727 Humpty Dumpty Jokes for Egg-stra Special Laughter

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re ready to crack open the world of Humpty Dumpty jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the best of the best.

That’s why we’ve scrambled together a list of the most hilarious Humpty Dumpty jokes.

From egg-cellent puns to sunny side up one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every crack of life.

So, let’s tumble into the yolk of Humpty Dumpty humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Humpty Dumpty Jokes

Humpty Dumpty jokes have a timeless appeal that can crack up anyone who hears them.

They’re not just about the nursery rhyme character but also the various playful interpretations and scenarios surrounding him.

From his precarious perch on a wall to his unfortunate fall, Humpty Dumpty offers a wealth of humor for those who appreciate a good egg pun or two.

Creating the ultimate Humpty Dumpty joke involves clever wordplay, unexpected twists, and the inherently amusing predicament of an anthropomorphic egg.

Whether it’s a playful take on his well-known mishap or a witty pun on his egg-centric existence, Humpty Dumpty jokes never fail to induce giggles.

Ready to have an egg-cellent time?

Scramble into laughter with these Humpty Dumpty jokes:

Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the gym? To work on his core strength and balance on the wall!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? “I guess that was an eggs-tremely bad idea!”
How does Humpty Dumpty get his hair to stand up? With egg-stra hold hairspray!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a pen and paper? In case he had an eggcellent idea.
What do you call Humpty Dumpty when he’s sitting on a wall? Humpty Dumpty, of course!
How does Humpty Dumpty like his eggs? Scrambled… because he can’t handle the pressure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a comedian? Because he loved making people crack up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never join a band? Because he couldn’t find an instrument that wouldn’t egg-splode!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his scrambled friends? “Omelette you go first!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the art gallery? He heard they had amazing egg-spressions!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty on a wall made of ice? Chilly Dumpty!
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his fall? “Omelette you figure it out!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall for the hundredth time? Yolk’s on me!
What kind of car did Humpty Dumpty drive? An egg-celent one!
Why did the chicken laugh at Humpty Dumpty’s joke? Because it cracked her up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty take a nap on the wall? He wanted to get some beauty sleep!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his son when he graduated from college? Yolk’s on you now!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to go skiing? He was afraid of getting scrambled on the slopes!
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite dance move? The egg-celerator!
What did one Humpty Dumpty say to the other? “I’m cracking up over here!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty get into the music business? He had a great yolk voice.
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because it was too hard to sit on the ceiling!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? Because he wanted to crack eggs without anyone suspecting him!
What happened to Humpty Dumpty after he fell off the wall? All the king’s horses and all the king’s men had omelettes for breakfast!
How did Humpty Dumpty fix his broken shell? With eggs-tremely strong adhesive!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a workout routine? Because he wanted to build some egg-strength!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the egg who kept telling bad yolks? “You’re really starting to crack me up!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the bakery? Because he wanted to get cracked up by some egg-cellent pastries!
What do you call it when Humpty Dumpty tells a joke? An “egg-cellent” punchline!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a bad musician? He always had trouble finding the right pitch.
What did Humpty Dumpty say when someone called him fragile? “Egg-scuse me?”
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a gardener? Because he wanted to grow some egg-plants!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to wear a seatbelt? He didn’t want to be held together by a yolk strap!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? “It’s all yolk’s fault!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty put a band-aid on his head? Because he wanted to crack a smile!
Why did the king hire Humpty Dumpty as a security guard? Because he knew he could always “shell” out some protection!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after he fell? He was totally scrambled!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the omelette chef? Can you make mine without a fall?
How did Humpty Dumpty feel when he discovered he could juggle? Egg-cited!
Why did all the king’s horses and all the king’s men come to Humpty Dumpty’s rescue? They heard he had a lot of egg-sperience!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go to college? Because he already had a great “crack” career!
What did the egg say to Humpty Dumpty? Nice to meet you sunny side up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To get crack-a-lackin’ on his education!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? Because he wanted to crack the recipe for the perfect omelette!
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite cereal? Scrambled eggs!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he couldn’t find his keys? He had to call a “crack”smith!
Why was Humpty Dumpty always kind to others? Because he didn’t want to crack under the pressure.
What was Humpty Dumpty’s favorite workout routine? The egg-cercise bike!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? “I guess that’s what you call a yolking disaster!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a gym? He wanted to work on his core so he wouldn’t crack easily.
Why did the king send his horses to try and put Humpty Dumpty back together? Because they were experts in horse-pitality!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his therapist? “I feel like my life is just falling apart!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the football game? Because he wanted to see a good egg throw!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never tell jokes? Because he always cracked up before the punchline.
How did Humpty Dumpty get a girlfriend? He put his heart back together with some shell adhesive!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a ladder? He wanted to be an eggstremely high achiever.
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a vegetable garden? He wanted to grow eggs-actly what he liked to eat.
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on a wall? Because he wanted to see what all the “scramble” was about!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a good gardener? Because he always cracked open the seeds before planting them!
What do you get if you cross Humpty Dumpty with a vampire? Eggs-actly what you’d expect – a sunny side up with fangs!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to wear a seatbelt? He didn’t want to be known as an “egg-stra cautious” driver!
What happened to Humpty Dumpty when he had a great fall? He had a shell of a time!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty after he gets plastic surgery? Humpty Dumpty 2.0!
How did Humpty Dumpty celebrate after successfully putting himself back together? He had a “cracking” good time!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after he fell off the wall? I can’t put you back together, but I can give you some scrambled eggs!
What did the detective ask Humpty Dumpty? “Can you give me a runny description of the suspect?”
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great summer vacation? He finally got to sunny side up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the art exhibit? Because he wanted to see eggs-quisite works of art!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never finish his autobiography? He couldn’t find a good pen name!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after the accident? Egg-stremely cracked up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? He’s great at frying things!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go to the gym? He was afraid he’d crack up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because he didn’t want to fall on the ground!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a great baseball player? Because he had a good shell swing!
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a music band? Because he wanted to be a great egg-percussionist!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty’s cousin who loves exercise? Humpty Pump-ty!
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the chiropractor? He needed to put himself back together again!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an astronaut? He wanted to reach for the stars and not just the wall.
What kind of shoes do eggs wear? Shell-toes!
What do you call a group of Humpty Dumptys? An omelette of course!
Why did Humpty Dumpty bring a spork to the picnic? Because he couldn’t handle a regular fork!
Why was Humpty Dumpty always so happy? Because he had a sunny-side up outlook on life!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he had a bad day? He had a good egg-cry-sis!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to take a shower? He was afraid he would crack under pressure!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend after the accident? “Omelette you off the hook this time!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty start taking karate classes? He wanted to learn how to break a leg and not crack an egg!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? He wanted to learn how to make an omelette without breaking any eggs!
What was Humpty Dumpty’s favorite type of exercise? Egg-cercise!
What kind of car does Humpty Dumpty drive? An egg-spress delivery van.
Why did the horse refuse to help Humpty Dumpty? He didn’t want to be associated with a yolking hazard!
Why did Humpty Dumpty bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to get “egg-stra” high!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go on a diet? He wanted to be a shell of his former self!
Why was Humpty Dumpty always so cold? Because he had a great fall!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the egg who bumped into him? “Omelette that slide, but watch where you’re going!”
Why was Humpty Dumpty always the life of the party? Because he could crack everyone up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the baseball game? He wanted to see the pitcher’s mound!
Why did Humpty Dumpty take a hot bath? Because he wanted to be a poached egg!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after his fall? I can put you together, but I can’t make you unscrambled!
Why did Humpty Dumpty join the circus? He wanted to learn how to balance on a tight yolk!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after his fall? He was a little cracked up about it!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall for the hundredth time? “I guess I’m just not all he’s cracked up to be.”
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear a protective suit? He wanted to crack the safety code!
What happened to Humpty Dumpty when he went to summer camp? He had a great time but fell off a bunk bed.
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the bakery? He wanted to learn how to make “egg-cellent” pastries!

