pass!
Why did the quarterback become a doctor? He wanted to specialize in quarterback-surgery!
What did the quarterback say to the football after it kept missing the receiver? “You need to catch up!”
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To improve his passing skills – he wanted to learn how to throw money!
Why was the quarterback always the life of the party? Because he knew how to throw a good pass!
What did the quarterback say when he found out he won the lottery? “I’m going long for a vacation!”
Why did the quarterback always carry a map? Because he wanted to make sure he threw the perfect “pass”port!
Why did the quarterback bring a dictionary to the game? Because he wanted to look up how to “pass” with flying colors!
Why did the quarterback bring a flashlight to the game? In case he needed to shed some light on the defense!
What do you call a quarterback who always tells jokes on the field? A laugh-a-pass!
What do you call a quarterback who gets every answer correct on a test? A pass master!
Why was the football stadium so hot during the game? Because the quarterback was on fire!
Why did the quarterback bring a net to the game? He wanted to catch a “touchdown” butterfly!
Why did the quarterback go to school? To get a little quarterbackage!
What did the quarterback say to the football before the game? “I’ve got you covered!”
Why did the football coach go to the bakery? He heard they had great rolls for his quarterback!
Why was the quarterback always cool-headed? Because he always kept a cool “huddle”!
Why did the quarterback take up baking? He wanted to be a real knead-er!
Why did the quarterback bring a camera to the game? Because he wanted to “capture” the moment of victory!
What did the quarterback say to the football before the game? “I hope you’re ready to catch some air-time!”
Why did the quarterback always bring a watermelon to practice? Because he liked to work on his throwing melons.
Why did the quarterback take his linemen out to eat? Because he wanted to show his “gratitude” for their protection!
How did the quarterback become a successful comedian? He knew how to throw a perfect punchline!
Why did the quarterback bring a math textbook to the game? Because he wanted to improve his pass completion percentage!
Why was the quarterback always confident? Because he knew he could always “pass” the test!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarterbacking skills checked!
What did the quarterback say to the pizza delivery guy? “Can you throw in a few extra slices? I’m a quarterback!”
Why was the football player late to his quarterback’s birthday party? Because he couldn’t find a good pocket!
Why was the football field always so hot during the game? Because all the fans were there!
Why did the quarterback wear two pairs of pants during the game? In case he wanted to throw a pair of touchdown passes!
How did the quarterback ask his girlfriend to marry him? He proposed a pass interference!
What did the quarterback say to the football? I can’t throw you properly, you’re not in my league.
Why did the quarterback always carry a stopwatch? So he could pass the time!
Why was the quarterback always the first one to finish their meal? Because they always throw for seconds!
How do quarterbacks stay warm during games? They stand close to the wide receivers!
Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the competition was fierce and wanted to be one step ahead!
Why did the quarterback bring a spoon to the game? In case he wanted to dish out some serious passes!
What do you call a quarterback with no arms or legs? A quarterbackless quarterback!
What did the quarterback say when he won the lottery? Now I can afford to buy a team of all-stars.
Why don’t quarterbacks use the phone? Because they can’t find the receiver!
What do you call a quarterback who loves to garden? A thrower with a green-thumb!
What did the quarterback say when he bought a new car? Now I have a drive to succeed on and off the field.
How did the quarterback propose to his girlfriend? He threw her a football-shaped engagement ring!
Why did the quarterback take up gardening? Because he wanted to learn how to throw a perfect spiral pass!
What did the quarterback say when he found out he was going to be a dad? “I’m ready to tackle fatherhood!”
How did the quarterback fix his computer? He tried turning it off and on, but it kept throwing interceptions!
Why did the quarterback go to college? To get a little more “class” in his passes!

Short Quarterback Jokes

Short quarterback jokes are like the perfect touchdown—simple, entertaining, and sure to make you the MVP of any social gathering.

These jokes are perfect for your group chats, social media posts, or that moment at a tailgate party when you want to lighten the mood.

The beauty of short quarterback jokes lies in their ability to deliver humor with precision and timing, just like the perfect spiral throw.

They are playful, sporty, and full of team spirit.

And now, ready, set, hike!

Here are short quarterback jokes that score a touchdown in the field of humor, all in just a few words.

Why was the quarterback’s computer cold? It kept throwing interceptions!
How did the quarterback feel after winning the Super Bowl? Touchdown-tastic!
Why do quarterbacks make great comedians? They always deliver the punchline!
Why was the quarterback always cold? He couldn’t find the heater!
What did the quarterback say to the football? I’m passing you!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t stop talking? A quarterbackbackbackback!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite holiday? Passover!
How does a quarterback like his eggs? Over easy passes!
What do you call a quarterback’s pet parrot? A squawking back!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t see? A blindside thrower!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of food? Hail Marys!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite kind of meal? A pass-ta!
Why was the math book sad? It had too many interceptions!
What do you call a quarterback with great aim? A passing perfectionist!
Why did the quarterback take a cooking class? To improve his “passes”!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t run? A slow-motion pass!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of chocolate? A touchdown bar!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite dance move? The end zone shuffle!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite vegetable? A toss-tato!
Why was the quarterback the worst comedian? He couldn’t pass the punchline!
What do you call a quarterback who loves math? A calculation thrower!

