516 Nun Jokes That Turn the Chapel into a Comedy Club

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to delve into the divine world of nun jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the absolute blessings of humor.

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the most saintly and hilarious nun jokes.

From heavenly puns to consecrated one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every aspect of cloistered life.

So, let’s embark on this journey of holy hilarity, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Nun Jokes

Nun jokes are a distinct category of humor that tickles the funny bone in a surprisingly pious way.

This humor is not just about the nuns themselves, but about the rich culture, traditions, and stereotypes surrounding them.

The stereotypes about nuns being stern, serious, and aloof provide a backdrop against which the punchlines of these jokes really shine.

Crafting a nun joke requires a playful understanding of their lifestyle, a pinch of mischievousness, and a dash of respect.

It’s all about taking commonly held images of nuns and turning them on their head, poking gentle fun at the unexpected.

Whether it’s the image of a nun speeding down the highway or playing poker, the incongruity between our expectations and the joke’s punchline is what makes them so amusing.

Ready for a divine dose of humor?

Get ready to confess to bouts of laughter with these nun jokes:

How did the nun become a supermodel? She was blessed with divine beauty!
Why do nuns always carry a map? Because they’re always on a divine mission!
Why did the nun become an archaeologist? She wanted to dig deep into the mysteries of faith.
Why did the nun join the police force? She wanted to “habit” of catching criminals!
Why did the nun become a farmer? She heard the crops needed some divine intervention.
Why did the nun go to art school? She wanted to master the art of praying!
What do you call a nun who’s sleep-deprived? A wide awake sister.
How did the nun become a detective? She had a knack for finding “sister”-ious clues!
Why did the nun become an engineer? She wanted to build a “convent-ional” career!
Why did the nun join a basketball team? She heard they had some great habits!
Why did the nun get a job at the bakery? She heard they kneaded a lot of dough!
Why don’t nuns wear underwear? To get a better grip on their rosary!
Why did the nun become a professional boxer? She wanted to throw holy punches!
Why did the nun become a referee? Because she always called a fair game!
Why did the nun use a ruler in the kitchen? She needed to measure holy water!
How do nuns in wheelchairs pray? They give it a roll and a prayer.
Why did the nun only use her debit card at the church? Because she didn’t want to run out of “holy cash”!
How do nuns start their letters? “Dear Lord, have you got a minute?”
Why did the nun only travel by foot? She didn’t want to use a “holy roller”!
What did one nun say to the other while they were shopping? “Let’s go buy some sister sizes!”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the bakery? She wanted to measure up to the “holy” bread standards!
What kind of car does a nun drive? A “virgin” mobile!
Why did the nun only eat one potato chip? She thought “one is nun-ficient!”
What do you call a nun who just passed her driving test? Sister Turn Signal!
Why don’t nuns wear makeup? Because God loves them “as is”!
What did one nun say to the other nun while driving? “We’re on the straight and “narrow” now!”
Why don’t nuns need to take a nap? Because they already have the habit!
Why did the nun go to the seafood restaurant? She wanted to try some holy mackerel!
What did the nun say to the priest in the strip club? “Forgive me, Father, for I have gazed!”
What did the nun say when asked if she had a sense of humor? “Of course, I find the Lord quite punny.”>
Why did the nun become a referee? She wanted to call a fair habit.
Why did the nun get a tattoo? She wanted to be a sister with some ink!
What did one nun say to the other when they saw a vampire? “Holy water you waiting for?”
What did the nun say to the priest after they went skydiving? “Holy cow, that was fun!”
How do you make a nun smile? You tickle her where she keeps her rosary!
Why did the nun join a baseball team? She heard they needed someone to catch all the “foul” balls!
What do you call a nun who’s driving a yellow car? A sister taxi!
Why did the nun become a referee? She wanted to keep everyone in line!
Why did the nun start a fight with a mime? She wasn’t a fan of silent prayers.
How do you make a nun giggle? Tickle her “holy” funny bone!
Why did the nun go to the bakery? She heard there were lots of good “sister-cakes” there.
What did the nun say to the priest after he told her a joke? “You’re in Sister-ious trouble!”
Why did the nun carry a ruler at all times? She wanted to measure the lengths of sinners!
What did one nun say to the other nun in the water park? “Holy moly, we’re having a splashin’ good time!”
Why don’t nuns wear bras? Because God supports them!
Why did the nun always win at poker? She had a direct line to the “heavenly flush”!
Why did the nun become a basketball coach? Because she had a habit of making free throws!
What did the nun say when she found out she won the lottery? “Oh my God, I can finally quit being a nun!”
Why did the nun only use the computer at night? She didn’t want to disturb the sister-curity system.
Why do nuns always carry a ruler? To measure up to the Lord’s standards!
What did the nun say when she won the lottery? “God must be my lucky habit!”
Why did the nun go to the bakery? She needed a little bit of “heavenly bread” to rise her spirits!
Why did the nun refuse to go skydiving? She didn’t want to push her “heavenly” luck!
What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head? Sister “Spin Cycle.”>
How do you know if a nun has a sweet tooth? She always has a “habit” of sneaking into the dessert section!
Why don’t nuns ever go on vacation? They just take a “habit”at!
Why did the nun go to the baseball game? She heard there was going to be a habit!
Why did the nun start an online store? She wanted to spread the “nun-sense”!
Why did the nun become an archaeologist? She was digging up her past!
How do you know if a nun is a good singer? When she hits all the “holy” notes!
Why did the nun start a music band? She wanted to hit the “sister” notes!
What did the nun say to the priest at the costume party? “Holy cow, you make a great nun!”
Why don’t nuns ever go on vacation? They believe in nun and done!
Why don’t nuns like baseball? Because they don’t like getting caught in a pickle!
Why did the nun carry a map with her? Because she didn’t want to get “crossed” on her journey.
Why did the nun only use her debit card? She didn’t believe in cash habits.
Why did the nun carry a penguin under her arm? Because the Mother Superior told her to “keep a cool habit”!
What did the nun say when she saw a group of dancing penguins? “Looks like they’ve got happy feet, just like us!”
What did the nun say to the priest when he told her a joke? “You’ve got great pun-ctuality!”
Why did the nun become a farmer? She heard she could raise “holy” cows on the farm!
How did the nun become an expert at poker? She had a good habit of bluffing!
Why do nuns always travel in groups? Because they’re sisters!
How do nuns make holy water? They boil the hell out of it!
Why don’t nuns ever go bald? Because they have the greatest “hail” care routine!
Why did the nun take up gardening? She wanted to sow the seeds of righteousness.
Why did the nun become a stand-up comedian? She heard laughter was the best “habit”!
Why did the nun throw a clock out the window? She wanted to see time fly.
What did one nun say to the other nun while they were drinking tea? “I hope there’s no habit-forming substances in this!”
What did the nun say to the priest when he asked if she wanted to go skydiving? “Heavenly Father, give me strength!”
How do you make a nun giggle? Tickle her where she has no sense of humor!
What do you get when you cross a nun and a kangaroo? A “holy” jumper.
Why did the nun become an archaeologist? She wanted to dig deep and find her “holy” grail.
Why did the nun put her money in the blender? She wanted to make holy water!
What did the nun say when she saw a ghost? “Holy spirits!”
How do you know a nun is a good singer? She carries a holy note!
Why did the nun use a ruler while cooking? She wanted to measure the “divine” proportions.
Why did the nun become a referee? She was tired of being the only one in the habit.
Why did the nun become a locksmith? Because she heard every door should be “holy” locked!
What do you call a nun with a gambling problem? A Sister Luck!
What did the nun say when asked if she was on a diet? “Nun of your business!”
Why did the nun only eat holy bread? She didn’t want to end up with a bad habit.
What kind of sports car does a nun drive? A “holy” roller!
Why did the nun bring a penguin to the convent? She wanted to have a nun-chilling experience.
Why did the nun go to the bakery? She wanted to get a “habit” for sweets.

