1007 Takeaway Jokes to Share Over Pizza and Pasta

If you’ve landed here, you’re ready to delve into the realm of takeaway jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the top notch, sizzling ones.

That’s why we’ve cooked up a menu of the most amusing takeaway jokes.

From scrumptious puns to spicy one-liners, our collection caters to every flavor of humor.

So, let’s plunge into the sizzling wok of takeaway humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Takeaway Jokes

Takeaway jokes have a special flavour that can spice up any conversation or occasion.

They’re not just about fast food, but also the experiences and situations surrounding it.

From the late-night cravings to the indecisiveness over what to order, takeaways provide an enormous platform for comedy.

The best takeaway jokes involve a play on words, unexpected punchlines, and the universal truths of takeaway cuisine (like the mystery of how a simple burger can become gourmet when you add a slice of pickle).

Ready to add some zest to your day?

Dive into a feast of hilarity with these takeaway jokes:

Why did the takeaway refuse to serve the computer programmer? Because he couldn’t find the “any” key!
What did the customer say to the waiter at the Chinese takeaway? Wonton more joke?
What did the sushi say to the takeaway box? “Wasabi-yo waiting for?”
Why did the sandwich refuse to go to the takeaway? It was already stuffed!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start a band? Because they wanted to deliver some great beats!
Why did the spaghetti go to the takeaway? It was “sauced” with eating at home.
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a math teacher? To teach the fries how to count correctly.
Why did the takeaway chicken go to school? To get a little breading.
Why did the food critic visit the takeaway so often? He just couldn’t take a break from eating!
Why did the fish order a takeaway? It didn’t want to be “scaled” with cooking at home.
Why did the takeaway restaurant go broke? They couldn’t make enough “cents” out of their business!
Why did the hot dog get invited to the takeaway party? Because it knew how to mustard up some fun!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a stand-up comedian? Because they always had a great delivery of punchlines!
Why did the takeaway restaurant have good grades? It knew how to deliver excellence.
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a chicken as a cashier? Because it could handle the bills and the wings!
Why did the French fry get an A+ in school? It was always at the head of its takeaway!
What did the sushi say to the pizza when they went on a date? Let’s take this relationship away to-go.
What do you call a burger who wins a race? The fast food!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the takeaway restaurant? It couldn’t resist the crispy temptation.
What do you call a takeaway that sells shoes? A sole food restaurant!
Why did the takeaway chef become a magician? Because he could always make the food disappear!
What did the sandwich say to the pizza at the takeaway party? You’re a pizza my heart!
Why did the french fries start a band? They wanted to be a part of the takeaway music scene!
Why did the pizza maker get a promotion at the takeaway? Because he kneaded the dough.
What did the sushi say to the takeaway menu? “I’m raw-ther hungry!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering Thai food? Because they wanted to stir things up a bit!
Why did the sandwich go to the casino? It wanted to roll the dice and take away some chips!
Why did the sandwich go to the gym? It wanted to get shredded before being taken away!
Why did the pizza go to the party? Because it was a good slice to take away!
What did the pasta say to the pizza when it was late for their takeaway date? “Sorry, I’m a little saucy!”
Why did the sushi chef start a takeaway business? Because he knew he’d always roll in the dough!
What did the chicken say to the pizza? Let’s wing it and order some takeaway!
Why did the burger bring an umbrella to the takeaway restaurant? Because it heard there would be a chance of battering!
What did the hot dog say to the takeaway? “You’re the wurst, but I relish you!”
Why don’t scientists trust takeaways? Because they are always carrying out experiments!
Why did the ice cream go to the takeaway restaurant? It wanted to chill out and get a scoop of happiness to go.
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a marathon runner? Because he wanted to show that fast food can still be healthy!
Why did the hot dog refuse to be included in the takeaway order? It didn’t want to be a “wiener to-go!”
Why did the fish refuse to eat at the seafood takeaway? Because it had already seen the menu and thought it was too fishy!
Why did the French fry go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling chipper after being left in the takeaway bag for too long!
Why did the burrito break up with the takeaway? It said it needed some “wrap-time” alone!
Why did the pizza go to the party? It wanted to have a slice of the fun and take away all the attention!
What did the spaghetti say to the pizza? “You’re a saucy takeaway!”
What did the spaghetti say to the meatballs at the end of the dinner? I’ll wrap you up and take you away for leftovers.
What did the pizza say to the customer at the takeaway? “I’ll be here ‘pie’-ting for you!”
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway restaurant? To find out which came first, the chicken or the takeaway!
Why did the sushi go to the takeaway restaurant? It heard they had great “raw”-l options!
What did the takeaway say to the impatient customer? “Sorry for the wait, it’s just that our food is too good to be served quickly!”
Why did the takeaway chef always win at poker? He had a great poker-chip dip recipe!
What do you call a takeaway that loves to dance? A salsa-lad!
What did the soda say to the takeaway? “I can’t cola” you, you’re too fizzy!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a math professor? Because they needed someone who could “count” on their customers!
Why did the sushi get kicked out of the takeaway restaurant? It was too “fishy”!
What did the takeaway say to the hungry customer? “I’m here to taco ’bout your order!”
Why did the hot dog refuse to go on a date? It was scared of getting taken away!
What do you call a fish that delivers takeaway? A delivery sole!
Why did the sandwich break up with its partner? They just couldn’t find common takeaways!
Why did the takeaway chef get a promotion? Because he knew how to curry favor with the customers!
Why did the chicken cross the road to the takeaway joint? Because it heard they had a clucking good deal on wings!
Why did the salad go to the therapist? It had trouble letting go of takeaway cravings!
What do you call a burger that you take away in a hurry? Fast food!
Why did the pizza go to the party? Because it knew how to deliver a good time!
What did the taco say to the quesadilla at the takeaway? “You’re nacho average dish!”
Why did the burger refuse to go on a takeaway order? It didn’t want to be a part of a “drive-thru”!
Why did the hamburger bring a calculator to the takeaway? It wanted to crunch some numbers!
Why did the pizza go to school? To get a slice of education to take away!
Why did the chicken become a delivery driver? It wanted to have a takeaway job.
What do you call a takeaway that only sells bread? A flan of action!
Why did the takeaway deliver a pizza to the zoo? Because the lion ordered a pepperoni!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a comedian? Because they could always dish out the laughs.
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway restaurant? Because it heard it had the best peck-up service!
What did the ice cream say to the soda? Let’s float away and grab some takeaway!
What do you call a takeaway meal that’s afraid of the dark? Chicken “tender” and fries!
Why did the takeaway restaurant have a lot of customers? Because it always delivered tasty puns with every order!
What do you call a cheeseburger that you can’t take away? A “lunch-trapped” burger!
Why did the burrito bring a ladder to the takeaway? It wanted to reach the top of the food chain!
What did the ice cream say to the milkshake at the takeaway? You shake me up, baby!
Why did the donut go to the takeaway restaurant? It wanted to be filled with deliciousness!
What did the hamburger say to the hot dog at the takeaway restaurant? “You’re on a roll!”
Why did the fries go to the takeaway doctor? They were feeling a little salt!
Why did the hamburger go to the gym? To get better buns!
What did one takeaway container say to the other? “I’m feeling saucy today, let’s ketchup later!”
Why did the sushi roll refuse to go on a takeaway order? It didn’t want to be “rolled up” in the wrong hands!
What did the ice cream say to the takeaway? “You’re so cool, I scream for you!”
Why did the burger go to the gym? It wanted to take away some extra pounds!
What did the pizza say to the salad at the takeaway? Let’s get saucy together!
What did the hot dog say when it won the lottery? “I relish this moment, it’s a real take-home win!”
What do you call a food that is always in a hurry? A fast food takeaway.
What did the taco say to the burrito? Let’s spice things up and go for takeaway!
Why did the sushi chef bring a flashlight to the takeaway restaurant? In case they needed to light up the raw-l!
What did the takeaway say to the customer who complained about their food being cold? Sorry, it’s just a chili reception!
What did the sushi say to the customer who wanted a refund? Sorry, we don’t do take-backs on takeaways.
Why did the takeaway restaurant get into the catering business? They wanted to “take away” the stress of party planning for their customers!
What do you call a takeaway that only serves seafood? A fish and chips off the old block!
Why did the chicken get a job at the takeaway? It wanted to make an egg-cellent career move.
What do you call a burger that can sing? A croonchy roll!
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway restaurant? It heard the food was a-cluckin’ good!
Why did the takeaway start offering free wi-fi? So customers could order online without leaving the restaurant!
Why did the takeaway have a bad sense of humor? Because it always gave cheesy jokes with its pizza!
Why did the pizza go to the party? Because it wanted to have a good time with its crusty friends!
Why did the sandwich go to the takeaway joint? Because it heard they had great bread reviews!
Why was the takeaway always happy? It always got a good tip!
Why did the Chinese takeout fall asleep? It was feeling a bit too wok-tired!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start serving breakfast? Because they wanted to “wake and take” with their customers!
What did the sushi roll say to the customer at the takeaway? “Wasabi coming back!”
What did the French fries say to the hamburger at the takeaway restaurant? “You’re always sizzling hot!”
What did the sandwich say when it was picked up for takeaway? “Wrap me up and let’s roll!”
What do you call a food that comes to your house without an invitation? Takeaway uninvited!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a math teacher? Because they wanted someone to help with the “subtracting” of food orders!
Why did the takeaway chef go to jail? He was caught battering fish!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Why did the chicken refuse to order takeaway? It was tired of being “cooped” up!
What do you call a stolen takeaway meal? A food-napping!
Why don’t ghosts like ordering takeaway? Because they can’t handle the delivery scares!
Why did the hot dog get a job at the takeaway place? It wanted to “ketchup” on bills!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
Why did the takeaway restaurant’s phone go to therapy? It had too many missed calls.
Why was the takeaway restaurant so popular among musicians? It had great ‘takeout’ options for bands!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a dog? Because it wanted a delivery dog that could fetch all the orders!
What did the burger say to the onion rings at the takeaway party? “You’re my favorite side-ring!”
Why did the hot dog need a loan from the takeaway? It was a little short on mustard.
Why did the donut decide to open a takeaway shop? It wanted to provide a hole lot of deliciousness to people on the go.
How do you make a waiter at a takeaway laugh? Just give them a gratuity!
Why did the pizza go to the party alone? It didn’t want to share the takeaway.
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway restaurant? To prove it wasn’t just a “side-chick”!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway? To get a little exercise before being eaten!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a clown? Because they needed a good delivery!
Why was the takeaway chef always so calm? Because he knew how to wok it out!
Why did the pizza get a job at a restaurant? It wanted to make some dough for takeaway!
What do you call a fish who owns a takeaway restaurant? A sushi-preneur!
Why did the hamburger go to the gym? It wanted to be a takeaway beefcake!
What did the pizza say to the hamburger at the takeaway restaurant? “You’re looking saucy today!”
Why did the pizza go to school? To get better grades in takeaways.
What did one burger say to the other at the takeaway? “We should ketchup later!”
Why did the burrito start a food delivery service? Because it wanted to bring joy and takeaways to people’s doors.
Why was the sushi always happy at the takeaway? Because it always got to roll out!
What did the takeaway say to the customer who couldn’t decide what to order? “Don’t worry, take your time, our food is always worth the wait!”
Why did the French fry go to therapy? It had an existential crisis about being taken away from its potato family!
What did the customer say to the takeaway owner after eating a delicious meal? “That was a wrap-turous experience!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner go to the doctor? Because they had too many “delivery” problems!
Why did the takeaway restaurant cross the road? To deliver food on the other side!
Why did the pizza go to the takeaway? Because it couldn’t find a delivery driver who kneaded the dough!
What do you call it when a takeaway order gets lost? A “delivery-cation”!
Why did the burrito start a food fight? It wanted to prove it was the ultimate takeaway!
Why did the Chinese takeaway hire a comedian as a chef? Because they wanted to spice up their dishes with some “laughing” flavors!
Why did the sandwich break up with the soup? It wanted to take away the heat in their relationship!
Why did the french fries break up with the burger? It just couldn’t ketchup to its expectations!
Why did the French fry go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit under the weather.
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway restaurant? To get some eggs-tra spicy wings!
What did the burrito say to the taco? “I’m going to take you away from all this beef!”
Why was the burger at the takeaway joint feeling down? Because it was feeling a bit sauced.
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a chef with big feet? Because they needed someone who could really kick up a stir-fry!
What do you call a sandwich that tells jokes? A takeaway comedian.
Why did the takeaway restaurant offer a discount on sushi? Because they wanted to roll out a special deal!
Why did the french fries go to the doctor after being served as a takeaway? They were feeling a bit ‘salty’!
Why did the burrito get promoted at the takeaway? Because it was always wrapped up in its work!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
What did the customer say to the takeaway owner who forgot the fries? “You’ve really “frenched” up this order!”
What did the sushi say to the hamburger at the takeaway restaurant? “Wasabi, dude?”
Why did the pizza takeout place start offering delivery? Because they wanted to “slice” their way into more customers’ hearts!
What did the fried rice say to the noodles at the takeaway? “You stir-fry me crazy!”
Why did the bread go to the takeaway restaurant? It wanted to get toasted!
Why did the pizza refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to be taken away by hungry guests.
What did the takeaway employee say when asked for the secret recipe? “It’s classified information, but I can tell you it’s a take-out of this world!”
Why did the French fries never get invited to the takeaway party? They always got chipped off the guest list!
Why did the takeaway restaurant become a sponsor for a soccer team? Because they wanted to be known for their great delivery skills on and off the field!
Why did the takeaway restaurant get a dog? Because they wanted to attract more takeout customers with puppy eyes!
What did the salad say to the customer at the takeaway? “Lettuce take you to a healthier place!”
Why did the soda get a job at the takeaway joint? It wanted to “pop” in for work!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a ghost? They needed someone to boo-st the sales!
Why did the sushi break up with the fish and chips? They had too many disagreements on whether to fry or roll!
What did the to-go coffee say to the customer? “Take me away, I’m brewing up a good time!”
Why did the takeaway get an electrician to fix their sign? Because it wasn’t very bright!
Why did the hot dog get a job at a fast-food restaurant? It wanted to be a takeaway expert.
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway? To get a little “peking” into its life.
Why did the french fries break up with the hot dog? They said it was too much to ketchup with.
What do you get when you cross a takeaway and a library? A shhh-awarma!
Why did the computer order a takeaway? It didn’t want to catch a virus from cooking at home!
What did the pizza say when it won the lottery? “I’m a “slice” above the rest!”
Why did the French fries break up with the hamburger? They said it was too much of a takeaway relationship.
Why did the Chinese restaurant owner go broke? He couldn’t make enough wok!
Why did the Chinese food takeout container break up with its lid? They just couldn’t close the deal!
Why did the ice cream go to the doctor? It wanted a takeaway prescription for happiness.

