962 Judo Jokes to Give Your Humor a Black Belt

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to grapple with the world of judo jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the champions of humor.

That’s why we’ve thrown together a list of the most hilarious judo jokes.

From dojo-inspired puns to sparring one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every facet of judo life.

So, let’s dive into the dynamic world of judo humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Judo Jokes

Judo jokes take the world of martial arts humor to a whole new level.

They’re not just about the sport itself, but also about the discipline, spirit, and even the painful lessons learned on the judo mat.

With its blend of power and grace, judo provides a rich arena for comedy.

Creating the perfect judo joke involves a mix of wordplay, unexpected falls, and even the sometimes inexplicable logic of martial arts grading systems.

Whether you’re a seasoned judoka or simply someone who appreciates a good chuckle, you’re sure to find these jokes amusing.

Ready to laugh till you fall?

Brace yourself for a judo throw of laughter with these judo jokes:

What do you call it when a judo match ends in a tie? A draw-dough!
Why don’t judokas ever gamble? They always know how to break even.
Why did the judoka always carry a vacuum cleaner with them? Because they wanted to clean up in every match!
What did the judo sensei say to the student who kept falling down? “I guess you just don’t have a grip on things!”
Why did the judo player go to the library? To check out some books on judo-ka-tion!
Why did the judo student join a band? Because they wanted to master the art of “throwing” down some sick beats!
Why did the judo student go to the bank? To learn how to properly throw a countercheck.
Why did the judo instructor go broke? Because he couldn’t break a board without charging a fee!
What did one judoka say to the other about their bad jokes? “You really need to work on your throw-telling skills!”
Why did the judo competitor bring a bag of fertilizer to the match? Because they wanted to throw some serious “grownds”!
What did the judo instructor say when his students weren’t paying attention? “Why are you all so unthroward?”
Why did the judo practitioner start a gardening business? Because they were great at throwing “roundhouse-kicks”!
What do you call a judo expert who can’t stand up? Grounded!
Why don’t judo fighters ever get cold? Because they always wear their throws!
Why did the judo class visit the art museum? Because they wanted to master the art of throwing!
What did the judo athlete say when they couldn’t find their opponent? “I guess they just didn’t want to face me!”
Why don’t judo practitioners like to fight bears? Because they’re afraid of getting panda-monium!
Why did the judo fighter bring a flashlight to the match? Because he wanted to shed some light on his opponent’s throws!
Why do judo students make terrible bakers? Because they can’t resist the urge to flip everything!
Why did the judo athlete always have a snack before a match? Because they needed some extra judo-energy!
Why did the judo player bring a pillow to practice? So he could practice his throws without hurting anyone!
Why did the judoka always carry a broom to the dojo? In case they needed to sweep their opponents off the mat.
Why did the judo practitioner always bring a pencil to their matches? So they could draw first blood!
Why did the judoka bring a ladder to the competition? So they could climb to victory!
What did the judo champion say when asked about their secret to winning? “I guess you could say I’ve mastered the art of throwing my weight around.”
Why did the judo champion go to the bakery? They wanted to try out their new rolling technique!
What do you call a judo practitioner who always loses? A “throw in the towel” kind of person!
Why did the judo instructor open a bakery? Because they loved rolling people like dough.
What did the judo referee say when the match ended in a tie? “I guess they’re both just outstanding opponents!”
Why did the judo player bring a ladder to the competition? In case he needed to reach for the higher belts.
Why did the judo champion switch to wrestling? He wanted to get a grip on some new opponents!
Why did the judo master refuse to be a comedian? Because they didn’t want to throw punchlines, only opponents!
What did the judo sensei say to the misbehaving student? “You better watch your manners, or I’ll throw you a lesson!”
Why did the judo champion refuse to eat sushi? He didn’t want to roll with the fishes!
Why did the judo sensei always carry a camera? Because they loved capturing Kodokan moments!
Why did the judoka refuse to become a chef? Because they didn’t want to be known for throwing in the towel!
Why did the judo champion switch to wrestling? They found it easier to pin opponents than to throw them.
How did the judo black belt become a millionaire? By inventing a throw-proof wallet!
Why did the judo athlete become a magician? Because they mastered the art of “disarming” their opponents!
Why did the judoka bring a car to the tournament? They wanted to drive their opponents crazy with their throws.
What did the judo sensei say to his students after they won a championship? “You guys really threw me for a loop!”
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to practice? Because they wanted to learn the art of “breakfalling” in comfort!
Why did the judo sensei always wear a belt? Because he wanted to hold his pants up while throwing down!
What do you call a judo player who works at a restaurant? A server who knows all the right moves!
What did the judoka say when they won a gold medal? “I guess you can say I threw the competition.” .
Why did the judo fighter go to the bakery? Because he wanted to prove he could throw dough like nobody else!
Why did the judo fighter become a chef? Because he loved tossing and flipping opponents, so he thought why not toss some pancakes!
What did the judo instructor say to his students who weren’t paying attention? “You better focus or I’ll throw you a curve!” .
Why did the judoka refuse to join a dance class? They didn’t want to confuse their opponents with their fancy footwork.
Why did the judo champion become a magician? Because they loved making their opponents disappear with their throws!
What did the judo coach say to the unenthusiastic student? “Don’t throw in the towel, throw your opponent instead!”
What did the judo teacher say to the noisy student? “You need to learn to be more mat-ure!”
Why did the judo fighter always carry a towel? In case they needed to throw in the sweat!
Why did the judo coach always get lost? Because he never knew which way to throw!
Why did the judo team go to the zoo? Because they wanted to practice their animal throws!
Why did the judo coach become a baker? Because he wanted to master the art of rolling dough (and opponents)!
Why did the judo student become a gardener? They enjoyed throwing their opponents into the “ground”!
What did one judo belt say to the other? “I’m always tied up in knots!”
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to practice? Because he wanted to take his opponents down for a nap!
What did the judo practitioner say when he couldn’t decide where to eat? “I’m grappling with the menu options!”
Why did the judo student open a bakery? Because he wanted to roll and throw dough all day!
Why did the judoka start doing yoga? They wanted to master the art of the throw-ga.
Why do judo athletes never get lost? Because they always know the right way to throw!
Why did the judo master open a bakery? Because he wanted to roll and knead in a different way!
What do you call a judo match between two coffee enthusiasts? A grounds throw!
Why do judo fighters always carry an umbrella? In case they need to throw some shade during a match!
Why did the judo practitioner become an accountant? They always loved throwing numbers around!
Why did the judo master go to the bakery? To practice his roll and breakfalls!
Why did the judoka bring a map to practice? So he could navigate his way out of his opponent’s throws!
Why did the judo player refuse to play cards with their opponents? They didn’t want to be dealt a bad hand!
How does a judo sensei greet their students? With a “Hi-yah” and a judo chop!
Why did the judo player bring a deck of cards to the match? So they could deal with any situation!
What did the judo coach say to the lazy student? “You’ll never make a black belt if you don’t get off your tatami!”
Why did the judo practitioner always carry a compass? So he wouldn’t get disoriented during a throw!
Why did the judo coach take their team to the park? To practice some throws in a grassy setting!
Why did the judo fighter become a comedian? Because they knew all the best jokes for throwing people off balance!
Why did the judo fighter refuse to play cards? Because he didn’t want to get into a throwing match!
What did one judoka say to the other in the bakery? “Let’s roll, but only if there’s no bread roll!”
Why did the judoka always carry a pen and paper? Because they were always ready for a take down note!
What did the judo instructor say to the clumsy student? “You need to learn how to break fall, not bread!”
What did the judo sensei say to the vending machine? “Give me a break!”
What did the judo sensei say when their student asked for a break? “No time to rest, it’s always uke time!”
What do you call a judo master who loves to cook? A “throw-chef” who knows all the right recipes for success!
Why did the judoka bring a pillow to the tournament? Because they wanted to win by throwing their opponents off balance!
Why did the judo student get kicked out of class? Because he couldn’t breakfall for the life of him!
What do you call a judo master who can’t find his way around? A disoriented thrower!
Why did the judo champion become a baker? Because they loved kneading dough and flipping opponents!
What do you call a judo player who loves gardening? A thrower with a green thumb!
Why did the judo athlete go to the bakery? Because he wanted to learn some impressive rolls!
Why did the judo practitioner always carry a bag of feathers? Because he wanted to practice his featherweight throws!
What do you call a judo match between two plumbers? A pipe-throwing contest!
What did the judo student say to their opponent at the sushi restaurant? “I’m about to ‘roll’ you, but not with sushi rolls!”
Why did the judo student always carry a broom? They were always sweeping their opponents off their feet!
Why did the judoka bring a pillow to the dojo? In case they needed to take down for a nap!
How do judokas greet each other? They say, “Throw you doing?”
What did the judo coach say to the student who kept losing matches? “Don’t worry, you’ll eventually find your “throw-mate”!”
Why did the judo champion refuse to fight on a rainy day? Because they didn’t want to slip up and throw away their victory!
Why did the judo instructor become a gardener? Because he loved throwing opponents into the compost pile!
Why did the judo student bring a map to the dojo? So they wouldn’t get lost on their way to throwing people.
Why did the judo master always carry a vacuum cleaner? Because he loved throwing dirtbags!
What did the judoka say to their opponent who kept interrupting their practice? “Please, just throw in the towel!”
Why did the judoka refuse to eat sushi? Because they didn’t want to “roll” with it!
Why did the judo master bring a ladder to the match? Because he wanted to reach new heights in throwing his opponents!
How did the judoka’s pet dog become a black belt? It mastered the art of paw-some throws!
What do you call a clumsy judo player? An oopsie-daisy!
Why did the judo belt break up with the pants? Because they couldn’t hold their relationship together!
What did the judo black belt say to the beginner? “Don’t worry, you’ll eventually find your throw-mojo!”
Why do judo fighters never make good detectives? Because they always end up throwing in the towel!
Why did the judo student join a circus? Because he wanted to perfect his aerial throws!
Why was the judo tournament held at the bakery? Because they wanted to have some sweet rolls on the mats!
Why was the judo match at the bakery so intense? Because they were rolling in the dough!
How did the judo student become the teacher’s favorite? They always knew how to “throw” the best compliments!
Why did the judo player bring a pillow to the match? So they could take their opponent down for a nap!
Why did the judo instructor wear a belt made of velcro? Because he always wanted to stick to his opponents!
What do you call a judo move that only works on Monday? A throwback!
What did one judoka say to the other at the buffet? “Let’s get ready to rumble (rolls)!” .
What did the judo sensei say when their students asked if they could take a break? “Sure, go ahead and throw in the towel.”
Why did the judo champion bring a map to the competition? So they could “throw” their opponents off course!
What did the judo black belt say to the white belt? “Kiai-n’t believe you’re not as skilled as me!”
What did the judoka say when he got a massage? “I’m feeling quite kneedy today!”
Why did the judo player bring a map to practice? So he wouldn’t get pinned down in one spot!
What’s a judo athlete’s favorite kind of music? Hip-Hop Throws!
What did one judo mat say to the other? I’m tired of being walked all over!
What did the judo student say to his opponent before their match? “I’m ready to throw down!”
Why did the judo practitioner always carry a broom? Because he wanted to sweep his opponents off their feet!
What did the judo player say to their opponent before the match? “Don’t worry, I’ll break your fall.”
Why did the judo champion always win at poker? Because they knew how to throw down the best hand!
Why did the judo student always carry a dictionary? Because they wanted to master all the “judo” wordplay!
What did one judoka say to the other before their match? “Let’s throw down!”
Why did the judo fighter bring a suitcase to the match? Because he was ready to pack a punch and throw some luggage moves!
What did one judoka say to the other after a hard training session? “That was quite the throwdown!”
What did the judoka say when he couldn’t find his gi? “I guess it’s time to throw in the towel!”
Why did the judoka refuse to ride the bus? He preferred to throw himself into every situation!
Why do judo players make great comedians? Because they know how to take a fall and make it funny!
What’s a judoka’s favorite type of candy? Judo-kisses!
Why did the judo athlete become an artist? Because they loved the art of throwing people around!
Why did the judo student become a chef? He loved tossing opponents and tossing salads!
Why did the judo student bring a pen and paper to practice? So he could take notes on his opponents’ throws!
How did the judo player become an expert at breakfalls? He just fell into it!
Why did the judo champion always win? Because he knew how to throw his weight around!
Why did the judo champion go to the art museum? Because he wanted to learn some new moves for his canvas throws!
Why was the judo match between the two ants so intense? They were grappling with each other in a “minature” showdown!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to class? He heard it was a great way to break his fall!
What did the judoka say when he finally perfected his throw? “I’m flipping out!”
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to class? So they could practice throwing people without hurting them.
Why did the judoka always carry a map? Because they never liked getting thrown off course!
Why did the judo student bring a ladder to practice? Because he wanted to level up his skills!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to practice? So he could take a quick nap in between throws!
Why did the judo fighter bring a pillow to the match? Because he wanted to throw some cushioning moves!
Why did the judo champion start a bakery? Because he knew how to roll his opponents!
What do you call a judo move that fails miserably? A total throwbie!
Why did the judo teacher always win arguments? Because he knew all the best counters!
What did the judoka say when asked about his favorite dance move? “Judo you think I’m dancing?”
Why did the judoka join a book club? To learn some new throws from the chapter on Judo!
How did the judo instructor become so strong? He mastered the art of “wax on, throw off!”
Why did the judo champion always excel at math? He knew how to count his ippons!
Why did the judo instructor open a bakery? Because they wanted to teach their students how to “roll” their opponents!
Why did the judo instructor open a music school? He wanted to teach people how to grapple with rhythm!
Why did the judo fighter become a gardener? Because they loved practicing their throws and sowing opponents!
Why did the judo player always bring a camera to practice? Because he wanted to capture every throw-tastic moment!
Why don’t judokas ever listen to music during their workouts? Because they prefer to beat the rhythm on their opponents instead!
Why did the judo athlete bring a pillow to the competition? So they could take down the competition with a “pillow throw”!
Why did the judoka refuse to play cards? They didn’t want to deal with any throws in the game!
Why did the judoka get a job as a sushi chef? Because he was an expert at rolling and throwing!
Why did the judoka enroll in a cooking class? Because he wanted to learn how to properly “judo” the ingredients!
What did the black belt say to the white belt? “Don’t worry, I’m just here to throw you a compliment!”
What do you call a judo instructor who refuses to fight? Sensei-tive!
Why do judo players make great detectives? Because they know how to take down suspects without leaving a trace!
Why did the judo student bring a ladder to practice? Because they heard the belt was the highest rank!
What did the judoka say to his friend who was feeling down? “Don’t worry, I’ll throw you a party to lift your spirits!”
Why did the judo team start a bakery? Because they wanted to make some sweet judo rolls!
Why did the judo instructor always carry a map? Because he was good at throwing people off!
Why did the judo athlete start a gardening business? Because he knew how to throw a garden party!
Why did the judo athlete bring a map to the competition? Because he wanted to throw his opponents off balance!
Why did the judo player always bring a pen to training? Because he wanted to take notes on how to “ink” the perfect throw!