Short Nun Jokes

Short nun jokes are like the unexpected giggle during a solemn prayer service—unexpected, cheeky, and surprisingly amusing.

Ideal for icebreakers, social media posts, or just a quick laugh during a gloomy day, these jokes deliver a burst of hilarity in bite-sized portions.

The charm of short nun jokes lies in their ability to be respectful yet humorous, leaving you with a smile on your face in just a few words.

So, are you ready for a dose of divine comedy?

Here are some short nun jokes that are sure to bring a little heavenly humor to your day.

What do you call a nun who rides a bicycle? Virgin mobile!
Why don’t nuns ever go broke? Because they rely on “heavenly” finances!
What’s a nun’s favorite kind of music? Gregorian chant-astic!
Why do nuns make great comedians? They have divine wit!
What kind of music do nuns listen to? Gospel and Nun-Jazz!
What’s a nun’s favorite type of math? Roman numerals!
Why don’t nuns go on vacation? They already live in a habit-ation!
What do you call a nun who skydives? Sister Glider!
How does a nun start a conversation? She says, “Sisters and misters!”
How do nuns communicate with each other? Through “pray”er messages!
Why don’t nuns wear braids? They don’t want to be knotty!
What do you call a nun who plays baseball? A sister slugger!
How do nuns communicate with each other? On a heavenly WiFi network!
What’s a nun’s favorite song? “Like a Virgin Mary” by Madonna!
Why did the nun become a referee? She loved calling fouls!
What’s a nun’s favorite exercise? Holy-robics!
What do you call a nun who’s a magician? Sister Abracadabra!
How do nuns start a conversation? “Nun of your business!”
How did the nun fix her broken halo? With holy duct tape!
What do you call a nun who’s sleep deprived? A roamin’ insomniac!
How do you get a nun’s attention? Dress up as a priest!
How do nuns post on social media? Nun of your business!
What did the nun say when she saw a vampire? “Oh, brother!”
How do you get a nun’s attention? Wave some fried chicken!

Nun Jokes One-Liners

One-liner nun jokes are the epitome of humor, wrapped up in one quick quip.

They’re the verbal equivalent of nailing a Hail Mary prayer – unexpected, surprising, and strikingly funny.

Crafting an effective one-liner requires a unique blend of creativity, sharpness, and a deep understanding of the art of humor.

The true challenge lies in creating a joke that encapsulates both the setup and the punchline in one brief statement, delivering a powerful laugh in as few words as possible.