Short Humpty Dumpty Jokes

Short Humpty Dumpty jokes are like a surprise tumble off a wall—unexpected, whimsical, and absolutely hilarious.

These jokes are perfect for livening up a dull moment, adding a little humor to your social media posts, or bringing a dash of laughter to a children’s party.

The charm of short Humpty Dumpty jokes lies in their simplicity and wit, delivering hearty laughs in a few well-placed words.

So, hold on to your shells, because here are some short Humpty Dumpty jokes that are sure to crack you up!

What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite type of music? Egg-sperimental jazz!
How did Humpty Dumpty fix his broken shell? With eggs-tra strength glue!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a tissue? He was an egg-cedent-prone!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he saw his reflection? “Egg-cellent looks!”
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite kind of exercise? Eggs-ercise!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? He couldn’t resist the yolks!
How does Humpty Dumpty fix his broken heart? With some egg-spresso!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the doctor? “I need some egg-saminations!”
Why was Humpty Dumpty always cold? He couldn’t find his shell-ter!
How does Humpty Dumpty take a bath? He has a great egg-sperience!
Why was Humpty Dumpty so popular? He was always cracking people up!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To help Humpty Dumpty!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty’s lucky charm? An egg-straordinary talisman!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To improve his eggucation!
How did Humpty Dumpty celebrate his recovery? With a sunny-side-up party!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his girlfriend? You’re egg-ceptional!
Why did the police arrest Humpty Dumpty? He cracked under pressure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a bandage? He had egg-ternal injuries!
How did Humpty Dumpty get so high up on the wall? Egg-sercise!
What happened to Humpty Dumpty when he tried to skateboard? He scrambled!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty? Over-easy or scrambled?
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite dessert? Egg-custard!
What did Humpty Dumpty get when he sneezed? Egg-cold!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he saw a ladder? I’ll pass!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his doctor? I feel cracked up!
What kind of tape can fix Humpty Dumpty? Egg-scelent tape!
Why did Humpty Dumpty carry a tape measure? To measure his “egg-spectations!”
What do you call Humpty Dumpty after a workout? An egg-cercised egg!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go bungee jumping? He wanted to feel alive-ated!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the omelette? You’re not getting me!
What did Humpty Dumpty study in school? Eggonomics!
What did Humpty Dumpty wear to the Halloween party? Eggs-traordinary costume!
What happened when Humpty Dumpty tried to catch a cold? He cracked!

Humpty Dumpty Jokes One-Liners

Humpty Dumpty one-liner jokes are the embodiment of humor packed into a single, crisp sentence.

They’re the comedic equivalent of Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall – teetering on the edge of hilarity, ready to tumble into a fit of laughter.

Creating a great one-liner involves a mix of originality, wit, and a profound understanding of the art of jesting.

The challenge is to encapsulate both setup and punchline in a single line, delivering a comedic tumble of words that, much like Humpty Dumpty, leaves a memorable impact.

Here’s to hoping these Humpty Dumpty one-liners have you falling off your chair with laughter:

