565 Railway Jokes That Will Chug You into Laughter

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to chug along the tracks of railway jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the first class of humor.

That’s why we’ve engineered a list of the most hilarious railway jokes.

From track-splitting puns to locomotive one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every station of life.

So, let’s steam ahead into the vibrant hub of railway humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Railway Jokes

Railway jokes are the perfect way to lighten up the atmosphere when you’re chugging along on a long journey.

They are not just about the train or the rails, but also about the unique experiences that traveling by train can bring.

From the hustle and bustle of overcrowded compartments to the silent serene of a quiet night ride, the railway journey is filled with potential for humor.

Creating the perfect railway joke involves making clever observations, punning on train-related terms, and often, exaggerating the quirks and oddities of railway travel (like the ever-changing timetable or the unexpected delays).

Ready to be steamed with laughter?

All aboard the humor express with these railway jokes:

Why did the train bring a map to the party? Because it didn’t want to get lost on the dance tracks!
Why was the railway so good at telling jokes? It had a great sense of track-tion!
Why don’t trains ever gossip? They just keep track!
Why don’t trains make good detectives? They always get derailed!
Why did the train go on a diet? It had too many tracks of chocolate!
Why did the train become a chef? Because it knew how to cook up tracks!
Why did the train get into a fight? It had too many tracksuits!
Why did the train bring a math book? It wanted to study the train times tables!
What did the train conductor say when asked about his favorite type of music? “I’m a big fan of loco-motown!”
Why did the train become a musician? It had perfect pitch and loved all the tracks!
Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the train? Because it was trying to ketchup!
Why did the train become an actor? It had a great platform presence!
Why did the train bring a ladder to the station? It heard the ticket prices were going up, so it wanted to climb aboard!
Why do trains make good detectives? Because they have loco-motives!
Why do trains never grow old? Because they’re always chugging along!
Why did the train become an artist? Because it had a “rail” talent for painting!
Why did the train go to the music concert? It wanted to catch the beat!
Why did the train sit down to write? It wanted to get some track-cations!
Why was the train’s computer cold? It left its Windows open!
Why do trains make great comedians? They have a lot of good “rail” material!
What did the conductor say to the passenger who lost his ticket? “Don’t worry, it’ll turn up eventually!”
Why did the train become a detective? Because it had a “track” record for solving mysteries!
Why did the train take a nap? Because it was “track”-tose intolerant!
Why did the train bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to make sure it had a high rail time!
Why did the scarecrow become a train conductor? Because he heard it was a great way to “track” his progress!
Why did the railway inspector get a promotion? He was always on track with his work and never derailed from his duties!
Why did the train bring a hot dog to the station? It wanted to ketchup with its passengers!
Why don’t scientists trust trains? Because they have loco motives.
What did the train conductor say when the train lost its power? “Oh no, we’ve been de-railed!”
Why don’t skeletons take the train? They have no-body to go with!
Why did the train sit down at the poker table? Because it had a good track record!
Why do trains always arrive on time? They have “track” records to maintain!
Why did the train conductor carry a ladder? In case he needed to climb the tracks and reach new heights!
Why did the train get in trouble at school? It couldn’t keep its loco-motion under control!
Why did the train always carry a map? It didn’t want to get lost on the rails and end up in a spaghetti junction!
Why do trains hate going to the gym? They don’t want to work out on the tracks!
Why did the train always carry an umbrella? In case it started to rain on its parade!
Why did the train get a good grade in school? It always stayed on track!
Why did the train bring a ladder to the station? Because it heard the tickets were going through the roof!
Why did the railway engineer bring a pencil and paper to bed? Because he wanted to draw some train of thought!
Why was the train so bad at shooting baskets? It had no loco-motive!
Why did the train conductor go to art school? Because he had a lot of tracks to draw!
Why did the train break up with its partner? They had too many derailments in their relationship!
What do you call a train that sings in the shower? A choo-choo train!
What do you call a train that can’t stop singing? A train wreck-a-pella!
Why did the train chef quit his job? He couldn’t make ends meat!
What do you call a train that’s gone off the rails? A train-wreck-ommendation!
Why did the railway attend a yoga class? It wanted to stay “on track” and flexible!
What did the train conductor say to the passenger who complained about the delay? “Don’t worry, we’ll get there on track!”
Why did the train always go to the doctor? It had a lot of track-idents!
Why was the train so bad at hide and seek? Because it always got spotted!
Why was the train so good at making decisions? It always went full steam ahead!
Why did the train get into stand-up comedy? It wanted to give its passengers a good laugh track!
Why did the train break up with its partner? It couldn’t keep a loco-motion!
Why did the railway station become a popular tourist spot? It had an amazing train of events!
Why did the train always get invited to parties? It knew how to choo-choo-se the best ones!
What did the railway employee say when he lost his job? “I guess I just couldn’t make the right track!”
What do you call a train that’s been in an accident? A train-wreck-tion!
What did the conductor say to the passengers? Tickets, please. All aboard the laughter express!
Why don’t trains ever get invited to parties? They have too many tracksuits!
What did the railway say to the train? “You’ve got tracks of my tears!”
Why don’t trains ever get lost? Because they have a good track record!
What’s a train’s favorite kind of music? Track and roll!
Why was the math teacher always happy on the railway? Because he loved working with trains of thought!
Why did the train get a ticket for speeding? It had too much steam under the hood!
Why was the train so good at making friends? It was always “track”-table!
Why did the railway track go to the gym? It wanted to stay in shape and keep on track!
Why don’t trains ever gossip? They just don’t like to locomotive!
Why did the train conductor lose his job? Because he couldn’t “track” his responsibilities!
Why was the train so good at making decisions? Because it always had a track record!
Why did the train go to the baseball game? It heard there was going to be a grand slam on the tracks!
Why did the train eat a ticket? Because it heard it was a choo-choo chew!
Why did the train break up with the car? It couldn’t handle the baggage!
What did the railway say to the train that was running late? “I’ve been “track”ing your progress!”
Why are trains so good at math? Because they know how to multiply tracks.
Why was the train arrested? Because it was caught locomotiving!
Why did the railway conductor become a chef? He wanted to improve his plate-form!
What did the train conductor say to the rude passenger? “I’m rail-ly sorry for your attitude!”
Why was the train tired? It had been working on its chug-a-lug!
Why did the train cross the road? To show the cars how it’s done!
Why did the train sit on the couch all day? It was training for a marathon!
Why do railway tracks make great comedians? Because they always have a good train of thought!
What did the railway say to the caboose? You’re being a little bit too back-end heavy!
What do you call a train that eats too much? An engine with a large appetite!
Why did the railway station get a parking ticket? It had too many loco-motives parked illegally!
Why did the train bring a pillow to the party? Because it wanted to “choo chooze” a comfy seat!
Why did the train become an opera singer? Because it had perfect pitch!

