776 Middle Ages Jokes to Make Even a Monk Chuckle

ByDavid Hudson

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re eager to step into the world of Middle Ages jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the knights of the round table in terms of humor.

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the most hilarious Middle Ages jokes.

From jesters’ jests to jests about jousts, our compilation has a joke for every facet of feudal life.

So, let’s gallop into the kingdom of Middle Ages humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Middle Ages Jokes

Middle Ages jokes are quite the jesters, sneaking up on you with their wit and whimsy.

These jests are not merely about the historical period itself, but also the unique culture, customs, and common misconceptions associated with it.

From the chivalry of knights, the mystery of alchemists, to the intricate feudal system, the Middle Ages offers a plethora of comedic gold.

Creating the perfect Middle Ages joke involves a playful twist of medieval language, an understanding of historical norms, and often a dash of irony to highlight the vast differences between then and now.

Ready to take a hilarious journey back in time?

Buckle up and let these Middle Ages jokes transport you to an era of knights, castles, and jesters:

  • Why did the medieval castle always win awards? It had outstanding moats!
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the jousting tournament? He wanted to win by feather fall!
  • What did the royal couple say after their wedding in the Middle Ages? “We’re medieval and we know it!”
  • Why did the knight bring his own pillows to the battle? Because he wanted to have a knight’s sleep!
  • How do knights greet each other? With medieval high fives!
  • Why did the king go to medieval comedy shows? He loved a good jester!
  • What do you call a medieval knight with no teeth? Sir Gums-a-lot!
  • Why did the knight start a band? Because he had a lot of armor-talent!
  • Why did the castle ghost go on a diet? He wanted to lose a few “skeletons”!
  • Why did the castle’s gardener always carry a spear? In case the plants needed a knight-watchman!
  • Why did the blacksmith become a comedian? He always knew how to forge-t the punchline.
  • Why did the peasant take a nap in the hay? Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
  • What did the medieval dentist say to his patient? This won’t hurt a bit… as long as you don’t have any cavities!
  • What did the king say when he heard a funny joke? “I’m throne into laughter!”
  • Why did the jousting match get delayed in the Middle Ages? The knights had a lance-a-lot to talk about!
  • Why did the peasant wear a helmet to bed? Because he wanted to sleep like a knight!
  • Why did the medieval baker always win at competitions? He kneaded the dough for victory!
  • What did the medieval jester say to the king? You’re a ruler, but I’m a fooler!
  • Why did the knight bring his horse to the library? Because he heard it was a stable source of information!
  • What did the medieval chef say to his apprentice? Get ready to fry and die!
  • What did the medieval jester say to the king? “Why did the chicken cross the moat? To show the other side it could be done!”
  • What did the medieval blacksmith say when his apprentice asked for a raise? “You’ll have to forge-t about it!”
  • Why did the knight bring a ladder to the medieval banquet? Because he heard the food was on the knightstand!
  • What do you get when you cross a knight and a vampire? A medieval count!
  • What did the medieval dentist say to his patient? “I’ll have to pull the sword, I mean, tooth!”
  • Why did the knight bring a spoon to the battle? In case he needed to stir up trouble!
  • What did the jester say to the king during the Middle Ages? “I’m just clowning around, Your Majesty!”
  • What did the medieval peasant say when he won the lottery? “I’m going to be a knight in shining armor!”
  • Why did the knight always carry a towel with him? In case he needed to dry off after a jousting match!
  • What did the medieval knight say when he was running late? “I need to horse around faster!”
  • What did the blacksmith say to the knight who couldn’t decide what weapon to use? “Stop being so sword-of-stuck!”
  • What did the knight say when he lost his armor? “I need to “suit” up again!”
  • What did the blacksmith say to the knight who needed armor for the Middle Ages battle? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”
  • What did the medieval chef say when he made a mistake? “I’m in a bit of a pickle!”
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the king’s court? Because he wanted to raise everyone’s spirits!
  • What do you call a medieval knight who smells really bad? Sir Stinks-a-Lot!
  • Why was the knight always so calm and relaxed? Because he was “armor”able!
  • How did the king like his pizza delivered in the Middle Ages? Knight and hot from the oven!
  • Why did the medieval barber become a knight? He wanted to shave the day!
  • What did the medieval chef say when asked why he cooked with so many spices? The thyme-travel to the Middle Ages is incomplete without flavor!
  • What did the jester say to the knight? “You’re knight-erroneous!”
  • Why did the jousting tournament end early? Because everyone got tired of all the horseplay!
  • What did the blacksmith say when he lost his temper? “I’m forging mad!”
  • What was the knight’s favorite type of music in the Middle Ages? Heavy metal, of course!
  • Why did the jousting match get delayed in the Middle Ages? Because someone pulled a knight shift.
  • Why did the peasant bring a ladder to the market during the Middle Ages? To reach the high prices.
  • What did the medieval baker say when someone stole his bread? “It’s a loaf or death situation!”
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the joust? He wanted to rest his “lance”!
  • What do you call a medieval knight with a sore throat? Sir Coughsalot!
  • What do you call a knight who likes to hang out at the beach? Sir Finsalot!
  • Why did the knight always carry a spoon? In case he found a dragon “soup”!
  • What do you call a medieval insect with a sword? A knight-mite!
  • Why did the medieval carpenter only build with stone? Because woodwork was too timber-consuming!
  • Why did the knight wear a clock? Because it was “medieval” times!
  • What do you get when you cross a medieval knight with a circus performer? Sir Round-a-lot!
  • Why did the nobleman always carry a backpack? Because he wanted to be prepared in case he became a wandering knight!
  • Why was the Middle Ages known as the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights!
  • Why did the knight always carry a map during the Middle Ages? Because he didn’t want to get lost in the knight-errantry!
  • What did the medieval jester do when he didn’t understand a joke? He pretended to laugh and said, “I get it, it’s a medieval secret!”
  • What did the knight say when he found out he won the jousting competition? “I’m lance-lot happier now!”
  • Why did the knight carry a notebook during battles in the Middle Ages? To jot down his knightmares!
  • What did the jester say when he won the Middle Ages comedy competition? “I’m a funny knight!”
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a flask of water? In case he had to perform a medieval drip-IV!
  • Why did the peasant carry a ladder to the Middle Ages festival? He heard they had a high turnout!
  • Why did the king hire a royal tailor? Because he needed a knight gown!
  • What do you call a medieval knight that likes to swim? Sir Finsalot!
  • What do you call a medieval knight who likes to sing? A jester of the chord!
  • How do knights get their armor clean? They “squire” it away!
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the battle? So he could lay down the law!
  • What did the castle’s chef say when he made a mistake? “I’ve really souped up this recipe, but I think I’m in a pickle!”
  • Why did the peasant become a jester? He couldn’t resist the allure of medieval pun-ishment!
  • Why did the queen go to the bakery every day? She was on a roll!
  • What did the medieval chef say when his apprentice ruined the soup? “That’s a souper mistake!”
  • Why did the knight bring a ladder to the medieval battlefield? Because he wanted to reach the high notes in the castle!
  • What do you call a medieval scientist who can’t make up his mind? Sir Cumference!
  • What did the medieval barber say when he accidentally cut off a knight’s beard? “I’m sorry, it’s just a little off the top!”
  • What did the medieval farmer say when he lost his sheep? Wherefore art thou, ewe?
  • Why did the medieval farmer always carry a map? Because he didn’t want to get lost in his own “medieval” times!
  • How do knights like to communicate? With chainmail!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the dungeon? He heard the food was just hanging there!
  • Why did the medieval baker get promoted? He kneaded the dough for success!
  • What did the medieval banker say to his customers? “I can always count on you to pay your debts, even if it takes a knight!”
  • Why was the medieval knight always so calm? Because he had great chainmail management!
  • How did the medieval blacksmith get into trouble? He kept forging his wife’s signature!
  • Why did the castle feel lonely in the Middle Ages? Because it couldn’t find a moat-ive!
  • What did the knight say to his squire during the Middle Ages? “I can’t fight today, I’ve got a medieval cold!”
  • What do you call a knight who gets all his armor on sale? A bargain Sir!
  • Why did the knight bring a piece of string to the battle? He wanted to “tie” up the enemy!
  • What do you call a knight who loves to sing? Sir Prize, the medieval pop star!
  • Why did the medieval chef get fired? He couldn’t make enough knights in shining armor.
  • What do you call a funny jester from the Middle Ages? A medieval clown prince!
  • Why did the king go to the doctor during the Middle Ages? Because he had a medieval illness!
  • Why did the knight always carry a dictionary? So he could understand all the medieval jargon!
  • Why was the knight always polite? Because he knew that chivalry isn’t just a coat of armor!
  • Why did the knights always carry a notebook? They wanted to jot down their armor and ideas!
  • Why did the medieval prince bring a pillow to the ball? He wanted to have a “knight” of comfort!
  • How did knights in the Middle Ages send messages? By using carrier pigeons wearing tiny suits of armor!
  • Why did the medieval musician get locked up in the dungeon? He couldn’t find the key to harmony!
  • What do you call a medieval knight who loves to shop? A bargain of the Round Table!
  • Why did the castle break up with the medieval village? It just wasn’t their fort.
  • Why did the knight sit on a clock during the Middle Ages? He wanted to joust in time!
  • What do you call a knight who skips the jousting tournament? Sir Pass-a-Lot!
  • What do you call a medieval detective? Sherlock Holmeslice!
  • How did the knight kill time during the Middle Ages? He went medieval on a crossword puzzle!
  • Why did the knight go to the dentist? To get his “teeth” medieval’d!
  • What did the medieval barber say to his customer? Don’t worry, I won’t take a knight off your head!
  • How did the medieval baker create the world’s best bread? She kneaded it!
  • What do you call a medieval superhero who can’t stop laughing? Sir Laughter-a-lot.
  • What did the knight say after he won the jousting tournament? I’m lance-alot!
  • What did the medieval knight say when he won a duel? “I’m head and shoulders above the rest!”
  • Why did the castle keep bragging about its height? Because it had a “tower” ego!
  • Why did the medieval king go to therapy? He had a case of castle-trophobia!
  • What did the medieval dentist say to the dragon with bad breath? “You need to brush and floss more, your fire isn’t killing enough germs!”
  • How did the knights tell their friends they were coming? They sent a “knight-ification”!
  • What do you call a medieval scribe who can’t spell? A “misspeller” knight!
  • What did the medieval prince say when he broke his sword? “I need to get a pheas-ant replacement!”
  • Why did the castle’s gardener always carry a spoon? He wanted to dig moats!
  • What did the knight say when he lost his sword in battle? “I can’t seem to find my point!”
  • How did the peasant get a date with a princess in the Middle Ages? He pulled some serf-ace!
  • What was King Arthur’s favorite game? Knights and Crosswords!
  • Why did the medieval peasant bring a ladder to the market? Because he heard the prices were rising!
  • What did the peasant say to the knight who made a bad joke? “That’s a serf-ious offense!”
  • Why did the medieval chef always win cooking competitions? Because he always had the upper crust!
  • Why couldn’t the knight pay his taxes? Because he was always a little sword.
  • Why was the castle always cold during the Middle Ages? Because it had too many draft knights!
  • Why did the blacksmith always have a good sense of humor? He knew how to strike while the iron was hot!
  • Why was the knight always so good at math during the Middle Ages? He had a lot of “knight” numbers!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the castle? He wanted to make the king laugh, from a higher level!
  • How did the blacksmith feel after a long day at work? He was hammer’d!
  • What did the jester say to the king at the medieval feast? “You’re the ruler of the food!”
  • Why did the castle’s gardener become a knight? Because he wanted to be a herb warrior!
  • Why was the math teacher in the Middle Ages always happy? Because he loved to multiply and add-vance!
  • Why did the medieval chef only cook with poultry? Because he didn’t want to ruffle any feathers with the king!
  • What do you call a medieval thief? Sir-prize!
  • What do you call a medieval pun? A sword joke!
  • What do you call a knight who loves math? Sir Cumference, the medieval mathematician!
  • How did knights say hello to each other? They “axe”ed each other!
  • Why were the Middle Ages so unhealthy? Because everyone kept medieval-ing!
  • What did the nobleman say to his horse? “Hay there, old chum!”
  • Why did the knight always carry a map in the Middle Ages? Because he couldn’t find his way without his knight-vigation!
  • What did the medieval doctor say to his patient with a headache? “You need a leechtomy!”

