575 Transit Jokes That Take You on a Hilarious Ride

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to jump onboard the world of transit jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the express line of humor.

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the most hilarious transit jokes.

From metro merriment to bus banter, our compilation has a joke for every route of life.

So, let’s embark on this journey of transit humor, one joke at a stop.

Contents show

Transit Jokes

Transit jokes truly capture the universal experience of commuting, from the trials of traffic jams to the quirks of public transport.

These jokes aren’t just about the act of moving from one place to another, but also about the shared situations and human interactions that take place during these journeys.

Whether it’s the constant delays of a train ride, the unexpected encounters on a city bus, or the oddities observed on a cross-country road trip, transit provides endless fodder for humor.

Creating a hilarious transit joke involves tapping into the common frustrations, surprises, and sometimes, the absurdity of travel.

So whether you’re a daily commuter, a frequent flyer, or someone who simply loves a good laugh, these transit jokes are for you.

Get ready to embark on a laughter-filled journey with these transit jokes:

What’s a bus driver’s favorite kind of music? HONKy-tonk!
Why did the subway break up with its significant other? They were always on different tracks!
Why did the traffic jam get arrested? It was causing a grid-lock.
Why did the bird take a taxi instead of flying? It wanted to take a break from tweeting!
Why did the car visit the mechanic? It had a case of exhaust-ipation!
Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? Because he wanted a well-balanced meal!
Why did the car bring a jacket to the subway? It heard it had a lot of cool stops.
Why did the bus driver lose his job? He didn’t get along with his passengers, they always wanted to go their own way.
Why was the music teacher always on the bus? Because they had perfect “transit”ion skills!
Why was the calendar always running late? Because it had too many dates!
Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are two-tired!
Why did the grape stop riding the bus? It ran out of juice!
Why did the taxi break up with the bicycle? Because they had too many traffic disagreements and couldn’t find a common lane!
Why did the train go to the gym? Because it wanted to get some track-sercise!
Why did the bus driver get lost? Because she took the wrong route!
What do you call a baby locomotive? A trainee.
Why did the skeleton refuse to take the train? He had no guts!
What do you call a dog on a bus? A “puppy-cab”!
Why did the traffic light break up with the stop sign? It just couldn’t see things the same way!
Why did the bus driver get in trouble at work? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road… he kept driving everyone crazy!
Why did the bicycle fall asleep on the bus? It was two-tired to stand up!
Why was the math book always late for the bus? Because it had too many problems to solve!
What did one traffic jam say to the other traffic jam? “I’ll meet you at the intersection!”
Why did the car get a ticket? It parked itself in a no-pun zone!
What did the bus driver say to the passenger who couldn’t find a seat? Don’t worry, we’ll get you there standing ovation!
What did the pedestrian say to the car? “I have the right of way, you know!”
Why did the train sit down at the table? It wanted to have a locomotive.
What do you call a bus that tells jokes? A pun-lic transportation!
Why did the bus driver bring a ladder? In case they needed to “climb aboard” the high bus fares!
Why did the chicken cross the road on the subway? To prove she wasn’t chicken!
Why did the chicken cross the road on a unicycle? To prove that it could balance its transit options!
Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because he needed some transportation for his corny jokes!
Why did the soccer ball go to the library? It wanted to get its kicks on paper.
Why did the taxi driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t find a fare way to drive.
Why did the train attend therapy? It had a lot of track-related issues!
Why did the commuter bring a ladder on the train? Because they heard the fare was going up.
What’s the difference between a musician and a bus driver? One conducts and the other drives everyone nuts!
Why did the taxi driver get a ticket? He couldn’t keep his meter to himself.
What’s the difference between a transit bus and a dentist? The bus knows when to stop grinding!
What’s the favorite transit of computers? The bus!
Why did the train attendants lose their jobs? They couldn’t keep track!
Why did the road cross the chicken? To show it wasn’t a chicken crossing the road.
Why did the train conductor go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw a lot of attention.
What did the traffic sign say to the car? Don’t look now, I’m changing!
Why did the taxi driver become a comedian? Because he always knew how to drive people to laughter!
What do you call a transportation method that only moves backward? A reverse-etrain!
Why did the transit map go to therapy? It had too many emotional connections!
What do you call a bus full of singers? A transit choir!
Why did the subway riders start a band? Because they heard it was a great way to get underground.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
Why did the train break up with its partner? It felt like it was always being railroaded.
Why did the commuter bring a ladder onto the train? Because they heard it had a high fare!
Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t make ends meet!
What do you call a transit system for dogs? The bark and ride.
What’s a bus driver’s favorite song? “Don’t Stop Believin'” by Journey!
Why did the car get a job at the bakery? It kneaded the dough!
Why did the taxi driver keep losing races? Because he always took the wrong turn.
Why did the train attend therapy? It had too many locomotives!
Why did the taxi driver start eating his steering wheel? He heard it was a quick pick-me-up!
Why did the train sit on a couch? It needed to locomote!
Why was the math book always on time for the bus? Because it had plenty of decimals.
Why did the train go to the music concert? It had great tracks!
What do you call a pig that does karate on the subway? Pork chop.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack waiting for the bus? An abdominal snowman.
Why did the passenger bring a ladder on the train? Because they heard they needed to climb aboard.
Why did the taxi driver get a dental crown? He wanted to have cab-ivories!
What do you call a car that’s gone bad? A lemonade!
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
What did the bus driver say to the overly chatty passenger? Don’t make me “bus-t” out my earplugs!
Why did the banana go to the train station? Because it heard it had appealing trains!
What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on, hop off!
Why did the car’s engine go to the dentist? It had a bad transmission!
Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because he needed a ride home from the cornfield.
Why did the GPS get into a fight with the map? They couldn’t find common directions!
Why did the duck get on the bus? To quack up the other passengers!
Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t find the right route to success!
What did the train conductor say to the dining car? “Lunch is on me!”
Why did the passenger get kicked off the train? He had too many loco-motives.
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going off a cliff? A shame. It could have been an empty bus.

