925 Apocalypse Jokes That Will Make You Chuckle Amid Chaos

If you’ve landed here, it means you’re prepared to delve into the domain of apocalypse jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the survivors among the ruins.

That’s why we’ve scavenged a list of the most hysterical apocalypse jokes.

From cataclysmic punchlines to explosive one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every end-of-the-world scenario.

So, let’s journey into the epicenter of apocalypse humor, one joke at a time.

Contents show

Apocalypse Jokes

Apocalypse jokes possess a dark humor that is oddly captivating and can tickle your funny bone in the most unexpected ways.

They are not just about the end of the world scenarios, but also about the quirky and humorous ways in which we might react to such situations.

From hoarding toilet paper to imagining alien invasions, apocalypse scenarios offer a treasure trove of comedy.

Creating an amusing apocalypse joke involves a blend of wit, timing, and a dash of gallows humor, often showcasing our human ability to laugh in the face of impending doom.

Ready for a laugh that’s out of this world?

Dive into these apocalyptic giggles and let’s end the world with a bang – of laughter, that is.

Why did the skeleton refuse to join the post-apocalyptic baseball team? He didn’t have the guts to play.
Why did the ghost go to the apocalypse party? He heard they were giving out boo-tiful prizes!
What did the doomsday prepper say to his friend? “I’m getting ready for the end of the world, wanna join me?”
Why did the apocalypse survivor carry a ladder? In case he needed a high ground during a zombie attack.
Why did the zombie go to the grocery store during the apocalypse? To stock up on brains!
Why did the vampire refuse to join the zombie apocalypse? He thought it was a bloody mess!
Why did the chicken cross the road during the apocalypse? To run away from the “poultry”geist!
Why did the apocalypse artist only draw ruined buildings? Because he had a real knack for apocalyptic art!
Why did the apocalypse survivor refuse to go to the party? He didn’t want to be a partypooper… or a zombie’s dinner!
Why did the apocalypse document his journey on social media? He wanted to show everyone he was trending!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a band with zombies? They wanted to rock ‘n’ roll their way through the end of the world!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic nun? A sister of disaster!
Why don’t zombies ever go to school? Because they’ve already eaten all the brains!
Why did the zombie go to the therapist? He needed someone to talk brains with.
Why did the zombie go to the therapist during the apocalypse? To get some brains-torming ideas.
Why did the zombie bring a ladder to the apocalypse? To “climb-b” over the dead bodies!
Why did the clown become the leader in the post-apocalyptic world? Because he knew how to juggle the chaos!
What did the zombie say to his friend at the end of the world? “We go way back, decom-pal!”
Why did the zombie refuse to eat the clown during the apocalypse? Because he thought it tasted a bit “funny”!
Why did the apocalypse go to the bank? To get some change for the end of the world.
Why did the apocalypse bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to raise the roof before it all came crashing down!
Why did the doomsday prepper bring a ladder to the end of the world? To reach new heights of survival!
Why did the apocalypse chef have trouble making bread? He could never get his yeast to rise from the dead.
What do you call it when a group of clowns tries to survive the apocalypse? The final laugh-ocalypse.
Why did the werewolf start a bakery during the apocalypse? Because he kneaded a way to make dough in a hairy situation!
Why did the zombie start a gardening business during the apocalypse? He wanted to grow some fresh brains.
Why did the werewolf start gardening during the apocalypse? He wanted to “crops” out of the chaos!
Why did the zombie eat at the cemetery during the apocalypse? Because it heard the food was to die for.
What did the earthquake say to the skyscraper? “I really rock your world!”
What’s the favorite dessert of zombies during the apocalypse? Grave-y!
What is a doomsday prepper’s favorite dessert? Armageddonuts!
Why did the end of the world party get canceled? The DJ couldn’t find a good “Armageddon” playlist!
What’s the most reliable way to survive a zombie apocalypse? Stay home and watch The Walking Dead!
Why did the apocalypse party get out of hand? Because someone spiked the punch with zombie virus.
Why did the apocalyptic chef make so much soup? Because he wanted to stew-vive!
What did the apocalypse say to the asteroid? “You rock, but I’m the real star of the show!”
Why did the skeleton refuse to help during the apocalypse? Because he had no guts!
Why did the scientist bring a bag of chips to the lab during the apocalypse? Because they wanted to study the microchip!
What do you call a group of apocalypse survivors that are also great musicians? The “End of the Band”!
Why did the zombie bring a ladder to the apocalypse? He heard it was the best way to rise to the occasion!
Why did the zombies start a band after the apocalypse? They wanted to have a killer performance.