 

Short Middle Ages Jokes

Short Middle Ages jokes are like a chivalrous knight’s witty retort—unexpected, entertaining, and reflecting a bygone era.

These jokes are perfect for a light-hearted history lesson, social media shares, or that gathering when you want to add a dash of mirth with a historical twist.

The charm of short Middle Ages jokes lies in their ability to blend historical nuance with a comedic punch, providing chuckles in a jesting jest.

So, raise your goblets high!

Here are short Middle Ages jokes that offer a hearty laugh in just a few lines.

  • A chicken nugget!
  • Why did the medieval bard always carry a map?
  • Because he wanted to make his opponent lance softly!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite type of pizza? One with extra sword-ings!
  • What did the peasant say when the king gave him a coin?
  • Because it was always involved in court affairs!
  • How did the blacksmith propose? With a ring he forged himself!
  • I’m forging ahead with my plans!
  • Wow, I’m in chain-mail!
  • I’ve been defeated, I’m feeling armorless!
  • How did the knight feel after his first battle? Sir-really sore!
  • What did they call medieval email? Carrier pigeons!
  • Because it knew how to keep the knight life going!
  • What did the medieval peasant say when he found a treasure?
  • What’s a knight’s favorite type of building? A castle in the air!
  • How did medieval kings send secret messages? By knight mail!
  • A swordfish!
  • You’re my favorite ruler, hands down!
  • What do you call a medieval cat? Sir Pounce-a-lot!
  • Because he wanted to win the “Lawn-celot” tournament!
  • What’s a dragon’s favorite game during the Middle Ages? Knights and charades!
  • How do knights get their armor to shine? They use knight-erade!
  • Medieval rock and chainmail!
  • Because he had the best knights in the kitchen!
  • Why did the castle’s gardener become a knight?
  • How did the medieval barber keep his customers entertained? With knightly tales!
  • What did the medieval knight say after winning a joust?
  • Why did the jousting tournament get canceled? The knights couldn’t lance it!
  • How did the medieval peasants say hello? “Hay there!”
  • Why did the dragon join a gym? To burn off those knights!
  • How did the knight feel after a long day of jousting? Ex-sword-ed!
  • What do you call a nobleman who tells jokes? A pun-dit!
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the jousting match?
  • Thanks for being so feudal!
  • In case he needed to find his way to the medieval charts!
  • Why did the blacksmith get in trouble? He couldn’t keep his temper!
  • What did the medieval farmer say to the horse? Hay!
  • Why did the medieval blacksmith get promoted? He always nailed it!
  • Because he wanted to reach the high notes of the war!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite type of pet? A dragon, of course!
  • What do you call a nobleman with no manners? A medieval jerk!
  • To get his crown checked!
  • Why did the castle always throw parties?
  • What did the medieval student say to the teacher? I knight understand!
  • Why did the castle have a lot of drama?
  • I’m lance-lot of fun!
  • How did knights pass notes to each other? By horse-to-horse delivery!
  • How did knights clean their armor? They used knightly detergent!
  • What did the medieval jester say to the king? “You’re throne-ly hilarious!”
  • What did the princess say when she saw the dragon? “Oh, snap!”

 

Middle Ages Jokes One-Liners

Middle Ages jokes one-liners are the perfect blend of humor and history, wrapped up in a single sentence.

These wisecracks are the humoristic equivalent of a medieval knight’s swift and accurate swordplay – unexpected, clever, and strikingly memorable.

Crafting such a one-liner demands a combination of wit, knowledge of history, and a unique sense of humor that can transport the reader or listener back to the time of castles, knights and jesters.

The challenge lies in condensing a set up and punchline into one sharp-edged sentence, delivering a laughter-packed joust with brevity.

So, buckle up your armor and raise your goblets as these Middle Ages one-liners are bound to transport you back to the medieval times, leaving you in splits of laughter:

  • Why did the medieval doctor become a musician? He wanted to practice medieval healing melodies.
  • Why did the peasant always carry a map? Because he liked to explore new feudal territories!
  • Why did the medieval chef always carry a sword? Because he believed in cutting-edge cuisine!
  • Why did the castle get great Wi-Fi reception in the Middle Ages? Because it had many towers!
  • Why did the knight carry a notebook? He wanted to take notes in the medieval lectures!
  • Why did the medieval blacksmith go to therapy? Because he couldn’t handle all the iron-y in his life!
  • What did the medieval farmer say to his cows? “It’s pasture bedtime!”
  • I went to a medieval-themed restaurant and ordered the “knight’s meal.” Turns out, it was just a regular steak with a sword stuck in it.
  • What did the medieval dentist say to the dragon with bad breath? You need to floss more often!
  • Why did the jester always carry a feather during the Middle Ages? In case he needed to tickle someone’s funny bone.
  • What did the castle builder say to his workers? “Let’s keep the towers high and the morale even higher!”
  • Why did the blacksmith become a comedian during the Middle Ages? Because he was always forging hilarious punchlines!
  • Why did the blacksmith always carry a map? Because he liked to forge ahead.
  • Why did the princess always carry a mirror during the Middle Ages? So she could see her future in it… and check her hair, of course.
  • What did the jester say to the king? “You’re not so funny, you’re just a ruler.”
  • I’m not saying I’m a knight, but I’ve been known to joust with my alarm clock every morning.
  • What did the medieval chef say after a successful feast? “That was grate!”
  • Why did the princess take a fencing class? She wanted to add a little swordplay to her fairy tale ending!
  • What do you call a knight who likes to eat beans? Sir Toot-a-lot!
  • Why did the princess always carry a ladder in the Middle Ages? She wanted to raise the bar!
  • Why did the medieval peasant become a comedian? Because he heard laughter was the best serf medicine!
  • What do you call a medieval joke that’s been told a thousand times? Ex-calibur!
  • Why did the medieval baker always have a smile on his face? Because he kneaded the dough for a living.
  • Why did the castle’s gardener always carry a sword? To defend his plants from invading weeds!
  • Why did the medieval blacksmith become a comedian? He wanted to forge new paths in the world of humor!
  • What did the blacksmith say to his apprentice? “I forge-t to tell you, we’re working overtime this week.”
  • Why did the medieval queen carry a scepter? So she could rule with an iron fist, wrapped in velvet gloves!
  • What did the medieval baker say when someone complained about the bread? “Well, it’s not my fault. It’s the yeast I could do!”
  • What did the medieval hairdresser say to his client? “I don’t have time for a trim. It’s a medieval ‘do or die’ situation!”
  • Why did the king go to medieval therapy? He had castle-insecurity issues!
  • Why did the peasant become a minstrel? Because he wanted to serf some turf!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a spear? He believed in giving patients a good “poke” to cure them!
  • What did the medieval architect say when his tower collapsed? “Well, back to the drawing board!”
  • Why was everyone so tired in the Middle Ages? Because they all worked knight shifts!
  • Why did the knight always carry a map in battle? Because he wanted to conquer new territories… and avoid getting lost!
  • I tried to be a court jester in the Middle Ages, but all my jokes kept falling flat. Guess I wasn’t jest cut out for it.
  • What do you call a medieval sleepover? A knight in shining armor party.
  • Why did the knight always carry a dictionary? To understand all the medieval terms of swordplay!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the dungeon? Because he heard the cells were quite “uplifting!”
  • What’s a medieval knight’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal armor!
  • Why did the monk refuse to play cards in the Middle Ages? He believed in a higher calling, not a royal flush!
  • Why did the knight sleep with a sword under his pillow? Because he wanted to dream of cutting-edge technology.
  • Why did the knight wear shining armor? Because it was knight-time.
  • Why did the medieval baker always have the best bread in town? He kneaded it into submission!
  • What do you call a medieval baker with a sense of humor? A pun-dit!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the royal banquet? Because he wanted to reach a higher level of foolery in the Middle Ages!
  • Why did the knight bring a carton of milk to the jousting tournament? He wanted to have a “knight-cap” after the battle!
  • Why did the medieval chef get fired? He couldn’t stop using too much “thyme” in his recipes!
  • Why did the knight bring a sword to the barbecue? He wanted to grill some dragon meat!
  • What did the blacksmith say to the knight? “I forge-t to bring my lunch, can I have a knight snack?”
  • What do you call a medieval dog that can perform tricks? A jester-hound.
  • What did the medieval jester say when he lost his job? “Well, that’s not very jest-ful!”
  • What did the medieval doctor say to the patient? “Don’t worry, it’s just a peasant ailment.”
  • Why did the medieval gardener always have a smile on his face? He loved seeing the flowers of chivalry bloom!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a leech with him? Because he believed in having a blood-sucking companion!
  • What do you call a nobleman who can’t stop scratching his head? Sir Itchy!
  • Why did the knight bring a napkin to the jousting tournament? He heard he would be dining lance first!
  • Why did the blacksmith get a promotion? Because he nailed it!
  • Why did the princess always have a sunburn in the Middle Ages? She didn’t have SPF knights to protect her skin.
  • What did the medieval baker say to the dough? “Rise and shine, it’s a knightly loaf today!”
  • Why did the medieval knight always bring a broom to battle? He wanted to sweep the enemy off their feet!
  • What did the medieval barber say to his customer? “I’m a cut above the rest!”
  • Why was the jester always happy during the Middle Ages? Because he had a great medieval sense of humor!
  • Why was the medieval chef considered a master of deception? Because he could make a knight’s meal look like a peasant’s feast!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a bag of herbs? Because he wanted to give his patients a taste of medieval seasoning.
  • Why did the medieval peasant go to the doctor? He had too many serf-ings!
  • What did the medieval tailor say when he lost his needle? “I’m just going to have to sew what happens!”
  • Why did the medieval chef always carry a sword? In case there was any beef with the soup!
  • What do you call a medieval insect that tells jokes? A hilarious knight bug!
  • Why did the medieval monk become a stand-up comedian? Because he wanted to spread laughter instead of holy water!
  • Why did the blacksmith start a band in the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to forge ahead in the music industry!
  • Why did the medieval peasants refuse to go to the royal ball? They didn’t want to “mingle” with the upper class!
  • Why did the wizard love the Middle Ages? It was a magical time full of knights in shining armor and dragons to slay… or at least pretend to slay.
  • Why did the peasant always carry a ladder during the Middle Ages? In case he needed to reach the “high” Middle Ages.
  • Why was the wizard always a hit at medieval parties? Because he always had a few tricks ‘up his sleeve’… literally!
  • In the Middle Ages, they had knights in shining armor. Nowadays, we have knights in shining credit cards.
  • Why did the medieval baker refuse to share his bread? Because he kneaded it all for himself!
  • Why did the blacksmith become a comedian? He wanted to forge some laughs!
  • Why did the blacksmith love the Middle Ages? It was a great time for forging friendships and swords.
  • What’s a medieval ghost’s favorite kind of music? Moan-chant!
  • Why did the king go to the therapist? He was feeling a little medieval.
  • Why did the knight always carry a towel? In case he needed to lance in a hurry!
  • Why did the peasant bring a calendar to the medieval battle? Because he wanted to know when the knight would be ‘knighted’!
  • What did the medieval doctor say when someone complained of a headache? “Take two leeches and call me in the morning.”
  • Why did the knight bring a shovel to the jousting tournament? In case he needed to dig up some dirt on his opponent!
  • Why did the castle have a moat? Because the drawbridge broke and they couldn’t find a plumber in the Middle Ages!
  • Why did the blacksmith always feel tired in the Middle Ages? Because he was working around the clock!
  • Why did the knight always carry a pen and paper? He was constantly jotting down his medieval thoughts.
  • Why did the medieval student bring a ladder to the library? To reach the higher grades, of course!
  • Why did the blacksmith always have good ideas? He was always forging ahead!
  • I tried to time travel back to the Middle Ages, but the GPS on my horse wasn’t working properly.
  • Why did the blacksmith always work on Mondays? Because he loved “forging” ahead!
  • Why did the medieval musician bring a ladder to the concert? He wanted to reach new heights of harmony!
  • What did the knight say when he lost his sword? “I guess I’ll just have to lance another one!”
  • Why did the queen go to the dentist during the Middle Ages? Because she had a medieval toothache!
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the jousting tournament? In case he got knocked out, he could take a knight nap!
  • What did the medieval doctor say to his patients? Don’t worry, bleeding cures everything!
  • What did the medieval doctor say to the patient? “Have you tried applying leeches? They’re the latest medieval trend!”
  • Why did the king wear a crown? Because it was his crowning achievement.
  • Why did the knight bring a sword to the bakery? Because he wanted to slice some medieval bread!
  • What did the medieval king say to his knights when they were late for battle? “You’ve got some serious chain mail to explain!”
  • I wanted to be a bard in the Middle Ages, but my singing voice made the peasants revolt instead.
  • Why did the castle’s stone walls always have a great sense of humor? They were always cracking jokes.
  • Why did the dragon become a knight during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to scale the social hierarchy!
  • Why did the knight always carry a mirror? So he could knight himself whenever he pleased!
  • Why was King Arthur’s army so good at math? They were experts in the medieval times tables!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite type of shoe? A sneaker of armor!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a map? He wanted to locate the vein thing!
  • Why did the peasant refuse to trade his cow for a horse during the Middle Ages? Because he knew cows were the original “moo-ving” vehicles!
  • Why did the king bring a ladder to the throne room? Because he wanted to be one step above his subjects!
  • Why did the court jester bring a ladder to the medieval feast? Because he wanted to raise the roof with his jokes!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite kind of pet? A coat of arms!
  • Why was the Medieval baker so successful? He always had a lot of dough!
  • What did the knight say when he found a dragon in his castle? “I didn’t remember ordering a hot plate!”
  • Why did the medieval doctor always have a flask of whiskey? Because he believed in medieval spirits!
  • Why did the blacksmith get into trouble during the Middle Ages? He kept forging his wife’s signature on love letters!
  • Why did the serf bring a shovel to the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to dig up some medieval dirt!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the dungeon? He wanted to be a stand-up comedian!
  • Why did the knight carry a flask? Because he was afraid of dragon breath!
  • What did the blacksmith say when he made a mistake? “I guess that’s just how the iron-y works!”
  • Why did the medieval farmer always carry a sword while working in the fields? In case he had to battle the corn-quistadors!
  • Why did the medieval knight go to art school? Because he wanted to master the art of chivalry!
  • Why did the peasant bring a ladder to the castle? He heard the king was looking for a new stepstool!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always have a good sense of humor? He knew laughter was the best leech-ter!
  • Life in the Middle Ages must have been tough. Can you imagine trying to catch a dragon to do your laundry?
  • Why did the knight carry a compass? Because he couldn’t find his way around the castle without his knight-vigator!
  • What did the medieval chef say after creating the perfect dish? “It’s souperb!”
  • Why did the king always win at chess during the Middle Ages? Because his opponents were afraid of his royal pawns!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a jar of leeches? In case someone needed a blood-sucker punchline!
  • Why did the medieval chef always carry a spear? He was always ready to roast a dragon!
  • What do you get when you cross a medieval knight with a werewolf? A hairy situation!
  • Why did the peasants love the Middle Ages? Because they always had a “knight” out!
  • Why did the blacksmith always carry a map? Because he didn’t want to forge-t his way back home!
  • Why did the medieval peasant become a monk? Because he heard the food in the monastery was monk-ey bread.”
  • What did the medieval barber say to the customer? “Don’t worry, I won’t take a little off the top, I’ll take a whole medieval foot off.”
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the dungeon? He wanted to see the medieval music chart-toppers.
  • Why did the peasant bring his cow to the feast? He wanted to have a medieval moo-st!
  • Why was the knight always awake during the Middle Ages? Because his armor kept him fully plate-ed!
  • Why did the Black Death go to the medieval party? It heard there would be killer dance moves.
  • I asked a medieval blacksmith for a discount, but he told me, “I don’t forge relationships based on iron-y.”
  • Why did the monk bring a ladder to the church? Because he wanted to take his spirituality to the next level!
  • What did the jester say to the king at the end of the feast? “I’m just jest-full I didn’t eat any more!”
  • Why did the medieval prince bring a pillow to battle? In case he wanted to take a knight nap!
  • They say the Middle Ages was a time of chivalry, but I think it was just a fancy word for “no deodorant”
  • Why did the medieval chef always have a messy kitchen? He liked to stir up trouble!
  • Why did the medieval peasant always carry a broom? Because he wanted to sweep his lady off her feet.
  • Why did the peasant keep falling asleep in the field? He was a medieval nap-tural.
  • I wanted to join a medieval reenactment group, but then I realized I don’t look good in chainmail or tights.
  • Why did the monk start brewing beer in the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to become a frothy friar!