Short Takeaway Jokes

Short takeaway jokes are like the best kind of fast food—quick, satisfying, and leaving you wanting more.

These jokes are perfect for a quick chuckle on social media, a funny ice breaker on a date, or as a witty response when someone asks what’s for dinner.

The magic of short takeaway jokes lies in their ability to be both rib-tickling and relatable, providing a hearty laugh in just a few words.

So, ready to feast on some humor?

Here are short takeaway jokes that deliver a fast and filling laugh in just a blink.

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
Why did the hotdog open a takeaway restaurant? It relished the idea!
Why did the takeaway chef become a boxer? He always delivers!
Why did the chef get kicked out of the takeaway restaurant?
What do you call a takeaway that’s always cold? A chilly delivery!
Sorry, but we can’t grate your request!
Why did the scarecrow get a takeaway? He heard it was cornvenient!
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
Because they wanted to make their food disappear in your mouth!
Why did the pizza maker become a takeaway driver?
Because he wanted to deliver a punchline with every order!
Why did the takeaway chef wear sunglasses?
Because he wanted to deliver cheesy jokes!
A plaice to go!
Why was the math book always ordering takeout? It couldn’t solve problems!
What do you call a takeaway joke? A pun to-go!
Why did the scarecrow never order takeaway? He preferred home-grown meals!
What did the takeaway say to the hungry customer? Lettuce feed you!
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
Why did the takeaway restaurant open next to the gym?
What do you call a fish that delivers takeaways? A cod courier!
Because they always bring home the plaice!
Why did the takeaway refuse to serve the baker? They kneaded dough-livery!
What’s a takeaway’s favorite type of music? Wrap music!
Why did the takeaway restaurant offer a discount to fishermen?
What do you call a takeaway that’s always closed? A missed steak!
Why don’t takeaways ever get lost? Because they always know the way!
What do you call a takeaway that’s always on time? Punctualicious!
Why did the takeaway attend therapy? It was feeling saucy!
Why did the scarecrow bring a takeaway menu? He wanted straw-fried rice!
Because he couldn’t make up his mince!
What’s a takeaway’s favorite sport? Takeaway boxing!
Sir, we donut care!
Why did the scarecrow bring a takeaway menu to the field?
Because they wanted to take their service to new heights!
What do you call a burrito that tells jokes? A funny wrap!
Because it wanted to roll with the times!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they take everything away!
What do you call a burger that steals? A patty larceny!
Why did the takeout chicken cross the road? To be delivered!
Because it heard the food was poultry in motion!
Why did the fries never share? They were always too takeaway-ish!
Because he could always deliver a good punchline!
What do you call a bear that steals food? Takeaway-naise!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a mathematician? They wanted more order!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start selling sushi?
What do you call a takeaway that plays the guitar? A strum-and-curry!
Why did the takeaway close? It couldn’t make any dough!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
Because he could make food disappear in an instant!
What did the sandwich say to the burger? Let’s take this to-go!
Why did the sushi roll cross the road? To deliver a takeaway!
Because his food was too hot to handle!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a comedian?
What did the burger say to the takeaway? I’m lovin’ it, to-go!
Why was the takeaway always happy? It loved to be boxed up!
Because he wanted to have a corn-venient meal!
What did the math book say to the pencil? I have problems.
Because they needed someone to count the chicken wings!
Because it was fry-day the 13th!
Why don’t bicycles stand up on their own? They are two-tired!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start delivering pizzas by helicopter?
What do you call a fish that’s been wrapped up? A takeaway!
Why did the takeaway get an award? It always takes the cake!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
What do you call a stolen math problem? A take-away equation!

Takeaway Jokes One-Liners

One-liner takeaway jokes are the epitome of humor, packed into a single, edible sentence.

They’re the verbal equivalent of a hot, scrumptious takeaway meal, ready to be savored – quick, delicious, and simply gratifying.

Creating a good one-liner calls for a blend of ingenuity, precision, and a deep passion for the art of punning.

The task is to wrap the humor and wit in a concise package, delivering optimum amusement with minimal words.

Here’s hoping these takeaway one-liners will deliver a hearty serving of laughter right at your doorstep:

I ordered a takeaway and got a fortune cookie that said, “Your cooking skills are comparable to a takeaway chef.” Thanks for the insult and the dinner.
Why did the takeaway owner give away free food? Because they wanted to curry favor with the customers!
I ordered a takeaway online and they sent me a picture of what I could have cooked if I had any culinary skills.
My bank account after ordering a takeaway: “Are you sure you want to delete this transaction?”
Why did the hot dog go to the party? Because it was a real wiener!
I called the takeaway to complain about my cold fries. They said, “Don’t worry, we’ll send you a warm apology.”
I tried to make my own takeaway at home, but all I got was a take-stay.
Takeaway food is a great way to save time on cooking and gain weight at the same time.
I called a takeaway place and asked if they had food for a party. They said, “Sure, just invite all your hungry friends.”
Why did the pizza get a job at the bank? It had a lot of dough to handle.
My local takeaway is so popular that they should have a VIP line for people who know the secret password: “Hungry”
I ordered a takeaway, and when it arrived, it was so small that I thought it was on a diet too.
What did the sushi say to the hamburger? Wasabi with you?
I don’t trust any takeaway that doesn’t have a questionable hygiene rating.
The best thing about ordering a takeaway is that it always comes with a side of happiness and a main course of laziness!
I ordered a takeaway and the delivery guy said, “Enjoy your meal!” I replied, “You too!” It’s gonna haunt me forever.
Takeaway food: the only thing that can make me feel guilty and satisfied at the same time.
I asked for extra sauce with my takeaway, but they only gave me a tiny “pour-tion”
Takeaway food is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get, but it will definitely make you regret it later.
I ordered a takeaway salad, but it was so small it should have been called a “take-a-leaf”
I asked the pizza delivery guy if he had change for a hundred-dollar bill. He replied, “No, but I can give you 99 problems.”
I ordered a takeaway, but the delivery driver forgot my drink. They said they were sorry and sent me a “glass half full” emoji instead.
My diet goal is to fit into my favorite pair of jeans… that I wore when I first started ordering takeaways.
I went to a Chinese takeaway and asked for a fortune cookie. They gave me a receipt instead, and it said, “Outlook not so good.”
Why did the donut go to the takeaway? It wanted to fill its hole-y cravings!
I ordered a takeaway salad, but it came with a side of laughter because who orders a salad for takeaway?
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a mathematician? Because they needed someone who could really crunch the numbers on their profits.
I ordered a takeaway so fast, it arrived before I finished dialing the number!
I asked for a takeaway coffee, and they gave me one with so much caffeine that I felt like I could run a marathon in my sleep.
Why did the takeaway owner bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to reach new heights in the fast-food business!
I ordered a takeaway, but it seems like the delivery driver is taking the “take” part too seriously.
When life gives you lemons, order takeaway instead!
I ordered a takeaway and it came with a side of existential crisis.
I ordered a takeaway from a new restaurant, and they sent me a map to find it instead.
I tried to order a healthy takeaway, but all the options were just salads in disguise.
I ordered a takeaway and it was so small, I thought I accidentally ordered food for ants.
My favorite part about ordering takeaway is the exercise I get from walking to the front door to pick it up.
My local takeaway must be magic because every time I order, my wallet disappears.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and then I order it for takeaway.
What did the burrito say after winning an award? I’m on a roll!
I told the takeaway restaurant that I wanted my food hot and spicy. They took it so seriously that my mouth caught fire.
What did the takeaway say to the impatient customer? “Sorry for the wait, but good things come to those who take-away!”
I ordered a takeaway from a fancy restaurant, and they sent me a picture of the meal with a note saying, “You can’t afford this.” Thanks for the reminder.
I ordered a takeaway and got a side of disappointment with it, free of charge.
My doctor said I should avoid takeaways. So now I just throw them out of the window before I eat them.
What do you call a takeaway that’s always late? Delivery in the rear.
I ordered a takeaway pizza, but it was so thin it was practically a “cracker with toppings”
My favorite takeaway is so fast that by the time I finish ordering, it’s already arrived.
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a basketball player? Because they needed someone to take away the turnovers!
I ordered a takeaway pasta, and they gave me a fork that had more twists and turns than the dish itself.
Just ordered a takeaway and the delivery driver asked if I wanted any sauces. I said, “Yes, all of them!” Now I have enough sauce to last a lifetime.
The best part about getting a takeaway is that you can pretend you’re on a culinary adventure while sitting in your sweatpants.
I tried to order a takeaway, but my phone said, “Sorry, we’re not delivery-able.”
I love takeaway food so much that I’ve started a collection of all the menus from my favorite restaurants.
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a ghost? Because it needed some spook-tacular service!
Why did the takeaway start offering a loyalty program? They wanted to reward their customers for always taking a slice of the action!
I asked the waiter if they had any takeaway options. He said, “Sure, you can take yourself away if you want.” Rude, but hilarious.
I ordered a takeaway so spicy that when it arrived, the delivery driver was wearing a hazmat suit.
I ordered a takeaway burger, but it was so big I had to hire a moving truck to bring it home.
The only time I ever exercise is when I have to run to catch the delivery guy before he leaves with my takeaway.
Why did the takeaway chef go to jail? Because he got caught curry-ing out his duties!
I ordered a takeaway so spicy, it made my taste buds file a lawsuit for assault!
Why did the takeaway chef become a boxer? He wanted to be known as the knockout king of fast food.
I tried to order a healthy takeaway, but they said they were all out of unicorn salads.
I ordered a burger and chips takeaway, but they forgot the burger. I guess it was just a chip on my shoulder.
I ordered a takeaway burger, but it arrived so cold that I had to heat it up myself. I guess it was a “Do-It-Yourself” meal.
My relationship with takeaways is just like a bad ex, we always end up regretting it but keep going back for more.
I asked the takeaway restaurant if they deliver miracles, and they said, “Sure, what’s your address?”
I once ordered a takeaway and they forgot my cutlery. I had to eat my rice with a whisk. It was a stir-fry disaster.
What did the customer say to the takeaway restaurant owner who forgot their order? This is a mis-takeaway.
I tried to reheat my takeaway in the microwave, but it ended up “takeaway-ing” all the flavor.
I asked for a takeaway coffee, but they handed me an empty cup and told me to imagine the caffeine rush. Apparently, it’s a new “mind over matter” promotion.
What did the French fries say to the burger in the takeaway bag? You’re the ketchup to my fries.
The takeaway burger I ordered was so big, I needed a GPS to find the actual burger.
Why did the takeaway restaurant get a new security system? They didn’t want anyone to steal their fried rice.
I asked for a takeaway menu, and they gave me a blank piece of paper with the words, “Use your imagination.”
Why did the scarecrow bring his lunch to the takeaway? Because he heard it was the best spot to get a good “stuffed” meal!
I once called a takeaway place and asked if they delivered. They replied, “No, we only teleport the food to you.”
Why did the takeaway chef go to art school? Because he wanted to master the art of food delivery.
I tried to order a takeaway burger, but they said it was “impossible” because they only served “real” food.
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner start a band? Because he wanted to make some dough.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…of takeaway!
I don’t always order takeaway, but when I do, I make sure to order enough to feed a small village.
My favorite takeaway place gives out free fortune cookies with every order. I’m starting to suspect they’re just trying to sweeten the deal.
I ordered a takeaway and it was so greasy, I could hear my arteries screaming for help.
What did the Chinese food say to the Italian food? Wonton more pizza?
I tried to call a takeaway place for dinner, but their number was busy frying all the other orders!
My takeaway is like a relationship status: single and ready to mingle in my stomach!
I asked for a takeaway menu, and they handed me a dictionary. Apparently, their menu is “wordy”
My bank account always has a love-hate relationship with takeaway nights.
My local takeaway knows me so well that they don’t even bother asking for my address anymore.
I tried to make a joke about a takeaway, but it just didn’t deliver.
My favorite takeaway dish is the “Surprise Me Special” because I have no idea what I’m eating half the time!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start serving breakfast? Because they wanted to take eggs-actly what you need to start your day!
I called the local takeaway and asked if they delivered, but they just laughed and said they only had cars.
What did the takeaway say to the customer who couldn’t decide what to order? “Just wing it and try our chicken wings!”
I ordered takeaway sushi, but it was so small that I needed a magnifying glass to find it. Guess they took the term “bite-sized” too seriously.
My friend ordered a takeaway and asked for extra sauce. They sent him a gallon of it! Now he’s swimming in ketchup.
I ordered a takeaway so spicy that when I ate it, my taste buds filed a complaint for assault.
What do you call a takeaway that’s been sitting in the fridge for too long? “Expired to-go”!
I ordered a Chinese takeaway and the delivery guy said, “Your food is on the house.” I said, “I hope it’s not the roof.”
I love takeaway food because it’s like a surprise party for my taste buds, except I’m the only one invited!
I tried to get a takeaway from a bakery, but they said it was a “bread-only” service.
My waistline has a love-hate relationship with takeaways – it loves them, but hates fitting into my jeans afterwards.
I ordered a takeaway, but when I opened it, all I found was a note saying, “Haha, fooled you!”
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the takeaway menu and realized it couldn’t resist!
When my dog hears me ordering a takeaway, he starts salivating like he’s about to win the lottery!
Why did the takeaway restaurant break up with the salad bar? They found someone more saucy.
I ordered a takeaway dinner, and they gave me chopsticks. Little did they know, I’m an expert in fork-ery.
I ordered a takeaway pizza, but I think the delivery guy must have taken it too literally and ran away with it.
I ordered a takeaway, but it took so long I had to cancel and cook the cow myself.
My doctor told me to watch what I eat, so now I watch takeaways being delivered to my neighbors.