What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend? “Don’t crack up, it’s just a little fall!”
Humpty Dumpty tried to warn everyone about the dangers of sitting on walls, but they thought he was just cracking jokes.
I heard Humpty Dumpty had a side gig as a jigsaw puzzle.
Humpty Dumpty may be a fragile egg, but he’s got a lot of yolks to tell.
Humpty Dumpty tried to become a stand-up comedian, but his jokes always cracked the audience up in the wrong way.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but luckily he had a great insurance plan too.
Humpty Dumpty’s friends always egg him on to try new activities, but he’s afraid of cracking under pressure.
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because he couldn’t find a good seat at the theater.
Humpty Dumpty tried to become a chef, but his scrambled eggs were always a disaster.
Humpty Dumpty’s life was truly egg-citing, until he cracked under pressure.
Humpty Dumpty was a famous comedian, but his career fell apart after that wall incident.
Humpty Dumpty thought he could fly… turns out, he was just an egg-speriment gone wrong.
I heard Humpty Dumpty was a master at playing “egg-toss.”
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the beach? To build sandcastles that wouldn’t crumble like he did!
Humpty Dumpty is a real “shell”-fie enthusiast.
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to sit on a horse? He didn’t want to have a great fall again.
Humpty Dumpty may have fallen off the wall, but he’s still the king of egg-citement.
Humpty Dumpty should have stuck to scrambled eggs instead of trying wall climbing.
Why did Humpty Dumpty never have any money? He always cracked his piggy bank!
Humpty Dumpty was a terrible detective because he always cracked the case wide open.
Humpty Dumpty had a hard time making friends, he was too shellf-conscious.
Humpty Dumpty didn’t trust stairs, he preferred to take the elevator.
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an architect? He had a lot of experience with falling walls!
Humpty Dumpty was a terrible gardener, he always ended up with eggplants instead of flowers.
Humpty Dumpty never had a good day at the office, he always ended up with egg on his face.
Humpty Dumpty thought about becoming a detective, but he was afraid he would crack under pressure.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but at least he cracked a smile on the way down.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but luckily, he was an egg-sceptional bouncer.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite way to relax is to watch egg-siting movies.
I heard Humpty Dumpty’s favorite music genre is “egg-sperimental.”
Humpty Dumpty’s family always told him to be careful, but he never listened, and now he’s just a shell of his former self.
Humpty Dumpty never had a good relationship with the chicken, they always had a crackling argument.
I guess Humpty Dumpty never had a backup plan.
Humpty Dumpty always said he was good at “shell”-f defense.
Humpty Dumpty tried his hand at being a comedian, but his jokes always ended up with a hard-boiled punchline.
Humpty Dumpty’s friends tried to put him back together again, but they were just scrambling for a solution.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but his yolk was never broken.
When Humpty Dumpty got arrested, they couldn’t put him in handcuffs, so they used egg cups instead.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but luckily his insurance covered it.
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To learn how to stay in one piece during recess!
Humpty Dumpty couldn’t catch a break, he always ended up scrambling things.
Humpty Dumpty had one job, and he couldn’t even stay on top of it… literally.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but at least he had a soft landing… on an omelette.
Humpty Dumpty’s clumsy reputation has left him shell-shocked.
Humpty Dumpty had a fear of falling, so he went to therapy, but it was hard to find a therapist who didn’t crack under pressure.
Humpty Dumpty’s life motto: “If at first, you don’t succeed, scramble and try again!”
Humpty Dumpty doesn’t mind being called “cracked” – he prefers the term “eggstraordinary.”
Humpty Dumpty should have listened to the egg-perts before attempting his wall-sitting career.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but he really scrambled to get back up.
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend after the accident? You’ve got to be yolking me!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… and a terrible pun.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… and then he had scrambled eggs for breakfast.
Why did Humpty Dumpty bring a spoon to the wall? To help him eat his egg-sit!
Humpty Dumpty’s idea of a balanced diet is eggs and gravity.
Humpty Dumpty’s idea of a perfect day? Sunny-side up, of course!
Humpty Dumpty had a rough day, he just couldn’t keep his sunny-side up.
I asked Humpty Dumpty how he likes his eggs cooked, he replied, “With caution.” .
Humpty Dumpty thought he could do a handstand, but he cracked under pressure.
I heard Humpty Dumpty had a great personality, but he’s got a cracked sense of humor.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite song is “All the King’s Horses and All the King’s Men Couldn’t Put Me Together Again.”
Humpty Dumpty tried to go on a diet, but he just couldn’t resist a good omelette.
Humpty Dumpty may have had a great fall, but his omelette-making skills were never cracked.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite breakfast dish? Scrambled eggs, of course!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but he should’ve stuck to scrambled eggs.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite workout is egg-ercise.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite style of music is shell-a-ton.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite song? “Don’t You (Yolk) Forget About Me.”
Humpty Dumpty’s friends always egg him on to do dangerous things, but they never stick around when he needs help.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite workout? Scrambling to put himself back together!
Humpty Dumpty always knew how to break the ice at breakfast meetings.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite hobby was playing on words, but he never quite mastered the art of not breaking them.
Humpty Dumpty’s dream job was to be a detective, but he had a hard time identifying suspects; they all looked “eggsactly” the same to him.
I saw Humpty Dumpty trying to do a handstand, but he just couldn’t get a leg up.
Humpty Dumpty says he likes to live life on the edge, but I think he’s just cracked.
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a tape measure? To check if he was egg-sactly the same height after his fall!
Humpty Dumpty’s friends always told him to “break a leg,” but he took it too literally.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite movie genre? Scramble-action!
Humpty Dumpty thought he was unbreakable, until he met a ladder.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite pickup line is “Hey baby, can I fall for you?”
Humpty Dumpty thought he was a great comedian, but most people just thought he was cracking up.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… and he couldn’t get up because he was an egg.
Humpty Dumpty was quite the risk-taker, always living life on the edge… of a wall!
Humpty Dumpty tried to befriend a chicken, but it didn’t work out; he couldn’t lay the right foundation for their friendship.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite part of the day was egg-siting bedtime stories.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite type of music? Soft shell rock and roll!
Humpty Dumpty started a fitness journey to improve his balance, but he always ended up scrambling at the gym.
Humpty Dumpty used to be a great comedian, but his career took a tumble.
Humpty Dumpty went to the gym to work on his balance, but he ended up scrambling his workout routine.
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? Because he wanted to make scrambled eggs!
Why was Humpty Dumpty always nervous? He had a shell phone but no shell service!
Humpty Dumpty wanted to be a comedian, but he always cracked under the pressure.
Humpty Dumpty’s gym routine: cracking eggs and doing sunny-side-ups.
What happened to Humpty Dumpty after the fall? He had a cracking time!
Humpty Dumpty always cracks under pressure.
Humpty Dumpty didn’t really fall, he just had a sudden urge to do the splits… on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty’s fall was so dramatic, they made a reality TV show about it called “Egg Factor”
Humpty Dumpty tried to join a gymnastics team, but they told him he was too “shell-shocked”
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to art school? He wanted to learn how to make egg-cellent portraits.
Humpty Dumpty liked to tell egg-cellent jokes, but he always ended up with egg on his face.