Short Judo Jokes

Short judo jokes are like a well-executed throw—swift, surprising, and bound to leave an impression.

These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood during a judo practice, sharing on social media, or breaking the ice at a gathering of martial arts enthusiasts.

The essence of short judo jokes lies in their ability to strike a balance between humor and martial arts terminology, delivering a giggle with a swift one-two punch of wit and surprise.

So, get ready to grapple with laughter!

Here are short judo jokes that will throw you into a fit of chuckles in just a few words.

Let’s make this quick and tap out before lunch!
A hilarious throw-down!
Why did the scarecrow take up Judo? To learn some self-defense!
What’s a judo player’s favorite dessert? A judo chop sundae!
Why do judo players love math? They always have to count!
They wanted to explore new territories in their throws!
Because they wanted to count the number of throws they mastered!
Why did the judo athlete join a rock band?
A ground-breaker!
You need to find your balance both on and off the mat!
Why did the computer take up Judo? It wanted to Ctrl-Alt-Delete opponents!
What do you call a judo master who is always late? Tardy-jitsu!
Throwback hits!
Why did the judo champion start a bakery? For the rolling pins!
What’s a judoka’s favorite song? “Throw the World” by Pitbull!
A throw-rrible opponent!
What’s a judo’s favorite type of music? Throwback hits!
What do you call a judo player who always wins?
What’s a judo champion’s favorite ice cream flavor? Judo-fudge!
Why did the judo player become a chef?
Why did the judo champion bring a ladder to practice? High throws!
Why did the bread become a Judo expert? To defeat the toaster!
What do you call a judo champion who loves breakfast? A Judo-cakes!
Why did the computer start taking Judo lessons? To beat the virus!
Because they love throwing down some sick beats!
Why was the judoka always hungry? He never missed a meal-throw!
Why was the judo player always studying math?
Because they heard they would be practicing soft landings!
Why did the judo student bring their pet bird to practice?
Why did the scarecrow start practicing Judo? To learn self-defense!
Because they loved flipping opponents on the mat and in the kitchen!
Because they know how to roll with the punches!
What do you call a judoka who can’t swim? A sinking thrower!
What’s a judoka’s favorite type of sandwich? A judo-chicken!
Why don’t judokas like to go shopping? They hate getting thrown out!
Why don’t ants practice Judo? Because they already know Jiu-Jitsu!
What do you call a monkey who does Judo? A chimp-ion!
Why did the judoka bring a pillow to practice? For soft landings!
Why did the judo athlete always carry a snack? For judo-chops!
Throws Mix! It’s the perfect blend of nuts and throws!
How do judokas take their coffee? They throw it into the mug!
Why did the judo player become an artist?
What did the judo coach say when asked about their favorite snack?
Why did the judo champion become an architect? They loved designing throws!
Why did the judo player invite their friends for dinner?
Why did the judo champion become a chef? For the flipping techniques!
Why do judo players always carry a map?
What do you call a judo player who’s always late? A slow-jiro!
Why did the scarecrow take up judo? To protect his strawweight championship!
Why did the judo teacher become a chef? He loved throwing ingredients!
You better shape up or I’ll throw you out of here!
Why did the judo athlete start a garden? To practice judo-chops!
Because they wanted to reach new heights in their throws!
What do you call a judoka who’s always cold? Chilly Jilly!
What do you call a judoka who can cook? A skillet thrower!
What did the judo master say to the cat? Judo, not judon’t!
Why did the tomato start taking Judo classes? To become a Ketchup-on!
Why do judokas never get sunburned? They always stay in the shade!
Why did the Judo coach go to art school? For the throw-torial!
What’s a judoka’s favorite type of joke? A throwback pun!
Why did the judo champion open a bakery?
What did one judo practitioner say to the other? “Let’s throw down!”
Why was the judoka always calm and composed? Because they mastered judo-karma!
They wanted to show off their impressive throwing skills with food!
To master the art of the flying bird throw!
They loved creating beautiful throws on the canvas!
In case they need to find their way to the mat!
What did the judo instructor say to the clumsy student? You’re in-tumble!
What do you call a pig that knows Judo? A pork chop!

Judo Jokes One-Liners

Judo one-liner jokes are the embodiment of quick wit wrapped in a single sentence.

They are the verbal equivalent of a judo chop – swift, unexpected, and absolutely stunning in its execution.

Creating an effective one-liner requires a mix of sharp intellect, timing, and a deep understanding of the humor hidden within martial arts.

The task is to condense the buildup and the punchline into a brief format, delivering the highest laughter impact with minimal words.

