777 Public Transport Jokes to Fuel Your Sense of Humor

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to embark on the journey through the world of public transport jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the top-tier of hilarity.

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the most hilarious public transport jokes.

From amusing anecdotes about buses to witty subway puns, our compilation has a joke for every commuter’s experience.

So, let’s dive into the bustling hub of public transport humor, one joke at a time.

Public Transport Jokes

Public transport jokes are a journey into the hilariously absurd world of everyday commuting.

They’re not only about the vehicles we ride in, but also the unique experiences we encounter during our daily commute.

From buses that seem to have a mind of their own to subways that always arrive when you’re running late, public transport offers countless scenarios for comedy.

The art of creating the perfect public transport joke involves a good understanding of this shared experience, playing with the unpredictability of transit schedules, and the diverse personalities we encounter on our travels.

Ready to ride the laughter express?

Hop on board with these public transport jokes.

• Why was the public transportation system like a marathon runner? Because it always had a “bus-y” schedule!
• What did the car say to the train? “Don’t look now, but there’s a boogie-woogie bus coming your way!”
• Why did the elephant take the monorail? Because it wanted to go on a trunk trip!
• Why did the train conductor become a chef? Because they loved the sound of “all aboard” turning into “all a-broiled”!
• Why did the taxi driver keep a toothbrush in his glove compartment? For those who need a brush-up before their destination!
• Why did the train go to the gym? It wanted to get “track” and field ready!
• Why did the bus driver get lost? His GPS told him to take the next left, so he took three lefts and a right!
• Why don’t trains ever gossip? Because they can’t keep track of the stories on the go.
• Why did the subway train become a comedian? Because it had a great track record for making people laugh!
• Why do buses make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always miss their stops!
• Why did the bus always carry an umbrella? Because it heard there was a chance of “showers” on its route!
• Why don’t trains ever become detectives? Because they always follow the tracks!
• What do you call a public bus with no driver? Outstanding in its field trip!
• Why do trains make such good detectives? Because they have loco-motives.
• Why did the ghost refuse to ride the train? It didn’t want to go off-track!
• Why do buses never gossip? Because they have too many stops to make!
• Why did the subway station get promoted? Because it was always going above and beyond the call of “duty”!
• Why was the bus driver arrested? Because they couldn’t keep their hands off the “steering” wheel!
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he was caught speeding on the highway to laughter!
• Why are trains so good at basketball? Because they know how to make a good track record.
• Why did the bus driver carry a red marker? In case he wanted to draw some bus stops!
• What do you call a sheep riding the subway? A “wool-commuter”!
• Why did the train bring a ladder to work? Because it heard it needed to climb the corporate tracks!
• Why did the bus take a break? It needed to “re-fuel” with some good jokes!
• What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks? A “transporter”! It can make the traffic disappear!
• Why don’t skeletons ride the bus? They don’t have the guts for it!
• Why did the public bus refuse to go uphill? It didn’t want to get exhausted!
• What do you call a sleeping bus driver? A nap-ster!
• Why was the subway station a great place for a wedding? Because it had lots of train-ing!
• Why do buses make good comedians? They know how to deliver a punchline and stop at the right station!
• Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t keep his passengers under “fare” control.
• Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t stop making bus puns, it was a fineable offense!
• Why do people love riding buses? Because it’s a fare deal!
• Why do buses never get lonely? Because they always have plenty of passengers to talk to.
• Why did the subway musician become a comedian? Because he wanted to get some “underground laughs”!
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because they couldn’t keep their passengers in line!
• Why did the subway skip the party? It didn’t want to get caught up in all the underground drama!
• Why did the taxi driver get a parking ticket? He was just trying to curb his enthusiasm!
• Why did the taxi driver become an actor? He loved being in the driving seat, but preferred a different kind of transport!
• Why don’t buses like driving through cemeteries? Because they prefer the living passengers!
• Why did the subway get in trouble? It couldn’t keep track of its schedules!
• Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, he was always driving people bananas!
• Why did the train go to the library? To find some new tracks to follow.
• Why did the subway refuse to play cards? Because it was afraid of dealing with the underground world.
• Why do trains always make great actors? Because they can “platform” themselves in any role.
• Why did the tomato turn red on the subway? Because it saw the ketchup approaching!
• Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t “drive away” from the puns!
• Why don’t buses make good comedians? Their punchlines are always late!
• Why did the smartphone take the train? Because it couldn’t find a Wi-Fi signal on the bus!
• Why did the scarecrow refuse to take the train? It heard it was always getting “loco”!
• Why did the public transport get arrested? Because it was involved in some shady bus-iness!
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired from commuting every day!
• Why was the train station so cold? Because all the fans left!
• Why did the train take a nap? It was on track for exhaustion!
• Why did the subway hire a professional chef? Because it wanted to make sure the trains were always well-seasoned!
• Why do buses always arrive at their destination on time? Because they know how to make good connections!
• What did the bus say to the passenger who wouldn’t stop talking? “I think it’s time to “bus-t” a move and end this conversation!
• Why did the passengers on the subway start clapping? Because it was the last stop and they finally escaped the crazy guy’s monologue!
• What do you call a fish that rides the subway? A clownfish!
• Why did the fireman take the bus to work? Because he didn’t want to get burned out.
• Why was the subway so crowded? Because it had a lot of track records to break!
• What did one bus say to the other? “I’m sorry, I can’t stop for a chat. I’m running on a tight bus schedule!”
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged on the subway!
• What do you call a bus driver who can play musical instruments? A multi-tasking conductor.
• Why was the taxi driver so good at math? Because he knew all the angles!
• Why was the train always tired? Because it had been on track all day!
• Why don’t skeletons ever take the train? Because they don’t have the guts for it!
• Why don’t skeletons take public transportation? They’ve lost their bus passes, and they don’t have the guts to ask for another one!
• Why do buses make good detectives? They always have their eyes on the road!
• Why did the train conductor get a ticket? He didn’t punch it in time!
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired from all the public transportation jokes!
• Why did the bus driver get lost? Because they took the wrong turnpike!
• What do you call a chicken that crossed the road, rolled in mud, and then crossed the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
• Why did the ghost ride the train? Because it wanted to go on a boo-rride!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transport? Because it heard the cornfield express was a-maize-ing!
• Why did the train get in trouble at school? It couldn’t stop pulling pranks on the tracks!
• Why did the bus get a ticket? It was caught “tyred” of waiting at the stop!
• Why did the conductor bring a ladder onto the train? He wanted to climb the corporate tracks!
• Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because they were always driven to succeed!
• Why did the computer go to the train station? It wanted to catch the byte train!
• Why did the bicycle take the bus instead? It was two-tired to ride itself!
• Why did the bus driver go to therapy? Because he lost his drive!
• Why did the train conductor go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to draw a “locomotive”!
• Why was the bus driver so good at basketball? Because they knew how to “drive” to the hoop!
• Why did the bicycle fall asleep on the train? Because it was two-tired!
• Why did the passenger bring a pillow on the bus? To have a “comfy commute”!
• Why did the bus blush? It saw the traffic light changing and thought it was red!
• Why do buses always arrive at the right time? Because they have a great bus driver who knows how to “steer” things in the right direction!
• Why do trains make great comedians? They have a good “track” record for delivering laughs!
• Why do buses make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always go “over the passengers’ heads”!
• Why did the bus driver become a doctor? Because they wanted to practice some “drive-by” check-ups!
• Why did the ghost refuse to take the bus? Because it couldn’t get on board without a ticket!
• Why did the bus driver get a gold medal? Because he was tireless!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus to work? Because he wanted to ride the straw-way!
• Why did the taxi driver get a ticket? Because they didn’t fasten their seatbelt… they were too focused on fastening their passengers’ seatbelts!
• What did one traffic light say to the other? “Don’t look now, but here comes the bus, and it’s a real gas!”
• Why do buses never get lonely? Because they always make lots of new “road” friends!
• Why don’t public transport vehicles ever win at poker? Because they always have too many buses!
• Why do buses make good comedians? Because they always have lots of jokes about traffic congestion!
• Why did the train conductor go to therapy? Because he had too many tracks on his mind!
• Why did the bus driver invite everyone to his party? He wanted to “drive” everyone crazy with fun!
• Why did the bus driver get into a fight? Because he wanted to be a street fighter!
• Why did the train conductor become a stand-up comedian? Because he had a lot of “rail” jokes!
• Why did the scarecrow ride the bus? Because he needed to catch up on his field trips!
• Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to reach the high notes on the bus route!
• Why did the math book take the train? It wanted to improve its number sense!
• What’s the best way to catch a squirrel on a subway? Act like a nut and it will come to you!
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he was caught pickpocketing fuel from other vehicles!
• Why did the train conductor always bring a pencil? In case he needed to draw a train of thought!
• Why don’t scientists trust public transport? Because it has too many variables!
• Why did the subway station start a band? Because it had so many platforms!
• What do you call a dog on public transport? A barking bus!
• Why did the bus stop blushing? Because it saw the subway train’s underground!
• Why did the bicycle refuse to ride the subway? It thought it would get “tyred” of all the stops!
• Why did the man bring a spoon to the bus stop? Because he heard there would be a lot of traffic!
• Why did the ghost take the bus? Because it wanted to travel in ghoul style.
• Why did the train go to the dentist? Because it had a lot of plaque on its tracks!
• Why did the subway station become an artist? Because it had a lot of platforms for creativity!
• Why don’t buses ever get lonely? Because they always make lots of new “tire-ends”!
• Why was the computer cold on the subway? Because it left its Windows open!
• Why did the bus driver get a sunburn? Because he didn’t use enough shade!
• Why did the train attend yoga classes? It wanted to stay on track!
• Why did the train break up with its partner? It heard they were just going through a tunnel phase!
• Why did the bicycle go to the train station? Because it lost its balance!
• Why did the bus driver give up his career as an artist? He couldn’t handle the commuters anymore, they always wanted him to draw them a bus!
• Why did the conductor of the orchestra take the bus? He wanted to make sure everyone was in transit!
• What did the traffic light say to the pedestrian? “Don’t “walk” away without hearing my joke!”
• Why did the scarecrow take public transport? Because he heard it had a lot of straw stops!
• What do you call a group of musical passengers on a train? A jam band!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard it had great “bustle” service!
• Why did the taxi driver start a gardening business? Because he wanted to “drive-thru” flowers on his routes!
• Why did the ghost refuse to take the train? It didn’t want to get on the “boo-s”!
• Why did the mathematician always take public transportation? Because he loved solving “bus” problems!
• Why did the elephant bring a suitcase on the bus? Because it wanted to pack its trunk!