Humpty Dumpty tried to become a stand-up comedian, but his jokes always fell flat.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite dance move is called the “scramble shuffle.”
Humpty Dumpty tried his hand at stand-up comedy, but his jokes always cracked under pressure.
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he got a big paycheck? He cracked a smile!
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite band? The Wallflowers, obviously.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible sense of balance, but a great sense of humor.
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? “I guess I won’t be making sunny-side up today!”
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite type of workout is egg-cercise.
Humpty Dumpty didn’t just fall, he took a grand egg-spedition to the ground.
Humpty Dumpty’s social media bio reads: “Just a shell of my former self… literally.”
Humpty Dumpty tried to join the gym, but they said they had enough yolk-lifters already.
Humpty Dumpty’s birthday party was a huge success until someone told him to take a crack at blowing out the candles.
Humpty Dumpty’s friends always told him to keep his sunny side up, but he preferred being a little scrambled.
Why did Humpty Dumpty go bungee jumping? To get an egg-citing thrill!
Humpty Dumpty’s autobiography is titled “Scrambled but Not Forgotten.”
Humpty Dumpty had a fear of omelettes, it was his biggest scramble.
What did Humpty Dumpty’s doctor prescribe after his fall? Eggs-ercises and sunny-side up vitamins!
Humpty Dumpty had a tough time finding a date, he was always afraid of getting shell-shocked.
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he saw a scary movie? He cracked up!
Humpty Dumpty always believed in breaking the mold, or in his case, the shell.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite workout? Scramble-cise! It’s all about getting those shell-abs!
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his fall? “I guess I’ll have to put myself together… sunny side up!”
Humpty Dumpty is the only one who can truly appreciate the phrase, “I crack myself up.”
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite kind of party is a scramble.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but luckily he didn’t crack under pressure.
Why was Humpty Dumpty a terrible comedian? Because all his jokes had a crack in them!
Humpty Dumpty thought the omelette was just a scrambled pancake.
Humpty Dumpty tried to join a dance crew, but he just couldn’t break it down.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… and then an even greater omelette.
I asked Humpty Dumpty why he sat on a wall, and he said it was because he couldn’t find a chair.
Humpty Dumpty tried to take a selfie on the wall but he fell for it.
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a pen and paper? To write down his egg-cellent ideas!
Humpty Dumpty decided to take up yoga, but he couldn’t master the egg-asana pose.
Humpty Dumpty joined a rock band, but he was a terrible drummer; he couldn’t keep a steady beat and kept breaking his drumsticks.
Humpty Dumpty thought he could mend his broken heart with some super glue, but it was all yolks!
I asked Humpty Dumpty if he needed help getting up, he said, “Nah, I’m good, just trying to crack a smile.”
Humpty Dumpty always had a sunny side up until that one fatal day.
Humpty Dumpty was a terrible chef, he couldn’t poach an egg without breaking it.
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? Because he loves making egg-squisite omelettes!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but his doctor said he just needed some yolks.
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear a helmet? To protect his noggin from cracking again!
Humpty Dumpty tried to make an omelette, but he just couldn’t crack it!
Humpty Dumpty never needed a chiropractor, he always had a crackback.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite exercise is falling off the wall.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite band? The Cracked Pistols!
Humpty Dumpty’s family tree must be an omelette of broken dreams.
Humpty Dumpty’s advice for aspiring wall climbers? Don’t yolk around!
I asked Humpty Dumpty why he had a wall obsession, he said, “I’m just trying to stay egg-cited about life!”
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite song is “Cracklin’ Rosie” by Neil Diamond.
Humpty Dumpty thought he could fly, but he ended up with egg on his wings.
Humpty Dumpty was a terrible chef, he always ended up with egg on his face.
Humpty Dumpty was a regular at the gym, always working on his abs-olute core strength.
Humpty Dumpty’s friends were always cracking jokes, but he couldn’t yolk around too much; he was too fragile to take the yolk lightly.
Humpty Dumpty was always very fragile, but at least he had a good yolk about it.
If Humpty Dumpty had a twin, would they be called Humpty and Dumpty?
I asked Humpty Dumpty how he was feeling after the fall, and he said, “egg-cited!”
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but at least he didn’t have to pay for the repairs.
Humpty Dumpty’s autobiography title: “From Broken Shells to Sunny-Side Up.”
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite pickup line? “Are you a carton of eggs? Because you just crack me up!”
Humpty Dumpty’s idea of a perfect vacation is a sunny-side-up beach. .
Humpty Dumpty may have had a great fall, but at least he had the yolk to get back up!
Humpty Dumpty might have been able to put himself back together if he had used super glue instead of egg whites.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite hobby was falling off walls; he was an egg-streme thrill-seeker.
Humpty Dumpty tried to become a basketball player, but he always ended up with a shattered backboard.
Humpty Dumpty’s best pick-up line: “Is it hot in here or am I just having a meltdown?”
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because it was the best way to egg-scape his problems.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite type of exercise is eggsercise.
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? Omelettin’ this happen was a bad idea!
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite type of exercise? Yolkates.
I wonder if Humpty Dumpty ever thought about investing in some egg-stra padding.
Humpty Dumpty tried to join the circus, but he wasn’t very good at egg-acrobatics.
Humpty Dumpty was voted the king of all yolkers.
Why did Humpty Dumpty use a ladder to climb the wall? Because it was egg-stremely tall!
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite song? “Oops, I Did It Again” by Britney Eggs-pat.
Humpty Dumpty doesn’t trust stairs anymore, he’s strictly an elevator kind of egg.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite movie is “Fry Hard” – the story of an egg who turns into a delicious meal.
Humpty Dumpty’s favorite song? “All the King’s Horses and All the King’s Men” by the Rolling Stones.
Humpty Dumpty was so clumsy, he tripped over his own shell.
I asked Humpty Dumpty how he broke his shell, he said it was an eggs-cident.
Humpty Dumpty’s autobiography is titled “Scrambled Dreams: A Yolk of Triumph and Tragedy.”
Humpty Dumpty always had a sunny side up attitude, even after the fall.
Humpty Dumpty went to the chiropractor, but they couldn’t put him back together again.
Humpty Dumpty wasn’t popular at parties, he always cracked under pressure.
Humpty Dumpty wasn’t a fan of puns; they always cracked him up too much.
I guess Humpty Dumpty should have stuck to being a scrambled egg.
I’m starting to think Humpty Dumpty wasn’t just a victim of gravity, but also of poor judgment.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but his sense of humor cracked me up too!
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite TV show? Game of Shells!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an astronaut? He wanted to experience zero gravity without the risk of falling!
Humpty Dumpty decided to take up extreme sports, but his attempts at skydiving were just egg-stremely messy.
Humpty Dumpty was the original egghead, literally.
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear a seatbelt? Because he didn’t want to scramble his eggs in case of an accident.
Humpty Dumpty’s dream job was working at an omelette factory, but he couldn’t handle the pressure.
Humpty Dumpty thought he was invincible, until he met the frying pan.
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? To crack some egg-cellent jokes, of course!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he always ended up with a yolk-e!
Humpty Dumpty went to the doctor and asked, “Can you put me back together again?” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I only treat egg-sistential crises.”
Humpty Dumpty may have fallen off the wall, but at least he didn’t crack under pressure.
I bet Humpty Dumpty’s last words were “Omelette you guys put me back together!”
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but his crack team of lawyers ensured he got a hefty settlement.