Here’s to hoping these judo one-liners flip your frown upside down:

What did the judoka say when they discovered a new submission move? “I’ve got this one locked down!”
Why did the judo practitioner always carry a ladder? In case they needed to throw someone over the top rope!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to class? For “ground-breaking” falls.
I was doing so well at judo until I realized it wasn’t a competition of who can eat the most judo chops.
What did the judoka say to his opponent who couldn’t decide where to eat? “Just pick a restaurant, I’ll throw you there!”
I asked my judo sensei if I could borrow his belt, but he said it was a waist of time.
Why did the judo student bring a book to the dojo? Because he wanted to throw the book at his opponents!
Why did the Judo instructor always win at poker? Because they were an expert at throwing opponents off balance!
I tried to join a judo club, but they said I wasn’t flexible enough. Guess I couldn’t bend the rules!
Why do judo players always carry a map? Because they don’t want to get pinned!
Why did the judo champion always bring a loaf of bread to the dojo? To make sure they always had a good roll!
Why did the judo practitioner become a chef? He realized he could flip and toss ingredients just like his opponents!
Why did the judo player become an accountant? Because they were tired of throwing people and wanted to throw numbers instead!
My Judo skills are like a bad joke – they never quite land!
I asked my judo instructor if I could learn a new move. He said, “Sure, just throw me a suggestion!”
I asked my judo partner if he wanted to grab a bite after practice. He said, “Sure, but only if you don’t throw me on the floor.”
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to the dojo? Because they wanted to practice their throws on soft landings!
What do you call a judo match between two plumbers? A battle of throws and wrenches!
Why did the judo expert go broke? He spent all his money on throwing parties!
Why did the judo champion become a comedian? Because he always had the best punchlines!
I asked my judo instructor if he could teach me self-defense. He said, “Sure, just don’t attack me during class.”
What do you call a Judo technique that’s also a pizza topping? A pepperoni throw!
Why did the judoka open a bakery? He wanted to learn the art of rolling and throwing dough!
Why did the Judo champion refuse to fight against a bear? Because they didn’t want to grapple with a bare opponent!
What do you call a judo player who loves to tell jokes? A throwster!
Why did the judoka bring a pencil to the dojo? To take down some notes on grappling!
I tried to challenge a judo master to a fight, but they declined. They said they didn’t want to waste their skills on someone so throwaway.
Why did the judoka break up with their partner? They were tired of being thrown around in the relationship!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to class? Because they were ready for some serious throwing and falling asleep!
Why did the judo team always win the spelling bee? They always knew how to grapple with words!
Why did the judo match get delayed? They needed to find a better mat for all the throws!
I challenged my friend to a judo match, but he just flipped me off.
Why did the judo practitioner join a circus? They wanted to showcase their talent for throwing people off balance under the big top!
My judo instructor told me that I had a black belt in falling down. I guess I’m a natural at floor exercises!
What do you call a judo match between two sumo wrestlers? A heavyweight throwdown!
My judo instructor said I had potential, so I asked him if I could pay in installments.
What did the judo student say when he was asked to explain a difficult throw? “I’m still grappling with it!”
Why did the judo master start a gardening business? He wanted to throw people around in his spare time!
My girlfriend said she loves watching me do judo because it’s like watching a graceful swan. I think she needs to get her eyes checked.
Why did the judoka always carry a pillow to the dojo? To practice his throws without hurting his opponents’ feelings.
Why did the judo student bring a ladder to class? To reach the high ranks in no time!
Why did the judo class get a pet fish? Because they wanted to practice their throws with a “judo-fish”!
I signed up for a judo class, but it turns out I misunderstood and joined a jewelry-making workshop instead.
What did the judo instructor say to the disobedient student? You must learn to roll with the punches!
Why did the judo athlete never win any competitions? Because he always got a “chop-block” instead of a throw!
I joined a judo class to become more flexible. Now I can touch my toes while getting thrown to the ground!
Why did the judo instructor take a break? He needed to “throw” some ideas around.
Why did the judoka take a pillow to the tournament? For a soft landing when he throws his opponents!
Why did the judo master carry a map in his gi? Because he always knew where to throw!
Why did the judoka join a band? Because he wanted to master the perfect hip-hop throw!
What did the judoka say when they couldn’t decide on a movie? “Let’s just go with something that has a lot of throws and falls!”
Why do judo players never get lost? Because they always know how to get a grip on directions.
Why don’t judo players like going to parties? Because they’re always afraid someone will attempt a surprise “throw”down!
Why did the judo student always carry a towel? Because he liked to wipe the mat with his opponents!
My judo partner thinks he’s a master, but I always throw him off his game.
What do you call a judo master who loves to cook? A black belt chef!
What did the judoka say to the doctor? I think I have a throwing-up problem!
Why did the judo practitioner bring a bag of flour to class? Because they wanted to “throw” some punches in baking style!
How did the judoka win the poker game? They always had the best throws!
Why did the judo practitioner become an astronaut? Because he wanted to throw his weight around in space!
I joined a judo club for self-defense, but all they taught me was how to fall gracefully.
My friend tried to make a judo joke, but it didn’t land. It was a “mat”er of timing.
Why did the judo instructor go to the bank? He wanted to learn how to throw and pin his money down!
What do you call it when a judo player takes a break? A rest hold.
Why did the judo practitioner open a bakery? Because they were tired of throwing people and wanted to throw flour instead!
I went to a judo tournament and realized I was in way over my grapple.
Why did the judo master become an actor? He loved performing his throws on the big screen!
I told my friend I’m learning judo, and he said, “I bet you’ll never grapple with it!”
Why did the judo master go to the dentist? He needed to fix his throwing tooth!
I asked my judo teacher if they had any advice on how to win a fight. They said, “Just throw your opponent off balance… preferably onto the ground.”
Why did the judo coach always have a stopwatch? To make sure their throws were always right on time!
Why did the judo player always bring a pencil to practice? In case they needed to take down some notes on grip techniques.
Why did the judo student bring a picnic basket to class? Because his sensei said they would be practicing their rolls!
Why did the judoka bring a chef to the match? Because he wanted to serve up some throws!
Why did the judo instructor never get lost? Because he always had a good sense of direction-throws!
Why was the judo student always late for class? Because he couldn’t find the right throw!
Why did the judo player open a pet store? Because they wanted to master the art of throwing shade!
I asked my judo instructor if I could have a black belt. He said, “Sure, as long as you can tie it around your waist properly.”
Why did the judo expert become a comedian? Because they could effortlessly throw jokes and laughter around the room!
Why did the judoka bring a squirrel to the judo match? Because he wanted to practice his groundwork!
What did the judo practitioner say to their opponent at the sushi bar? “Prepare to be rolled!”
I tried doing judo once, but I couldn’t find the “punchline.”
Why did the judo champion go to the bakery? To get his daily rolls.
Why did the judo master refuse to go to the bakery? He didn’t want to roll with the dough!
Why did the judo student bring a pencil to class? Because he heard he needed to draw his opponents closer!
What did one judoka say to the other during a match? “I’m about to take you down, but don’t worry, it’s just a friendly throwdown!”
Why did the judo student refuse to play cards? Because they didn’t want to deal with a throw of a different kind!
What did the judoka say when they accidentally stepped on their partner’s toes? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take you down on foot!”
Why did the judo black belt become a chef? So they could throw their ingredients into the pot with style!
Why did the judoka bring a bag of feathers to the dojo? Because they wanted to throw a featherweight opponent!
Why did the Judo athlete become a comedian? Because they were tired of being thrown around, so they decided to throw jokes instead!
Why did the judoka wear a belt made of popcorn? Because they wanted to be a white-belt popcorn master!
I tried doing judo in a swimming pool once. Turns out, it’s called water-judo and it’s not as fun as it sounds.
I asked my judo instructor if I could practice on my brother, but he said it was a sibling rivalry throwdown waiting to happen.
Why did the judo instructor become a tour guide? Because they loved showing people the ropes… and throwing them!
I tried to learn judo, but it just didn’t click. I guess I’m more of a keyboard warrior.
What do you call a judo champion who can’t stop talking? A verbal judo master!
Why did the judoka never win a spelling bee? They always struggled with the word “j-u-d-o”!
Why did the judo sensei become a baker? He wanted to knead opponents into submission!
What did the judoka say to their opponent? “Don’t throw in the towel, throw me instead!”
Why did the judo match turn into a dance-off? The opponents couldn’t decide who had the best moves!
What did the judoka say when they accidentally broke a mirror? “I guess I’m too good at shattering things!”
What did one judo player say to the other when they met for the first time? “Nice to meet you, let’s throw down some moves!”
Why did the judoka go to the bakery? He wanted to roll in the dough before rolling his opponents!
What did one judoka say to the other after a successful throw? “That was quite a hip move!”
Why did the judo champion become a chef? Because he loved tossing ingredients into the pan!
My judo coach told me to always have a plan B. So now I bring a banana to each practice.
Why did the Judo practitioner become a chef? They wanted to perfect their throwing skills in the kitchen!
What did the judo master say when asked about their favorite type of music? “I prefer throwbacks, of course!”
I tried doing Judo once, but I just couldn’t throw myself into it.
Why did the judoka become a chef? Because they knew how to toss and flip things perfectly!
Why did the judoka bring a pillow to practice? So they could take down their opponents while they were still sleeping!
Why did the judo master become a poet? Because he had a way with throw-etry!
What do you call a judoka who only eats half of their meal? A half-guard!
Why did the judo competitor join a comedy club? He wanted to master the art of throwing punchlines!
Why did the judo champion always carry a tape measure? Because they were constantly “throwing” their weight around!
What did the judo instructor say to the unruly student? “I’m throwing you out of my class!”
Why did the judo instructor bring a map to the dojo? Because he wanted to explore new techniques!
Why did the judoka bring a parachute to the judo tournament? Because he wanted to practice air throws!
What did the judoka say when asked if they wanted to go out for dinner? “No thanks, I’m already sushi-ciently full!”
Why did the judo practitioner start a baking business? Because they wanted to roll and throw dough!
I asked my judo instructor if he knew any good jokes. He said, “I can’t tell you, they’re all “groundbreaking.”
Why did the judo athlete open a bakery? He wanted to roll his opponents into victory!
Why did the judo player become a chef? They wanted to perfect their technique for flipping opponents!
I asked the judo instructor if he could help me with my dance moves. He said, “Sorry, I’m all about “throws” not grooves.”
What did the black belt say to the white belt in judo? Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it, eventually!
Why did the judo champion always keep a suitcase with him? In case he needed to throw his weight around.
What did the judo coach say to the lazy student? “You need to stop judo-ing around!”
Why did the judoka start a garden? They wanted to practice their ground work with the worms!
What did the judo sensei say when asked about their secret to success? “It’s all about finding the perfect balance…and throwing it!”
Why did the judo teacher bring a picnic basket to class? To demonstrate the art of “throwing in the towel.” .
I told my judo instructor that I wanted to learn self-defense. He said, “Well, you’ve come to the right place. We have plenty of padding for when you inevitably fall.” .
Why did the judo champion go to the bakery? Because he kneaded dough!
What did the Judo sensei say to the clumsy student? “You need to break your fall, not the dojo floor!”
Why do judo players always bring a candle to practice? So they can “throw” light on the subject!
What do you call a judo expert with a sweet tooth? A “judo-nut.”
Why did the judo student get kicked out of the library? Because he couldn’t keep his books on the shelf!
What did the judo instructor say to the clumsy student? “You need to break your falling habit!”
Why did the judo student bring a map to the dojo? So they could navigate their way through all the throws and holds!
Why did the judo champion always wear a belt? Because he didn’t want to “hold” his pants up by himself.
My friend said he could easily beat me in a judo match. I guess he underestimated my ability to run away really fast.
What did the judo player say when asked why they loved the sport? “It’s the best way to throw my frustrations away!”
I tried using Judo to open a stubborn jar, but all I ended up with was a dislocated ego.
Why did the judo champion get a job as a comedian? Because they always knew how to throw a punchline!
Why did the judo team switch their training venue to the bakery? They wanted to perfect their rolls and bread-falls!
What do you call a judoka who never loses a match? Unbeatable!
I started doing judo to impress a girl, but it backfired. She ended up throwing me into the friend zone.
What do you call a judo champion who becomes a chef? A black belt in sautéing!
Why did the judoka wear camouflage to the match? He wanted to blend in and throw his opponent off guard!
I asked my Judo instructor if he had any tips for me. He said, “Just throw yourself into it!”
Why did the judoka bring a map to the tournament? To ensure they never got lost in the throws of battle!
What did the judoka say when he won the lottery? “Now I can afford to throw my opponents even farther!”
I told my friend I was going to try judo, and they said it was a grapple idea.
Why do judo fighters never get lost? They always know how to find their way through the throws.
I asked my judo teacher if I could wear a cape during class. He said, “Sure, if you’re ready to be the superhero of falling gracefully!”
How did the judo player become a gardener? They learned how to throw down some roots!
Why did the judoka bring a measuring tape to the match? To make sure their throws were always spot-on and perfectly measured!
Why did the judoka become an artist? Because they loved drawing people into their throws!
Why did the judo instructor become a chef? Because he wanted to master the art of throwing!
I’m not very good at judo, but I excel at judon’t.
Why did the scarecrow start taking judo classes? To get a grip on his straw opponents!
What did the judo instructor say when they saw a spider in the dojo? “Time for a web lock!”
My judo instructor told me to throw in the towel. So I did.
Why did the judo team start a band? Because they knew how to harmoniously throw their weight around!
What did the Judo student say to their friend who was afraid of starting martial arts? “Don’t worry, Judo-n’t be scared!”
What did the judo instructor say when they got a black belt? “Knot bad!”
What did the judo instructor say to the student who kept losing? “You’re not putting enough throw-ward effort!”
Why did the judo student become an expert in meditation? Because they wanted to master the art of throwing thoughts away!
Why did the judoka bring a watermelon to practice? They wanted to perfect their smashing technique!
Why did the judo instructor bring a map to the class? To teach the students the art of throwing someone off track!
Why did the judo instructor become a comedian? Because they loved throwing punchlines!
What did the judo sensei say to the student who kept falling down? You must learn to land on your feet, not on your face!
What do you call a judoka who forgets their moves? A blank belt!
Why did the judo champion always carry a measuring tape? So he could judo the distance between him and his opponents!
What did the judo champion say when asked about his favorite book? “Throwing for Dummies!”
Why did the judo champion never go to the beach? He was tired of always being thrown in the sand!
I joined a judo club to meet people, but I just keep getting thrown for a loop.
Why did the Judo student always have a snack during training? They believed in the saying, “You can’t go wrong with a Judo sandwich!”
What did the judo coach say to the student who couldn’t land any throws? “Don’t worry, you’ll get hip to it eventually.”
What did one judoka say to the other during training? “I’m really grappling with this decision!”
Judo is a lot like relationships, you need to know when to let go and when to throw.
Why did the judo champion always wear a belt? Because it held his pants up and his opponents down!
Why did the judo master become a comedian? Because he always knew how to throw out some killer punchlines.