 

Middle Ages Dad Jokes

Middle Ages dad jokes are the perfect mix of history, humor, and those classic dad puns that always seem to make us roll our eyes yet giggle all the same.

They’re the kind of jokes that can turn any history lesson into a comedy show.

These jokes are fantastic for history buffs, themed parties, or just a fun way to learn more about the Middle Ages.

Prepare yourself for the chuckles and the sighs.

Here are some Middle Ages dad jokes that are certain to entertain:

  • Why did the knight always carry a map during the Middle Ages? Because he couldn’t rely on his GPS in the Dark Ages!
  • Why did the medieval baker always have a successful business? Because he knew how to make a lot of dough!
  • What do you call a medieval knight who is always sleepy? Sir Naps-a-lot!
  • Why did the princess always carry a mirror during the Middle Ages? Because she wanted to reflect on her beauty!
  • Why did the princess go to school in the Middle Ages? To improve her “royal” education!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite type of footwear? Steel-toed boots!
  • What do you call a knight who puts his money in the stock market? Sir Plus!
  • Why did the blacksmith become a comedian in the Middle Ages? Because he had a knack for forging jokes!
  • Why did the knight start a gardening business during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to grow his own armor!
  • How did the blacksmith greet his customers in the Middle Ages? With a warm iron handshake.
  • How did the medieval knight feel after a long battle? He was medieval-exhausted!
  • What did the jester say to the king on his birthday? You’re not getting older, you’re just becoming more medieval.
  • Why did the knight always carry a pen during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to ‘cross’ off his enemies!
  • Why did the castle refuse to be friends with the moat? Because it thought the moat was too “drawn out”!
  • Why did the blacksmith become a knight during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to forge a new path!
  • What did the blacksmith say to the knight who wanted a new suit of armor? “It’s going to be a steel!”
  • Why did the castle chef only use round tablecloths? Because he wanted everything to have a knightly circumference!
  • How did the knight feel when he lost his sword? He was disarmed and disappointed!
  • Why did the princess keep a dragon as a pet during the Middle Ages? Because she wanted to be a fiery ruler!
  • How did the knight feel after winning the jousting competition during the Middle Ages? Absolutely lance-tastic!
  • Why did the king always carry a crown during the Middle Ages? Because it was his ‘reign’ accessory!
  • What did the medieval farmer say when he lost his cows? “I have no beef with you!”
  • How did the knight capture the castle without any weapons? He simply “drawbridged” his way in!
  • Why did the blacksmith always feel lonely during the Middle Ages? Because he had no ‘forge’iveness!
  • Why did the castle always win at chess in the Middle Ages? Because it had the “castle” advantage!
  • Why did the knight always bring a map to battle during the Middle Ages? Because he didn’t want to ‘axe’ for directions!
  • What did the medieval jester say to the king? “I’m here to make you laugh, Your Majesty. But no pressure – I’ve got a medieval sense of humor!”
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the castle during the Middle Ages? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
  • What did the blacksmith say to his apprentice? “You’re really forging ahead in your skills!”
  • Why did the baker become famous during the Middle Ages? Because he made the best “knight”-mares!
  • Why did the knight bring a pencil and paper to the battlefield during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to draw his sword!
  • How did the knight start his day? With a medieval breakfast of omelette du fromage!
  • Why were castles always cold? Because they were filled with draft-y knights!
  • Why was the knight always sad during the Middle Ages? Because he couldn’t find his shining armor!
  • Why did the king go to art school during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to draw his own conclusions!
  • Why did the knight always carry a compass? So he could find his way through the knight!
  • Why did the knight bring his own pillow to the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to sleep like a royal!
  • Why did the knight get a promotion? Because he always went the extra sword-mile!
  • Why was the knight good at math? Because he always knew how to divide and conquer.
  • What did the jester say when he won the Middle Ages comedy contest? “I’m the king of medieval humor!”
  • How did knights send messages during the Middle Ages? By using medieval mail!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a map? Because he wanted to find the “knight”ime location for his patients!
  • Why did the peasant become a jester in the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to work on his pun-try skills!
  • Why did the blacksmith always have a great sense of humor? Because he had a forged personality!
  • Why did the castle always throw great parties? Because it had a moat-tivational king!
  • What do you call a medieval musician who can’t find his instrument? A knight with no guitar!
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the sword fight? So he could have a knight’s sleep after defeating his opponent.
  • Why did the castle get great WiFi reception during the Middle Ages? Because it had a strong moat-to-moat connection!
  • Why did the knight carry a notebook? He wanted to jot down all his sword-erful adventures!
  • What did the knight say to the dragon when he defeated it? “You’ve been medieval-ed!”
  • Why did the horse make a good squire in the Middle Ages? Because he knew how to “knight” himself!
  • Why did the serf start a bakery during the Middle Ages? Because he kneaded some dough!
  • Why did the medieval king go to school? To improve his reign of knowledge!
  • Why did the castle have a hard time making friends in the Middle Ages? Because it was a bit medieval!
  • Why did the king go to school in the Middle Ages? To improve his “ruling” skills!
  • Why did the medieval musician always bring his lute to the castle? Because he didn’t want to be a part of any string conspiracy!
  • What did the jousting match say to the knight? “I’m always up for a good “point”!
  • Why did the nobleman bring a ladder to the castle? Because he heard the king wanted to raise the bar!
  • Why did the medieval jester always bring a ladder to his performance? Because he always wanted to reach new “heights” of comedy!
  • Why did the blacksmith always have trouble making armor in the Middle Ages? Because he couldn’t find any knight fabric!
  • Why was the math book sad during the Middle Ages? Because it had too many problems!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the castle in the Middle Ages? Because he heard the knights were always “raising” the roof!
  • What do you call a knight who likes to collect taxes? Sir Charge-a-lot!
  • What do you call a medieval mathematician? A sword and numbers expert!
  • Why did the peasants love farming during the Middle Ages? Because it was a great way to ‘medieval’ their hunger!
  • Why did the blacksmith always carry a ruler? Because he wanted to measure up to the knights’ standards!
  • What do you call a jester who became a knight? A knightmare!
  • Why did the knight invest in a new suit of armor? Because he wanted to upgrade from medieval to modern!
  • Why did the castle always win at hide and seek? Because it had too many towers!
  • What did the medieval peasant say when he found a gold coin? “I guess my luck just took a feudal turn.”
  • Why did the princess carry a ladder in her gown? Because she wanted to make sure she was always one step above everyone else!
  • What did the princess say to the knight? “I don’t need saving, I can handle my own dragon!”
  • What did the king say when he hired a jester during the Middle Ages? “You’ve got to be clowning me!”
  • Why did the blacksmith become a comedian during the Middle Ages? Because he knew how to forge-t the best jokes!
  • What do you call a knight who likes to recycle during the Middle Ages? Sir Cular!
  • Why did the princess enroll in archery classes during the Middle Ages? Because she wanted to be a medieval “bow-belle”!
  • What do you call a knight who likes to keep things tidy? Sir Sweeps-a-Lot!
  • Why did the medieval musician carry a pitchfork? Because he wanted to make some “fork” music!
  • Why did the princess become a math teacher in the Middle Ages? She loved working with medieval fractions – they were always proper!
  • Why did the castle’s gardener always carry a sword? To battle the stubborn weeds, of course!
  • Why did the knight bring a ladder to the medieval party? Because he heard the drinks were on the castle walls!
  • Why did the blacksmith become a comedian in the Middle Ages? Because he loved making everyone laugh with his iron-y!
  • Why do dragons never eat knights? Because they taste a bit medieval!
  • Why was the medieval castle always quiet? Because it had lots of “courts” but no “jester”!
  • Why did the knight always carry a pen and paper in battle? Because he wanted to document his sword fights and become a knight-writer!
  • Why did the blacksmith open a bakery in the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to make knight rolls!
  • Why did the medieval baker go out of business? His business was on the rise, but his bread was always a little medieval!
  • Why did the knight always carry a map in battle? So he could find his weigh to victory!
  • Why did the king sit on the throne for so long? He couldn’t find the royal cushion!
  • What do you call a knight who skips leg day? Sir Cuts-a-lot!
  • Why did the princess always carry a compass? Because she wanted to find her true knight-ingale!
  • Why did the king go to the dentist in the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to get his “crown” checked!
  • Why was the castle so noisy? Because all the knights had their armor on, and nobody knew how to break the silence.
  • Why did the dragon refuse to eat the knight? Because he was on a low-carb, high-protein diet in the Middle Ages!
  • Why did the medieval students never run out of ink? Because they always had quill power!
  • Why did the castle’s gardener always carry a sword? To “shear” his way through the hedges!
  • What was the dragon’s favorite game during the Middle Ages? “Knights and Damsels”!
  • What did the blacksmith say to the knight? “I forge-t how to make a sword!”
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the jousting tournament? Because he wanted to make sure he had a knight’s sleep before the battle!
  • Why did the knight bring a spoon to the jousting tournament? In case he wanted to have a medieval soup-er weapon.
  • What kind of tea did they drink in the Middle Ages? Knightea!
  • What do you call a knight who only fights on horseback? Sir Render!
  • Why was the knight always the life of the party? Because he always knew how to joust have fun!
  • Why don’t medieval knights like to fight in the rain? Because it dampens their spirits!
  • Why was the medieval baker so successful? Because he always knew how to “rise” to the occasion!
  • What did the jester say to the king at the medieval banquet? “I’m just kidding, my liege.”
  • Why did the knight always carry a map during the Middle Ages? To navigate through the knight-erhood!
  • What did the knight say to his squire before going into battle? “I’ll never sword-er you into danger!”
  • Why did the knight always carry a map in the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to “navigate” all the castles and quests!
  • What did the jousting knight say to his opponent? I’m lance-a-lot better than you!
  • What did the castle say to the knight? “I’m fortified, but I’m feeling a little batty!”
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the jousting tournament? Because he wanted to give his opponents a soft landing!
  • What did the medieval dentist say to his patients? “I’ll have to pull your tooth, it’s the plague of your existence!”
  • Why did the monk always carry a candle during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to enlighten everyone around him!
  • What did the knight say to his squire before every battle? “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back, armor or not!”
  • Why did the knight always carry a dictionary? Because he wanted to be a spelling bee champion.
  • What was the knight’s favorite part of the Middle Ages? The knight life!
  • Why was the knight always cool in the Middle Ages? Because he wore armor!
  • What did the knight say when he found the holy grail? “I’ve been knighted by this cup!”
  • Why did the peasant always carry a pen and paper during the Middle Ages? To take notes in his serf-classes!
  • Why did the king go to therapy during the Middle Ages? Because he had too many unresolved feudalings!
  • Why did knights always carry a sword? Because it was their knightly duty!
  • Why did the castle have a moat during the Middle Ages? Because it wanted to keep its ‘drawbridge’ fresh and clean!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite type of bread during the Middle Ages? Medieval!
  • Why did the knight always eat his vegetables during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to be a knight in shining armor!
  • Why did the knight refuse to fight in the rain? He didn’t want his armor to rust in peace!
  • What did the medieval jester say when asked to perform a magic trick? “Presto chango, I’ll make this knight disappear-o!”
  • Why did the horse join a band in the Middle Ages? Because it wanted to be a “medieval” rockstar!
  • Why did the peasant wear a crown in the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to be a “crop” king!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite fish? A swordfish!
  • Why did the serf bring a ladder to the castle during the Middle Ages? Because he heard the king’s reign was coming to an end!
  • Why did the medieval king go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to draw his own royal family!
  • What do you call a knight who likes to sing while riding his horse? Sir Loin!
  • Why did the medieval baker become a knight? He wanted to rise through the ranks and become a dough-minion!
  • Why did the princess become a baker in the Middle Ages? Because she wanted to make knight time treats!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a potion in his pocket? In case he needed to knight someone!
  • How did the blacksmith feel when he got a raise? He was finally able to forge ahead in the Middle Ages!
  • Why did the Middle Ages have so many knights? Because they couldn’t afford round tables!
  • Why did the castle throw a party in the Middle Ages? Because it wanted to have a “knight” out with its neighbors!
  • Why did the prince become a baker during the Middle Ages? Because he wanted to ‘dough’minate the kingdom with delicious pastries!
  • What do you call a medieval joke that falls flat? A knightmare!
  • Why did the peasant carry a ladder to the market? Because he wanted to rise above his station!
  • Why did the princess go to school in the Middle Ages? To learn her medieval subjects, of course!
  • What did the peasant say to the king in the Middle Ages? I’m a fan of your reig-n!
  • How did the blacksmith become the most popular person in the Middle Ages? He had the hottest takes in town.
  • What did the king say when his knights asked for a raise? “Sorry, but our budget is “swords and shields” above what we can afford!”

 

Middle Ages Jokes for Kids

Middle Ages jokes for kids are like a time-traveling jesters, whisking children away to a period full of knights, kings, and castles, all with a sprinkle of humor.

These jokes open up a portal to the past, encouraging children to laugh, learn and discover the fascinating world of history.

They inspire creativity, tickle their imagination and spark an interest in exploring the Middle Ages.

In addition, Middle Ages jokes for kids have the wonderful potential of making learning history enjoyable, transforming dusty old facts into captivating tales that amuse.

Ready to journey into a world of medieval merriment?