Humpty Dumpty Dad Jokes

Humpty Dumpty dad jokes are the perfect combination of nursery rhymes and clever wit that will make you giggle and groan simultaneously.

They’re those types of jokes that are so silly, they’re downright hilarious.

These jokes are perfect for family get-togethers, school pick-up lines, or just to brighten your kid’s day.

Get ready for the chuckles and the eye-rolls.

Here are some Humpty Dumpty dad jokes that will surely crack you up:

What did Humpty Dumpty’s doctor prescribe after the fall? A dozen eggs-tremely long bed rest!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after his fall? “You’re in good hands, don’t worry, we’ll put you back together!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his great fall? “I guess that’s what you call egg-splattering!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty call the doctor? Because he had an egg-cruciating pain!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go to the circus? Because he was afraid of getting scrambled by the clowns.
Why couldn’t Humpty Dumpty sleep? He kept cracking up.
Why did Humpty Dumpty throw a party? To show everyone he could put himself back together again!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an artist? Because he was great at drawing scrambled eggs!
How did Humpty Dumpty respond when asked if he wanted an omelette? He said, “No thanks, I’ve already had a great fall!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to wear a top hat? Because he didn’t want to “crack” under pressure!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friends at breakfast? “Omelette you guys finish before I join!”
How does Humpty Dumpty like to travel? By egg-plane!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he fell off the wall? He had a tough egg-sperience!
Why couldn’t Humpty Dumpty hide from the king’s men? Because he wasn’t exactly incognito!
How does Humpty Dumpty like his eggs? Scrambled, because he’s already had enough falls!
What did Humpty Dumpty say after he fell off the wall? “I guess you could say I cracked under pressure!”
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after the accident? He was shattered!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after his fall? He was absolutely shell-shocked!
How does Humpty Dumpty like his eggs cooked? He prefers them over-easy, not over the wall!
Why was Humpty Dumpty afraid of going to the art gallery? Because he didn’t want to crack up over all the egg-cellent masterpieces!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an architect? He wanted to design walls that could withstand falls like his.
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend at the top of the wall? Don’t worry, I’ll be back over easy!
Why did Humpty Dumpty take a nap on the wall? Because he wanted to have a little downtime!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? To crack up all the people passing by!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never join a football team? He was afraid of being cracked under pressure!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? I guess you could say I had a shell of a time!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? Because he had a crack in his shell.
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his fall? “Omelette you in on a little secret… I’m cracked!”
Why was Humpty Dumpty afraid of autumn? Because he heard the leaves could cause him to crack up!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his fans? “I’m feeling very egg-cited today!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his therapist? I’m cracked up and I need to be put back together!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an artist? He loved to draw egg-squisite masterpieces!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To learn how to be an egg-cellent student!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never play hide-and-seek? Because he was always too easy to find!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? Because he loved breaking eggs and making omelets!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the auto repair shop? He wanted to get his cracked shell fixed!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a great comedian? Because he always had egg-cellent timing!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his fans? I’m just an egg-stremely popular guy!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a towel with him? In case he had to scrambled away!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to get on a roller coaster? Because he didn’t want to be a shell-shocked egg.
What did the police officer say to Humpty Dumpty after his fall? “Do you have any yolk for me?”
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because it was an eggcellent vantage point.
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend who was always late? “Don’t be like me and fall behind!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend after his fall? Omelette you in on a little secret – it wasn’t as bad as it eggspected!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because he wanted to prove he had the best seat in the house!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never join a gym? He was already great at doing egg-cercises!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never have a good poker face? Because he always cracked a smile!
What did Humpty Dumpty’s friends say when he fell off the wall? “Looks like Humpty Dumpty cracked under pressure!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? He wanted to do some “egg-citing” stunts!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To get a few more cracks at education!
What happened to Humpty Dumpty after he had a famous fall? He had to have a lot of yolk therapy!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a great athlete? He always excelled in egg-cercise!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on a wall? Because it had the best Wi-Fi signal!
Why was Humpty Dumpty so good at sports? He always knew how to egg-cel!
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite workout? Egg-cercise!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a job at a construction site? He wanted to work on his egg-ceptional balance.
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the doctor? Because he had a terrible eggspression on his face.
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he won the lottery? He scrambled to tell everyone the good news!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a detective? He wanted to uncover the yolksters in town.
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the worker who fixed his wall? “Thanks for putting me back together again!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to wear a seatbelt? He wanted to feel like he was living on the edge.
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his fall? “I’m in pieces about it!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty make a great detective? He always left no “yolk” unturned in his investigations!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an athlete? He loved competing in the egg and spoon race!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for his terrible summer.
Why did Humpty Dumpty never join a gym? He was too afraid of falling off the treadmill and cracking up!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a great chef? Because he always knew how to break an egg!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a great chef? He always knew how to whip up a good omelette!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend who kept telling bad jokes? “You’re cracking me up!”
Why was Humpty Dumpty a great comedian? Because he always cracked up the audience!
What did the doctor prescribe to Humpty Dumpty? A dozen eggs-a-cise sessions a day to regain his strength!
Why was Humpty Dumpty terrible at telling jokes? Because he always cracked himself up before delivering the punchline!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a job as a baker? So he could learn how to roll without cracking up.
Why did Humpty Dumpty love to tell jokes? He always got a “cracking” response!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty after he gets his act together? “Sir!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a sunburn after his fall? He didn’t have any sunscreen-eggs!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go on a diet? He wanted to lose some “extra shell” weight!
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the ophthalmologist? He wanted to see if he could get scrambled vision.
Why did Humpty Dumpty always wear a helmet? To protect his “egg-cellent” brain!
Why couldn’t the king’s horses and men put Humpty Dumpty back together again? They didn’t have the right omelette ingredients!
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a band? He wanted to be the best egg-cussionist in town!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? “I guess it’s time for some shell-fie reflection!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on a wall? Because he wanted a high perch for his bird-watching hobby.
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to wear sunscreen? Because he didn’t want to be over easy!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never get invited to parties? Because he always cracked the jokes!
How did Humpty Dumpty celebrate his birthday? With an eggcellent party, of course!
What happened to Humpty Dumpty’s shell after the fall? It cracked up!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a good candidate for a circus performer? Because he had great eggs-celeration!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go on a diet? Because he wanted to become a little more hard-boiled!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the chiropractor? He needed help putting his “shell” back together!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his doctor? I keep feeling like I’m about to crack up!
Why was Humpty Dumpty so good at telling jokes? Because he had a “cracking” sense of humor!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? He wanted to be known as the greatest egg-cellent musician.
What do you call Humpty Dumpty when he’s sleeping? An eggs-ample of a peaceful nap.
Why did the king put Humpty Dumpty on the wall? To see him crack a smile.
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to wear a seatbelt? He wanted to feel the thrill of the fall!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he saw a salad? He had an egg-citing adventure!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after his fall? He was shattered, but he managed to pull himself together!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a pencil and paper? In case he needed to “scramble” some quick notes!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because he wanted to taste the heights of egg-citement!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty on a rainy day? Humpty Dump-ty!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To learn how to stay balanced and not crack under pressure.
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great sense of humor? Because he always had a crack-ing joke ready!
Why couldn’t Humpty Dumpty tell any good jokes? Because he always cracked himself up!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he couldn’t put himself back together? He called the superglue egg-spert!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to wear a helmet? Because it would mess up his hair!
What did Humpty Dumpty use to fix his broken shell? Egg-cement!
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his fall? “I guess I’m not cut out for this wall business!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a job as a chef? Because he heard the kitchen had a lot of scramble for eggs!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty’s famous painting? The Yolk-a Lisa!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a comedy career? He thought he could make people crack up just like him!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a dictionary? So he could understand all the egg-splanations!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when someone asked him how he was doing? Oh, you know, just trying to put the pieces back together!
How did Humpty Dumpty fix his cracked shell? With eggs-treme caution!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty on a wall with a cold? Humpty Flupty!
How does Humpty Dumpty like his eggs cooked? Sunny side up, of course!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an actor? He had great egg-spression skills!
Why couldn’t Humpty Dumpty ever go to college? Because he had a hard time getting over easy!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To get a little “eggucation”
Why was Humpty Dumpty a good chef? Because he always knew how to poach eggs perfectly!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? I guess I’ll just have to crack a joke about it!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go bungee jumping? He wanted to feel the thrill of a great egg-scape!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a detective? He had a talent for cracking cases!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to join the circus? He didn’t want to be known as the “egg-treme” performer!
Why did Humpty Dumpty bring a paper and pen to his therapy session? He wanted to write down all the egg-citing breakthroughs!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty’s girlfriend? His “over easy” companion.
How do you fix a broken Humpty Dumpty? With egg adhesive!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? Because he could never resist a good egg-beat!
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear a belt? To hold his pants up since he had a crack problem!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start working out? To build some egg-strength!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on a wall? Because it was the most egg-citing place to be.
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? Because he had an egg-cellent voice!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a terrible football player? Because he always ended up with a “shell” of a team!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to go on a roller coaster? He was scared of cracking up under pressure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go to summer camp? He didn’t want to be “scrambled” in the sun!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty? Don’t worry, we’ll have you back on your feet in no time!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go to art school? He didn’t want to be known as just a “shell” of an artist!

