709 Martial Arts Jokes for a Knockout Dose of Humor
If you’ve landed here, it means you’re ready to step into the dojo of martial arts jokes.
Not just any jokes, but the black belts of comedy.
That’s why we’ve karate chopped together a list of the most humorous martial arts jokes.
From side-splitting puns to knockout one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every fighting spirit.
So, let’s embark on this journey of martial arts humor, one joke at a time.
Martial Arts Jokes
Martial Arts jokes are a punchy combination of comedy and combat, bringing a splash of humor to the disciplined world of martial arts.
They’re not just about the technique or the different disciplines, but also the quirks and idiosyncrasies that come with being a martial artist.
From the constant training to the art of mastering one’s self and opponent, the martial arts universe provides a rich canvas for light-hearted jests.
The essence of a good martial arts joke lies in the play of words, clever puns, and the amusing contrasts inherent in a sport that is as meditative as it is aggressive.
Whether it’s a quirky observation about the paradox of peaceful warriors, or the funny facts of life in a dojo, martial arts jokes will surely kick-start your sense of humor.
Ready to spar with comedy?
Brace yourselves for some side-splitting laughter with these martial arts jokes:
- Why don’t martial artists ever eat at fancy restaurants? They prefer to chop-suey their own food!
- What did the martial artist say to the rude opponent? “Don’t hit me, it’s against my dojo-tions!”
- Why did the Kung Fu master go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to brush off his enemies!
- Why did the ninja go to culinary school? They wanted to learn how to master the art of throwing knives in the kitchen!
- Why did the martial artist become a chef? Because he wanted to “stir-fry” his opponents in the kitchen!
- What do you call a martial artist who can’t find his way home? A roamin’ warrior!
- Why did the martial artist open a bakery? Because he wanted to specialize in roundhouse rolls!
- What did the martial artist say to the mosquito that bit him? “You just earned yourself a black and blue belt!”
- How does a martial artist greet his friends? With a high KICK-five!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent who couldn’t stop laughing? “I’m afraid I’ll have to karate-chop your funny bone!”
- What did the martial artist say when they opened a successful restaurant? “I’m on a roll!”
- What did one martial artist say to the other during a water fight? “Prepare to get soaked, grasshopper!”
- Why do martial artists make terrible comedians? Their punchlines are too powerful, they always knock everyone out with laughter!
- Why was the martial artist always so calm and composed during fights? Because he had mastered the art of Zen-chucks!
- Why did the martial artist become a dentist? Because he wanted to give people a knockout smile!
- Why was the martial artist always so calm? Because he had a zen sense of punch-line!
- Why did the martial arts instructor open a bakery? Because he wanted to make some dough with his high kicks!
- Why did the martial artist go to the bakery? He wanted to get a black belt in bread-making!
- What do you call a martial artist who owns a bakery? A black belt in dough-jitsu!
- Why did the martial artist take up gardening? Because they wanted to throw some deadly kung-powder!
- Why did the martial artist become an accountant? Because he wanted to make some serious kung-fu money.
- Why did the martial artist become an actor? Because he wanted to kick butt on the big screen!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into fights with animals? Because they know it’s impawsible to win!
- Why did the karate teacher become a comedian? He wanted to “kick”start his career with some laughs!
- What did the martial artist say to the hot dog vendor? Make it quick and choppy!
- What did the karate student say to his teacher? “Can I get a black belt in shopping?”
- Why did the martial artist go to the bank? He heard they were giving out roundhouse “kicks” in interest!
- Why did the martial artist start their own gardening business? They wanted to practice their kung-fu-sias!
- Why did the martial artist go to the bank? They wanted to learn how to roundhouse the interest rates!
- What did the karate student say when they broke all their boards? “I guess I have a black belt in splinter-arts!”
- What did the martial artist say to the pizza delivery guy? “Don’t worry, I can easily “chop” these boxes!”
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight the tomato? Because it had too many kung-fu sauce.
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight a bear? They didn’t want to start a kung fu panda-monium!
- Why did the martial artist meditate at the bank? Because he wanted to find his inner balance!
- Why did the martial artist become a comedian? He was tired of fighting and wanted to kick-start his career in stand-up comedy!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight the clown? Because he was afraid of getting sucker-punched with a rubber chicken!
- Why did the martial artist open a bakery? Because they knead the dough!
- What did the karate master say to his students? “Kick some asphalt!”
- Why did the martial artist always practice near the ocean? Because he wanted to master the art of sea-kicking!
- Why don’t martial artists ever meditate? They can’t sit still, they’re always kicking around!
- Why did the martial artist open a pet store? Because he wanted to teach his customers some paw-ssome self-defense moves!
- What did the martial artist say when he was asked if he could perform a flying kick? “Sure, but it might take me a while to get off the ground!”
- What do you call a martial artist with a cold? A “kung-flu” master!
- Why did the karate student take a nap during class? Because his instructor told him to kick back and relax!
- What did the karate instructor say to his student? “You must kick bad habits and chop away negativity!”
- Why did the scarecrow take up martial arts? Because he wanted to scare away all the crows with his ninja moves!
- What did the karate student say when he couldn’t find his belt? “I guess I’ve been “knot” practicing enough!”
- Why did the martial artist go to art school? They wanted to learn how to brush off their opponents!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight the magician? He didn’t want to get caught up in any tricky situations!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get locked out of their houses? Because they always have their keys in their “ki” pockets!
- Why don’t martial artists ever lift weights? Because they prefer to practice light combat!
- What did the martial artist say when he ordered a pizza? “Make sure it’s fully loaded, I want to practice my chopping skills!”
- Why did the kung fu master become a gardener? He wanted to practice his punches and grow some “kale-atays”!
- Why did the martial artist become a comedian? Because he had a black belt in punch lines.
- Why did the martial artist become a gardener? Because he wanted to practice his kung-fu-chopping skills on some veggies!
- Why did the skeleton start taking karate lessons? He wanted to have a little more backbone!
- Why did the martial artist bring a can of soda to the fight? Because he wanted to unleash his special punch!
- How do you make a martial artist smile? Throw a punchline!
- What do you call a martial artist who loves to travel? A roundhouse explorer!
- What did the martial artist say to the rude opponent? “You better check yourself before you wreck yourself!”
- What did the karate instructor say to the disobedient student? “You better obey, or I’ll make you a black and blue belt!”
- How do martial artists greet each other? With a high kick and a punchline!
- What did the karate instructor say to the mosquito? “Quit buzzing around, I’m trying to teach these students how to punch!”
- What do you call two martial artists who are dating? Kickin’ it!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to play cards with the other fighters? They didn’t want to get caught up in a roundhouse game!
- What do you call a martial artist who is always sleepy? Kung Snoo!
- What did one martial artist say to the other at the bakery? “Let’s roll… up some dough!”
- Why did the karate student go broke? He couldn’t break a board but he broke the bank buying boards!
- What did the martial artist say to the chiropractor? “I need an alignment for my chi.”
- Why don’t martial artists ever go to the bakery? Because they can’t handle the rolls!
- What do you call a martial artist who loves desserts? A kickboxing bonbon-anza!
- Why did the martial artist become an actor? Because he wanted to perform his own stunts in movies – and get paid for it!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to eat seafood? Because he didn’t want to fight with his mussels.
- What did the sensei say to the lazy student? “You better shape up, or you’ll be a roundhouse noob forever!”
- What did one martial artist say to the other during a duel? “I’m ready to kick asphalt!”
- Why did the karate student bring a pillow to the dojo? Because he wanted to master the art of soft punches!
- Why don’t martial artists make good comedians? Because their punches always land a little too hard!
- Why did the martial artist take up gardening? Because he wanted to learn how to throw a mean punchline!
- Why don’t karate teachers ever show up to work? They can’t “chop” their alarm clock!
- Why did the martial artist wear a belt with suspenders? To keep his pants from kicking too high!
- How did the martial artist become a sushi chef? He mastered the art of fish-kick-do!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get lost? Because they always know their way around a dojo!