Short Transit Jokes

Short transit jokes are like a spontaneous detour on a familiar route – unexpected, surprising, and remarkably refreshing.

These jokes are perfect for quick text messages, social media posts, or that moment on a long journey when everyone could use a good laugh.

The magic of short transit jokes lies in their ability to take mundane travel scenarios and transform them into moments of laughter, all within a few words.

So buckle up, hold on tight, and prepare for a hilarious ride.

Here are short transit jokes that deliver a rapid-fire punchline faster than your morning commute.

What do you call a monkey that rode the bus? A chimpion!
Why do buses make great comedians? They always have good punchlines!
What do you call a transit system for chickens? A cluck-trolley!
What do you call a transit system that plays guitar? A metro-gnome!
Why did the scarecrow take the bus? He needed some fresh hay!
Why don’t vampires go to barbers? They prefer to have bat-ter hair!
What do you call a dog on public transportation? A passenger!
Why did the taxi driver lose his job? He couldn’t hack it!
Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings!
What’s a train’s favorite type of music? Track and roll!
What do you call a train that’s gone off the tracks? Dis-trained!
What did the car say to the motorcycle? Stop hogging the road!
What do you call a transit system for cats? A purr-blic transportation!
Why did the ghost ride the elevator? To lift its spirits!
What’s a train’s favorite meal? Engine-ine and cheese!
Why did the train sit down at the station? It was locomotivated!
Why did the belt go to jail? It was holding up traffic!
Why did the airplane become a musician? It had perfect “flute” control!
What do you call a train carrying bubble gum? A chew-chew train!
What’s a train’s favorite song? “Locomotion” by Kylie Minogue!
What do you call a group of musical commuters? A jam band!
Why do buses make great detectives? They always have their eyes peeled!
Why don’t skeletons ride bicycles? They’ve lost their nerves!
What’s a pirate’s favorite mode of transportation? A ship, matey!
Why do cows make great passengers? They always MOOve over!
Why did the scarecrow take public transit? He needed a brain transfer!
What do you call a train that sneezes? The “choo-choo” train!
What do you call a transit app for cows? Moo-ber!
Why was the airplane arrested? It was caught smuggling luggage!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
Why did the scarecrow take public transit? Because it’s hay-venly!
Why don’t bicycles stand up on their own? They’re two-tired!
What do you call a bus that can drive underwater? A sub-urban!
What do you call a transit system for insects? Bug routes!
What’s a cyclist’s favorite type of transportation? Two-tired!
Why was the bus driver arrested? He got caught steering while impaired!
What do you call a bus full of lawyers? A lawsuit!

Transit Jokes One-Liners

Transit jokes one-liners can truly be the expressway to laughter in your daily routine.

Just like the hustle and bustle of transit, these jokes are quick, spontaneous, and have the power to make the journey of your day a little more enjoyable.

Crafting these one-liners requires a deep understanding of the everyday humour that lies in our commutes, a knack for timing, and an appreciation for the art of concise storytelling.

The challenge is to squeeze the journey and destination into a brief, humorous observation, delivering a good laugh in the shortest time possible.

So, fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a joy ride of humour with these transit one-liners:

I asked the bus driver if he had change for a dollar, and he replied, “Sorry, I’m not a bank on wheels.”
I tried to catch the ferry, but it waved goodbye.
I’m so bad at directions that even when using GPS, I manage to take the wrong bus.
I asked the bus driver if he ever takes shortcuts, he replied, “Only when I miss my exit.”
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired from commuting to work every day!
I just got a ticket for riding the subway without a train ticket.
My doctor told me I needed more exercise, so now I walk to the bus stop instead of waiting for the bus.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I work on the subway instead.
I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
My train of thought has left the station without me.
The only thing that moves faster than the subway is the person sitting next to you who hasn’t showered in a week.
I don’t always take public transit, but when I do, it’s because my car broke down again.
I asked the taxi driver to take me to the wildest party in town, and he dropped me off at the library.
Why did the train go to the doctor? It had trainnesia – it couldn’t remember where it was going!
I asked the bus driver if he could take me to the moon, but he said his route only goes downtown.
I’ve been taking public transportation so long, I practically have a PhD in subway delays.
I just realized I’m a frequent flyer on the struggle bus.
I asked a taxi driver if he accepts teleportation as payment, he just gave me a confused look.
Why did the transit engineer bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to reach new heights!
I tried taking a bus to work but it only drove me crazy.
I was going to make a joke about transit, but I missed my connection.
I bought a new pair of shoes with wheels on them. Now I’m training for the Olympics in track-and-roll!
I have a love-hate relationship with transit delays, on one hand, I get to read more, but on the other hand, I have to find creative ways to convince my boss that “train traffic” is a legitimate excuse for being late.
I asked the train conductor if this was my stop, and he replied, “No, we’re still in the middle of the ocean.”
Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard it was a great way to get a little straw-ling!
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems, just like the transit system.
I accidentally boarded the wrong train and ended up in a town that didn’t even have Wi-Fi, it was like being transported back to the Stone Age.
I asked the bus driver if he had change for a dollar, and he said, “Sure, it’s your lucky day, I’ve got 93 cents.”
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
I asked the train conductor if this train goes to my destination. He said, “If it doesn’t, just follow the crowd and act like you know what you’re doing.”
I asked the bus driver if he could take me to the nearest station. He replied, “I’m sorry, I’m not a train conductor, I can’t take you there.”
Why did the transit bus break up with the transit train? It just wasn’t their locomotive.
When someone says they’re just “five minutes away,” add an hour and a half for accurate transit time calculations.
I tried to catch the bus, but it drove right past me. I guess it wasn’t my “transit” day.
My friend got a job as a transit driver, but he couldn’t handle the commute.
I used to think I had a good sense of direction until I tried using a GPS while walking, now I just follow the herd and hope for the best.
Why did the passenger get kicked off the train? Because they were being a pain in the caboose!
Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard the cornfield was a-maize-ing!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the traffic jam break up? It couldn’t find a way to move forward… it was just too tense!
I asked my GPS for directions, and it said, “In 400 feet, turn left.” I’m not falling for that one again!
Why did the bus driver get lost? Because they took the wrong route and couldn’t find their way back on track!
I wanted to take a taxi to work, but my bank account said, “You’re going to have to Uber it.” .
Why did the ghost ride the bus? Because it didn’t feel like walking… it preferred to boooo-ze!
I accidentally got on the wrong bus and ended up in a different city. Good thing my sense of direction is terrible, or I might have noticed sooner.
I went to the train station and asked the attendant if I could buy a ticket to Paris. He said, “Sir, this is a subway station.” I replied, “In that case, I’ll have a footlong!”
Taking the bus is a great way to learn new languages, especially the ones spoken by the person loudly arguing on their phone.
I asked the bus driver if he had change for a dollar, but he said it’s against his fare principles.
I asked the bus driver if he ever gets tired of driving the same route every day. He said, “I’ve got it down to a ‘bus’iness!”
I asked the train conductor if this was my stop, but he just shrugged and said, “I’m not sure, let me ask the GPS.”
I thought I saw my bus approaching, but it was just my imagination running on schedule.
I’m so bad at directions, I once got lost in my own driveway.
Why did the transit worker bring a ladder to work? In case they needed to reach the high notes on the subway.
What’s the difference between a conductor and a locomotive? One minds the train, and the other trains the mind!
I once fell asleep on the subway and woke up to find my fellow passengers had kindly drawn a mustache on my face, it’s nice to know they were thinking about my grooming needs.
I tried to save time by taking a shortcut, but it turned out to be a detour through confusion and frustration.
I tried to catch the train, but it kept outrunning me. Guess I’m not cut out for track and field events.
Why did the transit system get tired of the city? It was always getting taken for a ride!
I always take the scenic route to avoid getting stuck in traffic… on the treadmill.
My love life is like public transportation, it never arrives on time.
I tried to make my car more eco-friendly by putting leaves on it, but it didn’t quite turn into a hybrid.
If you think rush hour traffic is bad, you should try walking behind someone texting at a snail’s pace.
I accidentally joined a marathon while running to catch the bus.
I’m convinced that my car is allergic to petrol because it always sneezes when I fill it up.
I asked my taxi driver if he had any music to play. He handed me a cassette tape and said, “Sure, it’s called ‘Traffic Jams’.”
I always find it funny how people on the subway try to avoid eye contact, it’s like we’re all playing an intense game of “Don’t Blink”
I asked the conductor if this train stops at insanity. He replied, “No, this is the express train.”
They say the journey is more important than the destination, which is great because the bus driver just missed my stop. Again.
I got hit by a car once. It was a Transit van.