Humpty Dumpty Jokes for Kids

Humpty Dumpty jokes for kids are the classic nursery rhymes of the comedy world—safe, lively, and always creating giggles among the little ones.

These jokes stimulate children’s imagination and help them to grasp the fun side of language, nurturing a love for wit that’s as timeless as the tale itself.

Furthermore, Humpty Dumpty jokes for kids bring a whole new dimension to storytime, turning a familiar character into a source of joy and laughter.

Ready to crack up with some good-hearted humor?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them rolling with laughter just like Humpty Dumpty off the wall:

Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the art museum? He wanted to see some egg-quisite paintings!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a good comedian? Because he always had everyone in stitches!
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite breakfast? Eggs and soldiers!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty after he’s been repaired? Humpty Dumpty 2.0!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? Because he wanted to crack some eggs of knowledge!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he saw a goose’s egg? “That’s egg-sactly like me!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear a scarf? Because it was a little chilly on the wall!
How do you fix Humpty Dumpty’s broken shell? With egg glue!
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear a seatbelt? To keep from cracking up in the car!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he saw a chicken? “Oh no, it’s a potential accomplice!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the doctor? He had a cracking headache!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty? “I can put you back together, but you might be a little scrambled!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his fall? Omelette you finish that for me!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have trouble making friends? Because he always cracked too many yolks!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend after a great fall? “I’m feeling a little cracked up today!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the glue? “I’m stuck on you!”
Why did the king hire Humpty Dumpty as a bodyguard? Because he was good at “cracking” cases!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel when he was finally put back together? He was egg-static!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty when he tells jokes? The pun-king of eggs!
Why was Humpty Dumpty good at solving riddles? He always had a scrambled brain!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a pen and paper? In case he wanted to write a yolk!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the wall? “I’ll never crack under pressure!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend who fell off a ladder? “Welcome to the club!”
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he fell off the wall? He put himself together again!
How does Humpty Dumpty like his pizza? Extra toppings, but hold the fall!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a good athlete? Because he always had a great “egg-sperience”!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after his fall? “Egg-celent recovery!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty never tell secrets? Because he always “cracked” under the pressure!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after his fall? I’m afraid you cracked a few eggs.
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty? “I can fix your cracked smile!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear sunscreen at the beach? Because he didn’t want to crack under the sun’s pressure!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he saw a scary movie? He scrambled out of the theater!
What kind of glue did Humpty Dumpty use to try to fix himself? Egg-xtra strong adhesive!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the other eggs at breakfast? “Omelette you guys go first!”
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after his fall? Egg-cited to put himself back together!
What did Humpty Dumpty have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? He loved to whip up some egg-cellent dishes!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after his fall? Egg-static that he was still in one piece!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the wall? I’m tired of being scrambled!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To learn how to be a hard-boiled egg!
What does Humpty Dumpty put on his toast? Egg-celent!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? Because he thought it was the latest dance move!
Why did the chicken invite Humpty Dumpty to the party? Because he always brings the egg-citement!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the beach? He wanted to try out his new egg-sand bucket!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he saw a spider on the wall? He had a great “egg-scape”!
What kind of car does Humpty Dumpty drive? A shell-mobile!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his fans? “I’m breaking records!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To learn egg-celent things!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the wall? I’m coming back to sit on you, just don’t crack under pressure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash!
Why did Humpty Dumpty turn down the omelette? He didn’t want to be unscrambled again!
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear a helmet? Because he had a lot of cracks in his head!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the beach ball? “Hey, don’t you dare crack like me!”
What do you get when you tell Humpty Dumpty a funny joke? An egg-splosion of laughter!
Why did Humpty Dumpty bring a ladder to the wall? He wanted to climb up to new “egg-heights”!
Why did Humpty Dumpty bring a ladder to the art gallery? To see the egg-squisite paintings on the top shelf!
What kind of music does Humpty Dumpty like? Soft shell rock!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the king’s horses and men? “You crack me up!”
Why did the king send all the king’s horses and all the king’s men to help Humpty Dumpty? Because he didn’t want scrambled eggs for breakfast!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to a summer camp? To learn how to stay cool even when things heat up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to a football game? Because he wanted to see some great egg-samples of teamwork!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he saw a wall? He had to egg-samine it!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty after he falls off the wall and gets fixed? Humpty patchy!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To learn how to stop falling off walls!
What happened to Humpty Dumpty when he told a funny joke? He cracked himself up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a pencil? In case he made a mistake, he could always erase it!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when someone asked if he needed help? “No, I’ve got it all scrambled!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the beach? He wanted to see the tide crack!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty’s cousin who tells jokes? Humorpty Dumpty!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a good musician? Because he always cracked the egg-sact note!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the art class? He wanted to learn how to draw himself back together.
What did Humpty Dumpty say when someone asked how he felt after his fall? “I’m just a little shell-shocked!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? Because he had a great fall and wanted to make some egg-cellent music!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great summer? Because he had sunny side up all the time!
What do you get when you mix Humpty Dumpty and a detective? A scrambled egg-sleuth!
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the king? To ask for some egg-stra security!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the wall? “I’ve got my eye on you!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a hard time playing sports? Because he always cracked under pressure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because he was afraid he would always be found, sitting on a wall!
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the king? He wanted to get his own egg-chamber!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go to the circus? He was afraid of falling off the tightrope!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the beach? He wanted to soak up the sun and not worry about falling!
Why did the king hire Humpty Dumpty? Because he couldn’t find anyone else with such great egg-sperience!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a good hockey player? Because he always knew how to break the ice!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he saw a frying pan? He ran away, because he didn’t want to be sunny side down!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because he wanted a good view of the egg-citing show!
Why did Humpty Dumpty take a bath? To get his shell squeaky clean!
How does Humpty Dumpty like his breakfast? Scrambled, of course!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the wall? “I’ll be back up in no time!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty put a bandage on his head? Because he had egg-cident!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend who always makes him laugh? “You crack me up!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty love being an artist? Because he could draw his own shell-fie!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend at the gym? I’m trying to get a little more egg-ercise!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend who was afraid of heights? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the repair shop? To get a “crack” team to fix him up!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when someone asked him if he needed help? “No thanks, I’m just trying to put myself together!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great sense of humor? Because he never cracked under pressure!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty’s cousin? Omelette Dumpty!
Why couldn’t Humpty Dumpty sleep? He had too many egg-citing ideas!
What’s Humpty Dumpty’s favorite kind of music? Eggs-actly!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To learn how to sit on a wall without falling!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty after he gets a makeover? The omelette prince!
Why did Humpty Dumpty bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to reach the egg-splicit books on the top shelf!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the wall? “I’m sorry for cracking up all the time!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say when someone asked him to tell a yolk? “I’m all cracked up, sorry!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on a waffle? He wanted to have a sunny-side up breakfast!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the circus? He wanted to see the egg-siting trapeze artists!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to play baseball? Because he was afraid of cracking up the bat!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To get better egg-ucation and learn how to balance on walls!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty after he’s had a great fall? Humpty Dumpty scramble!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? Because he wanted to flip eggs instead of falling off walls!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he won the lottery? “I’m on egg-cited!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to play cards with the king? He was afraid of sitting on the wall and having a great fall!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he saw a refrigerator? He tried to crack it open to see if there were any boiled eggs inside!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after he fell off the wall? Don’t worry, you’ll be back on your feet in no time!