- What did one martial artist say to the other during a high-speed chase? “We’re Kung Fu-ghting!”
- What did one martial artist say to the other during their match? “I’m a ninja-cing defeat!”
- What did the ninja say to the comedian? You’re a real joke artist!
- Why did the karate student fail his math test? Because he couldn’t count past a punch!
- Why did the karate champion get kicked out of the grocery store? He couldn’t find the chops.
- Why don’t martial artists ever get cold? Because they always wear karate-tees!
- Why do martial artists make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always hit below the belt!
- What do you call a martial artist who loves to gamble? A high-stakes fighter!
- Why did the karate teacher get into gardening? Because he wanted to master the art of chopping carrots!
- What did the sensei say to the aggressive tomato? You need to ketchup on your karate skills!
- Why did the martial artist join a band? They wanted to learn how to throw some killer chops!
- Why did the sensei bring a ladder to the dojo? Because they wanted to teach the students the art of high kicks!
- What did the martial artist say when he broke his toe? It’s just a minor setback, nothing I can’t kick through!
- Why did the taekwondo practitioner bring a pillow to the fight? Because he wanted to take his opponents down softly!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent after a particularly intense match? “You really knocked me off my feet!”
- Why did the karate student bring a sponge to their training session? They wanted to soak up all the knowledge!
- What do you call a karate chop that’s not funny? A bad joke!
- What did the martial artist say when he won a million dollars? “I guess you can say I’ve really kicked some cash!”
- Why did the martial artist open a bakery? Because he wanted to prove that he could still kick buns!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent during a sparring match? “Is that all you’ve got? It’s like you’re not even throwing punches, just air quotes!”
- Why did the ninja always carry a pencil and paper during training? To take notes on how to draw blood!
- Why did the karate student go to the library? Because he wanted to learn how to throw book punches!
- Why did the scarecrow take up martial arts? He heard it was a great way to “stalk” his opponents!
- What did the karate master say to his sandwich? Chop, chop!
- What do you call a martial artist who takes up fishing? A master baiter!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into fights at the zoo? They know the kangaroos have too many kickboxing moves!
- Why did the karate instructor get kicked out of the library? He refused to speak in whispers and kept shouting “HIYAH!” instead!
- What did one martial artist say to the other during a tournament? “Let’s kick some as-sashimi!”
- Why did the martial artist wear two belts? In case he needed to Kung Fu-sion them together!
- Why do ninjas always carry a blender? Because they like to make “smooth” moves!
- Why did the martial artist start a vegetable garden? He wanted to throw roundhouse cucumbers and spin-kick tomatoes!
- Why did the turtle become a martial artist? Because it wanted to shell out some pain!
- Why did the ninja go to art school? He wanted to improve his stealth and brush up on his skills!
- Why don’t martial artists like to play hide-and-seek? They always end up getting a roundhouse kick instead of a surprise!
- What did the karate master say to the vending machine? Give me my kick back!
- What did the karate master say to the pizza delivery guy? “You have 30 seconds to deliver or you’ll be chopped!”
- Why don’t martial artists carry umbrellas? Because they prefer to use their kung-fu grip!
- What did one martial artist say to the other? “I’ll kick you later!”
- Why did the judo master bring a pillow to the dojo? He wanted to take down opponents with a soft landing!
- How did the martial artist fix his broken toe? With Kung Fu-tape!
- Why did the martial artist bring a car door to the fight? So they could roll down the window of opportunity!
- Why did the martial artist bring a ladder to the dojo? Because they heard the belt was a high rank!
- Why don’t martial artists ever make good comedians? Because their punches always fall flat!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite type of clothing? Kung Fu-nny shirts!
- Why did the martial artist become a chef? Because he wanted to chop, kick, and sauté his way to culinary greatness!
- Why did the karate student bring a notebook to class? Because he wanted to take notes on how to “chop” his way to success!
- What did the martial artist say to the pizza delivery guy? “I’ll take it, but only if you can break a board with your hand first!”
- What did the karate instructor say to the student who couldn’t break a board? “Don’t worry, that’s just how you wood-n’t do it!”
Short Martial Arts Jokes
Short martial arts jokes are like a well-executed roundhouse kick—quick, surprising, and they always hit the mark.
These jokes are perfect for a quick chuckle in between sparring sessions, as a light-hearted ice breaker in martial arts classes, or simply to impress your friends with your wit and love for martial arts.
The beauty of short martial arts jokes lies in their ability to be both clever and punchy, delivering a swift laugh in just a few words.
So, get ready to laugh out loud, as we present you with short martial arts jokes that are sure to kick-start your sense of humor.
- Why did the karate instructor go broke? He couldn’t break boards anymore!
- Why did the martial artist open a bakery? For the sweet rolls!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite fruit? Punch-elon!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
- What did the karate instructor say to the disobedient student? You’re grounded!
- What’s a ninja’s favorite type of math? Kung fu-algebra!
- What do you call a clumsy martial artist? A kung-food fighter!
- Why did the karate instructor get arrested? He had a mean punchline!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite type of cookie? Roundhouse snickerdoodles!
- What do you call a vegetable that practices martial arts? A cauliflower!
- Why don’t martial artists ever carry cash? They prefer to use chopsticks!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite type of coffee? Kung brew!
- What’s a ninja’s favorite type of music? Stealth metal!
- What do you call a ninja who wears sandals? A sole assassin!
- Why do martial artists love gardening? Because they have black belts!
- Why did the martial artist join the circus? To learn some kick-flips!
- Why did the karate master get arrested? He couldn’t chop shoplifting!
- How does a martial artist greet their friends? With a hi-yah!
- What do you call a martial artist who falls down? A ninja-turtle!
- What do martial artists use to cut their grass? Kung-Fu mowers!
- Why did the martial artist start a gardening club? To learn karate-chokes.
- How did the karate master open his dojo? With a hi-yah!
- What do you call a lazy martial artist? A kung-fu slacker!
- Why don’t martial artists ever gamble? They know it’s a high-risk fight!
- Why do martial artists love gardening? They’re great at throwing punches!
- How did the martial artist become a detective? By mastering karate clues.
- Why was the karate instructor always broke? He had no cash-karate!
- What is a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? Sneakers!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into fights? They know the punchline!
- What do martial artists use to light their homes? Kick-andles!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite drink? Kung Fu-tea!
- Why don’t martial artists ever go broke? They always break even!
- What did one martial artist say to the other? Let’s spar-kle!
- What do you call a karate lizard? A reptile black belt!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into arguments? They know kung fu-sion!
- What do you call a ninja who is always late? Tardy-shi!
- Why did the scarecrow take up martial arts? For self-stalk defense!
- Why don’t martial artists go to fancy restaurants? They prefer chops-ticks!
- What do you call a skeleton who practices martial arts? Bone-lee!
- What did the karate master say to the naughty student? “You’re tae-kwon-naughty!”
- What did the martial artist say to their sandwich? Chop, chop!
- Why did the martial artist quit? He didn’t have enough kick!
- How does a martial artist make tea? Using Kung Fu-ction!
- Why did the scarecrow take up martial arts? To scare off crows!
- Why did the scarecrow start martial arts? To learn some self-defense!
- How does a martial artist answer the phone? “Hiiii-yah!”
- Why do martial artists love playing cards? They enjoy a good roundhouse!
- What did the martial artist say to the fly? Hi-yah, pesky bug!
- What do you call a bear who knows karate? A kung-fu panda!
- What did the martial artist say to the mosquito? Wax off, bloodsucker!
Martial Arts Jokes One-Liners
Martial Arts jokes one-liners are the epitome of quick wit expressed in a single, concise statement.
They’re the verbal equivalent of delivering a swift karate chop – unexpected, sharp, and amusingly impactful.
Creating a good martial arts one-liner demands a mix of ingenuity, brevity, and a profound love for the sport and its associated humor.
The challenge lies in fusing the setup and punchline into a brief form, landing maximum laughter with minimal words.