Quarterback Jokes One-Liners

Quarterback jokes one-liners embody the humor and irony of football in a simple yet witty sentence.

They’re the conversational equivalent of a perfectly thrown Hail Mary pass – unexpected, precise, and scoring big in laughter.

Mastering the art of a good one-liner requires a keen sense of timing, quick-wittedness, and a deep understanding of the game.

The real test is to incorporate the setup and punchline in one line, achieving the ultimate laughter touchdown with the least words possible.

May these quarterback one-liners have you chuckling even after the final whistle:

What did the quarterback say when he lost his helmet? “I need to “re-cover” my head!”
Why did the quarterback bring a mirror to the huddle? So he could see himself in the end zone!
What did the quarterback say to the football before the game? “I’ll give you a good pass, just don’t drop the ball!”
Why did the quarterback enroll in a cooking class? Because he wanted to learn how to throw the perfect “spice” route!
What do you call a quarterback who loves gardening? A pass-ionate planter!
Why did the quarterback become a singer? Because he wanted to throw some serious falsettos!
What do you call a quarterback who loves to dance? A twinkle toes-terback!
Why did the quarterback become a magician? Because he wanted to make the ball disappear into the end zone!
Why did the quarterback go to the dentist? He needed a pass completion!
Why did the quarterback go to the zoo? Because he wanted to see some tight-ends!
Why did the quarterback become an artist? He enjoyed painting “air” portraits with his passes!
Why was the quarterback’s mattress so comfortable? Because it had a great pocket spring!
Why did the quarterback always have a messy locker? Because he couldn’t find a good pocket to put things in!
My quarterback skills are so bad, I once threw a spiral into the bleachers.
Why was the quarterback allergic to math? Because he couldn’t handle the X’s and O’s!
I asked the quarterback to pass me the remote, but he ended up throwing it out the window.
Why did the quarterback start a comedy club? He had a knack for delivering punchlines on the field!
Why did the quarterback become a musician? Because he knew how to throw some killer beats!
What did the quarterback say to the football? “I’ll always have you in my hands, but never in my heart!”
Why did the quarterback take a cooking class? He wanted to perfect his pass-try!
Why was the quarterback always a great dancer? Because he had amazing footwork on and off the field!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the quarterback ketchup!
Why did the quarterback eat his playbook? Because he wanted to have a well-balanced diet!
I asked the quarterback if he could help me with my math homework, but he said his only expertise is in long passes.
Why did the quarterback take up painting? He wanted to perfect the art of throwing a canvas pass!
What did the quarterback say when he won the lottery? “I’m already a millionaire in touchdown passes!”
I thought I was a great quarterback until I realized I was just throwing shade at people.
Why did the quarterback wear headphones during the game? Because he liked to catch some beats!
I tried playing quarterback once, but the ball ended up in the popcorn vendor’s hands.
Why did the quarterback get a job at the bakery? He wanted to show off his superb rolls!
I asked my quarterback friend for advice on dating, but all he said was, “throw a Hail Mary.”
Why did the quarterback start a gardening club? He loved throwing seeds and throwing touchdowns!
What did the coach say to the quarterback who kept throwing interceptions? “You’re really picking up the wrong signals!”
Why did the quarterback visit the bakery? He wanted a slice of the end zone!
Why did the quarterback wear two shirts to the game? In case he threw too many touchdown passes and needed a backup!
Why did the quarterback go to the zoo? He wanted to see the wildcat formation up close!
Why did the quarterback start a bakery? Because he knew how to throw some serious dough!
What did the quarterback say to the football? “I can’t decide whether to pass or just pass out!”
Why did the tomato turn red after watching the quarterback play? Because it couldn’t ketchup with his skills!
Why did the quarterback bring a map to the game? He wanted to explore new routes to victory!
What do you call a quarterback’s pet dog? A ball retriever!
Why did the quarterback become a magician? Because he had the talent to make defenders disappear with his throws!
Why did the quarterback always bring a spoon to the game? In case he needed to stir things up!
Why did the quarterback become a chef? Because he was a pro at throwing spice in the pocket!
Why did the quarterback start a band? He wanted to show off his rock-solid passes!
Why did the quarterback bring a cake to practice? Because he wanted to add some extra “icing” to his passes!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank after every game? To make sure he always had a lot of pocket change!
Why did the football team bring string to the game? In case they needed to tie the score!
What did the quarterback say to the football when it asked for a raise? Sorry, you’ll have to pass on that one!
Why did the quarterback become a magician? He wanted to master the art of misdirection!
My quarterback skills are so bad, I once threw a touchdown for the opposing team.
Why did the quarterback take the team to the bakery? Because he wanted to score some turnovers!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t throw a spiral? A “hurler” instead of a hurler!
What did the football say to the quarterback? “I’m just a little deflated without you!”
I don’t need a quarterback to spice up my life, I’ve got salsa.
Why did the football team go to the library? To check out some audible books!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t handle pressure? A quitterback!
Why did the quarterback become an astronaut? He wanted to throw the perfect pass in zero gravity!
What did the quarterback say to the football on game day? “I’ll always give you a good punt-tuation!”
My favorite quarterback always has a backup plan…and a backup quarterback too.
Why did the quarterback become a detective? Because he was great at finding the open receiver!
I tried to become a quarterback, but I couldn’t handle the pressure, so I settled for being a couch potato.
Why was the quarterback always a good dancer? He had great “foot”work!
Why did the quarterback go to the bakery? He wanted to get his hands on some turnovers!
Why was the quarterback always cool under pressure? Because he had a lot of fans!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite snack? Quarter chips and dip!
Why was the quarterback always hungry? He couldn’t resist a good toss salad!
What did the quarterback say to the football after it scored a touchdown? “You really know how to pass the buck!”
Why did the quarterback start a gardening business? Because he loved throwing touchdowns in the end zone!
Why did the quarterback join a circus? He loved throwing passes to tightrope walkers!
Why did the quarterback take up gardening? Because he heard it was a great way to “pass” thyme!
Why did the quarterback start a band? He was tired of throwing footballs, he wanted to “pass” the mic!
What did the quarterback say to the receiver who kept dropping passes? “Don’t worry, I’ve got a catch plan!”
Why did the quarterback become a doctor? He wanted to perform some precision passes!
Why did the quarterback bring a pillow to the game? So he could dream up the perfect play!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? Because he wanted to pass his savings on to his receivers!
I asked my quarterback friend if he knew any good jokes, but he said he only throws touchdowns.
Why did the quarterback join the circus? Because he wanted to show off his “air” skills!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t find his helmet? A headless horseman!
Why did the quarterback become a farmer? He wanted to throw touchdowns in the end zone!
Why did the quarterback go to the library? He wanted to check out some passing references!
What did the quarterback say to his receiver when he kept dropping the ball? “Can’t you catch a break? Or at least a football?”
Why did the quarterback get a job at the bakery? He wanted to be an expert at rolling out turnovers!
Why did the quarterback always carry a spoon during games? Because he liked to dish out passes!
Why did the quarterback always carry a map? Because he loved going for the long pass!
Why did the quarterback join a gardening club? He heard they were experts at throwing “hail Mary” seeds!
I’m not a quarterback, but I could definitely throw some shade.
Why did the quarterback open a pet store? Because he had a knack for throwing accurate flea flickers!
Why do quarterbacks always seem calm? Because they have good pocket presence!
What did the quarterback say to his receiver? “I’ll always throw you a lifeline!”
Why did the quarterback join a music band? Because he loved throwing deep passes that hit all the right notes!
Why did the quarterback start a clothing line? He wanted to throw some stylish passes!
Why did the quarterback bring a pillow to the game? He wanted to “pass” out touchdowns in his sleep!
Why did the quarterback start a fashion line? He wanted to design the perfect pocket square!
Why did the quarterback go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to draw a perfect pass!
Why did the quarterback go to the bakery? He wanted to learn how to throw the perfect “roll” out pass!
Why did the quarterback always carry a map? Because he was known for throwing perfect spirals!