I ordered takeaway from a restaurant called Karma. It came with a note that said, “This is what you get for eating out so much.” .
Takeaway is like a relationship: it’s exciting at first, but eventually, you’ll regret every bite.
I ordered a takeaway pizza, but it didn’t come with a map to find the nearest gym.
I tried to order a takeaway online, but my Wi-Fi went down, so I had to resort to writing a letter and sending it via carrier pigeon.
Why did the Chinese takeaway chef become a magician? He wanted to wok his magic on the customers!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a math teacher? Because they wanted someone who could count fries accurately!
I ordered a takeaway salad, and they sent me a picture of a garden with a note saying, “Grow your own.”
My favorite takeaway food is Chinese because it always delivers… literally!
Did you hear about the mathematician who loved takeaway? He could always count on it!
I ordered a takeaway online and it said it would be delivered in 30 minutes. It’s been two weeks, and I’m still waiting.
Why did the takeaway go to school? It wanted to be a smart food delivery service!
What did the takeaway say to the customer who wanted a refund for their cold food? “Sorry, but we don’t offer a take-back policy!”
I asked for a vegetarian takeaway, but they sent me a bowl of air and said, “Enjoy your nothingness.”
Why did the takeaway restaurant start selling seafood? Because they wanted to give their customers a taste of the ocean-livery!
Why did the takeaway call the police? Because someone had stolen their spice rack, and they needed to file a saucery!
I asked for extra crispy fries with my takeaway, but they were so overcooked they could double as firewood.
I asked for a takeaway menu, and the waiter told me to take a picture with my mind because they were out of paper.
Why did the pizza maker start delivering takeaways? Because he kneaded the dough!
My takeaway was so big, it had its own postcode!
I tried to order takeaway from a pizza place, but they refused. Apparently, they only serve “take-in”
I ordered a takeaway burger, but it was so big that I had to call for backup just to lift it.
I ordered a takeaway pizza, but it went straight to voicemail.
Why did the takeaway chef quit his job? Because he couldn’t make ends meat!
My local takeaway is so slow, I think they should change their name to “Wait-a-way.”
What do you call a takeaway that delivers in a lightning storm? Shock and delivery.
What do you call a delivery driver who always loses their way? A takeaway twit-nav.
I ordered takeaway from a fancy restaurant, but they forgot to include the price on the menu. I guess it was “market value.”
What did the takeaway say to the customer who complained about the small portions? “Sorry, it’s a take-it-or-leave-it policy!”
My diet plan: Ordering a takeaway and then canceling it five minutes later.
I tried to order takeaway online, but the website said it couldn’t “deliver” my request.
The only thing better than a takeaway is realizing you still have leftovers in the fridge the next morning.
I ordered a takeaway, but it seems my food took a “staycation” in the kitchen.
I went to a vegetarian takeaway, but they only served “lettuce pray” sandwiches.
I ordered a takeaway pizza, but it didn’t come with a remote control.
My favorite takeaway spot has a “buy one, get one free” offer. So I always order two and tell myself it’s just to save money.
I tried to take my takeaway coffee to-go, but it insisted on staying in the cup.
Why did the takeout chicken go to therapy? It had a lot of baggage.
I asked the Chinese takeaway for a fortune cookie, but they said I had to provide my own destiny.
I ordered a takeaway salad, but they forgot to include the dressing. It was a dry attempt at healthy eating.
I called for a takeaway and asked if they had anything vegetarian. They said, “Sure, we can take away the meat from any dish.”
Why did the taco go to school? To get a little more filling in its education.
I ordered a takeaway online, but it arrived cold. I guess it didn’t have good delivery service!
I ordered a Chinese takeaway, but all I got was a fortune cookie that said “Try again later.”
Takeaways are proof that food truly does love me back – right back to my waistline.
Takeaway containers are like Tupperware for people who have given up on life.
I ordered a takeaway and they said it would be ready in 15 minutes. Three hours later, I’m still waiting. I think they misunderstood the concept.
What do you call a takeaway that has mastered martial arts? Wok-ayway!
Why did the takeaway refuse to play cards? It was afraid of being dealt a bad hand!
I asked the pizza guy if he could draw a smiley face on the box. He said, “Sure, but it will cost you an extra slice.”
My favorite part of ordering takeaway is pretending I have my life together by telling the delivery driver “Just leave it at the door, please”
Why did the takeaway chicken go to the hospital? To get its tempura-ture checked.
What do you call a takeaway that only serves dessert? A sugar rush delivery service!
I tried to order a takeaway online, but my Wi-Fi was acting up. I guess you could say it was a bad connection for a food delivery.
What did the takeaway say to the customer who couldn’t decide on their order? “Take your thyme!”
My local takeaway asked me to leave a Yelp review, so I said, “Sure, can I take it home and eat it first?”
My takeaways are like my bank account – constantly empty.
I tried to order a takeaway online, but my computer said, “Sorry, you’ve reached your maximum delivery calories for the day.”
My takeaways consist of 90% disappointment and 10% regret.
I asked the takeaway restaurant if they could deliver happiness, and they said, “Sure, but it might be cold by the time it arrives!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a stand-up comedian? He wanted to deliver laughter along with his food.
Takeaway food is the reason I have trust issues – it always looks better in the picture than in reality.
Why did the takeaway owner become a comedian? Because they loved “delivering” punchlines!
I ordered a takeaway and got a note that said, “Sorry, we ran out of food, but here’s a picture of what you could have had.”
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering vegetarian options? They wanted to give their customers a take-out of this world experience!
I ordered a takeaway salad, and they forgot to include the dressing. Now it’s just a leave-away.
I ordered a takeaway pizza, and it was so big that I had to use a satellite dish to reheat it.
What did the takeaway say to the customer who complained about the spicy food? “Well, it’s called a take-away, not a take-it-easy!”
Takeaway: the perfect way to turn food into regret without any effort.
My favorite part of getting a takeaway is eating with my hands because it makes me feel like a caveman with a smartphone!
Why was the takeaway chef such a good dancer? Because he had the perfect recipe for a salsa!
I asked the takeaway guy if he could make the food spicy, and he replied, “Sure, I’ll throw in some extra chili flakes and my mixtape.”
My favorite kind of takeaway is a doggy bag from a fancy restaurant – who needs dignity when you have leftovers?
At the takeaway, I asked for extra ketchup and they said, “We can’t sauce your demands!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner refuse to hire a pastry chef? Because he didn’t want any desserters on his team.
I ordered a Chinese takeaway, but they only gave me one chopstick. Clearly, they misunderstood my request for “double everything.”
I ordered a takeaway sandwich, and they forgot the meat. It was a perfect example of a “no-meat-er” meal.
I ordered a takeaway burger, and it was so big that it came with a free gym membership.
Why did the takeaway restaurant’s delivery driver get a promotion? Because he always brought a lot to the table!
I called the takeaway place to complain about a missing item in my order, and they said, “Sorry, we must have taken it for granted.”
The only exercise I get is running towards the door when the takeaway delivery arrives.
Did you hear about the takeaway that started a band? They were known for their awesome “Food on the Rocks” performances!
I asked for extra fries with my takeaway, but they forgot the “extra” part.
I asked my doctor how many takeaways a week are too many, and he replied, “I don’t know, I’m not a math professor.” .
My love life is like a takeaway menu – full of options, but most of them are just greasy disappointments.
Why did the takeaway get into a fight with the salad bar? Because it wanted to toss some punches!
I ordered a takeaway online and the delivery guy asked me if I wanted a side of guilt with that.
Why did the takeaway restaurant start a charity? They wanted to give food to the needy and gain some take-credibility.
Takeaway food is the only thing that can make your stomach happy while simultaneously making your wallet sad.
What did the takeaway say to the customer who complained about their portion size? “Sorry, we’ll taco about it and make it right!”
I asked for extra sauce with my takeaway, but they must have misheard me because they sent an extra sock instead.
What did the takeaway restaurant say to the customer who asked for a discount? “Sorry, we don’t give food away… it’s not a takeaway giveaway.”
The only thing I can take away from my diet is the food.
Why did the ghost order a takeaway? Because he couldn’t handle the “boo”ring leftovers!
I ordered a takeaway from a new restaurant, and they gave me a fortune cookie that said, “You’ll be back… with heartburn!”
My takeaways are like my relationships – they always leave me feeling greasy and unsatisfied.
I ordered a takeaway pizza, and the delivery driver asked if I wanted the “thin crust” option. I replied, “No, I’ll take the whole thing.”
My local takeaway is so slow, I think they must be training for the Olympics in delivery time.
I ordered a takeaway, but the delivery driver got lost and ended up on my doorstep with a map and a compass.
I ordered a takeaway pizza with extra cheese, and they delivered it in a wheelbarrow.
Takeaway food is like a surprise party, except the surprise is always how much you overeat.
Ordered a takeaway and it arrived in record time. Turns out they were just parked around the corner waiting for me to finish cooking.
I ordered a takeaway so spicy, my taste buds went on vacation without me.
I tried to resist ordering takeaway, but my willpower melted faster than a pizza in a hot oven.
Takeaway food: Because cooking is just too much effort.
Why did the takeaway chef always carry a pencil? In case he needed to take orders!
My idea of a balanced diet is a takeaway in each hand.
I asked the waiter if they had a takeaway menu, and he handed me a pen and paper saying, “Sure, write down what you want and take it away.”
I ordered a takeaway and it was so bland, my taste buds went on strike for a week.
Every time I order a takeaway, I feel like a character in a video game completing a food quest.
What did the customer say to the takeaway restaurant owner? I’d like a pizza your mind, please.
Why did the takeaway chef go broke? Because they couldn’t make enough “dough”!
The best thing about takeaway is that it’s the only food that comes with a side of guilt.
I ordered a takeaway and asked for extra sauce, but all I got was a side of disappointment.
I ordered a takeaway salad, and they put so much dressing on it that it looked like a swimming pool for vegetables.
My local takeaway is always adding new dishes to their menu… and my waistline is always subtracting!