So, get ready to punch away your worries with these martial arts one-liners that aim to hit your funny bone:
- What did the martial artist say to the mosquito? “You better buzz off before I kung-fu slap you!”
- Why did the karate master refuse to join the circus? He said he already had enough board-breaking experience!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite kind of music? Hip hop-kido.
- Why did the martial artist become a musician? He wanted to karaoke chop!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent? “You better be prepared to throw in the towel!”
- Why do martial artists always bring a pencil to the dojo? In case they need to draw blood.
- Why did the karate master always carry a spoon? He wanted to stir up some trouble!
- What do you call a martial artist who can juggle? A sensei-tional performer!
- Why did the karate teacher get in trouble? He couldn’t keep his pupils in line.
- Why did the martial artist bring a pencil and paper to the dojo? Because he wanted to draw some fighting skills!
- What do you call a martial artist who’s always on time? Punctual arts!
- I asked a martial arts expert if they could recommend a good self-defense class. They told me, “Just carry a big stick and act like you know karate!”
- Why did the martial artist start a gardening business? He wanted to show off his impressive roundhouse plants!
- Why did the ninja get a job as a chef? He wanted to show off his chopping skills!
- Why did the karate instructor refuse to accept credit cards? Because he preferred to mastercard.
- Why did the karate student go to the bakery? For some well-rounded rolls!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight with his hands? Because he didn’t want to give his opponents a “hand” in the fight!
- What did the martial artist say when he won a chess game in one move? “Checkmate… or should I say ‘check punch’!”
- What did the martial artist say when asked if he wanted a rematch? “No thanks, I already knocked you out of my schedule!”
- Why did the sensei visit the bank? He wanted to learn some “karate” moves. (Karate = Carry tea).
- Why did the martial artist go to the art gallery? He wanted to learn some new moves from the brushstrokes.
- Why did the martial artist go to the bank? To learn how to punch up his savings!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into relationships? Because they’re always too busy breaking boards!
- Why did the ninja break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t see a future with him!
- What do you call a belt that holds up a pair of pants in a karate class? A waist-ty belt.
- Why did the martial artist always wear his belt? He didn’t want his pants to fly away during high kicks.
- What did the martial artist say when asked about his favorite TV show? “I’m a big fan of Breaking Boards!”
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight on Sundays? He believed in peaceful “karate-churchi”!
- What did the karate master say to the pizza delivery guy? “I don’t need a box, I can break it myself!”
- My friend asked me if I could teach him martial arts. I said, “Sure, but it will cost you a punchline.”
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight with a cheeseburger? Because he knew it was a juicy piece of ground beef!
- What do you call a martial artist who can cut down a tree with a single punch? Lumber-Jacked!
- Why don’t martial artists like to play hide and seek? Because they always get caught in their camouflage!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite type of shoe? Sneakers, because they’re always ready to kick!
- Why did the martial artist bring a pencil to his training session? In case he needed to draw some blood!
- What did the ninja say when he finished his workout? “I’m kung-FU-elicious!”
- What did the karate instructor say to the student who kept losing his belt? “Don’t worry, it’s a black-belt problem!”
- Why did the martial artist refuse to take the elevator? He said he preferred to take the stairs to practice his flying kicks!
- What do you call a martial artist who teaches at a university? A sensei-tional professor.
- Why did the karate student wear sunglasses during training? Because he wanted to throw shade at his opponents!
- What do you call a martial artist who can’t find his keys? A ninja who is always mis-placing!
- Why did the kung fu student bring a map to class? He wanted to master the art of direction!
- Why did the martial artist join a band? Because they wanted to throw some punches with the rhythm!
- What did the karate master say to the pizza delivery guy? “You have the right to remain saucy!”
- Why did the martial artist go to the bakery? He heard they had good rolls.
- Why did the martial artist join a dance class? He wanted to kick up his heels!
- Why did the martial artist go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to punch up his drawings!
- Why was the martial artist a terrible chef? Because he could never properly “chop” vegetables!
- I tried to learn martial arts, but all I ended up mastering was the art of ordering takeout.
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight a musician? He didn’t want to face the music!
- Why did the martial artist get a job at the bakery? Because he wanted to knead some dough and practice his punches!
- Why did the boxer bring a map to the fight? Because he wanted to be able to find his way around the ring!
- Why did the karate student go to the bakery? To get his black belt in rolls!
- What did the martial artist say when he won a million dollars? I’m a kick-a-millionaire!
- Why do martial artists bring candles to their fights? Because they like to light up the competition!
- Why did the karate master refuse to fight a kangaroo? Because he didn’t want to kick a marsupial’s butt!
- What’s a karate instructor’s favorite type of music? Chopsticks!
- Why did the martial artist become a rapper? He wanted to throw some sick punch-lines!
- What did the martial artist say when he opened a bakery? “I’m kneading dough and taking names!”
- What did one martial artist say to the other during their fight? “Stop hitting below the belt, I need that for my pants!”
- What do you call a martial artist who does laundry? A laundry-chop!
- Why did the martial artist bring a ladder to his training session? Because he wanted to reach new heights in his kicks!
- I asked the karate instructor how to break a board with my bare hands. He told me to start by calling it a bad name.
- Why did the taekwondo master go to the bank? He wanted to improve his kicks with some high-interest rates!
- Why did the martial artist always carry a map? So he could find his way to the nearest dojo!
- Why don’t martial artists ever gamble? Because they know all the right moves to avoid a punch line!
- Why was the martial artist always broke? Because he couldn’t break a dollar.
- Why don’t martial artists ever become comedians? Because their punchlines are always too intense!
- Why was the martial artist always broke? Because he could never find a karate-atm!
- Why did the martial artist bring a ladder to his boxing match? Because he wanted to be a step above his opponent!
- What do you call a ninja who is always one step behind? A shadowfax!
- Why did the martial artist always bring a map to his fights? He didn’t want to lose his way to victory.
- Why did the ninja refuse to work at the pizza place? Because they only offered black belt pepperoni, and he preferred a full rainbow of toppings!
- Why did the karate champion always have a messy room? Because he couldn’t resist breaking furniture!
- I asked my sensei if he could teach me how to do a backflip. He said, “Sure, it’s all a matter of just falling in the right direction.”
- Why did the karate instructor refuse to become a chef? Because he didn’t want to chop vegetables, he wanted to chop boards.
- I went to a martial arts class, but it turned out to be a kickboxing workout. I guess I really kicked myself for that one.
- Why did the karate student quit his training? He couldn’t make any progress, he was stuck at the white belt level.
- What did the martial artist say to the bad guy? Chop chop, I’m in a hurry!
- Why did the martial artist go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to paint the town red… with his opponents’ blood!
- What did the martial artist say when he couldn’t find his shoes? “I guess I’m going bare-foot-sai-ed!”
- Why did the Jiu-Jitsu practitioner become a detective? Because he was tired of people always trying to choke him out!
- Why did the martial artist start a comedy club? He wanted to make people laugh until they were black and blue in the face!
- Why did the karate master go broke? Because he couldn’t make any cents.
- What did the martial artist say to his reflection? “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the toughest of them all?”
- My martial arts instructor told me to be like water. So now I just spill everything I learn.
- Why did the martial artist refuse to take up gardening? Because he didn’t want to be a kung-fu-shionista!
- What did the black belt say to the unruly punch bag? “You better kick-start your behavior!”
- Why did the martial artist refuse to go to the seafood buffet? He didn’t want to krill anyone’s appetite!
- Why did the karate student wear a belt with a rectangle buckle? Because he wanted to be a black belt in origami!
- Why did the boxer become an astronaut? He wanted to float like a butterfly in space.
- Why do martial artists make great dancers? Because they have fantastic “kicks”!
- Why did the karate instructor refuse to fight the refrigerator? It was a cold opponent!
- Why did the judo master become a dentist? He wanted to throw people off balance with his root canals!
- What did the martial artist say when he broke his toe? “I guess I should’ve kicked that a little harder.” .