My car broke down on the highway, so I had to hitchhike. I learned the hard way that not all truck drivers are friendly.
I don’t always take public transportation, but when I do, I make sure to bring my own entertainment… like a magnifying glass to inspect fellow passengers.
I got kicked off the train for having an inappropriate conversation… It was a one-track mind.
I used to be a bus driver, but I got tired of people asking me if they could drive the bus.
I was going to tell a joke about public transit, but I always get stuck in traffic.
I got kicked off the subway for trying to start a flash mob dance party.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field… of public transportation.
I missed my flight because I thought “gate” meant “gateau” and went looking for cake instead.
I used to have a fear of speed bumps, but I slowly got over it.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the transit fare and got embarrassed.
Why did the bicycle fall asleep? It was two-tired to keep going!
My car broke down on the highway, so I had to hitchhike with a group of clowns. It was a circus on wheels!
I saw a squirrel using the underground subway. It said it was tired of the “nutty” traffic!
I thought I was on a roller coaster, but it turned out to be a bumpy bus ride.
I thought I could save time by taking a shortcut, but it ended up being a longcut.
I told my friend I couldn’t decide whether to take the train or the bus. He said, “Just take the tran-bus!”
I’ve mastered the art of looking busy on public transit by aggressively scrolling through my phone without actually doing anything.
I tried taking the bus, but I couldn’t find the right track. Turns out, it was a different kind of bus!
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
My friend asked me if I could give him a lift to the train station. I replied, “Sure, if you can fit into my pocket!”
I saw a sign that said “Airport Left,” so I turned around and went home.
I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I take the bus to get it.
I asked the bus driver if he could take me to the moon, he replied, “Sorry, the fare is astronomical.”
Why did the plane go to the dentist? It had a little turbulence!
The best thing about riding the subway is realizing that you’re never truly alone with all the interesting conversations happening around you.
I saw a sign on the subway that said, “Watch the gap,” so I stopped exercising.
I’m convinced my GPS has a sense of humor. It always tells me to turn around when I’m on a one-way street.
I don’t trust stairs, they’re always up to something.
Why did the transit system hire a comedian? To make sure everyone had a good commute-lity.
I was so late for work that I rode a unicycle in the bike lane to bypass traffic.
I’m so good at parallel parking, I can fit my car into a non-existent spot.
I thought I was on the Hogwarts Express, but it turns out it was just a regular train with a lot of Harry Potter fans.
Why did the pencil refuse to ride the train? It didn’t want to be a “lead” weight!
I accidentally got on a train going the wrong way. I guess you could say I’m really going off track.
I hate it when I’m on the subway and someone sits next to me, breathing all my air.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
My love life is like public transit, always running late and full of unexpected delays.
I bought a map of the local bus routes, but it wasn’t very helpful. It just kept saying, “You are here… for a really long time.”
I asked the train conductor if there was Wi-Fi on board. He replied, “I don’t know, we’ve never stopped long enough for me to check.”
I tried to take a nap on the bus, but every time I closed my eyes, someone would wake me up to tell me it’s their stop.
Why do buses never go to school? Because they already have too many stops.
Why did the chicken cross the road twice? Because it missed the bus the first time!
What do you get when you cross a transit system with a computer? A bus full of glitches.
Why did the bus driver get a medal? Because he was tired of being bus-ted for his driving skills.
I tried to catch a taxi, but it kept outrunning me.
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough, so I decided to take a different route and become a bus driver.
I tried to catch a taxi, but it was too fast, it drove right past me like I was a pedestrian or something.
They say patience is a virtue, but have they ever tried waiting for a delayed subway train?
I asked the train conductor if this was the express. He replied, “No, it’s the locomotive.”
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
I was going to tell a joke about buses, but I missed my stop.
I’m convinced that traffic lights have a secret competition to see who can make me wait the longest.
I told my car it needed a break, so it took me to the nearest bus stop.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it… one bump at a time.
I’m so bad at directions that I once got lost on an escalator.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough, so I started driving a taxi.
I love how public transportation brings people from all walks of life together, mainly because it’s the only way I can witness a heated argument between a businessman and a pigeon.
Why did the car’s engine go to school? To get a little auto-motive-tion!
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud, because it’s faster than public transit.
I don’t always take public transit, but when I do, I make sure to sit next to the person eating the smelliest food.
I’m so bad at directions, even my GPS tells me to turn around and go home.
They say time flies when you’re having fun, but it seems to crawl when you’re waiting for the bus.
Why did the astronaut take a taxi to the space station? Because the parking was “astronomical”!
If you want to be punctual, take the train. You might be late, but at least you’ll have an excuse.
I tried to ride a unicycle on a crowded street, but it was just a one-way ticket to embarrassment.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing on the side of the road.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
I’m like a transit system, always running late and leaving people waiting.
I tried to take a shortcut on my commute, but I ended up in a cow pasture.
What do you call a transit system that only goes backward? A “regress bus”
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around. Now I’m addicted to public transit.
I once tried to catch a train, but it kept running away from me.
I tried to catch some fog yesterday, but I mist!
I once missed my stop on the bus because I was too engrossed in a book about public transportation.
My friend asked me if I wanted to join a carpool. I replied, “Sure, as long as we can car-swim.”
I used to hate public transit, but then I got on board with it.
Why did the traffic light break up with the stop sign? Because it thought the sign was too controlling.