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the supermarket? To reach the top shelf in case of an emergency!
What did the apocalypse say to the alien invasion? “Hey, I thought this was our gig!”
Why did the apocalypse news anchor have such a loyal following? He always delivered the dead-pan news.
Why did the apocalypse start a band? It wanted to be known for its apocalyptic harmonies!
What’s a zombie’s favorite type of exercise during the apocalypse? Dead-lifts!
Why did the vampire start a vegetable garden? Because he heard it was a great way to stake out the apocalypse!
Why was the apocalypse always hungry? It couldn’t resist a good “end of the world” meal!
Why did the skeleton go to the comedy club during the apocalypse? He wanted to tickle his funny bone.
What do you call a group of zombies competing in a singing contest? The Apocalypse Choir.
What do you call a zombie who wins a marathon during the apocalypse? A dead-icated runner.
Why did the vampire break up with the zombie during the apocalypse? Because he found someone with a lot more bite!
Why did the ghost join the apocalypse survival group? Because he wanted to make some “boo-tiful” memories!
How do zombies like their coffee during the apocalypse? Decaf-itated!
Why did the zombie go to the party? Because he wanted to have a “grave” time!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and the apocalypse? A “biting” end of the world!
Why did the apocalypse runner always come first in races? Because he was always running from zombies.
Why did the mummy go to therapy? He had too many issues wrapped up inside!
What did the apocalypse survivor say to the mutant octopus? “I don’t ink we should be friends.”
Why did the apocalypse have terrible cell phone reception? Because all the towers were “post”-apocalyptic!
Why did the skeleton refuse to participate in the apocalypse? He said he didn’t have the guts for it.
What did one apocalypse survivor say to the other? “It’s a good thing we still have each other, otherwise I’d be so lonely I could die!”
Why did the scarecrow become a survivalist? He wanted to be prepared for the crop-alypse.
What did the doomsday prepper say when the apocalypse finally happened? “I told you this day would come, but did anyone listen? Noooo!”
Why did the apocalypse cancel its gym membership? Because it couldn’t handle the heavy lifting!
Why did the chicken go to the bunker during the apocalypse? To avoid being a poultrygeist!
What’s the favorite game of zombies during the apocalypse? Hide and shriek!
Why did the vampire survive the apocalypse? Because he could always find a bloody good meal!
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a pencil to the fight? In case he had to draw a line in the sand.
Why did the apocalypse survivor always carry a pencil and paper? Because he wanted to “draw” some conclusions!
What do you call a group of post-apocalyptic bakers? The yeast of their worries.
Why did the apocalypse cancel its vacation? It couldn’t find any good travel deals for the end of the world!
Why did the vampire stay inside during the apocalypse? It didn’t want to catch the corpse cold!
What do you call a zombie that wins an Olympic gold medal? A decaying champion!
Why did the apocalypse start a tech company? Because he wanted to reboot the world.
What do you call a group of apocalyptic rabbits? The “Armageddon Bunnies”!
Why did the apocalypse chef make so many soups? Because he wanted to be the master of disaster!
What do you call a party thrown by zombies during the apocalypse? A “dead”ication celebration!
Why did the apocalypse party get canceled? The host couldn’t find any good apoca-tunes!
Why do zombies never go hungry? Because they love to have a “brain”storm!
Why did the vampire refuse to join the zombie apocalypse? He said he preferred a more “blood-curdling” experience.
What did the tornado say to the other tornado? “Let’s twist and shout, it’s the apocalypse party!”
What is a zombie’s favorite dessert? Grave-y pudding.
What did one apocalypse survivor say to the other? “I can’t believe we made it! It’s like we’re living on borrowed time. Oh wait, we are!”
Why did the zombie go to acting school? He wanted to learn how to put on a great performance even when his flesh was falling off.
Why was the zombie comedian so bad? He had no body laughing.
Why did the zombie go to the therapist? To work on his “grave” issues!
Why did the zombie bring a ladder to the apocalypse? Because he heard the end was “rising” up high!
Why did the vampire’s business go bankrupt during the apocalypse? Because all the blood banks closed.
Why did the apocalypse fail to scare anyone? Because it was a total “disaster” in the making!
Why did the apocalypse bring a broom to the party? Because it wanted to sweep everyone off their feet.
What do you call a group of zombies playing a game of tag? Apocalypse Now and Then!
Why did the apocalypse bring a ladder to the bar? Because it wanted to raise the roof.
Why did the zombie apocalypse never happen? Because they couldn’t find any “braaains”!
What did the apocalypse say to the sun? “You’re not so hot anymore!”
What did the skeleton say to the survivor in the post-apocalyptic world? “I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”