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight on the beach? He didn’t want to get sand-kicked!
- What do you call a martial artist who’s afraid of spiders? Arachno-phobia fighter!
- Why don’t martial artists ever bring their wallets to class? Because they’re afraid of getting robbed!
- Why did the karate student get bad grades? Because he couldn’t kick his study habits into gear.
- What do you call a martial artist who becomes a musician? A chopsticks player!
- Why did the karate student always bring a pencil to class? In case he needed to draw a line in the sand!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to go to the grocery store? Because he already had a black belt in shopping!
- What did the karate instructor say to his students? Chop chop, time to get serious!
- What’s a ninja’s favorite kind of shoes? Sneakers, of course!
- Why did the sensei refuse to teach his students how to swim? He said they should focus on their karate chops instead of karate strokes!
- Why did the karate master go to art school? Because he wanted to earn his black belt in drawing!
- What did the martial artist say when he couldn’t find his pants? “Looks like I’m going commando… karate style!”
- Why did the ninja go to the dentist? To get a fang check-up!
- Why did the karate student get kicked out of class? He couldn’t control his chop-temper!
- I asked my martial arts instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you with your payments?”
- Why do martial artists make terrible chefs? Because they always chop everything in sight!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite type of music? Chopstick music!
- Why did the karate champion bring a ladder to the fight? Because he wanted to take his opponent to a whole new level!
- What do you get when you mix a martial artist and a magician? A karate-chopra!
- Why did the martial artist bring a mirror to the fight? So he could see himself kicking butt!
- Why did the martial artist always bring a ladder to his fights? Because he wanted to take his opponents to a higher level!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he didn’t want to reveal his hand-to-hand combat skills!
- Why did the judo practitioner always win at poker? He knew how to throw down his opponents!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to play cards? Because he didn’t want to be a part of any hand-to-hand combat!
- What did the martial artist say when they found out they won the lottery? “I’m a jackpot-kick!”
- Why did the martial artist start a garden? Because he wanted to master the art of plant-based self-defense!
- What did the martial artist say to the pizza delivery guy? “Sorry, I can’t handle the slice right now.” .
- Why did the ninja go to culinary school? Because he wanted to learn how to chop suey!
- Why did the Taekwondo instructor bring a pencil to class? Because he wanted to do some serious pencak-silat!
- Why did the karate instructor break up with his girlfriend? Because she couldn’t see a future with a guy who couldn’t commit to a relationship, but could commit to breaking boards.
- Why did the martial artist refuse to go to the party? He didn’t want to break any boards, just break a leg.
- Why did the martial artist always carry a pencil and paper? Because he believed in drawing from his chi!
- Why did the sensei bring a notebook to class? He wanted to jot down all the punch lines!
Martial Arts Dad Jokes
Martial Arts dad jokes are the perfect mix of wit and humor, combining elements of karate, judo, kung fu, and more to deliver a punch line that’s bound to make you laugh and groan simultaneously.
These are the kind of jokes that are so silly, they’re actually clever.
They’re ideal for family get-togethers, friendly sparring sessions, or simply to add a touch of fun to your day.
Prepare yourself for the belly laughs and eye-rolls.
Here are some Martial Arts dad jokes that will surely kick up your spirits:
- Why did the karate student go to the bakery? Because he needed to learn how to roll with the punches!
- Why did the martial artist join the circus? Because they wanted to show off their incredible flying kicks!
- Why did the martial artist go to the bank? To improve his jiu-jitsu moves and learn to arm-bar-gain!
- Why do martial artists never go to parties? Because they don’t want to kick up a fuss!
- Why did the karate teacher go broke? Because he couldn’t break a board without charging a fee.
- Why was the karate instructor always so flexible? Because he could always roll with the punches!
- Why did the ninja enroll in cooking classes? So he could learn how to throw a mean stir-fry!
- Why was the karate class so small? Because they only wanted to teach a handful of students the martial-arts of self-defense!
- Why don’t martial artists ever go on vacation? Because they always have a sensei-tional time at the dojo!
- Why don’t martial artists take up gardening? Because they prefer to use their hands and feet for martial arts, not planting seeds!
- Why did the martial artist become a chef? Because he heard the kitchen was a great place to “wok” on his skills!
- Why did the karate student get arrested? Because he was throwing illegal chops!
- Why did the martial artist wear a belt with suspenders? Because he wanted to hold his pants up and his opponents down!
- What did the martial artist say to the popcorn? Kung Pao!
- Why did the ninja go to art school? Because they wanted to master the art of stealthy brush strokes!
- Why did the scarecrow join a martial arts class? Because he wanted to learn how to scare off bullies with his kung “fu”
- What did one karate chop say to the other? “I’m a big hit around here!”
- Why did the martial artist carry a calculator during his training? He wanted to crunch the numbers in his opponent’s defense!
- What do you call a martial artist who can bake? A master of the rolling pin-fu!
- Why did the karate student go to the library? Because he wanted to read about roundhouse kicks.
- What did one martial artist say to the other during their sparring session? “Don’t worry, I’m just here to kick it with you!”
- Why did the martial artist always carry a map? Because he never wanted to lose his sense of direction!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent who had a broken leg? “I guess you could say you’re a little off-balance!”
- Why did the sensei take their karate class to the bakery? Because they wanted to teach them how to roll with the punches and dough-kick their opponents!
- What do you call a martial artist who loves to clean? A tai chi-tidier!
- Why did the boxer always carry a map? Because they wanted to find their way to victory!
- What did the martial artist say to the broken board? “Don’t worry, I’ll board you up and make you feel whole again!”
- Why did the karate instructor go to jail? Because he couldn’t keep his hands off the chopsticks!
- How do martial artists greet each other on Halloween? “Hi-yawn-a!”
- Why don’t martial artists ever go broke? Because they always have some “karate” in the bank!
- What did the karate instructor say to his students before the big tournament? Break a leg, but not literally!
- Why did the martial artist join the circus? Because he wanted to show off his martial arts skills in a juggling act.
- Why did the karate champion open a bakery? Because he wanted to make some “dough” while kicking butt!
- What did the martial artist say when he couldn’t find his socks? “I guess they’ve gone ninja on me and disappeared without a trace!”
- Why did the martial artist start a band? Because they wanted to hit all the right notes and hit all their opponents!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to join the circus? Because he didn’t want to be a punching bag for clowns!
- Why did the karate instructor get arrested? Because he was always chopping up the competition!
- Why did the martial arts movie star always wear a belt? Because he didn’t want to get his pants “kicked” off!
- Why was the math teacher great at martial arts? Because he had a black belt in calculus!
- What did the karate master say to the mosquito? “Quit bugging me!”
- Why don’t martial artists ever go hungry? Because they know how to “chop” their food.
- What did the martial arts master say to his students before they left for vacation? “Remember to pack a punch!”
- Why did the martial artist always bring a mirror to training? So he could practice his reflexes and his compliments at the same time!
- Why did the ninja bring a ladder to the fight? Because they wanted to level up and defeat their opponents from above!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into fights on buses? Because they know how to throw their weight around in a dojo, not a dojo bus!
- Why did the karate student bring a ladder to class? Because he heard the belt system was all about reaching new levels!
- Why don’t martial artists go on vacation? Because they’re afraid of getting board!
- Why did the karate master start a bakery? Because he wanted to make “knead” for self-defense.
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent who couldn’t find his car keys? “Looks like you’ve lost your kung-fu grip!”
- Why did the martial artist bring a pillow to the dojo? Because he wanted to practice his “pillow-fighting” skills!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to play cards? Because he didn’t want to be dealt with a “bad hand”!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into arguments? Because they know how to defuse tense situations!
- What did the karate instructor say to the tomato? “Chop chop, you’re not a fruit, you’re a vegetable!”
- Why did the martial artist bring a pig to the fight? Because he wanted to “pork chop” his opponents!
- Why did the martial artist start a gardening business? Because he knew how to “kick” grass!
- Why did the martial artist become an artist? He wanted to brush up on his skills!