Transit Dad Jokes

Transit dad jokes are the hilarious fusion of public transportation quips and the timeless charm of dad humor.

They’re the type of jokes that will make you roll your eyes, but at the same time, you won’t be able to resist a chuckle.

These jokes are perfect for long commutes, dinner table chatter, or simply for a good, hearty laugh.

Get ready for a fun ride of puns and laughter.

Here are some transit dad jokes that will surely get you on board:

Why don’t traffic signs ever go on vacation? Because they’re always on the go!
Why do trains never worry about money? They always stay on track.
Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it was embarrassed to see the pedestrians running faster than the cars!
Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the bus? Because it saw the traffic jam ahead!
Why don’t cars and bikes make good friends? Because they have too many arguments about who has the right of way!
Why did the scarecrow become a bus driver? Because he was outstanding in his field of transit!
Why did the astronaut take the bus to space? Because it couldn’t find a parking spot for its spaceship!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.
What do you call a transit planner who can play the guitar? A bus-ted musician!
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why do buses never trust the ocean? It has too many waves!
What do you call a bear with no teeth waiting for the bus? A gummy bear!
Why did the train go to the art museum? Because it had a locomotive!
Why did the banana take the train instead of the bus? It didn’t want to split!
Why did the taxi driver never become a chef? Because he couldn’t find a parking spot to ketchup on his skills!
Why did the bus driver bring a ladder to work? In case he needed to climb up the career ladder!
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
Why don’t skeletons ride bicycles? They don’t have the guts for it!
Why did the bicycle fall asleep on the subway? It was tired of pedaling!
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus and needed to be refreshed!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
What do you call a bus that can’t stop telling jokes? A comedian-tripper!
Why did the plane go to school? It wanted to become a high-flyer!
Why did the music conductor get on the subway? He heard it was the best place to conduct himself!
Why do bees have sticky hair on the bus? Because they use honeycombs.
Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, they kept going rolling in their sockets.
What do you call a group of unorganized buses? A bus-tle!
Why did the football team go on a field trip? Because they needed a coach!
Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, he was busy steering at the passengers!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym together? Because some relationships don’t work out.
Why did the train conductor become a banker? He wanted to make some track-changes!
Why did the bus driver get a traffic ticket? Because he couldn’t keep his passengers under control!
What do you call a dinosaur that uses public transportation? A Tyrannosaurus flex!
Why did the taxi driver get a degree in history? So he could always take his passengers on a trip down memory lane!
Why do cows make great transit conductors? Because they always know how to “moo-ve” the passengers!
Why did the transit system start a band? Because it had a lot of traffic jams!
Why did the baby stroller take the train? It wanted to start rolling independently!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear on public transit!
Why did the train conductor always carry a shovel? In case there was a train wreck, he could dig himself out.
Why did the train attend therapy? It had some serious track issues!
Why don’t skeletons take the subway? Because they have no-body to go with!
Why did the bus driver get a promotion? Because they were tireless in their work!
Why did the car bring a spoon on the train? In case it wanted to have a little carpool.
Why did the traffic light go on a diet? It wanted to shed a few pounds!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Why did the computer take the subway? It wanted a byte to eat!
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-deer (no idea).
Why do buses never go on vacation? They can’t find the right time to leave!
Why did the math book take the bus? It wanted to learn about the roots of quadratic equations!
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change!
Why did the ghost ride the bus? Because it had no-body to haunt!
Why don’t aliens visit our planet? No space for parking.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Why do buses never get lonely? Because they always seem to have a lot of company at the bus stop!
Why did the scarecrow take public transit? Because it wanted to ride the hay-way!
Why don’t bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired.
What do you call a transit vehicle with a cold? A sneeze bus!
Why did the car bring a map to the amusement park? Because it wanted to make sure it had a good ride!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why did the scarecrow take public transportation? Because he didn’t have any brains to drive a car!
Why did the train go to the doctor? It had a case of locomotive-itis!
Why did the train conductor become a magician? He wanted to perform disappearing tracks!
Why did the man put his money in the blender before getting on the bus? He wanted to make some liquid assets!
Why did the transit system hire a musician? Because he had a great track record!
Why do buses make good musicians? Because they have their own horns.
Why don’t trains make good detectives? Because they always follow the same tracks.
Why did the train conductor go to art school? Because he wanted to master the art of locomotion!
What do you call a dinosaur that crashed its car? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Why did the math book take the subway? It wanted to solve some equations on the go!
What’s a bus driver’s favorite song? “The Wheels on the Bus” of course!
Why did the traffic jam break up? Because it wasn’t working out, they had too many car-issues!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including public transportation schedules!
Why did the music conductor ride the bus instead of the train? Because he wanted to be able to orchestrate the traffic!
Why don’t ants use public transit? Because they prefer to take their own ant-omobile.
What do you call a kangaroo that boards a plane? A hop-on, hop-off passenger!
Why did the train attendants all go to acting school? Because they had great track records!
Why did the scarecrow take public transit? Because he needed a ride to the corn field!
Why did the belt get arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it couldn’t find its balance!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
Why did the scarecrow take public transportation? Because he heard it was cornvenient.
Why do buses never trust the local bakery? Because they always loaf around!
Why did the bike go to therapy? Because it was tired of being a cycle path!
Why did the road get an award? Because it was always going the extra mile!
Why did the train go to the beach? To get some “sand-wiches”!
What do you call a bus that sings? A tuneful bus!
Why did the transit inspector become a gardener? Because he wanted to weed out any problems on the bus route!
Why do trains make terrible magicians? They always disappear at track speed!
Why don’t buses ever make good comedians? They always miss their stops.
Why did the pedestrian go to the optometrist? To improve their street vision!
Why did the math book take the bus? It wanted to multiply and divide with other books!
What do you call a bus full of lawyers that goes off a cliff? A good start!
Why did the football team take the bus instead of the plane? They wanted a good ground game!
Why did the golfer take the subway? Because he lost his drive.

Transit Jokes for Kids

Transit jokes for kids are the goofy, animated characters of the joke world—funny, educational, and always a hit among the youngsters.

These jokes stimulate children to engage with their surroundings and comprehend the humor in everyday situations, nurturing a love for laughter that’s as exciting as a city bus ride.

Furthermore, transit jokes for kids have the added bonus of making learning about transportation enjoyable, transforming that morning car ride or school bus trip into a source of chuckles.

So, are you ready to get this laughter ride moving?

