861 Scream Jokes That Will Have You Howling with Laughter

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re braced for the terrifying thrill of scream jokes.

These aren’t just any jokes, but the most spine-chillingly hilarious of them all.

That’s why we’ve conjured up a list of the most bone-rattling scream jokes.

From spine-tingling puns to hair-raising one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every eerie twist and turn.

So, let’s plunge into the ghoulish heart of scream humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Scream Jokes

Scream jokes are an unusual blend of humor and horror that can leave you in stitches as well as shivers.

They are not just about the act of screaming, but the situations, characters, and even the horror genre that involve it.

Mastering a scream joke requires a balance of timing, suspense, and a dash of the absurd.

It’s all about playing with the anticipation of the scream, the unexpectedness of the punchline, and the absurdity of the situation that led to the scream.

Ready for some spine-chilling laughter?

Brace yourself and let out a hearty laugh with these scream jokes!

Why did the scream go to the doctor? It had a case of laryngitis and needed to find its voice again!
What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!” Then they both screamed, “AHHH, CORNER!”
Why was the math book always afraid? Because it had too many problems that would make anyone scream!
Why did the vampire scream at the dentist? It wanted to get a good tooth-scare!
What do you call a deer that screams? A buck-toothed shrieker!
Why did the chicken scream at the football game? It got egg-cited!
What do you call it when a ghost screams boo and then laughs? A hyster-boo-l!
Why did the refrigerator scream? It saw the salad dressing go bad!
What do you call a cow that screams? A moo-vie star.
Why did the scarecrow scream when the wind blew? It lost its “self-control”!
Why did the zombie scream at the grocery store? It couldn’t find its favorite brain food!
What do you call it when a scream makes you laugh? A hilarious shriek!
Why did the vampire take singing lessons? So it could hit the high notes when it screams!
What did the quiet library say to the loud scream? Shhh… you’re giving me a headache!
Why did the ghost go to the party? Because he heard it was going to be a scream!
What do you call a scaredy-cat who is always screaming? A fraidy-shriek!
Why did the ghost become a stand-up comedian? It had a killer scream.
Why don’t screams ever get invited to parties? They always make everyone lose their voice.
Why did the chicken scream at the comedy show? Because it cracked up!
Why did the scream go to the art gallery? To see the scream-masterpiece!
Why do ghosts make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always fall flat… and then scream!
Why did the skeleton scream at the party? It just couldn’t keep its emotions together.
What do you call a scary movie about the ocean? A scream-sea!
Why did the scream go to the party alone? Because it didn’t want to bring anyone to tears!
Why did the mummy scream at the movie theater? Because it couldn’t control its sarcophagus!
Why do ghosts make terrible comedians? Because they always boo the punchlines instead of screaming with laughter!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find any body to go with and scream at!
What do you call a scream that does yoga? A flex-a-scream!
Why did the werewolf scream when he saw the full moon? He realized it was a bad hair day!
Why do ghosts love to ride roller coasters? For the spine-tingling screams!
Why don’t mummies scream at the movie theater? Because they have no guts!
Why did the skeleton scream at the party? It couldn’t find its funny bone!
Why did the haunted house win an award? Because it gave everyone a scream of a time!
What do you call a scaredy-cat that can’t scream? A purr-anoid!
Why did the skeleton go to the scream concert? He had a bone to pick with the lead singer!
Why did the computer scream? It had a virus that kept telling it scary stories!
What do you call a scream that’s also a vegetable? A yell-ow pepper!
Why did the ghost scream at the party? It had accidentally stepped on a boo-boo trap!
What is a scream’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, of corpse.
Why did the scream go to the gym? To get some vocal cords!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the cornfield? It heard it was stalking it on social media.
Why did the scream bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to reach new heights of excitement!
Why don’t screams ever tell jokes? Because they’re always too loud to deliver the punchline!
What do you call a scream with a carrot in its ear? Anything you want because it can’t hear you!
Why did the pillow scream? It had nightmares about being smothered!
Why did the scream go to art school? Because it wanted to draw attention!
Why did the ghost go to therapy? He needed to exorcise his screams!
Why did the computer scream at its owner? Because he kept pressing all the wrong buttons!
Why did the scream bring a ladder to the grocery store? It wanted to get the high-pitch items from the top shelf!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the cornfield? It was a “maize”ing sight!
What do you call a scream that is made by a squirrel? An acorn-yell!
Why did the scream go to the party alone? Because it didn’t want to be a party pooper… or a scream-sharer!
Why did the banana go to the scream? Because it had a peel-ing!
Why did the computer scream? It found a mouse in its database!
Why did the scream go to the bakery? Because it heard they had “killer” pastries!
Why did the computer scream? Because its memory was filled with too many bad puns!
Why did the computer scream? Because its memory was full of scream-savers!
What do you call a ghost that is good at math? A scream of consciousness!
Why did the monster scream at the horror movie? It didn’t appreciate being stereotyped!
What do you call a haunted house that loves to scream? A holler-coaster.
What do you call a ghost that’s a good singer? An opera-ghoul.
How do you make a tissue scream? Put a little “boogie” in it!
Why did the vampire scream when he saw his reflection? He realized he had spinach in his teeth!
Why did the monster start a band? Because it had a killer scream!
What do you call a scream that’s full of laughter? A scream-roller!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the pumpkin? It was trying to squash its fears!
Why did the scream go to therapy? It had too many “ahhh” issues.
Why did the skeleton scream with joy? It finally got a funny bone transplant!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the cornfield? Because it heard it was going to be “stalked”!
What do you call a mummy that screams for help? An un-wrapped attention seeker.
Why did the dentist scream while working on a patient’s teeth? He accidentally bit his own finger! Ouch!
Why did the ghost go to therapy? Because it had too many haunting screams.
Why did the rock band scream during their concert? Because they wanted to make a sound impression!
What do you call a screaming ghost in the kitchen? A poultrygeist!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because it had a “scream-worthy” performance!
What kind of scream can tell jokes? A funny bone!
Why did the soccer player scream at the ball? Because it made a “goal-awful” pun!
What do you call a scream that is covered in fur? A hairy-scary scream!
What is a ghost’s favorite type of music? Soul-screaming!
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a scream? A woolly jumper!
Why did the chicken scream at the horror movie? Because it saw a chicken wing get eaten!
Why did the singer scream at the bakery? Because he wanted a higher loaf!
What did the banana say to the ghost? “I find you a-peeling!”
Why did the witch scream when she lost her broomstick? She couldn’t sweep it under the rug!
Why was the math book so afraid? It saw the scream of the crop coming!
Why was the scream so good at karaoke? Because it could really hit those high notes!
Why did the chicken scream at the comedy show? It heard the yolk of the joke!
What do you call a scream that’s also a fruit? A terrified kiwi!
Why did the ghost take singing lessons? Because it wanted to become a scream-tenor!
Why did the skeleton scream in the haunted house? Because it had a bone to pick with the decorations!
Why did the skeleton scream at the comedy show? Because it had a “funny bone” to pick with the comedian!
Why did the ghost attend therapy? Because he had a lot of unresolved screams!
Why did the scream break up with the laughter? Because it couldn’t stop screaming with joy!
Why did the ghost scream into the pillow? It needed a little “boo-st”!
Why did the vampire scream? He was having a coffin fit!
Why did the ghost go hoarse from screaming? It was hauntingly loud!
Why did the pencil scream? It wanted to be “sharp” and witty!
Why did the banana go to therapy? Because it had a lot of peelings… and it needed to scream them out!
Why did the vampire scream when it saw its reflection? It thought it was “un-dead” ugly!
Why don’t ghosts ever get invited to parties? Because they’re a real scream!
Why did the chef scream while cooking? Because he saw a whisk-taker!
What’s a scream’s favorite dessert? Ice SCREAM!
Why did the mummy scream? It just unwrapped a terrible joke!
Why did the haunted house scream? It was afraid of its own shadow!
What do you call a ghost that’s a really good singer? An opera boo-r. It’ll make you scream… with laughter!
Why did the werewolf scream at the moon? Because it forgot to buy a nightlight!
Why did the ghost go to the scream club? He wanted to improve his “boo”-tiful voice!
Why don’t skeletons ever scream in haunted houses? They don’t have the guts!
Why did the computer scream? It had a virus with a terrible punchline!
What do you call a scream that’s out of shape? An unfit-shriek!
Why did the dentist scream while fixing a tooth? The patient gave them a “root” canal scare!
What do you call a haunted house that is also a bakery? A scream puff mansion!
What do you call a ghost who is great at giving advice? A shriek therapist!
Why did the computer scream? Because its memory was in a jam.
Why don’t scientists trust screams? Because they’re always changing their pitch.
Why did the computer scream? Because it had a virus that kept “screening” pop-up ads!
Why did the vampire scream when it saw a tomato? Because it thought it was a “blood” orange!
Why did the scarecrow scream? Because it heard there was a corny joke nearby!
Why did the vampire scream at the computer? It heard it had a killer byte.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing… and let out a little scream!
Why did the skeleton scream at the baseball game? Because he couldn’t find his funny bone!
Why did the mirror scream? Because it saw the face crack a joke!
What do you call a scream that won’t stop talking? A yellercoaster!
What did the horror movie director say to the actor? “I need you to scream… like you mean it!”
Why did the scream go to school? To get an AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Why did the ghost go to therapy? Because it was tired of screaming from the afterlife!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… and he could make people scream!
Why did the computer scream? Because a cookie was too big to download!
Why did the tomato turn purple? It was trying to catch its breath after screaming red for so long!
What do you get when you mix a scream and a sneeze? Aaaaa-choo!
Why did the ghost go to the party? To get its scream on!
Why did the witch scream when she cooked? She accidentally turned her broom into a spaghetti wand!
Why did the computer scream? Because it had a bad case of screensaver!
Why did the astronaut scream in space? Because he saw an alien wearing a “moonster” costume!
Why did the dentist scream while working on a patient’s tooth? Because it was an eek-molar extraction!
What do you call it when a banana screams? A peeling gone wrong!
Why did the chicken scream in the library? It wanted to get its “cluck” together!
What did the scream say to the pillow? “Stop smothering me!”