Short Railway Jokes

Short railway jokes are like a swift, scenic train ride—simple, exciting, and filled with unexpected giggles.

These jokes are perfect for adding a pinch of humor to your text messages, social media posts, or for that moment during a gathering when you want to lighten up the atmosphere.

The magic of short railway jokes lies in their ability to deliver chuckles and chortles in a succinct and witty manner, making them the express train to laughter town.

So, all aboard!

Here are some short railway jokes that will take you on a journey of mirth in just a few words.

What do you call a train that’s sleepwalking? A choo-choo trainwreck!
Why did the train visit the dentist? It had train tracks!
What did the train say to the departing passengers? “Choo-choo later!”
Why did the railway hire a musician? They needed someone to conduct!
Why did the train go to space? To find the missing rail-ien!
Why do trains never go to school? They already know their tracks!
What do you call a train carrying a pig? A pork express!
Why don’t trains like playing cards? Because they always get loco-motivated!
Why did the scarecrow become a train conductor? He loved platforming!
What do you call a train that tells jokes? A “pun”-derground train!
Why was the train feeling self-conscious? It had too many baggage!
What’s a train’s favorite subject in school? Choo-chemistry!
Why was the train always on time? It had “track”-tion control!
Why don’t trains like playing cards? Because they have too many tracks!
What do you call a train that can sing? A “chew-choo-choo!”
Why did the train attend therapy? It had some major track anxiety!

Railway Jokes One-Liners

All aboard the humor express with these railway one-liners!

Railway jokes are like the rhythmic clickety-clack of a train on tracks – predictable, yet always holding the allure of a surprise destination.

Crafting these one-liners requires a combination of timing, wit, and a deep understanding of both the railway system and the art of humor.

The challenge is to compactly design the joke’s setup and punchline in one line that derails your audience into fits of laughter.

So, fasten your seatbelts for a fun-filled journey through these railway jokes one-liners:

Why did the train conductor take a nap on the job? He wanted to catch some Zzzzzz!
What do you get if you cross a train and a vampire? Lots of choo-choo trains that only come out at night!
I bought a train ticket, but it didn’t come with any tracks.
Why did the train always carry a pen and paper? Because it liked to jot down notes on the tracks!
What did the train conductor say to the rude passenger? “Tickets or toots!” .
Why did the train bring a ladder to the station? It wanted to train-stend to be a platform!
Why did the train sit down at the poker table? It wanted to show off its poker face!
What did the passenger say to the train conductor? Ticket, please!
Why was the railway track so depressed? It had way too many trains running over it!
I used to work for a railway company, but I couldn’t track my progress.
Why did the railway station always win at poker? It had a great track record!
I saw a train conductor wearing camouflage. I guess he wanted to blend in with the tracks.
I asked the train conductor if I could jump on the moving train. He said, “I’m afraid that’s off-track behavior.”
Why did the train join a gym? It wanted to become “track”-ular!
Why did the train go to the baseball game? It heard someone was stealing bases.
Why did the train conductor get in trouble? He was caught railing against the system.
Why did the railway conductor bring a bag of oregano? Because he wanted to spice up the tracks!
What did the train say to the annoying passenger? “You’re really derailing my mood!”
Why did the train sit on the computer? It wanted to keep track of its progress!
Why did the train sit on the couch all day? It needed some track-tion!
Why do trains make terrible magicians? They always vanish into thin air.
Why don’t trains ever gossip? They know how to keep track of their secrets.
I once tried to catch a runaway train, but I couldn’t keep up with its track record!
Why don’t trains ever go on vacation? Because they can’t afford the ticket fare!
I asked the train conductor if I could ride for free, but he just gave me the ticket to ride.
I asked the train conductor if I could sit in the front, he replied, ‘Sure, just don’t get too steamed up about it!’.
Why did the train bring a parachute on its journey? In case it needed to make a quick rail-stop!
What do you call a train that’s always running late? A procrastination station!
Why did the train become a detective? It loved conducting investigations.
What did the conductor say to the passenger who lost their ticket? “I’m afraid you’ve lost your ticket, but don’t worry, we’ll track it down!”
Why did the train bring a pillow to the railway station? It wanted to catch some “Zzzzz” while waiting!
Why don’t trains make good magicians? Because they always disappear on the tracks!
Why did the train break up with its partner? They had different tracks in life!
Why did the railway station hire a magician? They needed someone to pull trains out of their hats!
Why was the railway track cold? Because all the trains had left!
Why did the train bring a ladder? It heard the railway tracks were high in demand!
I asked the conductor if I could have a window seat, and he told me to try opening a door.
Why did the train get a ticket? It couldn’t afford a full fare!
I heard that trains are like a second home for some people. I guess they really enjoy being track-tivated.
Why was the train upset at the chef? Because it always got steamed instead of roasted!
I told my friend I was writing a book about trains, and he asked me if it was on track.
Why did the railway tracks get a divorce? They had too many crossings.
What did the train say to the engine driver? I’ve got a one-track mind!
Why did the train always win at poker? It had a great poker face and never let any chug-chug-chug-chips slip!
I asked the railway worker if I could help, but he just said “Train your own business!”
Why did the train become a musician? It had great track-record for hitting all the right notes!
Why did the railway worker bring a ladder to work? Because he heard the train needed a little extra track-cercise!
What do you call a railway conductor who is constantly losing things? Train-wreck Holmes!
Why did the train get a ticket? It wasn’t staying on track!
I told my friend I had a fear of trains, he replied, “Don’t worry, it’s just a locomotion!”
What do you get when you cross a train with a vampire? A pain in the neck for the passengers!
I saw a sign at the train station that said, “Please don’t eat on the platform.” I guess they really want to keep it train-spotless.
Why did the train attend therapy sessions? It had serious locomotive-ive issues!
Why did the scarecrow become a train conductor? He heard it was a job where you always had a lot of track-tion.
Why did the train become an artist? It loved creating “stunning” landscapes!
I tried to convince my friend to take the train, but he said it was too much of a loco-motive.
Why was the train afraid of the dark? It wasn’t sure if it could stay on track without any light!
Why did the railway tracks go to therapy? They had a lot of emotional baggage!
What do you call a train that’s always in a hurry? Too-fasty!
Why was the train always calm and relaxed? Because it knew how to stay on the right track!
What did the railway say to the train? Don’t ever stop, you’re always on track!
Why don’t trains ever have a second cup of tea? Because the first one always causes a little tea-rain!
Why was the train always so patient? It knew how to “rail”-ax!
I was on a train once and the guy next to me was reading a book about anti-gravity. I thought to myself, “Well, that’s bound to be uplifting.”
Why did the train conductor carry a ladder? In case he needed to get on board!
I asked the train conductor if the train was running late, he replied, ‘No, it’s just on a different track of time!’.
What’s a train’s favorite type of dance? The locomotion!
I asked the train conductor if he could make my trip any smoother. He replied, “Sure, just bring a cushion for those bumpy tracks!”
What’s a train’s favorite music genre? Loco-motown!
Why did the railway station hire a gardener? Because they wanted to make sure the tracks were well-trained!
I tried to impress a girl by telling her I have a great knowledge of trains. Turns out, she wasn’t impressed. She said it wasn’t a track record worth bragging about.
I tried to make a model train out of cheese, but it was too gouda be true!
Why was the train late to its own party? It had too many rail-yers to get through!
Why don’t trains ever gossip? They prefer to stay on track!
What do you call a train that likes to play hide and seek? The locomotive!
Why did the train conductor bring a spoon and a plate to the railway station? He heard the tracks were delicious!
Why did the train conductor become a stand-up comedian? Because he had a great track record for making people laugh!
Why did the train go to the circus? It heard there were “track”-tions!
What do you call a train that’s always happy? The choo-choo train of joy.
I got on the wrong train once. It was an express ticket to confusion!
Why did the train become an actor? It wanted to be in the locomotion pictures.
Why did the railway station become a hair salon? It wanted to give everyone a “train-cut”!
Why don’t trains tell jokes? They have too many tracks to keep on!
What do you call a train that’s full of butterflies? A chrysalis express!
Why did the train get into a fight with the bicycle? Because it was tired of being railroaded!
What did the train say to the misbehaving passenger? “I choo-choo-choose you to behave!”
I tried to make a joke about trains, but I just couldn’t locomotive it.
Why did the railway station get a penalty? Because it was always off-track!
Why did the train always carry a map? Because it was afraid of getting lost in its own locomotion!
What did the railway conductor say to the noisy passengers? “Please train your voices!”
Why was the train station so noisy? Because it had a lot of loco-motives!
What do you call a train that doesn’t have any manners? Rude-abaga Express!
I tried to catch the train, but it was too fast. I guess you could say it really “railroaded” me!
What do you call a train with a cold? A choo-choo-choo train!
Why did the train become a musician? Because it had perfect timing on the tracks!
Why did the railway station hire a math teacher? To help with the train schedule problems!
Why did the railway station start a bakery? Because it wanted to have all the right tracks!
Why did the train join the circus? It heard they needed a loco-motive!
Why did the train always carry a map? In case it lost its tracks!
What do you call a train that’s always on time? Fictional.
I used to be a railway conductor, but I couldn’t conduct myself properly.
Why did the train get in trouble at school? Because it couldn’t keep track of time!
My friend asked me if trains have a dining car. I said, “No, they prefer to eat at the station’s buffet.”
I bought a ticket for the ghost train, but it turned out to be a transparent rip-off!
Why did the train get a promotion? Because it was always on the right track!
I asked the train if it could be more punctual, it replied, “Sure, I’ll always be right on track!”
I tried to tell a train joke, but it went off the rails and derailed the conversation.
Why did the railroad go to the doctor? It had too many “cross-ties”!
What did one train say to the other train? “I’ve got my eye on you, choo-choo!”
Why did the train make a great detective? Because it always kept track of the clues!
What did the railway engineer say to his partner? “I choo-choose you!”
What’s a train’s favorite dance move? The “choo-choo” shuffle!
Why was the train so good at math? It always knew how to divide and multiply its cars.
Why did the scarecrow ride the train? Because it heard it was an express service!
What’s a train’s favorite type of clothing? Tracksuits!
I never trust trains, they have too many tracks records!
Why did the train get a job at the bakery? Because it kneaded the dough!
I used to be a railway engineer, but I couldn’t track my career.
Why did the railway worker bring a ladder to work? He wanted to climb the career tracks.
Why did the train go to the spa? It needed a little track-ment.
I had a dream that I was a train, but when I woke up, I realized it was just a loco-motion!
I tried to organize a railway-themed party, but it ended up going off the rails.
Why did the train visit the bakery? Because it wanted to get a little loaf on the side!
I wanted to be a train driver, but I got derailed by reality.
I asked a railway employee if I could hop on the train without a ticket. He said, “Sure, but don’t make it a habit.”

