660 Stoner Jokes That Ignite Roaring Laughs

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to spark up some laughter with the world of stoner jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the highest quality humor.

That’s why we’ve rolled up a list of the most hilarious stoner jokes.

From pot-tastic puns to ganja-infused giggles, our compilation has a joke for every high and low.

So, let’s light up the laughter with stoner humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Stoner Jokes

Stoner jokes are a unique blend of humor and hazy wit that can make anyone giggle.

They’re not just about the act of smoking or the culture surrounding it, but also about the stereotypical behavior and unexpected realizations that come with an altered state of mind.

From the munchies to memory lapses, stoners provide plenty of comedic material.

Crafting the perfect stoner joke requires a creative imagination, a knack for spotting absurdities, and understanding the experiences associated with being high (like thinking deeply about the universe or forgetting where you put the lighter).

Ready to elevate your sense of humor?

Roll up your laughter and spark some giggles with these stoner jokes:

What do you get when you mix a stoner and a comedian? A “joint” venture in laughter.
Why did the stoner go to the art museum? Because he heard there were really high paintings!
What did the stoner say when they found out they won the lottery? “I’m going to pot Vegas!”
Why did the stoner take the job as a chef? They heard it involved a lot of rolling and chopping.
What did the stoner say when he found a bag of weed in his shoe? “I must have sole’d my sole!”
Why did the stoner become a gardener? He heard there were lots of high times in the greenhouse!
What’s a stoner’s favorite type of cereal? Pot-Puffs.
Why did the stoner put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash!
What did the stoner say to his pizza delivery guy? “Dude, you’re my only connection to the outside world!”
Why did the stoner go to the bank? To get some joint savings.
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the bakery? They got caught rolling dough.
Why don’t stoners ever get in trouble for smoking weed? Because they always have a solid alibi – being high!
What did the stoner say when he ran out of weed? “I’m going to pot-tentially lose my mind!”
What did the stoner say when his friend asked if he wanted to go for a hike? “Nah, I prefer a different kind of “high” adventure!”
What do you call a group of stoners on a hike? The joint venture!
How did the stoner become a successful entrepreneur? They turned their pipe dreams into reality!
Why did the stoner become a chef? Because they heard it’s all about cooking with herbs!
How did the stoner manage to lose his job as a banker? He kept trying to make deposits in the “joint” account!
What did the stoner say when he found his weed missing? “I’m completely jointless without it!”
Why don’t stoners ever take up gardening? Because they can’t resist smoking the pot!
What did the stoner say to his friend who couldn’t roll a joint? “Don’t worry, dude, I’ll help you roll with the punches!”
Why did the stoner bring a weed whacker to the party? He wanted to trim the grass!
Why did the stoner plant corn in his backyard? He wanted to have his own “pot” farm!
How did the stoner feel after smoking too much? He was a little “joint” and disoriented!
What do you call a stoner who’s lost all their weed? A poor decision maker!
Why did the stoner start a dog grooming business? He wanted to specialize in “pooch” and puff!
What do you call a stoner with no weed? An undercover agent!
How do stoners exercise? They use a joint roller coaster.
Why did the stoner refuse to wear a watch? Because he said time is just a high-construct!
Why was the stoner staring at the carton of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate”!
Why did the stoner bring a spoon to the movie theater? He heard there was going to be a high-class dinner.
What’s a stoner’s favorite type of math? Calculus, because they’re always looking for higher derivatives.
What did the stoner say when they found out their favorite band was breaking up? “Man, that’s just a real buzzkill.”
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? He was afraid of getting caught up in a high-stakes game!
Why did the stoner go to the club with a loaf of bread? Because they wanted to get toasted and make some dough.
What did the stoner say when they found their stash was empty? “I’m gonna go pot myself to sleep!”
Why did the stoner go to the eye doctor? They were having trouble with their “high” sight!
How do stoners react when they see a “No Smoking” sign? They think it’s just a suggestion, man.
What do you call a stoner who can play the guitar really well? Jimi Hemprix!
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the hotel? Because he tried to light up in the “joint”!
What did the stoner say when they found their stash was empty? “I can’t weed believe it!”
Why did the stoner go to space? He heard there were some out-of-this-world strains up there!
Why do stoners make great detectives? They always have a keen sense of “high-dration”!
Why don’t stoners ever carry umbrellas? Because they prefer to get baked instead of wet.
What do you get when you cross a stoner and a computer? A high-speed internet connection!
Why did the stoner start a gardening club? He wanted to grow his own “herb” garden, of course!
How do you know if someone is a stoner? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you… eventually!
What did one stoner say to the other at the party? “Weed meet again!”
How do stoners exercise? They joint the gym!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards with his friends? He said he already had enough joints in his hand!
What did the stoner say when he saw a sign that said “420 miles to go”? “I better start walking, man!”
How do you know if a stoner has been using your computer? All of your files are renamed “High.doc.” .
Why don’t stoners like gardening? Because they prefer to keep their grass indoors!
What did the stoner say when he ran out of rolling papers? “I guess I’ll just have to think outside the bong.”
Why did the stoner become a gardener? He wanted to be surrounded by all the “high” quality plants!
What do you call a stoner who is always on time? A chronic “watch” smoker.
How do stoners count their money? High, then low, then high again!
Why did the stoner take a job as a gardener? Because they wanted to work with high plants.
What did the stoner say when he saw his favorite band live? “Man, they really know how to “light up” the stage!”
Why did the stoner refuse to watch cooking shows? Because he couldn’t handle all the pot-ential munchies!
Why did the stoner become a professional chef? Because he wanted to master the art of baked goods!
Why did the stoner bring a pillow to the smoke circle? Because they heard it’s a good way to get a little higher!
Why did the stoner go to the art gallery? He wanted to get “blown” away by some high art.
Why did the stoner become a chef? They heard they could use a lot of “herbs” in their recipes.
Why don’t stoners ever get lost? Because they’re always on a high-way.
What did the stoner say when he found out his favorite pizza place closed down? “Man, that’s a real bummer-ito!”
Why don’t stoners ever solve mysteries? Because they’re always too baked to find clues.
What did the stoner say when he accidentally dropped his joint in the ocean? “Looks like I’ve just reef-er madness!”
Why did the stoner refuse to share their pizza? They said it was too “pot-ular” to split!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the dispensary? Because they wanted to find their way to cloud nine.
Why did the stoner take his dog to the vet? He thought it was acting a little too “dazed and confused”
How do you know a stoner has been cooking? The oven is at 420 degrees!
Why did the stoner go to the bakery? Because they heard they were giving away free pot brownies!
Why did the stoner always bring a pencil to a test? They wanted to draw some high grades.
What did the stoner say when he saw a UFO? “Wow, man, the aliens are really out of this world!”
Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because he wanted to plant trees that were already high.
How did the stoner pass their math test? They used a high-calculator!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the party? Because he heard there would be a lot of high people there!
How did the stoner apply for a job at the bakery? They submitted a roll-ing paper resume.
How do stoners exercise their dogs? They take them on high walks.
Why did the stoner take a ladder to the forest? He wanted to get high in the trees!
How do stoners like their pizza? Extra baked!
What did the stoner say when he saw a UFO? “Dude, I’m so high, even the aliens are blurry!”
What do you get when you mix a stoner and a magician? A person who can turn any joint into a pipe!
How do you know when a stoner has been cooking? The smoke alarm is blaring and nobody is upset.
Why did the stoner carry a clock everywhere? They wanted to be constantly reminded it’s always 4:20 somewhere.
What did the stoner say when they couldn’t find their lighter? “I guess it’s just a bud day.”
Why did the stoner become an architect? Because he wanted to design the highest buildings in town!
What did the stoner say when he ran out of weed? “I’ve hit a joint of no return!”
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the movie theater? He was too baked to find his seat!
What do you get when you mix a stoner and a magician? A poof of smoke!
Why did the stoner become a gardener? He wanted to grow some “high”-droponic plants!
Why don’t stoners ever donate blood? They’re afraid of getting too high.
Why did the stoner bring a car door to the desert? So he could roll down the window when it gets too hot!
How did the stoner break their vacuum cleaner? They thought it was a bong and tried to take a hit!
What do you call a stoner who just ran out of weed? A recreational user.
How did the stoner get promoted at work? They took joint responsibility!
Why did the stoner go to the bakery? Because he heard they had a lot of baked goods!
What did the stoner say when someone asked if he was hallucinating? “Nah, man, I’m just on cloud 420!”
What did the stoner say when asked why he always carries an umbrella? “In case of a high chance of rain, man!”
Why did the stoner bring a spoon to the movies? In case there was some high-class popcorn!
What do you call a stoner who just won the lottery? Joint venture capitalist!
What do you call a stoner who’s always worried about running out of weed? A pot-antic!
Why did the stoner bring a pencil to the party? In case there was a high-stakes drawing competition.
What do you call a stoner who loves gardening? A “weed” farmer!
What do you call a stoner who can solve complex mathematical problems? A high-functioning pothead!
Why don’t stoners ever get lost? Because they always have a joint in their hand to guide them.
What do you say to a stoner who just finished a marathon? “You must be really high on endorphins!”
Why did the stoner become a gardener? He wanted to grow his own supply of high-quality herbs!
How do stoners like their eggs cooked? Baked, of course!
What do you call a stoner who becomes a chef? A “baked” goods specialist!
How do you know a stoner has been to your house? All your snacks are gone and they left a trail of Doritos crumbs behind!
Why did the stoner lose at poker? He was too high to remember the rules and kept folding on a good hand!
Why did the stoner bring a pencil to the party? In case there was a joint (appoint) he had to draw.
Why do stoners make terrible chefs? Because they always get baked instead of cooking.
What do you call a stoner who just finished a marathon? The weed runner!
What do you call a stoner who just got a promotion? A higher achiever.
Why do stoners make great storytellers? Because they’re always up in smoke and mirrors.
What do you call a group of stoners playing hide and seek? Hide-and-stoned.
What did the stoner say when he lost all his weed? “I guess you could say I’m a bit pot-less!”
How did the stoner get out of paying rent? They told their landlord they were living in a joint lease.
What do you call a group of stoners who start a band? The Rolling Stoners!
Why did the stoner become an architect? He wanted to design the perfect “stoner’s paradise.”
Why did the stoner take his parrot to the doctor? Because it kept saying, “Polly wants a bong!”
How do you know a stoner is an excellent driver? They have a joint in their hand and still haven’t spilled anything!
Why did the stoner become a chef? Because they always had a high appetite!
What did the stoner say when they found out they won the lottery? “Weed be rich, man!”
Why did the stoner sit on the clock? Because he wanted to be on high time!
Why did the stoner bring a couch to the party? Because they wanted to get comfortably stoned.
What did the stoner say to the pizza delivery guy? “Do you have any extra herbs? I need to spice things up!”
Why did the stoner take a job at the bakery? He heard they had the dankest rolls in town.
What did the stoner say when he saw a sign that said “420 miles to the next town”? “Whoa, that’s a long way to get snacks!”
Why did the stoner become an astronaut? They heard there were plenty of space joints!
What did the stoner say when he dropped his stash on the ground? “Looks like I’ve lost my pot-tato chips!”
Why did the stoner refuse to pass the salt? Because he was already feeling seasoned enough!
Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because he loved getting high on pot and tending to his plants!
How did the stoner become a famous artist? They had a knack for drawing high praise!
What did the stoner say when he accidentally flushed his stash down the toilet? “I guess it’s time to say goodbye to my high!”
What did the stoner say to their pizza delivery guy? “Keep the change, and here’s a tip: get a job.” .
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards on the grass? He was afraid of getting caught with weed on the lawn.
What did the stoner say to the pizza delivery guy? “Dude, you’re my favorite kind of delivery service!”

