605 Baby Jokes to Make Even the Crankiest Baby Smile

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to crawl into the world of baby jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the prime of the pram.

That’s why we’ve bundled up a list of the most hilarious baby jokes.

From pacifier puns to adorable one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every coo and giggle.

So, let’s tumble into the soft center of baby humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Baby Jokes

Baby jokes are pure joy and innocence, capturing the humorous side of life’s earliest stages.

These jokes aren’t just about the babies themselves, but also the world of parenting, from diaper disasters to sleepless nights, providing a light-hearted look at the challenges and joys that come with raising a little one.

Creating the perfect baby joke involves a playful use of words, familiarity with the day-to-day realities of caring for a baby, and the ability to see the humor in the sometimes chaotic, often endearing antics of these adorable creatures.

Are you ready to coo with laughter?

Get ready to tickle your funny bone with these baby jokes:

Why did the baby get a ticket at the zoo? Because he was caught peeling out in the banana zone!
Why do babies always carry a map? Because they want to be “grounded” for life.
How did the baby escape from his crib? He made a great “de-coo”!
Why don’t babies ever need a gym membership? Because they’re always working on their core!
What did the baby say when he wanted to go faster? “Go-go gadget crawling!”
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? “Where is pop corn?”
Why did the baby bring a backpack to the grocery store? Because it wanted to stock up on snacks for its next playdate!
Why don’t babies ever gamble? Because they’re not old enough to handle the little monsters!
What did the baby say to the judge in court? “I want my pacifier, your honor!”
Why did the baby bring a pack of crayons to the restaurant? Because he wanted to color outside the lines of the menu!
What did the baby say when she discovered her toes? “Eeeek! I’ve got little piggies!”
What did the baby say when it learned to crawl? “Finally, I can go explore the world on all fours!”
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the kitchen? Because it heard the food was “baby steps” away!
What did the baby say when he found money in his diaper? “Look, I’ve got change!”
Why did the baby go to work? Because it wanted to get some extra playtime!
What did the baby do when he saw his mom’s credit card? He called it a paci-card!
Why did the baby go to jail? Because he was a little criminal in the making!
Why did the baby carry a map to the grocery store? Because he wanted to find the formula for success.
Why don’t babies ever get caught in the act? Because they’re always cribbing.
What did the baby say to the barber? “I want my hair to be a little more paci-ful.”
What did the baby say to the noisy vacuum cleaner? “I’ve got some baby business to attend to, could you please ‘suck it up’ elsewhere?”
Why don’t babies ever gamble? Because they always come up with a “poo” hand!
What do you call a baby with a full diaper? A poop-erstar!
Why don’t babies ever get bored? Because they’re always learning something new every day!
What do you call a baby with a wooden nose? “Pinocuteio”!
Why did the baby go to the bakery? Because it wanted to see a “rolling pin” in action!
Why don’t babies need sunglasses? Because they already have little-eye protection!
What do you call a baby that’s also a magician? A baboon!
Why did the baby go to the bank? To check out his little savings account.
What did the baby say to the other baby at the party? “Let’s be little monsters and create some chaos!”
Why don’t babies need to work out at the gym? Because they already have killer crib abs!
Why don’t babies ever gamble? Because they’re afraid of throwing a tantrum!
What did the baby say when it saw its first penguin? “Goo-goo, ga-guin!”
Why don’t baby ghosts need diapers? Because they have sheetloads of confidence!
Why did the baby take a nap on the computer? Because it wanted to catch up on its zzz’s!
What do you get if you cross a baby with a vampire? A cute little monster that keeps you up all night!
Why did the baby go to the bank? To deposit his drool-ars!
Why did the baby bring a car seat to the movie theater? Because it wanted a front-row seat to all the action!
What did the baby say when he saw his first smartphone? “Aww, look at all those tiny buttons!”
What do you call a baby with a great sense of humor? A little giggler!
Why don’t babies need to work? Because they already have their own formula!
What did the baby say when it was asked if it wanted to play cards? “Sure, but I’m still learning how to “deal” with things!”
Why don’t babies ever audition for a play? Because they already know how to make a scene!
What did the baby owl say to his babysitter? “Owl be good, I promise!”
How do you make a baby stop crying? Just put it in the blender and hit “frappe”!
Why did the baby go to the bakery? Because it wanted to show off its “bun” dance moves!
What do you call a baby with a full set of teeth? A “gum control” enthusiast!
What’s a baby’s favorite type of computer? One with a “mother”board!
Why did the baby wear sunglasses at night? To keep out the light!
What did the baby say when it saw a banana peel? “Uh-oh, a “baby booby” trap!”
What do you call a baby who can play an instrument? A “mini” musician!
Why do babies make terrible chefs? Because they can’t stop drooling over their food!
Why did the baby cookie cry? Because its mother was a wafer too long!
Why did the baby take a watermelon to the park? Because it wanted to have a little seed-spitting contest!
What do you call a baby with a full-time job? An overachiever!
Why did the baby bring a fire extinguisher to the picnic? Because it heard there would be hot dogs and wanted to be prepared!
What do you call a baby that can sing opera? An opera-toddler!
What do you call a baby with a drum kit? A headache waiting to happen!
Why do babies always seem to cry during their first photoshoot? Because they weren’t ready for their close-up!
Why did the baby bring a whistle to the concert? Because it wanted to join the “crying orchestra”!
What did the baby say when it saw its first smartphone? “Aww, look at that cute little “app”!”
Why did the baby go to the bakery? Because it wanted to get a little “roll” in the dough!
Why did the baby become a magician? Because it wanted to keep pulling rabbits out of hats until it found a carrot!
Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because its mom and dad were in a jam!
Why did the baby bring a skateboard to the party? Because it wanted to be the littlest “board” member!
What did the baby say to his pet dog? “Bark, you’re not as cute as me!”
Why did the baby run away from home? Because he didn’t want to be called a “little squirt” anymore!
Why don’t babies need a vacation? Because they’re always on the crawl!
Why did the baby go to work? Because she wanted to quit being a baby and find a job!
What did the baby say when it saw a big pile of laundry? “Oh sheet!”
What did the baby say to the fridge? Close the door, I’m dressing!
Why don’t babies need regular passports? Because they already have a birth certificate!
Why don’t babies need a bank account? Because they already have all the savings in the world!
Why did the baby bring a skateboard to the party? Because it wanted to “roll” with the cool kids!
Why did the baby always carry a stopwatch? Because it liked to keep an eye on its baby “seconds”!
What did the baby do when it saw an onion? It cried baby tears!
Why did the baby take a nap on the basketball court? Because it heard the coach say they needed a little dribble!
What do you get when you cross a baby and a computer? A lot of screenshots.
Why don’t babies ever get a job? Because they always have to work under their parents!
What did the baby say to the invisible man? “I see right through you!”
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the park? Because he wanted to see the slide from a higher perspective.
What did the baby owl say to her mom? “You are owl I want!”
Why don’t babies ever get into trouble? Because they’re always on their best behavior!
What did the baby say to the dog? Goo goo, ga ga woof woof!
Why don’t babies ever perform in the circus? Because they’re always a little “short” on talent!
What did one baby say to the other baby at dinner time? “I don’t know how you eat so much. I just pick at my food!”
Why do babies always carry a watch? Because they need to keep an eye on their nap schedule!
Why did the baby take a spoon to the party? Because it wanted to stir up some fun!
Why don’t babies need bank accounts? Because they’re still in the delivery system!
Why did the baby go to the bank? It wanted to learn about its “cute” savings account!
Why was the baby sitting on the clock? Because he wanted to see time fly!
Why don’t babies need to worry about thieves? Because they can’t even “craw” yet!
Why did the baby become an architect? Because it wanted to build a better future!
Why did the baby get a ticket at the art museum? Because it was “caught” drawing on the walls!
Why did the baby take a bath before going to bed? Because he wanted to sleep squeaky clean!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the playground? Because it wanted to “step up” its game on the slide!
What do you call a baby that has a sense of humor? A “joke-ling”!
Why did the baby take a nap in the fireplace? Because it wanted to be a “hot” sleeper!
Why did the baby crawl across the road? To prove it had the guts to make it to the other side!
What did the baby say when it discovered the power outlet? “Wow, I feel so electrifying!”
Why did the baby go to work? Because he wanted to be a “little” more independent!
What do you call a baby that can make music? A little Mozart-in-training!
Why don’t babies need a license to drive? Because they prefer to be carried around.
What do you call a baby who is always on time? An “infant-ile” watch!
Why did the baby take a nap on the calendar? Because it wanted to sleep its way through the “months”!
Why don’t babies ever listen to “rock” music? Because they prefer “lullabies” instead.
Why did the baby bring a spoon to the park? Because it wanted to dig for “playground” treasure!
Why don’t babies need passports? Because they already have their own little bundle of joy!
What did the baby say when it discovered it could walk? “I guess it’s time to put my foot down and take over the world!”
Why did the baby go to jail? Because it was caught playing with a “cell” phone!