Quarterback Dad Jokes

Quarterback dad jokes are the ultimate combination of sports puns and classic dad humor that are bound to make you roll your eyes and chuckle simultaneously.

They’re the sort of jokes that are so cheesy, they become hilarious.

Ideal for game day, family barbecues, or just to lighten the mood on a regular day.

Prepare for the smirks and sighs.

Here are some quarterback dad jokes that are guaranteed to score a touchdown in your next conversation:

Why was the quarterback’s math test so difficult? Because it had a lot of X’s and O’s!
Why did the quarterback never attend math class? He preferred to focus on throwing touchdowns, not numbers!
Why was the quarterback such a good gardener? Because he always knew how to plant a perfect pass!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? Because he wanted to make a lot of coin tosses!
Why don’t quarterbacks ever vacation in the tropics? Because they always want to stay in the pocket!
Why did the quarterback open a bakery? Because he knew how to pass with flaky precision!
Why did the quarterback join the gardening club? He wanted to learn how to “plant” the perfect pass!
Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the tickets were in the nosebleed section!
Why did the quarterback always wear two pairs of pants? In case he needed to throw in a few extra yards!
Why did the quarterback bring a map to the game? In case he needed to pass his way out of a tight end!
Why did the quarterback bring a blanket to the game? Because he wanted to throw some touchdowns and then snuggle up for a nap!
Why did the quarterback become an artist? Because he knew how to draw up some amazing plays!
Why did the quarterback bring a map to the game? Because he was determined to find the end zone!
What did the quarterback say to the football before the game? I’ll always be by your side, ball.
Why was the quarterback always cold during games? Because he couldn’t find his long sleeve passes!
Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to the game? In case he wanted to throw a “Hail Mary” pass!
Why did the football team go to the bakery after the game? Because the quarterback wanted some turnovers!
Why don’t quarterbacks like to eat popcorn? Because they can’t resist throwing it!
Why was the quarterback always cold during the game? Because he always threw a lot of “chill” passes!
Why did the quarterback make an appointment with a dentist? He wanted to improve his “tooth”downs!
What do you call a quarterback’s favorite drink? A football Fizz!
Why was the quarterback such a good singer? Because he knew how to throw some pitch-perfect passes!
Why did the quarterback go to school early? Because he wanted to make sure he made the first throw.
Why did the quarterback bring a picnic basket to the game? Because he wanted to “pass” the mustard with his throws!
What did the quarterback say to his receivers at the bakery? “Let’s dough this!”
Why was the quarterback always so calm? Because he knew how to keep his composure in the pocket!
Why did the quarterback bring a suitcase to the game? Because he was planning on throwing some bombs!
Why did the quarterback invite the librarian to the game? Because he wanted to throw a “book” pass!
Why did the quarterback bring a map to the game? To make sure he could navigate the field!
What did the football coach say to the quarterback who couldn’t throw accurately? “You need to shape up and stop spiraling out of control!”
Why did the quarterback start a gardening club? Because he loved to throw seeds and watch his plays grow!
What did the quarterback say when he found a dollar on the ground? “I just made a quick pass!”
Why did the quarterback start a bakery? Because he wanted to throw some really sweet “rolls”!
Why did the quarterback take a cooking class? To learn how to perfectly toss a spiral pasta!
Why did the quarterback open a bakery? Because he knew how to make some killer rolls!
Why was the quarterback addicted to gardening? He loved throwing the long seed!
Why did the quarterback always eat breakfast before a game? Because he needed to fuel up for his pass-tastic plays!
Why did the quarterback open a construction company? Because he had a knack for throwing the perfect pass – a brick!
Why did the quarterback bring a clock to the game? Because he knew it was time for a touchdown!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite dessert? A “touchdown” brownie!
Why did the quarterback take up cooking? He wanted to make the best “play”te meals!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t make a decent pass? A lousy quarter-pounder!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t throw the ball straight? A wobblerback!
Why was the quarterback always studying? Because he wanted to improve his “pass”ing grade!
Why don’t quarterbacks eat bananas? Because they can’t find an open receiver!
Why did the quarterback bring a flashlight to the game? Because he wanted to shine bright like a touchdown!
What do you get when you cross a quarterback and a mathematician? A touchdown pass-time!
Why did the quarterback get a job at the bakery? Because he knew how to “roll out” the perfect pass!
What did the football coach say to the quarterback who wasn’t throwing well? “You’re not putting enough air in it, pump it up!”
Why did the quarterback always have great posture? Because he never wanted to be “intercepted” by bad posture!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? Because he knew how to make some good passes!
Why did the quarterback take his date to the football field? Because he wanted to show her his impressive “pass”ion!
Why was the quarterback’s refrigerator always empty? Because he was always passing!