Short Stoner Jokes

Short stoner jokes are like the perfect puff of smoke—light, amusing, and guaranteed to make you chuckle.

These jokes are perfect for a quick text, a social media post, or that time when you’re sharing a joint and need a good laugh.

The charm of short stoner jokes lies in their ability to be both hilariously high-minded and light-hearted, delivering laughter in just a few words.

So, light up and get ready to giggle.

Here are short stoner jokes that pack a humorously hazy punch in just a few words.

How did the stoner paint his house? He was always rolling!
What did the stoner say to their pizza? “Weed like to order!”
Why don’t stoners play hide-and-seek? Because no one seeks the high!
How did the stoner describe their favorite music genre? High fidelity!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
How does a stoner exercise? By rolling their joints!
Why did the stoner become an architect? He loved building bonghouses!
How do you make a stoner laugh? Weed out the bad jokes!
How do stoners get their daily exercise? They joint a gym!
What’s a stoner’s favorite exercise? Jogging their memory!
How do stoners exercise their minds? With a joint venture!
How does a stoner exercise? They joint the gym!
What do you call a stoner with a broken bong? A sobeRIETY!
Why did the stoner become a baker? He was always getting baked!
Why did the stoner become an astronaut? To explore higher space!
What do you call a stoner who can’t remember anything? A pot-amnesiac!
Why don’t stoners ever play hide and seek? Because nobody seeks!
Why did the stoner always carry a ruler? To measure high-tide!
What did the stoner say to the hitchhiker? “Weed like a lift?”
Why did the stoner become a baker? Because they love rolling dough!
Why did the stoner become a chef? He loved baking pot pies!
How do stoners exercise? They jog their memory!
What’s a stoner’s favorite weather? High pressure!
Why did the stoner always carry a pen? They were always rolling!
What do you call a stoner who lost his weed? Irresponsible grass-parenting!
Why do stoners make great comedians? They always deliver a high punchline!
How does a stoner exercise? By doing joint movements!
Why did the stoner go to the library? To find some high-brows!
Why did the stoner refuse to fight? He was too blunt!
What’s a stoner’s favorite type of music? Heavy “grass” metal!
What did the stoner say when he saw his lost stash? Bud-lightful!
Why don’t stoners ever get lost? They have a good bud-dha sense!
Why did the stoner take a nap? He needed some high-rest!
Why did the stoner become a baker? He heard they kneaded dough!