 

Short Public Transport Jokes

Short public transport jokes are like a smooth ride on an empty bus—brief, refreshing, and surprisingly enjoyable.

These jokes are perfect for quick texts, social media posts, or those times when you want to lighten the mood in a crowded subway car.

The charm of short public transport jokes is in their ability to deliver a chortle in just a few words, whether it’s an unexpected punchline about a bus driver or a witty one-liner about the subway.

So, fasten your seat belts and get ready for a laughter ride.

Here are some short public transport jokes that deliver a quick chuckle at the speed of a rushing express train.

• Why did the music conductor ride the train? He had perfect timing!
• What’s a subway’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub-woofer!
• What do you call a train that sneezes? A choo-choo-choose you!
• Why do bicycles fall over easily? Because they are two-tired!
• Why don’t zombies like using public transportation? They prefer braindrains!
• What do you call a bus that’s falling apart? Public trans-portion!
• Why do buses never gossip? They like to keep their passengers’ secrets!
• What do you call a sheep on a public bus? A “ram-bus”!
• Why don’t buses play baseball? They don’t want to get caught stealing!
• Why don’t buses ever get into trouble? They always stay on track!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transport? He needed some straw-bus!
• Why do trains never gossip? They have too many tracks to mind!
• What do you call a bus with no driver? A ghost bus-tour!
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It couldn’t find its balance!
• What do you call a bus that sings? A tuneful transport!
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
• Why do birds make terrible public transport drivers? They always wing it!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it had no brains!
• Why did the subway apologize? It was sorry for running late again!
• Why did the train blush? It saw the subway’s tracksuit!
• What’s a bus’s favorite type of music? Traffic jams!
• What’s a train’s favorite dessert? A “track”leberry pie!
• What do you call a cat on a train? An engine purr-rrr-rrr!
• What do you call a bus that’s been to space? An astron-bus!
• Why do buses make terrible detectives? They always lose their tracks.
• Why did the smartphone take the subway? It wanted to stay connected!

 

Public Transport Jokes One-Liners

Public transport one-liner jokes are the embodiment of humor, delivered in a single concise sentence.

They’re much like a timely arrival of a bus or train – unexpected, rewarding, and effortlessly charming.

Creating a great one-liner necessitates a combination of ingenuity, finesse, and a profound understanding of the subtle art of humor.

The challenge lies in compressing the setup and punchline into a succinct format, guaranteeing maximum amusement with minimum words.

Here’s to these public transport one-liners having you chortling like a delighted passenger who just found an empty seat during rush hour:

• Why did the subway car break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the constant train of thought!
• I saw a sign on the bus that said “No eating or drinking allowed.” So I waited until I got off the bus to finish my pizza.
• I was going to tell a joke about public transport, but it’s over my bus stop.
• I always give a standing ovation on public transport, mainly because I can’t find a seat.
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus to work? Because it heard it was a great way to get ahead in the field!
• I tried to take a nap on the bus, but every time I closed my eyes, the driver would hit a speed bump and I’d wake up with whiplash.
• I tried to make small talk with a stranger on the bus, but they must have been on mute mode.
• The best part about public transport is being able to enjoy the aromatic symphony of different people’s lunches.
• I accidentally got on a bus going in the wrong direction. The driver said, “Don’t worry, I make that mistake every day.”
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? He couldn’t keep his hands off the steering wheel, it was a driving offense.
• Riding the subway during rush hour feels like being a sardine in a can, except the can occasionally stops abruptly and makes you fall over.
• I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of going in circles, but he just went silent.
• Public transport is like a box of chocolates, you never know if you’re going to get a seat or have to stand!
• I saw a pigeon wearing a bus conductor uniform. It was just trying to make some extra cluck.
• Public transport is a great way to meet new people and silently judge their choice of deodorant.
• Why did the pigeon ride the subway? To avoid the traffic at bird intersections!
• I asked the bus driver if he could take me to the gym. He said, “Sure, just hop on the treadmill!”
• I’m convinced public transport was invented by someone who really hated personal space.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• I told my friend that I prefer taking public transport, and he replied, “Oh, you mean the communal mobile sauna?”
• Why did the bicycle go to school on the bus? Because it was two-tired!
• I once tried to give a high-five to a stranger on the subway, but they just thought I was trying to steal their wallet.
• Why did the bus driver get a ticket? He couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, he was always checking out the bus stops!
• I just found out that public transportation is like a gym membership; you pay for it every month but never actually use it.
• I got a job as a bus driver because I didn’t want to sit in traffic, so now I just drive in it all day.
• I once fell asleep on a bus and missed my stop. When I woke up, the bus was parked in the depot, and the driver said, “End of the line, buddy!” I guess I took “bus stop” too literally.
• Why did the bicycle go to therapy? It was tired of being pedaled around by everyone!
• I wish there was a Tinder for public transportation, so I could swipe left on the guy who insists on manspreading and taking up two seats.
• What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff? A good start!
• Why did the music conductor take the train? Because he wanted to conduct himself in a professional manner!
• What did the grape say while riding the bus? “I’ve got you in a vine mess!”
• I once fell asleep on the train and missed my stop, but luckily, the conductor woke me up at the end of the line. Guess he was just trying to make a “stop”ression on me.
• I asked the bus driver if he knew any good jokes. He said, “No, but I can definitely drive you to one.”
• I once saw a sign on a bus that said “No food or drinks allowed.” So, I finished my sandwich and got on anyway.
• I tried to catch the bus, but it drove right past me. I guess it just didn’t see me… I must be transparent!
• I told the taxi driver that I wanted to go to the nearest airport. He replied, “Sure, but I’ll have to charge you for the whole flight.” At least he had a sense of humor!
• What do you call a group of musicians that travel by bus? A band on the run.
• I told the bus driver I needed a ticket to paradise, and he said, “Sorry, this is the express to the supermarket.”
• My favorite part of riding the bus is pretending I’m in a music video when the wind blows my hair in slow motion.
• I once asked a taxi driver if he could take me to the moon. He replied, “Sure, but the fare would be astronomical!”
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• I once fell asleep on the train and woke up to find my head resting on a stranger’s shoulder. It was a truly intimate moment… for them.
• I tried to make small talk with the person next to me on the train, but they just put their headphones on and pretended to be asleep. Guess I’ll stick to talking to myself.
• I was on the train this morning and a man started loudly singing “Dancing Queen.” Everyone joined in, it was a locomotion.
• I asked the bus driver if he knew the way to the zoo, he said, “No, but I can take you as far as the bus goes.”
• I saw a bumper sticker on a bus that said, “Honk if you love public transport,” so I did, and the bus driver gave me a confused look.
• I love taking public transport, it’s like a never-ending game of “Guess Who Smells Bad Today?”
• I accidentally took the wrong train and ended up in a parallel universe, but at least the public transport was on time.
• I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of driving the same route every day. He replied, “It’s just a bus-iness as usual.”
• I used to hate public transport, but then I took a bus and now I’m just indifferent.
• Why did the scarecrow take public transportation? Because he needed to catch the hay-train!
• I once tried to start a sing-along on the subway, but it turns out people prefer silence over my rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody”
• I saw a sign on the bus that said “No standing.” So, I sat down on the floor instead.
• My train ride was so crowded, I had to resort to breathing in through my mouth and out through my nose to save space.
• I told my friend I was taking public transport to work and they said, “Isn’t that just an organized way to be late?”
• I’m convinced the person who designed bus seats was secretly in the chiropractic business.
• I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of people complaining about the delays. He replied, “No, I just take it in stride.”
• Why did the scarecrow ride the bus? Because he heard it was filled with straw-berries!
• I don’t understand why people complain about standing on a crowded bus, it’s just a mobile version of standing in an elevator.
• I told the bus driver I needed to get to the gym, so he dropped me off at the donut shop.
• I saw a pigeon taking the train the other day. I guess even birds need a break from flying sometimes.
• I realized I take public transportation way too often when I started recognizing the rats at the subway station on a first-name basis.
• I asked the bus driver if I could get a ticket to my destination, he said, “Sure, just take a seat and enjoy the scenic route to nowhere.”
• Public transport is like a game of musical chairs, except the music never stops and there are never enough chairs.
• Why did the bus driver bring a ladder on board? In case they needed to ‘reach’ the next stop!
• I always feel like a celebrity on the subway when everyone around me starts staring at their reflections in the windows.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that bus driver who managed to parallel park on the first try.
• I asked the bus driver if he could take me to the gym. He told me the bus didn’t have the strength to lift weights.
• I tried to take the subway during rush hour once. It was like participating in a giant game of human Tetris, except I was losing.
• I saw a guy carrying a surfboard on the subway. I guess he wanted to catch the next wave of passengers.
• I once asked a bus driver if he knew where I could find the nearest bus stop. He replied, “Don’t you think I would have stopped there if I did?”
• I asked the subway attendant if they had any complaints about their job. They replied, “No, we’re always on track!”
• What did one subway say to the other? “I think we need to take some space. This tunnel is getting too crowded.”
• What do you call a snowman taking the bus? A puddle!
• I fell asleep on the bus and woke up to find everyone had taken off their shoes. Turns out, it was just a sole train.
• I saw a man on the bus today with four dogs, so I asked him if he was a dog trainer. He replied, “No, I’m just trying to catch the bus.”
• I accidentally got on the wrong bus today, but it was an express route to Confusionville.
• I saw a pigeon wearing a tiny conductor hat on the subway. I guess he was the “bird-geon” in charge of public transit.
• Taking public transport is like a box of chocolates, you never know who you’re going to sit next to… or what they’re going to smell like.
• My train of thought derailed long ago.
• Why don’t public buses ever get lonely? They always have a full load.
• I asked the bus driver if he ever tried stand-up comedy, but he just kept driving straight ahead.
• I told the conductor that I lost my ticket. He asked, “Well, how did you find your way onto the train then?”
• I tried to catch the train, but it was always one step ahead – it’s become my personal running joke.
• I’ve finally found a way to make public transport more exciting – play “Guess the Mystery Smell” with my fellow passengers.
• I accidentally got on the wrong bus and ended up on a magical mystery tour of my own neighborhood.
• I used to hate taking the bus, but then I realized it’s a great way to practice my standing meditation.
• Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? Because he heard he should step up his game.
• The most exercise I get in a day is sprinting to catch the bus that I’m already late for.
• Why did the bicycle refuse to use the subway? It didn’t want to get tired of going underground.
• I saw a sign that said “Bus Stop,” so I stopped and said, “Okay, what’s your name?”
• I realized I spend more time waiting for public transport than actually using it. Maybe I should just take up meditation instead.
• I tried to make small talk with the person next to me on the train, but they were clearly on a non-engaging service.
• I don’t trust stairs on public transport. They’re always up to something.
• I asked the bus driver if he could drop me off at the gym. He replied, “Sure, but you’ll have to do the heavy lifting yourself.”
• I saw a sign on the bus that said, “No food or drinks allowed.” So I poured my coffee into a martini glass and acted fancy.
• I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of driving in circles. He replied, “I don’t mind, it keeps me on track.”
• I tried to give up public transportation, but I just couldn’t find an alternative that made as many stops as I do.
• What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
• The bus driver told me I needed to “move to the back of the bus,” so I went and sat next to the engine.