Here are some jokes that will have them chuckling in the backseat or giggling at the bus stop:

What do you call a bus with a broken leg? An impossibus!
Why did the train sit on the computer? It wanted to track its progress!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
Why did the car bring an umbrella? Because it heard it was going to rain gas!
What has wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
Why did the train go to outer space? To visit the milky way station!
Why did the car bring a raincoat? Because it heard it was going to be a few showers!
How do cars stay cool during the summer? They roll down their windows!
What do you call a car that can do magic tricks? A hocus-pocus coupe!
What kind of car does a sheep drive? A Lamborghini!
Why did the car bring a raincoat? In case it started to mist.
Why did the bus break up with its girlfriend? It wanted to be a lone-ranger!
Why did the race car driver get a ticket? Because they were speeding at the races!
What’s a car’s favorite type of music? Brake-dancing!
Why did the airplane go to school? It wanted to improve its “fly”ing skills!
Why did the bus driver carry a red umbrella? In case it started to rain cats and double-deckers!
Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t find his way around the roundabout!
Why did the racecar go to school? To get ahead in traffic class!
Why don’t bicycles stand up by themselves? Because they are two-tired!
Why did the tomato turn red while waiting for the train? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the airplane go to the library? It wanted to check out some fly reads!
Why did the spaceship stop at the gas station? To fill up on rocket fuel!
What do you call a train that eats too much? A chow-chew train!
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends.
What do you call a sheep riding a tricycle? A woolly jumper!
Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it was tired of always being green!
What do you get when you cross a plane and a car? A flying car-pet!
Why did the kid take a ladder onto the bus? Because they heard it was a double-decker!
Why did the car bring a pencil and paper to the race? It wanted to draw the finish line!
Why did the kangaroo take the bus? Because it didn’t want to hop all the way!
What kind of vehicle has a lot of stories? A school bus!
Why did the airplane bring a map? It wanted to be a flying navigator!
Why did the airplane get in trouble at school? It couldn’t stop making jet noises.
What do you call a snowman with a car? A frost-mobile.
Why did the stop sign bring a ladder? Because it wanted to reach new heights in traffic safety!
What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud! Let’s hop on the train and go for a ride!
What did the bus driver say to the frog? Hop on, we’re going on a ribbity adventure!
What do you call a sleeping bus? A napmobile.
Why did the school bus get a bad report card? It couldn’t make it past the stop sign!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other on public transport? Because they don’t have the guts!
What do you call a car that can swim? A motorboat!
What do you call a bicycle built by a chemist? A carbon cycle!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of always being passed by the bus!
What did the skateboard say to the rollerblades? Let’s roll together!
What do you call a bus with a broken engine? A car-pool!
What did the bus driver say to the frog? Hop on, we’ll croak-er you to school!
What do you get if you cross a car and a boat? A traffic jam on the water.
What do you call a car that can’t stop talking? An exhaust pipe!
What did the taxi driver say to the wolf? Where wolf you like to go today?
Why don’t oysters donate to public transportation? Because they are shell-fish!
Why did the boat go to school? It wanted to learn how to become a ferry-good captain!
What do you call a bus driver with a cold? A chauffeur!
Why did the fish blush while swimming? It saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why did the car go to the doctor? Because it had a bad transmission!
What do you call a dog riding a bike? A pedaling pup!
Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming? Because they take too long to change!
Why did the pencil bring a ladder to school? It wanted to be a high achiever!
Why did the snail ride on the turtle’s back? Because it wanted a slow and steady transit!
What do you get if you cross a bicycle and a flower? Bicycle petals!
Why did the taxi driver get a good report card? Because he always went the extra mile!
How does a train eat? It goes chew, chew!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it and take it for a ride on the train!
Why did the car bring a blanket to the party? In case it got chilly!
What did the traffic cone say to the car? Cone on, let’s have some fun!
Why did the car bring a ladder to the supermarket? To reach the top shelf oil cans!
What do you call a monster who loves public transportation? A fright train!
Why did the scarecrow take public transportation? Because it didn’t have any brains of its own!
What is a car’s favorite type of music? Honky-tonk!
Why did the rocket take a nap? It needed a little space!
What do you call a cat riding a bus? A fur-st class passenger!
Why did the traffic jam? Because it had too many commuters trying to tell jokes!
What do you call a bus that can fly? A magic school bus.
Why did the taxi driver win an award? Because they had a great driving record!
Why did the car go to the beach? Because it wanted to get a tan.
Why did the teddy bear never ride the bus? Because he was stuffed!
Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it saw the car coming!
What did the traffic jam say to the car? “I’ve got you surrounded, give up and come quietly!”
Why did the airplane bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to reach new heights!
Why did the train take a nap? It was exhausted!
What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor!
Why did the fire truck bring a ladder to the bar? Because it heard the drinks were on the house.
Why did the pilot bring a ladder to the airport? Because they heard the prices were sky-high!
What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork-chop!
Why did the train go to school? To get a little engine-ering education!
What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop, don’t look! I’m changing!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What did the traffic jam say to the annoyed driver? “I’ve got you surrounded, so don’t move a wheel!”
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired from all the transit jokes!
What do you call a train loaded with bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
Why did the taxi driver take a break? He was exhausted from driving people crazy!

Transit Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t have a good chuckle over transit jokes?

Transit jokes for adults elevate humor to the next level, seamlessly merging sophisticated wit with a hint of playfulness.

Just like a well-timed metro, these jokes pair elements of comedy, intelligence, and a sprinkle of mischief for a truly hilarious ride.

These jokes are the perfect ice-breakers for cocktail parties, corporate gatherings, or even just to break up the monotony of a long commute.