Stoner Jokes One-Liners

Stoner jokes one-liners are the embodiment of humor wrapped in a single, giggle-inducing sentence.

They’re the verbal equivalent of lighting up a joint and basking in its slow-burning, mellow coolness.

Crafting a good stoner one-liner demands a blend of creativity, wit, and a deep understanding of the art of crafting jokes.

The challenge is to condense the setup and punchline into a short form, delivering a potent dose of hilarity with as few words as possible.

Here’s to hoping these stoner one-liners ignite your sense of humor and leave you in high spirits:

Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? He couldn’t handle all the high stakes.
I asked my stoner friend if he was good at math, and he replied, “I can count how many times I’ve forgotten my own phone number.”
My stoner friend said he wanted to start a band called “The Joint Chiefs of Staff.” I told him it sounds like a high-ranking group of musicians.
I tried to have a serious conversation with a stoner, but it went up in smoke.
I’m so high, I could be mistaken for a weather balloon.
What do you get when you cross a stoner with a comedian? A “high-larious” jokester!
If a stoner falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does he still get the munchies?
What did the stoner say when they found a bag of chips on the floor? “Score, man! It’s like a treasure from the munchies gods.”
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the dispensary? In case he needed to find a higher power!
I asked a stoner if he wanted to play a game of hide and seek. He said, “Sure, but make sure to count really, really slow.”
What did the stoner say when their friend asked if they were high? “I’m not sure, but I’m definitely up there.” .
I asked the stoner what he thought about climate change. He said, “Man, I’m just trying to get high, not dry.”
Why did the stoner bring a pillow to the park? He wanted to take a trip to “Cushionville.”
Why don’t stoners ever solve math problems? Because they prefer high thoughts instead of high sums!
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure… Wait, what was the question?
My stoner friend asked me if I wanted to hear a joke about time travel, but I told him I already saw it in the future.
What do you get when you mix a stoner and a mathematician? High degrees of calculus!
Why did the stoner always carry a pencil with him? In case he needed to draw some high-lights!
What’s a stoner’s favorite video game? “Call of Doobie: Modern Warfare!”
I told my stoner friend that I needed some advice, and he replied, “Don’t worry, man, I’m all ears… and probably some other random body parts too.”
Why did the stoner become a chef? So he could get baked goods all day long!
What did the stoner say to the pizza delivery guy? “Whoa dude, this box is like a spaceship for munchies!”
Why do stoners make terrible actors? They always forget their lines.
I asked my stoner friend what he thought about the saying “Time flies when you’re having fun,” and he replied, “Nah man, time just gets super slow and trippy.”
How do you know a stoner invented the wheel? Because it’s always rolling!
Why do stoners make great comedians? They always have a lot of pot jokes up their sleeves.
How do you know a stoner is making a phone call? They’re holding the TV remote instead of their phone!
I tried to have a serious conversation with a stoner, but it was like talking to a baked potato.
My stoner friend started a gym called “Bud’s and Biceps.” Needless to say, it didn’t work out… literally.
Why did the stoner enroll in cooking classes? He heard they were offering baked goods!
I accidentally walked into a stoner convention and got a contact high from all the laughter.
What did the stoner say when he found his stash empty? “Weed better find some more.” .
What’s a stoner’s favorite type of car? A convertible, because the top is always down!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards with the jungle animals? He didn’t want to get caught in a high-stakes game!
I asked my stoner friend if he wanted to play cards. He replied, “Sure, but I prefer weedeo instead.”
Why did the stoner take a job as a painter? They wanted to experience a high on a whole new level.
I told a stoner he had a lot on his plate. He replied, “Nah, man, just a lot on my bong!”
What’s a stoner’s favorite social media platform? “Hash”tag.
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? He thought it was a game of “high” stakes.
I told my stoner friend that I’m going to start a weed business, and he said, “That’s dope!”
I told my stoner friend to “seize the day,” and he asked if he could smoke it first.
What’s a stoner’s favorite dessert? Baked Alaska!
Why did the stoner refuse to take the stairs? They were afraid of getting too high.
I accidentally bought a cannabis-scented candle, and now my house gets high every time I light it up.
Why did the stoner go to the concert? To experience a natural high in surround sound.
Why did the stoner start a landscaping business? They wanted to be known for their high grass.
If smoking weed makes you a stoner, then I guess sniffing coffee makes me a Java junkie.
Why did the stoner go to the gym? He heard they had a treadmill that simulated walking through a field of marijuana!
I tried to have a serious conversation with my stoner friend, but he just kept saying, “That’s deep, man.”
Why did the stoner go to the vegetable garden? He heard they had some good “pot”atoes!
What’s a stoner’s favorite type of music? Rock and roll…in a joint!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? Because they were always too baked to shuffle!
I asked a stoner if he believed in aliens. He said, “I don’t know, man, but if they’re out there, they’ve probably got some killer weed.”
Why did the stoner become a meteorologist? They wanted to predict when it would rain munchies.
What do you call a stoner with only one eye? A baked potato!
I tried to start a conversation with a stoner, but all he said was, “Dude…”
Why did the stoner become a chef? Because he loved getting baked!
I’m not lazy, I just have high levels of chillness.
What did the stoner say when they couldn’t find their lighter? “Looks like I’m going to have to spark my imagination.”
Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because he heard it was a great way to grow his own supply.
I asked the stoner if they were a morning person, and they said, ‘I don’t know, I’ve never seen 10 AM.’.
I told my stoner friend to take a break from smoking. He replied, “I’m already on a break, man!”
What did one stoner say to the other at the drive-thru? “You wanna taco ’bout it?”
Why did the stoner become a chef? Because he wanted to be an expert in pot cooking.
How do stoners exercise? They roll out of bed!
Why did the stoner start gardening? They wanted to grow their own ‘high’ quality produce.
Why did the stoner become an artist? Because he heard painting could be a “joint” venture.
I don’t smoke weed to escape reality; I smoke weed to enhance my appreciation for Bob Ross paintings.
Why did the stoner go to the library? He wanted to check out some “high”-brow literature.
What do you call a stoner with two spliffs? Double trouble!
I walked into a stoner’s house and saw a sign that said, “Please don’t smoke, the fire department has been here three times already.”
I asked my stoner friend if he believed in fate, and he said, “I don’t know, man, but I definitely believe in ‘fries’.”
How do you know a stoner invented the time machine? Because he’s always saying, “Let’s go back to the future, man!”
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the movie theater? He heard it was a “joint screening.”
Being a stoner is like being a Jedi, but with a greater appreciation for lightsabers made of Doritos.
What’s a stoner’s favorite type of math? High-perbolic trigon-joint-ry!
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the movie theater? He wanted to explore new “blunt”ers.
A stoner’s favorite exercise? Running out of rolling papers and sprinting to the store.
I wanted to tell a stoner joke, but I forgot the punchline… and the setup… and why I’m here.
I’m so good at rolling joints, I should probably add it to my resume.
What did the stoner say to his buddy who just lit up? “Don’t hogweed, man!”
Why did the stoner take a job at the bakery? He wanted to be a rolling stone(r).
What did the stoner say when he was asked how he stays so calm? “I just weed out the stress!”
I’m not a stoner, but my refrigerator is always higher than me.
How did the stoner describe the shape of the universe? “It’s like a never-ending smoke ring, man.”
What did the stoner say when he couldn’t find his lighter? “This joint is going up in smoke!”