Short Scream Jokes

Short scream jokes are like a sudden jolt of a horror movie—swift, startling, and surprisingly amusing.

These jokes are perfect for text messages, social media posts, or that moment around the campfire when you need to lighten the mood.

The charm of short scream jokes lies in their ability to blend the absurd and the frightening, evoking laughter in just a few words.

And now, brace yourselves!

Here are some short scream jokes that will make you shriek with laughter in no time.

Why did the chef scream while cooking? He burnt his toast!
Why don’t skeletons like to shout? They prefer to bone-scream!
What do you call a Frankenstein who can’t scream? Mute-ant!
Why did the scream become a detective? It had a “blood-curdling” passion!
Why did the ghost go hoarse? It screamed too much!
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t stop screaming? A yellsaurus!
Why do ghosts love elevators? It gives them a lift!
What do you call a ghost’s scream? A terrorific screeeeeam!
Why was the computer screaming at its owner? It had a virus!
What do you call a terrified snowman? A SCREAMing icicle!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of scream? A terrifying-ly good one!
Why are screams so good at telling jokes? They always crack up!
Why did the mummy scream? It couldn’t find the right wrap music!
Why did the vampire take singing lessons? To improve his blood-curdling screams!
Why did the mummy scream? It had too many wrapped up emotions!
Why did the vampire scream at the bakery? He wanted bat-ter bread!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of scream? A blood-curdling scream!
Why did the chicken scream? Because it saw the frying pan!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of scream? Aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Why do witches scream when they fly? They just can’t help cackling!
Why was the math book scared? It had too many square roots!
What do you call a scream that’s a good swimmer? A scream-boat!
What do you call a group of screaming cats? The Meow Choir!
What do you call a ghost’s favorite dessert? SCREAM brulee!
What do you call a screaming ghost? A social “screamdia”!
Why did the scream go to school? To get its “scary-demic” degree!
What do you call a haunted elevator? A SCREAM-lift!
What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller-ghoster!
What do you call a scream that’s not your own? Identity theft!
What did the scream say to the joke? Stop making me laugh!
What’s a scarecrow’s favorite type of scream? A crop-top!
What did the ghost say to the haunted house? I’m “boo”tifully terrified!
What do you call a scream that wins a race? Vrooooom-scream!
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
Why did the zombie scream? It lost its appetite for brains!
Why did the scarecrow scream? Because it saw a “goblin”!
Why did the scarecrow scream? It lost its “scare”!
Why did the werewolf scream? It couldn’t find its comb!
Why did the vampire scream? He stubbed his toe on a casket!
What do you call a ghost who can’t stop screaming? A holler-geist!
Why did the vampire go to school? To improve his blood-curdling scream!
What do you call a scream that’s cut in half? A yell-ow!
Why did the skeleton scream in the library? It lost its spine!
What do you call a terrified train? An express scream!
Why do skeletons never scream in the library? They have no guts!
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? It raises their spirits!
Why do witches make terrible comedians? They only get cackles, not screams!

Scream Jokes One-Liners

Scream jokes one-liners are the epitome of laughter condensed into a single, witty sentence.

They’re the verbal equivalent of a thrilling scream in a spooky haunted house – unexpected, captivating, and irresistibly entertaining.

Creating a good scream one-liner involves a mix of clever wordplay, perfect timing, and a deep understanding of what makes us laugh out loud.

The task lies in encapsulating the buildup and the punchline in one concise phrase, delivering a belly laugh with just a few words.

Get ready to let out a howl of laughter with these scream one-liners:

My alarm clock is set to scream because apparently, waking up peacefully is overrated.
I screamed so loudly at a haunted house that the ghost apologized for scaring me and offered to make me a cup of tea.
I scream every time I see my phone battery at 1% because I know I’ll have to socialize with people soon.
I scream “bloody Mary” three times in the mirror every morning just to make sure I’m awake.
Why did the scream go to therapy? It had some serious vocal cord issues.
I tried to start a screaming contest, but I couldn’t find any contestants who were brave enough to participate.
Screaming is my cardio workout, especially when I see my credit card bill.
I wanted to make a horror movie, but it was a scream too far.
My scream sounds like a mix between a dying animal and a malfunctioning car alarm.
I was so scared during a horror movie that I screamed and accidentally took off my own contact lens. Now my screams have 20/20 vision.
I screamed “SURPRISE!” at my grandma’s birthday party, and now she won’t talk to me anymore.
Why did the scream break up with the whisper? It just couldn’t handle the volume!
Why was the scream afraid to go to the dentist? It didn’t want to face the drill!
My girlfriend’s scream when she saw a spider was so high-pitched, dogs from three blocks away started howling in harmony.
I scream so much at scary movies that the ghosts in them are starting to get scared of me.
What do you call a scream with a sense of humor? Hilarious shrieker!
I scream “Ice cream!” so enthusiastically that people think I’m auditioning for a dessert commercial.
The scream that went on a diet was told to cut back on the high-de-cibels.
I scream so loud at scary movies that even the ghosts get scared.
What do you call a scarecrow that can scream? A holler-weenie.
My neighbors must think I have a great singing voice, considering how often I scream in the shower.
I scream, you scream, we all scream when we see the price of movie theater popcorn.
Screaming is my cardio.
I don’t scream for ice cream; I scream because I stubbed my toe on it.
Why did the scream go to the gym? It wanted to work out its vocal cords!
Why did the scream go to school? To improve its “aahh!”-counting skills!
My neighbors must think I have a pet dinosaur with the amount of screaming I do during horror movies.
I’m not afraid of ghosts, but I do scream when I see my phone’s battery at 1%.
My scream is so high-pitched, it could shatter glass or attract bats.
Sometimes I scream just to break the awkward silence.
What do you call a scream that’s also a hairstyle? A “hair-raising” scream!
I scream so loudly that even haunted houses ask me to quiet down.
I used to be afraid of scream masks, but I’ve faced my fears and now I’m a Halloween hero.
My neighbor asked me to stop screaming so loudly during my horror movie marathon. I think I scared their cat… and their grandma.
I always scream when I see a horror movie, not because I’m scared, but because I spilled my popcorn again.
I tried to teach my dog to scream on command. All he does is give me a confused look and wag his tail.
I told my dentist a hilarious joke, but he couldn’t laugh because my mouth was wide open and I was screaming in pain.
I always scream when I see a spider, but I’m not sure if it’s to scare it away or warn others to stay away from me.
My friend’s scream sounds like a car alarm trying to sing opera.
Why did the skeleton scream at the party? He heard someone say, “Bone Appétit!”
My scream is so loud, it’s on a first-name basis with the neighbors.
Screaming is my natural response when someone asks me to wake up before 10 am on a weekend.
I scream, you scream, we all scream… but mainly just me when I see a spider.
I scream when I see a sale sign, just to blend in with the other shoppers.
I’m not afraid of ghosts, but I’m terrified of the sound my mom makes when she sees a spider.
Why did the scream join a choir? It wanted to harmonize its terrifying voice!
I tried to scream into a pillow to release my stress, but ended up scaring the pillow instead.
I scream so often, I’m considering getting a sponsorship from a throat lozenge company.
Why did the scream refuse to go on a rollercoaster? It didn’t want to lose its voice!
I tried to have a screaming contest with my mirror reflection, but we both won.
What do you call a scream that can’t tell jokes? A pun-intended scream!
I asked my doctor if screaming is good for my health, and he said, “It’s a great way to let off some steam!”
Why did the chicken scream at the haunted house? Because it heard there were “fowl” spirits inside!
Why did the vampire start a scream therapy group? He wanted to find his inner “aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”!
I hate it when I accidentally scream “WHAT?” at a deaf person.
The scream I let out when I stub my toe could wake the dead.
I scream at my WiFi router so it can feel the frustration it causes me when it disconnects randomly.
I tried to surprise my friend by jumping out and screaming “Boo!” but he was already screaming because he was watching a spider crawl up his leg.
My doctor told me I have a condition where I spontaneously scream the word “scream”. I said, “Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
I’m not afraid of spiders, I just scream to remind them who’s the boss.
My neighbor asked me to stop screaming in the shower. Now I just take baths with a megaphone.
I scream, you scream, we all scream when someone steals our ice cream.
Why did the ghost go hoarse? He was screaming all night!
What do you call a scream that’s a perfect 10? A tenor-riffic scream.
I don’t always scream, but when I do, it’s because I saw a spider.
My doctor said I have a condition where I involuntarily scream in awkward situations. It’s called “social screamia.”
If a scream is silent, is it still a scream or just an internal monologue?
My neighbor called the police because I screamed “Avocado!” every time I opened the fridge. Turns out they don’t appreciate puns during a midnight snack.
I screamed so loudly at a roller coaster that a seagull passing by thought I was its long-lost sibling and tried to join the ride.
I thought I could conquer my fear of heights, but then I saw a ladder and screamed for help.
Why did the scream go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a good SCREAM-mate!
I told my friend a joke so funny, they laughed until they screamed for help.
My boss asked me to scream at my computer to fix it, so now I have a full-time job as a computer exorcist.
What do you call a scream that is also a laugh? A scream of comedy!
I scream when I stub my toe, not because it hurts, but to drown out the sound of my own stupidity.
Screaming my lungs out is my cardio workout for the day.
My scream is so powerful, it can summon the hairdresser to fix my bad haircut instantly.
My scream is like a tornado warning – it comes out of nowhere and leaves a path of destruction.
I scream “SERENITY NOW!” to calm myself down, but it usually just scares everyone else in the room.
Why did the scream wear a helmet? To protect its “vocal cords”!
I screamed “be yourself” at my reflection, but it just smirked back and said, “I am.” Rude mirror.
My alarm clock screams every morning, but I can’t find the snooze button for my life.
The ghost that couldn’t scream ended up being a hoarse whisperer.
What do you call a screaming skeleton? A rattlescreamer!
I used to be afraid of elevators, but now I take them in stride… and scream if necessary.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make me scream like a little girl?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yes, the sound of me screaming and running away.
I tried to scream underwater, but all that came out was a bunch of bubbles.
I used to be afraid of the dark, but then I realized my electric bill was scarier.
My neighbors love it when I practice my opera singing at 3 am. They scream for an encore.
I used to have a fear of screaming, but then I let it all out.
What did one ghost say to the other? “Do you believe in screams after death?”
I scream because it’s cheaper than therapy and more effective than caffeine.
I once screamed so loud that my voice reached puberty before I did.
If screaming burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.
My scream could rival a tea kettle’s high pitch.
I scream every time I see a spider, which explains why my neighbors think I’m constantly being attacked by a serial killer.
I scream when I see a bug, not because I’m scared, but because it’s the only way to assert dominance.
I scream when someone sneezes near me, not because I’m scared, but because germs are terrifying.
I scream at spiders as if they can understand my warnings to stay away.
The scream I let out when I stub my toe could rival any horror movie scream.
I tried to face my fear of clowns, but then one offered me a balloon and I screamed louder than ever before.
Did you hear about the scream therapy group? It’s a real scream!
I asked my friend if he could scream like a banshee. He replied, “I don’t know, but I can definitely screech like a seagull!”
You know you have a powerful scream when your neighbors use it as their morning alarm.
Why did the ghost go to therapy? To work on its haunting scream-antics.
My neighbors must think I’m a great singer, considering all the screaming practice I do at home.