Judo Dad Jokes

Judo dad jokes are a masterful mix of martial arts puns and wholesome humor designed to make you giggle and groan simultaneously.

They’re the kind of jokes that are so corny, they’re actually hilarious.

These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood at family events, dinner table chats, or just to bring a chuckle to someone’s day.

Prepare for the laughter.

Here are some judo dad jokes that are bound to throw you into fits of laughter:

Why did the judo master always have a map with him during competitions? So he could throw his opponents off the beaten path!
Why did the judoka open a restaurant? Because they knew how to serve up some amazing throws and rolls!
Why did the judo instructor never lose at poker? Because they always had the perfect grip on the cards!
Why was the judo student so good at making tea? Because they knew how to throw in the towel!
How did the judo student become a millionaire? By practicing “judo chop” on a money tree!
Why did the judo champion open a bakery? Because he loved rolling and tossing dough just as much as opponents!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to class? Because he wanted to learn how to break falls softly.
How did the judo instructor greet his students? With a “Hiya” and a judo chop!
Why did the judo student go to the bakery? Because he wanted to learn how to roll with the punches!
What did the judo coach say when his student asked for some tips? “Just throw yourself into it!”
What do you call it when a judo expert falls down the stairs? A high-level breakdown!
Why did the judo champion always bring a map to the tournament? Because he never wanted to get pinned in the wrong direction.
Why did the judo champion refuse to eat a burrito? Because he didn’t want to be a “Judo-bell”!
Why did the judo teacher bring a ladder to class? Because they wanted to show their students how to reach new heights in throwing!
What did the judoka say to their opponent when they won the match? It’s all about having a good grip on victory!
How did the judo student become an expert at throwing people? He put in a lot of “throwt” and dedication!
What did the dad judoka say to his son who wanted to quit judo? “Don’t throw in the towel, throw your opponents instead!”
Why did the judo master always have a good sense of direction? Because they knew all the right “throws” to take!
Why did the judo practitioner always carry a calculator? Because they loved doing “throw-bic” equations!
Why did the judo master open a grocery store? Because he wanted to teach people the art of throwing produce into bags!
Why did the judo athlete always bring a pair of binoculars to practice? Because he wanted to throw his opponents from a distance!
Why did the judo coach open a pet store? Because they believed in throwing caution to the “collar”!
What did one judo player say to the other at the gym? “Let’s take this grapple to the next level!”
Why did the judoka always bring a map to the dojo? Because they never wanted to get swept away in the wrong direction!
Why was the judo student always late for class? They were always grappling with their alarm clock!
Why did the judo student always carry a compass? Because he wanted to find his way to the perfect throw.
Why did the judo student wear a suit to class? Because he wanted to be dressed for the “throw-casion”!
What do you call a judo tournament in the Arctic? An ice throw-lympics!
Why did the judo athlete bring a car to the tournament? Because he wanted to drive his opponents crazy!
Why did the judo practitioner never lose any matches? Because he always had a grip on the situation!
How did the judo master become an expert at throwing his opponents? He took a lot of notes in his “throwing” journal!
Why did the judo instructor always win at chess? Because he was a master of pins and holds!
Why did the judo instructor become a baker? Because he wanted to show his students the importance of a good roll!
What did the judo sensei say to his students after a tough practice? “You guys really threw yourselves into it!”
Why did the judo student bring a ladder to class? Because he heard the teacher was a black belt in step stool.
How did the Judo player become a sushi chef? He mastered the art of rolling and throwing.
What did the sensei say to the judo student who kept losing his balance? “You need to find your center!”
Why was the judo dojo always so well-organized? Because they knew the importance of a good throw-down!
What did the Judo student say to the sensei? I’m tired of getting thrown around, can we take a break-fall?
Why did the judo athlete always bring a pair of sunglasses to the match? Because they knew how to throw shade on their opponents!
What did the judo coach say to his students before a tournament? “Remember, always go for the judo-chop!”
What did the judo practitioner say when they won a gold medal? “I’m on a ‘throw’ly different level!”
Why did the judo student bring his pet parrot to practice? Because he wanted to learn some “bird’s-eye throws”!
Why did the judo champion always wear a belt made of feathers? Because he wanted to be a judo featherweight!
How do you make a judo player laugh? You just tell them a “throwaway” joke!
Why did the judo champion always bring a raincoat to practice? In case they needed to throw their opponents in a downpour!
Why did the judo athlete bring a pillow to practice? So he could practice his throws and take a nice nap after!
What did one judoka say to the other during a match? I’m just trying to throw some humor into this!
Why did the judo student bring a compass to class? So he could always find his way to victory!
How do you know if a judoka is good at math? They always excel at throwing people around!
What did the judo referee say when he saw a great throw? “That was the pinnacle of judo-larity!”
Why did the judo coach always carry a deck of cards? Because he knew how to shuffle his opponents around the mat!
Why did the judo athlete bring a ladder to practice? So he could climb his way to victory!
Why do judokas make terrible secret agents? Because they can’t help but throw their cover away!
Why did the judoka become a chef? Because they love tossing and flipping ingredients, just like they do with their opponents!
Why was the judo tournament held in the library? Because it was the perfect place for some book-throwing techniques!
What did the judo instructor say to the student who kept losing his balance? “You need to grip the situation and throw yourself into it!”
Why was the judo coach a great chef? Because they knew how to flip a pancake and a judo opponent with equal skill!
Why don’t Judo players ever go camping? They don’t want to sleep on the ground, they prefer to throw on it.
What did the judo practitioner say to his opponent? “I’m just going to throw you for a loop!”
Why did the judo master go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to throw some serious shade!
Why did the judo champion always have a snack before training? Because they needed to fuel their throwing machine!
How do judo players like their coffee? They like it ground and thrown!
Why did the judo athlete become a baker? Because he loved rolling people like dough!
Why did the judo student bring a bag of almonds to the competition? Because he wanted to get a nut-throwing technique!
Why did the judo champion become a detective? Because he was always searching for the perfect grip!
Why did the judoka become a weather forecaster? Because they were great at predicting when a throwdown was about to happen!
What did the judo athlete say when he couldn’t find his gi? “I’ve been thrown off track!”
What did the Judo practitioner say when he won a championship? I guess you could say I really threw my opponents off balance!
Why did the judoka go to the bakery? To learn some sweet moves!
What did the judo sensei say to the student who was always late? “You better be on time or I’ll throw a fit!”
Why was the judo student always complaining about his training? Because he couldn’t get a grip on it!
Why did the judo instructor go broke? Because they couldn’t make any grip on their finances!
What do you call a judo champion who’s also a magician? A wizard of throws!
Why did the judo student wear a mask to practice? They wanted to throw some shade.
Why was the judo dojo always full of people? Because it had a lot of throw-rists!
Why did the judoka become a chef? Because he wanted to perfect his flipping techniques in and out of the kitchen!
What did the judo athlete say to their opponent before the match? “I’ll throw you a good time!”
Why did the Judo athlete always carry a map? Because he was afraid of getting disoriented during a throw-down.
Why did the judo champion open a bakery? Because he wanted to show everyone he had the best rolls and throws!
What did the Judo coach say to the student who couldn’t do a throw? “Don’t worry, it’s just a hip-illusion!”
Why did the judo competitor bring a pillow to the match? So they could throw their opponent into a soft landing!
Why did the judo champion bring a clock to the match? Because he knew it was always time to throw down!
Why was the judo tournament so loud? Because all the competitors were throwing shade!
What did the judo sensei say to the vegetable? Lettuce throw you!
Why did the judoka join the circus? Because they wanted to show off their amazing flips and throws!
Why did the judoka always wear a belt? Because they didn’t want their pants to get thrown off during a match!
What did the judo instructor say to the rowdy class? “Settle down, or I’ll throw you all out!”
How did the judo fighter become so successful? They always had a great grip on their goals!
Why did the judoka open a bakery? Because they knead their opponents in dough!
Why did the judo student always study during lunchtime? Because he wanted to be a “black belt-ist”!
Why did the judoka bring a loaf of bread to practice? Because he wanted to learn how to roll with the punches!
Why was the judo mat always tired? Because it had been grappling with opponents all day!
Why did the judo sensei always carry a map? Because he never wanted to get lost in the throws of the fight!
Why was the judo mat always so polite? Because it always said “Oss” before someone stepped on it!
Why do judo practitioners love gardening? Because they excel at throwing the seeds!
Why was the judo student always excited about training? Because they knew it was a “throw”-tastic opportunity!
Why was the judo match so loud? Because there was a lot of throwing and shouting!
What did the Judo instructor say when his student asked if he should use brute strength? Nah, just go with the flow and use your opponents’ energy against them!
What’s a judo fighter’s favorite dance move? The hip toss!
Why did the judo athlete always win the staring contests? Because he had a powerful grip on his opponents’ attention!
Why did the judoka always carry a bag of almonds to practice? Because he wanted to have a good grip during throws and snacks afterward!
Why did the Judo player wear his gi to the party? He wanted to dress to throw impress!
Why did the judo instructor become a comedian? Because he knew how to throw a great punchline!
What do you call a judo expert who’s also a musician? A sensei of rhythm and throws!
Why did the judoka bring a suitcase to the tournament? Because they were always ready to throw down wherever they went!
What did the judo master say to his students before they sparred? “Let’s get ready to grapple!”
Why did the judoka bring a ladder to practice? In case they needed a higher belt.
Why did the judo fighter wear a helmet? They didn’t want to get taken down by a headlock!
Why do judo fighters never get lost? Because they always know their way around the mat!
Why did the judo sensei always have a snack during training? He believed in throwing a punch with a full stomach!
Why did the judo master become a chef? Because they loved throwing ingredients into the pot!
What do you call a judo master who loves to garden? A green belt with a green thumb!
Why did the judoka bring a map to their training? Because they didn’t want to get caught in a throwaway situation!
Why did the judo practitioner take up gardening? Because he wanted to learn how to throw plants properly!
Why did the judo athlete bring a loaf of bread to the match? Because they wanted to throw some rolls!
Why did the judo coach go to the bank? Because he wanted to learn how to throw some cash around!
Why did the judo instructor become a chef? Because he loved serving up some “judo chops” in the kitchen!
Why don’t judo practitioners ever get lost? Because they always know how to navigate the throws!
What did the judo coach say to his team when they were feeling down? Don’t throw in the towel, throw your opponents!
Why did the judo student fail his math test? He couldn’t count the number of times he got thrown by his opponent!
Why did the judoka start a gardening hobby? They wanted to master the art of throwing and growing!
Why did the judoka always carry a bottle of soy sauce? Because they believed in adding some extra flavor to their throws!
Why did the judo coach always have a happy face? Because they knew all the “judo-chops” for success!
Why do judokas make great comedians? Because they always have a good throwback!
Why did the judoka always win at poker? Because they had a great grip on their poker face!
Why don’t judo players ever lose their balance? Because they always keep a firm grip on the situation!
Why are judo tournaments so noisy? Because all the competitors are always “throwing” their weight around!
Why did the judo coach go to the bank? He wanted to improve his “throws” per minute!
Why do judo players make great chefs? Because they know how to flip and toss with precision!
Why was the judo champion always so calm? Because they had mastered the art of self-control and throwing their opponents!
Why did the judo champion bring a pillow to the tournament? So he could take his opponents down for a good nap!
Why did the judo student open a bakery? Because he wanted to roll with the punches and knead his opponents into submission!
Why do judo players make great bakers? Because they know how to roll with the punches!
Why did the judo instructor become a taxi driver? Because he knew all the best ways to throw people in the backseat!
Why did the judo practitioner always win at hide and seek? Because they knew all the “throws” and turns!
What do you call a judo expert who can’t find his keys? A master of misplaced throws!
Why did the judo teacher start a bakery? Because they enjoyed tossing dough and flipping pancakes!
Why do judo practitioners never get lost? Because they always know how to redirect their opponents!
How do judo players greet each other? With a high “Judo”!
Why was the judo mat always so polite? Because it never wanted to make any rude throws!
What do you call a judo match between two birds? A featherweight championship!
Why don’t judo players ever get lost? Because they always know their way around the mats!
Why did the judo instructor carry a ladder? Just in case someone wanted to reach a higher rank!
Why did the Judo champion never get into trouble? Because he knew how to defuse any situation with a well-executed throw!
What do you call a judo move that’s also a piece of fruit? A pear-throw!
Why do judo players always carry a spare belt? In case they need to tie things up.
Why did the judo master refuse to play cards? He didn’t want to be caught dealing with a bad hand!
Why was the judo match like a math class? They both involved a lot of “throws” and “counters”!
What do you call a judo champion who can never find his keys? A “master of locks”!
Why did the judo instructor bring a math book to class? Because he wanted to teach his students some grappling equations!
What did the judo sensei say when asked about his favorite dessert? “I love throwing a good judo cake!”
Why did the judo athlete become a gardener? Because they loved throwing weeds to the ground!
What do you call a Judo player who moonlights as a comedian? A master of punchlines and throws!
Why did the judo student get in trouble at the grocery store? They kept trying to judo-chop the prices down!
What do you call a judo master who loves to dance? The hip-throw hop!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to class? Because they heard it was a great way to cushion their falls!
What did the Judo instructor say when asked about his favorite type of music? “I’m a big fan of hip-hop throws!”
What did the Judo student say when he couldn’t find his belt? “I guess I’ve thrown in the towel!”
Why did the judo champion become a police officer? Because they knew how to take down criminals without breaking a sweat!
What did the judo belt say to the judo pants? “You’re just a waist!”
Why did the judoka become a comedian? Because they loved throwing jokes just as much as they loved throwing their opponents in the dojo!
Why did the judo athlete always have good grades? Because he knew how to take down the competition in exams too!
What’s a judoka’s favorite song? “I Throw My Hands Up” by Judo-n Bieber!
Why did the judoka bring a pillow to their match? Because they wanted to throw their opponent with a soft landing!
Why did the judo instructor go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to throw his opponents with style!
Why did the judoka have such good posture? Because they never missed a chance to bow!
Why don’t judo players go to the bakery? Because they can’t resist the temptation to roll!
Why did the judoka start a gardening club? Because they loved tossing their opponents like they were plants in the air!
What did the judo coach say to his students after a successful match? “You really threw them off balance!”
Why did the judo instructor become a chef? Because he loved the idea of tossing opponents in the pan and serving them with a side of victory.
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to class? Because he wanted to practice his throws and take a nap at the same time – it’s called judo sleep!
Why did the judo instructor go broke? Because he couldn’t break anyone’s fall.
Why did the judo player become a tour guide? Because they could effortlessly throw people in the right direction!
Why did the judo athlete bring a pencil to practice? In case they needed to “draw” their opponent closer!
Why did the judo athlete take a pillow to practice? Because he wanted to master the art of throwing without hurting anyone!
Why did the judoka bring a pillow to practice? Because they wanted to master the art of soft-throwing!
Why did the judo champion go broke? Because he couldn’t hold on to his money!
Why was the judo tournament held in a bakery? Because it was the perfect place for all those sweet throws!

Judo Jokes for Kids

Judo jokes for kids are the black belts of the humor dojo, offering a playful punchline that’s as swift and fun as the martial art itself.

These jokes encourage kids to enjoy humor that’s fun, respectful, and connected to their interests, teaching them the art of laugh-tastic wordplay while enhancing their knowledge about Judo.

Plus, judo jokes for kids have the added benefit of promoting sportsmanship and discipline, turning a Judo session into a source of non-stop chuckles and grins.