Why did the quarterback bring his dog to the game? Because he wanted to show everyone his “pooch” formation!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t find his receiver? “Lost” in the huddle!
Why did the quarterback take his calculator to the game? In case he needed to crunch some numbers on the scoreboard!
What did the quarterback say to the football when it asked for directions? “Hut, hut, hike!”
Why did the quarterback become a chef? Because he knew how to cook up some perfect spirals!
Why did the football go to see the quarterback’s therapist? It had separation anxiety!
Why did the quarterback bring a map to the game? So he wouldn’t get intercepted on his way to the end zone.
How do quarterbacks stay warm during the game? They stand near the receivers because they always have a lot of “catch”!
Why did the quarterback switch to a plant-based diet? He wanted to throw veggie-tables instead of interceptions.
Why don’t quarterbacks like to go fishing? Because they can’t seem to catch anything but interceptions!
Why did the quarterback take a cooking class? Because he wanted to master the art of throwing a perfect spiral pasta!
How does a quarterback like his eggs? Tossed in the end zone!
What did the quarterback say to the football before the game? “I’ll always throw you the perfect pass, you can count on me!”
Why do quarterbacks make great comedians? Because they always know how to throw a good punchline!
Why was the quarterback so good at math? Because he knew how to “calculate” the perfect pass!
What do you call a quarterback’s favorite exercise? A “throw-bic” workout!
Why did the quarterback become a math teacher? Because he knew how to calculate the perfect angle for a pass!
What do you call a quarterback who becomes a detective? An “interception” investigator!
Why did the quarterback bring a whistle to the game? Because he wanted to make sure he was always in play!
Why did the quarterback bring a whistle to the game? In case he needed to call a timeout for a snack break!
Why did the quarterback become a barber? Because he was an expert at giving hair-raising throws!
What do you call a quarterback who throws a touchdown pass on every play? A myth!
Why did the quarterback become a detective? Because he was always on the case to solve the perfect pass!
What did the quarterback say to his receiver? “I’m throwing a party and you’re the main catch!”
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a magician? A trick passer!
Why did the quarterback bring a math book to the game? Because he wanted to improve his accuracy by learning how to calculate the perfect angles!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To improve his passing game by working on his “check” downs!
What did the football coach say to the quarterback after a great pass? You really threw a touchdown with that one!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of footwear? Sneakers, for the element of surprise!
Why do quarterbacks make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always end up being intercepted!
Why was the quarterback always cool under pressure? Because he had the perfect “huddle” temperature!
Why did the quarterback become a weather forecaster? Because he was always accurate at predicting the air pressure!
Why did the quarterback become an electrician? Because he knew how to throw the perfect lightbulb!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? Because he knew it was a good place to pass!
Why was the quarterback always the best at math? Because he knew how to “pass” all the calculations!
Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to throw the ball over the goal post!
Why did the quarterback join a choir? Because he wanted to learn how to throw a pitch!
Why did the quarterback wear two shirts to the game? In case he wanted to “throw” on a different look!
Why did the quarterback wear a raincoat during the game? In case of a passing shower!
Why don’t quarterbacks eat cookies? Because they prefer a well-balanced offense!
Why do quarterbacks make terrible comedians? Because they can’t throw a punchline!
Why did the quarterback take his dog to the game? Because he wanted a little more “ruff”ness on the field!
What did the quarterback say to the football after it scored a touchdown? Nice spiral, you really caught my attention!
Why was the quarterback such a good gardener? Because he always had a great pass-thyme!
Why was the quarterback always a good student? Because he knew how to pass with flying colors.
Why did the quarterback take his dog to the game? Because he heard he had a great pass-ruff game!
Why did the quarterback open a bakery? Because he kneaded to work on his rolls!
What do you call a quarterback who can bake? A pie-throwing sensation!
Why did the quarterback go to school to become a chef? Because he wanted to master the art of throwing hot-dogs!
Why do quarterbacks make great gardeners? Because they always know how to plant a perfect spiral!
What do you call a quarterback’s favorite kind of pie? A touch-down pie!
Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to the game? So he could reach new heights on the field!
Why did the quarterback refuse to play cards? Because he was tired of “passing” everything!
Why did the quarterback go to the dentist? He needed a good pass-rinse to keep his smile shining on the field!
What did the quarterback say to the football before the game? I’m always here to catch you, buddy!
What did the quarterback say to the football before the game? “I can’t wait to pass you around!”
What do you call a quarterback who can’t throw a football? A “running back” in disguise!
Why did the quarterback bring a spoon to the game? Because he wanted to make some soup-er throws!

