488 Reptile Jokes That Will Make You Slither with Laughter

If you’ve slithered your way here, it means you’re ready to dive into the world of reptile jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the apex of amusement.

That’s why we’ve assembled a list of the most hilarious reptile jokes.

From snappy puns to hiss-terical one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every scale of life.

So, let’s slink into the wild side of reptile humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Reptile Jokes

Slither into the humorous world of reptile jokes!

These quirky quips are sure to shed a bit of light-hearted fun on these fascinating creatures.

Reptiles, with their unique characteristics and behaviors, provide a rich canvas for comedy.

Ranging from their cold-blooded biology to their iconic slithering, crawling, and basking habits, there’s plenty of room for puns and witty one-liners.

Perfectly blending wordplay, surprising twists, and the fascinating world of reptiles, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny scales.

Whether you’re a reptile enthusiast, a seasoned herpetologist, or just someone looking for a good laugh, it’s time to bask in the sun of humor with these hilarious reptile jokes:

What did one snake say to the other snake on Valentine’s Day? Give me a hug and a hiss!
How do alligators communicate? With reptile phones!
Why don’t reptiles have their own TV shows? Because they prefer to watch reptile dysfunction on Animal Planet!
Why don’t reptiles like playing cards? They’re always dealing with scales!
What’s a reptile’s favorite sci-fi movie? “Jurassic Park”!
What do you call a reptile that’s a famous musician? A rockstar-dile!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To show the chicken it could be done at a snail’s pace!
Why did the alligator start a band? Because he wanted to be a croc star!
Why did the turtle always win at poker? Because it had the best “shell” game!
Why did the lizard become a locksmith? Because he was great at picking scales!
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego? A reptile dysfunction!
Why don’t snakes have any friends? Because they can be a real hisster!
Why did the snake go to the spa? It needed a reptile relaxation.
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A π-thon!
Why did the alligator start a band? Because he had a mean croc and roll attitude!
What did the alligator say when it bumped into the turtle? Sorry, my fault, I didn’t mean to snap at you!
Why did the alligator bring a GPS to the swamp? Because it didn’t want to get lost in the reptile dysfunction!
What do you call a reptile that’s a locksmith? A “croc”smith!
How do you know when a lizard is scared? It gets frilled out!
Why don’t snakes have pets? Because they can’t hold them with their paws!
What do you call a turtle that can do magic tricks? A shell-ebritty!
Why don’t reptiles gamble? They prefer not to play with “lizard” luck!
Why did the turtle go to the seafood restaurant? He heard they served “shellebration” dinners!
What do you call a reptile that takes care of the house? A rep-tile cleaner!
Why did the gecko start a band? Because he could play the lizard guitar like a pro!
How do you know if a reptile is a good singer? They have scales!
Why don’t reptiles take up acting? They find it hard to shed their skin on stage.
What’s a reptile’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones!
Why was the alligator invited to the party? Because he knew how to bring the snappy vibes!
How do you make a reptile laugh? Just tell it a “hiss-terical” joke!
What do you get when you cross a reptile with a carrot? A snap-pea lizard!
Why did the snake buy a laptop? It heard it had a lot of Python!
Why did the snake go on a diet? It had a lot of “weighssss” to shed!
Why are crocodiles so good at solving mysteries? Because they have a lot of scales!
Why don’t snakes like fast cars? They can’t handle the hiss-peed!
Why did the gecko get a job in marketing? Because he knows how to make great ads-tails!
What do you call a reptile that works in a car factory? A steering lizard!
Why don’t reptiles like playing cards? Because they’re afraid of getting caught in a “lizard” trick!
What did the snake say to the turtle? “Nice to meetcha, slowpoke!”
Why did the turtle always know what was happening? It had a “shell”-phone!
What did the frog say to the lizard? “I think we should stick to hopping, because reptiles can’t dance!”
Why are alligators so nosy? Because they’re always in other people’s “swamp” business!
Why don’t turtles like shopping? Because they prefer shell service!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To show the chicken that it wasn’t the slowest animal!
Why did the chameleon get a ticket? Because it was caught “tailgating”!
Why did the snake go to the dance party? To shed some skin on the dance floor!
What did the snake say to his girlfriend? “I love you a sssssss-million times over!”
Why did the gecko go to the doctor? It lost its “tail-ent”!
Why don’t turtles play tennis? Because they might get a shell in the eye!
What’s a reptile’s favorite game show? “The Lizard of Odds!”
What did the alligator say when he lost his wallet? “I really need to keep a closer eye on my finances!”
What did the reptile say when it got a job? “I’m ready to scale the corporate ladder!”
Why don’t reptiles like driving cars? They prefer to stick to their “tail”-gating techniques!
Why did the snake go to the basketball game? Because it heard there would be lots of hoops!
Why don’t snakes use cell phones? Because they prefer vipers!
How do you ask a snake to borrow some money? Can I have a “co-borrower”?
What do you get when you cross a lizard and a donkey? A slizzard that talks a lot!
Why did the crocodile go to the dentist? Because it had a toothy grin that needed a snap-ointment!
Why did the snake go to the car dealership? He wanted to trade hiss old car for a new one!
How do you measure a reptile’s intelligence? By its reptile quotient!
What do you call a reptile with a car? A tricera-cop!
How do reptiles send secret messages? They use a scale-mail!
What did the reptile say when it got a job? “I’m really thrilled, I can finally make some green!”
Why did the snake go on a diet? It heard it was getting a bit constricting!
What’s a reptile’s favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz!
Why don’t snakes ever get lost? Because they always have their scales with them!
How do you make a reptile laugh? Tell them a pun-chline!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder? Because he wanted to reach new heights!
Why did the alligator start a band? Because it had scales and wanted to make some music reptiles!
Why did the lizard bring a suitcase to the beach? It wanted to catch some rays!
Why do reptiles always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales!
Why don’t reptiles like social media? They don’t want to be Facebook friends with all those “crocodile” tears!
Why did the chameleon get in trouble at school? Because it couldn’t blend in!
Why don’t snakes like playing cards? Because they don’t have any hands to hold them!
What did one turtle say to the other when they crossed the road together? “Let’s take it slow and steady!”
Why was the turtle sent to detention? It was caught doing shell-arious activities!
Why did the alligator go to the bank? To get his scales checked!
How do turtles communicate with each other? With shell-phones!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pastry constrictor.
How do chameleons measure things? In inches, because they’re always changing!
Why are turtles always so calm? Because they take things at their own pace!
What do you get when you cross a turtle and a giraffe? A turtle that can reach the top shelf!
What’s a reptile’s favorite dessert? A snake shake!
What do you call a reptile that works in a bakery? A snake and bake chef!