Humpty Dumpty Jokes for Adults

Who said adult humor can’t involve classic nursery rhymes?

Humpty Dumpty jokes for adults take a leap from the childhood playground, integrating sharp wit and a sprinkle of edginess.

Just like the famous egg himself, these jokes are delightfully delicate, balancing elements of humor, intelligence, and a hint of adult mischief for a cracking good laugh.

These jokes are ideal for cocktail parties, office breaks, or simply for adding a touch of humor to a grown-up chat.

Here are some Humpty Dumpty jokes that are perfect for adults:

Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to have a hard-boiled egg for breakfast? He didn’t want to tempt fate!
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the art museum? He wanted to see famous egg-spressions!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a job as a chef? Because he was good at breaking eggs!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? He thought he was too egg-cellent for the wall!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the chiropractor? He had a cracked spine!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? He heard they were good at breaking records!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to sit on a wall? He was afraid of getting “scrambled” again!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a garden? He wanted to grow his own sunny-side-up eggs!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he saw a frying pan? He scrambled away as fast as he could!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? Because he tripped over his own yolk!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after his fall? He was a bit scrambled, to say the least!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a job as a chef? Because he wanted to master the art of the perfect sunny-side-up egg!
Why did Humpty Dumpty try out for the gymnastics team? He wanted to see if he could stick the landing this time!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to take up boxing? He didn’t want to end up with scrambled brains!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the gym? He wanted to work on his shell-fitness!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after his fall? “I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re still in one piece, but the bad news is you’re scrambled!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a pencil and paper? In case he had to draw himself back together!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get into bodybuilding? He wanted to build a “shell” of muscles!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend who asked if he was okay? “Well, I’m not all I’m cracked up to be!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go to a party? He always cracked under pressure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become an artist? He wanted to master the art of putting himself back together again!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never make it as a singer? He couldn’t find a pitch that wouldn’t crack!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get invited to all the parties? He was always good at breaking the ice!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a terrible dancer? He always had a hard time cracking the rhythm!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend at the gym? “I’m “shell” shocked at how many sit-ups I can do!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on a wall? Because all the chairs were taken!
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his fall? “Omelette you guys clean up this mess!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the person who told him he had a big head? “Egg-cuse me!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a job at the construction site? Because he wanted to “break” new ground!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to eat breakfast? He didn’t want to become a scrambled egg!
Why did Humpty Dumpty try skydiving? He wanted to see if he could really fall apart and come back together again!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? He had a talent for cracking up the audience!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the chiropractor? He had a great fall and needed an adjustment!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his therapist? “I feel like I’m always being watched!”
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he couldn’t find his keys? He called a locksmith, but they couldn’t help him either because he forgot where he left them!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to encourage his friend? “You may have fallen, but you can still rise again!”
What did Humpty Dumpty’s doctor prescribe? Eggs-ercise and a lot of yolking around!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the gym? To get more egg-sercise!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his wife after his fall? “Sorry, I’m just a shell of my former self now!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the gym? He wanted to get back into shape after his fall!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? I guess I’ll just have to scramble out of this situation!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a detective? He was good at finding clues, but terrible at staying off walls!
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the chiropractor? He needed an egg-cellent adjustment!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? Because he didn’t have a good support system!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on a wall? Because he couldn’t find a chair that would support him!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a great chef? He always knew how to make an egg-cellent omelette, even after a fall!
What did Humpty Dumpty’s doctor prescribe for his broken shell? Egg-cercise and plenty of vitamin D!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a ladder with him? In case he needed an emergency exit!
Why did Humpty Dumpty take up boxing? He wanted to learn how to roll with the punches!
Why did all the king’s horses and all the king’s men refuse to fix Humpty Dumpty? They said it was an egg-stremely delicate situation!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a ladder? In case he needed to make a quick escape from the wall!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the wall before his fall? “I’m just trying to crack you up!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a weatherman? Because he wanted to predict his own “sunny side up” days!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the therapist? Because he was tired of being so fragile!
Why did the chicken refuse to help Humpty Dumpty? It didn’t want to be associated with someone who couldn’t keep it together!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell on a trampoline? “That was an egg-streme bounce!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a gym? To improve his egg-strength and egg-stamina!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get into bodybuilding? He wanted to be an egg-strongman!
What do you call Humpty Dumpty after he’s been put back together? Hard-boiled Humpty!
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a dance class? He wanted to learn how to break-dance!
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a gym? He wanted to get in shape before his big fall!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a chef? Because he wanted to learn how to make an omelette that wouldn’t fall apart!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after his fall? You need to be a little more egg-sperienced in balancing!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he saw a scrambled egg? “There but for the grace of gravity go I!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty make a terrible detective? Because he always cracked the case too soon!
What kind of music does Humpty Dumpty like? Egg-sperimental jazz!
Why was Humpty Dumpty always so happy? Because he always had sunny side up!
Why did the king hire Humpty Dumpty as his personal guard? Because he knew he would never crack under pressure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to wear sunscreen? He didn’t want to block his sunny side up!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the bakery? He wanted to buy some egg bread!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he couldn’t put himself back together? “Well, I guess I’m just not egg-cellent enough!”
Why couldn’t Humpty Dumpty sleep? He had too many cracks in his yolk!
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear sunglasses? Because he didn’t want to be recognized as an egg-cellent celebrity!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he won the lottery? He cracked a yolk-e!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to school? To get egg-ucated, of course!
Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he could finally fall without breaking!
Why did Humpty Dumpty hire a bodyguard? He didn’t want anyone to push him around!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he joined a band? He played the egg-shaker!
Why was Humpty Dumpty such a good athlete? He always gave a great egg-slam dunk!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a bad driver? Because he always “scrambled” the gears!
What did Humpty Dumpty’s doctor say after the accident? “I’m afraid we can’t put you back together, but we can make you into a great scrambled egg!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? Because he wanted to be an eggs-traordinary drummer!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go ice skating? He was afraid he would crack the ice!
Why was Humpty Dumpty such a good golfer? He had a great drive and never cracked under pressure!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a terrible baseball player? He couldn’t catch a ball without breaking!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to his friend who kept telling bad jokes? “I’ve had enough of your egg-saggerated humor!”
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he couldn’t find his keys? He scrambled around!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? He wanted to be part of an “egg”cellent music group!
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a gym? He wanted to strengthen his shell and avoid future falls!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a gardening business? Because he wanted to see the world from a different view!
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a gym? So he could work on his core and not crack under pressure!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? “I guess scrambled eggs are my destiny!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a band? Because he had a great egg-sperience playing the drums!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a detective? Because he wanted to solve the mystery of his fall!
Why did Humpty Dumpty wear sunscreen? To avoid becoming a sunny-side up omelette!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a private investigator? Because he always cracked the case!
Why did Humpty Dumpty always carry a dictionary? To understand all the “egg-cellent” puns!
What did the doctor say to Humpty Dumpty after his fall? “I’m afraid you’re a little cracked, but I can put you back together!”
What do you call it when Humpty Dumpty takes a nap? An egg-cident waiting to happen!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a job at the bakery? Because he was good at making turnovers!
Why did Humpty Dumpty start a comedy club? He wanted to prove he could make people crack up too!
Why did Humpty Dumpty get a job at the bakery? Because he wanted to learn how to roll dough without breaking!
Why did Humpty Dumpty hire a bodyguard? To protect him from pushy people!
Why was Humpty Dumpty a terrible gardener? He always cracked the plants!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? He couldn’t keep it together!
Why was Humpty Dumpty always so cheerful? Because he never had a bad “egg” day!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he fell off the wall? “I guess I just couldn’t keep it together!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because he wanted a high seat to watch the egg-siting game!
Why did Humpty Dumpty join a gym? He wanted to improve his shell-fie game!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a construction worker? He wanted to prove that walls could be safe!
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the detective? “I’m cracked, but I didn’t do it!”
What did Humpty Dumpty say to the chef? Can you make me some eggs-tra soft boiled?
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to join the army? He didn’t want to be scrambled under pressure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the doctor? He needed some egg-stra care after his fall!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to play cards? He always had trouble dealing with a full deck!
What did Humpty Dumpty say when he got a promotion? “I’m really egg-cited about it!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty bring a helmet to the wall? He wanted to egg-spect the unexpected!
Why did Humpty Dumpty become a gardener? He wanted to see if he could grow a new shell!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on a wall? Because it was a high perch to watch the birds fly by!
Why did the police arrest Humpty Dumpty? He was caught poaching!
How did Humpty Dumpty feel after the king’s horses and men failed to put him together? Poached!
Why did Humpty Dumpty visit the doctor? Because he had a lot of cracks to mend!
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a bandage on his head? Someone told him to get a scrambled brain!
Why did Humpty Dumpty go to the physiotherapist? To try and put himself back together again!
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his great fall? “I guess it’s time to start breaking some more eggs!”
Why did Humpty Dumpty never go near a horse? He was afraid of eggs-ercising!
What did Humpty Dumpty say after his fall? “I guess that’s what happens when you crack under pressure!”
Why was Humpty Dumpty always sitting on a wall? Because he couldn’t afford a chair!
Why did Humpty Dumpty take up yoga? To improve his balance and avoid falling again!
Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? Because he wanted to catch a glimpse of the sunny side!
Why did Humpty Dumpty try skydiving? He wanted to experience the ultimate free-range adventure!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never join a baseball team? He was afraid of getting cracked by a pitch!
Why did Humpty Dumpty refuse to play cards? He always cracked under the pressure of a royal flush!
Why did Humpty Dumpty never have any kids? Because he couldn’t keep his family together!