• I told the subway conductor that I wanted to go on an adventure. He said, “Well, you’re in luck. This train is never on time!”
• I told the taxi driver I wanted to go to the moon, and he said it would cost me an astronomical fare.
• The subway during rush hour is like a human Tetris game, except instead of fitting blocks together, we’re all just trying not to touch each other.
• I love how public transport makes me feel like I’m in a sardine can, except the sardines are grumpy commuters.
• I asked the bus driver if this bus goes to my destination, and he replied, “No, it goes beep beep.” I guess I’ll have to find another mode of transport.
• Why was the bus so hot? Because all the passengers were sweating with excitement, knowing they were going to their destination in style!
• Why did the bicycle go to therapy? It had issues with commitment to public transport.
• I asked the bus driver if he had any spare change. He gave me a funny look and said, “Sorry, I’m just a driver, not a bank!”
• Why did the math book take the bus? Because it wanted to solve some problems on the go!
• I was so excited to take the train this morning that I accidentally brought my cat instead of my backpack. At least she was a good conversation starter.
• What did the bus say to the car? “I’ve got the drive to succeed!”
• Why did the bicycle refuse to get on the train? It didn’t want to be a two-tired commuter!
• I asked the bus driver if he ever took his work home with him. He replied, “Only if I miss my stop.”
• I asked the bus driver if he could turn up the heat, he replied, “Sorry, I’m not that hot.”
• I tried to make a reservation on the train, but they said it was all booked. I guess I’ll have to track another route.
• I told the taxi driver to take me somewhere I’ve never been, so he dropped me off at the gym.
• I finally got a job as a bus driver, but I couldn’t find the bus. Turns out, it was just a transit-ion period.
• I don’t trust public transport. I once saw a bus driver texting while driving, and I thought, “Wow, they really love their passengers so much they can’t even put their phone down for a second.”
• Why did the pigeon refuse to ride the subway? It didn’t want to deal with all the ‘underground’ drama!
• I accidentally fell asleep on the bus and woke up to find myself at the final stop – apparently, my snoring scared everyone off.
• I tried to get on the bus with a broken clock, but the driver said, “Sorry, we don’t have time for that.”
• Every time I take the train, I feel like I’m in a sardine can, just without the oil and seasoning.
• I love riding the subway, it’s like participating in a real-life game of “Guess Who Smells the Worst?”
• I asked the train conductor if I could bring my pet snake onboard. He said, “Sure, as long as it doesn’t try to slither out of paying the fare.”
• Why did the train conductor get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field… of transportation!
• I accidentally stepped on a snail while waiting for the bus and now it’s moving faster than the public transport system.
• I asked the bus driver if he ever takes passengers for a ride, he replied, “Only on my bus, ma’am.”
• I asked the train conductor if he had any jokes, and he replied, “No, I just punch lines.”
• I tried to catch a taxi, but the driver said he was just taking a brake.
• What did one traffic light say to the other? Don’t look now, but I think that bus just picked us up.
• They say public transport is a great place to meet new people, but I’ve only met my own reflection in the window so far.
• I finally figured out why the bus driver always looks so grumpy – it’s because he’s been driving everyone crazy all day.
• I asked the bus driver if he could take me to the train station. He said, “Sorry, I can’t. My bus doesn’t have GPS.”
• I love riding the bus because it’s the only place where it’s socially acceptable to talk to strangers about the weather for an hour.
• Why did the chicken never ride the subway? Because it was afraid of fowl play!
• I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of driving the same route every day. He said, “Nah, it’s always a different group of people to ignore.”
• I’m convinced that the person who invented the escalator had a love-hate relationship with public transport.
• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the bus coming and got embarrassed for being late again.
• I saw a sign on the bus that said, “Wheelchair priority,” I guess that means all other passengers are just “tire”d priority.
• What’s the best way to communicate with a train? Through the railway station-ary!
• The best part about taking public transportation is when someone sneezes and the whole train turns into a game of “Who can hold their breath the longest?”
• I accidentally left my headphones on the bus and now someone out there is enjoying my music for free. You’re welcome, stranger.
• Why did the taxi driver get a promotion? Because he always knew the best routes to success!
• I asked the bus driver if he knew the way to the gym. He said, “Sorry, I’m not in my route-in shape.”
• I tried to make small talk with a stranger on the bus, but all I got in return was a bigger talk about how much they hated public transport.
• I accidentally got on the wrong bus today. The driver didn’t seem to mind, so I just went with the flow…for 3 hours.
• I once tried to high-five the automated ticket machine at the train station. It didn’t respond. Guess it wasn’t feeling very touch-sensitive.
• Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems and not enough public transport solutions.
• I asked the train conductor if this was the express train. He replied, “No, this is the train that expresses my deep regrets for being late.”
• I tried to catch a bus once, but it drove right past me. I guess I wasn’t fast enough to catch its attention.
• I asked the bus driver if he had any recommendations for places to visit. He said, “Well, I’m not a tour guide, but my route does have some nice views!”
• Why did the bus break up with the train? It couldn’t handle the constant whistling and getting taken for a ride!
• I thought I was being clever by bringing a book to read on the train, but it turns out people watching is way more entertaining.
• I always lose track of time on public transport. That’s why I prefer the train, so I have a better chance of catching it.
• Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, he was too busy steering at women!
• What’s a vampire’s favorite way to travel? On the bloodline!
• I wish there was a public transport system just for introverts, where the seats faced away from each other and conversation was strictly prohibited.
• I love taking public transport in the morning. It’s a great way to bond with strangers over our collective misery.
• Why was the bus so bad at driving? Because it couldn’t steer straight!
• I overheard two people arguing on the bus about who had the worst commute. I chimed in and said, “Well, I’ve been here the whole time.”
• I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of people ringing the bell too early. He replied, “No, I just pull over and let them walk the rest of the way.”
• I used to hate public transport, but then I realized it’s just a bus-iness opportunity for people-watching.
• Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because he took his passengers to new heights!
• I tried to catch the train, but it kept running away from me. Turns out, it was on a track and I wasn’t.
• I saw a sign on a bus that said, “No eating or drinking allowed.” So, I decided to finish my meal before getting on… I didn’t want to break the rules!
• Why did the bus driver get a sunburn? Because he only had one stop!
• I was on a crowded bus when a man shouted, “Can everyone please move to the back? We need to make room for the invisible passenger!” I moved to the back, just in case.
• I thought I was on the wrong bus, but then I realized it was just a taxi with commitment issues.
• I once got on the wrong bus and ended up at a cat convention. Turns out it was a feline express.
• Why did the passenger bring a ladder on the train? To reach the high notes in the overhead compartment!
• I asked the bus driver if he enjoyed his job. He replied, “It has its ups and downs.” I guess he meant the hills on the route.
• I always know when I’ve missed my bus because I see it pass by just as I’m running towards the stop, waving my arms like a maniac.
• The best part about public transport is when you finally find a seat and then realize it’s covered in gum.
• I’ve realized that public transport is like a box of chocolates. You never know what kind of smell you’re going to get.
• The awkward moment when you make eye contact with someone on the bus and you both pretend to be really interested in the ads above their head.
• I saw a sign on the bus that said, “No eating or drinking allowed.” I guess they never met my kid.
• I saw a sign on the bus that said, “No food or drinks allowed.” So, I finished my burger and took my coffee to go.
• Why did the train break up with its partner? It couldn’t keep track of their relationship.
• If you want to test your patience, try counting the number of people who try to squeeze into an already packed train carriage.
• I accidentally got on the wrong train, but luckily it was going the wrong way too.
• I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of people asking him for directions, he replied, “No, I just tell them to take a left at the next roundabout.”
• Why don’t skeletons ride buses? They have no-body to go with.
• What do you call a bus driver who accidentally drove off a cliff? A brake failure.
• Why did the bus driver get a speeding ticket? Because he took a detour through the Formula 1 racetrack.
• I tried to catch a bus today, but it kept giving me the runaround.
• I rode a crowded bus today. It was so packed, I didn’t need to hold onto anything. I just became part of the human Tetris game.
• What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King mackerel.
• I saw a sign on the subway that said, “Dogs must be carried on the escalator.” I thought, “How did they train them to do that?”
• I thought I found my soulmate on the train, but it turned out we were just going in the same direction.
• I asked the bus driver if he ever takes bribes, he replied, “No, but I gladly accept tips.” I gave him a pen and said, “Now you have both.”
• I asked a fellow passenger if they had any spare change for the bus fare. They handed me a Monopoly get out of jail free card.
• I saw a ghost on the bus, but it turned out to be a transparent!
• Why did the bus driver get lost? Because they didn’t know the way around the traffic circles!
• I took a trip on a crowded train, and it was so packed that I had to exchange personal space for personal training.
• I asked the train conductor if he had any spare tickets. He said, “No, but I can give you a one-way ticket to your seat!”
• I tried to impress a cute person on the subway by reading a book upside down, but they just thought I was illiterate.
• I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the bus, but she declined, saying she’d prefer to continue practicing her balancing skills.