Short Reptile Jokes

Short reptile jokes are like a sly crocodile—unexpected, sharp, and full of bite-sized humor.

These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood during an intense discussion, putting a smile on your friends’ faces, or simply adding a touch of humor to your social media posts.

The charm of short reptile jokes lies in their ability to intertwine the bizarre world of reptiles with our everyday life, producing laughter that is as surprising as a chameleon’s color change.

And now, let’s slither into the fun!

Here are short reptile jokes that deliver a quick giggle in just a few words.

What did the turtle say to the lizard? Shell-o!
Why don’t reptiles get angry? They have scale control!
Why did the turtle go to the party? To shell-ebrate!
Why don’t reptiles take up math? Because they’re good at slither-ation!
Why don’t snakes have wheels? Because they are slitherin’ vehicles!
Why was the turtle so good at baseball? Because it’s a slow-pitcher!
Why did the turtle go to school? To get a little “shell”-education!
What did the turtle say to the lizard? You shell-ious little creature!
Why was the gecko always laughing? Because it found everything ribbeting!
Why did the alligator start a band? He wanted to play scales!
How do you make a turtle fast? Take away its shell phone!
How do you find a lost snake? Follow the hiss-trail!
What did the snake say to the turtle? Ssslow down!
What did the turtle say to the comedian? You’re too slow!
Why don’t snakes like listening to music? Because they have no ears!
What did the alligator say to the crocodile? You’re such a copycat!
Why don’t turtles ever share their secrets? Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To shell-ebrate his birthday!
Why do turtles always win races? They’re shell-fish competitors!
Why did the frog bring a ladder? To reach the high notes!
What do you call a reptile that works out? A muscle-lizard!
Why do reptiles make terrible detectives? They always “croak” under pressure!
Why did the snake bring a measuring tape? To size things up!
Why did the alligator go to the dentist? To improve his croc-smile!
What do you call a lazy reptile? A slow-poke-tortoise!
Why did the chameleon blush? Because it saw a reptile dysfunction commercial!
What do you call a sneaky reptile? A lizard of disguise!
Why don’t reptiles ever play cards? They’re all cheetahs!
What’s a reptile’s favorite dessert? Snake-er-doodle cookies!
What do you call a polite reptile? A boa constrictor!
What did the lizard say to his friend? “Iguana be with you!”
Why did the alligator cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
What do you call a reptile that sings? A newt-y pop star!
Why did the turtle go to school? To learn shell-f-defense!
Why are crocodiles such bad comedians? Their delivery is too dry!
Why do alligators make good detectives? Because they have sharp eyes!
What’s a snake’s favorite dance move? The slither slide!
What do you call a turtle that can fly? A shell-icopter!