- Why did the martial artist become a gardener? Because he wanted to learn how to throw punches and grow vegetables.
- What did the karate instructor say to his students before they broke boards? “Pleased to meet you, bored. I’m sensei!”
- Why do martial artists make terrible comedians? Because they always punchline too early!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into fights with trees? Because they know they can’t chop them down with their bare hands!
- What did the martial artist say when he found out he was going bald? “I guess I’m losing my hai-kick!”
- Why did the martial artist bring a pillow to the fight? Because they wanted to throw a knockout cushion!
- Why did the martial artist always carry a pencil and paper? Because he wanted to draw his own conclusions!
- Why did the ninja bring a ladder to the fight? Because he heard his opponents were always on a higher level!
- Why did the karate student bring a pillow to his class? Because he wanted to learn soft martial arts!
- What did the martial artist say to the punching bag? “I can’t bear to hit you, you’re really punchable!”
- Why did the martial artist bring a pencil and paper to their training? So they could draw their opponents into a corner!
- Why did the karate student go to the bank? He wanted to learn how to break boards and break into vaults at the same time!
- Why was the karate tournament always held in the kitchen? Because they wanted to serve up some serious chops!
- Why did the martial artist become a hairstylist? Because they wanted to chop and style with the precision of a black belt!
- Why do martial artists love math? Because they enjoy finding the right angle for every punch!
- Why did the martial artist become a comedian? Because he knew how to deliver a killer punchline!
- Why did the martial artist always carry a calendar? Because they knew how to make every day count with their kicks and punches!
- Why did the martial artist go broke? Because he couldn’t afford to pay his sensei!
- Why did the martial artist become a teacher? Because he wanted to kick knowledge into his students!
- What did the martial artist say when they opened a can of soda? “Hi-ya!” because it fizzed like a karate kick.
- Why did the martial artist always carry a pen and paper? Because he believed in the power of jiu-jitsu!
- What do you call a martial artist who’s always hungry? A karate-chopstick master!
- Why did the karate teacher open a bakery? Because he kneaded dough!
- Why don’t martial artists ever win hide-and-seek? Because they can never seem to hide their excitement for martial arts!
- Why did the martial artist become a painter? Because they wanted to create masterpieces with their fists and with a brush!
- Why did the sensei refuse to teach his students how to sweep the floor? Because it was beneath him!
- Why did the karate student always bring a loaf of bread to class? So he could break some boards with his “breadth”!
- Why do martial artists make terrible comedians? Because their punches always miss the punchline!
- Why did the karate student go to the dentist? Because he wanted to learn to fight plaque!
- Why did the ninja bring a clock to the fight? Because he wanted to “watch” his opponents closely!
- Why did the karate instructor start a garden? So he could practice his kung-food grip!
- Why did the karate student always carry a map? Because he didn’t want to get “grounded” during his training!
- Why do martial artists make terrible comedians? Because their punchlines are always too strong!
- Why did the ninja go to culinary school? So he could learn how to chop, slice, and dice with precision!
- Why did the martial artist go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to throw some punches and paintbrushes!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent before their match? “Prepare to meet your kung fu-nishment!”
- What did the black belt say to the martial arts student? “Kung Fu you doing?”
- Why did the karate student get in trouble at school? Because he couldn’t keep his karate chopsticks to himself.
- Why do martial artists always bring a ladder to the fight? So they can reach new heights!
- What did the martial artist say when he won a trophy? “I guess you could say I really knocked it out of the park!”
- Why did the karate student wear a belt made of watches? Because he wanted to know what time it was for his opponents!
- Why did the martial artist start a garden? Because he wanted to grow his own jiu-jitsu!
- Why did the Taekwondo master go to the bakery? Because he wanted to punch some dough!
- Why did the karate master go broke? Because he couldn’t control his chopsticks!
- What did the black belt say to the vending machine? “Give me a roundhouse kickstart!”
- Why did the martial artist bring a car door to class? Because he wanted to practice his open-door technique!
- Why did the scarecrow become a martial artist? Because he heard it was a great way to “strawng” and protect himself!
- Why did the karate teacher go broke? Because he couldn’t break any boards in half!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent who couldn’t stop eating? “You’re a glutton for punishment!”
- Why don’t martial artists like cold weather? Because they prefer to be hot-kyu!
- Why did the martial artist join a band? He wanted to learn some kick-ass tunes!
- Why did the martial artist take a nap during their training? Because they needed to practice their “fight”ing sleep moves.
- Why did the martial artist go broke? Because he couldn’t stop buying karate-chops!
- Why did the martial artist become an accountant? Because they wanted to balance the books and balance their opponents!
- Why was the belt arrested at the martial arts tournament? It was holding up pants without a license!
- Why did the martial artist become a musician? Because he knew how to break it down!
- Why do karate students never go on vacation? Because they can’t relax without breaking boards!
- Why did the martial artist bring a pencil to class? In case he wanted to draw some martial arts moves!
- Why was the black belt always tired? Because they were always karate-zzzi!
- Why did the sensei refuse to play cards with the other martial artists? Because he was tired of dealing with chopsticks!
- Why did the ninja always carry a ruler? Because he wanted to measure his progress!
- Why did the martial artist become a firefighter? Because they wanted to extinguish flames and extinguish their opponents!
- Why did the martial artist become a gardener? Because they loved practicing their kung fu chops on weeds and shrubs!
- Why did the sensei bring a pencil to class? Because they wanted to draw attention to detail!
- What did one karate student say to the other? “Let’s kick it up a notch and become black belt buddies!”
- Why did the karate student go to the bakery? Because he wanted to get a black-belt in doughnuts!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent who kept losing? “Don’t worry, you’ll eventually “kick” the habit!”
- Why did the martial arts master become a chef? Because he could chop vegetables faster than anyone else!
- Why did the karate student go to the bank? To learn how to punch and make deposits.
- Why did the martial artist join the circus? Because he wanted to master the art of juggling opponents!
- Why don’t martial artists eat at fast-food restaurants? Because they believe in slow food, not fast fists!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into fights? They know how to “kung-fu”se peace and avoid conflict!
- What did the martial artist say after finishing a great workout? I’m feeling quite kung-fu-tastic!
- Why did the sensei refuse to teach the refrigerator? Because it had too many “kicks” inside!
- Why did the karate teacher get kicked out of the library? He refused to whisper and kept using his “hi-yah” voice!
- Why did the ninja go to culinary school? So he could learn how to chop onions without shedding a tear!
- Why did the martial artist visit the bank? Because he wanted to “deposit” some punches and “withdraw” some kicks.
- Why did the martial artist go to the doctor? Because he had a black and blue belt!
- Why did the skeleton join a martial arts school? Because it wanted to learn how to “bone” up on self-defense.
- Why did the martial artist get into a fight with his calendar? Because he wanted to kick some days!
- Why did the martial artist always carry a pencil and paper? Because he was a black belt in sketching!
- Why did the martial artist always have a packed suitcase? Because he liked to travel light and kick some butt!
Martial Arts Jokes for Kids
Martial Arts jokes for kids are like the friendly ninjas of the joke world—exciting, engaging, and always a hit with the young ones.
These jokes encourage kids to appreciate the art of humor, while subtly familiarizing them with various martial arts.
A playful way to understand the sport, these jokes help foster a sense of fun and laughter around the practice.
Moreover, Martial Arts jokes for kids have the added advantage of highlighting the importance of discipline and respect, key elements of any martial arts training.
Ready for some hilarious action-packed fun?
Here are the jokes that’ll have them belly laughing like a black belt:
- Why was the martial artist always so calm? Because they knew how to keep their inner peace!
- Why don’t martial artists ever lose at poker? Because they’re always good at keeping a poker face!
- Why did the martial artist bring a map to the dojo? Because they wanted to find their way to black belt!
- Why did the karate master get a new job as a chef? Because they loved to chop things up!
- What did one karate instructor say to the other? “It’s time to break the ice!”
- Why don’t martial artists ever eat pickles? Because they can’t find a jar they can’t break!