 

Public Transport Dad Jokes

Public Transport Dad Jokes are a unique combination of comedy and clever wordplay that can simultaneously bring about fits of laughter and groans of despair.

These jokes are the type that are so cringe-worthy, they become hilariously entertaining.

These jokes are ideal for trips, family get-togethers, or simply to brighten someone’s day during a humdrum commute.

Prepare yourself for the onslaught of chuckles.

Here are some public transport dad jokes that are bound to get you on board with their humor:

• Why did the train always carry a map? Because it wanted to stay on track.
• Why don’t buses ever gossip? Because they prefer to keep their passengers “bus-y”!
• Why did the commuter train start going to therapy? Because it had too many locomotives!
• What did the bus say to the passenger who kept sneezing? “Please cover your bus stops!”
• Why did the traffic light blush? Because it saw the Metro flashing!
• Why don’t dogs use public transport? Because they prefer to fetch a ride with their owners.
• Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t find the right lane to steer in!
• What did the bus driver say to the grumpy passenger? “You need to get a-bus yourself!”
• Why did the taxi driver become a professional singer? He had great “fare” control!
• Why did the bus driver become an artist? Because he wanted to draw attention to himself!
• Why did the ghost take the tram? Because it didn’t want to walk through walls!
• Why did the train go to the airport? To catch a flight!
• Why did the train go to the spa? It needed some tracks-therapy!
• Why did the train conductor become a chef? Because they heard cooking was a great way to “stir up” a career!
• Why did the bus driver invite the octopus onto the bus? Because it had many tentacles to hold onto the handrails!
• Why do trains make great comedians? Because they always have the “tracks” to a good joke!
• Why do buses make great friends? Because they always stop to pick you up.
• Why are train stations always so busy? Because trains can’t go on vacation!
• Why did the bus driver start a blog? Because he had a lot of traffic!
• Why do trains make for great storytellers? Because they have lots of tracks to keep you on!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because he wanted to catch a ride with his hay-ther!
• Why did the math teacher take the subway to work? Because it was an exponent-ial ride!
• Why did the pencil take the subway? Because it wanted to draw attention!
• Why did the taxi driver start a garden? Because he wanted to grow fare-ewells!
• Why did the train go to the doctor? It was feeling a little locomotive!
• Why did the banana never board the train? It didn’t want to split!
• Why did the taxi driver get a good grade in geography? Because he has a great sense of direction!
• Why did the bicycle fall over at the train station? It had lost its balance!
• Why do birds make great bus drivers? Because they always know how to wing it!
• Why did the train sit on the computer? It wanted to have a website!
• Why did the math book take the bus? Because it had too many problems to solve and needed some time to sit and think.
• Why did the commuter bring a ladder onto the train? Because he heard the fare was going up!
• Why did the bus stop become friends with the tree? Because they both had lots of branches!
• Why are trains like athletes? They always make tracks!
• Why did the subway train visit the bakery? Because it kneaded some fresh tracks!
• Why did the bus driver become an artist? Because he loved drawing all the bus stops!
• Why do ghosts like to ride buses? They can go through the “t-ransit”
• Why did the subway always win at poker? Because it knew how to read the tells on the tracks!
• Why did the train conductor bring a ladder to work? Because he heard it was a high-stress job!
• Why did the passenger sit on the roof of the bus? Because he wanted a top-notch view!
• What’s a train’s favorite type of music? Track and roll!
• Why did the skeleton take the subway? Because it had no body to drive a car!
• Why did the train get a ticket? Because it was caught “locomotion”!
• Why did the traffic light break up with the subway? It said it couldn’t handle the constant stops and go’s anymore!
• Why was the bus cold? Because it left its heater behind!
• Why did the train conductor become a chef? He loved working with all the stew-dents!
• Why did the train go to the gym? Because it wanted to get engine-ered!
• Why did the bus driver bring a spoon to work? In case they had to eat and run!
• Why did the skeleton take the subway instead of the bus? It wanted to feel underground!
• Why did the tomato turn red when it got on the train? Because it saw the salad dressing!
• Why did the bus driver invite everyone to a party? Because he wanted to have a fare-well celebration!
• What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train!
• Why did the scarecrow take the subway? Because it heard that people were dying to get on!
• Why did the passenger bring a ladder onto the bus? To reach the high notes of the song playing!
• Why don’t buses make good musicians? They only know how to make stops!
• Why did the bus driver start a band? Because he had the perfect pitch for parallel parking!
• Why did the bus break up with its partner? Because it had too many stops on the side!
• Why do buses make great comedians? Because they always have people in stitches!
• Why do trains make excellent musicians? Because they have great tracks to play on!
• Why did the train conductor become a chef? Because he loved to whisk passengers away!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transport? Because he needed a little straw-berry!
• What’s a train’s favorite song? “Loco-motive” by The Rolling Coasters!
• Why was the train so good at gardening? It had a green thumb on the tracks!
• Why did the train conductor become a magician? Because he had a lot of tricks up his sleeve!
• Why did the bus get a ticket to go to the museum? Because it wanted to see the art-transit exhibit!
• Why did the public transport system get a promotion? Because it always stayed on track!
• Why did the bus driver become a stand-up comedian? Because he wanted to take his show on the road!
• Why do buses never get lonely? Because they always make stops!
• Why are trains so good at telling jokes? Because they have a great sense of track-tion.
• Why was the math book sad when riding the subway? Because it had too many problems to solve!
• What’s a bus driver’s favorite game? Name that traffic jam!
• Why was the subway always sad? Because it had too many tracks of emotion.
• Why did the scarecrow take public transport? Because it heard the bus was full of straw-berries!
• Why did the bus driver start bringing a ladder to work? Because he heard the fare was going up!
• Why did the train bring a ladder to the station? It heard the fares were going up!
• Why do buses make great musicians? Because they have their own horns!
• What do you call a sheep that travels on public transport? A baaa-ssenger!
• Why did the bicycle fall asleep on the bus? Because it was tired of pedaling!
• Why did the math book take the train to school? Because it had too many problems to solve!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transportation? Because he didn’t have the brains to drive a car.
• Why did the train conductor go to art school? Because he had a lot of tracks to draw!
• Why don’t buses like to work out? Because they already have “mass transit”!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transportation? Because it was outstanding in its field!
• What’s a car’s favorite type of public transport? A “van”tastic bus ride!
• Why don’t vampires like buses? They can’t handle the stake-out.
• Why did the bus get a bad report card? Because it had too many stops!
• Why did the train conductor become a comedian? Because he loved making tracks with his jokes!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transport? Because it wanted to catch the “hay” train!
• Why do buses never go on a diet? Because they always have too many ‘carbs’ on board!
• Why was the bus driver grumpy? Because he had too many passengers to deal with!
• Why do buses make terrible musicians? Because they only know how to carry a tune!
• Why do buses never go to the gym? They already have too many stops!
• Why do buses make great storytellers? Because they always have a good “bus” to tell!
• What did the bus conductor say to the passenger who couldn’t find a seat? Don’t worry, we’ll stand by you!
• Why did the bus stop blushing? Because it saw the traffic light turn green!
• Why don’t skeletons ever take public transport? Because they’ve got nobody to go with.
• What do you call a train that’s gone to sleep? A loco-motionless train!
• Why do buses never tell secrets? Because they always have too many passengers!
• What do you call a bus that can drive underwater? A “sub-urban”!
• Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the bus? Because it saw the traffic jam!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transport? Because it heard it was a great way to get a little straw-berry!
• Why do buses never let ghosts ride? Because they can’t handle the spirits!
• Why don’t public transport vehicles get lonely? They always make new friends at every stop!
• Why did the bus driver get into gardening? Because he wanted to grow his own fare!
• Why don’t cars like to travel on trains? Because they always feel railroaded!
• Why did the taxi driver become a therapist? Because he wanted to give people a fare-ly good time!
• Why did the subway get all dressed up? It wanted to be a train in tuxedo!
• Why don’t bicycles ever pick a fight? Because they prefer to let their tires do the talking!
• Why did the commuter always carry a map on public transport? In case they needed to navigate their way through the conversation!
• Why do buses make great comedians? Because they always have a lot of good transportation jokes up their sleeve!
• Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field…of transportation!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because he needed a ride to the cornfield!
• Why don’t skeletons ever take public transport? Because they don’t have the guts to!
• Why don’t bicycles stand up on their own? Because they are two-tired!
• Why do buses make good comedians? Because they have a lot of punch lines!
• Why did the bus driver feel blue? Because he couldn’t find a reason to be double-decker happy!
• Why do trains make great magicians? Because they always disappear on schedule!
• Why are buses always so tired? Because they work on a “driven” schedule.
• Why did the train conductor quit his job? He couldn’t conduct himself properly.

 

Public Transport Jokes for Kids

Public Transport Jokes for Kids are the fun pit stops of the joke world—surprising, amusing, and always a favorite among the young adventurers.

These jokes encourage kids to engage with the world around them, and find humor in everyday situations like a bus ride to school or a subway trip to the museum, enhancing their observational skills.

Moreover, Public Transport Jokes for Kids have the added perk of making travel fun and interesting, transforming that regular bus or train ride into a journey filled with giggles.