Here’s to hoping these nun one-liners have you falling out of your pew with laughter:

Why did the nun bring a map to the church? She didn’t want to get “convent”-ional directions.
Why don’t nuns need to exercise? They have holy habits!
Why did the nun get a job at the sandwich shop? She wanted to spread the word of God between two slices of bread!
I asked a nun if she ever goes online, she replied, “Only to check the holy Wi-Fi.”>
Why did the nun start a gardening club? She loved getting her hands dirty and growing “holy” plants!
Why don’t nuns wear underwear? God can see through their habits!
Why did the nun carry a ruler in her pocket? To keep the sinners in line!
What do you call a nun who tells jokes? A holy comedian.
Did you hear about the nun who joined a biker gang? She’s known as Sister Hell’s Angel!
Why don’t nuns like to go to the beach? Because they don’t want to get in the habit!
Why did the nun only buy used cars? Because she believed in the power of the second-hand.
What did the nun say to the unruly children in her class? “You better pray for forgiveness, or I’ll give you a habit you won’t forget!”
Why did the nun become an astronaut? She wanted to go to a place that’s truly ‘out of this world.’.
What’s a nun’s favorite sport? Nun-chucks!
How did the nun become the fastest runner in the convent? She was blessed with heavenly speed!
Why do nuns always carry a ruler? To measure their blessings!
I asked a nun if she had any dirty habits, she said, “Only when I forget to do laundry.”>
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the art class? She wanted to reach the “higher” arts!
What did the nun say when she went skydiving? “Holy jump!” .
I asked a nun if she had any siblings. She replied, “Only the heavenly kind.”>
Why did the nun become a detective? She wanted to solve “holy” mysteries!
What do you call a nun who’s a great singer? A nun-stop vocalist!
Why did the nun bring a camera to the game? To capture some heavenly shots!
How do you get a nun’s attention? Wave your hands and say, “Sister Act!”
Why don’t nuns have any money? Because they have no habits.
What do you call a nun with a chainsaw? Sister Slicer!
What did the nun say to the priest after he told a bad joke? “You’re not getting any chapel time for that one!”
Why did the nun only drink holy water? Because it’s free on tap!
What did the nun say when she walked into the bar? “Holy spirits, Batman!”
Did you hear about the nun who joined a bike gang? She was a holy roller.
How did the nun become the head of the convent? She just got “habitual” at it!
Why did the nun keep falling off her bike? Because she was a bad habit.
Why did the nun become a skydiver? She wanted to be closer to heaven!
Why did the nun become a referee? She wanted to bring some “holy” decisions to the game!
Why did the nun only use her debit card at the church? She didn’t want to be charged with a sin-fee.
Why did the nun start a landscaping business? Because she had a habit of planting flowers!
Why did the nun become a referee? Because she loved blowing her whistle and giving out penalties!
How do nuns write secret messages? With an In-nun-erable ink!
What do you call a nun who’s addicted to social media? A Facebook Sister.
What do you call a nun who breaks the rules? A rebel without a prayer.
What did the nun say when she saw the priest doing karaoke? “Holy smokes, that’s a bad habit!”
Why did the nun become an artist? She wanted to create “heavenly” masterpieces.
Why do nuns always carry a tissue? In case they get a nunny nose!
What did the nun say to the priest at the talent show? “Holy cow, you’ve got some moves!”
Why did the nun join a dating site? She wanted to find a “holy” mate.
What did the nun say to the priest at the ice cream parlor? “Holy cow, this is a heavenly scoop!”
What did the nun say to the priest after their tennis match? “You’ve been serving the Lord on and off the court!”
What did the nun say to the priest at the bakery? “Let us “knead” and “pray” for delicious bread!”
Why did the nun always bring a map to church? She wanted to pray for world “peas”!
Why did the nun go to the bank? To check her “holy” balance.
Why did the nun join a motorcycle gang? She wanted to experience some divine intervention on the open road!
Why did the nun go to jail? She couldn’t resist the temptation of a bad habit.
Why don’t nuns wear makeup? Because God said, “Let there be light,” not “Let there be bronzer.”>
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the “holy” spirit!
How do nuns make their tea? Nun-chalantly!
Did you hear about the nun who won the lottery? She decided to take a vow of poverty and share it all with the church!
What did one nun say to the other nun at the beach? “Holy mackerel, these habits are too hot for summer!”
Why did the nun always carry a ruler? To keep everyone in line, of course!
Why did the nun go skydiving? She wanted to experience “heavenly” freefall!
How did the nun become a computer expert? She had a lot of nun-ternal memory.
Why don’t nuns ever go on vacation? They believe in taking a permanent vow of stay-cation!
What did the nun say when she walked into the seafood restaurant? “Holy mackerel!”
Why did the nun only use the express lane at the grocery store? She liked to keep her habits short!
What do you call a nun who loves to shop? A “sister shopaholic”!
I tried to tell a nun a joke, but she didn’t find it very holy. She said it was nun-sense!
How does a nun clean her computer? With a keyboard of prayers!
Why did the nun become a taxi driver? She loved taking the holy rollers for a ride!
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the swimming pool? To measure the depths of her sins!
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy.
Why don’t nuns ever get sick? Because they have “holy” immunity!
What do you call a nun who sleeps too much? A roamin’ Catholic!
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the gym? She heard it was a great way to measure her “sisters.”>
What did the nun say to the priest at the coffee shop? “I don’t mean to be a habit, but can I get a latte?”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to bed? In case she had to measure her sleep habits.
Why did the nun go to art school? She wanted to become a sister in paint!
What’s a nun’s favorite part of the newspaper? The crosswords, of course.
Did you hear about the nun who started a diet? She said she wanted to be a little more “nun”-chalant!
Why did the nun only bring one shoe to the convent? She heard she should always be prepared in case of a holy sole!
Why don’t nuns ever go on diets? Because they already have enough self-discipline!
What did the nun say when she caught the priest telling a joke during mass? “Holy laughter, Father!”
I saw a nun riding a bicycle with a sign that said “Jesus Saves.” I guess she must be cycling for redemption.
Why don’t nuns have any cavities? Because they use holy water to brush their teeth!
I asked a nun if she believed in love at first sight. She replied, “I have never seen it.”>
I asked a nun if she ever gets tempted. She said, “I’m not going to lie, I do have a habit.”>
Why did the nun wear a headset? She was on a “holy” call!
What do you call a nun who’s always on the run? A Roamin’ Catholic.
Did you hear about the nun who joined a basketball team? She was a real habit-breaker!
Why did the nun always carry a ruler? To measure her blessings, of course!
Why don’t nuns wear shorts? Because they don’t want to show their holy knees!
What do you call a nun who sleepwalks and bakes cookies? A cookie nun-ster!
What did the nun say to the devil? “You can’t habit your way with me!”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the art class? She wanted to draw a straight habit!
Why did the nun become a taxi driver? She wanted to spread the fare of God.
Why did the nun become a goalie? Because she didn’t want to be called Sister Mary Goaliest!
What did the nun say to the priest at the bakery? “Holy roll-y, you knead Jesus!”
Why did the nun always carry a map? So she could find the straight and narrow path.