Takeaway Dad Jokes

Takeaway Dad Jokes are the perfect combination of humor and playfulness that can stir laughter and a good amount of eye-rolling at the same time.

They are the type of jokes that are so cheesy, they’re hard to resist.

These jokes are fantastic for parties, casual meet-ups, or just to lighten the mood on a regular day.

Prepare for the chuckles and sighs.

Here are some takeaway dad jokes that are bound to be a big hit:

Why don’t burgers ever win races? Because they always end up getting sauced!
Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the food delivery guy? It couldn’t ketchup with all the excitement!
Why did the football team order a takeaway? Because they wanted to score some extra “takeout” points!
What did the takeaways say to the hungry customers? “We deliver food, not punchlines!”
Why did the hamburger call the police? Because it was being grilled!
Why did the takeaway change its name to “Closed”? Because they always shut the place down!
Why did the sushi roll never get picked up from the takeaway restaurant? It was just too raw-some to leave behind!
Why did the pizza go to the takeaway instead of the party? Because it wanted to be the main dish, not just a side attraction!
What did the burrito say when it won the lottery? I’m going to take-a-way more guacamole than ever before!
Why did the fish bring a suitcase to the takeaway? Because it wanted to have a “fin-tastic” meal!
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy? Don’t worry, I’ll take-a-way your tip!
Why did the burger go to the gym? It wanted to work off those extra “patties” from last night’s takeaway!
Why did the math textbook order a takeaway? Because it wanted some extra Pi!
Why did the skeleton go to the takeaway alone? Because he had no body to go with him!
Why did the soda pop open its own takeaway shop? It wanted to fizz-ness for itself!
Why did the pizza go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling delivery good!
Why did the French fries break up with the burger? They thought they needed some space… on the plate!
Why did the Chinese takeaway chef become a comedian? Because he wanted to bring the “wok” of laughter to people’s homes!
Why did the ice cream cone go to therapy? It had a meltdown!
Why did the burrito get upset when it went to the takeaway? Because it realized it was just a wrap job, not a full-time gig!
Why did the vegetable order Chinese takeaway? Because it heard it was a great way to “stir-fry” some excitement into its life!
Why did the fish refuse to be served at the takeaway? Because it didn’t want to be battered!
Why did the takeaway owner install a giant clock in the kitchen? So he could “take away” the time it takes to cook!
Why did the takeaway restaurant make a great detective? Because they always knew how to solve a food mystery!
Why did the pasta chef never give his recipes away? He believed in takeaway secrets.
Why did the chicken leave the takeaway restaurant? Because it wanted to take a break from being fried all the time!
Why did the pizza go to the art museum? Because it wanted to see all the takeaway!
Why did the french fries break up with the burger? Because it wanted a takeaway that was less greasy!
Why did the French fries always get invited to the takeaway parties? Because they always bring the flavor and never leave anyone chip-less!
Why did the burrito go to the library to order a takeaway? Because it wanted to check out all the food for thought!
Why did the computer order a takeaway? Because it had a virus and needed a byte to eat!
Why did the burger go to the takeaway instead of the gym? Because it wanted to get some fast food gains!
Why did the burrito go to the party? Because it was looking for a wrap battle!
Why did the scarecrow go to the takeaway? Because he heard they had outstanding “breader” chicken!
Why did the takeaway chef bring a ladder to work? In case they had to reach the takeout window!
Why did the hot dog break up with the hamburger? It just wasn’t their perfect take-away!
Why did the sandwich go to the gym? To get some extra “meat” for takeaway!
Why did the chicken go to the cinema? Because it heard the popcorn was always poppin’!
Why did the bread run away from home? It wanted to be a takeaway loaf!
Why did the pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling!
What did one sandwich say to the other sandwich at the restaurant? We make a great pair, lettuce meat again!
Why did the hotdog call for a takeaway? It didn’t want to relish the idea of cooking at home!
Why did the Chinese food order bring a friend? Because it wanted to take-a-wonton with someone!
What did the bread say to the takeaway? “You’re the butter half of me!”
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the spirits about takeout.
Why did the sandwich go to the casino? It wanted to roll the dice and take a gamble on a big win!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering vegan options? Because they wanted to cater to all kinds of “takeout” preferences!
Why did the hot dog get a medal? Because it was the fastest takeaway in town!
Why did the chicken get a job at the takeaway restaurant? Because it heard they had great coop-on deals!
Why did the milkshake file a police report? It got “shaken” and “stolen” away!
Why did the pasta dish refuse to go on a diet? Because it loved its takeaway shape too much!
Why did the hamburger bring a phone to the takeaway? Because it wanted to get in touch with its buns!
Why did the sandwich break up with its partner? Because it wanted to be single and ready to takeaway!
Why did the hot dog go to the bank? Because it wanted some liquid assets!
Why did the math teacher order a takeaway? Because he wanted to solve some “hungry” problems!
Why did the sushi roll always win at poker? Because it was an expert at taking away the chips!
What did the sushi say to the takeaway? “Wasabi-ing for my order!”
Why did the chef take his blender to the takeaway restaurant? Because he wanted to mix things up!
Why did the pizza maker always win at poker? Because he knew when to fold ’em and when to take away!
Why did the takeaway refuse to sell burgers? Because they didn’t want to “take away” from the competition!
Why don’t vampires order takeaways? They can’t stand having food delivered straight to their necks!
What did the sushi say to the takeaway menu? “You can roll with me any time!”
Why did the cheeseburger always win the marathon? Because it had lots of takeaways along the way!
Why did the takeaway restaurant’s chef always bring a calculator to work? Because they knew they had to take the orders seriously!
Why did the burrito feel lonely? Because it was always wrapped up in itself!
Why did the takeaway owner refuse to hire a clown? Because he didn’t want any “funny” business!
What did the spaghetti say to the takeaway container? Stop saucing around and take me home!
Why did the sushi chef start a takeaway business? Because he wanted to roll with it and make some dough!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a limo driver? Because they wanted to offer a high-class delivery service!
Why did the chef at the takeaway wear sunglasses? Because they wanted to keep an eye on the fries!
Why did the burger bring an umbrella to the takeaway? Because it heard it was going to be a little cheesy outside!
Why did the takeaway hire an artist? They needed someone to draw the curtains!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a magician? Because he wanted to “take away” people’s hunger and make it disappear!
Why did the pizza go to school? To become a smart takeaway!
Why did the ice cream want to take a vacation? It wanted to chill out and have a sundae funday!
What did the fish say to the seagull at the seafood takeaway? “Quit squawking and let me get breaded!”
Why did the chicken order a takeaway? Because it didn’t want to cross the road!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner bring a ladder to work? Because they wanted to reach for the takeout!
Why did the french fries go to therapy? Because they had a chip on their shoulder from all the takeaway!
What do you call a takeaway that only serves breakfast? A bacon and eggs-press!
Why did the scarecrow bring a takeaway menu to the field? Because he wanted to have a corn-venient meal!
Why did the chicken go to the fast food restaurant? Because it wanted to get a takeaway!
What did the French fries say to the burger at the takeaway restaurant? You’re such a fry-tful friend!
Why did the burrito go to the takeaway? Because it didn’t want to be left in a wrap!
Why did the soda go to the takeaway? Because it wanted to pop in for a quick bite!
Why did the ice cream sundae go to the dentist? Because it had too many takeaway fillings!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering delivery? Because they wanted to bring the “take” to you!
Why did the french fries go to the takeaway? Because they wanted to get in on the salty goodness!
Why did the burrito open a restaurant? It wanted to share its love for takeaway!
Why did the hot dog get promoted at work? Because it knew how to “ketchup” with all the takeaway orders!
Why did the fries go to therapy? Because they were feeling a little “salty” after being left out of the takeaway bag!
Why did the sandwich call the takeaway for help? Because it was in a pickle and needed some delivery assistance!
Why did the sandwich call the police? Because it got mugged in the takeaway!
Why did the takeaway restaurant have to close down? Because their delivery truck ran out of gas and couldn’t take away any more orders!
Why do hamburgers never win at poker? Because they always fold!
Why do hamburgers make great takeaway food? Because they’re always in a good patty mood!
Why did the sushi chef always order takeaway? He didn’t want to roll home after work!
Why was the hamburger always getting takeaway? Because it didn’t want to meat its veggies at home!
Why did the takeaway restaurant give a discount to the clock? It was always on time for pick-up!
Why did the sushi chef take a vacation? He needed to roll away from the takeaway counter.
Why do takeaways never get lonely? They always have a delivery date!
Why did the takeaway chicken join a band? It had great drumsticks!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner go to therapy? They needed help with their delivery issues!
What do you call a takeaway that only sells fish and chips? A batter way to eat!
Why don’t skeletons ever order takeaway? Because they don’t have the stomach for it!
Why do burgers make terrible comedians? Their delivery is always well-done!
Why did the scarecrow go to the takeaway? Because he wanted to get a kernel of wisdom!
Why did the Chinese takeaway open a pet store? They wanted to serve Moo Shu Pork and Chow Chow Mein!
Why did the french fries break up with the hamburger? They couldn’t ketchup anymore!
Why did the sandwich go to therapy? Because it had an unhealthy obsession with takeaways!
Why did the hot dog start a band? Because it wanted to make some takeaway buns!
Why did the sandwich call for a takeaway instead of making one at home? It didn’t want to be put between bread and butter!
Why did the takeaway refuse to serve tacos? Because they wanted to wrap up the situation!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the takeaway? It heard they had egg-cellent fried rice!
Why did the burger bring an umbrella to the takeaway? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs!
Why did the takeaway chef always carry a ladder? In case he wanted to “take away” the top shelf!
Why did the scarecrow bring a takeaway menu to the farm? Because he wanted to order some fresh crops to go!
Why do takeaways make great storytellers? Because they always have a delivery to wrap up the tale!
What do you call a rabbit that takes your food? A hare-raising takeaway.
Why did the tree order a takeaway? Because it wanted to branch out and try something new!
Why did the ice cream order takeaway? It didn’t want to melt in the long trip home!
What do you call a fish and chip shop that only serves tiny portions? A “scale” down takeaway!
Why did the burger go to the bank? Because it wanted to get some take away money!
Why did the takeaway owner become a comedian? He wanted to deliver punchlines instead of food!
Why did the Chinese food takeout never get promoted? Because it always seemed to wok away from hard work!
Why did the sandwich go to the art gallery? Because it wanted to take-away some inspiration!
Why did the pizza slice need a taxi home from the takeaway place? It didn’t want to get too cheesy on public transportation!
Why did the hot dog get an award? It was voted the best takeaway in town!
Why was the computer cold after ordering takeaway? It left its Windows open!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get takeaway? It didn’t feel like cooking tonight!
What did one burger say to the other at the fast food restaurant? “It’s nice to meat you!”
Why did the takeaway chef bring a ladder to work? They heard they needed to rise to the occasion!
Why did the sushi chef go on vacation? Because he needed a break from all the takeaways!
Why did the takeaway restaurant have a napkin shortage? Because they had too many orders to wrap!
What did one takeaway say to the other during a race? “I’m really fast food!”
Why did the chicken cross the road to the takeaway? To show it was no chicken!
Why did the sushi roll go to the takeaway? Because it wanted to get wrapped up in something delicious!
What did the takeaway restaurant do to keep their customers happy? They always gave them a little “extra saucy” service!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start serving fish and chips? Because they wanted to see their customers “carried away” with deliciousness!
What did the spaghetti say to the pizza at the takeaway? “You sauce me up!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant become a musician? Because they knew how to “takeout” a tune on their delivery bags!
Why did the burger bring an umbrella to the takeaway restaurant? In case there was a little drizzle!
Why did the burrito go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a salsa partner!
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi! Take away please!
Why did the fries start a band? Because they had great rhythm and were always in the mix!
Why did the takeaway restaurant serve food so quickly? Because they wanted to take away hunger in a flash!
Why did the chicken always visit the takeaway? Because it was trying to cross the road to flavor town!
Why did the sushi go to the bank? It needed some salmon-y!
Why did the hot dog refuse to eat at the takeaway? Because it didn’t want to be just another sausage in the crowd!
Why did the milkshake complain to the manager? Because it wanted more takeaways in its cup!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a comedian? Because they wanted to spice up their delivery with some good jokes!
Why did the Mexican restaurant give away free burritos? Because it wanted to promote its takeout enchiladas!
What did the hamburger say to the cheese when they left the takeaway together? “I’m grate-ful for your company!”
Why did the takeaway owner go to the bank? Because he wanted to make a “food” deposit!
Why did the pizza takeaway place invest in a new oven? Because they wanted to ensure their customers always got a “hot take”!
What did the potato say to the fryer? “I’m so hot, I’m about to get a takeaway!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering delivery? Because it wanted to take the fast out of fast food!
Why did the fries go to the gym? Because they wanted to be taken away and become shredded!
Why did the burrito cry at the end of the movie? It was a real tearjerker takeaway.
Why did the takeaway employee become a comedian? Because he always delivered “punch” lines!
Why did the takeaway chef get promoted? Because he always knew how to “take away” his customers’ hunger!
Why did the cheeseburger go to the bank? It wanted to get its “beef” in order for its next takeaway indulgence!
Why did the sandwich go to the party? It wanted to be the takeaway of the night.
Why was the math book always ordering takeaway? It wanted a good solution for its hunger problem!
Why did the clock order a takeaway? Because it didn’t have time to cook its own meal!
Why did the pizza go to the library? Because it wanted to get sauced with some good books!
Why was the takeaway restaurant’s food always so hot? Because they never wanted to take things for granted!
Why did the burger bring a suitcase to the takeaway? Because it wanted to take a trip!
Why did the pizza maker go broke with his takeaway business? He just couldn’t make enough dough!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a comedian? Because they always knew how to deliver a good punchline with their food!
Why did the scarecrow bring a takeaway menu? Because he heard they had the best “corn” beef!
What did the takeaway restaurant’s sign say during a stormy night? “We’ll take you away from hunger, rain or shine!”
Why did the pizza maker bring a ladder to work? In case he needed to take it to a higher level!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a clown? Because they wanted to add some “takeaway” laughter to the menu!
Why did the pencil go to the takeaway restaurant? Because it wanted to sharpen its appetite!
Why did the takeaway restaurant refuse to deliver burgers? Because they didn’t want their customers to “burger-lize” their health!
Why did the burger bring an umbrella? In case it got a little saucy outside!
Why did the pasta dish become a detective? Because it wanted to solve the mystery of the missing takeaway!
Why did the burrito get into a fight? Because it couldn’t handle the takeaway!
Why did the sushi go to the party? Because it wanted to roll away with a good time!
What did the sushi say to the customer at the takeaway counter? “Wasabi in a hurry?”
Why did the hot dog go to school? To get a little wiener education!