I asked my stoner friend if he was a fan of the movie Inception, and he said, “Dude, I can’t even follow a toaster manual.”
What do you call a stoner who can perform magic tricks? A cannabis-tator.
What did the stoner say to the pizza delivery guy? “Keep the change, man. Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, keep the pizza too!”
Why don’t stoners ever get into trouble with the law? They’re always too high to commit a crime!
How do you get a stoner to stop smoking? Hide the Doritos!
What did the stoner say to their microwave? “I love you, man! You always make me feel baked.”
I walked into a stoner’s kitchen and asked if they had any snacks. They replied, “Only if you count the crumbs on the table.”
Why did the stoner start a band? He thought they could really jam together!
What do you call a stoner who just broke up with their partner? Newly single and ready to mingle… with a bong!
I asked my stoner friend how he stays in shape. He said, “I’m always high on life…and sometimes weed.” .
I accidentally used my stash of oregano instead of weed in my spaghetti sauce. Now it’s high on seasoning, but low on buzz.
Why did the stoner refuse to swim in the ocean? He was afraid of getting tide!
I asked a stoner to solve a math problem. He said, “I can’t count on it, man.”
What did the stoner say when he found out his pizza was vegetarian? “Wait, there’s no meat? That’s just not joint-ful.”
How do you know a stoner has been cooking? The smoke alarm is always going off!
I asked my stoner friend why he loves smoking so much, and he replied, “Weed rather not talk about it.”
My stoner friend got a job at the bakery because he heard they had some great pot-tential.
I told a stoner that life is all about balance. He responded, “Yeah, I’m always trying to balance my bong on the coffee table!”
Why did the stoner become a detective? They were always good at solving pot puzzles.
What do you call a stoner who just got dumped? A weed widow!
What did the stoner say when he found his stash missing? “Looks like someone joint the thievery club.”
I asked my stoner friend why he always carries a ladder around, and he said, “In case the high gets too intense, man.”
What did the stoner say when he lost his weed? “I’ve really gone potless this time!”
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the bakery? They kept asking for extra “pot” brownies.
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the bakery? He kept asking for baked goods with extra hash browns!
Why did the stoner get a job at the bakery? They heard they could make some really “dough”!
What’s a stoner’s favorite type of tree? A “high”drangea.
What do you call a stoner who loves math? A pot-ent mathematician!
What did the stoner say when he found a bag of chips that expired three years ago? “Dude, these are vintage snacks!”
Why did the stoner break up with their significant other? Because they were always too high-maintenance.
What do you call a stoner who just broke up with their partner? Weed need some time apart.
What did the stoner say when he lost all his weed? “Where’s my pot of gold, man?”
What did the stoner say to the pizza delivery guy? “Hey man, you’re like a ninja bringing happiness!”
I tried to introduce my stoner friend to meditation, but he said he prefers “medication” instead.
Why did the stoner start a band with his friends? They wanted to rock the “high” notes.
I told my stoner friend to quit smoking weed. Now he just rolls his eyes at me.
What do you call a stoner with no weed? A huge disappointment to their friends.
I asked the stoner to pass the salt, and they handed me a pepper grinder filled with oregano.
Why did the stoner get a job at the bakery? They heard they had a lot of pot-ential.
What did the stoner say to their pizza delivery person? “Please, no seeds on my pizza, man.” .
I tried to roll a joint, but it turned out to be a wake-n-bake burrito.
What did the stoner say to the talking tree? “Whoa dude, your bark is worse than your bite!”
What did the stoner say when he couldn’t find his weed? “I must have smoked it… I mean misplaced it.”
My stoner friend said he can communicate with plants. I think he’s just really good at talking to weeds.
What did the stoner say after smoking a joint? “I’m on cloud nine and I don’t even own a plane.”
What did the stoner say to his friend who lost his lighter? “Don’t worry, man. I’m always here to spark up your life!”
Why did the stoner bring a pillow to the party? In case he got a little “baked” and needed a nap!
What do you call a stoner who runs out of snacks? A pot-less pothead.
I asked my stoner friend if he wanted to go on a hike, and he said, “I don’t know, man, I’m already pretty baked.”
The only thing I get high on is life… and occasionally a few brownies.
My stoner friend told me he can quit anytime he wants, but for now, he just doesn’t want to want to quit.
Why did the stoner wear two pairs of sunglasses? He wanted to be twice as high!
Why did the stoner take a day off work? He needed to weed out some personal problems!
I went to a stoner’s party and everyone was so high, they thought I was a unicorn.
Why did the stoner go to the opera? He heard they were performing a high note!
I saw a stoner staring at an orange juice carton for hours. Turns out, he was trying to concentrate.
Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the grocery store? He heard they had high prices!
What did the stoner say when he saw a police car? “Looks like I’m about to be joint-custody!”
I told my stoner friend I needed to borrow his phone, and he said, “Sure man, just make sure you don’t accidentally smoke it.”
I went to a stoner party and everyone was having a joint venture.
What do you call a stoner who can’t remember their password? A chronic forgetter.
I told my stoner friend that life is all about balance, and he said, “Yeah, man, like how many joints I can smoke while still maintaining my balance.”
I tried to make a joke about a stoner, but I forgot the punchline… and the setup… and why I was even talking in the first place.
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? They thought the dealer was trying to roll them.
Did you hear about the stoner who got locked in a grocery store? He starved to death surrounded by munchies.
I told my mom I was going to the dispensary, and she said, ‘I didn’t know you were into gardening!’.
I asked my stoner friend if he wanted to go for a jog, and he replied, “I’m already running late for my date with the couch.”
I asked a stoner if they were lost. They said, “Nah, man, just exploring alternate realities.”
Why did the stoner become a gardener? They wanted to work with the dankest buds.
I tried to have a serious conversation with a stoner, but all I got was a lot of high-strung laughter.
My stoner friend said he wanted to start a band called “The Rolling Stoners,” but he always forgets to show up to rehearsals.
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the math class? He thought pi was a type of pie you smoke.
I asked a stoner if he believes in love at first sight. He replied, “Nah, I prefer love at first toke.”
I tried to join the Mile High Club, but they said I needed to be on a plane, not just high.
Why did the stoner become a gardener? He wanted to have a high-yield crop.
What do you call a stoner who’s also a musician? A joint harmonizer.
Why did the stoner become a pilot? They wanted to experience higher altitudes.
What did the stoner say when his joint went missing? “Where’s my high-pot-nuse?”
I told a stoner friend that I was going to quit smoking. He said, “But how will you light your joints?”
I tried to make a weed-infused cake, but it just ended up being a pot-luck.
Why did the stoner bring a weed wacker to the party? He thought it was a grass gathering.
Why did the stoner become a professional chef? They wanted to specialize in “pot” brownies!
I asked my stoner friend if he could roll a joint, and he said, “I don’t know, but I can roll a lemon down the hill.”
I told my stoner friend that smoking is bad for his health. He said, “Yeah, but it’s great for my chillness.”
My stoner friend told me he had a fear of elevators. I asked why, and he replied, “Dude, it’s a high-rise phobia!”
What do you call a stoner who owns a bakery? A pot baker.
I asked my stoner friend if he believed in higher powers. He said, “Yeah, like the pizza delivery guy.”
I smoke weed because my doctor prescribed it… well, Dr. Dre, that is.
I asked my stoner friend how he plans to save money, and he said, “I’m cutting out the middleman and growing my own snacks!”
Why did the stoner take a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
I asked a stoner what his favorite subject in school was. He replied, “Recess.”