Ready to roll on the floor laughing?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling over their Chopin:

How do judo players like their breakfast? With a side of judo-chops!
What do you get if you cross a Judo wrestler with a carpet? A flying rug!
Why did the Judo student bring a pillow to class? Because they wanted to take down their opponents with a soft landing!
Why did the Judoka bring his own sauce to the Judo competition? Because he wanted to win with extra “Judo gravy”!
Why did the judo athlete bring a pillow to their match? In case they needed to break their fall!
Why did the scarecrow take Judo lessons? Because he wanted to scare the pants off everyone!
Why did the Judo champion eat a clock? Because he wanted to have seconds.
Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
Why did the teddy bear join a judo class? Because he wanted to become a black belt in bear-hugs!
Why did the scarecrow take judo lessons? Because it wanted to learn some amazing straw-techniques!
Why did the scarecrow join judo class? Because he wanted to learn some self-defense moves against the crows!
What did one judo player say to the other? I can throw you for a loop!
Why did the judo student bring a ruler to class? So they could measure the distance of their awesome throws!
What did one Judo player say to the other? “I’m falling for you!”
Why did the judo student bring a ladder to class? Because they heard it was a high-level sport!
Why did the judo student always bring a map to class? So they could “throw” their opponents in the right direction!
Why did the teddy bear join judo class? Because he wanted to learn bear hugs!
Why did the judo champion always carry a towel? Because they were always throwing in the towel!
Why did the judo student bring a sandwich to class? Because they heard it was a good place to practice their rolls!
Why did the Judo wrestler bring a notebook to the match? Because he wanted to take down notes!
What do you call a judo expert dinosaur? A T-Rex-kido!
Why do judo students make good detectives? Because they can always take down the suspects!
What do you call a martial artist who loves to do judo in the water? A judo-fish!
Why was the judo class always so noisy? Because everyone was always shouting, “Ippon!” (the highest score in judo).
How did the judo student get a black eye? They accidentally stepped on the mat before bowing!
Why did the judo player never get lost? Because he always knew how to throw himself in the right direction!
Why did the judo teacher always carry a stopwatch? They didn’t want any students to hold them back!
Why did the Judo player bring a map to the match? So they wouldn’t get lost in the throws and pins!
Why did the Judo player bring a pillow to practice? So they could master the art of throwing and falling softly!
Why did the judo student wear a cape to class? Because they wanted to be a super thrower!
How do judo students invite their friends to a match? They say, “Meet me on the mat-tlefield!”
What did the judo master say to the misbehaving student? You’re really throwing me off!
Why did the Judoka always travel with a map? So he could find his way to the Judo dojo and never get “Judo-lost”!
Why did the judo player always bring a pencil to class? To draw his opponents into battle!
Why did the scarecrow join Judo? Because he wanted to learn to be outstanding in his field!
What do you call a judo player who can’t stop eating? A heavy-weight champion!
Why did the Judoka bring a ladder to the match? Because he wanted to be able to “climb” to victory!
What did one Judo mat say to the other? We better stick together!
Why did the judo student get in trouble at school? They couldn’t resist throwing their classmates around during recess!
Why did the judo teacher go to the bakery? Because they wanted to roll with the dough!
How do judo players like to communicate? They throw each other a message!
Why did the tomato take Judo lessons? Because it wanted to become a kung-fu tomato!
What do you call a Judo expert who loves to garden? A throw-er in the flower bed!
Why did the judo student wear a belt even when they weren’t in class? Because they wanted to hold their pants up with style!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to class? For some soft landings when practicing throws!
Why did the Judo champion always carry a pencil to his matches? So he could draw out his opponents!
What do you call a Judo expert with a sore throat? A judo-hoarse!
Why did the judo student bring a ladder to class? Because they heard the teacher said they needed to reach new heights!
Why did the judo student join a circus? Because they wanted to throw their weight around!
Why was the judo mat always such a great listener? Because it was always ready to take your fall!
Why did the judo student bring a shovel to class? Because they heard they were going to dig deep into their opponent’s defenses!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call a judo expert who’s also a comedian? A master of punchlines!
Why don’t pandas do Judo? They don’t want to get bamboozled!
Why don’t judo players ever get lost? Because they always know how to throw their opponents in the right direction!
Why did the judo student take a nap during practice? He wanted to learn some moves while he was fast asleep!
Why did the banana go to Judo class? Because it wanted to learn some self-defense-peel!
What do you call a judo champion with a broken arm? A one-armed bandit!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why was the math book good at judo? Because it knew all the right moves – it could count to ten!
What did the Judo instructor say to his students? Don’t let anyone break your fall!
What do you call a bear who does Judo? A panda “bear”er.
Why did the judo player bring a map to practice? So he could find his way around all the opponents he was going to throw!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Why was the Judo book so strong? Because it had a lot of chapters!
What did one judo player say to the other? I’m so good at judo, I can throw with my eyes closed!
What did the judo coach say to the clumsy student? “You need to breakfall more gracefully!”
Why was the judo mat always so popular? Because it had great throws and a soft landing!
What do you call a group of Judo-loving dinosaurs? “Judo-saurs” ready to take on any opponent!
What did the judo player say when he won the match? I’m on a winning throwll!
Why did the judo student join the circus? Because they wanted to show off their throwing skills as the Human Projectile!
What do you call a bear that knows Judo? A panda karate!
Why did the Judo player bring a pencil to the match? In case they needed to draw the line!
Why don’t pandas practice judo? Because they find it too difficult to “bear” the throws!
Why did the Judo student bring a map to class? So they could explore new territories in their training!
What did one judo mat say to the other mat? I’ve got you covered!
Why did the judo player become a teacher? Because he wanted to show his students how to throw success in their lives!
Why did the Judo student always carry a snack with them? They didn’t want to be caught empty-handed during a match!
Why did the Judoka bring a pillow to the Judo tournament? So he could have a soft landing when he throws his opponent!
What do you call a judo match between two trees? A branch-throwing competition!
Why did the judo student always bring a backpack to practice? He wanted to throw his opponents off balance with a surprise attack from his bag of tricks!
Why do judo practitioners make great detectives? Because they know how to handle tricky situations!
Why did the judo player bring a flashlight? So they could always “throw” some light on their opponents!
Why did the judo student go to the bakery? Because they heard they had great rolls and throws!
Why did the scarecrow enroll in Judo class? It wanted to learn how to tackle crows!
Why did the judo student bring a flashlight to class? Because they wanted to throw some light on the situation!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to practice? So they could practice their throws and have a soft landing!
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
Why did the judo champion always carry a map during competitions? So he could easily find his way to victory!
Why did the judo player start a bakery? Because he loved to roll his opponents over like dough!
What do you call a judo champion who makes movies? A throw-cumentary maker!
Why do Judo fighters like to wear belts? Because they need to hold their pants up!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
What do you call a Judoka who loves to eat? A Judo Chop!
Why was the math book great at judo? Because it always knew how to count on its opponents!
Why did the scarecrow join a Judo class? Because it wanted to learn how to throw its weight around!
What kind of music do Judokas listen to? Hip-Hop.
Why did the judo coach always carry a map? So they could help their students “navigate” their way through the throws!
Why did the Judo player become a chef? Because they love flipping pancakes and their opponents!
What do you call a judo master who can juggle? A throw-er of many talents!
Why did the judo player take a nap during the match? He wanted to pin his dreams down!
Why was the judo student always late to the class? Because they couldn’t find their way out of the dojo-maze!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What did the judo master say to the student who couldn’t do any throws? “Don’t worry, just take it in strides!”
What do you call a judo class for vegetables? Salad-tation!
Why did the judo player bring a pillow to the dojo? Because he wanted to practice his throws in bed!
Why did the tomato turn red during Judo practice? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What’s a judo champion’s favorite type of music? Hip-throw-hop!
Why did the judo student open a bakery? Because they wanted to roll more than just on the mats!
Why did the judo student bring a magnifying glass to class? So they could closely examine their opponent’s moves!
Why did the Judo player go to the bakery? They wanted to get a few rolls!
Why did the judo student wear a bandage on his head? He wanted to be a headband warrior!
Why did the tomato go to judo class? Because it wanted to become a “ketch-up” fighter!
What’s a Judo instructor’s favorite type of music? Hip Hop-kido!
What did the judo instructor say to the clumsy student? “You’re doing great! You’re a real trip throw-er!”
Why was the judo champion always so confident? Because they knew how to “throw” their weight around!
What did one Judoka say to the other after their match? “That was quite a throw-tally awesome!”
Why did the Judo student bring a ladder to the dojo? Because they heard they needed to climb the ranks!
Why did the scarecrow start taking judo lessons? Because it wanted to learn how to hold its ground!
What did the judo student say when asked about their favorite food? “I love throwing pizza parties!”
Why did the judo student carry a pillow to the class? Because they wanted to have a soft landing during practice!
How did the judo student do on their math test? They threw all the problems out of the equation!
Why did the judo player wear sunglasses during the match? Because he didn’t want to be thrown in the shade!
What did the judo teacher say when their students asked if they could practice their moves on the beach? “Sure, just make sure you don’t throw sand in anyone’s eyes!”
Why do Judo students make great artists? Because they know how to draw their opponents into their moves!
Why did the Judo student go to the bakery? To get a little roll.
Why did the scarecrow take judo lessons? So he could master the art of straw-kes!
What did one Judo belt say to the other? “I’m really tired of always being wrapped around you!”
Why did the judo player go to the bakery? To get some roll-doughs!
Why did the Judo player become a magician? They wanted to learn how to disappear in a blink of an eye!
What did the judo player say to his opponent during a match? “I’m going to flip you over to the winning side!”
Why did the judo student always carry a thermometer to the class? Because they wanted to measure their throws-perature!
Why did the computer sign up for Judo? It wanted to become a black-belt in CTRL+ALT+DELETE!
Why did the judo teacher bring a map to class? So they could show their students all the great places to throw!
What did the judo coach say to his students before the big tournament? “Don’t throw in the towel, throw your opponents instead!”
What do you call a judo expert who can predict the future? A judo soothsayer!
What did the Judo master say to the naughty student? I’m throwing you out!
Why did the scarecrow take up judo? Because he wanted to learn how to take down crows!
Why do Judo wrestlers like to watch movies? Because they love throwing popcorn in the air!
Why did the judo teacher always bring a dictionary to class? So they could define their moves with precision!
Why did the computer take Judo classes? It wanted to excel in cyberspace!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to their lesson? Because they heard they would be practicing their throws!
Why did the judo teacher bring a pencil to class? To draw some attention!
Why did the judoka bring a camera to the dojo? They wanted to capture all the throwback moments!
Why did the judo student practice on a trampoline? They wanted to bounce their way to victory!
What do you call a Judo wrestler who can’t stop laughing? A chuckle-thrower!
Why was the judo player always tired? Because he was always throwing himself into bed!
Why did the Judo player go to the circus? They wanted to learn new tricks for their throws!
What do you call a judo student who can juggle? A thrower and a catcher!
Why did the judo student take a nap during practice? They were tired of falling asleep during their throws!
What do you call a judo move that doesn’t work? A “don’t-judo” move!
How do Judo students greet each other? They say, “Judo know any good jokes?”
What do you call a judo expert who can also fix things? A black belt handyman!
Why did the judo student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
What do you call a judo player who can also sing? A throw-down singer!
What did one judo student say to the other when they were feeling down? “Don’t worry, we’ll throw this sadness away together!”