- What do you call a martial artist who becomes a chef? A “Chop-suey” master!
- Why did the martial artist go to outer space? He wanted to learn the art of flying kicks!
- Why was the karate class so loud? Because they all had a black belt in noise making!
- Why did the karate student go broke? Because he couldn’t break a board without spending money on lessons!
- What do you call a bear who knows martial arts? Kung Fu Panda!
- Why did the orange go to karate class? Because it wanted to become a black belt!
- What did one martial artist say to the other after a long training session? Let’s break for karate-oke!
- Why did the martial artist bring a broom to his match? Because he wanted to sweep the competition!
- Why was the martial artist always hungry? Because they could never resist a good “chop” suey!
- What do you get when you cross a martial artist and a musician? A karate chopstick!
- What did the karate instructor say to the birthday party guests? Chop, chop, it’s cake time!
- What did one martial artist say to the other? It’s time to kick some asparagus!
- What do you call a martial artist who can’t swim? A kung-poo master!
- Why did the sensei refuse to teach his students how to swim? Because he didn’t want to water down their karate skills!
- Why did the martial artist always wear two belts? Because he wanted to hold his pants up and earn his black belt at the same time!
- Why did the martial artist bring a bottle of soy sauce to the fight? Because they wanted to kick it up a notch!
- Why did the martial artist go to the bank? To improve their roundhouse checks!
- How does a ninja start a conversation? With a karate-chop line!
- What did the karate student say to the vending machine? Give me a hi-yah energy drink!
- Why did the martial artist bring a glass of water to the fight? So they could make their opponent break a sweat!
- Why did the ninja bring a ladder to the fight? To reach the top of their opponent!
- What do you call a martial artist who is always on time? Punctual-arts master!
- Why did the martial artist go to the bank? He wanted to check his balance!
- Why did the scarecrow become a martial artist? Because it wanted to learn some self-defense moves!
- Why did the martial artist bring a watermelon to the fight? He wanted to have a smashing time!
- Why did the karate student carry a pencil and paper to class? Because they wanted to draw their own conclusions!
- What do you call a martial artist who works in a library? A bookie!
- Why was the karate master always calm and relaxed? Because he knew how to keep his chi-ll!
- What do you call a belt that holds up a karate instructor’s pants? A sensei-belt!
- How do you catch a squirrel using martial arts? You wait until it’s a black belt in nut-jitsu!
- What do you call a martial artist who sits around all day? A veggie kung fu master!
- What did the martial artist say to the bully? “You better kung-fu your manners!”
- Why did the karate student bring a ladder to the tournament? Because he wanted to be a high-kick champion!
- What do you call a martial artist who stays up all night? Bruce Lee-ate!
- Why did the karate student bring a pencil and paper to class? So he could draw his moves!
- Why did the martial artist go broke? Because he didn’t know how to break a board!
- Why was the karate class so noisy? Because they all had a “kick” of enthusiasm!
- Why did the martial artist bring a map to the fight? Because they wanted to learn all the karate-chokes!
- Why did the karate student get in trouble at school? He was always kicking up a fuss in the classroom!
- Why do martial artists do well in school? Because they know how to handle chopsticks!
- What do you call a martial artist who becomes a teacher? A sensei-tional instructor!
- Why did the karate teacher become a gardener? Because he wanted to help his students grow strong like trees!
- What do you call a martial artist who can cut down trees? A karate lumberjack!
- What did the martial artist say when they broke the board? “Wood you believe it, I did it!”
- What do you call a martial artist who loves to garden? A black-belt in karra-trees!
- Why did the martial artist always carry a calculator? Because he wanted to make sure his kicks and punches added up!
- Why was the martial artist always cool? Because he had a lot of fans!
- Why did the martial artist go to the art museum? Because he wanted to brush up on his kung fu-sion moves!
- What did one karate belt say to the other? “I’ll tie you up in knots!”
- Why do ninjas always carry a towel with them? To dry off after their kicking and punching!
- Why did the karate student bring a mirror to class? So they could practice their “reflections”!
- What did the martial artist say when he finished his math test? I got a black belt in counting!
- Why did the martial artist bring a blazer to the dojo? Because they wanted to wear a black tie!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get into fights? Because they know how to quickly “kung-fu”se the situation!
- What do you get when you cross a martial artist and a baker? A dough-y fighter!
- Why did the karate student go to the bank? To improve their roundhouse “kicks”!
- What did the martial artist say to the pencil? You’ve got no point!
- What did the karate belt say to the karate pants? “You’re not my type, you’re too loose!”
- Why did the martial artist go to art class? To learn how to throw punches in a master piece!
- Why did the martial artist go to the art museum? Because he wanted to learn some karate-chop-tery!
- What do you call a belt that is holding up a pair of pants with a black stripe? A karate-ka-tie!
- Why did the karate student bring a pencil to his class? He heard they were doing some sharp moves!
- Why did the martial artist go to the bakery? He heard they were kneaded for self-defense!
- Why did the martial artist become an architect? Because he wanted to build his punches and kicks!
- Why did the martial artist bring a map to the dojo? Because they wanted to explore every “punch” line!
- Why did the karate student always carry a map? So they wouldn’t get lost in the chop-suey!
- Why did the martial artist get a job at the bakery? Because they wanted to make karate-dough!
- Why did the karate student go to the bakery? To get a little punch for dessert!
- What did the martial artist say to the pizza delivery guy? “I don’t need any help, I can break the box by myself!”
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent? “You better be ready to kick some serious grass!”
- Why did the karate student go to the bank? To improve his roundhouse kick by practicing on the teller!
- What do you call a martial artist who loves to play hide and seek? Ninja-turtle!
- Why did the martial artist wear a belt with a clock on it? Because they wanted to keep track of their karate time!
- How do martial artists greet each other? They bow-wow!
- Why did the scarecrow take martial arts classes? Because he wanted to learn some karate chops!
- Why did the martial artist become an actor? Because he wanted to be a star in both the dojo and on the big screen!
- What do you call a martial artist who sits on a hill? A Sensei-sational!
- What is a martial artist’s favorite beverage? Kung Fu tea!
- What do you call a martial artist’s favorite drink? Ka-punch-a!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get sick? Because they have good karate-boosters!
- What did one karate belt say to the other? Hold me tight, I’m knotty!
- Why don’t martial artists ever go to the zoo? Because all the animals know karate!
- Why did the martial artist bring their phone to the dojo? Because they wanted to take some selfies while breaking boards!
- What do you call a martial artist who has a job at a bakery? A donut-chucker!
- Why did the scarecrow start taking martial arts lessons? Because he wanted to be outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a martial artist who can’t swim? A Kung Fu fish out of water!
- What do you call a karate tournament for rabbits? Hop-ki-do!
- Why did the ninja bring a ladder to the fight? Because he wanted to climb to new levels of stealth!
- Why did the karate student bring a map to class? Because he wanted to learn all the karate chops!
- What did one martial artist say to the other at the birthday party? Chop suey-prise!
- What is a martial artist’s favorite type of candy? Punch candy!
- Why did the martial artist go to the movie theater? He heard there was a “karate” movie playing!
- What do you call a martial artist who owns a bakery? A kung fu doughnut master!
- Why did the tomato turn to martial arts? Because it wanted to become a kung fu fighter!
- Why did the martial artist go to the bakery? Because he wanted to get a “roundhouse” of bread!
- Why did the karate master refuse to lend money? Because he didn’t want to be a sensei-tional debtor!
- Why did the martial artist always carry a pen and paper to the dojo? So he could draw his opponents into battle!
- Why did the martial artist get into the gardening business? They wanted to kick grass and take names!
- Why did the martial artist wear a helmet while doing yoga? To protect their karate-chopra!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight the skunk? Because they didn’t want to risk getting smelly!
- What did the martial artist say when they won an award? “I’m a “kicking” success!”
- What is a martial artist’s favorite type of sandwich? A judo chop!