I told my wife she should embrace her fears. Now she won’t stop screaming.
I went to a horror movie marathon and screamed so much that the security guard handed me a lifetime supply of throat lozenges.
I scream, you scream, we all scream… because we’re in an insane asylum!
I’m a scream therapist – I help people let out their inner banshee.
When the computer screen screamed, it had a virus.
The sound of a cow scream is called a mooooo-ting call.
I scream so loudly at jump scares that I can actually feel my soul leaving my body.
Screaming into a pillow is my way of releasing stress, scaring away intruders, and muffling my singing voice all at once.
Why don’t ghosts ever make good comedians? They always scream up their punchlines!
What do you call a scream that is always telling jokes? A hilarious holler!
I scream, you scream, we all scream because we forgot the lyrics to this song.
My neighbors thought I was auditioning for a horror movie when they heard my shower scream.
I scream, you scream, we all scream… because I forgot to turn off the blender.
My neighbors must think I’m a really nice person, they hear me scream “HELLO” every time I come home.
My scream is the main reason why my family never invites me to play charades.
Why did the scream get a job as a hair stylist? It loved giving people chills and thrills!
Screaming is a great way to lose your voice and gain everyone’s attention at the same time.
The only thing scarier than a horror movie is realizing you left the oven on at home.
Why did the scream audition for a movie? It wanted to make a scream debut!
I tried to join a screaming competition but got disqualified for using a megaphone.
I scream like a banshee when I realize I forgot to plug in my phone overnight.
I never scream during horror movies… I just make involuntary high-pitched sounds.
Why did the scream attend a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to make a killer noise in the kitchen!
Screaming while running may burn calories, but it also burns bridges with people who think you’re being chased by a murderer.
I walked into a quiet library and accidentally let out a loud scream. Everyone glared at me, except for the librarian who handed me a book titled “The Art of Silent Screaming.”
Screaming is my cardio. Who needs a gym membership anyway?
I wanted to tell a joke about screams, but it was too piercing.
Why did the skeleton scream in the library? It couldn’t keep its spine-tingling secret!
I asked my computer if it could scream, and it replied, “Sorry, I can only beep.” Well, that’s not very alarming!
I once scared a bird so bad that it screamed “I’m never flying Southwest again!”
Why did the mummy scream at the tomb? Because it forgot its toilet paper!
Screaming may not solve all your problems, but it’s certainly a great way to vent your frustration.
I asked my therapist if screaming into a pillow counted as a hobby, and now I’m officially a scream enthusiast.
My scream is so high-pitched that only dogs and dolphins can understand me.
What did the scream say to the spider? “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
My vocal cords scream for a vacation after every horror movie marathon.
I scream when I see a salad, not because I hate vegetables, but because I’m startled by healthy choices.
My neighbors probably think I’m auditioning for a horror movie with all the screaming I do in the shower.
I scream, you scream, we all scream when the ice cream truck drives past our house.
I tried to silence my scream, but it just went on a hiatus instead.
I don’t need therapy, I just need a good scream and a bag of chips.
Why did the scream go to the seafood restaurant? It wanted to order some high-pitched shrimp!
Why did the scream refuse to go on a roller coaster? It was afraid of losing its voice on the first drop!
I told my wife she should embrace her inner scream, so she screamed “I’m divorcing you!”
What do you call a scream that loves math? A square root of terror!
I scream so much, my vocal cords have started a support group.
My friend asked me if I could stop making so many scream-related puns. I said, “I can, but it would be a real scream!”
I tried to silence my screams, but they were too loud for even my thoughts to handle.
I’m not afraid of heights, but I do scream when I see the price of a concert ticket.
My scream could be used as a backup alarm for every fire alarm system.
My neighbors must think I’m a fitness enthusiast because I scream every time I see a spider.
The loudest scream in the world was recorded when I stepped on a LEGO brick in the dark.
I scream, you scream, we all scream… because we forgot to defrost the ice cream.
I scream so much, I might as well audition for a heavy metal band.
My boss asked me why I screamed so much during work. I said, “I’m just really passionate about spreadsheets!”
I tried to scare my friend by hiding and screaming “boo!” Turns out, it’s not the best idea when they’re driving.
I screamed “YOLO” at a haunted house, but the ghost replied, “No, you don’t.”
My wife screamed at me for being obsessed with horror movies. I guess you could say she gave me a good “shock”!
My computer crashed and I screamed so loud that my neighbors thought I discovered a new species of dinosaur.
I wanted to audition for a horror movie, but they said my scream was too terrifying. I guess that’s a compliment?
When the scream went to the party, it had a blast!
Screaming is my go-to reaction when someone surprises me with cake on my birthday.
My neighbors scream so loudly that I’m starting to think they’re auditioning for a horror movie.
I scream, you scream, we all scream… because we forgot the ice cream in the car on a hot day.
I tried to scream “YOLO” before jumping off a cliff, but it came out as “YO-AAAAAAAAAHHH.”
My alarm clock wakes me up with a scream every morning. No wonder I’m always so startled when I start my day.
I tried to join a choir, but they kicked me out for screaming instead of singing.
Why did the scream go to the gym? To work on its “high-decibel” muscles!
I asked my doctor if my constant screaming was normal. He replied, “It’s a sign that you’re alive.”
I scream at the gym, not because I’m lifting weights, but because the treadmill seems to be out to get me.
Why do ghosts make terrible comedians? Their punchlines are always a haunting scream.
My scream is so high-pitched, even dogs cover their ears when I open my mouth.
I’m not afraid of ghosts, I just don’t appreciate surprise opera performances in my house.
My neighbors must think I’m an opera singer with all the screams I practice at home.
I tried to join a choir, but they kicked me out because I couldn’t hit the high screams.
I’m so talented, I can scream in three different languages simultaneously.
I don’t scream in horror movies. I yell, “Don’t go in there, you idiot!”
I invited my friends over for a scream party, but they didn’t show up. I guess they didn’t want to “get loud and rowdy.”
Why did the scream take a vacation? It needed to unwind!
I scream at my TV during game shows, as if the contestants can hear me and will change their answers accordingly.
I used to be afraid of roller coasters until I realized the screams were just everyone’s way of saying, “Weeeeee!”
Why was the scream afraid to go to the party? It had a lot of social anxiety.
Why did the ghost go to the scream park? For a little boo-st of confidence!
I’m not a morning person, which explains why my alarm clock wakes up to the sound of my scream every day.
My alarm clock screams every morning, but I’m still not a morning person.
I used to be afraid of the dark, but then I learned that my scream is even scarier.
I screamed so loud in the haunted house that the ghosts asked me for tips on scaring people.
I tried to silence my inner demons, but they just screamed louder.
When I scream, I hit notes so high that even Mariah Carey would be jealous.
My neighbor’s screams are so loud that I’m starting to wonder if they have a career in opera.
Why did the scream go bungee jumping? It wanted to experience the ultimate “scream” of excitement!
I used to be afraid of the dark until I realized my bank account is scarier.
My hairdresser always screams when I ask for a new haircut. I guess my requests are too cutting-edge.
I wanted to tell a joke about a scream, but it’s just too ear-y.
What do you call a scream in the desert? A sand-yell!
I tried to scare my cat by letting out a scream, but she just looked at me like I was crazy. Guess I’m not that intimidating.
What do you call a scream that comes from a cow? A moo-tiful disaster!
Why did the scarecrow become an opera singer? It had the perfect scream!
I tried to join a choir, but they said my scream was too pitchy.
I scream when I see a spider, not because I’m scared, but because I want it to know I’m its worst nightmare.
I scream in my sleep, but it’s just my way of practicing for the daytime.
The only time I scream “I love you” is when I see pizza coming out of the oven.
My scream is so high-pitched, it’s often mistaken for a fire alarm.
I scream so loudly at scary movies that my popcorn pops from the sound waves.
I’m not a morning person. I usually wake up screaming.
I’m not yelling, I’m just practicing my scream therapy.
I scream, you scream, we all scream because the dentist just said “cavity”
My idea of a horror movie marathon is watching my bank account balance slowly decrease. Cue the screams!