Stoner Dad Jokes

Stoner dad jokes are a hilarious mix of light-hearted humor and classic dad joke structure, with a whimsical touch of stoner culture.

They’re the type of jokes that make you laugh and roll your eyes simultaneously, often accompanied by a slow appreciative nod.

These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood at parties, amusing friends during a laid-back evening, or simply making someone chuckle.

Prepare to giggle through the groans.

Here are some stoner dad jokes that are guaranteed to spark a smile:

Why did the stoner bring a spoon to the movie theater? Because he heard the popcorn was “buttered-up.” .
Why did the stoner always carry a lighter? In case they needed to light up someone’s day!
Why did the stoner refuse to share his weed? Because he’s a little too attached to his pot!
What did the stoner say when he ran out of rolling papers? “Dude, I can’t roll with this!”
What did the stoner say when he couldn’t find his lighter? I’m always losing my spark, man!
Why did the stoner go to the gym? To work on their “bong” strength!
Why did the stoner go to the art museum? Because he wanted to see some “high” culture!
Why did the stoner go to the bakery? Because he heard they had some really good pot brownies!
Why did the stoner join a yoga class? He thought it was a great way to practice getting into higher positions!
How did the stoner find his way out of the maze? He followed the scent of pizza!
What did the stoner say when they lost their stash? “I guess that’s just a joint of no return!”
What do you call a stoner who becomes a doctor? A pot-cologist!
Why was the stoner always calm? Because they had a lot of pot-ience!
What did the stoner say when he saw a squirrel? “Whoa, dude, that’s one high-flying acorn collector.” .
Why don’t stoners ever rob banks? Because they’re always too high to make a clean getaway!
Why did the stoner start a band? Because he thought it would be a great way to get high on stage lights!
What did the stoner say to his friend who was upset? “Don’t worry, man. Everything will be a-OK.”
How do you know a stoner is excited? They are always on a higher wavelength.
Why did the stoner study horticulture? Because he wanted to learn how to grow his own “herbs”!
What do you call a stoner who can’t remember their own name? A “weed-entification crisis!”
Why did the stoner become a botanist? They wanted to specialize in “high-bred” plants!
Why did the stoner become a weatherman? Because he always predicted it would be a “cloudy” day!
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the party? Because they heard it was going to be a “lit” gathering.
Why did the stoner bring a backpack to the party? Because they wanted to take a trip to cloud nine.
How do stoners solve math problems? They use a high-calculator!
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the concert? Because he wanted to light up the crowd!
How do stoners exercise? They join a gym and do “joint” workouts!
What did the stoner say to his microwave? “I’ve got the munchies, man. Hurry up and cook my pizza rolls!”
Why did the stoner bring a blanket to the party? In case he needed to roll up in case of an emergency!
Why did the stoner get a pet snake? Because it was a high snake-ability pet.
Why don’t stoners ever lose their keys? Because they always remember to “hash” their thoughts!
Why did the stoner refuse to wear a mask? He thought it would interfere with his high!
What do you call a stoner with an iPhone? An app-stoner!
Why do stoners make great detectives? Because they always have a lot of pot-ential leads!
Why do stoners make great detectives? Because they’re always looking for the joint evidence!
How does a stoner win an argument? They just hit you with a high point.
Why don’t stoners ever get in trouble for speeding? Because they always drive at a high speed limit.
What did the stoner say to their pizza delivery guy? “Can you make it extra baked?”
What did the stoner say when he found a dollar on the ground? “Looks like I’m rolling in the dough!”
Why did the stoner become a musician? Because he wanted to create tunes that could make everyone feel high on life!
What do you call a stoner who only eats vegetables? A “pot”ato enthusiast!
What did the stoner say when asked if he believed in aliens? “Of course, man! They must be the ones growing all those intergalactic plants!”
How do stoners keep their kitchen clean? They use joint compound!
What did the stoner say after getting a promotion? “I’m on cloud nine… or maybe it’s just smoke!”
Why do stoners love gardening? Because they enjoy high-bridization.
What did the stoner say to his friend who didn’t like smoking weed? “You’re just a buzzkill!”
Why did the stoner become a teacher? Because he knew the importance of higher education!
What did the stoner say to the pizza delivery guy? “Hey man, do you have change for a joint?”
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? Because he always wanted to roll a different kind of joint!
Why did the stoner refuse to be a chef? Because he couldn’t handle all the “baking” involved!
Why do stoners make great comedians? Because their jokes always hit a high note.
Why did the stoner start a gardening business? Because he had a green thumb and a green stash!
How do stoners like their pizza? Extra high and with a side of hash browns!
What did the stoner say when they found a pizza under their couch? “This is some high-quality delivery!”
Why did the stoner go to the bakery? To get a little “pot” of bread!
Why did the stoner bring a spoon to the party? Because they heard there would be some “dope” snacks!
Why did the stoner take a ruler to the party? Because he heard they were bringing the high measurements!
How did the stoner become a successful chef? He always had a high taste for seasoning!
Why did the stoner become a comedian? Because he loved making people laugh until they were “higher” than ever!
What did the stoner say when he dropped his joint on the ground? “Looks like I’m going to have to roll with the punches!”
Why did the stoner always carry a map? Because they never wanted to get lost on their journey to “higher” thoughts!
Why did the stoner fail his driving test? He kept turning left when the examiner said to stay in the “right” lane. .
How do you know a stoner is driving? They’re going too slow… in the fast lane!
Why did the stoner carry a ruler around? Because he heard people say “measure twice, cut once,” and he wanted to be extra precise while rolling his joints!
Why did the stoner go to the gym? Because he wanted to work on his joint flexibility!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the party? Because he wanted to navigate through a world of good vibes!
What did the stoner say when they saw a cloud that looked like a joint? “That cloud is really “smoking” today!”
Why did the stoner become a weatherman? Because he loved forecasting a high chance of clouds!
Why did the stoner get a job at the ice cream shop? Because he wanted to be surrounded by “dank cones.” .
What do you call a stoner who just broke up with their partner? “A rolling stoner gathers no moss!”
How did the stoner explain his forgetfulness? He said his memory was just a little “hazy”
Why did the stoner become a comedian? Because he always had the best “weediculous” jokes!
What did the stoner say when he couldn’t remember his password? “I guess it’s too high-security for me.” .
Why did the stoner take a college course on horticulture? He wanted to learn about the different strains of weed!
Why did the stoner refuse to become a chef? Because he was already an expert in baking!
What do you call a stoner who gets lost in a corn maze? A “blazed” and confused!
How did the stoner become a successful chef? They always added a dash of pot to their recipes!
Why did the stoner become an architect? Because he wanted to design buildings that could really get people stoned!
How did the stoner keep their plants happy? They gave them a lot of pot-assium!
Why did the stoner refuse to go to the gym? He believed in lifting spirits, not weights!
Why did the stoner bring a pillow to the party? In case they needed to hit the “high” notes!
What did the stoner say when they couldn’t find their stash? “I guess it’s just another case of joint custody!”