- Why did the martial artist bring a sponge to the dojo? Because they wanted to soak up all the knowledge!
- Why did the martial artist meditate on a carrot? Because he wanted inner peas!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent at the sushi restaurant? Let’s roll!
- Why did the martial artist always bring a map to practice? So they wouldn’t get lost in their kicks and punches!
- What did the karate instructor say to the misbehaving student? You better shape up or I’ll belt you!
- What do you call a karate expert who loves to clean? A mop-artial artist!
- What do you call a snowman who practices martial arts? Slushy the Ninja!
- What do you call a martial artist frog? A jumpy-kick!
- Why did the tomato turn red during his martial arts class? Because he saw the salad dressing!
- What do you get when you cross a martial artist with a computer? A black belt in karate coding!
- What do you get when you cross a martial artist and a dancer? Someone who can kick it!
Martial Arts Jokes for Adults
Who says adults can’t have a hearty laugh with a good martial arts joke?
Martial arts jokes for adults take humor to the next level, combining wit and sarcasm with a dash of martial arts lingo.
Much like a perfectly executed karate chop, these jokes blend elements of intellect, humor, and a touch of cheekiness for a strikingly funny experience.
These jokes are ideal for social gatherings, dojo parties, or simply to bring a light-hearted moment during a serious discussion among friends.
So, get ready to kick back and enjoy these martial arts jokes that are perfect for adults:
- What do you call a martial artist who’s always forgetful? A ninja who keeps losing their memo-ryu!
- Why did the martial artist bring a map to the fight? Because they didn’t want to get lost in the punches!
- What did the martial artist say after he finished eating? “That meal was a real “karate-chop” of flavor!”
- Why don’t martial artists ever go to parties? Because they always karate-chop the punch bowl!
- Why did the martial artist bring a calculator to the fight? He wanted to “count” his moves!
- Why did the karate instructor go broke? He couldn’t break a board in the market!
- Why did the martial artist become a detective? Because he knew how to follow “fight” lines!
- Why did the karate instructor open a bakery? Because he wanted to serve roundhouse cakes and punch pies!
- What did the martial artist say to the pizza delivery guy? “Make it fast, or I’ll chop suey!”
- Why don’t martial artists ever go on roller coasters? They prefer to avoid the “high-kicks”!
- Why did the martial artist bring a sword to the dance class? He wanted to cut a rug!
- Why did the martial arts instructor become a stand-up comedian? Because he had a black belt in making people laugh!
- What do you call a martial artist who can’t stop eating? Bruce “Lean”!
- Why did the karate instructor break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t handle his high kicks and low punches!
- Why did the martial artist open a restaurant? Because he wanted to serve up some “chop-socky” deliciousness!
- Why did the martial artist start a gardening business? He wanted to cultivate inner peace and outer plants!
- What did the martial arts master say to the thief who broke into his dojo? “I’ve got a black belt in justice!”
- Why did the martial arts instructor become an astronaut? He wanted to master zero gravity combat!
- Why did the karate student always bring a carton of milk to class? Because he heard it was good for his black belt!
- Why did the martial artist start a gardening business? Because they had a black belt in turning the soil!
- How did the ninja celebrate his birthday? He had a kickin’ party!
- Why don’t martial artists ever go to the zoo? They find the “kung-fu” fighting pandas too intimidating!
- Why did the karate champion go broke? He couldn’t stop throwing “money” punches!
- Why did the martial arts teacher join a band? He wanted to master the art of hitting all the right notes!
- What’s a karate instructor’s favorite drink? Punch!
- Why don’t martial artists like answering the phone? Because they prefer to block calls!
- Why did the martial artist go broke? He always had a “deficit stance” in his budgeting!
- Why don’t martial artists ever get lost? Because they always have good sense of direction-Karate-tion!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight the pastry chef? He didn’t want to get in a sticky bun situation!
- What did the martial artist say when he became a parent? “I finally have someone to spar with at home!”
- Why did the kung fu master go to art school? He wanted to learn the art of fighting with a brush!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent before the fight? “Prepare to be beaten black and blue!” .
- What did the martial artist say to the dentist? “You can’t handle the tooth!”
- Why did the sensei refuse to teach the computer geek martial arts? Because they couldn’t handle the CTRL+ALT+DELETE moves!
- Why did the martial artist switch to decaf? He wanted to have a little less kick in his moves!
- Why did the jiu-jitsu practitioner open a bakery? He loved rolling dough!
- Why did the karate student get an F in school? Because he couldn’t even spell “karate”!
- What did the karate master say to his students after their intense workout? “Remember, it’s all fun and games until someone breaks a board!”
- Why did the karate champion open a bakery? Because he loved throwing dough and breaking bread!
- Why was the martial artist terrible at math? Because they couldn’t count beyond their belt levels!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to eat seafood? He didn’t want to be mistaken for a kung-fu fighter!
- Why did the martial artist join the circus? He wanted to kick things up a notch and juggle his opponents!
- Why don’t martial artists ever use elevators? They prefer to take the stairs, so they can kick and punch their way up!
- Why did the ninja go to art school? So he could master the art of stealth!
- Why did the karate master join a band? He wanted to learn some new “chop” techniques!
- Why did the martial arts teacher go broke? Because he couldn’t break a board without buying a new one!
- Why did the Kung Fu master go broke? He couldn’t resist a good chop sale!
- What do you call a martial artist who can’t find their keys? A kung fool!
- Why did the scarecrow take martial arts classes? Because it heard it was good at straw-fu!
- Why don’t martial artists like to eat pickles? They can’t handle the jarring movements!
- Why did the taekwondo student become a comedian? He wanted to kick-start his career with a few punches lines!
- Why did the martial artist quit his job at the bakery? He couldn’t handle the high-stakes roll-kicking!
- Why did the martial artist join a band? Because they wanted to be a fist of harmony!
- Why did the sensei refuse to teach the flamingo martial arts? He didn’t want to teach a one-legged crane style!
- Why did the ninja always carry a calculator? To calculate their opponents’ sum-urai!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent? “You’re about to experience some serious pain-chi!”
- Why did the karate student go to the bakery? He wanted to get his daily bread – and break it too!
- Why did the martial artist break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too absorbed in his training and never had any time for her – it was too much of a kick in the heart!
- Why did the martial artist open a bakery? He wanted to knead his opponents into submission!
- Why was the martial arts tournament so noisy? Because everyone was always screaming for a round of applause!
- What’s a martial artist’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline, of course!
- Why did the karate master always have loose belts? He didn’t believe in holding anything back!
- What do you call a martial artist who can’t stop telling jokes? A pun-ching bag!
- Why don’t martial artists ever gamble? Because they know it’s always best to fold before you get punched!
- Why did the taekwondo master refuse to fight the sumo wrestler? He didn’t want to be caught between a rock and a hard place!
- How do you know a ninja is having a bad day? They can’t catch a single throwing star!
- Why did the martial artist always carry a pen and paper? So he could take notes during his fights and write his own memoirs!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent who couldn’t block any of his punches? “You’re not really fighting, you’re just going through the motions!”
- What do you call a martial artist who never loses a fight? Unemployed!
- What do you call a martial artist who is afraid of spiders? Arachnock-out-ophobic!
- Why did the martial artist join a band? Because they wanted to be a black belt in rock and roll!
- Why did the Taekwondo student bring a pencil to the dojo? He wanted to draw attention to himself!
- What do you call a martial artist who runs away from fights? A black belt in retreat!
- Why did the ninja go to therapy? He needed help dealing with his invisible battles!
- Why did the martial artist get a job at the bakery? Because he wanted to prove he could roll with the punches and make a mean “karate-dough”!
- Why don’t boxers ever make good chefs? Because they always throw in the towel!
- Why did the karate master refuse to use hand sanitizer? He preferred to wash hands with his own sweat!
- Why did the martial artist open a bakery? Because he kneaded a break from fighting!
- Why do martial artists love gardening? Because they like throwing punches!
- Why did the sensei teach his students how to meditate? So they could learn to kick “as-scenti”!