Scream Dad Jokes

Scream dad jokes are the epitome of spooky humor that can make you shriek with laughter and cringe simultaneously.

They’re the sort of jokes that are so hilariously awful, they’re actually fantastic.

These jokes are perfect for Halloween gatherings, late-night campfires, or to add a touch of the macabre to any gathering.

Get ready to gasp with laughter!

Here are some scream dad jokes that are bound to frighten the gloom away:

Why did the mummy bring earplugs to the haunted house? Because it didn’t want to hear all the screams!
Why did the cow scream in the library? It saw the udderly terrifying bookshelf!
Why did the werewolf join a choir? Because he wanted to harmonize his howling screams!
Why don’t mummies scream when they get scared? They’re all wrapped up in their own fears!
Why did the skeleton scream at the baseball game? Because he didn’t have any guts to cheer!
What’s a mummy’s favorite sound? The un-wrapping of screams!
Why did the chicken scream? Because it heard the farmer say, “Dinner is coming!”
Why did the skeleton scream in the library? It wanted to scare the words right out of the books!
Why did the scarecrow scream? It just won a Nobel prize for being outstanding in its field!
Why don’t mummies scream? They’re too wrapped up in themselves!
Why did the vampire scream when he saw a ghost? Because it scared the fangs out of him!
Why did the ice cream scream when it got eaten? Because it had a chilling experience!
Why did the pencil scream at the paper? It wanted to “draw” attention to itself!
Why did the computer scream? Because it had a virus and it couldn’t handle the “ah-choo”!
Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his brain and scream abilities!
What do you call a werewolf that makes you laugh? A howl-arious comedian!
Why did the mummy start a band? Because it had a good scream, a coffin beat, and a killer wrap!
Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders? They have a lot of spirit!
Why did the scarecrow scream in the cornfield? It was trying to get ahead in the stalk market!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the crows? It wanted to “caw-mplain” about their behavior!
Why did the book scream in the library? Because it couldn’t put itself down!
Why did the vampire scream when he saw a doughnut? Because he’s a glazer for punishment!
Why don’t mummies scream? Because they keep their voices wrapped up!
Why did the vampire scream when he saw a ghost? It was a case of terror-frighter!
Why did the pencil scream? Because it was sharp and full of lead!
Why did the werewolf open a scream school? To teach other monsters how to howl properly!
Why did the scream go to school? Because it wanted to learn how to be a “scream” player!
Why don’t mummies take time off? Because they’re afraid to unwind and scream!
Why don’t ghosts like to go out in the rain? It dampens their spirits and they can’t scream properly!
Why did the pillow go to therapy? It had too many nightmares and couldn’t stop screaming in its sleep!
Why did the banana scream at the fridge? It saw the apple turnover!
Why did the banana scream? Because it saw the orange juice getting squeezed!
Why did the clock scream? Because it had a second hand!
Why do ghosts always scream when they’re playing hide and seek? They like to give you a little scare!
Why do mummies make bad comedians? Because their jokes are always wrapped in screams!
What do you call it when a scream becomes a dad? A parental advisory!
Why do ghosts enjoy yelling “boo”? It gives them a real scream of delight!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was a scream!
Why did the ghost go to therapy? Because it needed to work through its scream issues!
Why did the artist scream? Because someone stole their Van Gogh painting!
What do you call it when a werewolf screams in the moonlight? A howl-o-scream!
Why did the tree scream? Because it was being a sap!
Why did the ghost go to therapy? Because it had a lot of screams to work through!
What do you call a ghost that only screams once a year? A hollow-weenie!
Why don’t ghosts like to go to parties? Because they always lose their voice from all the screaming!
What do you call it when a squirrel screams? A scream nut!
Why did the ghost scream at the haunted house? It lost its “boo”!
Why did the baby scream when it saw a clown? It thought it was an infant-ile joke!
Why did the clock scream at midnight? It wanted to “alarm” everyone!
What do you call a scream that’s too loud? A big decibel!
Why did the vampire scream at the dentist? Because he wanted to get his fangs checked!
Why did the computer scream at its owner? Because it had a virus that kept popping up with a startling scream!
Why did the tomato scream when it got squished? It couldn’t ketchup with the situation!
Why did the werewolf join a choir? To learn how to harmonize his howls and screams!
What did the big wave say to the little wave? Nothing, it just gave a little scream!
Why did the haunted house scream in the middle of the night? It just realized it was a home for ghouls!
Why did the vampire scream at the dentist? It had a terrible fang-ache!
Why do ghosts make good comedians? Because they always get a good scream!
Why did the snowman scream? Because it heard the snowblower coming!
Why did the ghost scream at the football game? Because it couldn’t cheer for its team!
Why did the ghost scream at the haunted house? It wanted to “spook” up the atmosphere!
Why do ghosts make great comedians? They always have killer scream-timing!
Why do mummies make good comedians? They always have a wrapped sense of humor… and scream!
Why do screams never go on vacation? Because they can’t find a place where they can “shout” in peace!
Why did the plant scream? Because it saw a garden hoe!
Why did the teacher scream at the calculator? Because it was pressing all the wrong buttons!
Why did the tree scream in the forest? Because it had too many saplings!
Why did the pencil scream? Because it heard the sharpener’s blades coming closer!
Why did the golfer scream on the course? He missed a hole-in-one by a “scream” shot!
Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits and makes it hard to scream!
Why did the rock band scream? Because they wanted to make some noise!
Why did the skeleton scream while riding the roller coaster? It had a bone-chilling experience!
Why did the scarecrow scream? Because it heard that corny joke coming a mile away!
Why did the dog scream? Because it got scared by its own bark!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the airport? Because it was afraid of the carry-on luggage!
Why don’t skeletons ever scream or shout? Because they don’t have the guts!
Why did the pillow scream in the middle of the night? It had a “nightmare” about being stuffed!
Why did the ghost scream when it went to the library? It saw all the boo-ks!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling very well… it was screaming yellow!
Why did the ghost go to the party? To show off his boo-tiful scream.
Why did the teacher scream in the library? Because it was a silent “read” alert!
Why did the tree scream in the forest? It was branching out for attention!
Why did the cow scream? Because it had a beef with the farmer!
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist that’s always cluck-ing and scream-ing!
Why don’t skeletons like to go on roller coasters? They don’t have the stomach for all the screaming!
Why did the pencil scream in the drawer? It thought it was being “drawn” to its death!
Why don’t zombies enjoy going to amusement parks? Because they hate the sound of people screaming!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well and kept screaming “I’m in a bunch!”
Why did the golfer scream on the course? Because he sliced his shot!
Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He always wanted to work in a place with a good scream!
Why do witches always scream when they play sports? Because they always have broom field advantage!
What did the mom scream when she found out her son was on a cooking show? “That’s my boy!”
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts? Because they have too many screams and not enough flavor!
Why did the werewolf go to school? To learn how to let out a proper howl-scream!
Why did the skeleton go to the scream concert? Because he had no body to go with!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the football game? Because it lost its straw!
Why did the golfer scream? Because he sliced the ball!
Why did the baker scream? Because he heard the doughnuts are getting iced!
Why don’t vampires enjoy scary movies? Because they can’t stand all the fake screams!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the supermarket? It just realized it didn’t have a brain and couldn’t buy anything!
Why did the ghost go to the party? Because he wanted to have a haunting good scream!
Why did the chicken scream in the library? It wanted to be a loud egg-stender!
Why did the skeleton scream while riding his motorcycle? Because he lost his nerve!
Why did the scream refuse to ride the ferris wheel? Because it didn’t want to be seen “uplifting”!
What do you call a small scream? A yelp!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the golf course? In case he got a hole in one, he wanted to scream “I’m in pants!”
Why did the football team scream during their game? Because the quarterback was a real scream!
Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love!
Why did the ghost scream on the roller coaster? It wanted to make sure it had a ghoulishly good time!
Why did the vampire scream? Because it lost its bat-teries!
What do you call a scream that becomes a musician? A “screamstress”!
Why did the scream go to school? To get his voice higher education!
Did you hear about the actor who could scream on cue? He really knew how to make his audience yell with laughter!
Why did the computer scream at its owner? Because it had a “virus” of bad jokes!
Why did the scarecrow scream in the field? Because it heard the crows cawing!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the cornfield? Because it was outstanding in its field!
Why don’t skeletons ever scream in pain? Because they have no nerves to feel it!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the field of sunflowers? It mistook them for a bunch of screaming yellow fellows!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the crows? Because they were acting fowl!
Why don’t oysters ever donate to charity? Because they are shellfish and only care about their own screams!
Why did the chicken scream? Because it saw a fork and a knife!
Why did the singer scream during the concert? They hit all the “high notes”!
What do you call a group of musical ghosts? The Scream Team!
Why did the clock scream? Because it just went tick-tick-boom!
Did you hear about the guy who tried to silence his scream? It was a sound decision!
Why did the ghost become a singer? Because he had a hauntingly beautiful scream!
Why did the pillow scream? Because it wanted to be heard-cushioned!
Why don’t ghosts like telling secrets? Because they’re afraid of letting out a little “scream”!
Why did the baseball scream at the pitcher? It wanted to “catch” his attention!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the cornfield? It heard they were planning a husk-ination!
Why did the scream wear a seatbelt? Because it wanted to be safe and “sound”!
Why did the soccer ball scream? Because it was kicked in the grass!
Why did the scream go to the bakery? Because it wanted to get its “filling” of pastries and screams!
Why did the vampire scream when he saw his reflection? Because he thought he was transparent!
What do you get when you cross a scream and a joke? Hilarity that will make your sides scream!
Why did the chair scream? Because it couldn’t handle the pressure!
Why do ghosts make terrible singers? They always scream off-key!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner – just scream when you get there!
Why did the painter scream? Because he missed a brush stroke!
Why do ghosts love riding roller coasters? Because it’s a scream-ride!
Why don’t skeletons like to go to scary movies? They just can’t keep their bones from rattling during the screams!
What do you call a frightened dinosaur? A terrifiedactyl!
Why did the vampire scream when he saw his own reflection? He realized he had a bat hair day!
What did one scream say to the other scream? “Let’s make some noise together and scream in harmony!”
Why did the vampire get a job at the scream factory? Because he’s a real sucker for scary stuff!
Why did the ghost go to the party? Because it wanted to scream and dance!
Why did the ghost scream at the computer? It had a terrifying virus!
How does a ghost make a scream sound even scarier? It adds a little “boo”st to it!
Why do witches scream when they play sports? Because they always get called for broom fouls!
Why did the computer scream? Because of all the bugs!
Why did the witch scream when she flew on her broomstick? She forgot to fasten her seatbelt!

Scream Jokes for Kids

Scream jokes for kids are the roller coasters of the joke world—exciting, thrilling, and sure to get a reaction.

These jokes encourage kids to explore the excitement of a little scare wrapped up in a funny punchline, promoting a sense of bravery through humor that’s as exhilarating as a harmless fright.

Moreover, scream jokes for kids have the added benefit of making spooky stories less scary, turning that eerie sound in their favorite book or movie into a source of laughter.