Short Baby Jokes

Short baby jokes are like the tiny giggles of a newborn—heartwarming, refreshing, and adorably infectious.

These jokes are perfect for baby shower cards, playful parenting group chats, or those brief moments when you need a light-hearted chuckle.

The beauty of short baby jokes resides in their ability to pack a hefty laugh in a tiny package, making them as delightful and surprising as a baby’s first steps.

And now, let’s rattle your funny bone!

Here are short baby jokes that deliver a big laugh in just a few words.

What do you call a baby that’s always on time? An infant-uation!
What’s a baby’s favorite kind of music? Lullabuys!
What do you call a baby that’s a musician? A little Chopin!
What do you call a baby that’s just been born? Inn-fant.
What did the baby ghost say to its mom? I love mummy!
Why don’t babies need calendars? Because they’re always crawling around dates!
Why don’t babies ever gamble? They don’t like high stakes!
What do you call a baby with a fever? A hot potato!
What did the baby say when it crossed the finish line? “Goo-goo-ga-ga!”
Why do babies make terrible chefs? They always drool over their food!
What do you call a baby that can drive? An infant-ry vehicle!
Why don’t babies trust staircases? They’re always up to something!
What do you call a baby that is sleeping? An Instagram model!
Why don’t babies ever gamble? Because they’re all milk money!
What did the baby computer say to its mother? “Data, data!”
What do you call a baby with a shovel? An infant-ry soldier!
Why did the baby go to the music concert? For a lullaby!
What’s a baby’s favorite type of investment? A high-yield diaper fund!
What do you call a baby that’s a superhero? An infant-incredible!
What’s the baby’s favorite type of computer? An apple!
Why did the baby go to art school? For finger painting!
What’s a baby’s favorite game on a mobile phone? Peek-a-boo app!
Why did the baby wear sunglasses? To hide from the paparazzi!
Why don’t babies use smartphones? Because they can’t even spell “phone”!
Why don’t babies ever tell secrets? They’re always babbling!
Why don’t babies need more than one sock? They have little feet!
What did the baby say to the lemon? Sour, sweet, cute!
Why was the baby ant confused? All its uncles were ants!
What do you call a baby that’s a good shot? A sharpshooter!
What do you call a baby who can count? A little mathematician!
What’s a baby’s favorite type of shoes? Booties!
Why don’t babies need to work out? They already have built-in burpees!

Baby Jokes One-Liners

One-liner baby jokes are the very embodiment of humor packed into a single sentence.

They’re the verbal equivalent of a baby’s giggle – pure, contagious, and full of joy.

Creating a good one-liner calls for a combination of imagination, sharpness, and a profound love for the art of jesting.

The task is to compress setup and punchline into a concise format, producing a big laugh with just a few words.