Quarterback Jokes for Kids

Quarterback jokes for kids are the home runs of the joke world—funny, harmless, and sure to score big laughs with the little ones.

These jokes inspire kids to learn about the fun side of sports, fostering a love for humor that’s as exciting as a touchdown.

Not only do they entertain, but they also subtly educate kids about the game of football, enhancing their understanding of the sport in a lighthearted way.

Plus, quarterback jokes for kids have the extra perk of making the game even more enjoyable, turning the sport into a source of laughter, as well as excitement.

Ready to kick off some good-humored fun?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling all the way to the end zone:

Why did the quarterback bring a mirror to the game? Because he wanted to show off his passing reflection!
Why did the quarterback take a nap during the game? Because he needed to pass on some Z’s!
What did the quarterback say to the referee who made a bad call? “You’re off my “target” list!”
Why don’t quarterbacks like to play cards? Because they hate being tackled!
Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb to new heights and make great passes!
Why did the quarterback bring a loaf of bread to the game? Because he was ready to roll out the dough!
Why did the quarterback go to college? To get a “degree” in throwing touchdowns!
Why did the football coach go to the bank with the quarterback? To help him make some good passes!
How do quarterbacks communicate with each other? They huddle together and whisper sweet nothings!
Why did the football coach go to the bakery? To get some quick rolls for the quarterback!
Why did the quarterback go to the bakery before the game? He wanted to get a “roll out” of the way!
What do you call a quarterback who can throw a football through a tire swing? A quarterback with perfect aim!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of ice cream? Quarterberry!
Why did the quarterback bring his own chair to the game? Because he wanted to have a front-row seat for his touchdown passes!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t get up in the morning? A sleepy thrower!
What did the quarterback say to the football when it complained about being thrown too hard? “Just catch it!”
What’s a quarterback’s favorite dance move? The Touchdown Tango!
How do you know a quarterback is good at math? He can always make a perfect spiral!
Why did the tomato go out with the quarterback? Because it saw a catch-up opportunity!
Why do quarterbacks always carry a pen and paper? Because they’re always ready to draw up a play!
What did the football say to the quarterback when it wanted to play hide and seek? Hut, hut… hike!
Why did the football team bring their own stadium to the game? Because the quarterback said he wanted to play at home!
What did the football coach say to the quarterback before the game? Just remember to pass with flying colors!
Why did the football player bring a map to the game? Because he didn’t want to get intercepted by the defense!
Why did the football go to the bank? Because it wanted to become a quarterback!
What do you call a quarterback’s favorite dance move? The “passing” shuffle!
Why did the quarterback bring a pillow to the game? So he could “pass” out after a long day of playing!
What do you call a quarterback who can juggle? A multi-talented passer!
What do you call a quarterback who can sing? A “throwing” tenor!
Why did the quarterback bring a mirror to the game? So he could practice his quarterback reflections!
What did the football coach say to the quarterback? Throw the ball, not a tantrum!
Why did the quarterback bring a pig to the game? Because he heard the defense was weak against a “pigskin”!
What did the football say to the quarterback during a game? “I’m here to support you, so just throw me a good pass!”
Why did the football team go to the bakery? Because they wanted to get some quarterbackies!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of math? Touchdowns!
Why did the quarterback eat the clock? Because he wanted to have seconds and thirds!
Why was the quarterback always so calm under pressure? Because he knew how to tackle any situation!
Why do quarterbacks love math? Because it helps them calculate their completion percentage!
Why did the quarterback bring a loaf of bread to the game? Because he wanted to make a lot of toast-downs!
What do you call a quarterback who becomes a magician? A presto thrower!
Why do quarterbacks always carry a pen and paper? So they can draw up their plays!
Why do quarterbacks love math class? Because they’re always good at passing the problems!
Why did the quarterback bring a blanket to the game? Because he wanted to throw a touchdown pass and cover the receiver!
Why did the quarterback bring a pillow to the game? Because they wanted to have a “soft” landing after throwing a touchdown pass!
Why did the quarterback go to the circus? Because he wanted to try juggling footballs!
What did the football coach say to the quarterback when they were late for practice? “You’re behind schedule!”
Why was the football team’s cookbook so messy? The quarterback kept throwing interceptions!
Why did the quarterback wear a hat to the game? Because he wanted to throw some shade at the defense!
Why did the football player bring string to the game? Because he wanted to tie up the score!
Why did the quarterback eat his homework? Because his coach told him it was a “passing” grade!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of music? Quarterbackstreet Boys!
Why was the quarterback always cool during the game? Because he always kept his cool under pressure!
Why did the coach take the quarterback to the bakery? Because he wanted to turn him into a “roll” model!
What do you call a quarterback who likes to eat ice cream? A chill passer!
Why did the quarterback bring his pig to the game? Because he wanted to win by a snout!
How do quarterbacks stay cool during the game? They stand next to the fans!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t stop sneezing? A quarterback with a “pass-tissue” problem!
Why did the quarterback take his clock to practice? Because he wanted to work on his “pass” time!
What did the quarterback say to the football when it refused to move? “Don’t be a sideline-sitter!”
Why did the quarterback bring a stopwatch to the game? Because he wanted to stop time and make the game last forever!
Why did the quarterback bring an umbrella to the game? Because he heard the opposing team had a strong passing shower!
How do you recognize a quarterback at the beach? They’re the ones always throwing the football instead of a beachball!
What’s a quarterback’s favorite dessert? Touchdown-uts!
How did the quarterback feel after winning the game? Quarterback-ulous!
Why don’t quarterbacks like to get caught in the rain? Because they hate the idea of a “pass” storm!
What do you call a quarterback who’s afraid of the dark? A night quarterback!
Why did the quarterback take his team to the bakery? He wanted to give them a great roll out!
What did the football say to the quarterback? “Throw me a spiral, please!”
Why was the football field always so hot? Because the quarterback was always on fire with his passes!
What do you get if you cross a quarterback with a computer? A lot of screen passes!
Why did the football coach go to the bakery with the quarterback? Because he wanted to get a good roll out of him!
How does a quarterback get to school? They huddle up and take the bus!
What do you call a quarterback’s favorite song? “I Wanna Throw It All Away!”
Why did the coach bring a ladder to the practice? So the quarterback could work on their “passing game”!
What do you call a quarterback’s bedtime story? A “Huddle and Cuddle”!
Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? Because he wanted to draw up some winning plays!
Why did the quarterback always bring a pillow to the game? So he could take a quick nap after scoring a touchdown!
What did the quarterback say to the football when it asked for a bedtime story? Huddle up, it’s time for a touchdown tale!
What do you call a quarterback who becomes a mathematician? A pass-trologist!
Why did the quarterback take the football to a comedy show? Because he wanted to throw some jokes!
Why did the quarterback eat a clock? He wanted to have a good time, and a second helping!
Why was the quarterback always so cool? Because he always stayed calm in the pocket!
What do you get if you cross a quarterback with a pastry chef? A pie-thon!
What did the quarterback say to the football? “I can’t wait to throw you a touchdown!”
How did the quarterback fix his broken helmet? With a quarterback patch!
Why did the football team bring a cake to the quarterback? To celebrate their sweet victory!
What did the quarterback say to the football after the game? “You’re my number one “throw” mate!”
Why did the quarterback take his piggy bank to the game? Because he wanted to save up some quarters!
What do you call a quarterback who can play the piano? A touchdown maestro!
What did the quarterback say to the football when it asked for a raise? “Sorry, I can’t inflate your salary!”
How does a quarterback like to travel? By “pass”-enger train!
What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? Quarterback-and-roll!
What did the football say to the quarterback before the game? “I’m ready to be thrown into action!”
Why was the quarterback always looking for his helmet? Because he kept passing it to the receiver!
Why did the quarterback bring a chef’s hat to the game? Because he wanted to cook up some touchdown passes!
Why did the quarterback always have a stopwatch in his pocket? Because he wanted to be the best in no time!
Why did the quarterback wear a helmet during the game? Because he didn’t want to lose his head while making those amazing passes!
Why do quarterbacks always carry a towel? To wipe away the competition!
What do you call a quarterback who can throw a football to outer space? An astro-pass-er!
Why was the quarterback always cold during the game? Because he always threw too many snowballs!
Why do quarterbacks love gardening? Because they enjoy throwing deep seeds!

Quarterback Jokes for Adults

Who says football can’t be funny?

Quarterback jokes for adults elevate the humor game, mixing sharp wit with a hint of playfulness.

Just like a well-executed touchdown, these jokes blend elements of humor, intelligence, and a pinch of audacity for a remarkable chuckle.

These jokes are perfect for sports gatherings, game nights, or simply to break the ice during a tense discussion among friends.