Nun Dad Jokes

Nun dad jokes are a holy mixture of religious puns and dad humor that can make anyone chuckle and roll their eyes simultaneously.

They’re the kind of jokes that are so cheesy, they’re actually hilarious.

These jokes are ideal for church gatherings, family dinners, or just to spread a bit of lighthearted humor with a touch of the sacred.

Prepare for the heavenly groans.

Here are some nun dad jokes that are guaranteed to bless your sense of humor:

Why don’t nuns wear watches? Because time doesn’t matter when you’re in nun-iform!
What did one nun say to the other in the vegetable garden? “Lettuce pray for a bountiful harvest!”
Why did the nun go skydiving? She wanted to experience a truly divine jump!
Why did the nun only bring 11 desserts to the church potluck? Because she heard that 12 would be “nun-too-much”!
What did one nun say to the other nun while they were running? “We’re running out of time, sister!”
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the convent? Because she heard the sisters were reaching new heights!
Why did the nun always carry a pen and paper? She wanted to take notes during her prayers, just in “case”!
How do nuns count their blessings? They use their “nun-chucks”!
Why did the nun use a computer? She wanted to go nun-line shopping!
Why did the nun carry a penguin with her everywhere? Because it was her little holy waddle!
Why don’t nuns tell jokes while washing their clothes? They don’t want to break their “holy” water!
What do you call a nun who drives a sports car? A holy roller!
Why did the nun become a baseball coach? Because she always knew how to keep the team “in the habit” of winning!
Why did the nun go to the art museum? She wanted to see the holy paintings!
Why was the nun such a great gardener? Because she had “divine” green thumbs!
How did the nun fix her broken bicycle? With “nun” of your business!
Why did the nun become a math teacher? Because she loved adding up her blessings!
What do you call a nun who just got out of the shower? Sister Wet Habit!
How do you know if a nun is having a bad hair day? When she’s wearing a bad-habit!
What kind of shoes do nuns wear? Faith heels!
Why don’t nuns wear makeup? Because they believe in nun-tural beauty!
Why did the nun only use her phone for emergencies? She didn’t want to get called a nun-cell.
Why did the nun become a surgeon? She wanted to help with the “holy” organ transplants!
What did the nun say to the priest at the ice cream shop? “I’ll have a double scoop of heavenly delight!”
How did the nun solve the math problem? She prayed for a divine solution!
How did the nun fix her broken rosary? With some “nun-chucks”!
Why did the nun jump out of an airplane? She wanted to experience a leap of faith!
What did the nun say to the priest when she caught him playing video games? “You better get your Halo fixed!”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the art museum? She wanted to measure the “divine” proportions of the paintings!
What did the nun say to the priest who stole her dessert? “God will whip you into shape!”
Why did the nun become a stand-up comedian? She had a habit of making people laugh!
How does a nun practice her singing? She uses a “holy” karaoke machine!
What do you call a nun with a sense of humor? A Sister Funnybone!
How do nuns clean their clothes? With holy detergent!
Why do nuns always travel in pairs? One to keep the other nun in line!
Why did the nun only use the computer for one hour each day? She didn’t want to become a “sister” of the online world!
What do you call a nun who sleeps on the floor? A carpet-ist!
Why don’t nuns like going online? They prefer to live in the cloistered web!
What’s a nun’s favorite type of exercise? Pray-robics!
Why did the nun join a baseball team? She had a habit of hitting home runs!
Why did the nun always carry a map? So she wouldn’t get nun-lost!
What did one nun say to the other when she couldn’t find her rosary? “Have you checked the heavenly lost and found?”
What did the nun say to the priest after the church’s air conditioner broke? “Father, I think we need some divine intervention!”
Why did the nun go to the basketball game? Because she heard they had holy hoops!
How do nuns say hello to each other? They wave and say, “Holier than thou!”
What do you call a nun who sleepwalks in a garden? A “roamin’ Catholic” in the basilica!
Why don’t nuns ever go on vacation? They can’t find any habitable places!
Why did the nun become a referee? Because she had a habit of calling fair plays!
What did the nun say to the comedian? “You better not be talking about holy “roller” derby!”
How do nuns perform exorcisms? With holy “water”-boarding!
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the church? Because she wanted to get a little closer to the heavens!
What do you call a nun who’s always on time? A nun-stop watch!
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the playground? To measure the amount of fun she was having!
Why don’t nuns go on vacation? They already have “nun-stop” devotion!
Why don’t nuns ever have bad hair days? Because they have perfect habits!
Why did the nun join a softball team? She wanted to practice her “nun-chuks” skills!
Why did the nun go to the baseball game? Because she heard they were giving out free habits!
What did the nun say to the comedian? “You have great nun-liners!”
Why did the nun become a chef? She loved using her “holy” recipes!
What did the nun say to the priest while playing cards? “I can see right through your holy hand!”
Why did the nun join a band? Because she had the habit of making great music!
Did you hear about the nun who started a bakery? She kneaded a way to spread the holy dough!
Why did the nun join a baseball team? She heard they needed a good catcher!
Why did the nun refuse to play cards? She didn’t want to be involved in any habit-forming activities!
What do you call a nun who is a great singer? A holy karaoke nun-star!
Why did the nun become an electrician? She felt a strong connection to the Divine power!
Why did the nun only use her computer on holy days? Because she didn’t want to get caught using the “sister-net”!
How do you make a nun laugh on a Saturday night? Tell her a holy pun!
Why did the nun become a gardener? Because she wanted to “cultivate” her relationship with God!
Why did the nun become a chef? Because she wanted to make holy cannoli!
How do nuns start a conversation? With a nun-sequitur!
What did the nun say to the priest at the baseball game? “Holy cow, let’s pray for a home run!”
Why did the nun become a gardener? She wanted to see flowers bloom in her convent!
What did the nun say to the priest at the baseball game? “Holy catcher’s mitt!”
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the convent? Because she wanted to take her spirituality to new heights!
What did the nun say to the priest who told her a joke? “That’s unholy, Father!”
Why did the nun start a bakery? Because she kneaded a little extra dough!
What did the nun say to the comedian? “You’re a real sister-act!”
What do you call a nun who’s also a lawyer? Sister Sue-able!
Why did the nun only use email to communicate? She didn’t want to get caught using nun-mail!
What did the nun say to the comedian? “I’m used to habits, not jokes!”
Why did the nun join a basketball team? She wanted to shoot some hoops with her habit!
What do you call a nun who owns a liquor store? Sister Margarita!
Why did the nun have a pet bird? She wanted a little “sister” to keep her company!
How did the nun improve her social media presence? She became a “holy” influencer!
What do you call a nun who loves to skydive? A “fallen angel”!
Why did the nun use an umbrella? To protect herself from “nun-shine”!
Did you hear about the nun who joined a local soccer team? She became the goalie because she had a habit of saving goals!
Why did the nun become a teacher? Because she wanted to school everyone in her habit!
How do you know when a nun is having a bad hair day? When she puts her habit up in curlers!
Why did the nun become a baseball coach? Because she knew how to “catch” a prayer!
What did the nun say to the coffee shop owner? “I’ll take a small habit with extra nun of sugar!”
What did the nun say to the detective? “You have the right to remain silent, sister!”
Why did the nun become a referee? Because she always knew when to call a “holy foul”!
Why don’t nuns wear makeup? Because God’s already their foundation!
Why did the nun become a librarian? She wanted to be surrounded by the Good Book!
What type of music do nuns listen to? Gregorian chants!
Why did the nun become a detective? She was great at finding the sinners!
Why did the nun go to the baseball game? Because she heard they were playing with the Holy Spirit!
Why did the nun start a bakery? Because she wanted to “knead” some spiritual bread!
What did the nun say to the praying mantis? “Don’t even think about it!”

Nun Jokes for Kids

Nun jokes for kids are the friendly jesters of the joke world—gentle, clever, and always popular with the younger audience.

These jokes inspire children to explore humor in a respectable and light-hearted way, nurturing a love for laughter that’s as timeless as the habit itself.

Plus, nun jokes for kids have the added benefit of making learning about religion more enjoyable, transforming the image of a stern nun into a source of amusement.

They’re safe, fun, and can even be educational!

Ready to bring some giggles into your day?