- Why did the ninja break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t see him, but he could always sneak up on her!
- Why do martial artists make terrible chefs? They always have a knack for breaking eggs!
- Why was the martial artist so good at gardening? Because he had a black belt in weed-whacking!
- Why did the karate instructor bring a map to class? Because he wanted to show his students the way of the punch!
- Why did the karate instructor open a bakery? So he could teach dough-jitsu!
- Why did the sensei bring a ladder to the martial arts competition? He wanted to reach new levels of success!
- What did the martial artist say when he couldn’t find his nunchucks? “I’m totally disarmed!”
- Why did the martial artist bring a pencil to the fight? In case they needed to draw a line in the sand!
- Why did the martial artist switch to a plant-based diet? He wanted to have a kick-ass vegetable sidekick!
- What did the karate teacher say to the naughty student? “You need to kick your bad habits!”
- Why did the sensei go to the bank? He wanted to learn how to handle his karate chucks!
- What do you call a martial artist who loves snacks? A “kickin’ chickin”!
- Why do martial artists make good comedians? Because they always deliver a punchline!
- Why did the martial artist start a plumbing business? He wanted to unclog his opponents’ pipes!
- What did the karate instructor say to the student who wasn’t paying attention? “You need to focus on your kata, not your cat-naps!”
- Why was the martial artist always broke? Because he couldn’t afford to buy any new kung fu!
- Why did the karate student get kicked out of the dojo? They couldn’t keep their karate chopsticks straight!
- Why did the karate student get in trouble at school? He couldn’t stop throwing punches during math class!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to eat at the buffet? Because he didn’t want to get caught in a food fight!
- Why did the sensei refuse to train the cat? It had too many cattitudes!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent in the middle of the fight? “Let’s “kick” this up a notch!”
- Why did the martial artist go to the art museum? To appreciate the master strokes!
- What did the martial artist say to the pizza delivery guy? “I’ll have a large, with a sidekick, please!”
- Why do martial artists make great comedians? They always have killer punchlines!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to play cards with the ninja? Because the ninja always had an ace up his sleeve!
- What did the martial artist say to the pizza delivery guy? “I ordered a roundhouse kick, not a round pizza!”
- Why did the martial artist bring a ladder to the fight? Because they wanted to reach a higher level of combat!
- Why did the karate master go to the bank? To improve his “kung fu-nances”!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent? “You don’t stand a roundhouse chance against me!”
- Why did the martial artist refuse to fight the tree? It had a black belt in bark martial arts!
- Why did the martial artist become a gardener? Because he wanted to master the art of “kung-fu” fighting!
- Why did the karate master open a bakery? Because he wanted to make his own chop suey!
- Why did the martial artist become a comedian? He wanted to make his opponents laugh before beating them up!
- Why don’t martial artists like fast food? Because they prefer to deliver their own punches and kicks, not have them delivered in a box!
- Why did the martial artist join a gym? He wanted to beef up his “chop” technique!
- What do you call a martial artist who’s always on the move? A ninja-tic!
- Why did the judo champion become a comedian? He knew how to throw a punchline!
- Why did the Taekwondo master become a chef? He wanted to kick up the flavor in his dishes!
- Why did the karate instructor get kicked out of the party? He couldn’t stop throwing punches!
- What do you call a martial artist who owns a farm? Bruce Lee-ohn Deere!
- Why did the ninja go to the party? He wanted to make a karate-entrance!
- Why did the martial artist open a bakery? Because he wanted to roll with the punches and knead the dough!
- Why did the martial artist bring a broom to practice? He wanted to sweep his opponents off their feet!
- What did the black belt say to the white belt? “You better knot try to tie me up!”
- Why did the karate student go broke? Because every time he broke a board, he had to pay for it!
- Why did the martial artist refuse to play cards with his friends? He didn’t want to get dealt any bad hands… or kicks!
- Why did the karate instructor switch careers to become a comedian? Because he wanted to deliver knockout punchlines!
- Why do martial artists make great detectives? They can always find a kick in the case!
- What did the martial artist say to his opponent who kept losing? “Don’t worry, I’m just here to kick it up a notch!”
- Why did the karate champion join a band? Because he had a black belt in playing the guitar!
- Why don’t ninjas like to fight on the phone? Because they prefer to have a direct punch-line!
- Why did the boxer join a martial arts class? Because he wanted to punch and kick his way to becoming a “multi-punch” champion!
- Why did the martial artist join the circus? They wanted to show off their martial arts skills in a roundhouse tent!
- Why did the black belt bring a marker to his martial arts class? Because he wanted to leave his mark on the training mats!
- What do you call a martial arts expert who owns a bakery? A dough-kwon-do master!
- Why did the sensei bring a broom to the dojo? He wanted to “sweep” the competition!
- Why did the martial artist become a comedian? He wanted to “punchline” his jokes!
- Why did the martial artist become a gardener? They wanted to master the art of throwing punches and cultivating plants!
- Why did the kung fu master join a music band? He wanted to be a chopstick drummer!
Martial Arts Joke Generator
Churning out the perfect martial arts joke can sometimes feel like a real kick in the teeth.
(Caught you off guard there, didn’t I?)
That’s when our FREE Martial Arts Joke Generator sweeps in to the rescue.
Built to fuse witty puns, sharp humor, and playful wordplay, it crafts jokes that are certain to land punchlines and generate laughs.
Don’t let your humor tumble down like a failed judo throw.
Harness our joke generator to spin out jokes that are as energetic and captivating as your martial arts maneuvers.
FAQs About Martial Arts Jokes
Why are martial arts jokes so popular?
Martial arts jokes are a fun way to lighten the often serious and intense atmosphere associated with this discipline.
They make use of commonly known martial arts terms and situations, making them both humorous and relatable, especially to enthusiasts and practitioners.
Definitely!
Martial arts jokes can be a great ice breaker, especially in gatherings where martial arts is a common interest.
They lighten the mood and can even spark interesting conversations about different martial arts disciplines.
How can I come up with my own martial arts jokes?
- Get to know the different types of martial arts and their unique traits. This will give you material for jokes.
- Use martial arts terminology to create puns and wordplay.
- Think about common scenarios in martial arts training or competition that could be exaggerated or twisted for humorous effect.
- Try to incorporate cultural references related to martial arts in your jokes.
- Remember, the element of surprise is essential in humor, so try to lead your audience in one direction, then surprise them with your punchline.
Are there any tips for remembering martial arts jokes?
Try to associate the jokes with different martial arts situations or moves.
This will make them easier to remember.
Also, regularly sharing the jokes with friends will reinforce your memory.
How can I make my martial arts jokes better?
As with any joke, timing is everything.
Try to deliver your punchline at just the right moment.
Also, getting to know your audience and their sense of humor will help you tailor your jokes to get the best laughs.
How does the Martial Arts Joke Generator work?
Our Martial Arts Joke Generator is a fun tool that delivers hilarious martial arts-themed jokes at the click of a button.
Simply enter keywords related to your martial arts humor or situation, and press the Generate Jokes button.
In no time, you’ll have an arsenal of funny martial arts jokes to share!
Is the Martial Arts Joke Generator free?
Yes, our Martial Arts Joke Generator is absolutely free to use!
Generate endless laughs and keep your humor fresh and engaging.
Feel free to unleash your inner comedian and fill your social feeds with martial arts humor.
Conclusion
Martial arts jokes are a thrilling way to add a little excitement to everyday conversations, making life a bit more enjoyable with each chuckle.
From the quick and witty to the long and laugh-inducing, there’s a martial arts joke for every occasion.
So next time you’re practicing a roundhouse kick, remember, there’s humor to be found in every punch, block, and move.
Keep spreading the laughs, and let the good times roll and jab.
Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without martial arts—unimaginable and, frankly, a bit less adventurous.
Happy joking, everyone!
Kung Fu Jokes That Will Hit Your Funny Bone
Judo Jokes for a Throw-Down Laugh
Boxing Jokes to Punch Up Your Comedy Game