Here’s to hoping these baby one-liners have you cooing with delight:

They say babies are born with no fear… clearly, they haven’t seen a baby discovering their own reflection in a mirror.
What do you call a baby dinosaur? A dino-snore!
Why did the baby go to the gym? Because he heard they had great “toddlercise” classes!
What do you call a baby with a full head of hair? A baby who is “crowning” with confidence!
Did you hear about the baby who invented a time machine? He started crawling yesterday!
Why did the baby bring a suitcase to the park? They were planning to go on a stroller-coaster adventure!
I’m not a baby, but I still cry when I drop my ice cream.
Babies have mastered the art of making cute faces and getting away with everything.
Why did the baby go to space? Because it wanted to find the Milky Way!
My wife told me I should do something with my life, so I went and made a baby.
I just found out I’m going to be a father… I’m not sure if I should congratulate myself or start apologizing to everyone.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
What did the baby say to the doctor? “I think I’m allergic to my parents’ sleepless nights!”
Why did the baby become a rapper? Because it already had mad skills in cribbing!
My baby’s laugh is so contagious, it could solve all the world’s problems.
Why was the baby sitting in the middle of the alphabet? Because it wanted to be in the “center of attention”!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to make sure it was the center of attention and reached new heights!
Why did the baby go to the bank? To get some infant interest!
Babies are experts at making you question whether you’re actually an adult or just a big kid pretending.
Babies are like tiny ninjas, they can sleep through the loudest noises and wake up instantly when you try to eat.
Babies are like tiny dictators who can’t even speak proper sentences.
I told the baby she had a cute outfit, and she responded by projectile vomiting on me. Guess it wasn’t her style.
My baby is a master escape artist. No matter how tightly I swaddle him, he always manages to break free.
People always say babies are bundles of joy, but sometimes they feel more like bundles of chaos and sleep deprivation.
The sleep deprivation from having a baby is so real that I can’t even remember what day it is… It’s like living in a perpetual Monday.
What do you call a baby that’s always on time? A baby, because they never show up early!
Babies are like tiny ninjas, they can go from peacefully sleeping to full-scale meltdown in seconds.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
Babies have it all figured out – they eat, sleep, and poop, and everyone still thinks they’re adorable.
Why did the baby become a magician? Because it wanted to learn how to do little baby tricks!
Did you hear about the baby who loved to gamble? They were a real crib-card shark!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
Why did the baby start studying law? He wanted to understand his right to remain adorable!
What did the baby say when he found his shadow? “Hey, who’s that cute mini-me?”
Why was the baby sitting on the clock? He wanted to be a “time-traveler” when he grows up!
My baby’s idea of a great night out is staying up all night and partying in his crib. I wish I had half his energy.
Why did the baby go to the bank? To deposit some “cute” currency!
Babies are like tiny dictators who can’t even talk yet.
Why did the baby strawberry turn red? Because it saw the baby peach in a jam!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Why did the baby wear sunglasses to the barbecue? Because it didn’t want to be recognized… it was just a baby back rib!
What do you call a baby who is always causing mischief? A tiny troublemaker!
I asked the baby if she wanted to play hide and seek, but she just giggled and crawled under the table. I guess she thought we were playing furniture and baby!
Why did the baby bring a pencil to the restaurant? Because he wanted to draw attention!
I used to think I was good at multitasking until I tried changing a diaper while eating a sandwich… let’s just say the sandwich didn’t survive.
Why did the baby become a chef? Because it was tired of being spoon-fed!
Why did the baby chef get in trouble? Because it couldn’t stop throwing food tantrums!
Babies have the unique ability to make you simultaneously exhausted and completely in love.
Babies are the only ones who can poop and get a standing ovation.
Why did the baby ghost go to school? To improve its spelling!
Babies have the incredible ability to make sleep feel like a distant memory and caffeine your new best friend.
Why did the baby owl join a band? To become a hootenanny!
Why don’t babies ever want to be put down? Because they’re afraid of being picked up again.
Why did the baby become a race car driver? Because she wanted to put her foot down!
What do you call a baby with a lot of hair? A grizzly bear!
Babies have the power to turn a messy house into a toy-filled wonderland in seconds.
Why don’t babies play cards? They always end up eating the chips!
What do you call a baby that is sleeping in the crib? A nap-kin!
What do you call a baby who is a master of disguise? An infant-ognito!
Being a parent is like being on a never-ending comedy show, with a tiny, unpredictable co-star.
Babies have mastered the art of being cute enough to get away with anything.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including babies!
Why did the baby tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the bar? Because he wanted to have a little “high-chair” fun!
What did the baby say when he saw his first paycheck? “Ooh, goo-goo-gold!”
I was going to tell you a joke about babies, but it’s just too infantile.
Babies are like tiny dictators, ruling our lives with their demands for milk and sleep.
Babies may be small, but their ability to create chaos is unmatched.
Having a baby is like having a tiny, adorable time bomb in your house.
Babies are like tiny comedians, constantly testing their material on anyone who will listen.
Having a baby is like living with a tiny FBI agent… they always know when you’ve done something you’re not supposed to, and they’re not afraid to blow your cover.
Babies: the reason coffee was invented.
Why did the baby bring a fishing rod to the park? Because it heard there were some “cute” fish!
I’m not a baby, I’m a sleep-deprived tiny dictator.
Why don’t babies ever tell secrets? Because they can’t keep their mouths pacified!