Here are some transit jokes that will keep adults entertained during rush hour and beyond:

Why was the bus driver grumpy? Because he had too many people bugging him!
Why did the bus driver start a music band? He wanted to hit the road with his own rhythm!
Why did the bus driver get arrested? For stealing everyone’s hearts with his smile!
Why did the traffic light break up with the stop sign? It just wanted some space!
Why did the taxi refuse to pick up the mathematician? They were afraid they would get multiplied by the fare!
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street all day!
Why was the taxi driver always so calm? Because they knew how to go with the flow!
Why did the transit cop become a comedian? He wanted to make people laugh while checking tickets!
What do you call a transit system that’s always in a hurry? A “rush” hour!
Why did the train conductor become a stand-up comedian? He had a lot of locomotive!
Why did the bus driver lose his job? He didn’t look both ways before crossing the street… in reverse!
Why did the airplane break up with the runway? It said it needed some “space”!
Why did the traffic cone go to the doctor? It had a lot of cones!
Why did the passenger bring a ladder onto the bus? To reach the high fares!
What did the bicycle say to the car? Can you give me a lift?
Why don’t trees ever use public transportation? Because they prefer to branch out on their own!
Why did the bus have such a great sense of humor? It always knew how to “drive” people crazy!
Why did the train conductor become a comedian? Because he had a good track record for making people laugh!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To catch the bus to the other side!
Why did the pedestrian bring a ladder to the crosswalk? To take steps towards his goals!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the traffic light change to green!
Why did the commuter bring a ladder on the bus? To reach the high notes in the overhead announcements!
Why did the taxi driver always carry a map? Because he wanted to “navigate” all the right routes!
What do you call a group of musical buses? A fleetwood Mac!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…even though he had no car!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the pedestrian crossing!
Why did the transit system hire a comedian? To make all the commuters laugh away their frustrations!
Why did the transit system go to therapy? It had major issues with commitment and always missed its stops!
Why did the pedestrian break up with their car? It was driving them crazy!
Why did the taxi driver break up with his partner? Because they just couldn’t merge on the same route!
What do you call a transit system that’s always late? A slow-mo-tive!
Why did the train become an actor? It had a lot of tracks to learn!
Why did the motorcycle go to school? It wanted to get revved up for higher education!
Why did the commuter bring a spoon on the train? In case they got bored and wanted to stir up trouble!
Why did the commuter bring a ladder on the train? In case they wanted to climb the social ladder!
Why did the traffic light turn red? It was blushing from all the honking!
Why did the car break up with the train? It found someone more locomotive!
Why did the car break up with the bus? It didn’t like the way it was steering!
What do you call a bus driver who can’t drive? A pedestrian!
Why did the passenger on the train bring a ladder? They heard the fare was going up, so they wanted to climb to the top of the fare hike!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…of public transportation!
Why did the traveler refuse to ride the hot air balloon? It wasn’t her air fare!
Why did the train conductor lose his job? He couldn’t keep track of time!
Why did the subway passenger start a dance party on the platform? They wanted to make waiting for the train more entertaining and beat the boredom!
What did the traffic say to the impatient driver? “I’m sorry, but I’m going to make you wait for it!”
Why did the train attend therapy? It had too many tracks running through its mind!
Why did the bus driver become an actor? Because he wanted to take his career on the “road”!
Why did the pedestrian bring a pillow to the crosswalk? To have a soft landing in case of a hit and run!
Why did the bus driver lose his job? Because he couldn’t “steer” the company in the right direction!
Why was the taxi driver a great comedian? He always had great “street” jokes!
Why was the bus driver arrested? He couldn’t control his road rage!
Why do buses always arrive late to the party? They always get stuck in the car-park!
Why did the car bring a ladder to the train station? It heard the fare was too high!
Why did the train conductor always carry a spoon? In case he needed to train stop!
Why did the bus driver get a sunburn? Because he had too many fares!
Why did the scarecrow take the bus? Because it heard it was a real “hay” ride!
Why did the passenger bring a ladder on the bus? Because they heard it was a high-speed service!
Why did the taxi driver quit their job? They couldn’t handle all the backseat drivers anymore!
Why did the bus driver get lost? He lost his bearings!
Why did the taxi driver quit his job? He couldn’t get the fare!
Why did the math textbook take the bus to work? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own!
Why did the scarecrow take the bus to work? He heard it was a good way to get a-head!
What is a transit cop’s favorite type of music? Traffic jams!
Why do buses never get invited to parties? They always make too many stops!
Why did the train get a ticket? Because it was a locomotive!
Why did the commuter get in trouble with their boss? They couldn’t stop training for the marathon during office hours!
Why did the transit ticket go to therapy? It had too many issues to deal with!
Why did the train conductor become a stand-up comedian? Because he always had great tracksuits!
Why did the math textbook take the bus? It wanted to solve for X, but it got stuck in traffic!
Why did the transit system break up with its partner? It said they were always going in different directions!
Why did the taxi driver become a stand-up comedian? He just couldn’t drive without making people laugh!
Why did the bus driver get arrested? He couldn’t stop hitting on the brake!
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A transit system!
Why did the taxi driver always carry a map? Because he couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag!
Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t stop talking about his route!
Why did the taxi driver get into politics? He thought he could steer the country in the right direction!
Why did the taxi driver get fired? He couldn’t make enough green!
What do you call an empty bus? Desperate for passengers!
Why did the bus driver invite the ghost to ride along? Because he needed someone to scare off the passengers who didn’t pay!
Why was the traffic light feeling down? It just wasn’t seeing green anymore!
Why did the train get a good report card? Because it had a lot of locomotion!
Why did the subway stop searching for a partner? It wanted to stay single-tracked!
Why did the subway chicken cross the tracks? To prove it wasn’t chicken at all!
Why did the subway get a promotion? It was always on the right track!
Why was the bus driver always so calm? They knew how to stay in the right lane!
Why did the commuter get kicked off the subway? He couldn’t keep his cool and started steaming up the windows!
Why was the traffic light feeling blue? It had too many red signals!
What do you call a group of musical subway conductors? A symphony of delays!
Why did the taxi driver get a PhD? He wanted to be a street-smart scholar!
Why did the train attendants start a band? Because they had a lot of tracksuits!
Why did the taxi driver get arrested? He was caught stealing fares!
Why was the bicycle lying down? It was two-tired!
Why did the train conductor always carry a ladder? So he could reach the high notes when he sang to passengers!
Why did the transit planner go broke? Because he lost his fare!
Why did the airplane become a stand-up comedian? It liked to land jokes!
Why did the transit bus get a ticket? It didn’t stay in its lane, it kept changing routes!
Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it wanted to “stop” and reflect on its life!
What did the traffic cop say to the speeding car? You’re driving me crazy!
Why did the car break up with the bicycle? It couldn’t handle the two-tired relationship!
Why did the commuter carry a suitcase full of snacks on the train? They wanted to prepare for a long journey and avoid getting “hangry”!
Why did the train conductor go to therapy? He had too many tracks on his mind!
Why did the car get a promotion? It was always driven and never parked!
Why did the traffic jam go to therapy? It had a lot of bottlenecks in its life!
Why was the math book always late for the bus? Because it couldn’t solve the equation of time!
What do you call a dog on the side of the road? A lost and hound!
Why did the train conductor bring a broom? They wanted to sweep passengers off their feet with their smooth announcements!
Why did the airplane bring a parachute to the party? It wanted to make an entrance!
Why did the car go to therapy? Because it had too many “exhausting” issues!
Why did the subway conductor become a magician? He wanted to make delays disappear!
Why did the bus driver get arrested? He couldn’t make a complete stop at a bus stop without “pulling over” the line!
Why did the subway musician become famous? He had great subway tracks!
Why did the commuter train win an award? It always stayed on track!
Why did the commuter always carry a ladder on the bus? In case they needed to reach the next level!
Why did the bus break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the constant stops and starts!
Why did the bus driver get a traffic ticket? They forgot to signal when they made a turn for the worse!
Why did the bus driver get a ticket? Because they couldn’t keep their passengers in line!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
Why did the bus driver get into a fight? He lost his cool and was tired of getting taken for a ride!
Why did the pedestrian bring a ladder to the bus stop? To reach the high-level buses!
Why do bus drivers never get lost? Because they always take the right turn!
Why did the train always have great parties? Because it had a loco-motive!
Why did the scarecrow take the bus to work? Because his boss told him to “get a-head” in his career!