Here are the jokes that’ll have your young squires and maidens laughing in the castle courtyard:

  • What did the dragon say to the knight? “I’m going to toast you like a marshmallow!”
  • What’s a knight’s favorite kind of sandwich? A sword-wich!
  • Why did the dragon refuse to fight the knight? Because he didn’t want to be a medieval meal!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the royal feast? Because he heard the food was going to be on the top shelf!
  • What’s a castle’s favorite type of music? Rapunzel!
  • Why did the castle take singing lessons? It wanted to be in medieval choir-tune!
  • How did the Vikings send secret messages? Norse code!
  • Why did the princess bring a ladder to the library? She wanted to reach the fairy tales on the highest shelf!
  • What did the medieval jester say when he got a promotion? I’m jester-ified!
  • Why did the castle go to the doctor? Because it had too many moats!
  • What do you call a knight who tells funny jokes? Sir Pranksalot!
  • What was the baker’s favorite weapon in the Middle Ages? A “dough”nut!
  • What did the king say when he found out his castle was haunted? “I need a royal ghostbuster!”
  • What do you call a knight who loves to eat vegetables? Sir Loin of Greens!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the castle? He heard the king was always looking down on people!
  • What did the knight say when he lost his sword? “I must have mislaid my Excalibur!”
  • Why did the knight always carry a piece of bread? In case he got a little “knight”-mare!
  • How did the blacksmith fix his broken cart? With medieval tapestry, of course!
  • Why did the princess always carry a map? So she wouldn’t get lost in her own castle!
  • What kind of birds were in the Middle Ages? Medieval seagulls!
  • What did the princess say to the dragon during the Middle Ages? “Quit dragon your tail around and be my friend!”
  • What did the knight say when he lost his sword? “I’ve been disarmed!”
  • Why did the princess go to school in the Middle Ages? To become a ruler!
  • How do you know if a castle is shy? It keeps its drawbridge up!
  • Why was the dragon always invited to medieval parties? Because he was a fire-breathing entertainer!
  • What did the jester say to the king during their chess game? “Check mate-y!”
  • What did the knight say to the dragon? I don’t want to fight, I just want to use your fire to roast marshmallows!
  • What do you call a knight who loves to tell jokes? Sir Laughs-a-lot!
  • What did the princess say to the dragon? Thank you for being so fire-breathing!
  • What kind of stories did knights like to read? Sword and sorcery tales!
  • How did the medieval farmer fix his pants? With a cabbage patch!
  • What do you call a castle that weighs too much? A hefty fortress!
  • How did the princess know the prince was a magician? He kept pulling hares out of his hat!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the royal ball? Because he wanted to make a grand entrance!
  • What did the medieval baker say to his customers? I’m on a roll today!
  • Why did the knight bring a horse to the library? Because he wanted to check out some “knight” reads!
  • What do you call a knight who gets scared easily? Sir Render!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite meal? Dragon-derloin steak!
  • Why did the castle always win during hide-and-seek? Because it had too many towers to count!
  • What do you call a funny knight? Sir Laffs-a-lot!
  • Why did the dragon bring a pillow to the castle? Because he wanted to be a knight’s “fiery” cushion!
  • What kind of cheese is made backward? Esneech! (Cheese spelled backward).
  • What is a knight’s favorite type of music? Medieval rock and roll!
  • Why did the knight always carry a towel? Because he had a medieval perspiration problem!
  • How did the blacksmith get his hair to look so nice? He used a knight-cap!
  • Why was the knight always polite? Because he had knight manners!
  • Why did the castle get good grades? Because it always had a drawbridge!
  • Why do knights always carry a flag? Because it’s a “knight”-mare trying to find a cab!
  • What did the knight say to his horse? “Brace yourself, we’re going on a jousting spree!”
  • Why did the knight always carry a map? So he wouldn’t get “lost” in battle!
  • How do knights like their pizza? With moat-zarella cheese!
  • What did the medieval student say when he got a bad grade on his history test? Oh, well, it’s just “knight”-mare material!
  • What do you call a dragon that lives in the Middle Ages? A medieval fire-breather!
  • Why did the knight get a dishwasher for his armor? Because he didn’t want to do the medieval “dishes” himself!
  • What did the princess say to the dragon in the Middle Ages? “You’re a drag-on my castle!”
  • Why did the jousting match end early? Because everyone wanted to leave before it got too medieval!
  • What did the medieval ghost say to the other ghost? I just can’t “knight” you!
  • What do you call a knight who loves to cook? Sir Loin, the Grilling Knight!
  • Why did the medieval knight bring his horse to the beach? He wanted to go for a “knight ride” in the waves!
  • What did the blacksmith say to the knight who couldn’t find his sword? “I guess you’ve lost your knight weapon!”
  • What did the queen bee say to her knights? Make sure you bee-have yourselves!
  • Why did the castle have a moat? Because it couldn’t afford a drawbridge!
  • Why did the knight bring a pillow to the jousting tournament? In case he got sleepy during the knight’s watch!
  • How did the blacksmith get in shape during the Middle Ages? He did knight exercises!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the king’s feast? He heard the food was on a higher level!
  • What did the knight say when he found the Holy Grail? “That’s a cup-le of a discovery!”
  • Why did the medieval chef always have a great sense of humor? Because he always added a pinch of “knight”-rose to his dishes!
  • What do you call a dragon with no wings in the Middle Ages? A “ground” fire-breather!
  • What’s a knight’s favorite part of a joke? The punch-line!
  • Why did the dragon go to the medieval doctor? It had a case of “fire” throat!
  • Why did the medieval knight go to school? To improve his “sword”-smanship!
  • What do you call a knight who skips armor day at the gym? Sir Buff-less!
  • What did the jester say when he tickled the king? “Stop, you’re making me laugh-tle!”
  • Why did the king go to the doctor? He had too much reign pain!
  • What kind of books did they have in the Middle Ages? Knightmares!
  • What did the knight say to his horse before going into battle? “Giddy-up and charge forward, my trusty steed!”
  • What did the knight say when he saw the dragon? “Oh, snap! It’s time to slay the day!”
  • How did the princess know she was in love with the prince? Every knight she saw turned into him!
  • What kind of bread do knights eat? Yeast rolls!
  • Why did the princess bring a pencil to the castle? To draw her knight in shining armor!
  • What did the castle say to the knight? I’ve got you surrounded, so don’t try to draw!
  • What did the knight say when he found the Holy Grail? “This is my cup of tea!”
  • What do you call a knight who sings really well? Sir Croon-a-lot!
  • What did the jester say to the queen in the Middle Ages? You crack me up, Your Majesty!
  • What do you call a medieval knight who loves seafood? Sir Loin of the Sea!
  • What kind of snacks did knights eat during the Middle Ages? Dragon chips and swordfish sticks!
  • Why did the castle always feel lonely? Because it was always “moat-ivated”!
  • Why did the dragon go to knight school? To learn how to be a fire-breathing knight-mare!
  • Why was the medieval knight always happy? Because he always kept his armor in good knight condition!
  • How do you make a Medieval soup? Use a knight-stick!
  • Why was the medieval bakery so popular? They had knight-ful pastries!
  • Why did the princess bring a ladder to the tower? She wanted to escape from the wicked witch’s clutches!
  • What did the medieval king say when he was feeling down? I’m feeling a little sword today.
  • Why did the castle always have a party? Because it had great knights!
  • What was the wizard’s favorite type of music in the Middle Ages? Spell-binding melodies!
  • Why did the king go to school? To improve his royal “count”-ing skills!
  • What did the jester say to the king at the Middle Ages party? “You jest!” .
  • What did the knight say to his horse? “Nay, it’s time to gallop to the jousting tournament!”
  • Why did the knight always carry a lunchbox? In case he got hungry on his knightly quests!
  • What did the princess say when she was told she couldn’t have dessert? “I want my just desserts!”
  • Why did the knight take his horse to the library? He wanted to read up on “knights”!
  • What was a knight’s favorite part of a meal? The knightcap!
  • How did the blacksmith get out of the maze? He hammered his way through!
  • Why do dragons make terrible comedians? Because they always “drag-on” with their jokes!
  • What did the jester say to the knight? Why so serious?
  • How did the knight fix his broken armor? With a suit of armor glue!
  • What did the jester say to the king at the medieval feast? “You’re a royal pain in the armor!”
  • What did the knight say to the dragon? “Quit dragon your feet!”
  • What did the knight say to the princess? “I’ll save you a medieval thyme!”
  • Why did the princess become a baker in the Middle Ages? Because she kneaded a change!
  • What do you call a knight who skips his armor? Sir Render!
  • How did the knight feel after his jousting match? He was Lance-tastic!
  • What did the knight say when he lost his armor? “I can’t find my suit of armor! It’s been knight-napped!”
  • What did the blacksmith say to the knight? “I’m forging ahead with my plans!”
  • How did the king find his queen in the Middle Ages? He had her medieval number!
  • What did the jester say to the knight? “I’m just kidding!”
  • How do you make a knight stop smelling? You take away his armor!
  • Why did the dragon go to school? To get a higher education in fire-breathing!
  • Why did the knight sleep during the day? Because he did knight shifts!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the dungeon? Because he wanted to cheer up the grouchy dragon!
  • What did the king say when he farted? “I have gas-tly manners!”
  • What did the medieval teacher say to his students? Knight school starts at dawn!
  • How do knights like their eggs? With a medieval twist!
  • Why did the knight go to the dentist? To get a little plaque removed!
  • What kind of car did the knights drive in the Middle Ages? A Mercedes Lance!
  • What kind of jokes did knights tell during the Middle Ages? Medieval puns!
  • What do you call a knight that likes to play hide and seek? Sir Prize!
  • Why did the jousting tournament get postponed? The knights couldn’t find their horses!
  • What kind of car did knights drive? A horse-less carriage!