Here are some quarterback jokes that are sure to score among adults:

What did the quarterback say to his receivers at the buffet? “Get ready for a passing feast!”
What did the quarterback say to his receiver after a big play? “Nice catch! You really went the “extra yard” for that one!”
Why did the quarterback go to college? To gain some extra “quarterbacks”!
Why did the quarterback become a gardener? He loved throwing ‘seeds’ of success!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t score a touchdown? A benchwarmer!
Why did the quarterback take up gardening? Because he wanted to make his passes more accurate!
Why did the quarterback get a job at the bakery? He had a knack for rolling perfect turnovers!
What did the quarterback say when he opened a fortune cookie? “Looks like I’m destined for a touchdown!”
Why did the quarterback go to college? Because he wanted to major in “touchdowns”!
Why was the quarterback so confident? Because he always had a game plan!
Why did the quarterback go to the dentist? To get his “passing” teeth checked!
Why did the quarterback open a pet grooming salon? He was used to handling tight ends!
What did the quarterback say to the wide receiver who kept dropping the ball? “Stop butterfingers, or I’ll spread the blame!”
Why was the quarterback such a good gardener? He had a great arm for throwing seeds!
Why was the quarterback always confident? Because he knew he had the perfect pass-itude!
Why did the quarterback get a job at the bakery? Because he’s always looking for a good roll-out!
What did the quarterback say to the football? “I can’t read your plays, you’re always passing me by!”
Why did the quarterback always bring a pen to the game? In case he needed to draw a new play in the dirt!
What did the quarterback say to the referee after a penalty? “Hey ref, I think you need to “pass interference” with your eyes checked!”
Why did the quarterback join a band? Because he wanted to be the “lead thrower”!
Why did the quarterback go to the comedy club? To work on his “throwing” lines!
Why did the quarterback join a cooking class? He wanted to learn how to “quarter” the ingredients perfectly!
Why did the quarterback start a gardening business? Because he wanted to throw the perfect spiral-ina!
What did the quarterback say when he lost his favorite pen? “I need a new playpen!”
Why did the quarterback bring a map to the game? So he could find all the open receivers!
Why did the quarterback go to the art gallery? He wanted to learn how to throw “masterpieces” on the field!
Why did the quarterback bring a dictionary to the game? He wanted to “pass” the time by improving his vocabulary!
Why did the quarterback go to art school? Because he wanted to master the pass-tel technique!
Why did the quarterback bring a pillow to the game? To catch some Z’s on the sidelines!
Why did the quarterback always bring a blanket to the game? He wanted to be prepared for any “quarter”back sneak plays!
What did the quarterback say to the football before throwing it? “You and I are about to score big time!”
Why did the quarterback bring his own seasoning to the game? He wanted to add a little “flavor” to his passes!
Why did the quarterback wear a suit to the game? He wanted to be the ‘quart-dressed’ player on the field!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? He wanted to throw some “passes” into his savings account!
Why did the quarterback take his offensive coordinator to the aquarium? He wanted to see some great plays and dolphins!
What did the quarterback say to the pizza delivery guy? “Make sure you deliver it right on target!”
Why did the quarterback bring a vacuum cleaner to practice? He wanted to clean up his passing game!
Why did the quarterback bring a map to the game? He wanted to make sure he always found the end zone!
Why did the quarterback start a gardening business? He wanted to prove he could “sow” accurate passes!
Why did the quarterback become a chef? Because he wanted to throw some touchdown passes… of flavor!
What do you call a quarterback’s favorite type of sandwich? A “huddle” sandwich!
What did the quarterback say to the coach when he got hit by a linebacker? “I need some backup protection!”
What did the quarterback say to the football when it asked for a date? “Sorry, I can’t commit to a “long pass” relationship right now!”
Why did the quarterback get a job as a chef? Because he loved throwing the perfect pass-ta!
Why did the quarterback take the job at the bakery? He wanted to put his arm into kneading dough!
Why did the quarterback go to the bakery? He wanted to get a little more “roll” in his game!
What did the quarterback say when he discovered a hidden treasure chest? “I just found a great deep pass route!”
What did the quarterback say to his receiver after a touchdown? “Nice catch, you really aced it!”
Why was the quarterback always a great chef? Because he knew how to “quarter”-back his ingredients!
What did the quarterback say to his offensive line? “I can’t seem to find any “pro-tection” here!”
Why did the quarterback wear a turtleneck during the game? He wanted to protect his “neck and shoulders” from the defense!
Why did the quarterback become a stand-up comedian? He always knew how to “pass” the punchlines!
Why did the quarterback bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard it was a good way to dish out passes!
Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to the game? He heard the competition was looking for a touchdown!
Why did the quarterback visit the bank? He wanted to make a deposit in the “touchdown” account!