Reptile Jokes One-Liners

Reptile jokes in one-liner form are the epitome of humor condensed into a single sentence.

They’re the verbal analogue of a chameleon changing its colors in the blink of an eye – vibrant, surprising, and brilliantly intriguing.

Constructing an excellent one-liner demands a combination of originality, accuracy, and a profound love for the art of puns.

The challenge lies in compressing both the setup and the punchline into a concise format, delivering a powerful comedic punch with only a few words.

Here’s to hoping these reptile one-liners have you shedding your skin in fits of laughter:

Why did the alligator go to the bank? Because it wanted to open a “savings” account!
What’s a reptile’s favorite dessert? Apple pie-thon!
Why don’t reptiles ever do stand-up comedy? Because their delivery is too dry!
Why don’t reptiles gamble? Because they prefer “playing scales” instead of cards.
What’s a reptile’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop—because they love moving their tails!
What do you call a reptile that is a master of disguise? A chameleon of comedy!
How did the turtle become a comedian? It had a shell of a sense of humor!
Why don’t snakes carry a wallet? Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why was the snake a good mathematician? Because it was an “adder” genius!
Why did the alligator start a band? Because it had a killer guitar technique!
Why did the lizard become a chef? Because he wanted to make terri-fried meals!
What do you call a polite lizard? A chameleon-derful creature.
Why was the snake a good doctor? Because he knew how to scale things down.
Why did the snake take up yoga? To improve his hiss-teresis!
Why did the alligator get a medal? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a reptile that tells tall tales? A slippery storyteller!
Why are crocodiles such bad comedians? Because their jokes are all “cringe-o-dile”!
What do you call a snake that builds things? A boa constructor!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To shell-ebrate reaching the other side!
Why was the reptile bad at math? It couldn’t count without its slithering!
I asked my snake if it wanted to go for a walk, but it said it had a “hissterical” fear of leashes.
What’s a reptile’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Tortoises!”
What did the turtle say to the comedian? You’re a real shell of a jokester!
What do you call a reptile that sings country music? A lizard skinner!
Why was the reptile angry? Because someone called it a “cold-blooded” animal!
Why did the snake go to school? To improve its hiss-terical knowledge.
How does a reptile measure its height? In inches-stones and scales.
Why did the lizard become a stand-up comedian? Because he had a great reptile dysfunction!
What do you call a reptile that takes care of your teeth? A fang-dental assistant!
Why do reptiles like to play tennis? Because they have a mean backhand!
What do you call a lizard that sings rock and roll? A gecko-star!
Why did the gecko start a band? Because it had a great reptile dysfunction!
Why was the snake a great dancer? Because it had the best rattlesnakes!
Why was the snake a great dancer? Because he had the best “moves” in town!
What do you get when you mix a snake and a lego? A slippery slope!
Why don’t reptiles like playing cards? Because they’re prone to be lizard and reptile.
What did the reptile say when it found its lost contact lens? “Eyesssssssssssssssss!”
Why don’t snakes have any friends? Because they’re just too hissterical!
Why did the chameleon get kicked out of art class? Because he couldn’t stop blending in!
What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A python apple pie!
What did the chameleon say to the gecko? “You’ve got some serious scale issues!”
Why did the snake become a math teacher? Because it could always find the angle!
Why did the alligator bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the crocodile’s luggage!
Why don’t you ever see reptiles in the zoo? Because they can’t take their scales off!
Why did the snake bring a ruler to the party? Because he wanted to measure up to the competition!
What do you call a reptile that sings opera? A croc-tastic soprano!
I tried to make friends with a turtle, but it just kept giving me a “shell” of a time.
Why did the reptile bring a ladder to the zoo? To see the reptile exhibit up close and “perch”onally!