 

Middle Ages Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t indulge in a hearty laugh with some Middle Ages humor?

Middle Ages jokes for adults crank up the cleverness, mingling medieval wit with a hint of sauciness.

Just like a perfectly brewed mead, these jokes mix elements of humor, wit, and a sprinkle of naughtiness for an unforgettable chuckle.

These jokes are perfect for dinner parties, book clubs, history buffs, or simply to ease the tension in a serious conversation among friends.

Here are some Middle Ages jokes that are ready to transport adults back to the time of knights and castles:

  • What did the medieval chef say when he made a mistake? “Well, that’s a sword point!”
  • Why did the medieval serf become a barber? Because he wanted to make ends meet!
  • Why did the monk join a band? He wanted to chant his way to stardom!
  • Why did the medieval blacksmith always win in a fight? He knew how to forge ahead and strike while the iron was hot!
  • Why did the princess start using a pen name? She didn’t want her knight in shining armor to find out she was secretly writing romance novels!
  • Why did the medieval king hire a jester with a broken leg? He wanted some comic relief!
  • Why did the medieval baker become a knight? He wanted to prove he could make the best rolls in the kingdom!
  • What did the blacksmith say when he accidentally hit his thumb with a hammer? Fief!
  • Why did the peasant refuse to play cards with the king? He didn’t want to deal with royalty!
  • Why did the castle’s moat feel lonely? It was tired of being a medieval waterway and wanted to make a medieval friendship drawbridge!
  • Why did the medieval chef always carry a sword in the kitchen? In case he had to cut the cheese!
  • Why did the dragon refuse to fight in the Middle Ages? It didn’t want to be a “cinder”ella story!
  • What did the jester say to the king at the Medieval comedy show? “You’re a real jest-taker!”
  • Why did the serf go to the market? He wanted to exchange peas for a knight out!
  • What did the medieval doctor say to his patient? “I’m sorry, but I can’t cure your knightmares!”
  • Why did the medieval farmer always feel lucky? He was always winning in the game of “medieval of fortune”!
  • What did the medieval doctor say to the patient with a broken arm? “Don’t worry, it’s just a fracture of habit!”
  • Why don’t dragons ever attack knights? They can never get their armor back on after using the bathroom!
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the king’s banquet? Because he wanted to make some high-level jokes!
  • Why did the minstrel never get a promotion? He always sang the same old songs!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a flask of whiskey? To keep the spirits high during surgeries!
  • How did the blacksmith feel when he made a mistake? He was hammered!
  • Why did the medieval student bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to reach the high shelves of knowledge!
  • Why did the blacksmith get knighted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • What did the medieval doctor say to his patients? “Have you tried the leeches? They’re all the rage!”
  • Why did the knight refuse to fight on an empty stomach? He didn’t want to go into battle with a sword appetite!
  • Why did the medieval knights always carry a map? They didn’t want to lose their bearings!
  • Why did the knight take up gardening? Because he wanted to lance a lot!
  • Why did the knight bring a portable fan to the jousting tournament? He wanted to keep cool under his armor!
  • What did the king say to his knights when they returned from battle? “Good job, now let’s knight-cap!”
  • Why did the medieval farmer take up singing? He wanted to be a medieval troubadour, but he couldn’t carry a tune in a knight’s helmet!
  • Why did the peasant bring a ladder to the jousting tournament? He heard it was a high-stakes event!
  • Why did the blacksmith always get his way? Because he knew how to forge ahead!
  • What do you call a jousting match between two rabbits? Hare-raising!
  • What did the medieval monk say when he won the lottery? “Holy moly!”
  • Why did the peasant become a jester? He wanted to get a taste of the medieval stand-up scene!
  • What did the medieval dentist say to the knight with cavities? “You need to brush more often, Sir Floss-a-lot!”
  • Why did the princess fail her history test on the Middle Ages? She thought Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife!
  • What did the medieval knight say when he couldn’t find his sword? “I’ve lost my knightly weapon, I’m feeling so dis-armed!”
  • Why did the blacksmith always win the archery competitions? He had a keen “forge” sight!
  • What do you call a medieval painter who only paints dragons? Leonardo da Vinci!
  • How did the blacksmith become the best in town during the Middle Ages? He always struck while the iron was hot!
  • What do you call a medieval rock band? Sword and Garters!
  • Why did the medieval doctor always carry a chicken? To check if his patients had knight fever!
  • Why did the princess become a math teacher? She wanted to teach her students how to count castles!
  • Why did the castle ghost always fail at pranks? Because he couldn’t be sheet-faced in the Middle Ages!
  • Why did the dragon go on strike during the Middle Ages? He was tired of being a hot-headed villain!
  • What did the blacksmith say to his apprentice? “Quit horsing around and get back to work!”
  • What do you call a knight who likes to play sports? Sir Champsalot!
  • Why did the knight bring a ladder to the medieval jousting tournament? He wanted to go up against the competition!
  • What did the knight say to the dragon during their duel? “You’re toast!”
  • Why did the blacksmith enjoy his job during the Middle Ages? He got to forge new friendships!
  • Why was the jester always so happy during the Middle Ages? Because he was the king of puns!
  • Why did the princess become a baker? She couldn’t resist the allure of knight bread!
  • Why was the blacksmith the best party guest? He always forged ahead and had a great time!
  • Why did the medieval chef always have a good time? Because he loved cooking with knights!
  • Why did the knight always carry a sword? Because it was his medieval times weapon of choice!
  • Why did the wizard never get invited to the Middle Ages parties? Because he always turned people into newts and left them hanging!
  • Why did the blacksmith make terrible jokes? He always forged the punchline!
  • What did the medieval doctor prescribe for a knight with a sore throat? A trebuchet to launch lozenges!
  • What did the king say when the blacksmith presented him with a bill? “This is quite iron-ic!”
  • What did the medieval king say when he lost his crown? “I’m not amused, it’s a real crown-down situation!”
  • Why did the princess go to the ball in a pumpkin carriage? The horse-drawn carriage was on medieval strike!
  • Why did the knight bring a ladder to the battlefield? He heard the odds were stacked against him!
  • Why did the knight take up gardening? He wanted to sow his wild oats!
  • Why was the knight always running late? He couldn’t find his “knight”stand in the morning!
  • Why did the blacksmith always carry a hammer and chisel? He liked to chip away at his problems!
  • Why was the Middle Ages fashion so stylish? Because they always had a knight out on the town!
  • Why did the castle always throw fancy dinner parties? It had a lot of knight life!
  • Why were medieval streets always wet? Because of all the knights dew!
  • Why was the medieval barber considered the best therapist in town? Because he always knew how to cut to the chase!
  • What do you call a musician who lived during the Middle Ages? A minstrel-of-none!
  • Why did the medieval carpenter become a comedian? He nailed every punchline!
  • What did the jousting horse say to the knight? “I’m tired of carrying your lance around, it’s time you took the reins!”
  • Why did the princess have a hard time making decisions? She was always weighing the pros and cons!