Railway Dad Jokes

Railway dad jokes are an ideal mix of witty play on words and hilarity that will have you groaning and giggling simultaneously.

They’re the sort of jokes that are so cheesy, they’re absolutely hilarious.

These jokes are perfect for family trips, casual chats, or just to brighten up anyone’s day.

Prepare for the eye rolls and chuckles.

Here are some railway dad jokes that are bound to tickle your funny bone:

Why are trains so good at sharing? They have loco-motives!
How do trains hear announcements? Through their engineers!
Why do railway engineers make great comedians? Because they have a lot of rail-larious jokes!
Why did the train sit down to play cards? Because it wanted to have a good track record!
Why are trains so good at guessing games? Because they have a loco-motive!
What did the train conductor say before the train departed? All aboard, I’m not lion.
Why did the train go to the gym? It wanted to work on its loco-motives!
Why don’t trains ever gossip? Because they like to keep track of their own business!
Why don’t trains ever gossip? They don’t want to spread any track-le!
What did the railway engine say to the caboose? “You’re always trailing behind!”
Why did the train go to the dentist? Because it had a tender tooth.
What did the railway conductor say to the loud passenger? “Mind the train of thought!”
What did the big steam engine say to the little steam engine? “You’re just a little off the rails!”
Why did the scarecrow get on the train? Because it needed to brush up on its field trips.
What did the railway say when it was asked if it was tired? “No, I’m just rail-y well-rested!”
What do you get when you cross a train with a vampire? A choo-choo train that sucks your blood!
Why did the train take a nap? Because it needed some rest for its engine-ious ideas!
Why did the scarecrow take a train? Because he needed a little engineeer-ing!
Why do trains make excellent chefs? Because they know how to steam vegetables!
Why did the train go to the music concert? It heard there would be some great tracks playing!
Why don’t trains ever go to the gym? Because they already have plenty of tracks to run on!
Why did the train get a good night’s sleep? Because it knew how to choo-choo its bedtime!
What did the train say to the platform? “I’ve been training all day for this moment!”
What did the train say to its carriages when they were being too loud? “You need to keep track of your volume!”
Why was the train so bad at cricket? It always got run over.
Why don’t trains ever get into trouble? Because they always stay on the right track!
Did you hear about the train conductor who became a magician? He turned his passengers into tickets!
Why did the train go to the music concert? Because it had a loco motive!
Why did the train attend therapy sessions? Because it had too many emotional baggage cars!
Why was the railway so popular among birds? Because it had plenty of “tweet” stops!
What did the train conductor say to the passengers when they arrived at their destination? “All aboard the exit train!”
Why did the train conductor become a magician? Because he had a lot of tricks up his sleeve.
Why don’t trains ever go on diet? They just can’t resist the tracks!
What did the train conductor say to the caboose? “You’re always behind me!”
Why did the train take a nap? It was going full steam ahead!
Why did the train conductor always carry a pen and paper? In case he had to draw a train of thought!
Why don’t trains gossip? They prefer to keep things on the right track!
Why don’t trains ever get in trouble? Because they always follow the rail-laws!
Why don’t trains make good comedians? Because their jokes tend to go off the rails!
Why did the railway chef get in trouble? He had a bad track record with his cooking!
Why did the scarecrow take a train? Because it heard it could finally get on board!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including train tracks!
Why did the train go to the gym? Because it wanted to get some tracks in shape!
Why was the math book sad when riding the train? Because it had too many problems to solve!
Why did the train get in trouble at school? It kept letting out too much steam!
What did the railway say to the passenger who couldn’t find a seat? “Don’t worry, we’ll track one down for you!”
Why was the railway track so tired? Because it had been training all day!
Why are trains always polite? Because they never want to cause a track-cident!
How does a train eat its food? It goes chew, chew!
Why don’t trains ever get lonely? Because they have so many tracks to connect with.
Why was the train cold? It left its tracksuit at home.
Why was the math book sad at the railway station? Because it had too many trains of thought.
What did the train conductor say to the passenger who asked for a ticket to the next station? “All aboard, next stop, laughter station!”
Why was the train so good at basketball? It knew how to make some great tracks!
What did the railway say to the departing train? “Have a locomotive day!”
Why did the train go to the bakery? Because it kneaded a loaf of bread.
Why don’t trains ever go on vacation? Because they have too many tracks to cover.
Why did the train always carry a watch? Because it liked to keep track of time!
Why did the train sit down on the job? It was a little engine and needed a rest!
Why did the train sit down at the railway station? It wanted to have a track-tical discussion.
Why did the tomato get off the train at the station? Because it saw the ketchup waiting on the platform!
What do you call a group of musical trains? A loco-motion band!
Why did the train bring a suitcase full of feathers? Because it wanted to have a soft landing!
Why did the train eat a burger? Because it heard it had a lot of tracks!
Why don’t trains sneeze? Because they have locomotives.
Why was the train always eager to go to work? It had a one-track mind!
What do you call a group of train conductors having a party? A loco-motive.
What do you get if you cross a train and a mummy? A choo-choo wrapped in bandages!
Why did the railway station become a bakery? They wanted to make some dough!
Why did the tomato turn red while riding the train? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the train sit down at the station? Because it needed a little track-tation!
What did the train say to its passengers on a hot summer day? “I’m locomotion air conditioning!”
Why don’t trains ever sweat? Because they have loco-motivation.
What did the railway worker say when he found his missing shovel? “This is a real rail-y good find!”
Why was the railway track always happy? Because it was always on the right track!
Why did the train take a nap? Because it had a one-track mind!
Why did the train go to school? It wanted to improve its loco-motion!
Why did the train bring a ladder to the station? To reach the high notes in the train tracks!
What did the railway say to the passenger who complained about the slow train? “Don’t worry, it’ll be on track soon!”
Why did the railway conductor win an award? Because he was outstanding in his track record!
What did the railway conductor say to his passengers? “Tickets, please! No need to weigh in, this isn’t a scale train!”
Why did the train go to the gym? It wanted to get on the right track and stay fit!
What did the freight train say to the passenger train? “You’re always on track!”
Why did the train sit down at the restaurant? Because it heard they served track-os!
What did the train conductor say when the train went off the rails? “We’re going off track!”
Why did the railway never get bored? It always had a lot of locomotion!
Why did the railway chef quit his job? Because he couldn’t make enough tracks-tails!
Why don’t scientists trust trains? Because they always derail the evidence!
Why do trains make excellent detectives? Because they always follow the tracks!
Why are trains so good at making decisions? They always stay on track.
What kind of train can you eat? A chew-chew train!
Why did the train always carry a map? So it wouldn’t get lost on the rail-road!
Why don’t trains ever gossip? They know it’s pointless since they’re always on track.
Why did the train conductor get in trouble? He kept getting off track!
Why did the train conductor become a chef? Because he loved working with gravy trains!
Why do trains make great detectives? They’re always on track!
Why did the train conductor become a magician? Because he loved performing trackless tricks!
What do you call a train that got a promotion? An ele-locomotive!
Why are trains so good at telling jokes? Because they have great track records!
Why did the railway conductor get in trouble? He kept losing track of time!
Why was the railway track covered in dirt? Because the train couldn’t resist a little track-tor ride!

Railway Jokes for Kids

Railway jokes for kids are like the playful locomotives of the comedy track—safe, fun, and always a success with the junior passengers.

These jokes inspire kids to engage with language and appreciate the delight of puns, nurturing a fondness for humor that’s as delightful as a scenic train ride.

Moreover, railway jokes for kids have the special advantage of making learning about transportation amusing, transforming those big machines on tracks into a source of giggles.

Ready for a joyride of laughter?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them chuckling over their choo-choo trains:

Why did the train stop playing cards? It was missing all its engineers!
What did the caboose say to the engine? “You’re being a little train-sparent!”
Why do trains make excellent storytellers? Because they have great tracks to share!
Why did the train have a hard time sleeping? It had too many “track”-mares!
Why did the train get bad grades in school? It was always chugging along!
What do you get if you cross a train with a monster? Lots of terrified passengers!
Why did the train go to the gym? To stay on track and maintain a good locomotive shape!
What do trains eat for lunch? Sub-ways!
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum? A chew-chew train!
Why did the train bring a clock to the party? Because it wanted to “toot-toot” at midnight!
Why did the train bring a broom to the party? It wanted to sweep everyone off their feet!
What do trains eat for breakfast? Coal cereal with steam milk!
Why did the cookie go to the railway station? Because it wanted to catch the “choo-choo” train!
Why did the train take a nap? It was training for a long journey!
What did the train conductor say to the passengers? Tickets, please! Choo-choo-choose your seats!
What do you get when you cross a train with a vampire? The Transylvania Express!
What did the train say to the caboose? “You’re the last one to leave, so you better train your rear end!”
What did the railway say to the train? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you on the right track!”
Why did the train take a nap? It was on track to becoming a fast sleeper!
Why did the train take a nap? It was exhausted from all the tracks it had to run on!
Why did the train start a band? It had a great engine for music!
What do trains do when they need to blow their nose? They choo-choo!
Why did the train sit down on the job? It needed some “train-ing” time!
Why did the train take a nap? It was all out of steam!
Why did the train go to space? Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
Why did the train sit on the floor? It missed its last station and had no platform to stand on!
What do you call a train that’s been eaten by a dinosaur? A tyranno-train-saurus!
Why did the train go to school? Because it wanted to become a “loco”-motive!
What do you get if you cross a train with a birthday cake? A “choo-choo” train with candles!
How do trains hear each other? Through the “choo-choo” network!
Why did the scarecrow take the train? Because it heard it was full of straw-berries.
What did one train say to the other train? All aboard the friendship express!
What did one train say to the other train? “I’m always on the right track!”
What kind of train can carry a lot of people? A pain-train!
Why did the train eat a lot of coal? It wanted to become a big engine!
What’s a train’s favorite snack? Coal-slaw!
Why did the train bring a pencil to class? To draw train tracks!
What do you call a train that sings? A chug-a-chug choir!
What did the mommy train say to the baby train? “It’s time to choo-choo-choose a bedtime story!”
Why did the train go to school? To get a little engine-ering education.
Why don’t trains ever get lost? Because they always know where they’re going on the right track!
What’s a train’s favorite music? Track-and-roll!
Why did the train eat a dollar bill? It wanted to see some fast food!
Why did the train go to the stationery store? It needed to get some tracks!
Why did the train sit down at the concert? It wanted to be a real train-seater!
What do you call a train that’s been eating too much? A chub-chub train!
Why did the train bring a blanket? To keep itself on track!
Why did the train go to the baseball game? It wanted to catch a “fast”-ball!
What do you call a train that’s been hijacked? A loco-motive!
Why did the train always carry a suitcase? Because it had a lot of tracks to travel!
Why did the train go to the zoo? To visit the “track”-odiles!
Why did the train go to the gym? To train for the track and field events!
What’s a train’s favorite drink? Track-uccino!
Why do trains make good magicians? Because they have plenty of track records!
Why did the train sit down at the baseball game? It heard the catcher was a great conductor!
Why did the train bring a flashlight? It wanted to train-spot in the dark!
Why did the train bring a ladder? To climb to new heights on the railway tracks.
What do trains do at school? They locomote!
Why did the train conductor go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw a better train of thought!
Why did the train sit on the clock? It wanted to be on time!
Why did the train sit down? Because it had too many engineers!
What’s a train’s favorite song? “Loco-motion”!
Why did the train bring a broom? To sweep away any tracks of trouble!
Why did the train stop at the vegetable market? It wanted to get fresh “track” of vegetables!
What do you get if you cross a train with a bicycle? A choo-choo train that needs a little pedaling power!
Why did the train take a nap? It was feeling a little locomotion-sick!
Why did the train bring a pencil and paper? To take notes on the railway journey.
What kind of train can carry a lot of sweets? A candy locomotive!
What kind of train can swim? A locomotive!
Why did the train bring a teddy bear? To have a cuddly companion on its railway adventures!
What do you call a train that sneezes? An ach-choo-choo train!
Why did the train become an artist? Because it loved to draw “train-sitions”!
What do you get when you cross a train with a monster? Track-tacular fun!
Why did the train sit on the fence? Because it was a ‘rail’ fence!
What did the train conductor say to the passengers? All aboard for a fun and choo-choo-tastic ride!
Why did the train always carry a suitcase? Because it was always ready to “choo-choo”!
Why did the train always carry a camera? Because it loved capturing locomotive moments!
Why did the train become a musician? Because it had great track records!
Why don’t trains ever get lost? Because they always know which track to take!
Why did the train start a band? Because it had a great track record!
What’s a train’s favorite TV show? Platform of Thrones!
Why do trains always know where they’re going? Because they have a good track record!
Why don’t trains like playing cards? Because they always end up getting dealt a bad hand!
What’s a train’s favorite food? Engine-ine spaghetti!
Why did the train go to the gym? To train its “engine” muscles!
Why did the train bring a broom to the station? It wanted to sweep the competition!
Why did the train bring a camera? To capture all the railway memories!
Why did the train bring a ladder? To reach the high tracks and say “Choo-choo!” from up there!
Why did the train bring a map to the party? To “track” down all the fun!
Why did the train go to school? To get smarter on the tracks!
Why did the train sit down to take a rest? Because it was tired of running on the tracks!
Why did the train go to the bakery? It wanted to get a choco-chew-chew!
Why don’t trains ever gossip? Because they can’t “choo-choo” the news!
What is a train’s favorite type of music? Track and roll!
Why did the train bring a watermelon to the party? Because it wanted to have a melon-choly ride!
What do you get when you cross a train and a vampire? A choo-choo train that goes, “I vant to suck your blood!”!
Why did the train take a nap? It was too tired of going choo-choo all day!

Railway Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t have a good laugh with a clever railway joke?

Railway jokes for adults are the perfect blend of smart humor and a touch of whimsy.

Just like a smooth-running train on the tracks, these jokes combine elements of wit, wisdom, and a pinch of risqué for an unforgettable chuckle.