My baby’s favorite hobby is throwing food on the floor and then looking at me like it was my fault.
Babies are proof that sleep is overrated and diapers are underrated.
Babies have the power to turn a quiet room into a chaotic circus act.
Why don’t babies use cell phones? Because they don’t know how to text-toddle yet!
I think my baby is secretly training to be a stand-up comedian, because he’s always trying out new material with his babbling.
Babies are like little alarm clocks that don’t come with a snooze button.
Why don’t babies like to play cards? Because they might be spotted!
Babies: proof that even the tiniest humans can take up the most space in your heart.
I used to be a baby, but I grew out of it.
Did you hear about the baby who could predict the future? He was a crystal diaper.
Having a baby is like living with a tiny dictator who can’t even talk yet.
Why did the baby take a nap on the keyboard? Because it wanted to have sweet dreams on a little space bar!
What do you call a baby who is always making sarcastic remarks? A little sassy-pants!
Babies are like tiny superheroes, capable of turning even the most organized homes into chaos in seconds.
Why don’t babies ever work? Because they’re always on a break!
What did the baby say to the broccoli? “I’m not a big fan, but I’ll give you a nibble!”
Why did the baby go to the movies? Because it wanted to watch a little baby flick!
Babies have mastered the art of getting attention by doing absolutely nothing.
Babies have a secret agenda to take over the world, one tantrum at a time.
I asked the baby if she wanted to hear a knock-knock joke, but all she did was drool on my hand. I guess she’s more into knock-spit jokes.
Why did the baby become a chef? Because he wanted to be a “baby-cue” expert!
Why don’t babies ever get bored? Because they always find something to play with, like your car keys!
People say that babies are a bundle of joy, but they forgot to mention that sometimes that bundle also comes with a side of projectile vomit.
Babies have this amazing ability to scream at the exact pitch and volume that shatters eardrums… they should definitely consider a career in heavy metal.
Why did the baby become a chef? He wanted to learn how to make some formulaic dishes.
Babies are nature’s alarm clocks, programmed to wake up at the most inconvenient times.
I offered to babysit my friend’s baby, but he said he didn’t want to subject his child to my dad jokes just yet.
Why did the baby go to the circus? Because it wanted to see the little elephant-phant-phant!
Why was the baby wearing sunglasses at the beach? It wanted to be a “bay”-watcher!
Why did the baby take a nap on the keyboard? Because it heard it was a power nap!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.
Having a baby is like having a tiny dictator in your house… who can’t talk yet but still manages to rule your life.
Why don’t babies need to worry about becoming comedians? They’re born with natural delivery!
What did the baby say to the pizza? “You’re just a little cheesy, but I still love you!”
I asked the baby if she wanted to hear a joke, but she just replied with a blank stare, so I guess she’s not ready for puns yet.
Babies have it so easy, they can just cry and someone will immediately come running to cater to their every need.
Why did the baby throw a temper tantrum at the zoo? Because it wanted to be carried like a “kangaroo”!
Why did the baby go to art school? Because they wanted to learn how to draw attention!
Babies have the incredible talent of making you feel simultaneously exhausted and overjoyed.
Babies: the only creatures on Earth who can cry and make you laugh at the same time.
Why did the baby get a job at the pet store? He wanted to earn his own rattles.
Why was the baby sitting on a cake? It wanted to have its cake and eat it too!
I tried to teach my baby to say “mama” first, but he decided “dada” was easier. I’m starting to question his loyalty.
Why don’t babies use cell phones? Because they can’t find the “send” button with their tiny hands!
Babies are like tiny dictators who demand constant attention and snacks at all hours of the day and night.
Why don’t babies ever need to be in shape? Because they have their own baby fat!
Babies have this incredible ability to turn any peaceful night into a chaotic symphony of crying, diaper changes, and sleepless nights… it’s like having a personal DJ that hates you.
What did the baby say when it learned to crawl? “I finally found my own wheels!”
Why do babies always seem calm and relaxed? Because they haven’t realized they’re responsible for their own taxes yet.
Babies are the only beings who can make a 3 am wake-up call seem adorable.
Why did the baby go to the zoo? It wanted to test its new “cub appeal”!
Having a baby is like owning a tiny, adorable alarm clock that goes off every two hours.
I tried to teach the baby some magic tricks, but all she did was pull a pacifier out from behind her ear. Guess she’s a natural-born illusionist!
Why did the baby go to the restaurant alone? Because it wanted to try some “baby” back ribs!
Why did the baby go to the zoo? Because it wanted to meet some little baby animals!
Babies are like little tornadoes of love and chaos that completely turn your world upside down.
Babies have an impressive talent for turning even the simplest tasks, like changing a diaper, into an Olympic-level sport.
What do you call a baby ghost? A boo-boo!
I asked the baby if he could lend me a hand. He gave me a pacifier.
Did you hear about the baby who loved to sleep? He was a “nap-tural” born talent!
Why did the baby wear sunglasses to the daycare? Because it was a cool kid!
Why did the baby become a chef? They were tired of just being a little formula-fed food critic!
What did the baby say to the shoe? “I’m just trying to find my sole mate!”
What did the baby say to the lemon that was giving it a sour look? “You’re not my main squeeze!”
Babies: the only humans who can sleep through a tornado and wake up refreshed.
Babies have a unique talent for making every household object a potential hazard. Who knew a spoon could be so dangerous?
Why did the baby computer go to dance class? To learn its motherboard!
Why don’t babies ever need a watch? Because they’re always born with second hands!
Babies are proof that even the tiniest humans can produce the loudest screams.
Why don’t babies ever use cell phones? Because they would rather drool over a conversation!