What do you call a zombie who plays basketball? A slam-dunkin’ dead-head!
Why did the skeleton bring a ladder during the apocalypse? Because he wanted to “climb” out of the chaos!
Why did the apocalypse fail to start on time? It was running late-calyptic!
Why did the zombie get a promotion during the apocalypse? Because he always went the extra mile, dragging his feet.
What do you call a group of apocalyptic singers? The Four Horsemen-iacs!
Why did the apocalypse cancel its gym membership? It didn’t need it anymore; everything was already in ruins.
Why don’t zombies eat clowns during the apocalypse? They taste funny and they’re all jokes!
Why did the zombie refuse to fight in the apocalypse? He didn’t want any beef.
Why did the zombie join the gym during the apocalypse? He wanted to work on his core, specifically his braaaaains!
What’s a zombie’s favorite game? Dead-ication!
What did the apocalypse survivor say to the annoying zombie? “Quit bugging me, or I’ll give you a deadly high-five!”
Why did the apocalypse get cancelled? The zombies didn’t want to “end” the fun!
What did the zombie say to the magician? You can’t trick me, I’m dead already!
Why did the zombie start a band during the apocalypse? It wanted to play some “decomposed” music.
Why did the zombie go to the dentist? Because it wanted a little decay!
Why did the skeleton become a stand-up comedian during the apocalypse? Because he had a “bone”-dry sense of humor!
Why do zombies make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are always rotten!
Why did the apocalypse start going to therapy? Because it needed to work through its issues!
Why did the ghost become a comedian after the apocalypse? Because he could “boo” the audience without scaring them!
Why did the apocalypse party get out of control? Because it was a rager to end all ragers!
What do you call a group of zombies that plays musical instruments? A dead band!
Why did the skeleton refuse to leave his house during the apocalypse? He didn’t have the guts to go outside!
What do you call it when a comet destroys a city during the apocalypse? A stargenocide!
Why did the apocalypse stay home on a Friday night? It didn’t want to deal with the “end of the week” rush!
Why did the vampire refuse to join the zombie apocalypse? He said it was too bloody for his taste!
Why did the apocalypse make everyone gain weight? Because it was the end of the “waist”land!
Why don’t zombies ever go to the gym? Because they already have killer abs!
What do you call a group of apocalypse survivors who form a band? The “End of Days” Orchestra!
What did the apocalypse say to the comedian? “You’re killing me… oh wait, that’s my job!”
Why did the ghost join the apocalypse survival group? It didn’t want to be left in the lurch!
Why did the zombie go to the casino? He wanted to try his luck at the slot of the dead.
Why did the apocalypse survivor refuse to join the circus? Because he didn’t want to “juggle” with his life anymore!
What did one apocalypse say to the other? Let’s meet up and end the world together.
Why did the zombie go to the dentist? To improve his “chomp-ers”!
Why did the zombie go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find any “body” to go with!
Why don’t zombies ever get into arguments? Because they can never see eye to eye!
What do you call a zombie who wins a race? Dead-last!
Why did the post-apocalyptic chef have trouble making desserts? All the recipes required a “dash” of civilization.
Why did the apocalypse make terrible coffee? It ran out of beans and had to resort to grinding up the survivors.
Why did the apocalypse become a chef? Because he wanted to cook up some arm-ageddon!
Why did the apocalypse party get out of hand? Because someone turned it into a rave-nous event.
Why did the vampire refuse to join the apocalypse survival team? He didn’t want to get any stake in it!
Why was the zombie always invited to parties during the apocalypse? Because he was a real party animal!
Why did the apocalypse give up on being a musician? He couldn’t handle the end of his career.
Why did the apocalypse start dating a ghost? Because they have a lot of chemistry.
What did one apocalypse survivor say to the other? “I guess we’ll have to make the best of the end times!”
Why did the apocalypse party get canceled? Nobody could find the Armageddon-it music playlist!
Why did the vampire become a motivational speaker during the apocalypse? He wanted to inspire others to “live” their best undead lives!
What did the zombie say to the survivors? “I love hanging out with you guys, you’re so “un-dead” funny!”
What did one nuclear bomb say to the other? “I feel like we’re going to have a blast together!”
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the store? They heard everything was marked down!
What do you call it when a group of vampires survive the apocalypse? A bat-tle royale.
Why did the apocalypse dog start a band? Because he wanted to be the lead howler of the pack!
What do you call a group of dolphins surviving the apocalypse? The porcalypse!
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the fight? Because he wanted to reach new “heights” of survival!
Why did the zombie go to therapy during the apocalypse? Because he wanted to work on his braaains!