Why did the quarterback always win at poker? He had a great poker face when calling audibles!
Why did the quarterback join the circus? He heard they were looking for someone with a “strong arm”!
What did the quarterback say to the football before the game? I’ll throw you a spiral, so get ready to be dizzy!
Why did the quarterback join the gym? He wanted to work on his “pass”ing muscles!
Why did the quarterback go to school? Because he wanted to improve his throw-gebra skills!
Why did the quarterback take a nap during the game? He needed a little “quarter”-back relaxation!
What did the quarterback say to his receiver before the game? “Let’s catch some touchdowns and make it a reel good time!”
Why did the quarterback become a baker? He wanted to throw the best “rolls” in town!
Why did the quarterback become an actor? He loved playing the ‘leading’ role!
What did the quarterback say to the end zone? I’ll always find a way to score with you!
What did the quarterback say to the ref after a bad call? “Are you sure you’re not blind, ref? I could have hit that receiver with my eyes closed!”
Why did the quarterback always carry a mirror? So he could see himself in the pocket!
Why did the quarterback bring his dog to practice? He heard it was a good “wide retriever”!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t catch a cold? A wide receiver!
Why don’t quarterbacks like playing cards? Because they’re always afraid of a blitz!
What do you call a quarterback who’s also an artist? A Picasso of passes!
Why did the quarterback open a bakery? Because he wanted to throw “rolls” instead of footballs!
Why did the quarterback go to college? He wanted to pass with flying colors!
Why did the quarterback become a scientist? He wanted to perfect the art of throwing the perfect spiral molecule!
Why did the quarterback always carry a math book? He wanted to make sure his “passes” were always “calculated”!
What do you call a quarterback who’s been sacked a hundred times? A slow learner!
What did the quarterback say to his coach after the game? “I’ll take full responsibility for the touchdowns… but the losses are on you, coach!”
Why did the quarterback join the circus? He loved throwing passes under the big top!
What do you call a quarterback who can’t throw accurately? A “pass”-tense quarterback!
Why did the quarterback take his linemen to the movie theater? Because he heard it was a “blockbuster”!
Why did the quarterback take his offensive line to the movies? He wanted them to see a film with a lot of screenplays!
Why did the quarterback start a landscaping business? He knew how to throw a perfect lawn dart!
What did the football say to the star quarterback? “I get a kick out of you!”
What did the quarterback say to the pizza delivery guy? I’ll always deliver, just like my passes!
What did the quarterback say to his running back? Let’s run this game and leave the defense in the dust!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank after the game? He wanted to deposit his “quarter”back salary!
Why did the quarterback go to the dentist? He needed a good play-caller for his teeth!
What do you call a quarterback who can throw a ball 100 yards? A liar!
What did the quarterback say to the football on Valentine’s Day? “I’m always ready for a good catch!”
Why did the quarterback become a chef? Because he heard he could always make a great pass-ta!
What did the quarterback say when he found out he won the lottery? “I guess my passes are finally paying off!”
What did the quarterback say when his coach asked him to throw a Hail Mary? “Can I at least throw a Hail John or Hail Mike first?”
What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of dessert? Hail Mary pie!
Why did the quarterback take his team to the zoo? Because he wanted to see some “wild”cat formations!
What did the quarterback say to the football after it was intercepted? “You’re not getting away that easily!”
Why did the quarterback join a band? He wanted to be the one throwing the perfect spiral!
Why don’t quarterbacks eat clocks? Because it’s too time-consuming!
What did the quarterback say when he found a dollar bill on the field? “I guess it’s my “quarter”back!”
What did the coach say when the quarterback asked for a day off? “You can’t just “pass” on your responsibilities!”
How does a quarterback’s wife keep him humble? By reminding him that even he can’t win an argument against instant replay!
What did the quarterback say to his receiver when he caught a cold? “Don’t worry, I’ll pass you the tissues!”
What did the quarterback say to the wide receiver who dropped the ball? “You really dropped the ball on that one!”
Why did the quarterback open a bakery? Because he wanted to be known for his “dough”minant passes!
What did the quarterback say to his favorite soda? “You’re my QB-rewer!”
Why did the quarterback take up gardening? Because he wanted to improve his passing skills by throwing spirals!
Why did the quarterback get a job as a carpenter? He’s great at hammering out passes!
What did the quarterback say to his teammates before the big game? “Let’s tackle this together and go for a “Hail Mary”!”
Why did the quarterback take his offensive line to the bakery? He wanted them to practice their rolls!
Why did the quarterback become a chef after retiring? Because he wanted to “pass” on his skills to the next generation of cooks!
Why did the quarterback start a gardening business? He had the best Hail Marys for planting seeds!
What did the quarterback say to the football after a touchdown? “You’re the best catch I’ve ever made!”
What do you call a quarterback who can’t throw a football properly? A “missile” guidance counselor!