Baby Dad Jokes

Baby dad jokes are the charming mixture of wit and humor that can make anybody smile and roll their eyes simultaneously.

They’re the type of jokes that are so cheesy, they’re downright hilarious.

These jokes are ideal for baby showers, family gatherings, or simply to lighten the mood during those late-night diaper changes.

Prepare yourself for the chuckles and the eye-rolls.

Here are some baby dad jokes that are guaranteed to amuse:

Why did the baby become a lawyer? Because it wanted to learn how to argue with pacifiers!
Why don’t babies ever gamble? Because they can’t keep a straight face!
Why don’t babies use cell phones? Because they already have the best calling plan – ma-ma!
Why don’t babies ever gamble? Because they always come with a pair of little dice!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the barbeque? To “reach” for the stars!
Why don’t babies ever get bored? Because they’re always playing “peek-a-boo” with life!
Why did the baby get a ticket at the zoo? Because it was caught monkeying around!
Why did the baby bring a flashlight to bed? Because it wanted to find the boogeyman before he found it!
Why did the baby go to school in a diaper? Because it wanted to pass with flying colors!
Why did the baby carry a watch around? Because it wanted to have a little wrist in time management.
Why don’t babies need to work out? They’re born with little muscle!
What did the baby say when it learned to walk? “I’m floor-ed!”
Why did the baby carry a stopwatch? Because it wanted to time how long it took to change its diaper.
Why don’t babies make good boxers? Because they tend to throw in the towel!
Why don’t babies ever use cell phones? Because they can’t even hold a conversation!
What do you call a baby monkey that won’t stop crying? A “boohoo” baboon!
Why don’t babies ever listen to music? Because they are used to the sound of their own rattle!
Why do babies always look so serious? Because they know they have big shoes to fill!
Why did the baby call the locksmith? Because it locked itself out of the playpen!
Why did the baby cookie cry? Because it was feeling a little crumby!
What do you call a baby’s little toes? “Piggies in training!”
How did the baby go to sleep during a thunderstorm? It rocked-a-bye, baby.
What do you call a baby that is a great singer? A “rock-a-bye” star!
Why did the baby take a pencil to bed? So it could draw in its dreams.
Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
Why did the baby bring a fishing pole to the restaurant? In case they wanted to catch a “baby squid” for dinner!
Why don’t babies ever lose at poker? Because they’re all experts at playing with their own pair of deuces!
What do you call a baby that is a good electrician? A conductor.
Why do babies always seem so calm? Because they have no idea what’s going on!
What did the baby do when he saw his first balloon? He burst into tears, of course!
Why don’t babies use cell phones? Because they prefer to drool over their toys!
What did the baby say to the mommy cow? “Moo-ma!”
Why did the baby eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why don’t babies need regular books? Because they already have a lot of “board” books!
Why don’t babies ever go to casinos? Because they can’t handle the cradle-ers!
What did the baby say when it saw its first math problem? Goo-goo, two minus one equals goo!
Why did the baby bring a loaf of bread to the basketball game? Because it heard the players needed a little extra dough.
What did the baby tomato say to the big tomato during a family walk? “Ketchup!” .
Why don’t babies need to worry about money? Because they’re still in the “infant” stage!
Why do babies love to crawl? Because it’s their first chance at freedom, before they learn to walk and get into everything!
Why did the baby carry a pencil and paper to bed? Because it wanted to draw some “crib” notes!
What do you call a baby that’s on fire? A little hot tamale!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the playground? Because it wanted to reach new heights on the swings!
Why did the baby start a band? Because it wanted to be the “wailer” in a rock group!
What do you call a baby that laughs at night? A little chucklehead!
Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a coin? His mom had to change him for a quarter.
What do you call a baby with a drum? A percussionist in the making!
Why did the baby go to the bank? To get a little “cabbage” for its piggy bank!
What did the baby say when he saw his dad shaving for the first time? “I didn’t know you grew your own fur!”
What do you call a baby that is a skilled chef? A stew-perstar!
Why don’t babies ever trust the ocean? Because it waves too much!
Why did the baby go to the circus? To see the “diaper-changing trapeze” act!
Why was the baby looking for its mom at the construction site? It heard she was outstanding in her field.
What do you call a baby spider? A “web” designer!
Why don’t babies need suits? Because they’re born in onesies!
Why did the baby go to bed with a tape measure? Because he wanted to be a ruler!
Why was the math book sad after giving birth? Because it had too many story problems!
Why did the baby take a nap on the construction site? Because it wanted to sleep like a “bawld” eagle!
Why don’t babies need to work out? Because they’re already good at crawling!
What did the baby say when it found out it could crawl? “I’m on the move, mom and dad!”
Why don’t babies make good detectives? Because they always drop the case!
What did the baby say when it was asked if it wanted to hear a joke? “Goo goo, ha ha!”
What did the baby say to the parent bird? “Tweet me right, mom and dad!”
Why don’t babies ever need a passport? Because they’re already experts at crawling across borders!
Why don’t babies ever make good chefs? Because they always drool over the food!
What did the baby say when he found a dollar bill? “I’m a little “cents” richer!”
Why don’t babies make good mathematicians? Because they can’t even count to ten without taking their socks off!
Why did the baby go to work? Because he wanted to make some “crying” money!
How does a baby ask for coffee? “Cocoa, please!”
Why did the baby bring a computer to bed? Because he wanted to “byte” his way to sleep!
Why did the baby try to ride a fish? It wanted to explore the world beyond the sea.
Did you hear about the baby who entered a pun competition? He wanted to try his “infant”ry!
Why did the baby become a magician? Because it wanted to perform a few “abracadadbras”!
Why don’t babies use cell phones? Because they can’t even find the buttons on a remote control!
Why did the baby go to the bakery? Because it kneaded some attention!
What do you call a baby that is afraid of Santa Claus? Claus-trophobic!
Why don’t babies ever get bored? Because they’re always a little bundle of joy!
Why do babies make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are always half-past their bedtime!
Why did the baby take a nap on the keyboard? Because it heard it needed a little “control” in its life!
How does a baby ask for his bottle in Spanish? “Give me leche-sito, por favor!”
Why did the baby put his toy car in the oven? Because it wanted to have a hot rod!
Why don’t babies make good musicians? Because they’re always a little off-key.
Why don’t babies need coffee? Because they’re already a little stir-crazy!
Why don’t babies need fancy toys? Because they’re easily amused by a cardboard box!
Why did the baby go to the pet store? He wanted to buy a new “paw-some” friend.
What did the baby say when it was playing hide and seek? “You can’t find me, I’m outstanding in my field!”
Why did the baby go to work? Because it wanted to carry its own weight!
Why don’t babies ever play cards? Because they always prefer to “spit-up” the deck!
Why don’t babies ever talk on the phone? Because they can’t find the receiver!
Why did the baby cross the road? To get to the drooling side!
Why did the baby go to the spa? Because it wanted to get pampered with some “baby soft” treatments!
What did the baby say to the parent? “I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big dill!”
What did the baby say when it saw a squirrel for the first time? “Squeak-er!”
Why did the baby bring a hammer to the park? Because it wanted to play with a little construction.
Why did the baby go to the library? Because it wanted to check out a few “baby”ographies!
Why did the baby go to the bank? Because it wanted to understand its savings bonds!
What do you call a baby owl who is good at magic tricks? Hoo-dini!
Why did the baby become a chef? Because it wanted to make some formula-won cuisine!
Why did the baby put its pacifier in the blender? Because it wanted to mix things up!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the barbeque? Because it wanted to be a little grill master!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the concert? Because it wanted to see the band up close and personal!
Why did the baby go to school early? Because it didn’t want to be late for its first grade.
Why did the baby sit on the clock? Because it wanted to be on “tock” of the world!
What did the baby tomato say to the mama tomato while crossing the road? “Ketchup, Mom!”
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems… just like a baby!
Why did the baby become a banker? Because it wanted to be a “crying” teller!
What did the baby say to its bottle? I’m so glad we’re nappies together!
What did the baby say to the dog? “Woof! Woof!” (babies and dogs can communicate, right?).
Why did the baby put its money in the freezer? Because it wanted to have some cold hard cash!
Why did the baby take a nap on the library floor? Because it wanted to be a little bookworm.