Ready to embark on a laughter-filled trip?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling in the transit:

• Why did the train always carry an umbrella? For when it rained tracks and poured rails!
• Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it saw the bus coming and wanted to stop and say hello!
• Why did the subway take a nap? Because it needed some “train”quil rest!
• You’re two-tired!
• What do you call a bus that tells jokes? A pun-lic transportation!
• Why do bicycles like to ride on trains? Because they get to go on a “rail”road trip!
• Why was the bus so good at playing soccer? Because it had great “bus” control!
• What did one train say to the other train? “You’re right on track!”
• Why did the train always carry a clock? Because it liked to keep track of all the commuters’ time!
• Why did the subway train go to school? Because it wanted to get educated on all the tracks in town!
• Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t keep his “hands on the wheel” of the steering wheel!
• Why did the train go to school? To get an engine-education!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transportation? Because it didn’t have any brains of its own.
• Why did the bicycle fall asleep? It was two-tired to go any further!
• It had too many problems!
• Why did the boat become a comedian? Because it loved making waves of laughter!
• Why did the bus driver bring a ladder? To reach the top of the double-decker!
• What kind of car does a sheep drive? A Lamb-baaa-ghini!
• Why did the banana go to the train station? Because it wanted to split!
• Why do buses never get invited to parties? Because they always bring too many passengers.
• Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it saw the car coming!
• Why don’t cars ever go to school? Because they always get schooled on the road!
• Why did the bus driver wear a hat? Because he wanted to “cap” off his uniform!
• Loco-motives!
• What do you call a car with a big appetite? A “motor”-nivore!
• Why did the taxi driver get a ticket? Because he had a lead foot!
• Why did the taxi driver get a degree? Because he wanted to make some “fare” decisions!
• Why don’t bicycles stand up for themselves? They’re two-tired!
• Why did the car bring a map on the train? It wanted to track its journey!
• Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t stop talking about his engine-ious ideas!
• Why did the train become a DJ? Because it had tracks that everyone wanted to dance to.
• Why did the school bus start working out? It wanted to get fit and stop being a little bus-ty!
• What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of music? Heavy traffic.
• To get a little engine-education!
• Why did the bicycle go to the library? Because it was two-tired of being ridden.
• What did the car say to the bicycle? “Move over! You’re driving me crazy!”.
• A woolly commuter!
• Why don’t cars like public transport? Because they don’t want to share the road with other vehicles.
• Why did the train sit down at the movie theater? It wanted to see a locom-otion picture!
• Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to reach new “heights” in his career!
• Why did the bus driver feel sad? Because everyone kept picking on him.
• What did the traffic jam say to the impatient child? You’re driving me crazy!
• Why did the bus driver go to school? To improve his driving skills.
• What do you call a bus driver with a cold? A “coach” potato!
• What do you call a bus that can perform magic tricks? A double-decker conjurer!
• Why did the taxi driver keep a toothbrush in his cab? For those extra traffic jam brushes!
• What do you get when you cross a bike and a boat? A pedal-powered ferry!
• What do you call a bus driver who doesn’t wear shoes? A sock-cessful driver.
• Why did the car take a train to work? It didn’t like to get stuck in traffic.
• A funny bus-ta!
• What did one subway say to the other? We make a great pair of tracks!
• Why did the car bring a raincoat? Because it heard it was going to take a bus-ted route!
• Why did the bicycle fall over when the bus drove by? Because it was two-tired!
• What’s a bus’s favorite type of exercise? Running routes.
• Why did the train sit down? It was feeling a little locomotion sickness!
• Why did the train go to the music concert? Because it had a good track record!
• What do you call a group of musical buses? A symphony!
• Why did the taxi driver get a speeding ticket? Because he took a wrong turn.
• Why did the train sit down at the concert? It wanted to support the band!
• Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it was embarrassed to see the train cross.
• What do you call a dinosaur who takes the train to school? A diplodocus commuter-us!
• Why did the bicycle never lose a race? Because it always knew how to pedal to the metal.
• What’s a bus’s favorite song? “The Wheels on the Bus” of course!
• Why did the taxi driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t stop talking to his customers!
• Why did the train always carry a map? So it wouldn’t get lost on the tracks.
• What is a bus driver’s favorite kind of music? Brake-dancing!
• Why did the school bus get good grades? Because it always went over the “pass”!
• Why did the bus driver go to the doctor? He was feeling a bit run down.
• What do you call a train that eats too much? A choo-choo chewer!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard the train was too corny.
• What do you call a bus with a lot of dogs? A pup-lic transport.
• What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop-tomobiles.
• Why did the taxi driver get in trouble with the police? Because he was always going over the meter.
• What do you get when you cross a train and a bee? A choo-choo train!
• What do you call a bear riding the bus? A fur-st-time passenger!
• Why did the train take a nap? It was tired from running on tracks all day!
• Why did the bus driver bring a broom? Because he wanted to sweep all the passengers off their feet!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard all the birds love public transportation!
• Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of being a public transport!
• Why did the tram become an actor? Because it loved getting on the stage(c)oach!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard that people were saying it needed some transportation!
• Why did the taxi driver keep losing races? Because he couldn’t find the finish line!
• What do you call a pig that knows karate on the subway? Pork chop!
• Don’t look, I’m changing!
• What do you call a bus that can’t stop telling jokes? A laugh-trolley.
• What’s a bus driver’s favorite meal? Traffic jam-balaya!
• Why did the taxi driver wear a seatbelt? Because he wanted to buckle up for safety!
• Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, they kept running away!
• Why did the train sit on the floor? Because it wanted to be a “ground” transportation!
• Why did the train sit down at the concert? It had a train of thought!
• Why did the bus driver go to the dentist? Because he wanted to catch a little plaque.
• What kind of music do trains like? Engine-earing music!
• Why did the taxi driver always have spare tires? In case he got “tired” of driving!
• Why did the bus driver stand on top of his bus? To get a promotion! He wanted to move up in the company!
• Why did the subway station get a promotion? Because it was always on track!
• Why did the bus stop suddenly? Because it saw the traffic light change from green to red!
• Why did the train go to school? Because it wanted to get on the right track!
• Why did the subway get a bad grade in school? It couldn’t keep track of all the stations.
• Because they always have lots of passengers!
• What’s a bus’s favorite dessert? Traffic cone ice cream!
• What did the bus say to the backpack? Hop on, we’re going on an adventure!
• Why did the airplane bring a map? Because it didn’t want to get “plane” lost!
• Why did the bus go to space? To visit the “planet”arium!
• Why did the taxi driver get a good grade in school? Because he knew all the streets!
• What do you call a train with a cold? The Sniffle Express!
• It’s always chugging along with a smile!
• Why did the skateboard apologize to the train? Because it was “board” of being rude!
• Why did the subway go to the doctor? It had a bad case of “loco”motion!
• Why did the bus go to the doctor? Because it had lost its voice!
• Why do buses never go to school? They’re afraid of getting stuck in a jam!
• Why did the train sit on its suitcase? Because it wanted to travel light!
• Why do buses always arrive late to the party? Because they like to make a grand entrance!
• What did one subway car say to the other? I’m feeling a little underground today.
• Why did the bus driver open a bakery? Because he wanted to make “roll-ing” dough!
• Why do trains make great musicians? Because they have perfect “track”tion!
• Why did the passenger bring a ladder onto the bus? Because they heard it was going to be a double-decker!
• Why did the train go to school? To get a little engineer-ing education!
• What do you call a bus full of dogs? A howl-er coaster.
• Why did the car go to the music concert? It wanted to jam with the traffic jam!
• What did one train say to the other train? “I’m chugging along nicely, thanks!”
• On the buzz!
• Why did the bus driver take a vacation? He needed to recharge his “driver” battery!
• What’s a bus driver’s favorite kind of music? Hip hop!
• Why did the bus driver break up with the taxi driver? They had too many stops and starts.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman and a bus? Frostbite!
• Why did the car bring a parachute on the train? In case it wanted to make a quick exit.
• What do you call a bus that can swim? A ferry-go-round.
• Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? Because she heard the pay was really high!

 

Public Transport Jokes for Adults

Who said travelling can’t be a laughing matter?

Our public transport jokes for adults bring a touch of levity to the often mundane world of commuting.

These quips are a perfect blend of witty humor, intellectual insight, and just the right dose of maturity.

Just like a well-timed bus, these jokes arrive with an impeccable sense of timing, mixing situational humor with relatable everyday experiences for a journey filled with laughs.