Judo Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t appreciate a hilarious judo joke?

Judo jokes for adults demonstrate a fine blend of sophisticated wit, a dash of sarcasm, and a touch of friendly combativeness.

Just like a well-executed judo throw, these jokes can surprise you, requiring a good understanding of humor, intellect, and a sense of timing.

These jokes are perfect for cocktail parties, get-togethers, or to break the ice before a martial arts class.

So, prepare to flip your humor on its head with these judo jokes that are perfectly tailored for adults:

Why did the judo athlete start a band? Because they were experts at throwing down beats and pins!
Why did the judo fighter bring a pillow to the match? Because they were tired of throwing people around and wanted a soft landing!
Why did the Judo fighter become a gardener? He loved taking people down to the ground and giving them a good root!
How did the judo fighter win the cooking competition? He used his special “chop and toss” technique!
Why did the judo fighter start a clothing line? He wanted to master the art of throwing fashion trends!
What did the Judo athlete say to the referee who made a bad call? “That was a throwaway decision!”
Why did the judoka refuse to take a break during practice? They didn’t want to throw in the “towel”!
Why did the judo match between the bear and the tiger get canceled? They couldn’t agree on who would be the throw-er and who would be the throw-ee!
Why did the judo fighter start a gardening business? He wanted to perfect the art of throwing plants!
What do you call a judo player who can’t stop talking? A chatter thrower!
What did the judoka say when they couldn’t find their belt? “I guess I’m just not suited for this tie-up!”
Why did the judoka decide to become a stand-up comedian? Because they knew how to deliver a knockout punchline!
Why do judo students make terrible chefs? They always try to chop the vegetables with a judo chop!
Why did the judo student always carry a map? So he wouldn’t get “tangled up” during a match!
Why did the judo student bring a sandwich to class? In case they got hungry and needed a “grapple”!
Why did the judo fighter always bring a stopwatch to practice? So they could “time” their throws perfectly!
Why did the judo player start a bakery? He wanted to perfect his throwing dough techniques!
Why did the judo player start a band? He loved the rhythm of throwing beats!
What did the judo champion say to his opponent? “I’m going to throw you a good one-liner after I throw you on the mat!”
Why did the judo fighter always bring a pillow to the dojo? So they could master the art of “ground and pound” without getting hurt!
Why did the judo referee become a chef? He loved giving out black belts and serving up blackened dishes!
Why did the judo instructor bring a ladder to class? He wanted to teach them how to reach new heights in their throws!
Why did the judo champion always carry a spare pair of pants? So he could “grapple” with any situation that came his way!
Why did the judoka refuse to eat sushi? He didn’t want to face the raw!
Why did the judo fighter open a pet store? He wanted to perfect the art of throwing a hissy fit!
What do you call a judo master who loves to clean? A sweepstakes winner!
Why did the judo player refuse to watch horror movies? They were tired of all the chokes and armlocks!
Why did the judo athlete go to the bank? To improve their grappling!
Why did the judo practitioner go to the dentist? Because he needed a good grip for gripping his opponents!
What did the judoka say to their opponent before a match? “I’m going to sweep you off your feet!”
Why did the judo player always carry a map? So he could throw his opponents off!
Why did the judo player start gardening? He wanted to master the art of throwing seeds!
Why did the judoka bring a banana to practice? He wanted to learn the art of slipping and throwing!
Why did the judoka take up gardening? Because they wanted to learn how to throw down!
Why did the judoka go to the bakery? They wanted to roll their opponents like dough!
Why did the judo practitioner go to the bank? Because they wanted to make a huge deposit of throws and pins!
Why did the judo athlete start a garden? She wanted to master the art of takedown and throwdown!
Why did the judo master never lose a match? Because they always had a “throw” of the dice!
Why did the judo instructor never get into trouble? Because they knew how to “pin” the blame on someone else!
Why do judokas always carry an extra pair of pants? In case they get into a tight spot!
What did the judo instructor say to the student who kept losing? “Don’t worry, you’ll eventually learn to break the fall!”
Why did the judoka open a bakery? He wanted to roll with the dough!
What do you call a judo champion who loves to dance? A takedown dancer!
Why did the judo champion switch to a plant-based diet? He wanted to prove that he could throw a “beet” with the best of them!
Why do judokas make terrible comedians? Their timing is always off!
Why did the judo coach become a magician? Because they knew all the tricks to make opponents disappear with their throws!
Why did the judo player take up gardening? They wanted to perfect their “throw and grow” technique!
What did one judo practitioner say to the other at the end of a successful match? “That was a real throwback!”
Why did the judo player become a chef? He loved tossing ingredients like he tosses opponents!
What did the judo fighter say to his opponent after a match? “I guess I really threw you for a loop!”
Why did the judo athlete bring a loaf of bread to practice? So they could “roll” with the punches!
Why did the judo player start a gardening business? Because he was great at throwing seeds!
What did the judoka say to their opponent? “You better breakfall in love with me because I’m about to throw you!”
Why did the judo fighter join a bakery? Because he kneaded a break from all the throwing!
Why did the judoka start a gardening business? They wanted to show everyone they had a green thumb… and a mean ippon seoi nage!
Why did the judoka go to the bakery? They wanted to learn how to roll like a pro!
Why did the judo player join a comedy club? He wanted to throw some punchlines!
Why did the judo instructor always bring a ladder to class? In case he needed to “reach” a higher level of teaching!
Why did the judo instructor become a comedian? He loved making people laugh, even when they were pinned to the ground!
Why did the judo instructor open a bakery? Because he wanted to “roll” with the dough and “knead” some techniques!
Why was the judo fighter always a good listener? Because they know how to take things in!
Why did the judoka bring a ladder to the dojo? Because they heard they were going to do some high-flying moves!
Why did the Judo practitioner bring a parachute to the tournament? Just in case they needed a breakfall from a higher altitude!
Why did the judo class take a trip to the zoo? So they could learn how to “throw in the towel” like the monkeys!
Why did the judoka open a bakery? Because they kneaded a break from throwing people around!
Why did the judo athlete go to the bank? He wanted to learn how to make a good throw of the money!
Why do judo fighters make excellent comedians? Because they always know how to throw a good punchline!
What did the judoka say to his opponent who kept avoiding his moves? “You can run, but you can’t uke!”
Why did the judo fighter bring a ladder to the tournament? Because he wanted to climb up the ranks!
What did the judo practitioner say when he won an argument? “I guess I just threw my point across!”
Why did the Judo student study psychology? To understand the mind games opponents play before a match!
What did the judo player say when they won the tournament? “I guess I really threw my weight around!”
Why did the judo team throw a party? They wanted to celebrate their victories with a good throw-down!
Why did the judo champion always carry a pencil and paper? To take notes on all the throws they learned!
What do you call a judo master who can’t stop thinking about his techniques? A judo obsessive!
What did the judo champion say to his opponent when he won the match? “You just got a taste of my ‘judo-tice’!”
Why did the judo player become a tour guide? He loved showing people around with his throws and flips!
Why do judo fighters never go to the bakery? They can’t roll with the punches!
What did the judo practitioner say when asked how they felt about their opponent’s strength? “I can handle them, I’m always ready to throw down!”
Why did the judo champion join a circus? Because they wanted to show off their incredible throwing skills and become the ringmaster of throws!
Why did the judo champion become a detective? Because they always had a grip on the case!
Why did the judoka bring a flashlight to practice? So they could throw some light on the subject!
Why did the judo fighter go to the bakery? He wanted to knead some dough in his opponents!
Why did the judo fighter become a musician? Because they knew how to “harmonize” their moves with the rhythm of the fight!
What do you call a judo expert who loves to play cards? A judo-cardiovascular player!
Why did the judo student become a comedian? Because they always knew how to “throw” the crowd into laughter!
Why was the judo champion always calm and composed during matches? Because they knew how to roll with the punches!
What do you call a judoka who won’t stop talking? A yaka-yaka-yaka!
Why did the judoka become a chef? Because they knew how to sauté their opponents on the mat!
Why did the judo instructor start a gardening club? Because they loved to plant their opponents face-first into the mat!
Why did the judo player have a hard time making friends? Because he was always throwing people off!
What do you call a Judo athlete who ate too many beans before a match? A master of explosive throws!
Why was the judo dojo always so clean? They were always sweeping their opponents off their feet!
Why did the judo champion always win? Because he had a great grip on success!