Baby Jokes for Kids

Baby jokes for kids are like the soft and adorable teddy bears of the humor universe—cuddly, endearing, and certain to bring a smile to the little ones’ faces.

These jokes allow kids to explore language while tickling their funny bone, nurturing a fondness for humor that’s as sweet and innocent as a newborn baby.

Additionally, baby jokes for kids provide an entertaining way to learn about babies and family dynamics, transforming their little sibling’s antics into a source of amusement.

Ready for a dose of harmless hilarity?

Here are some baby jokes that’ll have your little ones laughing in their high chairs:

Why did the baby go to the library? Because it wanted to find its favorite “tale”!
Why did the baby throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!
What did the baby say to the guitar? “Awww, you’re so chord-able!”
Why did the baby go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the concert? Because it heard the music was a step above the rest!
What did one baby say to the other baby? Are you made of babbles?
What do you call a baby that is a musician? A little rock star!
Why do babies always carry a watch? So they can make sure it’s nap time!
What did the baby do when it saw a banana? It went bananas!
What is a baby’s favorite type of computer? A lap-top!
What do you call a baby that’s sleeping? An “innocent bystander”
What do you call a baby that is always ready for a nap? Sleepy-head!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the library? Because it wanted to reach for the storybooks on the highest shelf!
Why did the baby chick go to the library? To find some eggs-traordinary stories!
What do you call a baby that’s always sleeping? A nap-kin.
What do you call a baby’s little suit? A romp-er!
What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato? “Catch up!”
What do you call a baby cow that can play a musical instrument? A moo-sician!
Why did the baby go to the music concert? Because it wanted to see the rock-a-bye band!
What did the baby teddy bear say when it was offered some dessert? No thanks, I’m stuffed!
What did the baby say when they saw a cow? “Moo-ve over!”
What do you call a baby who is a good painter? Pablo Piccolini!
What do you call a baby that can play cards? A poker face!
What did the baby say when he saw his mother’s wallet? “Hey, I’ve got some “bucks” too!”
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the restaurant? Because it wanted to order from the top of the menu!
What did the baby say when it found out it had a dentist appointment? “I hope they don’t give me the brush-off!”
What did the baby say to the pencil? I want to draw attention!
Why did the baby take a whistle to bed? So he could whistle while he dozed.
What do you call a baby that is a champion gymnast? A flipper baby!
What do you call a baby with a great sense of style? A “dapper diaper”!
What do you call a baby’s shoes that light up? Twinkle toes!
Why did the baby go to the musical instrument store? Because it wanted to find a drum roll!
What did the baby say to the banana? “Peel, me!” .
Why did the baby bring a pencil to bed? In case they wanted to draw some sleep!
What do you get when you cross a baby with a kangaroo? A bouncing bundle of joy!
What did the baby say when it wanted to use the phone? “Can I please have some data?”
What do you call a baby who is a good dancer? A little boogie baby!
Why did the baby go to bed with a whistle? Because it wanted to wake up in time for breakfast!
What do you call a baby with a drum? A little drummer boy/girl.
Why did the baby take a nap on the piano? Because it was trying to rest its little fingers!
What did the baby computer say to its mom? “You’re my motherboard!”
Why did the baby put her crayons in the fridge? Because she wanted to draw something cool!
What do you call a baby who’s a magician? A diaper dandy!
What do you call a baby bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What did the baby computer call his father? Data!
What’s a baby’s favorite type of music? Lullabies, of course!
Why did the baby go to school with a ladder? Because it wanted to be a high school graduate!
What do you call a baby who is good at math? A number-crunching newborn!
What did the baby chimney say to the mama chimney? “You’re too hot to handle!”
Why did the baby put their money in the blender? Because they wanted to make some liquid assets!
What do you call a baby who can write with both hands? An ambidextrous infant!
What did the baby owl say when he didn’t get his way? “Owl” cry!
What did the baby say when it counted to ten? “Goo-goo, ten!”
What do you call a baby that is a magician? A “presto-chango”!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the zoo? Because it wanted to see the little monkeys on top of the trees!
What do you call a baby owl who is just starting to fly? A “fledgling”!
Why did the baby put their shoes in the refrigerator? Because they wanted to have cool kicks!
What’s a baby’s favorite type of music? Rattle ‘n’ roll!
Why did the baby put a clock under its pillow? Because it wanted to “tick-tock” all night!
Why did the baby take a nap on the trampoline? Because it wanted to bounce back well-rested!
Why did the baby throw its rattle out of the window? Because it wanted to see a “rattle snake”!
Why did the baby bring a broom to the zoo? Because it wanted to sweep the giraffe’s neck!
What did the baby owl say to its mom? “You’re the ‘tweetest’ mom I know!”
What did the baby say to the mommy flower? I love you bunches and bunches, mommy!
What did the baby do when it saw a porcupine? It started to ‘quill’ with excitement!
What did the baby say after burping? “Excuse me, I burped out loud!”
Why did the baby go to bed with his shoes on? Because he wanted to wake up on the right foot!
Why did the baby go to the pool? It wanted to dive into the deep end of the gene pool!
What do you call a baby owl that is always sleepy? A grumpy!
What do you call a baby who is good at playing hide-and-seek? A little hide-‘n’-sneak!
What do you call a baby that’s been crying for a long time? A little tearable!
Why did the baby go to school? To get some top grades in babyology!
What did the baby cow say to its mom? “Moo-ve over, I need some milk!”
Why did the baby elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because it wanted to pack its trunk!
Why did the baby put honey on its pacifier? Because it wanted to sweeten the deal!
Why did the baby go to the fancy restaurant? Because it wanted to try haute cuisine!
What’s a baby’s favorite type of fruit? An apple, because it’s always a-peeling!
What did the baby say to the cat? “Meow-ga”!
Why did the baby become a race car driver? Because it loved to crawl at full speed!
What do you call a baby monkey? A “chimpan-kid”!
What do you call a baby cow that can play the piano? Mozartarella!
What do you call a baby owl with a sore throat? A tweetment!