Why did the stoner refuse to buy a smartphone? He preferred to stay in touch with nature, using a joint instead!
Why don’t stoners ever get into arguments? Because they always find a joint resolution!
Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because they love getting high and watching plants grow.
Why don’t stoners ever go to the gym? Because they’re already experts at lifting spirits!
How did the stoner avoid getting lost in the woods? He followed the trail of Doritos crumbs!
How did the stoner get a job as a weatherman? He was always able to forecast a 100% chance of getting baked!
Why did the stoner become a yoga instructor? Because they love getting baked and doing poses.
Why don’t stoners ever lose at poker? Because they always have the best pot!
What do you call a stoner who loses their stash? A weed wanderer!
What did the stoner say to his friend who asked for a smoke? “Sure, man. But only if you promise to pass it back when you’re done… I don’t share my weed lightly!”
Why did the stoner get kicked out of math class? They were too “blazed” to find the right angle!
Why did the stoner enroll in cooking classes? So they could learn how to make pot brownies from scratch!
What do you call a stoner who is excellent at math? A “high-functioning” mathematician!
What did the stoner say to the pizza delivery guy? “Dude, you are my pie-high hero!”
Why did the stoner enroll in cooking classes? Because they wanted to learn how to bake their own goodies.
What do you call a group of stoners playing music together? A “high” harmony!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? Because they thought the deck was too high!
What did the stoner say when they dropped their stash of weed? “Oh well, I guess it’s just a joint venture now!”
How do stoners count money? They use a “high” calculator!
How do stoners make decisions? They just go with the “flow-er”!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the desert? Because they heard there were some really “high” sand dunes there!
What did one stoner say to the other when they ran out of snacks? “We’re in a real pot pickle!”
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? Because they were afraid of getting caught with a “high” card!
How do stoners like their coffee? With a little extra pot-caffeineation!
Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because he wanted to reach the higher shelves… of snacks!
What did the stoner say when he found a bag of oregano? “Looks like I’ve hit the herb jackpot!”
Why did the stoner become a weatherman? Because he wanted to forecast high-pressure systems!
Why don’t stoners ever get lost in the woods? Because they’re always following the trail of munchies!
Why did the stoner become an astronomer? Because he wanted to explore the Milky Way!
Why did the stoner become a chef? Because he always had a knack for cooking up some high-quality meals!
What do you call a stoner who lost all their weed? A “high-atus!”
Why did the stoner become a mountain climber? Because they wanted to reach the highest peaks.
What did the stoner say to his pet rock? “You’re my rock, man!”
Why did the stoner always carry a map? Because he wanted to make sure he never got too stoned and lost!
Why did the stoner get a job at the bakery? Because they heard they would be working with a lot of dough!
How do you know a stoner is a good swimmer? They’re always in the deep end of the pool, trying to find their “high” tide!
What did the stoner say when they saw a rainbow? “Whoa, that’s just nature’s way of saying ‘pass the joint!'”
What did the stoner say to their friend who couldn’t roll a joint? “Don’t worry, we’ll get you rolling in no time!”
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the grocery store? Because he couldn’t stop staring at the cereal aisle, thinking it was a dispensary!
Why did the stoner always carry a map? Because he was always getting lost in the weeds.
Why did the stoner become a chef? Because he heard he could make some killer pot roast!
Why did the stoner always carry a pencil and paper? Because he wanted to get high marks in his joint exams!
Why did the stoner go to the beach? Because they wanted to catch some waves and rays!
Why did the stoner only eat one potato chip? Because they didn’t want to have a “munchie avalanche”!
Why don’t stoners ever get lost? Because they always follow the high way!
Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because they love getting high on their own supply!
Why did the stoner become an astronaut? He wanted to experience the ultimate “space” trip.
How do stoners stay organized? They always have a joint calendar!
Why did the stoner take his pet to the vet? Because his cat was always coughing up furballs of weed!
What did the stoner say when he saw a spider crawling towards him? “Whoa, dude! That’s some serious spider ganja!”
Why do stoners make terrible chefs? Because they’re always too baked!
Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because they wanted to grow their own “special herbs” in peace!
What did the stoner say when someone asked if they wanted to watch a movie? “Pass the popcorn and puff, puff, pass the remote!”
Why did the stoner bring a map to the park? Because he wanted to find the perfect spot to chill!
What did the stoner say to his friend who was worried about getting caught? “Chill out, man, it’s just a joint operation!”
Why did the stoner bring a backpack to the amusement park? He heard they had rollercoasters that were out of this world!
Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because they loved getting their hands dirty with potting soil!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the grocery store? Because he wanted to find the “munchie” aisle!
Why did the stoner become a detective? Because he was always looking for the best clues!
Why did the stoner become a musician? Because he loved playing “Jazz-cabbage”!
Why was the stoner always happy? Because he was always on cloud nine!
What did the stoner say when he found a bag of oregano in his pantry? “This is the dankest spice I’ve ever seen!”
Why did the stoner start a YouTube channel? Because he wanted to share his “how to roll the perfect joint” tutorial with the world!
What do you call a stoner who can’t remember where they left their keys? A pot-ato!
Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the party? Because he heard the drinks were on the high shelf!
What did the stoner say when he discovered a hidden stash of snacks? “Oh, pot of gold!”
How do you know if a stoner has been using your computer? The mouse pad is replaced with a rolling tray!
What did the stoner say when he found out he won the lottery? Dude, I’m gonna be so baked with all that dough!
Why did the stoner become an artist? Because he loves getting “baked” and creating masterpieces!
Why do stoners make great comedians? They always have a good high-pitch-ted sense of humor.
Why did the stoner take a nap on the couch? Because it was high time for a rest!
What did the stoner say when their friend asked for some weed? “Just leaf me alone!”
Why did the stoner invite his friends over to watch a documentary on plants? Because he thought it was a highdea!
Why don’t stoners ever get lost? Because they always have a joint GPS – Ganja Positioning System!
What did the stoner say to his friend who lost his lighter? “Don’t worry, man. I’ll help you find it…after I finish this joint!”
How did the stoner get rid of his headache? He stopped thinking about it and started rolling one instead!
What did the stoner say when he couldn’t find his lighter? “Man, this situation is really sparking my anxiety!”

Stoner Jokes for Kids

Stoner jokes for kids are like the gentle giants of the humor universe – amusing, light-hearted, and always a crowd-pleaser with the younger audience.

These jokes inspire children to toy with language, comprehend the art of puns, and cultivate a passion for humor that’s as solid and grounded as a stone itself.

Moreover, stoner jokes for kids bring in the added advantage of making learning about nature and geology a source of laughter, transforming that ordinary rock in their backyard into a subject of hilarity.