Ready for some spine-tingling fun?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them howling with laughter:

What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream!
Why did the owl scream during the math test? It didn’t give a hoot about algebra!
Why did the skeleton scream at the scary movie? It wanted to add some backbone to the story!
What do you call a monster that loves to sing? An opera “scream-er”!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A hairy situation that will make you scream with laughter!
What do you call a ghost that’s good at singing? A “screamstress”!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the birds? Because they were all a bunch of “tweet-hearts”!
What did the little ghost say to the big ghost? “You’re just a little too boo-tiful for me!”
Why did the scarecrow scream at the pumpkin patch? Because it had a “gourd-geous” view!
Why did the monster bring a ladder to the library? Because it wanted to scream and shout, “Book-a-boo!”
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite that screams, “Brrrrrains!”
Why did the monster scream when it saw a cake? Because it was terrified of the icing!
What is a ghost’s favorite kind of scream? A blood-curdling scream!
Why did the piglet scream at the top of its lungs? Because it heard the sow say “BOO”!
Why did the computer scream at the printer? Because it had a paper jam!
Why did the monster eat a light bulb? Because it wanted a light snack!
What do you call a ghost who screams in a spooky forest? A scaredy-cat!
Why did the witch scream while flying on her broom? Because she forgot to put on her seatbelt!
What did the scream say to the pillow? “I’ll be back… in your dreams!”
Why did the chicken scream at the horror movie? It was an egg-citing thriller!
Why did the vampire scream at the dentist? Because it heard it was going to get a “fang-tastic” checkup!
Why did the popcorn scream? It saw the microwave pop!
What do you call a group of monsters that scream together? A choir of horror!
Why don’t ghosts scream at parties? Because they have no body to dance with!
Why did the banana scream at the ice cream? Because it was being a-peel-ing!
What do you call a monster that screams while playing sports? A soccer-screamer!
Why did the Mummy start a band? Because it loved to hear the crowd scream “Wrap it up!”
Why did the skeleton scream when it saw the monster? It had no guts!
Why did the little monster scream at the birthday party? It couldn’t handle all the noise and excitement!
What do you call a scaredy-cat that screams? A meow-ler!
What do you call a screaming cow? A moo-ving target!
Why did the tree scream? It wanted to turn over a new leaf!
Why did the ghost take singing lessons? So it could scream in perfect harmony!
What do you call a spooky scream that can ride a bike? A “wheel-y” scary sound!
Why did the computer screen scream? Because it saw a cursor moving its way!
Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar? Because she wanted to scream “The drinks are on the house!”
What do you call a scream that is wearing a disguise? A holler-ween!
What do you call a monster that screams in the library? A big “book-a-boo”!
Why did the teacher take the screaming math book to the principal’s office? Because it couldn’t stop yelling “Alge-braaah!”
Why did the mummy always carry a map? Because it wanted to find the best places to scream!
What do you call a haunted soda? Fizz-terious!
Why did the monster scream at the math test? It was afraid of getting a frightful grade!
Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders? They know how to scream and shout!
Why did the ghost go to the amusement park? Because he wanted to ride the rollerSCREAMter!
Why did the banana scream when it saw the monkey? Because it didn’t want to be “a-peeling”!
Why did the cow scream? Because it saw the “moo-vie” star!
Why did the monster take a ladder to the scream? Because it wanted to scream higher!
Why did the orange stop halfway across the road? It ran out of juice and started to scream!
Why did the skeleton scream in the library? Because someone took a book out of his ribcage!
Why do mummies never scream? Because they keep it all wrapped up!
Why did the vampire always scream when he drank his blood smoothie? Because he got a brain freeze!
Why did the scarecrow scream? Because it heard the corny jokes from the farmers!
What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!” *Screams in excitement*.
What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet!
Why did the pencil scream? It got too sharp and couldn’t handle it!
Why did the cow scream at the moon? Because it wanted to jump over it like a moon-cow!
What did the haunted house say to the trick-or-treater? Scream if you want candy!
Why did the vampire scream at the movie theater? Because he couldn’t handle the “fright” popcorn!
Why did the little ghost join the choir? Because it wanted to learn how to scream in harmony!
What did the ghost say to the bee? BOO-bee!
Why did the scarecrow scream in the cornfield? Because it lost its pumpkin head!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the witch scream when she saw a spider? Because she was a real scaredy-cat!
What did the baby ghost say to its mummy? “I want to learn how to scream and fly!”
Why did the clock scream? It wanted to go back four seconds!
Why did the ghost go to the amusement park? For the roller-ghoster! It screamed all the way!
Why did the mummy scream when it lost its way? It got all wrapped up in its own confusion!
What do you call a monster who can sing opera? A scream-ster!
Why did the monster scream when it saw a math test? Because it was afraid of square roots!
Why did the skeleton scream in the library? It had no guts to keep quiet!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a scream? A “terrordactyl”!
Why did the witch scream when she went on a roller coaster? Because she wanted to feel witchy-sick!
Why did the monster scream when it saw a math problem? Because it couldn’t count on its fingers!
What do you get when you cross a cat and a parrot? A creature that screams, “Meowkaw!”
What kind of cats scream “arrrrgh”? Pira-cats!
What do you call a screaming sheep? A yell of a wool!
Why did the mummy scream in the haunted house? Because it lost its wrap-ture!
Why did the skeleton scream at the baseball game? He had no body to cheer!
What do you call a ghost who is great at telling jokes? A scream-writer!
Why was the math book screaming at the printer? It wanted to be multiplied!
Why did the monster bring a ladder to the concert? Because it wanted to scream its head off!
What do you call a monster who screams at parties? A party animal!
What did the little ghost say to the big ghost? I’m not scared of you, so no need to scream your head off!
What do you call a monster that can sing? A screaming sensation!
What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music!
Why did the ghost go to school? To improve his haunting skills and get a “scream” education!
What did one ghost say to the other? Do you want to go out and scream some boos?
Why did the scarecrow scream at the movie? Because it was a real thriller!
What do you call a dinosaur that screams a lot? A fright-o-saurus!
What do you call a ghost that screams in a haunted house? Boo-merang!
Why did the skeleton scream at the party? It heard they were going to “bone-ify” the music!
What do you call a scary movie that makes you scream with laughter? A scream-com!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
What did the frightened pencil say to the paper? “I’m terrified of leaving my mark!”
What do you get when you cross a monster with a scream? A terror-ific yell-o-saurus!
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!
Why did the astronaut scream in space? He saw a shooting star!
Why did the ghost scream at the football game? It lost its voice yelling “Booooo”!
Why did the broom scream? It saw the dustpan coming for a sweep attack!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved and screamed!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music? Soul music that makes them scream with joy!
Why did the monster scream at the ball game? Because it lost its voice cheering for the home team!
What do you call a vampire who is a good actor? A scream-throb!
What do you call a cat that likes to scream? A meow-ster!
Why did the ghost scream into the pillow? Because it wanted to wake up the sheet!
Why did the scream go to school? To get a little “vocal” training!
What do you get when you mix a werewolf and a cat? A scared-y-cat that screams at the full moon!
Why did the ghost refuse to scream in public? It didn’t want anyone to see its boos!
Why did the monster scream when it got a job? It was scared of working 9 to 5!
Why did the mummy scream at the vampire? Because he coffin-ted him!
Why did the mummy scream at the library? Because it lost its “wrapped” book!
Why don’t mummies scream when they get scared? They have no guts!
Why did the baby strawberry scream? It was in a jam!
Why did the skeleton scream at the party? He heard they were having a bone-us round!
Why did the werewolf go to the scream? He wanted to hear some howling good jokes!
Why did the monster scream at the computer? It found a virus and it was very scary!
Why did the apple scream? Because it fell from the tree and got a little “core”ked!
Why don’t mummies scream? They keep their lips sealed!
Why did the vampire scream? Because he stubbed his fang!
Why did the banana scream? Because it saw the kitchen peel-er!
Why did the werewolf scream when it got a haircut? It was a howlingly bad experience!
Why did the witch scream when she played tennis? Because she saw a ghost serve!
What do you call a monster that screams and sings? An oper-ghoul!
Why did the book scream? It saw the bookmark jump out of its pages!
Why did the ghost scream at the vampire? Because he was a real pain in the neck!
Why did the book scream in the library? Because someone opened it to the middle of the story!
What do you call a ghost’s favorite type of music? Scream-o!
Why did the pencil scream in the classroom? Because it saw a sharpener coming towards it!
What do you call a witch who screams at the beach? A sand witch!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a scream? A frightened clucker!
Why did the vampire scream when it saw a rainbow? It thought it was the light at the end of the tunnel!
What did the baby ghost say to its mom? “Don’t scream, it’s just a boo-boo!”
Why did the pencil scream? It was feeling “sharp” pain!
What do you call a chicken who can make scary noises? A “clucktastic” screamer!
Why did the monster take a ladder to the party? Because it heard the food was to die for!
Why did the mummy scream on Halloween? It couldn’t find any more toilet paper!
Why did the werewolf bring a hairbrush to the haunted house? To brush up on its screams!
Why did the scarecrow scream in the garden? It saw a crow eating its cornflakes!
Why did the vampire scream when it saw a spider? It was scared of the web!
Why did the bicycle fall over and scream? It was two-tired!
Why did the drum scream during the concert? Because it was being “cymbal-tically” abused!
Why don’t monsters ever scream when they’re scared? Because they have no guts!
Why did the cookie scream in the oven? It couldn’t take the heat!