Baby Jokes for Adults

Who stated that baby jokes are just for kids?

Baby jokes for adults elevate the humor, combining sharp wit with a bit of playful irony.

Just like a bouncing baby’s laughter, these jokes mix elements of hilarity, cleverness, and a sprinkle of sassiness for a distinctive chuckle.

These jokes are an excellent choice for baby showers, family gatherings, or just to add a touch of humor to a mature discussion among peers.

Here are some baby jokes that are sure to tickle the funny bone of adults:

Why do babies always win at poker? They’re experts at ‘having a good poker face’!
Why don’t babies ever get invited to parties? Because they always drool on the punchline!
Why don’t babies need a vacation? Because they’re always in a state of “chill”!
Why did the baby go to the comedy club? To learn some “baby-lish” jokes!
Why did the baby wear sunglasses to the restaurant? Because it heard the milkshakes were so cool!
Why did the baby take a nap in the garden? It wanted to dream about “peas” and quiet!
Why did the baby bring a skateboard to the park? It wanted to become a “little rebel”!
Why did the baby carry a ladder? To climb up on the high chair!
Why don’t babies use cell phones? Because they never carry any cash!
Why did the baby bring a stapler to the movie theater? It heard the film was “unforgettable”!
What did the baby say when it found out it was adopted? “You’ve got to be kidding me, I was hoping for better genes!”
Why did the baby go to space? To find out if the moon was made of milk!
What did the baby say to the bartender? I’ll have a bottle of milk, straight up!
Why did the baby bring a spoon to the restaurant? Because it wanted to taste the success!
Why did the baby become a chef? It wanted to whip up some “crying souffle”!
Why did the baby go to jail? He was caught cribbing!
Why did the baby become a banker? Because it wanted to understand the concept of ‘baby steps’ in finance!
Why did the baby carry a ladder to the swimming pool? Because it wanted to dive into the gene pool!
What did the baby say to the barista? “I like my milkshakes shaken, not stirred!”
Why did the baby become an artist? It wanted to “canvas” its creative side!
Why was the baby always so good at poker? It was a master at “bluffing”!
What do you call a baby’s favorite rapper? Lil’ Squirt!
Why did the baby become an astronaut? Because it wanted to explore new spaces and planets… like the crib!
Why don’t babies need to worry about money? Because they’re always getting change!
Why do babies make terrible employees? They always need a “nap” every few hours!
Why did the baby bring a pillow to the restaurant? It wanted to have a “food” fight!
Why did the baby go to the fancy restaurant? Because it wanted a highchair-ty dining experience!
Why did the baby refuse to play cards with the adults? Because it was tired of being dealt with!
Why did the baby wear sunglasses at the daycare? It wanted to look “cool”!
Why did the baby put its toys in the oven? Because it wanted to have a “play date”!
Why don’t babies ever get jokes? Because they can’t stand-up comedy!
What did the baby do when it saw a tomato sauce stain on its bib? It called the fashion police for a bib violation!
Why did the baby start a band? Because it wanted to be a little drummer boy (or girl)!
Why don’t babies use cell phones? Because they don’t have the app-titude!
What did the baby say to the mommy kangaroo? I’ve got my own pouch, I don’t need yours!
Why did the baby become a stand-up comedian? Because it had a knack for delivering punchlines with its baby talk!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the zoo? To see the little animals up close!
Why did the baby bring a hammer to the concert? It wanted to be a “rock” star!
Why did the baby throw a temper tantrum at the bakery? It wanted to be a little “roll” model!
Why did the baby blush when it saw the steak? Because it had a rare encounter!
Why did the baby become a chef? Because it knew how to make everyone go “goo-goo” over its food!
Why do babies always have the best dance moves? They have the perfect rhythm section – their diapers!
Why don’t babies need to worry about paying bills? Because they already have “cute”-ody!
Why did the baby become a detective? Because it heard there was a lot of crib notes involved!
Why did the baby get a tattoo? It wanted to show off its “ink-redible” cuteness!
Why did the baby refuse to nap? It didn’t want to miss any action-packed moments!
Why did the baby become a musician? It wanted to play the “tummy” drums!
What did the baby’s cell phone say to the mother’s cell phone? “Call me when you’re expecting!”
What did the baby say when it found out it was going to be a big brother? “I didn’t sign up for this promotion!”
Why did the baby take up painting? It heard it was a great way to “crib” attention!
Why did the baby become a lawyer? It wanted to argue its way out of nap time!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the zoo? Because it heard the monkeys were on a higher level!
Why did the baby become a gardener? It wanted to “plant” some mischief!
What do you call a baby that is always in a rush? A “premature” baby!
Why don’t babies use smartphones? Because they can’t even hold their heads up!
Why did the baby cross the road? To go to the “gaga” concert!
Why did the baby become a race car driver? Because it wanted to be the fastest crawler on the track!
Why did the baby become a detective? Because it always found a “clue” in every situation!
Why did the baby go to jail? Because it was caught having a little too much formula!
Why don’t babies ever eat clocks? They know what a good time tastes like!
What’s a baby’s favorite drink? Formula-on-the-rocks!
Why don’t babies need to worry about money? They’re born with “lil’ debits”!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the library? Because it wanted to reach the high shelves and find the “baby” books!
Why don’t babies talk? They haven’t learned the words yet!
What did the baby say when it saw a mummy? “Are you my mommy?”
What do you call a baby who is always winning at poker? A chip off the old block!
Why did the baby go to jail? It was caught in a crib-inal act!