What did the reptile say to the detective? “I’ve got scales and I’m not afraid to use them!”
Why did the lizard join the gym? He wanted to be a lounge lizard!
What did the snake say to the turtle? “You’re looking shell-acious today!”
Why did the chameleon get a job as a painter? It wanted to blend in and stand out at the same time!
Why don’t reptiles take up gardening? Because they don’t have green thumbs, they have green scales!
What did the turtle say to the snail? “Hey, you’re snailed it!”
Why did the reptile bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to reach the top “scale” of fashion!
Why did the lizard go to the spa? To get some reptile-relaxation!
What do you call a chameleon that can’t change color? A reptile dysfunction!
What did the snake say when it bumped into the wall? “I found a snake in the grass!”
Why don’t reptiles use cell phones? Because they already have scales!
I asked my pet snake if he wanted a hug, but he said he just needed his space.
Why did the alligator bring a suitcase to the party? It was ready to “snap” some photos!
Why did the alligator go to the bank? To see the river bank.
What do you get when you cross a reptile and a detective? A private-eye-thon.
Why did the lizard bring a map to the desert? Because it wanted to find the reptile mile!
Why do reptiles make terrible detectives? Because they always shed their skin-sight!
What do you call a crocodile that tells jokes? A stand-up chameleon!
What’s a snake’s favorite TV show? Game of Thrones—because they love the scales!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a math teacher? A ssssssssinister mathematician!
Why did the alligator bring a suitcase to the wedding? Because it was his “travel-luggage”!
What do you call a reptile that sings in a band? A “Crocodile Rockstar”!
Why did the snake become a librarian? Because it heard they have lots of “bookworms”!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a lego? A flexible building block!
Why don’t snakes like shopping? They prefer the reptile aisle!
Why did the turtle always go to the gym? To work on his shell-fie game!
Why don’t turtles like fast cars? They prefer to take it slow and shell-ebrate life!
What did the turtle say to the snail? “I’ll get there eventually!”
What did the snake say to the turtle? “Shell we go on an adventure together?”
Why did the alligator bring a suitcase to the party? Because it was rolling in style.
Why are snakes good at math? Because they know how to slither through problems!
Why did the iguana bring a ladder to the comedy show? To reach the punchline!
What did the snake say to the turtle? “You’re such a slow-poke!”
What did the alligator say when it got a job? “See you later, irrigator!”
What did the reptile say when he lost his tail? “It’s all behind me now!”
Why don’t reptiles take up acting? They find it hard to perform without scales!
Why did the alligator wear a vest? Because it wanted to be an in-vest-igator!
Why don’t snakes ever argue? They prefer hiss-terical discussions!
What do you call a snake with a great sense of style? A boa constrictor!
Why did the alligator bring a calculator to the party? He wanted to make sure he could count on his reptile friends!
Why did the snake become a comedian? Because it knew how to slither up to a punchline!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems with reptiles!
How do you spot a cool reptile at a party? They’re always the one doing the snake dance!
How do reptiles send secret messages? By using crypt-o-diles!
Why did the reptile bring a suitcase to the party? Because he wanted to pack the dance floor!
Why don’t reptiles ever take up knitting? They can never find a good “croak-et”!
Why did the turtle take up boxing? Because it wanted to shell out some punches!
Why did the lizard go on a diet? It weighed too much in skinks!
What’s a chameleon’s favorite song? “I Will Survive” by Coloratura Flack.
Why was the crocodile always cold? Because he was a reptile and couldn’t find a sweater that fit!
What do you call a reptile that’s a math genius? An adder-lizard.
Why did the turtle cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a “chicken” after all!
Why do reptiles never forget anything? Because they have “crocodile memory”!
What did the chameleon say when it couldn’t change color anymore? “I’ve got to get a new skin-tologist!”
Why did the gecko bring a spoon to the desert? He heard it was full of sand-wiches!