These jokes are perfect for travel enthusiasts, train hobbyists, or simply to inject some laughter into a serious discussion amongst friends.

So, get on board and enjoy this hilarious journey with some railway jokes that are specifically designed for adults:

Why did the train refuse to pay for dinner? It didn’t have any loose change!
Why was the train running late? It had a bad case of tracktion!
What did the train say to the engine driver? I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…
Why did the train always bring a map on its trips? To stay on track and avoid railway disasters!
Why did the train refuse to go any further? It had a one-track mind!
Why don’t trains ever go on vacation? They’re always on track!
Why did the railway station always win the lottery? It had a lot of tracks to success!
What did one train say to the other train? “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can… derailing the competition!”
Why do trains make terrible magicians? They always disappear without a choo-choo!
Why don’t trains ever go on strike? They always conduct themselves!
Why did the train always arrive late to the party? It had a one-track mind!
Why was the train late to the party? It got caught up in a track jam!
Why did the train become an actor? It loved playing “locomotive” roles!
Why did the train become an actor? It loved being on the right track!
Why did the train apologize? It didn’t mean to railroad anyone!
Why did the train become a detective? It had a knack for tracking down criminals!
Why was the railway track always stressed? It had way too many trainees!
Why did the train conductor become a chef? He wanted to serve up some tracks-tastic meals!
Why did the train enjoy reading mystery novels? It liked to follow the tracks!
Why don’t trains ever get lost? Because they always know their tracks!
Why do trains make terrible magicians? They always derail their tricks!
Why did the railway worker bring a shovel to work? He wanted to train for the underground Olympics!
Why did the train refuse to sit down? It had too many conductors on board!
Why did the train attend school? It wanted to become a track-star athlete!
Why do trains make great comedians? They have a lot of tracks up their sleeve!
What did one train say to the other train? “I’ve got a lot of steam for you!”
Why did the train take a nap? It was tired of being on track all the time!
What did the railway say to the train tracks? You’re my main line of communication!
What did the train conductor say to the ghost passenger? “Tickets, please… and boo-boarding passes!”
Why did the train sit on the toilet? Because it needed to pass some “locomotion!”
Why did the train take a nap? It needed to rest its tracks!
Why did the train always carry a book with him? Because he wanted to stay on track!
Why did the train’s coffee file a complaint? It wanted a steamier cuppa!
Why did the railway station hire a magician? To make the train disappear and arrive on time!
Why did the train conductor become a chef? Because he loved to make all the right tracks!
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train!
Why do trains make excellent detectives? They always have a great track record!
Why did the train become a musician? It had a great sense of rhythm and loved playing the rails!
Why did the train conductor get a ticket? Because he was caught speeding on the rails!
Why did the train get a speeding ticket? Because it couldn’t keep track of the speed limit!
What did one train say to the other? “I’m chugging along nicely, how about you?”
Why did the train become a detective? It was great at tracking down clues!
What did the railway conductor say to the passenger who lost his ticket? “Ticket or not, here I come!”
Why did the train go to the spa? It needed some track maintenance!
Why did the train become a comedian? Because it had a great sense of “loco” humor!
What do you call a train that can fly? An aero-loco-motive!
Why did the train blush? It saw the station master’s signal turning red!
Why did the train blush? It saw the platforms kissing each other!
Why did the train get in trouble with the law? It had too many tracks on its record!
Why did the train attend therapy? It had trouble staying on track!
What did the train say to the departing passenger? “Don’t “choo-choo”se to leave, stay on board!”
What did the conductor say to the passenger who was blocking the aisle? “Ticket or get out of the way!”
What did the train say to the passenger who wouldn’t get off? “I think it’s time to choo-choo-choose your destination!”
Why did the train get into an argument with the car? It didn’t appreciate being railroaded!
Why did the train go to therapy? It had too many track-related issues!
Why did the train always carry a camera? It loved taking platform-shots!
What did one train say to the other train during rush hour? “I think I’m going off the rails!”
Why was the train always late? Because it had a bad track record!
Why did the train conductor become a doctor? Because he wanted to give people a one-way ticket to health!
Why did the train throw a party? It wanted to have a loco-motion celebration!
Why did the train get a bad grade in school? It always skipped tracks!
Why are trains so good at making decisions? They always have a lot of track records!
Why did the train sit at the computer? It wanted to Google locomotives!
Why did the conductor of the train get into acting? He had a knack for making tracks!
Why did the train need therapy? It had too many choo-choo-choos!
Why did the train attend art school? It wanted to learn how to draw passengers!
Why do trains make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always run off the rails!