Quarterback Joke Generator

Tackling the task of writing the perfect quarterback joke can sometimes lead to a fumble.

(Interception, anyone?)

That’s where our FREE Quarterback Joke Generator steps in to carry the ball.

Strategically programmed to combine witty puns, sports humor, and playful phrases, it creates jokes that are sure to score touchdowns in any social situation.

Don’t let your humor get sacked behind the line of scrimmage.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as sharp and on point as a quarterback’s throw.

FAQs About Quarterback Jokes

Why are quarterback jokes so popular?

Quarterback jokes are popular because they mix two universally enjoyed things: football and humor.

These jokes play off the unique role of the quarterback in the game, making them relatable to any football fan and even those just familiar with the sport.

Can quarterback jokes help in social situations?

Absolutely!

Quarterback jokes can be a fantastic ice-breaker, especially in a group of sports enthusiasts.

These jokes can easily spark a conversation and serve as a fun bonding experience.

How can I come up with my own quarterback jokes?

Get to know the quarterback’s role in a football game: their responsibilities, common moves, and player dynamics.
Consider some well-known quarterbacks or common quarterback stereotypes for inspiration.
Think about the game of football itself. Are there any funny situations or phrases that come to mind?
Play with puns and wordplay. The football vocabulary offers plenty of opportunities for this.
Finally, remember humor often comes from unexpected turns. Surprise your audience with the punchline.