Scream Jokes for Adults

Who said adults can’t have a hearty laugh with some good old scream jokes?

Scream jokes for adults are not for the faint-hearted but are sure to get your heart racing with laughter.

They merge wit with a dose of thrill, spinning tales that tickle your funny bone and send a chill down your spine.

Much like a hair-raising horror movie, these jokes blend elements of humor, suspense, and a pinch of wickedness for a laughter session you won’t forget.

These scream jokes are ideal for Halloween parties, campfire tales, or even to infuse some fun into a dull conversation with friends.

Prepare to laugh out loud with these scream jokes that are sure to entertain adults:

What is a scream’s favorite exercise? Yelling-jacks!
Why did the ghost scream at the party? It saw a mummy dancing!
What do you get when you cross a scream and a joke? A hilarious scream punchline!
Why did the horror movie actor never get a standing ovation? His screams always kept the audience sitting!
What do you call a scream that’s been sitting in the sun for too long? A sun-scream!
Why did the mummy scream? It lost its wrap battle.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor? It couldn’t stop screaming “Braaaains”!
Why did the scream therapist lose their job? Because they couldn’t find a silent patient!
Why did the ghost scream into the phone? It heard it had a missed call!
Why did the scream start a rock band? It wanted to be a lead vocal-chord!
Why did the vampire scream when he woke up? He realized he had a coffin ache.
Why did the ghost become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to get a few screams!
Why did the werewolf scream when it saw a dentist? It was afraid of tooth extraction!
What do you call a scream that’s afraid to go outside? A chicken scream!
Why did the computer scientist scream at his computer? He found a bug in his code and it really scared him!
Why did the witch scream at the hair salon? She got a bad dye job and turned into a pumpkin!
Why did the vampire scream at the doctor’s office? He was afraid of getting a stake through the heart!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the cornfield? It heard the corn stalks whispering about popping corn!
Why did the witch scream at her broomstick? It was sweeping her off her feet!
What did the scream say to the horror movie? “I can’t look, I’m covering my eyes!”
Why did the werewolf start a band? So it could howl and scream in harmony!
Why did the Frankenstein monster scream when he saw his reflection? Because he realized he was a real looker!
Why did the scream bring a ladder to the bar? It wanted to reach the high notes!
Why did the ghost go to the party? To prove he’s not afraid to scream his head off!
Why did the dentist scream at the patient? Because they were flossing with a chainsaw!
Why did the scream take a day off? It needed some vocal rest from all the fright!
Why did the scream bring a pillow to the party? It wanted to scream into something soft!
Why do ghosts love roller coasters? Because they can scream their heads off…literally!
Why did the ghost go on a diet? So it could fit into its scream sheet!
What’s a scream’s favorite exercise? “Aaaerobics”!
Why did the doctor scream at the patient with a broken leg? He wanted to get a leg up on his medical career!
Why do mummies never get scared? Because they have no guts to scream with!
What did one scream say to the other at the haunted house? “I don’t know about you, but I’m having a scream of a time!”
Why did the tomato scream in the grocery store? It saw the ketchup bottle and thought it was its long-lost cousin!
What do you call a scream at a haunted house? A voice crack-er!
Why did the lioness scream at her cubs? She wanted to teach them how to roar!
Why did the mummy scream at the museum? It couldn’t find its sarcophagus!
Why did the werewolf start a scream therapy group? Because he wanted to howl his problems away!
Why do ghosts make terrible singers? They’re always off-key and scream-y!
What did the ghost say to the scream? “Boo-tiful lungs you’ve got there!”
Why did the vampire scream at the movie theater? It couldn’t handle the graphic neck scenes!
What do you call a scream that is both terrifying and delicious? A scream sundae!
Why did the cow scream at the haunted house? It saw the moooooooo-vie poster!
Why did the vampire scream at the dentist? Because he wanted to have a good fang cleaning!
Why did the mirror scream at the vampire? It couldn’t reflect on its life choices!
Why did the banana scream? Because it had just been peeled!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the birds? It wanted to make a “crow-d” statement!
Why did the tree scream in the forest? Because it saw a lumberjack with an axe!
Why did the mummy scream when it saw the toilet? It thought it was a sarcophagus!
What do you call a screaming squirrel? An acorn-y!
Why did the dentist scream? Because he found a cavity in his own tooth!
Why did the vampire scream when it saw a cake? It had a frosting phobia!
Why did the banana scream at the top of its lungs? It was being “peeled” by a monkey!
Why did the vampire scream at the garlic? It was having a vampire meltdown!
Why do ghosts scream when they’re playing hide-and-seek? They love to “boo-t” people!
What did one scream say to the other at the horror movie? “I can’t hear you, I’m too busy screaming!” .
What do you call a group of musicians who can only scream? A band-aid!
What do you call a ghost that loves to sing? A screamstress!
Why was the scream always late for work? It didn’t want to alarm the clock!
Why did the skeleton scream at the doctor’s office? It didn’t have the guts for a check-up!
Why did the football player scream at the game? Because he wanted to give his team a pep talk!
Why did the chicken scream? Because it crossed the road and saw a KFC sign!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music? Scream-o, of course!
Why did the horror movie director scream at the actor? They wanted a better “Ahh!”-dition!
Why did the vampire scream at the dentist’s office? It heard it was going to get a root canal!
Why did the scarecrow scream? Because it heard about the birds and the bees!
Why did the skeleton scream at the haunted house? It had a bone-chilling experience!
Why did the ghost attend therapy? It had a haunting scream!
Why did the computer scream? Because it had a virus that scared its bytes!
Why was the computer screaming at its owner? It couldn’t handle the “mouse” clicks!
Why don’t skeletons scream at scary movies? Because they don’t have the guts!
Why don’t witches scream when they get scared? They always keep their composure and cackle instead!
Why did the mummy scream? He just realized he forgot to put on de-wrapped antiperspirant!
Why did the dentist scream during the horror movie? It was a tooth-rattling experience!
Why did the werewolf scream at the moon? It was having a hairy howling session!
Why was the scream so good at sports? It had a killer pitch!
Why did the mime scream? Because he broke his invisible wall!
Why did the dentist scream during the root canal procedure? The patient forgot to brush and it was a real cavity emergency!
Why did the golfer scream? Because he hit a hole in one… literally!
Why did the scream refuse to go to the dentist? It was terrified of root canals and didn’t want to become a screamin’ molar!
Why did the scarecrow become a stand-up comedian? Because he could always make the crows scream with laughter!
Why did the teacher scream at the noisy classroom? She wanted to give them a lesson they could really hear!
Why did the math teacher scream? Because he found out his students were multiplying without him!
What do you call a scream that’s afraid of heights? A terrified yell-a-vator!
Why did the chili pepper scream? Because it was feeling hot, hot, hot!
Why did the scream become an actor? It wanted to be a “scream queen”!
Why did the ghost become a stand-up comedian? Because it could always get a good scream!
Why did the vampire always scream when he saw himself in the mirror? He couldn’t believe he had a reflection!
Why did the ghost scream at the haunted house? It wasn’t boo-tiful enough!
Why did the skeleton go to the scream therapy session? Because he needed to let out a bone-chilling scream!
Why did the zombie scream when he saw a brain? Because it was a no-brainer…he couldn’t resist!
Why did the chicken scream when it crossed the road? It realized it forgot its feathers!
Why did the ghost scream at the amusement park? It wanted to go on the roller-ghoster!
What did the scream say to the joke? “You’re giving me a good rib-tickling fright!”
Why did the vampire scream at the dentist? It was tooth-hurty!
What do you call a scream that’s been told too many times? A cliché-scream!
Why did the vampire scream when it saw a mirror? It realized it had no reflection, and it was a real pain in the neck!
Why did the computer scream at its owner? It caught a virus and needed an antivirus scream!
Why did the zombie scream at the bakery? He wanted a slice of brain pie!
Why did the dog scream at the vacuum cleaner? It thought it was a powerful, barking rival!
Why did the tomato turn red and scream when it saw the refrigerator? It realized it was about to be turned into salsa!
What do you call it when a ghost screams in harmony? A spooktacular chorus!
Why was the scream always broke? It spent all its money on “scream therapy”!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the cornfield? It heard the corn stalk talking behind its back!
Why did the chicken scream at the haunted house? It saw a sign that said, “Freshly fried chicken inside!”
Why did the burglar scream when breaking into a house? The homeowner was a professional opera singer!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the amusement park? It thought it was stuck on a roller-coaster ride forever!
Why did the chicken scream at the comedy show? It heard there were going to be poultry jokes!
Why did the tree scream at the lumberjack? It wanted to branch out and try something new!
What do you get when you cross a scary movie with a scream? A scream-atic experience!
Why did the vampire scream? Because it had a stake through its heart!
Why did the vampire become a singer? Because his screams had killer high notes!
Why did the ghost scream when it got lost? It lost its boo-ings!
Why did the football scream during the game? It got kicked out of bounds and didn’t want to be sidelined!
Why did the scarecrow scream at the cornfield? It heard that corn flakes were after its job!
What’s the best way to make a scream last longer? Put it on “hold” with a telemarketer!
Why did the zombie scream at the bakery? It wanted some fresh brains to go with its coffee!
Why did the ghost get invited to all the parties? Because it could always bring the “scream” to the dance floor!
Why did the computer scream? Because its motherboard had a bad connection!
Why did the chef scream at the onions? They made him cry with their chopped-up tales of woe!
Why did the zombie scream at the bakery? It mistook the bread for its long-lost brain!
What do you call a group of screams singing together? A choir-us of terror!
Why did the cat scream when it saw a ghost? It realized it wasn’t the only one with nine lives!
Why did the haunted house break up with its ghost girlfriend? Because she kept screaming for attention!
Why did the banshee scream at the concert? The music was hauntingly bad!
Why did the banana scream at the refrigerator? It saw the grapes getting squeezed into juice!
Why did the scarecrow scream in the cornfield? Because it had a kernel of truth to share!
Why did the scream go to therapy? It had issues with volume control!
Why did the werewolf scream at the library? He found out it was a howl lot quieter than he expected!
Why did the banana scream at the blender? It didn’t want to be blended into a smoothie!
Why did the scream go to therapy? It felt like it was losing its voice and needed to find its inner scream-phony!
Why did the clown scream at the circus? It was tired of juggling all its emotions!
Why did the librarian scream at the bookshelf? It said it was shelf-aware!
Why did the ghost become a therapist? It wanted to help people with their scream anxieties!
Why do witches scream when they play sports? They always get broom-ed off the field!
Why did the ghost go to therapy? Because it couldn’t stop screaming…bloody murder!
Why did the scream break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the volume of their arguments!
Why did the scream become a chef? It loved to “whip-scream” everything!
Why did the witch scream when she lost her broom? She was swept away with panic!
Why do witches scream when they play soccer? Because they always get a spell-kick!
What do you call a scream that tells jokes? A “ha-ha-haunting” scream!
Why don’t mummies scream in public? They have too many wraps!
What’s a ghost’s favorite scream? A “booooooo!” scream!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including screams!
What do you call it when a mummy lets out a scream? A wrapping roar!
Why did the lion scream at the amusement park? It wanted to ride a roller-coaster!
Why did the haunted house scream when it saw a vacuum cleaner? It was afraid of being sucked up!
What do you call it when a witch’s scream is caught on camera? A scream-capture!
Why did the movie director scream at the actors? They weren’t delivering their lines, they were just screeaming them!
Why did the werewolf scream when it broke a nail? It couldn’t handle the wolf-ing pain!
Why did the vampire scream when he saw a tomato? Because it reminded him of a bloody Mary!
Why did the ghost scream into the pillow? It wanted to keep its haunting voice down!
Why did the mummy scream when it unwrapped itself? It forgot to put on moisturizer!
Why did the computer scream? Because its mouse was being too clicky!
Why did the math book scream in horror? Because it had too many problems!
Why did the skeleton scream in the haunted house? It had no guts to hold it back.
What do you call a scream at a haunted house that goes unnoticed? A good “ghost”writer!
Why did the werewolf scream at the moon? It realized it was a full moon and it forgot to wax.
Why did the vampire’s scream sound so high-pitched? Because he just saw a bat-mobile!
Why did the potato scream in the microwave? It couldn’t handle the heat!
What do you call a ghost who loves horror movies? A scream enthusiast!
Why did the chef scream at the soup? Because it needed a little seasoning!