Here are the nun jokes that’ll have your kids laughing all the way to Sunday School:

Why did the nun carry a map? Because she wanted to be a “Sister Navigator!”
What did the nun say to the priest at the charity event? “Holy cow, this is a habit-forming experience!”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the park? To measure how long she could play!
Why did the nun go to the baseball game? Because she heard there would be lots of sisters (cisterns) there!
What do you call a nun who keeps winning at poker? A ‘holy roller’!
What did the nun say when she won the lottery? “Heaven must be missing an angel!”
What did the nun say to the vegetable garden? “Lettuce pray and give peas a chance!”
Why did the nun wear a penguin costume? She wanted to have a habit with a waddle!
What did the nun say to the bee? “Bee-hive yourself and stay ‘nun’ of your own beeswax!”
What is a nun’s favorite type of exercise? Nun-chucks!
What did the nun say to the big wave? “Holy mackerel!”
Why did the nun use a pencil at confession? Because she wanted to make sure her sins were “number two”!
What did the nun say when she saw the priest doing cartwheels? “You have to be habit-forming!”
Why did the nun put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold hard “nun-ey”!
What do you call a nun who becomes a lawyer? A “sister” in law!
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the library? Because she heard the bookworms were on the top shelf!
What did the nun say to the misbehaving children? “You better pray for forgiveness!”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the bakery? To measure the length of the holy roll!
Why did the nun go to the dentist? She needed a little extra ‘nun-floss’!
Why did the nun become an electrician? She loved to light up the world!
Why did the nun always carry a ruler? So she could ‘measure’ up to the other sisters!
What type of key opens a nun’s door? A nun-chuck!
What do you call a nun who drives a tractor? A sister-cultivator!
Why did the nun become an artist? Because she had a divine brush stroke!
Why did the nun take up gardening? She wanted to grow her own holy basil!
Why did the nun bring a map to the church? Because she wanted to ‘unearth’ some holy land!
Why did the nun sit on the clock? She wanted to go back in time and relive her glory days!
What did the nun say to the comedian? “You’re hilarious, you should be a sister-cuit!”
Why don’t nuns ever go on vacation? They don’t want to take the habit of going away!
Why did the nun bring a ladder to choir practice? Because she wanted to reach the high notes!
What is a nun’s favorite type of dance? Soul “sisters”!
Why did the nun use a compass in class? To find her way to heaven!
Why did the nun start a band? She had the habit for music!
Why did the nun wear a helmet while praying? In case she had a heavenly head-banging session!
What did the nun say to the priest at the baseball game? “Holy cow, that was a great catch!”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the vegetable garden? To measure the “sister-cumference” of the cucumbers!
What did the nun say when she won the lottery? “Heaven help us!”
Why did the nun wear a new habit every day? She wanted to keep “holy” fashionable!
What do you call a nun who runs a marathon? A “Sister Speedy!”
Why did the nun bring a tub of ice cream to the church? Because she wanted to have a habit of eating dessert!
Why did the nun become a baseball coach? She wanted to help the players become “holy hitters”!
Why did the nun go to art school? She wanted to perfect her holy painting skills.
Why did the nun use her ruler to measure the pizza? She wanted to determine the holy circumference!
Why did the nun go to the doctor? She wasn’t feeling habit-ual.
What did the nun say to the comedian? “God bless you with good jokes!”
How do nuns travel? By holy roller.
Why did the nun go to the dentist? To get her “holy molars” checked!
Why did the nun only use her debit card? She believed in paying on the Holy Spirit!
What did the nun say to the priest at the baseball game? “Holy cow, we need some divine intervention!”
How do you make a nun laugh? Tick-lees!
Why did the nun go to school early? She didn’t want to be late for pray-time!
Why did the nun buy a smartphone? She wanted to pray and play with apps!
What do you call a nun who sleepwalks and talks in her sleep? A “roamin’ Catholic” with a “preachy” dream!
Why did the nun bring a red pen to church? In case she needed to correct any holy typos!
Why did the nun take up gardening? She wanted to find her inner peas.
How do nuns stay warm in winter? They rely on their “heavenly habits.”>
Why did the nun become a math teacher? Because she believed in adding more “sister-ity” to the classroom!
What did the nun say to the priest during the baseball game? “Holy hit, Father!”
What did the nun say to the bumblebee? “Nun of your beeswax!”
Why did the nun only wear one shoe? Because she had a soul to save!
What do you call a nun who’s a professional musician? A sister act!
Why did the nun go to the baseball game? Because she heard they were going to have a habit of catching!
How do nuns say hello to each other? Nun-theless!
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the library? To reach the higher power!
Why did the nun go to the baseball game? She heard the pitcher was a real “holy roller”!
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the church? Because she wanted to climb up the ‘holy’ stairs!
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the library? Because she wanted to reach the highest shelf for some heavenly books!
Why did the nun become a librarian? She loved reading the Bible and being quiet!
What did one nun say to the other nun while driving? “Sister, are we there yet?”
Why did the nun always carry a pen and paper? In case she had to write a “sister-ious” note!
What did one nun say to the other nun while they were cleaning? “Holy dust bunnies, Batman!”
Why did the nun join a boxing club? She wanted to throw some holy punches!
Why did the nun become a librarian? She loved the silent prayers.
What do you call a nun who is also a firefighter? Sister Inferno!
Why did the nun bring a map to the art museum? To find the holy paintings!
How do nuns start their prayers? “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep…”>
Why did the nun only play card games? Because she didn’t want to be a nun-sense!
What kind of key opens a nun’s car? A “hymn” key!
Why did the nun have a great memory? She always said her prayers with a lot of “re-collection”!
Why did the nun always carry a tissue? In case she came across any “holy water”!
Why did the nun go to the bakery? She heard they had “heavenly rolls”!
What did the nun say to the misbehaving children? “You better repent or face some divine consequences!”
Why did the nun always carry a ruler? To measure how long she’s been good!
Why did the nun become a teacher? She wanted to be a “holy ruler”!
Why did the nun go to art school? She wanted to learn how to draw a perfect habit!
How does a nun ask for a favor? “Sister, sister, can you please habit?”
Why did the nun become a soccer player? Because she had a “holy” goal!
What do you call a nun who sleepily walks in her sleep? A roamin’ Catholic!
Why did the nun go to the bakery? She wanted to get her daily bread!
Why did the nun use an umbrella? Because she wanted to be a “holy” roller!