Why did the judo player always carry a pen and paper? So they could “jot” down their opponents!
Why did the judo athlete bring a map to the competition? To show he could take anyone down, no matter the territory!
What did the judoka say when asked about his favorite animal? “I’m a fan of throw-tles!”
Why did the judo athlete bring a camera to the tournament? They wanted to capture all the fantastic throws on film!
Why did the judo player always bring a bee to practice? They wanted to show everyone their killer sting!
Why did the judo fighter bring his pet monkey to practice? He wanted to learn some monkey flips!
Why did the judo player bring a pillow to the fight? Because he wanted to throw a knockout punch!
What did the judo coach say to his lazy student? “Quit being a throw pillow and start throwing people!”
Why don’t judo fighters ever gamble? Because they know how to throw but not how to roll the dice!
Why did the judo coach go to the bank? To improve his grip on the judo ‘chokes’!
Why did the judoka start a cooking show? They wanted to teach people how to throw down in the kitchen!
Why did the judoka bring a pillow to the match? In case they needed to ‘throw’ some sleepers!
What do you call a judo master who’s also a musician? A “judo chop”inist!
Why did the judo instructor bring a pillow to class? So they could teach their students how to break a fall with a soft landing!
Why did the judo fighter take up painting? He wanted to master the art of throwing shade!
Why did the judoka become an artist? He liked to throw paint at his canvas!
Why did the judoka become a detective? They wanted to solve the case of the missing throwdowns!
Why did the judo fighter become a stand-up comedian? He loved throwing jokes at the audience!
Why did the judo player go broke? He couldn’t break a board without paying for it!
What did the judoka say when they were asked to describe their favorite technique? “It’s unbe-leaf-able!”
Why do judo players make good detectives? They know how to take someone down and pin them to the ground!
How does a judo fighter deal with stress? They throw it away!
Why was the judo match so noisy? Because everyone was making a lot of noise, throwing their weight around!
Why did the judo champion become a chef? Because he knew how to throw a mean sauté!
Why did the judoka open a bakery? Because he wanted to show everyone his “roll”ing techniques!
What did one judoka say to the other during a match? “You’re really throwing me off my game!”
What do you call a judoka who only practices in the dark? A shadow thrower!
Why did the judo instructor open a bakery? Because they knew a thing or two about rolling opponents into delicious rolls!
What do you call a judo expert who joined a band? The master of choke-holds!
Why did the judo enthusiast start a fashion line? Because they believed in “throwing” together the perfect outfit!
Why did the judo instructor bring a ladder to class? To teach the students how to “take down” their opponents!
What do you call a judo fighter who becomes a doctor? A bone specialist!
Why did the Judo fighter open a bakery? He knew how to roll with the punches, but he preferred rolling dough!
Why did the judo champion become an actor? They wanted to perfect their “throws” on the big screen!
Why did the judo athlete fail as a stand-up comedian? Because all his jokes were “throws” of comedy!
Why did the judo practitioner open a sushi restaurant? He wanted to show that he could roll and throw in and out of the kitchen!
Why was the Judo instructor so popular? He had a knack for making people fall for him!
Why did the judo student bring a map to the dojo? He didn’t want to get “thrown” off track during his training!
Why did the judo fighter go to therapy? Because they had trouble letting go of their opponents!
Why did the judo practitioner bring a ladder to practice? So he could achieve a higher rank!
Why did the judo student bring a stopwatch to class? He wanted to time how fast he could throw his opponents!
What do you call a Judo match between two cows? Beef with a lot of throws!
Why did the judoka go to the beach? Because they wanted to practice their throws with the waves, but they kept getting thrown back by the water!
Why was the judo champion a terrible dancer? Because he could only throw moves on the mat, not on the dance floor!
Why don’t judo fighters like to go to parties? Because they don’t want to throw a punchline!
Why did the judoka refuse to compete against the pastry chef? Because they didn’t want to get caught in a sticky situation with all those danishes!
Why did the judo champion always have trouble sleeping? He couldn’t stop tossing and grappling!
Why did the judoka join a band? They wanted to perfect their throwdown moves on stage, of course!
Why did the judo student refuse to fight against a martial artist who specialized in headbutts? He didn’t want to risk being “thrown off balance”!
Why did the judo champion become a gardener? He wanted to throw plants instead of opponents!
Why did the judo player go to the bank? He wanted to check his balance after throwing someone!
Why did the judo student always carry a calculator? Because he wanted to calculate all the throws and take downs!
What did the judoka say to his opponent who was always complaining? “Quit griping and start throwing!”
Why did the judo instructor always have a dictionary in his gym bag? He loved throwing around definitions as much as he loved throwing opponents!
Why did the judo expert become a gardener? Because they could easily “tackle” any weeds that came their way!
Why do judo fighters make great friends? Because they always have your back!
Why did the judo fighter quit his job as a chef? He couldn’t handle all the chopping and throwing!
What did the judo practitioner say when asked how they were feeling? I’m just throwing around some ideas!
What did the judo champion say when asked about his training routine? “I spend most of my time grappling with the snooze button!”
Why did the judo practitioner become a chef? Because they knew how to perfectly toss opponents and ingredients into a delicious recipe!
What did the judo champion say to their opponent before a match? Get ready to be “swept” off your feet!
Why did the judoka always carry a bag of ice to practice? They liked to break the ice before throwing down!
What do you call a judo move performed by a clumsy fighter? A “slip and trip”!
Why did the judo fighter switch to a vegetarian diet? He wanted to master the art of throwing tofu!
How does a judo practitioner like his coffee? With a “ground and pound” of strength!
Why did the judo practitioner become a chef? Because he knew how to “flip” anything, including pancakes!
Why did the judo coach always carry a map? Because he wanted to show his students the path to victory!
Why don’t judo fighters ever get lost? Because they always know how to find their way back on the mat!
Why did the judo student bring a pillow to practice? He wanted to make sure he had a soft landing when thrown by his instructor!
Why did the judo practitioner become a chef? They loved using their expertise in tossing!
What do you call a judo player who loves to cook? A saucy chopper!
Why did the judoka go to the bakery? He wanted to get a little roll on the mat!
What did one judoka say to the other at the tournament? “I’m a big fan of your throws, they’re really hip!”
Why did the judo champion open a bakery? Because they knew how to “roll” with the punches!
What did the judoka say to their injured opponent? “Don’t worry, I’ll take you under my wing!”
Why did the judo fighter take up gardening? He wanted to perfect his “groundwork” techniques!
Why did the judo player bring a ladder to the match? So they could finally reach a higher belt!
Why did the judo player become a musician? Because he loved throwing down some beats!
What do you call a judo master who’s also a magician? A “throw” away from being a wizard!
Why did the judo champion bring a map to the tournament? Because they always find their way to victory!
What did the judoka say after winning a match? “That was quite a judo-cious victory!”
Why did the judo champion bring a broom to the match? To sweep his opponent off their feet!
Why did the judo player become a teacher? He wanted to throw some knowledge around!
Why did the judo player wear a crown during training? Because they were the reigning champion!
What do you call a judo player who never loses? A master of throws!
Why did the judoka bring a pillow to the tournament? Because they didn’t want to hurt their opponents’ feelings when they threw them!
What did the judo sensei say when his student asked if they should practice takedowns? “Uke can count on it!”
Why was the judo match a flop? They just couldn’t get a grip on the situation!
Why did the judo competitor always wear a helmet? To protect his thoughts before throwing his opponent!
What do you call a judo athlete who never gives up? A “judo-perseverer”!
What did the judo competitor say to the referee? “I’m going to throw a fit if you don’t count my points!”
Why did the judo champion always carry a map? Because he was always looking for new places to throw down!
Why did the judo practitioner refuse to eat chicken? He was worried it might be too “fowl” for his training!
What did the judo instructor say when his student asked why they couldn’t practice on the beach? “Because we’d be throwing in the towel too often!”
What did the judo enthusiast say when they saw a bee on the mat? “I guess even nature knows a good ground game!”
Why did the Judo champion join a circus? He wanted to show off his impressive throws and flips under the big top!
Why did the judo athlete start a restaurant? Because they loved to “toss” and turn ingredients to create unique dishes!
What did one judo practitioner say to the other? “I’m tired of all these throws. Let’s go out and grab a bite instead!”
Why did the judo player always bring a pencil to the dojo? So they could draw the line!
Why did the judo instructor always carry a pencil? So they could draw their opponents closer!
Why did the judo student get kicked out of the bakery? He couldn’t resist rolling all the dough into perfect circles!