Why did the train driver wear headphones? To keep track of the music!
Why did the train sit down on the job? It was a stationary engineer!
Why did the conductor bring a ladder to the train station? Because the train was high off the tracks!
Why did the train attend therapy sessions? It had a lot of baggage to unload!
Why did the train go to the beach? Because it needed some track-sun!
Why did the train go to the art gallery? It wanted to see some locomotive art!
Why was the railway platform a great place to exercise? It had plenty of tracks for running!
Why did the train chef always serve delicious meals? He had a great loco-motive!
Why did the train become a comedian? It loved making people laugh on the rails!
Why did the train refuse to go to the gym? It didn’t want to lose its train of thought!
Why did the train get in trouble at school? It couldn’t stop “choo-choo-sing” bad behavior!
What do you call a train carrying bubble gum? A chew chew train!
What did the railway employee say when asked about their favorite TV show? “I love watching “Track of Thrones”!”
Why did the railway station get in trouble? It couldn’t keep track of all the trains coming and going!
Why did the train become a chef? It loved making all the gravy trains!
Why did the train get a ticket for speeding? It couldn’t brake the habit!
What did the train say to the passenger who wanted to get off at the next stop? “I’m sorry, but it’s not in my locomotion plan!”
Why did the train bring a ladder to the station? It wanted to “train” for a high jump event!
Why was the railway track upset? It felt like it was always being railroaded!
Why did the train become a detective? It had a keen sense of railway!
Why did the train need glasses? It had trouble seeing tracks ahead!
Why did the railway platform get a fine? It was caught trying to flirt with the tracks!
Why don’t trains make good doctors? They always have too many patients on board!
Why did the railway station become a bakery? Because it always had fresh rolls on the tracks!
What do you call a train that likes to read? A loco-motive reader!
Why did the train conductor become a musician? He had a natural ability to conduct!
Why did the railway manager keep a pig at the station? For the train to have some bacon!
Why did the train sit down at the computer? It wanted to check its track-record!
Why was the train such a good musician? It had great track-tion!
What did the railway conductor say to the passenger who asked for a discount? “Sorry, that’s just not in train!”
Why did the railway inspector always carry a camera? Because he wanted to capture all the “train-wrecks” he saw!
What did the train say to the car? “Choo-choo, move over!”
Why was the train so good at math? It had lots of tracks-cperience!
Why was the railway track so good at making friends? Because it was always on the right track!
Why did the train conductor get a promotion? He always stayed on track!
Why do trains make terrible comedians? They always railroad their punchlines!
What did the train conductor say to the passenger who kept singing loudly? “Please refrain from rail-road behavior!”
Why was the train always running late? Because it had too many tracks of thought!
Why did the train join a band? It had great tracks to lay down!
Why did the train conductor start a band? He wanted to make some loco-music!
Why did the train conductor get arrested? He got caught for locomotion!
Why do trains make good musicians? They have perfect timing on the tracks!
Why did the train take a nap? It needed some rest on the right-of-way!
Why was the train always so tired? It had too many sleepers on board!
Why did the train blush? It saw the platform’s “rail” nice outfit!
Why did the train conductor become a magician? Because he was great at pulling tracks out of his hat!
What did the train say to the annoying passenger? “I’ve had enough, I’m going off the rails!”
Why did the train conductor always carry a ladder? Because he wanted to reach new heights in his career!
What did the train conductor say when he lost his tickets? “I can’t find them anywhere, they must have been derailed!”
Why was the railway station so noisy? It had too many engineers ‘training’ their voices!
Why did the scarecrow take the train? Because he heard it was a rail-y good ride!
Why was the railway inspector always so happy? He had a great track record!
Why did the train conductor become a doctor? He wanted to hear people say “All aboard!” and “Open wide!”
Why did the train become a magician? It learned to disappear on schedule!
What did the railway station say to the train? “Don’t worry, I’ll always be here to support you. You can lean on me!”
Why did the train sit on the fence? It couldn’t decide which side of the tracks to be on!
Why did the train always have great parties? Because it knew how to keep the tracks moving!
Why did the train go to the gym? It heard it needed to get track-tive!
Why did the railway station hire a DJ? Because they wanted to keep the tracks rocking all night long!
Why did the train eat breakfast? Because it wanted to start the day on the right track!
What did one train say to the other train? “I’ve got so many engineers, but no track record!”
What did the railway employee say when asked about their job? “I’m just “track”ing my way through life!”
Why was the railway track sad? It felt like it was going off the rails!
Why did the train go on a diet? It wanted to shed some freight!
Why did the train become a detective? Because it loved to “track” down clues!
Why did the train driver bring a ladder to work? In case he needed to climb aboard!
Why did the scarecrow become a ticket collector at the train station? Because he was outstanding in his field!