Short Apocalypse Jokes

Short apocalypse jokes are like a well-executed zombie scare—unexpected, startling, yet oddly humorous.

These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood at a movie night, posting on social media, or simply brightening a friend’s day with a text message.

The genius of short apocalypse jokes lies in their ability to mix a dash of darkness with a large dose of laughter, giving us a chuckle even when talking about the end of the world.

So brace yourself, it’s about to get hilariously catastrophic!

Here are some short apocalypse jokes that will bring a smile to even the gloomiest doomsday prepper.

What’s a vampire’s favorite type of weather? Fang-tastic!
Why did the scarecrow survive the apocalypse? He had outstanding survival skills!
Why do aliens love the apocalypse? It’s the perfect abduction opportunity!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic rapper? MC Armageddon!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic dog? A mutt-ant!
What’s a vampire’s favorite part of the apocalypse? The neck-tacular view!
What’s the zombie’s favorite pick-up line? Can I eat your brains?
What’s a zombie’s favorite meal? Brains with a side of spleen!
What do you call a zombie with a car? A dead driver!
What do you call a zombie who cooks? A goulash!
Why did the robot survive the apocalypse? It had “byte” protection!
What’s a vampire’s favorite song during the apocalypse? Bad Blood!
What did the ghost say to the monster? You look boo-tiful today!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What do you call a cow during an apocalypse? A milkshake!
Why did the werewolf join a gym? To get that full-moon six-pack!
What’s the best way to survive a zombie apocalypse? By running marathons!
What do you call a zombie marathon? A dead run!
Why don’t zombies ever win races? They’re dead last!
What’s an apocalypse survivor’s favorite dessert? Armageddonuts!
Why did the comedian excel during the apocalypse? He had killer one-liners!
What do you call a zombie with no body? An armageddon!
What’s a ghost’s favorite song during the apocalypse? “I Will Survive!”
What did the doomsday prepper say to the optimist? See you later!
Why did the zombie go to the party? To raise the dead!
Why did the apocalypse cancel his gym membership? No more weights!
What do you call a zombie with a broken leg? A slow-mo-bile!
What do you call a zombie comedian? A deadpan humorist!
What’s an apocalypse survivor’s favorite drink? A Quarantini!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic vegetable? A nuclear-cumber!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of apocalypse? A blood moon!
What’s the zombie’s favorite exercise? The dead-lift!
Why did the apocalypse painter become famous? He had an apocalyptic brushstroke!
What’s the apocalypse’s favorite music genre? Heavy metal!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor? He had coffin’ fits!
Why did the skeleton go to the apocalypse party? For the bone-us!
What do you call a vampire during the apocalypse? A blood-sucking survivor!
What do you call a snowman with a sunburn? A meltdown!
Why did the apocalypse party end early? The punch was killer!
How do you make a zombie stop groaning? Give it a “dead”line!
What’s a ghost’s favorite part of the apocalypse? The boo-m!
What do you call a zombie who can’t tell jokes? A humerus-less!
What’s a doomsday prepper’s favorite game? Hide and freak!
Why did the zombie go to the dentist? It needed a crown!
Why did the Apocalypse cancel its gym membership? It lost its apoca-gains!
Why did the apocalypse cancel their dinner reservation? They lost their appetite!
What do you call a group of musical zombies? Decomposing composers!
What’s the best way to survive the apocalypse? Stay positive… HIV positive!
How do you survive the apocalypse? Stay calm and carry on!
What’s a vampire’s favorite car during the apocalypse? A Stake-Holder!
What’s the apocalypse’s favorite music genre? End of the world-ternative!
What do you call a zombie comedian? The laughing dead!
What’s the post-apocalyptic diet? “Apolocarbs” – all carbs, no judgment!
How does a ghost survive during the apocalypse? It stays “spirited” away!
Why did the scientist survive the apocalypse? Because he had good chemistry!
What’s a vampire’s favorite apocalypse survival tool? A coffin-nail gun!
What’s a cannibal’s favorite fast food joint during the apocalypse? Sub-human-way!
Why did the apocalypse party get canceled? Nobody could make it!
What do you call a party in the apocalypse? A “Zom-beat”!
What’s a doomsday prepper’s favorite type of music? Panic at the Costco!
Why did the zombie get an award? It had an out-standing decom-possession!
What do you call a group of apocalypse survivors? A selfie!
Why did the apocalypse never happen? It was too apoco-lazy!
What’s a doomsday prepper’s favorite kind of humor? Dark comedy!
Why did the scientist study the apocalypse? It was his “end” goal!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone!
What’s a prepper’s favorite exercise? Armageddon curls!
What’s a zombie’s favorite meal? Brainstorm soup!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