  • Why did the medieval chef become a knight? Because he knew how to slay in the kitchen!
  • Why did the princess always carry a ruler? To measure her knight in shining armor!
  • Why did the knight carry a sword and a dictionary? In case he needed to use his words or his sword to win an argument!
  • Why did the jester always carry a ladder during the Middle Ages? He wanted to reach new heights of comedy!
  • Why did the blacksmith love his job in the Middle Ages? Because it was a real forge of employment!
  • Why did the knight always carry a piece of parchment? Because he wanted to draw attention to himself!
  • Why did the medieval banker always have a smile on his face? He loved “coin”ing new phrases!
  • Why did the blacksmith always have the best parties? He knew how to forge-t about the troubles of the Middle Ages!
  • What did the knight say when his squire asked if he needed help with his armor? “No thanks, I can handle it plate by plate!”
  • Why did the jester bring a ladder to the Middle Ages ball? He wanted to make sure he had a high point of view for his jokes!
  • Why did the princess get good grades in math? Because she was a ruler!
  • What do you call a medieval vegetable garden? A “knight”shade!
  • Why did the peasant refuse to work in the castle kitchen? He didn’t want to be a serf-ing suggestion!
  • Why did the queen always carry a sword with her? She believed in ruling with an iron fist… or sword!
  • Why did the medieval baker always have trouble finding a date? He was always kneady!
  • How did the medieval knight cure his sore throat? He used “sword” throat lozenges!
  • Why did the medieval barber always have a bad hair day? He always got tangled up in the feudal system!
  • Why did the medieval baker always have a full customer base? Because he kneaded the dough!
  • What did the Blacksmith say to the knight who couldn’t pay? “Sorry, no money, no sword!”
  • Why did the knight refuse to fight with a pencil during the Middle Ages? He believed in the “sword” of the stone, not the lead of the graphite!
  • Why did the knight switch to herbal tea? He wanted to lance his caffeine addiction!
  • What did the medieval dentist say to his patients? “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt a trebuchet!”
  • Why did the knight prefer to fight with a pencil instead of a sword? He wanted to draw out his opponents!
  • What did the princess say to the knight who stood her up? You really know how to lance a lady’s heart!
  • What did the medieval jester say when he was asked to tell a joke? “I’ve got a knight full of them!”
  • Why did the medieval villagers always carry umbrellas? Because it was the knight’s reign and it always rained arrows!
  • What did the castle say to the medieval knight? “I draw the moat!” .
  • What did the medieval doctor say to a patient with a broken leg? “Don’t worry, I can fix you up in no time, it’s a medieval miracle!”
  • Why did the medieval chef always add extra spice to his meals? He liked to keep things medieval and wild!
  • Why couldn’t the king trust his jester’s cooking? Because every meal was a jest-tastrophe!
  • What do you call a medieval king who loves gardening? Plantagenet!
  • What did the knight say to the invisible man? I can’t see you, but I can see right through you!
  • Why did the princess become a baker? She wanted to make some knight and shining scones!
  • Why did the peasant refuse to wear a crown? He didn’t want any royal head aches!
  • Why was the jester the king’s favorite? Because he always brought medieval laughter to the court!
  • Why did the princess become a historian? She wanted to reign over her knowledge of the past!
  • How did the medieval king communicate with his subjects? Through royal mail!
  • Why did the king never trust his court jester’s advice? Because it was always a joke!
  • Why did the princess become a mathematician? She wanted to solve problems with her knight in shining armor!
  • Why was the knight always a winner at chess? Because he was a master of the castle!
  • What was the medieval knight’s favorite type of exercise? Sword-robics!
  • What did the medieval chef say when someone asked for a vegetarian dish? “Lettuce prey!”
  • Why did the knight bring a map to the jousting tournament? Because he didn’t want to get lost in thought!
  • Why were medieval people so good at math? They always knew how to count on their fingers…and toes!
  • Why did the castle always throw parties? Because it knew how to keep the medieval spirit high!
  • Why did the king visit the doctor during the Middle Ages? He couldn’t stop reign-nosing!
  • Why did the medieval king go to school? He wanted to brush up on his reign!
  • Why did the knight bring a ladder to the medieval dance? He heard the ladies loved a high-born partner!
  • What do you call a medieval knight who is afraid of horses? Sir Render!
  • Why did the monk become an artist? He wanted to draw inspiration from a higher power!
  • What did the medieval professor say when his students asked if they could bring their pet dragons to class? “Sorry, no fire-breathing allowed, this is a strict no-dragon zone!”
  • Why did the princess always carry a ladder with her? She wanted to keep her options open for escaping unwanted suitors!
  • What do you call a medieval musician who can’t play any instruments? A troubadour “without” talent!
  • Why did the knight carry a flask of water into battle? In case he got a little horse!
  • Why did the medieval farmer become a knight? He wanted to go from peasantry to knighthood!
  • Why did the medieval peasant always carry a map? Because he didn’t have GPS, but he had a knight vision!
  • Why did the knight wear headphones in battle? So he could listen to his favorite medieval hits and slay the competition!
  • What did the medieval knight say to his squire? I’m going to armor you with compliments!
  • Why did the jester become a baker? He kneaded a new career after all his jokes fell flat!
  • Why did the knight go to the dentist? He had a dragon breath!
  • Why did the medieval chef always carry a sword in the kitchen? He wanted to slice and dice with honor!
  • What did the medieval baker say to his apprentice? “Don’t loaf around, we knead to get this bread done!”
  • Why did the dragon refuse to attack the castle in the Middle Ages? It didn’t want to be known as a fire-breathing cliché!
  • What do you call a medieval pirate with a lisp? A sword swallower!
  • What did the knight say to his squire after a long day of battling? “I need a page break!”
  • Why did the medieval chef get fired? He couldn’t make enough knightly meals, it was a real peasant problem!
  • Why did the castle always throw parties? Because they had a drawbridge to get all the guests in!
  • Why did the queen never go to the dentist? She was crowned with perfect teeth!
  • What do you get when you mix a knight and a dinosaur? A tyranno-sword-us rex!
  • What did King Arthur say when he went to the dentist? “I need a crown!”
  • Why did the medieval castle have such great Wi-Fi? Because they used a strong medieval router!
  • Why was the medieval knight always ready to fight? Because he had a lot of sword-ware!
  • What do you call a medieval musician who can’t carry a tune? A minstrel malfunction!
  • What did the wizard say to the knight who forgot his armor? “No chainmail, no gain, male!”
  • Why did the monk join the jousting tournament? He wanted to prove he was a spiritual knight!
  • Why did the medieval king become a dentist? He wanted to rule the kingdom of cavities!
  • Why did the castle’s garden always smell so nice? Because it had a lot of medieval herbs and peasants!
  • Why did the peasants always look forward to the Middle Ages? It was the only time they got to eat on a medieval!
  • Why did the medieval peasant keep falling asleep on his horse? He couldn’t stop hitting the snooze-knight!
  • What did the medieval doctor say to his patient? “Take two leeches and call me in the morning!”
  • Why did the castle never laugh at the king’s jokes? Because it had too many stones!