Humpty Dumpty Joke Generator

Cracking a good Humpty Dumpty joke can sometimes leave you feeling all scrambled.

(Couldn’t resist that one!)

This is where our FREE Humpty Dumpty Joke Generator comes to your rescue.

Incorporating smart wordplay, egg-straordinary humor, and whimsical phrases, it generates jokes that are sure to make people shell out laughter.

Don’t let your humor become hard-boiled and predictable.

Use our joke generator to hatch jokes that are as fresh and entertaining as the famous nursery rhyme character himself.

FAQs About Humpty Dumpty Jokes

Why are Humpty Dumpty jokes popular?

Humpty Dumpty jokes have been around for centuries, drawing from a well-known nursery rhyme.

They rely on the universally familiar story and image of Humpty Dumpty, allowing for playful variations and interpretations that resonate with audiences of all ages.

Can Humpty Dumpty jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Humpty Dumpty jokes can serve as a fun conversation starter, helping to break the ice in any social situation.

Given their universal familiarity, they can be enjoyed by both children and adults, making them a versatile addition to your comedic repertoire.

How can I come up with my own Humpty Dumpty jokes?

Start by familiarizing yourself with the original Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme.
Think about the unique characteristics of Humpty Dumpty – his shape, his unfortunate fall, the failed attempts to put him together again.
Consider incorporating wordplay related to eggs, walls, or falling.
Don’t be afraid to play with the storyline, introducing new characters or scenarios for a surprising twist.
Remember, humor often comes from unexpected places. Be creative and have fun with it!

Are there any tips for remembering Humpty Dumpty jokes?

Associating Humpty Dumpty jokes with the nursery rhyme itself can be a good memory aid.

You can also connect the jokes with situations where they might be relevant, such as breakfast time, or when you see an egg.

Practicing the jokes in front of others will also help cement them in your mind.

How can I make my Humpty Dumpty jokes better?

Making a good joke great often comes down to timing and delivery.

Consider the element of surprise and don’t rush to the punchline too quickly.

It can also help to understand your audience and tailor the humor to their tastes.

Remember, practice makes perfect!

How does the Humpty Dumpty Joke Generator work?

The Humpty Dumpty Joke Generator is a tool that crafts witty and entertaining Humpty Dumpty jokes at the press of a button.

Simply enter a keyword or phrase related to your desired joke, hit Generate Jokes, and voila, you’ll have a selection of eggcellent Humpty Dumpty jokes ready to crack up your audience.