Takeaway Jokes for Kids

Takeaway jokes for kids are the fast food of the humor world—quick, tasty, and always a hit with the young ones.

These jokes encourage children to explore their imagination and understand the joy of puns and wordplay, fostering a love for humor that’s as satisfying as their favorite fast food treat.

Moreover, takeaway jokes for kids have the added bonus of making the dinner time fun, transforming that takeaway box into a source of endless laughter.

Ready for some speedy giggles?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them laughing over their lunchboxes:

What do you call a burger that you take home from the diner? A to-go-ta!
Why did the French fries go to the takeaway? Because they wanted to get fried and crispy in the comfort of their own box!
Why don’t takeaways ever tell jokes? Because they always deliver!
What kind of key opens a takeaway? A delivery!
What did one takeaway container say to the other? “Are you getting taken away too?”
Why did the hamburger go to the takeaway and not the gym? It wanted to beef up its order!
Why did the bicycle take a nap? It was two-tired!
Why did the french fries go to the takeaway restaurant? Because they wanted to be taken away to potato paradise!
Why did the takeaway take a nap? Because it was feeling saucy!
What did the sushi say to the takeaway? “Wasabi your order, please!” .
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby after being taken away!
Why did the hot dog go to the takeaway? It wanted to relish the moment!
Why did the burger bring a flashlight to the takeaway? It wanted to find its way out of the bun!
Why did the scarecrow take a day off? Because it needed to take a hay-cation!
Why did the burger bring a pencil to the takeaway? In case it needed to take some notes!
Why did the hamburger go to the library? Because it wanted to get a takeaway of words!
Why did the hamburger go to the takeaway? It wanted to meat some new friends!
What do you call a takeaway that floats in the sky? A cloud-nine meal!
Why did the ice cream cone never order takeaway? Because it didn’t want to get licked!
Why did the scarecrow bring a takeaway bag to the farm? Because it wanted to have a corn dog for takeaway!
Why did the pirate go to the takeaway? He wanted to have some booty-ful food!
What did the hamburger say to the French fries at the takeaway? Shall we ketchup later?
What do you call a takeaway that runs out of food? A wok of shame!
What do you call a fish that works at a takeaway? A filet-o-fish!
Why did the sandwich go to the takeaway? Because it couldn’t make itself at home!
Why was the math test always ordering takeaway? It couldn’t solve its own problems!
Why did the fries break up with the burger? Because it heard it was getting a bun-ch of new toppings at the takeaway!
Why did the slice of pizza never open a takeaway restaurant? Because it didn’t want to get a pizza the action!
What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Takeaway your petals and leaf!”
Why did the music notes go to the takeaway? They wanted to have a chord-y meal!
What did the sushi say to the takeaway? “I’m rolling out of here!”
Why did the astronaut go to the takeaway? He wanted to have a space-tacular meal!
What did the sushi say to the takeaway? Wasabi there all day!
Why did the fries go to the takeaway? They wanted to get fried up with excitement!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway? To get some fast food!
Why did the bicycle go to the takeaway? Because it was tired of being wheely hungry!
Why did the donut go to the takeaway? It wanted to get glazed and confused!
Why did the scarecrow refuse to order takeout? It preferred to eat “in-crow”!
What do you call a snowman who takes things from people? A frosty shoplifter!
Why did the pizza go to the takeaway? Because it wanted to be taken out for a change!
Why did the astronaut order takeaway? He couldn’t find a good restaurant on the moon!
What did the spoon say to the fork at the takeaway? “We make a great pair!”
Why did the cookie go to the takeaway? It wanted to grab a bite on the run!
How do you make a donut disappear? Eat it as a takeaway!
What did the hamburger say to the hot dog at the takeaway? You really relish this place, don’t you?
Why did the French fries go to the spa? Because they needed to relax and take away all the salt!
Why did the pancake want to order takeout? It didn’t want to flip out in the kitchen!
Why did the tomato turn red when it got home from the restaurant? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the pizza go to the takeaway party? Because it wanted to be a part of the cheesy fun!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling very well!
What did the salad say to the fries at the takeaway? “Lettuce be friends!”
Why did the pencil order takeaway? It wanted to write a review about the restaurant!
What did the takeaway say to the pizza? You’re a little cheesy, but I still like you!
What do you call a dragon who loves takeaway food? A “wok-ing” fire-breather!
What do you call a fish who loves takeaways? A shell-fish and chips!
What did the takeaway say to the customer? Keep calm and curry on!
Why did the football team go to the takeaway? They wanted to get a good kick out of their meal!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway restaurant? It wanted to get takeout before it crossed the road!
Why did the ice cream cone run to the takeaway? It wanted to get scooped up!
Why did the cheeseburger keep running away from the takeaway? It didn’t want to be eaten and taken away!
What do you call a fish who likes to order food for takeout? A sole foodie!
Why did the pizza slice go to the takeout restaurant alone? It didn’t want to be “one in the box”!
Why did the takeaway restaurant get a bad review? Their food was “to-go” for it!
What did one takeaway say to the other takeaway? Let’s take a break together!
Why did the soup always order takeaway? Because it didn’t have a bowl to go home in!
What did the waiter say to the tennis ball? “Would you like a takeaway or shall I serve?”
Why did the pancake take away all the syrup? Because it didn’t want to be stacked anymore!
Why did the burger go to the takeaway hospital? Because it had too many toppings!
What did the spaghetti say to the takeaway chef? “Pasta sauce, please!”
Why did the french fries break up with the takeaway? It found a new ketchup!
What did the big burger say to the small burger at the takeaway? “You’re my cheese-mate!”
Why did the banana go to the takeaway restaurant? Because it couldn’t find a peeling!
What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the takeaway corner!”
Why don’t scientists trust takeaways? Because they always take things for-granted!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway? To show the other chickens how it crossed the road!
Why did the pancake go to the takeaway? It wanted to get stacked with delicious toppings!
Why did the hamburger go to the library? It wanted to find a good book about takeaways!
What did the milkshake say to the takeaway cup? I’m malt-ing for you!
What do you call a takeaway restaurant that only serves fish? A seafood takeaway!
Why did the teddy bear always order takeaway? It didn’t like eating in ‘bear’-y restaurants!
Why did the takeaway have to close early? Because they ran out of thyme!
Why did the pizza go to the takeaway instead of the party? It wanted to have a slice of the action!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms when they go to a takeaway? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a takeaway that takes a long time to deliver? A slow food restaurant!
Why did the tomato turn red after ordering takeout? It saw the pizza sauce!
What do you call a burger that you take away from the beach? A sandy-wich!
Why did the soda go to the takeaway? It wanted to find its perfect match, the takeout cup!
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway? It wanted to cross the road to a delicious meal!
Why did the robot order takeout? It was programmed to never dine-in!
Why did the scarecrow order takeaway? Because it didn’t want to cook up trouble!
What did the lettuce say to the takeaway? Make me a wrap star!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway restaurant? To get its feathers to-go!
Why did the takeaway give a job to the lemon? Because it wanted to squeeze the most out of it!
What did the soda say to the burger at the takeaway? You’re my fizz-tastic partner!
Why did the scarecrow take a day off? He needed to get a little take-away!
Why did the basketball player always order takeaway? He didn’t like shooting hoops at the restaurant!
What did the takeaways say to each other after a long day? “Let’s ketchup tomorrow!”
Why did the ice cream go to the takeaway restaurant? Because it wanted to have a scoop to go!
Why did the banana go to the fast food restaurant? It wanted to “peel and deal” with the takeout!
Why did the math book visit the fast food restaurant? It wanted to improve its take-away skills.
What did the hot dog say when it went to the takeaway restaurant? “I relish this opportunity!”
Why did the sandwich go to the takeaway? Because it was feeling a bit bread-ish!
Why did the milkshake go to the gym? It wanted to work off those takeaway calories!
Why did the pizza maker go to the takeaway? Because he kneaded a job!
What’s a computer’s favorite takeaway? Fish and microchips!
Why did the takeaway hire a detective? To find out who stole the french fries!
Why did the shoe order takeaway? It wanted to have a ‘sole’ food experience at home!
What do you call a takeaway restaurant that only sells fish? A “catch-of-the-day” takeout joint!
Why did the takeaway restaurant get a good review? Because it delivered on all fronts!
What did the sushi say to the takeout box? “Soy glad to meet you!”
Why did the food takeout have a stomachache? Because it had way too many leftovers!
What do you call a takeaway that only serves hot dogs? A sausage shop!
What did the chicken say to the takeaway chef? You’re clucking amazing!
What do you call a ghost who loves to order takeaway? A delivery specter!
Why did the scarecrow bring a calculator to the takeaway? Because he wanted to count the chickens!
Why did the bicycle go to the takeaway? It wanted to order a pizza wheel!
Why did the pancake refuse to go to the takeaway? It didn’t want to get flippin’ greasy!
Why did the tomato turn red when it went to the takeaway restaurant? Because it saw the ketchup bottle!
What did the burger say to the takeaway? “You pick me up!” .
What did the pizza say to the delivery driver? Keep the change, you’re a slice person!
Why did the math book go to the takeaway restaurant? Because it had too many problems to solve at home!
Why did the tomato order takeaway? It didn’t want to get squashed in the restaurant!
Why did the takeaway bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the chips were on the top shelf!
Why did the bee go to the takeaway? It wanted to buzz through its meal!
What did the pizza say to the delivery driver? “You’re the only one for me, delivery!” .
Why did the ice cream go to the takeaway? Because it wanted to chill out with its cone-neighbors!
What did the hamburger say to the cheeseburger at the takeaway? “You’re my missing slice!”
Why did the potato go to the takeaway? Because it was chip-py!
Why did the burger bring a ladder to the takeaway restaurant? It wanted a high takeaway!
What is a skeleton’s favorite takeaway? Spare ribs!
What do you call a takeaway that serves poisonous food? A meal that’s to die for!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway? It heard there was a lot of takeaway chicken jokes!
Why did the burger go to the takeaway alone? Because it couldn’t ketchup with its friends!
Why did the ghost order takeaway? It didn’t want to scare the other customers at the restaurant!
What did the hamburger say to the fries at the takeout window? “You’re my main-squeeze!”
What do you call a takeaway that only serves fish? A “catch” of the day!
Why did the banana go to the takeaway? Because it wanted to split the bill!
Why did the takeaway serve food on a trampoline? Because it wanted to give its customers a bounce in their step!
How do you make a milkshake run away? Take it away quickly!
What do you call a dinosaur that always takes away food? A “delive-raptor”!
Why did the math book go to the takeaway restaurant? Because it wanted some takeaway functions!
Why did the French fries go to the party? Because they wanted to ketchup with all their friends!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway? Because it heard they had excellent clucktail options!
Why did the takeaway call the doctor? Because it had a bad curry-ache!
What did the hamburger say to the fries at the takeaway? “You’re my best spud!”.
Why did the sushi roll go to the takeaway? It wanted to roll out of there with a seaweed smile!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy!
Why did the computer go to the takeaway? It wanted some byte-sized snacks!