 

Middle Ages Joke Generator

Crafting a Middle Ages joke can sometimes feel like trying to storm a castle without a battering ram.

(Quite a siege, huh?)

That’s where our FREE Middle Ages Joke Generator marches in to save the day.

Designed to merge witty puns, medieval merriment, and clever quips, it generates jokes that are guaranteed to make even the sternest knights chuckle.

Don’t let your humor become as outdated as a feudal system.

Use our joke generator to craft jokes that are as timeless and captivating as the Middle Ages themselves.

 

FAQs About Middle Ages Jokes

Why are Middle Ages jokes so popular?

Middle Ages jokes are popular due to their blend of historical context and humor.

They offer a unique way to explore a fascinating period in history while providing comic relief.

Plus, the contrast between medieval times and modern life often makes for amusing anecdotes and punchlines.

 

Can Middle Ages jokes help in social situations?

Yes, indeed!

Sharing a Middle Ages joke can serve as an ice breaker, spark a lively conversation about history, or just lighten the atmosphere.

They are particularly appealing to history buffs, but their humorous take on a bygone era can make them entertaining for just about anyone.

 

How can I come up with my own Middle Ages jokes?

  1. Learn more about the Middle Ages—their customs, culture, significant events, etc.
  2. Look for peculiar medieval phrases or names that could lead to interesting wordplay.
  3. Think about the scenario of your joke. Is it about a jousting match? A royal court? A peasant’s daily life? The more specific your setting, the funnier your joke can be.
  4. Try to juxtapose medieval circumstances with modern-day situations for a comical effect.
  5. Don’t shy away from puns and playful linguistics—they can add an extra layer of humor to your Middle Ages jokes.

 

Are there any tips for remembering Middle Ages jokes?

Consider associating your Middle Ages jokes with certain historical events or figures.

This method can turn your joke into a memorable anecdote.

Also, regularly sharing these jokes with friends or family can help solidify them in your memory.

 

How can I make my Middle Ages jokes better?

The trick is in the delivery and content.

Your joke should strike a balance between being historically accurate and amusing.

Try to surprise your audience with an unexpected twist, and don’t be afraid to incorporate puns or clever wordplay.

The more you share and refine your jokes, the better they’ll become.

 

How does the Middle Ages Joke Generator work?

Our Middle Ages Joke Generator is a tool designed to provide a quick laugh with a historical twist.

Simply enter keywords related to the Middle Ages or to the situation you want your joke to revolve around, then hit the Generate Jokes button.

In no time, you’ll have a collection of hilarious, history-themed jokes at your disposal.

 

Is the Middle Ages Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Middle Ages Joke Generator is entirely free to use!

You can generate as many jokes as you want, providing you with a constant supply of humor from the medieval times.

Spice up your conversations with a dash of historical hilarity!

 

Conclusion

Middle Ages jokes are a fascinating way to add a touch of merriment to everyday chats, making life a bit more delightful with each chortle.

From the swift and clever to the long and hearty, there’s a Middle Ages joke for every gathering.

So next time you’re delving into a history book, remember, there’s hilarity to be found in every knight, jester, and feudal tale.

Keep spreading the jests, and let the jolly times jest and jest again.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without a Middle Ages quip—unthinkable and, frankly, a bit less entertaining.

Happy joking, everyone!

Monarch Jokes That Rule the Comedy Kingdom

Dragon Jokes That Will Fire Up Your Humor

Jester Jokes to Keep You Laughing Through the Ages

Knights Jokes That Will Make You Feel Like a King

Castle Jokes for a Medieval Laugh

Similar Posts