Transit Joke Generator

Navigating the humor landscape can be trickier than a rush-hour commute.

(Do you catch my drift?)

That’s where our FREE Transit Joke Generator comes in to take the driver’s seat.

Tailored to combine witty puns, on-the-move humor, and delightful wordplay, it designs jokes that are sure to drive laughter.

Don’t let your humor get stuck in traffic.

Use our joke generator to produce jokes that are as lively and entertaining as your daily commute.

FAQs About Transit Jokes

Why are transit jokes popular?

Transit jokes are popular because they resonate with a common experience—traveling and commuting.

Whether it’s about crowded buses, late trains, or quirky taxi drivers, these jokes capture the humor in shared daily experiences.

Can transit jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Transit jokes are excellent ice breakers, especially in situations where people might commute or travel regularly.

They can lighten up the atmosphere and help people bond over shared experiences.

How can I create my own transit jokes?

Consider common traits or experiences related to commuting—rush hours, missing a bus, traffic jams, etc.
Transit has its own unique vocabulary (e.g., stop, ticket, route). Look for homophones or interesting phrases involving these words.
Reflect on the context of your joke. Is it set on a bustling city bus or a quiet countryside train? Shape your humor around this setting.
Take a well-known saying or phrase and twist it to include transit elements.
Use puns and wordplay. Transit jokes are a great opportunity for some witty and pun-filled humor!

Are there any tips for remembering transit jokes?

Think of transit jokes in relation to situations where they might be useful—waiting at a bus stop, during a commute, or when talking about travel experiences.

Associating jokes with these moments can help you remember them.

How can I make my transit jokes better?

Find common ground with your audience, use the element of surprise, and don’t be afraid to play with words.

Practice is key, so keep sharing your jokes to see what gets the best reaction.

How does the Transit Joke Generator work?

Our Transit Joke Generator is the perfect tool for instant humor.

Just enter keywords related to your transit-themed situation and press Generate Jokes.

Within seconds, you’ll have a batch of funny transit jokes ready to share.

Is the Transit Joke Generator free?

Yes, the Transit Joke Generator is completely free to use!

Generate as many jokes as you want and keep your content entertaining and relatable.

Use it to lighten up your social feeds with humor that’s as diverse as the world of transit.

Conclusion

Transit jokes are an amusing way to add a dash of humor to everyday conversations, making every journey a bit more enjoyable with each chuckle.

From short one-liners to long and hilarious anecdotes, there’s a transit joke for every kind of commuter.

So next time you’re hopping on a bus or waiting for a train, remember, there’s humor to be found in every ticket, timetable, and transit delay.

Keep sharing the laughter, and let the good times ride and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without commuting—unthinkable and, honestly, a bit less adventurous.

Happy joking, everyone!

Taxi Jokes for Those Who Can’t Resist a Good Laugh

Bus Jokes That Will Drive You to Laughter

Subway Jokes to Add Humor to Your Daily Commute

Train Jokes That Will Keep Your Humor On Track

Airplane Jokes That Will Make Your Humor Soar