Railway Joke Generator

Navigating the tracks of humor can be quite a rail-y daunting task.

(Did you catch that?)

That’s where our FREE Railway Joke Generator comes in to keep your humor on the right track.

Engineered to combine smart puns, on-track humor, and playful phrases, it generates jokes that are sure to have you chugging with laughter.

Don’t let your jokes derail or become a train wreck.

Use our joke generator to engineer jokes that are as smooth and captivating as a scenic train ride.

FAQs About Railway Jokes

Why are railway jokes popular?

Railway jokes are popular due to their universal appeal.

Trains and railways are integral parts of life across the world, making it relatable for many.

They also involve a wide range of themes like travel, human interactions, and even technical aspects, offering a rich ground for humor.

Can railway jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Railway jokes can be great ice-breakers or conversation starters.

They can lighten the mood, bring people together and can be especially effective when traveling or in gatherings of train enthusiasts.

How can I come up with my own railway jokes?

Understand the different elements of railways – types of trains, parts of a train, railway stations, railway staff roles, etc.
Learn the lingo associated with railways (e.g., track, platform, ticket, conductor). There could be homophones or phrases involving these words that can be turned into jokes.
Think about the many situations that could occur in the context of trains and railways. Are they funny mishaps or witty observations? Tailor your humor to match these situations.
Use puns and wordplay. Railway jokes can be an express way to humor, especially with play on words.
Twist well-known sayings or phrases to fit into the railway context.