Reptile Dad Jokes

Reptile dad jokes are a unique combination of humor and puns that can make everyone laugh and groan simultaneously.

They’re the type of jokes that are so awful, they’re fantastic.

These jokes are the perfect ice breakers at parties, amusing conversation starters, or simply a way to bring a grin to anyone’s face.

Prepare for the eye rolls and chuckles.

Here are some reptile dad jokes that are guaranteed to amuse:

Why do turtles always win at video games? Because they never turtle-ly give up!
Why did the chameleon get kicked out of school? It couldn’t blend in with the crowd.
What do you call a snake that becomes a famous musician? A rock python!
What did the reptile say when it saw its reflection? “I look lizard-able!”
How do reptiles send letters? By using a lick-her-tongue!
Why don’t reptiles use cell phones? They prefer slither coverage.
What did the alligator say when it won the lottery? See you later, alligator!
Why don’t snakes use cell phones? Because they don’t have any arms to dial!
Why did the lizard go to school? To improve its newtworking skills!
What did the turtle say to the reptile therapist? I’m shell-shocked!
What do you call a reptile that’s a great dancer? A gator with some smooth moves!
Why was the snake a great comedian? Because it could really hiss-tory your funny bone!
Why don’t reptiles like telling secrets? Because they can’t keep their mouths shut.
Why did the snake become a referee? Because it knew how to boa-lance the game!
Why don’t reptiles own smartphones? They already have scale-tphones!
What do you call a reptile that likes to bowl? A strike-a-tortoise.
Why did the chameleon get a job in marketing? Because it can blend in anywhere!
What do you call a reptile that works at a fast-food restaurant? A snake ‘n’ shake employee!
How do you invite a reptile to a party? You send them a reptile-vitation.
Why did the turtle start a band? Because it had a shell of rhythm!
What’s a reptile’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop.
What do you call a reptile with a great personality? A charmer!
Why don’t reptiles ever take time off work? Because they’re afraid of getting a reptile dysfunction.
Why don’t lizards like playing cards? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs!
Why was the turtle so slow? Because it was always a little shellfish!
What did the snake say to the turtle? “Fasten your shell belt! We’re going on an adventure!”
What do you call a reptile that works on Wall Street? A financial advisor-dactyl!
Why don’t reptiles gamble? Because they prefer playing with a full deck of scales!
Why don’t snakes like to fight in the wild? Because they don’t have any venom-ture!
Why don’t snakes wear shoes? Because they have slithering feet!
Why don’t reptiles own cars? They prefer to slither around in scales!
What do you call a reptile that works in customer service? A cold-blooded representative!
How does a turtle talk to another turtle? Slowly but shell-y!
What do you call a reptile with GPS? A navigation lizard.
Why don’t reptiles like to play cards? Because they’re afraid of getting caught in a “snakes and ladders” situation!
Why are crocodiles so good at rugby? Because they’re always making forward passes!
What did the turtle say to the reptile magician? “You shell me amazed!”
Why don’t reptiles use computers? Because they prefer a good snake!
What do you call a turtle who loves taking pictures? A snap-turtle!
Why did the turtle cross the finish line? Because it was determined to shell-abrate!
Why are turtles always so calm? Because they take things slow and steady!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the gym? Because it wanted to do some snake-robics!
What do you call a reptile that plays guitar? A rock-alligator!
Why don’t snakes like math? Because they can’t multiply without a calculator!
What’s a reptile’s favorite dessert? Snake-lit pudding.
Why did the alligator bring a calculator to the swamp? Because he wanted to use his crocodile-ator!
Why was the alligator invited to the party? Because he had a reptile-ation!
Why are reptiles so good at baseball? Because they have great scales!
Why did the alligator bring a calculator to the reptile party? Because he wanted to crunch some numbers!
Why was the alligator invited to the party? Because it had a snappy sense of humor!
What did the reptile say when it got a job promotion? “Sssssssuccess!”
Why don’t snakes like playing hide-and-seek? They always end up in a hiss-terical situation!
What do you call a reptile that works in a hospital? A stethoscope-tile!
Why did the reptile bring a ladder to the party? To make sure it could reach the high scales!
Why did the alligator start a band? Because he had a lot of scales!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to climb the social “ladder”!
What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.
What’s a reptile’s favorite dessert? Snake-coil!
Why did the lizard go on a diet? Because he saw a scale.
How do you make a reptile stop biting? Just take away its toothbrush!
Why did the lizard go on a cruise? He wanted to see the reptile islands!
Why did the snake go to school? To improve his hissss-terical skills!
Why did the tortoise start a band? Because he had a slow and steady rhythm!
What do you call a snake that works as a magician? A Hiss-terious reptile!
Why don’t reptiles ever brag? Because they’re all low-key-liles!
Why did the lizard go on a diet? Because he wanted to shed a few pounds!
What do you call a reptile that tells the truth? An honest turtle!
Why was the reptile cold? It just wasn’t that amphibious!
Why did the snake go to the beach? It wanted to shed some scales!
Why did the turtle go to school? To become a smart shell-ebrity!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the party? To help him reach the chameleon!
How do you measure the length of a reptile? In inches… because they don’t have feet!
Why do lizards always know what’s going on? Because they have reptile dysfunction.
Why did the snake go on a roller coaster? It wanted to feel the rattle thrill!
Why did the snake bring a ladder to the reptile party? It wanted to make a ssssssssssssssssssssssssssocial entrance!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell gas station.
Why did the gecko go to the doctor? Because he had a lizard throat!
What’s a reptile’s favorite exercise? Lizard-licks!
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
What do you call a polite snake? A cobra-dabra!
Why did the gecko become a stand-up comedian? Because it had a great sense of reptile humor!
Why don’t snakes ever drink coffee? Because they’re always tea-sing!
What did the alligator say to the nosy reptile? Mind your own buis-s-s-ness!
What is a reptile’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!
Why did the snake become a comedian? Because it had a lot of hiss-terical jokes.
Why did the chameleon get a ticket? Because it blended in too well with the red light!
What did the snake say to the turtle? “Take it slow, we’re not in a rush.” .
Why did the reptile take a break from the internet? He had a reptile dysfunction!
What do you call a lizard that sings opera? A croc-a-dolce!
How do you make a snake laugh? Tickle its hiss-terical bone!
What do you call a reptile that sings and plays the guitar? A rock ‘n’ croc!
What do you call a reptile that’s a spy? A crocodile Dundee!
What did the turtle say to the reptile who stole its food? “You’ve shell-stopped!”