Why don’t baby elephants use computers? Because they’re afraid of the mouse!
Why did the baby take a nap on the basketball? It wanted to dream of being a slam dunk champion!
Why did the baby go to the club? For some crib dancing!
Why don’t babies use cell phones? Because they can’t even find their own feet!
Why did the baby become an actor? Because it loved playing “peek-a-boo” with the audience!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the library? Because it heard it was full of stories!
Why did the baby go to the bank? To make a little “crying” withdrawal!
What did one baby say to the other baby? “Are you drooling for me or is it just teething?”
What did the baby say to the busy parent? “Can’t you just carry me for a while?”
Why did the baby become a dentist? It wanted to “toothfully” care for its peers!
Why did the baby go to jail? Because it was caught giving sass to the stroller police!
Why did the baby become a chef? It wanted to “toddler” the taste buds!
What do you call a baby who is a big fan of astronomy? A stargazer!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the gym? Because it wanted to work on its baby pull-ups!
Why do babies make terrible poker players? Because they always cry when they can’t find their “milk”!
What do you call a baby who becomes a lawyer? A litigaby!
What do you call a baby owl who tells jokes? A wit-ty hoot!
What did the baby say to the bottle? You’re my breast friend!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the zoo? To see the “monkey” bars!
Why did the baby become a DJ? Because it loved dropping beats and napping in the crib!
What’s a baby’s favorite type of math? Diaper-metrics!
Why did the baby become a sailor? Because it knew how to “rock-a-bye” on the high seas!
Why did the baby wear sunglasses to the park? Because it didn’t want to be recognized… it was under covert operation!
Why did the baby become a DJ? Because it knew how to drop the “bass”!
What did the baby say to the other baby at the gym? “Are you a weight lifter or a cry lifter?”
Why don’t babies need chauffeurs? Because they’re born with their own ‘carseats’!
Why do babies make terrible comedians? Because they always drop the “punch”line!
Why did the baby ask for a refund at the toy store? The teddy bear didn’t give good cuddles!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the art gallery? Because it wanted to be a high-brow artist!
Why don’t babies use cellphones? They can’t even hold down a conversation!
Why did the baby take a nap on the cheese? Because it wanted to wake up feeling grate!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the bar? Because it wanted to get in on the crawling traffic!
Why did the baby become a race car driver? Because it loved the sound of “diaper screech”!
Why did the baby become an archaeologist? Because it wanted to dig up some ‘baby bones’!
Why did the baby go to the bank? Because it wanted to learn about the “crawling” interest rates!
Why did the baby become a magician? Because it loved to make pacifiers disappear!
Why did the baby carry a stopwatch? Because it wanted to keep track of its nap times!
Why don’t babies have bank accounts? Because they’re too young to understand the concept of interest!
What did one baby say to the other baby? “Are you a newborn or an oldborn?”
Why did the baby go to the gym? To work on its baby biceps and flex on the other babies!
Why did the baby become an astronaut? Because it heard there was “space” for growth!
Why don’t babies ever get invited to poker games? They always cry when they see a flush!
Why did the baby bring a briefcase to daycare? Because it had important business to take care of… like naptime negotiations!
Why don’t babies ever get caught cheating at hide and seek? Because they always have a pacifier!
Why did the baby start a bakery? It wanted to make some “dough”!
What did the baby say to the other baby at the nightclub? “Do you come here often or are you just a baby with rhythm?”
Why did the baby wear sunglasses? Because it had a bright future ahead!
Why did the baby become a stand-up comedian? Because it always had the best punchlines!
Why did the baby go to the club? To get some “baby back” ribs!
Why did the baby go to jail? Because it was framed for “disturbing the peace”!
Why did the baby go to the gym? To work on its “crawling” muscles!
Why did the baby go to the bank? To see the mobile teller!
Why did the baby bring a ladder to the concert? It wanted to get closer to the “bass” line!

Baby Joke Generator

Making an amusing baby joke can sometimes feel like changing a dirty diaper.

(See what I did there?)

That’s where our FREE Baby Joke Generator comes in to lighten the mood.

Crafted with adorable puns, innocent humor, and playful words, it churns out jokes that are sure to evoke laughter and joy.

Don’t let your humor be as dull as a monotonous lullaby.

Use our joke generator to whip up jokes that are as delightful and engaging as a baby’s giggle.

FAQs About Baby Jokes

Why are baby jokes so popular?

Baby jokes are popular because they capture the innocence, charm, and hilarious unpredictability of babies.

They are relatable for parents, grandparents, or anyone who has spent time around babies.

These jokes also reflect the lighter side of the challenges and joys of parenting.

Can baby jokes help in social situations?

Absolutely!

Baby jokes can lighten up the atmosphere, make people laugh, and serve as a conversation starter, especially amongst parents or caregivers.

They can also help ease the stress of child-rearing by providing a humorous take on everyday baby-related situations.

How can I come up with my own baby jokes?

Observe babies closely—their actions, reactions, and the funny situations they often find themselves in.
Think about common baby-related items and situations (like diapers, feeding times, tantrums) and try to find the humor in them.
Use plays on words or homophones related to baby vocabulary (bottle, pacifier, stroller, etc.) to add a twist to your joke.
Reframe popular sayings or phrases to fit a baby-related context.
Embrace the silliness. Babies are naturally cute and funny, and your jokes should reflect that!