These jokes are the perfect ice-breakers for office parties, social gatherings, or just a hearty chuckle with your fellow commuters.

Here are some public transport jokes that are sure to get adults on the laughing track:

• Why did the train conductor get a divorce? He had too many baggage!
• Why did the taxi driver keep a toothbrush in his car? In case he picked up a fare with bad breath!
• Why did the bus driver get a gold medal? Because he was the best at making stops and picking up passengers!
• Why do public transportation vehicles never get lonely? They always have a full load of passengers!
• Why was the subway train so well-behaved? It had excellent subway-manners!
• Why did the taxi driver always carry a math book? He loved taking fare and square roots!
• Why don’t trains ever get bored? They have a lot of tracks to keep them entertained!
• Why did the train break up with the taxi? It just felt they were on different tracks in life!
• Why was the subway train always so tired? It had too many stops to make!
• Why did the train conductor always carry a ladder? In case he needed to reach the high notes on the ticket!
• Why did the man bring a peacock onto the train? He wanted to make sure he had a “fowl” experience!
• Why did the subway train go to therapy? It had a lot of issues to work through!
• Why did the taxi driver become an artist? He loved drawing traffic!
• Why did the train always arrive on time? It had excellent track record!
• Why did the subway musician get arrested? He was caught for “disturbing the peace”!
• Why did the train become a detective? It wanted to solve the mystery of the missing passengers!
• Why did the subway station get a promotion? It was really good at getting people to step up!
• What do you call it when two buses collide? A public transportation crash course!
• Why did the passenger bring a ladder onto the train? Because they heard the seats were reserved for upper class!
• Why did the passenger feel embarrassed on the bus? They accidentally gave their seat to a mannequin!
• Why don’t public buses ever get invited to parties? They always show up unannounced and take everyone for a ride!
• Why did the bus driver feel like a math teacher? He always had to count his passengers!
• Why did the train conductor get arrested? He was caught locomotion!
• Why did the taxi driver get a medal? He went the extra mile… in reverse!
• What do you call a bus that breaks down all the time? A “stop and go-slow”!
• Why was the bus driver so good at his job? He knew how to steer the conversation in the right direction!
• Why did the bus driver give up on their music career? Their songs never had any rhythm!
• Why did the commuter train get detention? It was always “track”-ing mud on the school premises!
• Why did the commuter bring a ladder onto the subway? He heard the prices were going up, so he wanted to climb over the turnstile!
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? He was caught trafficking people… on his bus!
• What’s the difference between a snowman and a bus? One melts in the sun, the other stops in the shade!
• Why did the bus driver get fired? Because they kept taking “detours” to their favorite coffee shop!
• Why did the passenger get kicked off the train? Because they couldn’t “loco”mote properly!
• Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because he always knew how to steer the conversation!
• Why did the bus driver always carry a calculator? He liked to “multiply” his chances of getting tips!
• Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because he took his job on the road seriously and never missed a turn!
• Why did the bus driver get into stand-up comedy? He heard it was a great way to make people laugh their wheels off!
• Why did the passenger bring a ladder onto the bus? Because they heard it had great step-ting!
• Why do trains make great singers? They always hit the high notes when they go over a track!
• Why did the train conductor become a stand-up comedian? He was tired of dealing with all the delays and wanted to make people laugh on purpose!
• Why did the subway ghost get a ticket? It was caught haunting the tracks after hours!
• Why did the chicken take the train to work? Because it didn’t want to be accused of crossing the road!
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? He was caught stealing everyone’s hearts!
• Why did the bus driver become a stand-up comedian? He had too many passengers and needed to lighten the load with some laughter!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard it was a real “people” mover!
• What do you call a bus that is no longer in service? A has-been!
• Why did the taxi driver refuse to pick up the mathematician? They were afraid they would calculate the fare wrong!
• Why was the bus passenger so good at telling jokes? They had a great sense of commute-dy!
• Why did the train go to the therapist? It had a hard time staying on track emotionally!
• Why did the bus driver never get a speeding ticket? He always had the fare to pay off the traffic cops!
• Why did the bus driver go to the therapist? He was feeling a bit lost on his route!
• Why did the train break up with its significant other? They had too many baggage!
• What do you call it when a bunch of clowns get on a bus? A “funny bus”!
• Why did the subway passenger bring a ladder on board? Because they wanted to reach the high notes during the rush hour!
• Why did the subway station become an art gallery? Because it wanted to display some train-sit artwork!
• Why did the bus driver get in trouble at the police station? He was caught speeding… with a bus!
• What do you call it when someone steals a bus? A “kidnapping”!
• What do you call a public bus that never stops? Outstanding!
• Why did the ghost always ride the subway? Because he loved the eerie atmosphere!
• What did one bus say to the other bus? “I’m tired of being a passenger. I want to be the driver for a change!”
• Why did the subway always win at poker? It knew all the underground tricks!
• Why did the train conductor start a band? He wanted to make tracks and entertain passengers on their journey!
• Why did the taxi driver get a ticket? He was caught going the wrong way on a one-way street, trying to avoid traffic!
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? He was caught speeding… with no passengers on board!
• What do you call a bus full of politicians? A bunch of “commute-nicators”!
• Why did the commuter bring a pillow onto the subway? So they could catch up on some “track”-tion!
• Why did the train conductor always carry a red flag? In case he wanted to stop and wave hello!
• Why don’t public buses ever get lonely? They always have a lot of passengers to pick up!
• Why did the commuter bring a ladder on the bus? Because they heard it was a double-decker and wanted a better view!
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? He couldn’t stop picking up fares.
• Why did the bus driver feel sad? He lost his drive!
• Why did the monorail decide to start a music band? It wanted to be known as the “railroad” rockers!
• Why did the train attend therapy sessions? It had too many “track” issues!
• Why did the commuter bring a pillow on the bus? Because they heard it was a “transit” rest!
• Why did the ghost take the subway? Because it needed a little “boo-st” to get around!
• Why did the bus driver get in trouble? He couldn’t keep his passengers in line, they kept going off the rails!
• Why did the passenger cross the road? To catch a bus on the other side!
• Why did the bus driver take up gardening? He wanted to go from driving through traffic to growing in peace and quiet!
• Why did the bus driver become a chef? He wanted to serve up some delicious routes!
• Why did the old lady bring a ladder onto the bus? She wanted to reach the “high” way!
• Why did the subway break up with its significant other? They just couldn’t stay on the same track!
• Why did the bus driver get arrested? He couldn’t make a complete stop… at the donut shop!
• Why did the tram apologize to the passengers? It made a “wrong turn” and ended up on the roller coaster track!
• Why did the bus driver switch careers and become a baker? He realized he kneaded dough every day!
• Why did the bus driver’s phone go to jail? It was caught texting while driving!
• Why did the train conductor always carry a bag of coins? To pay for his train of thought!
• Why did the train conductor become a chef? He loved serving up tracks-meals!
• What do you call a public transport vehicle that tells jokes? A “pun”-trolley!
• Why did the bus driver go to therapy? Because he had too many breakdowns!
• Why did the train conductor quit his job? He couldn’t keep track anymore!
• Why did the bicycle get a speeding ticket? It couldn’t “brake” the habit of going too fast!
• What do you call a group of cows on public transport? A moo-ving train!
• Why did the bus driver get into a fight? He had a fare to settle!
• Why did the bus driver get kicked out of the zoo? He tried to pick up the kangaroos at every stop!
• Why did the commuter bring a pillow on the train? To catch up on some sleep, since the train never arrives on time!
• Why did the subway station become a popular tourist attraction? It had lots of underground fans!
• What did the bus driver say to the rude passenger? “You better “step back” or I’ll kick you off!”
• Why did the train become a detective? It always had a good track record!
• Why do buses make terrible comedians? Their timing is always off schedule!
• Why did the subway passenger bring a ladder? To reach new heights of annoyance!
• Why did the bus driver bring a broom to work? To sweep up all the passengers’ compliments!
• Why did the taxi driver take up yoga? To make sure he had a “fare” balance between work and relaxation!
• Why did the bus driver start a band? Because he wanted to make some public transportation music!
• Why did the bus driver start a band? Because he wanted to hit all the high notes on the road!
• What do you call a rabbit riding the subway? A hare-railed passenger!
• Why did the passenger take a power nap on the bus? They wanted to recharge their energy before their stop!
• Why did the commuter bring a pillow on the subway? Because they wanted to catch some zzz’s on the express train!
• Why did the subway get a promotion? Because it was always “underground” doing hard work!
• Why do buses never get lonely? They’re always making new friends at every stop!
• Why did the bus driver always carry a map? Because they didn’t want to make any wrong turns, only lefts and rights!
• Why did the bus driver get a ticket? They were caught making too many stops!
• Why did the ghost refuse to take the bus? It didn’t have a fare in the afterlife!
• Why did the bicycle start using public transport? It wanted to pedal the benefits of sharing the road!
• Why don’t public transport vehicles ever get married? Because they prefer to remain single-decker!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it needed a little more straw-dle!
• Why did the commuter bring a pillow on the bus? To catch up on some “zzzz” during the ride!
• Why did the passenger bring a ladder on the bus? Because they heard it was a high-speed service!
• Why did the passenger bring a pillow onto the bus? They wanted to take a quick nap-stop!
• What’s the difference between a bus driver and a cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops all the nose!
• Why did the bus driver never get promoted? They had no drive to climb up the corporate ladder!
• Why did the commuter train always carry a map? It didn’t want to get lost on track!
• Why did the bicycle become friends with the train? Because they both had a strong “chain” of connection!
• Why did the train make a great motivational speaker? It was always on track and never got derailed!
• Why did the commuter bring a ladder on the train? Because they heard the seats were overbooked!
• Why did the bicycle feel left out at the train station? It couldn’t handle all the train tracks!
• Why did the bus driver always carry a dictionary? To look up the meaning of bus-ted!
• Why did the train conductor always carry a pillow? To catch some sleepers on the journey!
• Why did the bus driver win an award? Because he always went the extra mile for his passengers!
• Why did the bus stop attend a yoga class? It wanted to improve its “flex”ibility in dealing with rush hour!
• Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because they always stay on the right track!
• What did the taxi driver say to the aggressive passenger? “If you don’t “meter” expectations, you might get a bumpy ride!”
• Why did the commuter train go to therapy? It had severe attachment issues!
• Why did the train conductor become a stand-up comedian? Because he knew how to deliver some rail-arious jokes!
• Why was the train so popular at parties? It always knew how to break the ice with a good track!
• Why was the bus always late? It couldn’t stop picking up new passengers, it had commitment issues!
• Why was the subway so crowded? It was rush hour and everyone wanted to “train” for the race to get a seat!
• Why did the bus driver carry a red umbrella? In case it started raining passengers!
• What did the traffic light say to the car at the train station? Don’t “signal” your intentions, just “train” yourself to follow the rules!
• Why did the train go to the therapist? It had too many loco-motives!
• Why was the train always running late? It had a bad track record!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it wanted to be outstanding in its field!
• Why do buses never get invited to parties? They always arrive late and then ruin everyone’s mood!
• Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard it was a-corny mode of transportation!
• Why did the tram get a promotion? It always stayed on track and never derailed from its responsibilities!
• Why did the taxi driver become a stand-up comedian? They were tired of being taken for a ride!
• Why do ghosts never take the bus? They prefer to “haunt” the subway!
• Why don’t ghosts use public transportation? They prefer to haunt their own private hearses!
• Why did the subway passenger bring a snorkel? To survive the flood of people during rush hour!
• Why did the taxi driver become a stand-up comedian? Because he always had a “fare”-share of jokes!
• Why did the train conductor always bring a ladder? To reach “new heights” in public transport service!
• What do you call a public transport vehicle full of dogs? A bark and ride!
• Why do trains make such good detectives? They always follow the tracks!
• Why did the scarecrow take public transport? Because he didn’t have the brain for driving!
• Why did the bicycle blush when it got on the train? It had a wheel-y good time!
• Why did the woman bring a pillow on the bus? She wanted to catch up on her sleep while avoiding the bumpy ride!
• What did the passenger say to the taxi driver who drove too fast? “Slow down, I’m not in a “fare-ry”!
• What did one subway tunnel say to the other? We’ll meet in the station!
• Why did the bus driver get kicked off the soccer team? Because he was always a little too coach-ious!
• Why did the taxi driver get into a fight with the GPS? They couldn’t agree on the route they should take!
• Why did the train conductor get a promotion? He was always on the right track!
• Why was the subway such a popular place for musicians? It had a great underground music scene!
• Why did the subway musician quit his job? He wasn’t getting enough underground recognition!
• Why did the bicycle take the bus? It had a flat tire and needed a “spare ride”!
• Why did the bus driver carry a ladder? In case he needed to “climb aboard” the double-decker bus!
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like public transport schedules!
• Why did the bus driver give everyone a pencil? So they could draw conclusions on their journey!
• Why did the train conductor never win the lottery? He always lost track of the numbers!
• Why did the subway conductor become a chef? He wanted to make some underground sandwiches!