Takeaway Jokes for Adults

Who says humor can’t be served on the go?

Takeaway jokes for adults bring humor to your hectic lives, mixing sophisticated wit with a hint of cheeky banter.

Just like your favorite takeout order, these jokes blend elements of sharp wit, quick thinking, and a sprinkle of sauciness for a laughter-filled meal.

These jokes are perfect for lunch breaks, dinner dates, or simply to bring a smile to a busy day.

Here are some takeaway jokes that are hot, fresh, and ready for adults:

Why did the takeaway chef get a job at the zoo? Because they could always make a great lion’s meal!
Why did the French fries go to therapy? They had an identity crisis – they couldn’t ketchup to who they really were!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a mathematician? To count the number of satisfied customers they had!
Why did the fried chicken cross the road? To escape being someone’s takeaway dinner!
Why did the takeaway refuse to serve the mathematician? He wanted pi without the crust!
What do you call it when a takeaway item becomes self-aware? A conscious meal!
Why did the hot dog get a ticket? It was caught relishing in some bad behavior!
Why did the burrito start a band? It wanted to wrap up some tunes!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start selling tacos? Because they wanted to wrap up their business in style!
Why did the hot dog refuse to go to the takeaway shop? It didn’t want to relish the thought of waiting in line.
What did the sandwich say to the customer at the takeaway shop? I’m a sub-stantial choice!
Why did the pizza place start offering takeaway? Because they didn’t want their customers to just crust them!
Why did the sushi roll refuse to go home? It didn’t want to get taken away!
What do you call a fast-food restaurant on the moon? A rocket and roll takeaway!
Why did the pizza maker get arrested? He was caught “saucing” around!
Why did the ice cream order takeaway? It wanted to chill out at home instead of melting in a cone!
Why did the sandwich blush at the takeaway? It saw the mustard and mayo getting saucy!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a magician? Because he wanted to make all the calories disappear in an instant!
Why did the takeaway worker bring a ladder to work? They wanted to climb the corporate take-out!
Why did the Chinese takeaway start offering a free massage? They wanted to knead more customers!
What did the Chinese takeaway say to the customer who couldn’t decide what to order? Wonton more?
Why was the takeaway shop owner so successful? They had the recipe for fast-food fortune!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a fortune teller? They wanted to see a rise in their profit!
Why did the fries break up with the burger? They couldn’t handle the takeaway relationship!
Why did the hot dog blush? It saw the mustard sauce’s scandalous attire!
What did the French fries say to the burger at the takeaway counter? “You’re the grill of my dreams!”
Why did the sandwich go to the doctor? It had a lot of mayo-nnaise!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a professional dancer? Because they wanted to “deliver” some salsa with their tacos!
Why did the fish get kicked out of the takeaway restaurant? It couldn’t make up its mind, it kept floundering around the menu!
Why did the takeaway restaurant become a musician? Because they loved playing with all the takeout boxes!
What did the customer say to the takeaway owner? “You’re the spice of my life!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant break up with its girlfriend? Because it was tired of the constant delivery drama!
Why did the takeaway close down during the heavy rain? They didn’t want their customers’ food to be watered down!
Why did the French fries start working out? They wanted to get shredded!
Why did the burrito start running marathons? It wanted to be a real wrap star!
What did the sushi roll say to the takeaway pizza? You may be hot, but I’m definitely rollin’ in flavor!
Why did the Chinese restaurant close down? It was wok-ing too hard!
Why did the milkshake bring a lawyer to court? It wanted to shake things up in the case!
Why did the hot dog win an award? Because it was an Oscar Mayer!
Why did the pizza go to the takeaway alone? It couldn’t find a good slice!
Why did the hot dog hide from the takeaway? It didn’t want to be relished in the wrong hands!
What did one takeaway say to the other takeaway at a party? “You’re quite a “hot dish” tonight!”
Why did the computer go to the fast food restaurant? It wanted chips and a byte!
Why did the burger go to the gym? It wanted to be a lean cuisine!
What do you call a ghost that loves takeaways? A delivery poltergeist!
Why did the takeaway Chinese noodles always win at poker? Because they were great at stir-frying the competition!
What did the customer say to the takeaway restaurant owner who forgot to give them chopsticks? “You really “stir-fry” my patience!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering delivery by drones? Because they wanted to reach new heights in the takeaway industry!
Why did the burrito break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the spicy takeaways anymore!
What did the customer say to the takeaway owner who forgot their order? “You really takeout me off!”
Why did the burrito go to the library? It wanted to wrap up some books for takeaway!
Why did the takeaway chef get arrested? He was caught “saucing” the competition!
Why did the chicken file a police report at the takeaway joint? It got mugged!
What did the takeaway say to the hungry customer? “Don’t worry, I’ll always be here for you, no matter the delivery date!”
Why did the fast-food restaurant start selling healthy salads? Because they wanted to give their customers a takeaway option that doesn’t leave them feeling guilty!
Why did the takeaway restaurant win an award? Because it always delivered!
Why did the pasta feel self-conscious? It thought it was too saucy for takeaways!
What did the sandwich say to the waiter? Can you wrap me up for a takeaway?
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a magician? They wanted someone who could really “deliver” the food!
Why did the French fries hire a lawyer? They were tired of getting tossed in hot oil!
Why did the hotdog refuse to be taken away? It wanted to ketchup on its favorite TV show!
What did the takeaway restaurant owner say to the lazy delivery driver? “Quit “takeaway” too many breaks!”
Why did the pizza never get married? It didn’t want to give up its takeaway status!
What did the customer say to the takeaway restaurant that always made mistakes? “You really need to takeout your errors!”
Why did the French fries file a police report? They were being salted!
Why did the sushi go to the beach? It wanted to get a takeaway tan!
Why did the sushi chef win the lottery? He had a raw talent!
Why did the french fries go to therapy? They couldn’t cope with always being a takeaway side dish!
Why did the Chinese takeaway restaurant owner start offering fortune cookies with every order? Because they believed in “delivering” good luck!
Why did the pizza go to the therapist? It needed to get its toppings sorted out!
Why did the hot dog go to the doctor? It had a takeaway fever!
Why did the takeaway chef always carry a ladder? In case he needed to reach the high takeout boxes!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a mathematician? They needed someone to count all the chicken nuggets!
Why did the takeaway restaurant become a sponsor for a marathon? Because they wanted to prove they could deliver food fast, even on foot!
Why did the ice cream truck start serving takeaways? It wanted to chill out and deliver happiness!
What do you call a takeaway meal that never shows up? A delivery disappoint-MINT!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a gardener? Because they wanted to have a lot of “delivery” peas!
Why did the takeaway restaurant switch to only selling sandwiches? Because they wanted to make bread and butter!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a stand-up comedian? Because he always delivered the best “punchlines”!
Why did the french fries go to therapy? They had too many “salty” experiences at the takeaway!
Why did the Chinese restaurant start offering takeaway? Because they wanted to wok their way into people’s hearts!
Why did the takeaway restaurant decide to start selling Mexican food? Because they wanted to spice up their menu!
Why don’t takeaways ever become doctors? Because they can’t stop prescribing fast food!
Why did the man bring a ladder to the takeaway restaurant? Because he wanted to reach the high “takeaway” shelf!
What did the customer say when they received their takeaway order with the wrong items? “This is quite a “takeaway” surprise!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant start selling seafood? Because they wanted to reel in more customers!
Why did the burger go to therapy? It had too many beefs with its buns!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway? It was feeling poultry!
Why did the burrito get a job at a takeaway joint? It wanted to wrap things up quickly!
What did the takeaway say to the customer who complained about their order? “Sorry, but that’s how the cookie crumbles!”
Why did the burger go to the gym? It wanted to get in shape for takeaway orders!
Why did the french fries go to therapy? They couldn’t ketchup with their emotions!
What did the sushi say to the Chinese takeout? “We’re in a roll together!”
Why did the sushi chef open a food truck? He wanted to roll in some extra cash!
What did the Chinese takeout box say to the customer? I’m soy glad you picked me!
What did one takeaway container say to the other? “I’m just a vessel for deliciousness, but you’re the full package!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering a loyalty program? They wanted to keep their customers coming “back for seconds”!
What did the takeaway say to the customer who complained about cold food? “Sorry, I guess our delivery driver lost their heat-seeking radar!”
Why did the burrito go to therapy? It had too many takeaways!
Why did the takeaway customer bring a ladder to the restaurant? Because they wanted to reach new heights with their meal!
Why did the hotdog refuse to be taken away? It relished being in the spotlight!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner start offering free WiFi? Because they wanted their customers to have a “wok and scroll” experience!
Why did the takeaway chicken cross the road? To get to the other side with a side of fries!
Why did the sushi chef become a comedian? He wanted to roll with the punchlines!
Why did the sushi chef always work overtime? He believed in rolling with the punches!
What did the sushi roll say to the takeaway? “I’m rolling with you because you’re soy amazing!”
Why did the Chinese restaurant start offering takeaway? They wanted to wok it out of the park!
What did the burrito say to the taco at the takeaway joint? “You shell go, and I’ll wrap things up here!”
Why did the burger bring a suitcase to the takeaway? It was going on a weekend trip to bun-n-ny shores!
Why did the hot dog refuse to go outside? It didn’t want to get relished by the weather!
Why did the takeaway food get promoted? It always delivered on time!
Why did the takeaway get a makeover? It wanted to spice things up and make a saucy impression!
Why did the takeaway restaurant owner become a magician? He wanted to make the food disappear before the customers complained!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a boxer? Because they needed someone to punch up their flavors!
Why did the Mexican restaurant start offering takeaway? Because they wanted their customers to have a burrito-ful day!
Why did the pizza takeaway restaurant win an award? Because they “delivered” the best slice in town!
Why did the burger joint start offering takeaway? Because they didn’t want their customers to have beef with them!
Why did the takeaway restaurant go out of business? It just couldn’t make ends meat!
Why did the French fries break up with the burger? They wanted to have a solo career in takeaway!
Why did the takeaway delivery driver bring a bag of salt? In case the customer needed a little extra seasoning on their fries!
Why was the takeaway customer always in a hurry? They wanted to beat the delivery time and eat their food at lightning speed!
What did the Chinese takeout say to the pizza? “You’re not the only one with a good crust!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant start serving seafood? Because they wanted to create a “fishy” takeout experience!
What did the Mexican food say when it broke up with the takeaway? “I’m nacho type anymore!”
Why did the sandwich break up with the bread? It couldn’t handle the loaf anymore!
What did the burrito say to the taco? “You’re my favorite takeaway, let’s wrap this up and go home!”
Why was the takeaway shop always busy? They really knew how to stir-fry up some business.
Why did the salad refuse to be a takeaway option? It didn’t want to be tossed aside!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a math teacher? They needed help with their fry-division!
Why did the ice cream truck get arrested? It was caught serving some cold hard cones!
Why did the takeaway chef become an artist? Because they knew how to draw a line!
Why did the chef at the takeaway restaurant always carry a ladder? Because he wanted to reach new heights in culinary perfection!
Why did the Indian restaurant start offering takeaway? Because they wanted their customers to curry on enjoying their food at home!
Why did the takeaway owner become a therapist? Because they believed in delivering a good “mental” takeaway experience!
Why don’t takeaways ever go to prison? They can’t keep their wraps shut!
Why did the takeaway restaurant open a bakery? Because they kneaded some extra dough!
Why was the takeaway food always so confident? Because it knew it could always bring home the bacon!
Why did the takeaway restaurant install a basketball hoop? Because they wanted customers to have a “takeaway and shoot” experience!
What did the takeaway say to the customer who complained about their food being cold? “Sorry, but we’re more of a ‘take-away’ than a ‘take-home’ place!”
Why did the burrito start a delivery service? It wanted to give everyone a taste of its takeaway goodness!
Why did the tacos start a food truck? They wanted to spice up the takeaway scene!
What did the takeaway pizza say to the delivery guy? “You’re my slice of heaven!”
Why did the sushi chef get a divorce? He thought his wife was too wrapped up in takeaways!
Why did the hamburger go to the gym? It wanted to get a good workout, no bun intended!
What did the chicken say to the takeaway menu? “Pick me up for a good time!”
Why did the takeaway place become a dentist? Because it wanted to improve people’s “bites”!
Why did the takeaway pizza go to therapy? Because it felt too cheesy and had trust issues with delivery drivers!
What do you call it when a takeaway restaurant sings a love song? A food serenade!
Why did the bakery start offering takeaway? Because they wanted their customers to have their cake and eat it too!
Why did the nachos prefer takeaway over dining in? They didn’t want to be all cheesy in public!
What did the sushi say to the pizza at the takeaway? “You’re too cheesy for me!”
Why did the sushi chef get arrested? He was caught in a sticky situation!
Why did the takeaway customer bring a ladder? They wanted to reach a higher level of satisfaction!
What did the fish and chips say when they arrived at the takeaway? We’re in batter late than never!
What did the takeaway burger say to the customer? “I’m here to meat your expectations!”
Why did the burrito go to therapy? It had separation anxiety from its takeout box!
Why did the sandwich go on a diet? It wanted to become a light takeaway option!
Why did the taco lose the race? Because it couldn’t keep up the salsa!
Why did the burrito take a break from dating? It needed some time to find its guac-mate!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start selling salads? They wanted to lettuce entertain you with healthier options!
Why did the French fry go to jail? It was caught dipping in the wrong sauce!
Why did the sandwich go to the takeaway? It needed to get wrapped up in its own problems!
What did the takeaway say to the hungry customer? “You can’t have your cake and eat it too, but you can order it from us!”
What do you call a takeaway that is always sneezing? A “achoo-sy” food joint!
Why did the Chinese food delivery guy start working out? He wanted to deliver in the fast lane!
Why was the chicken sandwich always a hit at the takeaway? Because it had an “egg-cellent” personality!
Why did the takeaway chef break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t handle his saucy attitude!
What do you call a takeaway that serves frogs? French flies!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering vegetarian options? Because they wanted to give people a chance to kale it off with meat!
Why did the chicken cross the road and go to the takeaway? To prove it wasn’t just a chicken, but also a drumstick!
What did the coffee say to the customer at the drive-thru? Thanks a latte for choosing takeaway!
Why did the sushi restaurant start offering takeaway? Because they wanted customers to roll with it!
What did one Chinese takeaway say to the other? “Wonton some more?”
Why did the Chinese food restaurant start offering takeaway? They heard the fortune cookie said, “Takeout is in your future!”
Why did the sandwich break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the emotional baggage!
Why did the takeaway restaurant start offering delivery? They wanted to make sure their customers could get their food “to-go”!
Why did the hot dog refuse to be taken away? It relished its freedom too much!
Why did the chicken go to the cinema? It wanted to catch a chick flick with its takeaway bucket!
What did the takeaway say to the customer who asked for extra ketchup? “Sorry, we can’t ketchup with your demands!”
Why did the takeaway owner become a gardener? Because they wanted to specialize in take-away greens!
Why did the chicken go to the takeaway instead of crossing the road? It wanted to avoid any fowl play!
What did the burger say to the takeaway? “You’re my perfect match, we’re a patty couple!”
Why did the spaghetti go to the doctor after being left in a takeaway container for a week? It had pasta expiration date!
What did one takeaway say to the other? “I don’t mean to be saucy, but you’re really hot!”
Why did the takeaway restaurant become a detective? Because they wanted to solve the case of the missing fries!
Why did the takeaway restaurant hire a poet? Because they wanted some food for thought!
Why did the soda go to the takeaway? It needed a little fizz-ical fitness!
Why did the takeaway restaurant become a personal trainer? Because they wanted to help people carry the weight of their delicious meals!
Why did the pizza maker become a therapist? Because he needed to help people with their take-away cravings!
Why did the fast food restaurant go out of business? It couldn’t make enough “dough”!
What did the sushi say to the pizza? “Wasa-bae!”
Why did the sandwich call the police? It was mugged at the takeaway counter!
What did the hamburger say to the pizza? You really know how to deliver!