Ready for some good-natured humor?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them laughing over their limestone:

Why did the stoner become a chef? He loved creating culinary masterpieces while baked!
What do you call a stoner who just got a job? An undercover agent!
Why did the stoner become a beekeeper? He wanted to make some buzz-worthy honey!
Why did the stoner go to the dentist? He heard they give out laughing gas!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? He couldn’t deal with the high-stakes!
What did the stoner say to his plant when it started growing taller? “You’re really growing on me, man!”
What did the stoner say when their boss asked if they were high? “No, I’m just really tall!”
Why did the stoner take a day off work? He needed a “joint” vacation!
How do you know a stoner is a good driver? They always stay in the slow lane!
Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the weed farm? He wanted to get a little higher than the plants!
Why did the stoner take his dog to the mall? He thought it would help sniff out the best deals!
Why did the stoner go to the matinee? He heard they were screening “The Joint Locker!”
What did the stoner say when he saw a UFO? “Dude, that’s some intergalactic dank!”
Why did the stoner go to the stadium? He heard they were giving away free joints at the halftime show!
How do you convince a stoner to go camping? Just tell them to “get high” in the great outdoors!
Why did the stoner go to the stadium? They heard there would be a lot of hits!
How do you know if a stoner has been using your computer? All of your icons are in the shape of a pot leaf!
Why did the stoner become a chef? Because he wanted to make some high-quality munchies!
What did the stoner say to his friend who couldn’t roll a joint? “You really need to get your roll together!”
Why did the stoner become an astronaut? He wanted to explore the highest heights… in space!
Why did the stoner go to the beach with a shovel? He heard there was a lot of sand-wiches there!
What did the stoner say when he found out his pizza was all gone? “This is just high-way robbery!”
Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because he wanted to grow his own stash and be a weed whiz!
Why did the stoner become a comedian? He already had a great sense of humor, but now he also had great jokes!
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the movie theater? They wanted to see the plot in a whole new light!
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the movie theater? So he could “light up” during the dark scenes!
How did the stoner quit smoking? Cold turkey just wasn’t high enough for him!
Why did the stoner plant cheerios in the garden? He wanted to grow a cereal killer!
Why did the stoner order a pizza with mushrooms? He wanted to feel more connected to nature!
Why did the stoner become a detective? He wanted to solve the mystery of the missing snacks!
Why did the stoner take up gardening? Because he wanted to grow his own pot of gold!
How do you make a stoner laugh on a Saturday night? Just tell them a joke on a Tuesday!
What do you call it when a stoner gets a pet fish? A high-school!
Why do stoners make good detectives? They’re always looking for the high life!
Why did the stoner start a band? Because he wanted to rock and roll all night and party every joint!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the desert? He wanted to find the highest point!
How do you know a stoner has been in your house? All your snack food is gone and the cat is mysteriously happy!
How do you know if a stoner has been using your computer? There’s Visine all over the screen!
Why did the stoner refuse to go hiking with his friends? He couldn’t handle the high altitudes!
What did the stoner say when they found out they won the lottery? “Finally, I can afford to buy all the munchies I want!”
What do you call a stoner who has lost their car keys? Baked and confused!
Why do stoners make terrible comedians? They always forget the punchline and start laughing before they finish the joke!
Why did the stoner become a musician? He wanted to get high notes!
Why did the stoner become a comedian? He figured he could always make people laugh, even if they didn’t remember it!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the party? So they could roll up a joint and get really baked!
What did the stoner say to his friend who kept stealing his snacks? “You’re really harshing my mellow, man!”
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the party? Because he heard people were getting lit!
Why did the stoner only eat cereal for breakfast? Because it was “high” in fiber!
Why did the stoner take a class in gardening? He wanted to learn how to grow his own stash!
What did the stoner say when he couldn’t find his weed? “I guess I’ll have to reefer to my stash!”
Why did the stoner become a comedian? He always had a high chance of making people laugh!
What did the stoner say when he lost his stash? “I’ve hit rock bottom!”
Why don’t stoners ever play hide-and-seek? Because they always forget what they’re looking for!
How did the stoner respond when his friend asked him if he had any snacks? “Nah, man, I’m all out of pot-tato chips!”
Why did the stoner start a bakery? Because he heard there was a lot of dough in the business!
How do you know a stoner has been at your house? All your Doritos are gone, but your weed is untouched!
How do you know you’ve smoked too much? When you spend 30 minutes looking for your phone… while you’re talking on it!
What did the stoner say to the pizza delivery guy? “Hey man, you got any extra toppings? I’m feeling pretty baked!”
Why did the stoner become a photographer? He loved capturing the high lights!
Why did the stoner start a bakery? He wanted to make “special” brownies!
Why did the stoner plant cheerios? He thought they were donut seeds!
How did the stoner respond when someone asked him if he had any spare change? “Yeah, I’ve got a lot of spare change… in my couch!”
Why did the stoner go to the concert alone? Because he didn’t want anyone harshing his mellow!
What did the stoner say when they ran out of weed? “Dude, I’m herb-less!”
What do you call a group of stoners who start a business? A joint venture!
Why did the stoner go to the grocery store? They heard it was a great place to pick up fresh baked goods!
Why did the stoner start a bakery? He loved rolling in the dough!
What’s a stoner’s favorite dance move? The “joint” and twist!
Why did the stoner become a weatherman? He wanted to forecast the chance of a “high” pressure system!
Why did the stoner refuse to make a cake? He didn’t want to bake it until he was baked!
What did one stoner say to the other when they got lost in the forest? “Man, we really need to stop blazing trails!”
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the bakery? He asked for a bag of “dough”nuts!
Why did the stoner refuse to wear sunglasses? Because they didn’t want to miss out on any high lights!
How did the stoner become a millionaire? He invented a smoke detector that only goes off when there’s no more weed!
Why did the stoner plant Cheerios in his garden? Because he wanted to wake and bake!
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the bakery? Because he was always getting baked!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards with his friends? He was afraid they might shuffle his weed!
How do stoners communicate with each other? They use high-frequency signals!
Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the art gallery? They wanted to reach higher levels of appreciation!
What did one stoner say to the other at the bakery? “I’m getting baked just looking at these pastries!”
What did the stoner say when asked how they manage stress? “I just weed it out!”
Why did the stoner get a job at the bakery? They wanted to roll more than just joints!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he was already dealing with a full deck!
Why did the stoner start a band? Because he wanted to play high notes on his guitar!
Why did the stoner become an astronaut? He heard space was out of this world!
Why did the stoner always bring a map with him? In case he got lost in his own thoughts!
What do you call a group of stoners in a rowboat? A high-sea adventure!
What do you call a stoner who just broke up with their significant other? A high and dry stoner!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the party? So he could find his way back to reality!
Why did the stoner bring a ruler to the party? He wanted to measure how high everyone gets!
Why did the stoner wear two different shoes to the party? They were looking for a different kind of high!
What did the stoner say after taking a big hit? “I’m ready for liftoff!”
Why did the stoner become a chef? They wanted to make the highest culinary creations!
Why did the stoner go to the park with a shovel? He wanted to dig up some high grass!
How did the stoner get out of a speeding ticket? He convinced the cop that his car was a time machine!
How do you know if a stoner has been using your computer? There’s a trail of Cheetos crumbs leading to the keyboard!
Why did the stoner start selling spices? He wanted to add a little extra “herb” to everyone’s life!
Why do stoners never become DJs? They always drop the beat!
What did the stoner say when he saw a police car? “Uh-oh, the fuzz must be looking for my good vibes!”
Why did the stoner become a baker? Because they wanted to make pot brownies their specialty!
Why don’t stoners ever lose their keys? Because they put them in a safe place… like inside a bag of chips!
What did the stoner say when they saw a UFO? “Dude, I think we’re out of this world!”
Why did the stoner enroll in a cooking class? He wanted to perfect his pot recipes!
How do stoners exercise? They go on a high-keto diet!
How do you know a stoner invented Velcro? Because it’s always sticking to their fingers!
Why did the stoner become a chef? He wanted to perfect the art of cooking with herbs!
Why did the stoner refuse to pay their electricity bill? They wanted to keep their lightsaber!
Why did the stoner bring a map to the woods? They wanted to find a higher ground!
What did the stoner say when he accidentally dropped his joint in the pool? “Man, I hope it’s a water pipe!”
Why did the stoner become a chef? Because they loved working with pot in the kitchen!
What did the stoner say when he found his stash was missing? “Oh no, weed better find it!”
Why did the stoner go to the dentist? He had a bad case of “cottonmouth”!
What did the stoner say when they found out they won the lottery? “I guess I’m rolling in dough now!”
Why did the stoner only listen to reggae music? He couldn’t handle any other genre, it was too much of a buzzkill!
How do you know a stoner is in love? They always have a joint in their partner!
Why did the stoner bring a flashlight to the party? They wanted to shed some light on the subject…or maybe just find their stash!
What did the stoner say when his pizza delivery took too long? “Man, this is taking forever… I’m getting baked without the pizza!”
Why did the stoner bring a pencil to the party? In case they wanted to draw a blank!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards with the jungle animals? He heard they were always dealing with cheetahs!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards with his friends? He didn’t want to deal with any high stakes!
Why did the stoner become a chef? They love experimenting with all kinds of herbs!
How did the stoner pass his math test? He counted the number of times he got high instead!
How do you know a stoner has been using your computer? The screen saver is just a bunch of rolling papers!
Why did the stoner bring a pillow to the party? In case he wanted to take a quick high-nap!
What do you call a stoner who just got out of a hot tub? Baked and steamy!
Why did the stoner buy a house in the mountains? He wanted to be closer to the “high” life!
How does a stoner like his pizza? Baked, man!
Why did the stoner take his TV to the beach? He wanted to watch “The Big Lebowski” in widescreen!
Why did the stoner go to the bakery? He wanted to get a little dough… and some cookies too!
Why did the stoner take their TV for a walk? They wanted to watch “Weednesday” in high definition!
What do you call a stoner who just got a promotion at work? A higher-up executive!
Why was the stoner afraid of elevators? He didn’t want to get high on the way up!
What do you call a stoner with two lighters? A fire hazard!
How do you know if a stoner has been using your computer? There’s an empty bag of chips in the CD tray!
What do you get when you cross a stoner and a fashion designer? High-end clothing!
Why did the stoner start a band with their plants? They wanted to make rock and roll-iuana!
Why did the stoner become a chef? He heard there would be a lot of “high” cuisine!
Why did the stoner refuse to use elevators? He preferred taking higher flights!
Why did the stoner refuse to play cards? He always got too high!
Why did the stoner get kicked out of the grocery store? He couldn’t find the self-checkout line…
Why did the stoner become a gardener? He loves getting high in more ways than one!
Why do stoners make terrible doctors? They always have trouble finding your joint!
Why did the stoner open a bakery? He wanted to make some high-quality baked goods!
Why did the stoner bring a pillow to the party? Because he wanted to roll up in style!