 

Public Transport Joke Generator

Navigating the world of public transport humor can sometimes feel like you’re stuck in rush hour traffic.

(You know what I’m talking about, right?)

Enter our FREE Public Transport Joke Generator to keep you on the right track.

Engineered to combine witty puns, relatable humor, and snappy one-liners, it generates jokes that are sure to lighten up your daily commute.

Don’t let your humor be as mundane as a delayed train.

Use our joke generator to brew jokes that are as lively and entertaining as an unexpected subway performer.

 

FAQs About Public Transport Jokes

Why are public transport jokes so popular?

Public transport jokes are a way of humorously expressing shared experiences.

Many people have ridden on buses, trains, taxis, or other forms of public transport, and can relate to the funny situations that can occur during these journeys.

This shared understanding makes the jokes universally appealing.

 

Can public transport jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Public transport jokes are a great way to break the ice or lighten the mood.

Since they are generally relatable, they can spark conversations and laughter amongst diverse groups of people.

 

How can I come up with my own public transport jokes?

1. Start by thinking about your own experiences on public transport. Have there been any funny, odd, or unique situations?
2. Consider the different types of public transport and their characteristics. For example, the rush of the subway, the leisurely pace of a ferry, or the cramped quarters of a city bus.
3. Think about the people you see on public transport. Any interesting characters or funny interactions?
4. Use common phrases associated with public transport and play around with their meanings for a humorous twist.
5. Don’t be afraid to exaggerate situations for comedic effect. Public transport experiences are often ripe for hyperbole!

 

Are there any tips for remembering public transport jokes?

A good way to remember public transport jokes is by associating them with particular journeys or experiences.

Every time you use public transport, you may recall the joke and this will reinforce your memory.

 

How can I make my public transport jokes better?

Try to observe the nuances and peculiarities of public transport.

A good joke often lies in the detail.

Also, playing with words and phrases commonly used in public transport can give your joke an unexpected twist.

Practice sharing your jokes and observe the response to refine your humor.

 

How does the Public Transport Joke Generator work?

Our Public Transport Joke Generator is your quick fix for a good laugh.

Enter keywords related to your experience or situation, then hit Generate Jokes.

In no time, you’ll get a list of hilarious public transport-themed jokes.

 

Is the Public Transport Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Public Transport Joke Generator is absolutely free to use.

Generate endless jokes to keep your conversations lively and entertaining.

So, hop on and start your journey to laughter!

 

Conclusion

Public transport jokes provide a hilarious detour during daily chatter, making life a bit more enjoyable with each hearty laugh.

From the fast and funny to the long and laugh-inducing, there’s a public transport joke for every situation.

So next time you’re hopping onto a bus or boarding a train, remember, there’s humor to be found in every ticket, timetable, and transit ride.

Keep sharing the giggles, and let the good times roll on tracks or tires.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without public transport—unimaginable and, frankly, a bit less adventurous.

Keep the laughter in transit, everyone!

Bus Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy With Laughter

Taxi Jokes That Are Fare Enough to Make You Smile

Subway Jokes to Keep You Entertained During Your Commute

Airport Jokes for Those Long Layovers

Train Jokes That Will Get You On the Right Track