Nun Jokes for Adults

Who claims adults can’t appreciate a clever nun joke?

Nun jokes for adults elevate the humor, merging cultured wit with a slice of audacity.

Just like the holy mix of peacefulness and discipline in a convent, these jokes blend elements of wit, wisdom, and a splash of irreverence for an unforgettable chuckle.

These jokes are ideal for dinner gatherings, pub nights, or simply to add a hint of levity in a deep discussion among friends.

Here are some nun jokes that are perfectly tailored for adults:

What’s a nun’s favorite type of music? Gospel! Because it’s got soul!
Why did the nun become a skydiving instructor? She wanted to help people find a higher calling!
Why don’t nuns wear underwear? They have holy habits!
What did the nun say to the priest after a long day of gardening? “Holy plants, we’ve been weeding all day!”
Why did the nun get a ticket for reckless driving? She was caught going way over the “Our Father” limit!
Why don’t nuns use cell phones? They’ve taken a vow of silence and texting would be too noisy!
What did the nun say to the priest in the garden? “You can’t be serious, Father! I’ve never seen cucumbers that big!”
What did the nun say to the priest when they were playing tennis? “You can’t serve God and volley!”
Why did the nun bring a potted plant to the casino? She wanted to play holy poker!
What did the nun say to the priest at the costume party? ‘I see you’re dressed to the nines!”.
Why don’t nuns go on vacation? They prefer to stay in cloistered environments!
What did one nun say to the other while they were in the bathtub? “Where’s the soap… and where’s the amen?”
Why don’t nuns wear braids? Because it interferes with their habit!
What did the nun say to the priest after a long day? “Holy fatigue!”
What did the nun say to the priest after their tennis match? “You’ve got some divine skills!”
What did one nun say to the other at the gym? “Let’s kick some habits!”
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile!
What did the nun say to the devil? “Get thee behind me, but don’t push too hard!”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the art class? To measure the “sister scale” of the students’ drawings!
What did the nun say to the computer? “Oh, holy Ctrl-Alt-Delete!”
Why did the nun become a professional chef? She had a knack for whipping habits into shape!
What did the nun say to the priest at the salad bar? “Lettuce pray and make this dressing divine!”
Why did the nun become an artist? She wanted to perfect the habit of painting!
How do you make a nun smile? Say “Jesus loves you” and wait for her heavenly grin!
What did one nun say to the other nun in the casino? “We’re having nun of this!”
Why did the nun bring a ruler to the poker game? To measure the “sister sizes” of the cards!
What did the nun say to the priest during confession? “I’ve been secretly practicing stand-up comedy in the convent!”
Why did the nun go skydiving? She wanted to show her faith could reach new heights!
Why did the nun join a gym? She wanted to work on her holy fitness!
Why did the nun join Twitter? She wanted to spread the good word in 280 characters or less!
Why do nuns always travel in pairs? One nun always needs a “holy sister” for backup!
How do you know when a nun is having a bad day? She puts her rosary beads on backwards!
Why did the nun start a gardening business? She wanted to grow some heavenly herbs!
Why did the nun use her laptop during church services? She was praying for a faster connection to heaven!
Why did the nun start a singing career? She had a heavenly voice and wanted to hit the high notes!
Why do nuns always carry umbrellas? In case of “holy” water showers!
What did the nun say when asked if she wanted to play cards? “Sure, I love a good game of nun-ber one!”
What did one nun say to the other while they were driving? “We’re on a “holy” roller coaster!”
What did the nun say when she saw the priest putting on his pants backward? “Forgive me, Father, for I have seen your behind!”
Why did the nun become a taxi driver? She loved taking people to heaven!
What did the nun say to the devil? “I’ve been serving God for years, so be prepared for some holy whoop-ass!”
Why don’t nuns make good comedians? Their jokes are too holy for most people!
Why don’t nuns wear underwear? So they have a better grip on their rosaries!
Why did the nun start a business selling flowers? She wanted to spread the seeds of divine beauty!
Why did the nun always carry a map? She wanted to stay on the “righteous” path!
What did the nun say to the priest at the costume party? “I see you’re dressed as a father, but where’s your sense of humor?”
Why don’t nuns wear makeup? Because they already have the “heavenly glow”!
What do you call a nun who’s always running late? A habitually tardy sister!
Why did the nun bring a ruler to bed? To measure how much she slept like an angel!