Reptile Jokes for Kids

Reptile jokes for kids are like the playful chameleons of the comedy universe—mischievous, bright, and always a favorite among the younger audience.

These jokes encourage children to engage with the idiosyncrasies of language and relish the delight of puns, cultivating an appreciation for wit that’s as enduring as these ancient creatures.

Moreover, reptile jokes for kids have the added advantage of making learning about these cold-blooded creatures an entertaining and engaging experience, transforming that lizard or turtle in their science book into a source of amusement.

Ready for some rib-tickling fun?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them laughing like a hyena over their herpetology:

Why did the turtle bring a flashlight to the party? Because he was a slow dancer!
What do you call a snake that is a great detective? Sherlock Boa!
What kind of snake can you find on the moon? A space viper!
What do you call a turtle with a smartphone? A shellphone!
What’s a crocodile’s favorite shoe? Crocs!
What do you call a reptile that’s a famous singer? A crocodile rock star!
What do you get if you cross a lizard with a porcupine? A spike-tailed creature that can give you a “prickly” hug!
What do you get if you cross a snake and a cat? A hissterical meow-pire!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals!
Why did the alligator bring a GPS on its vacation? So it could find its way ‘crocodile’ the world!
Why did the turtle bring a ladder to the party? To get to the high shell-f!
What do you call a reptile that sings and plays the piano? A croco-dile of all trades.
What did the lizard say when it lost its tail? “It’s all right, it will grow back in a reptile.” .
Why don’t turtles ever get invited to fancy parties? Because they always bring their own shell-ade!
How do turtles talk to each other? By using shell phones!
Why don’t turtles ever skip school? Because they take things slow.
Why did the alligator go to the dentist? Because it had a reptile dysfunction!
Why did the alligator bring a ladder? To reach the croc-a-dile.
What do you call a reptile that’s a math whiz? A calculator-chameleon!
What do you call a lazy alligator? A croc-a-dull!
What do you call a snake that tells funny jokes? A hissterical reptile!
What did the reptile say when he got a text message? Sssssssssssssss!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the desert? He wanted to scale the cactus!
What did the snake say to the turtle? “You’re so slow, even I can outrun you!”
What do you get if you cross a turtle and a lizard? A slow-moving reptile with a shell on its back!
What do you call a turtle that’s taking up karate? A ninja turtle!
What do you call a sleepy reptile? A croc-a-dile!
What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine? A slowpoke with a lot of pricks!
What did the alligator say after eating a clown? “That tasted funny!”
What do you get if you cross a lizard with a porcupine? A dangerous reptile!
Why do lizards always feel warm? Because they never play outside when it’s cold-blooded!
Why are alligators always so calm? Because they have lots of reptile-y!
What do you call a smart lizard? A clever chameleon!
How do you ask a snake to be your friend? “Can we slither together?”
What did the lizard say to the other lizard at the beach? I’m a sand-wizard!
Why did the turtle bring a map to the party? Because he didn’t want to shell out for a taxi!
What did the turtle say to the snail? “You’re a little too slow for me!”
Why did the turtle go to the hospital? Because he shell-ebrated too much!
What do you call a reptile that’s a singing sensation? A croco-darling!
What did the baby alligator say to the mommy alligator? “See you later, alligator!”
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
What do you call a lizard that is a famous magician? A Hocus Crocus!
What did the lizard say to the other lizard on their vacation? “Iguana get sunburned!”
What kind of snake is good at math? An adder.
What do you get if you cross a crocodile and a kangaroo? A snaparoo!
What kind of shoes do alligators wear? Crocs!
Why was the crocodile embarrassed? Because it saw the zebra crossing!
How do you make a turtle faster? Take away its shell and it becomes a race car!
Why did the reptile bring a ladder to the desert? Because it wanted to reach the sand ‘viper’!
Why are alligators always so calm? Because nothing can ruffle their scales!
Why did the reptile bring a ladder to the zoo? Because it wanted to see the snake’s eyes!
What kind of shoes do turtles wear? Slow sneakers!
Why did the lizard go on a diet? Because it had newt been watching its weight!
Why did the alligator bring a ladder to the reptile park? Because it heard the snakes were outstanding climbers!
How does a reptile send letters in the forest? By using a snake mail!
What did the reptile say when it saw a fly? Yum, it’s time for a meal!
Why did the snake go on a diet? Because it had too many scale pounds!
Why did the turtle go to space? To visit the International “Shell” Station.
What do you call a reptile that sings? A melodious gecko!
Why did the gecko go to the doctor? Because he lost his tail!
Why did the lizard go on a diet? It wanted to look slimy and trim!
What did the reptile say to the fly? Stick around, my tongue will catch up to you!
Why did the alligator bring a ladder to the reptile exhibit? Because it wanted to see the crocodile’s tears from a higher view!
What do you get if you cross a turtle and a giraffe? A turtle-neck!
What kind of snake is found on cars? A windshield viper!
What is a turtle’s favorite type of candy? Slow-pokes!
What do you call a polite alligator? A “see-you-later”!
What do you call a snake that’s a magician? A “Hiss-terical” magician.