Takeaway Joke Generator

Finding the right ingredients for a hilarious takeaway joke can sometimes be as challenging as getting the perfect pizza crust.

(Do you feel the heat yet?)

That’s where our FREE Takeaway Joke Generator comes in to deliver the laughs.

Designed to mix savory puns, deep-fried humor, and spicy punchlines, it cooks up jokes that are guaranteed to whet your appetite for laughter.

Don’t let your humor go stale like a leftover burger.

Use our joke generator to serve up jokes that are as fresh and piping hot as your favorite takeaway.

FAQs About Takeaway Jokes

Why are takeaway jokes so popular?

Takeaway jokes are popular because they tap into the universal experience of ordering food and the situations that can arise from it.

They offer a humorous way to highlight our relationship with food, delivery services, and the joy (and sometimes frustration) of waiting for our favorite meals.

Can takeaway jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Takeaway jokes can serve as great conversation starters, especially in gatherings where food is involved.

They have the ability to lighten the mood and provide a communal laugh, making social situations more enjoyable.

How can I come up with my own takeaway jokes?

Think about the various elements involved in ordering takeaway—choosing a restaurant, waiting for delivery, the anticipation of the meal, etc.
Consider the common phrases used in the process (e.g., It’s on its way, Would you like anything else?). These can be twisted into comedic gold.
Reflect on funny or unusual situations you’ve encountered while ordering takeaway. Personal experiences often make for the best jokes.
Don’t shy away from puns and wordplays. They can add a layer of cleverness to your jokes.
Experiment with exaggeration. Sometimes, the more outrageous the scenario, the funnier it becomes!

Are there any tips for remembering takeaway jokes?

Visualizing the joke as a short story can be helpful.

Think of the joke’s setting, characters, and punchline, and imagine them in your mind.

Linking the joke to your own experiences with ordering takeaway can also help to make it more memorable.

How can I make my takeaway jokes better?

The best jokes often have a hint of truth in them.

The more relatable your joke is, the funnier it will be.

Also, remember that timing is crucial in comedy.

Practice your jokes and work on your delivery for the best results.

How does the Takeaway Joke Generator work?

Our Takeaway Joke Generator is a handy tool for instant humor.

Simply input relevant keywords, and it will generate a collection of amusing takeaway jokes.

Whether you’re looking for a classic pun or a witty one-liner, the generator has got you covered.

Is the Takeaway Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Takeaway Joke Generator is absolutely free to use.

Generate as many jokes as you need to keep your social media feeds or social gatherings filled with fun and laughter.

Enjoy and share the humor of the takeaway experience with ease.

Conclusion

Takeaway jokes are a delectable way to spice up daily conversations, making life a touch more cheerful with each chuckle.

From the short and snappy to the lengthy and laugh-inducing, there’s a takeaway joke for every situation.

So next time you’re ordering a takeaway, remember, there’s humor to be found in every menu item, side dish, and special offer.

Keep dishing out the laughs, and let the good times roll with every takeaway order.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without takeaway—unthinkable and, frankly, a bit less satisfying.

Happy joking, everyone!

Pizza Delivery Jokes That Will Have You in Slices of Laughter

Chinese Takeaway Jokes for a Side of Humor With Your Meal

Coffee To-Go Jokes That Will Perk Up Your Day

Sushi Delivery Jokes That Will Roll You Over With Laughter

Fast Food Jokes to Drive-Thru When You Need a Quick Laugh