Why don’t nuns need makeup? Because they’re already holy-er than thou!
What do you call a group of nuns rolling down a hill? A holy-roller derby!
Why did the nun always carry a penguin with her? Because she thought it was a nun-slippery slope to be without one!
What do you call a nun who walks on the moon? A “sister-naire”!
Why did the nun become a skydiver? She wanted to experience a heavenly free fall!
How do you get a nun’s attention? Wave some cashews under her nose and say, “Mother Superior, look, they’re holy nuts!”
What did the nun say to the duck? “Bless you, my child!”
Why did the nun only eat holy bread? She couldn’t resist a little breademption!
Why do nuns always travel in pairs? Because they need a “nun-stop” buddy!
What do you call a nun who sleepwalks and swears? A roamin’ Catholic with a foul habit!
Why did the nun start a gardening club? She wanted to cultivate her spiritual growth!
Why did the nun bring a ruler to bed? She wanted to measure her “divine intervention”!
What did the nun say to the priest after a long day? “I need to get some nun-chucks!”
Why don’t nuns tell jokes? Because they have nun-sense of humor!
Why don’t nuns play cards in the convent? They’re afraid of getting caught by the “sister-curity” cameras!
What did the nun say to the priest during their tennis match? “You’ve been serving the Lord better than me!”
Why did the nun become a detective? She had a knack for solving holy mysteries!
What did one nun say to the other while driving? “Sister, slow down! We’re not in a “holy” race!”
Why did the nun join the police force? She wanted to be a “soul” officer!
Why did the nun become a stand-up comedian? She wanted to spread laughter and “holy” humor!
Why did the nun go to the bakery? She had a sudden knead for some holy rolls!
Why did the nun become an artist? She had a habit of drawing things!
Why did the nun go to the basketball game? She wanted to support her favorite team, the “Hail Mary’s”!
What did the nun say to the priest when he asked her to marry him? “Sorry, Father, but I’m already wedded to God!”
Why did the nun join a gym? She wanted to gain some “heavenly” strength!
What did the nun say to the priest at the dance party? “Let’s show them some heavenly moves!”
Why did the nun become an umpire? She loved calling “habit balls” and “nun-strikes”!
Why did the nun take up gardening? She wanted to cultivate a habit!
What do you call a group of nuns fighting over the last piece of chocolate? A holy war!
What did the nun say to the bartender when he asked if she wanted a cocktail? “No thanks, I’m already in a holy spirit!”
Why did the nun join a baseball team? She wanted to be a great catcher in the choir!
What did the nun say to the priest on their lunch date? “Holy guacamole, this salad is divine!”
Why did the nun bring a ladder to the convent? She heard the church was looking for a higher power!
What did the nun say to the mosquito? “Sister, forgive me for I have slapped!”
Why did the nun get kicked out of the golf course? She kept adding ‘Amen’ after every stroke!
How do you make a nun swear? Ask her to wait in line at the DMV!
What do you call a nun who just won the lottery? A nunbelievable jackpot winner!
Why did the nun go to the doctor? She had a bad habit!
What did the nun say when she won the lottery? “God works in mysterious “jackpot” ways!”
Why did the nun join a softball team? She wanted to catch some fly balls!
Why did the nun start a YouTube channel? She wanted to spread the good habit!
Why did the nun get kicked out of the library? She couldn’t resist checking out the forbidden sections!
Why don’t nuns ever go skydiving? They believe in taking the “leap of faith” quite literally!
Why did the nun open a bakery? She kneaded a change of habit!
What did the nun say when she won the lottery? “I guess it’s nun of my business anymore!”
Why did the nun become a professional boxer? She wanted to knock some “sister sense” into people!
What did one nun say to the other nun at the bakery? “Let’s get a habit of eating too many donuts!”
What do you call a nun with a gambling addiction? A bet-sister!
Why do nuns make great detectives? Because they always have a habit of finding the truth!
Why did the nun become a professional boxer? She had a habit of knocking out her opponents!
What kind of shoes do nuns wear? Sneakers, because they’re always on a “holy mission!”
How do you make a nun smile? Tell her a heavenly joke!
Why did the nun start a bakery? She wanted to make “holy” rolls!
What did the nun say to the priest at the costume party? “You look divine!”
How did the nun become a successful rapper? She dropped the ‘Sister’ and became a mister!
Why did the nun join a band? She wanted to be a little more “nun”conventional!
Why did the nun refuse to play cards with the shark? She didn’t want to get caught up in a habit of gambling!