Reptile Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t crack up at a good reptile joke?

Reptile jokes for adults add a twist of humor with an edge of wittiness, integrating refined jests with a hint of playfulness.

Just like a intriguing chameleon blend, these jokes fuse aspects of humor, wisdom, and a bit of naughtiness for a noteworthy chuckle.

These jokes are ideal for cocktail parties, wildlife-themed gatherings, or simply to add a touch of humor to a serious chat amongst friends.

Here are some reptile jokes that are sure to make any adult laugh:

What do you call a reptile that’s a big fan of math? An Adder-ligator!
Why don’t reptiles take up photography? Because they don’t like getting caught on camera!
Why did the turtle bring a computer to the party? To show off his webbed feet!
What did one snake say to the other snake at the party? “Are we venomous tonight!”
Why did the alligator get a new pair of shoes? Because his old ones were croc-ing!
Why did the turtle become a comedian? Because he wanted to crack up the audience!
Why don’t alligators like fast food? Because they can’t catch up!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the reptile party? To reach the higher scales!
Why don’t reptiles like to play hide-and-seek? They prefer to be “seen”!
Why don’t reptiles ever take a break? They’re always on the slither.
Why don’t snakes have girlfriends? They just can’t seem to find a hisster right!
What do you get if you cross a reptile with a musical instrument? A croc-and-roll band!
What do you call a reptile that’s a great detective? An Inves-tai-gator!
What’s a reptile’s favorite subject in school? Hissss-tory!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the reptile party? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Why was the alligator so good at playing poker? It had a killer “poker face”!
Why did the snake go to the dance? It heard it was a slithering good time!
Why are reptiles so good at basketball? They’re experts at “slither” dribbling!
What did the chameleon say to its crush? “You make me change colors like no other reptile.”
Why don’t reptiles gossip? Because they don’t want to get caught in a “snake-tion”!
What do you call a reptile with a great sense of humor? A stand-up chameleon!
What did the lizard say when it lost its tail? “Oh well, I’ll just have to start from scratch!”
Why do reptiles make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are too dry!
What’s a reptile’s favorite type of movie? A slithering thriller!
Why do reptiles make terrible detectives? They always lose their scales of evidence!
What did the lizard say to his friend who was feeling down? “Chin up, scales will get better!”
Why was the alligator invited to the party? It was a snap decision!
What do you call a lizard who sings and plays the guitar? A rockstar-dile!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the reptile party? To see the gecko on the roof!
Why did the alligator wear a vest? Because he wanted to look in-vest-igative!
How do reptiles send love letters? With a lot of hugging and hissing!
What did the reptile say to its friend who stole its food? “You’ve got some serious chameleon skills!”
Why do reptiles make terrible mathematicians? They can never seem to solve “adder” problems!
Why don’t reptiles like playing cards? Because they can’t hold a hand!
Why are reptiles so good at playing poker? They have a reptile dysfunction!
Why don’t reptiles like playing cards? Because they’re afraid of being caught with scales!
What did the turtle say to the rabbit? I bet I can beat you in a slow and steady race!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken, reptile behavior at its best!
How do reptiles send letters? By using their snail mail!
Why did the turtle get a job as a news reporter? It liked slow news days!
What’s a turtle’s favorite type of music? Slow jams!
Why don’t reptiles play cards in the wild? Because they’re all a bunch of cheetahs!
What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a computer? A lot of bites!
What did the reptile say to his friend who owed him money? “You’re really dragging your tail!”
Why did the lizard get in trouble at school? Because he couldn’t stop shedding his skin!
Why did the turtle go to the dance party? It wanted to show off its sick moves!
Why don’t turtles ever go to war? Because they are afraid of being shell-shocked!
Why did the gecko go to the gym? He wanted to work on his reptile dysfunction!
How do you know if a reptile is sad? It will shed crocodile tears!
What do you call a reptile that sings songs? A toad-oke artist!
Why are reptiles such good hunters? They always “slither” in silence!
What do you call a reptile that can sing opera? An alli-ga-tor!
Why was the snake always on its best behavior? It didn’t want to rattle anyone’s cage!
Why did the gecko get a ticket? It was caught speeding on the web!
What do you call a reptile that’s a fantastic dancer? A snake charmer!
What do you call a reptile that is a famous singer? A snake charmer!
How do you invite a turtle to a party? You “shell”ibrate!
Why don’t reptiles own smartphones? They can’t handle the touch screen with their scales.
Why did the snake become a detective? Because he always rattlesnake the case!
What did the snake say to the lizard when they were arguing? “Sssslither away, you’re not worth my time!”
What do you get if you cross a reptile with a detective? A private eye-guana!
Why did the frog bring a ruler to the pond? To measure its leaps and bounds!
What’s a reptile’s favorite TV show? Game of Thrones, because it’s full of dragons!
What do you call a reptile that is an excellent mathematician? An adder-tition!
Why did the alligator go to the dentist? To improve its crocodile smile!
Why did the alligator bring a GPS on its vacation? To find its way back to the swamp!
Why did the snake go on a diet? It heard it was a good way to shed some pounds!
What do you call a crocodile with a GPS? A naviga-gator!
Why don’t reptiles gamble? They prefer not to take any gecko-nances!
What do you call a reptile with a great singing voice? A croakodile!
Why did the chameleon refuse to work with the other reptiles? It had too many “scales” to attend to!
Why did the crocodile visit the bank? To get his teeth checked for proper “bite” currency!
Why do reptiles never take a break? Because they’re always on the scale!
Why don’t reptiles like to play cards in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What did the snake say when it bumped into a wall? “I’m just hiss-terical!”
Why don’t reptiles like playing cards? They’re always looking for a “newt” suit!
Why don’t reptiles ever take up stand-up comedy? They’re too dry!
What did the reptile say after it won the lottery? “I’m a reptile-aire!”
Why did the turtle go to the party? Because he heard there was going to be a shell of a time!
Why are crocodiles excellent comedians? Because they have killer timing!
Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the party? To see how tall the other reptiles are!
What did the lizard say when it got a job? “I’m just here for the moni-tail!”
Why did the snake go to the library? Because it wanted to find a good hiss-story book!
Why was the turtle so slow to confess its love? It wanted to take things at a “tortoise” pace!
What’s a reptile’s favorite game? Hide and go snake!
Why don’t reptiles become doctors? They don’t have the patients!
Why are snakes such good readers? They always stick to the paperbacks!
Why don’t turtles ever get into fights? Because they are experts in shellf-defense!
Why did the snake become a fashion designer? It knew how to slither in style!
Why did the alligator bring a suitcase to the party? Because he wanted to be a snappy dresser!
Why did the alligator bring a suitcase to the dentist? It needed to pack its “toothbrush”!
What’s a reptile’s favorite type of movie? Slithery and suspenseful thrillers!
Why don’t you ever tell secrets to reptiles? They have a lot of scales!
Why did the gecko bring a ladder to the reptile party? Because it wanted to be a high climber!
Why don’t reptiles like fast food? Because they can never catch it!
Why did the snake become a lawyer? Because it was good at hiss-terpreting laws!
What do you call a reptile that sings country music? A croc ‘n’ roll artist!