Scream Joke Generator

Making a scream joke that sends shivers down the spine can sometimes be a real nightmare.

(Do you get the chills?)

That’s where our FREE Scream Joke Generator comes to your rescue.

Engineered to combine spooky puns, chilling humor, and playful phrases, it generates jokes guaranteed to cause a scream…of laughter!

Don’t let your humor become as dull as a poorly written horror flick.

Use our joke generator to brew jokes that are as fresh and captivating as a suspense thriller.

FAQs About Scream Jokes

Why are scream jokes so popular?

Scream jokes are appreciated for their humor that taps into the adrenaline and shock associated with screaming.

They might play on the fear factor, surprise elements, or simply the silliness of unexpected screams.

The thrill-seeking nature of people makes scream jokes a popular choice.

Can scream jokes help in social situations?

Indeed!

Scream jokes can help lighten the mood by bringing in an element of surprise and shared laughter.

They are excellent for storytelling sessions, campfires, Halloween parties, or any situation where a little thrill can be appreciated.

How can I come up with my own scream jokes?

Consider what makes people scream – surprise, fear, excitement, etc. Use these elements in your joke.
Think about situations where a scream would be unexpected or absurd to add a humorous twist.
Use wordplay and puns related to screaming. For instance, play on the dual meaning of the word ‘scream’ (a loud vocal expression and something outstanding).
Use the element of surprise or irony in your jokes. The unexpected often leads to the funniest jokes.
Reflect on popular scream scenarios in movies or books and twist them into a joke.

Are there any tips for remembering scream jokes?

To remember scream jokes, try to associate them with situations where they can be used, such as at Halloween events, scary movie nights, or haunted house visits.

Visualizing the joke can also make it easier to remember.

How can I make my scream jokes better?

The essence of a good scream joke lies in the build-up and the surprise element.

Play on the anticipation of a scream and then twist it into something funny or unexpected.

As with any joke, practice and feedback from your audience can help improve your humor.

How does the Scream Joke Generator work?

Our Scream Joke Generator is designed to spook and tickle your funny bone at the same time.

Just enter keywords related to your scream-themed humor or situation, then hit the Generate Jokes button.

In no time, you’ll have a selection of scream jokes that will have your audience shrieking with laughter.

Is the Scream Joke Generator free?

Absolutely!

The Scream Joke Generator is entirely free to use.

Generate as many spine-tinglingly funny jokes as you want and keep your content full of thrills and chills.

So, get ready to raise some hairs and laughs with our Scream Joke Generator.

Conclusion

Scream jokes bring an eerie excitement to typical discussions, making life a bit more thrilling with each shiver.

From the fast and frightful to the long and spine-chilling, there’s a scream joke for every spooky occasion.

So next time you’re diving into a horror film, remember, there’s humor to be found in every shriek, shock, and scare.

Keep spooking the laughs, and let the good times shriek and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without screams—unimaginable and, frankly, a bit less thrilling.

Happy joking, everyone!

Scary Movie Jokes for Those Who Love a Good Scream

Haunted House Jokes That Will Make Your Scream With Laughter

Horror Movie Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Instead of Scream

Ghost Jokes to Give You a Frighteningly Good Laugh

Monster Jokes That Are So Bad, They’re Scary