Nun Joke Generator

Getting the perfect nun joke to roll off your tongue can sometimes feel like you’re stuck in a confession booth.

(You see what I just did there?)

That’s where our FREE Nun Joke Generator swoops in to bless your day.

Designed to stitch in smart puns, divine humor, and quirky phrases, it crafts jokes that are sure to deliver heavenly laughter.

Don’t let your humor become as quiet as a church mouse.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as lively and entertaining as a choir of nuns.

FAQs About Nun Jokes

Why are nun jokes so popular?

Nun jokes are popular because they play on the humorous contrast between the solemn, devout image of nuns and the silliness or unexpectedness of the punchline.

They offer a gentle, affectionate kind of humor that can make people of all backgrounds laugh.

Can nun jokes help in social situations?

Absolutely!

Sharing a well-timed, respectful nun joke can break the ice, make people laugh, and lighten the mood.

These jokes often carry a sense of nostalgia and warmth that can be very appealing.

How can I come up with my own nun jokes?

Get to know the world of nuns—their duties, their habits (clothes and behaviors), their daily routines, etc.
Think about the stereotypes or common perceptions people have of nuns and play on those in a respectful way.
Consider the setting of your joke. Is it a convent, a church, or maybe a school? Use this to guide your humor.
Take a well-known phrase or situation and give it a nun-related twist.
Puns and wordplay often work well in nun jokes—so don’t be afraid to get creative!