Judo Joke Generator

Creating a judo joke that will have your friends rolling on the floor can be a bit of a throw-down.

(Do you catch my drift?)

That’s where our FREE Judo Joke Generator comes in to flip the script.

Engineered to weave clever puns, dynamic humor, and playful jargon, it crafts jokes that are guaranteed to make a striking impact.

Don’t let your humor get pinned down and stale.

Use our joke generator to generate jokes that are as sharp and lively as your judo skills.

FAQs About Judo Jokes

Why are Judo jokes so popular?

Judo jokes are popular because they cleverly incorporate martial arts terms and techniques into humor, making them enjoyable for both judo enthusiasts and those who appreciate good puns and wordplay.

They offer a fun way to reflect on the discipline, intensity, and intricacies of this combat sport.

Can Judo jokes help in social situations?

Absolutely!

Judo jokes can be a great ice breaker at social gatherings, especially among sports fans or those who practice martial arts.

They can lighten the mood and can be an engaging way to introduce others to the sport.

How can I come up with my own Judo jokes?

Understand the sport of Judo. Learn about its rules, techniques, and terminologies.
Identify words or phrases associated with Judo that could be used in a humorous context or for puns (e.g., throw, grip, dojo).
Think of common situations or scenarios in Judo that could be exaggerated or presented humorously.
Take a common saying or joke and give it a Judo twist.
Don’t shy away from playful word usage. Judo jokes are all about incorporating the sport into unexpected and humorous contexts.

Are there any tips for remembering Judo jokes?

Try to associate Judo jokes with specific actions or situations in the sport.

Remembering a joke about a throw, for example, could be easier if you visualize the action.

Also, sharing the joke with others can help you remember it better.

How can I make my Judo jokes better?

The key to a great Judo joke is surprise and context.

Understanding your audience’s knowledge of Judo can help you craft jokes they’ll appreciate.

The use of unexpected puns and wordplay can also enhance the humor.

Keep practicing and sharing your jokes to refine your comedic timing and delivery.

How does the Judo Joke Generator work?

Our Judo Joke Generator is designed to provide quick, punchy humor at your fingertips.

Simply enter keywords related to your Judo-themed humor or situation, and press the Generate Jokes button.

In a flash, you’ll have a series of witty, Judo-inspired jokes ready to throw at your audience.

Is the Judo Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Judo Joke Generator is completely free to use!

Generate as many jokes as you want and keep your friends and followers entertained with your sharp, Judo-inspired wit.

Don’t hold back, let the Judo jokes fly!

Conclusion

Judo jokes are a charming way to introduce a dash of fun to day-to-day banter, making every moment a bit more enjoyable with each chuckle.

From the quick and clever to the long and laughter-inducing, there’s a judo joke for every situation.

So next time you’re practicing a judo move, remember, there’s humor to be found in every grip, throw, and hold.

Keep delivering the laughs, and let the good times pin and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without judo—unimaginable and, frankly, a bit less dynamic.

Happy joking, everyone!

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