Stoner Joke Generator

Lighting up a good stoner joke can be a real trip.

(Did you catch the pun?)

That’s why our FREE Stoner Joke Generator is here to take you on a laughter journey.

Infused with witty wordplay, high humor, and 420-friendly phrases, it sparks jokes that are sure to fire up your funny bone.

Don’t let your humor go up in smoke.

Use our joke generator to roll out jokes that are as lively and entertaining as your best high anecdotes.

FAQs About Stoner Jokes

Why are stoner jokes so popular?

Stoner jokes are popular because they tap into a cultural stereotype, often using irony and absurdity to generate humor.

They are relatable to a broad audience, not just those who enjoy cannabis, and often revolve around universal themes such as forgetfulness, the munchies, or funny observations.

Can stoner jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Stoner jokes are a great way to lighten the mood, break the ice, or establish common ground.

They are fun, often harmless, and can be a great conversation starter or icebreaker in a variety of social settings.

How can I come up with my own stoner jokes?

Understand the common stereotypes about stoners—such as forgetfulness, intense hunger (the munchies), or deep philosophical thoughts.
Familiarize yourself with the lingo associated with cannabis culture (e.g., bong, joint, 420). Look for homophones, puns, or interesting phrases involving these words.
Consider the setting of your joke. Is it a chill hangout session? A surprise encounter with a non-stoner? Tailor your humor to match this vibe.
Try adapting well-known sayings or phrases to include elements of stoner culture.
Don’t be afraid to play with words and phrases. Stoner jokes often rely on puns and wordplay!

Are there any tips for remembering stoner jokes?

Associating stoner jokes with relevant situations or contexts can be helpful in remembering them.

For example, you might remember a joke about the munchies while eating pizza or a joke about forgetfulness when you misplace your keys.

How can I make my stoner jokes better?

The best stoner jokes have an element of surprise and play on common themes in unexpected ways.

Practicing your timing and delivery can also greatly enhance the humor.

Don’t be afraid to experiment and see what gets the best laughs!

How does the Stoner Joke Generator work?

Our Stoner Joke Generator is your instant source of stoner humor.

Just type in relevant keywords or phrases, hit the Generate Jokes button, and get ready for a laugh.

It’s designed to deliver clever and amusing stoner jokes at your fingertips.

Is the Stoner Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Stoner Joke Generator is totally free to use!

You can generate countless jokes to keep your content fresh, funny, and entertaining.

Feel free to spread the laughter and share these jokes with your friends.

Conclusion

Stoner jokes serve as the ultimate lighter-upper, adding a hilarious twist to everyday conversations and making each moment a bit more amusing.

From the short and sharp to the lengthy and laughter-evoking, there’s a stoner joke for every occasion.

So the next time you’re sparking up, remember, there’s humor to be found in every puff, pass, and munchies run.

Keep fanning the flames of hilarity, and let the good times blaze and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without weed—unthinkable and, honestly, a bit less chill.

Happy joking, everyone!

Bong Jokes That Will Light Up Your Humor

Munchies Jokes That Hit the Spot

420 Jokes for a Dank Good Time

Blunt Jokes to Roll with Your Friends

Weed Jokes That Will Get You High on Laughter