Reptile Joke Generator

Cracking a reptile joke can sometimes feel like you’re treading on thin ice, or rather, thin scales!

(See the pun there?)

This is where our FREE Reptile Joke Generator slithers in to save the day.

Engineered to weave smart puns, sharp humor, and playful phrases, it creates jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.

Don’t let your humor go extinct like the dinosaurs.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as lively and entertaining as your favorite reptiles.

FAQs About Reptile Jokes

Why are reptile jokes so popular?

Reptile jokes are popular due to their unexpected and whimsical humor.

They incorporate the unique traits and behaviors of different reptiles, resulting in jokes that are both entertaining and educational.

Plus, they appeal to all age groups making them a versatile form of humor.

Can reptile jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Reptile jokes can be a great way to break the ice, especially in gatherings where there are animal or nature enthusiasts.

They can also add a fun twist to conversations, making them more engaging and enjoyable.

How can I come up with my own reptile jokes?

Get to know different types of reptiles—their habits, their quirks, and their unique characteristics.
Reptiles have distinctive features and behaviors (e.g., shedding, hibernation, cold-blooded). Use these facts to create punchlines.
Think about the context of your joke. Is it meant to be silly, clever, or even educational? Match your humor to this tone.
Twist well-known sayings or phrases to include reptile elements.
Don’t shy away from puns and wordplay. Reptile jokes are perfect for some scaly humor!

Are there any tips for remembering reptile jokes?

Remembering reptile jokes can be easier when you associate them with experiences involving reptiles—visits to the zoo, nature documentaries, or even pet reptiles.

Associating these jokes with specific situations can make them easier to recall.