Apocalypse Jokes One-Liners

Apocalypse jokes one-liners are like finding humor in the face of doom, all wrapped up in a tight package of wit and brevity.

They are the comedic equivalent of surviving the end of the world with a laugh and a smile – daring, bold, and unflinchingly hilarious.

Creating an effective apocalypse one-liner requires a mix of dark humor, clever wordplay, and the ability to laugh in the face of adversity.

The real test is to fuse the scenario and the punchline into a succinct sentence, delivering a hearty chuckle amidst the grimness with as few words as possible.

Here’s hoping these apocalypse one-liners bring a burst of laughter in your bunker:

If the apocalypse comes, I’ll be the first to say, “I told you so… but nobody is listening.”
I started an apocalypse-themed workout routine called “Zombie Zumba.” It’s a great way to stay in shape while running for your life.
If the world is ending, I’m glad I bought all those empty picture frames, at least I’ll have something to hang on to.
Why did the apocalypse go to therapy? It had a lot of “end of the world” issues!
I’m training for the apocalypse by binge-watching survival shows on Netflix.
I used to fear the apocalypse, but now I just fear running out of popcorn during a movie marathon.
If you think your job is pointless, imagine being a lifeguard during the zombie apocalypse.
Why did the apocalypse survivors start a bakery? Because they realized the end is yeast!
After the apocalypse, I’m pretty sure the new global currency will be toilet paper rolls.
I asked a zombie if he wanted to hang out, but he said he was dead busy.
I’ve been preparing for the apocalypse by watching reality TV shows. It’s good practice for living in a post-apocalyptic world.
The only thing scarier than the apocalypse is running out of toilet paper during the apocalypse.
If I had a dollar for every time the world was ending, I’d have enough money to start my own apocalypse survival kit store.
I’m pretty sure the first rule of the zombie apocalypse is: cardio, cardio, cardio.
The apocalypse must be near because my hair has started to match my mood – a complete disaster.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m definitely going to miss online shopping. I mean, how else am I supposed to impulse buy survival gear?
I asked the Mayans if the world was going to end. They said, “Sorry, we ran out of calendar.” .
After the apocalypse, I imagine the most valuable currency will be toilet paper. Stock up now!
I tried to organize a post-apocalyptic marathon, but nobody wanted to run because they said it was the end of the race!
In the apocalypse, I’ll be the designated “Dad Joke” teller to keep everyone’s spirits low.
The good thing about the apocalypse is that the self-checkout machines at the grocery store will finally stop judging me.
I told my friends I wanted to be a zombie for Halloween, but they said I should aim higher and become a full apocalypse survivor instead.
Apocalypse: The perfect time to learn how to bake since the world is already on fire.
In the apocalypse, the only thing scarier than the undead are the people who hoarded all the toilet paper.
I’m not afraid of the apocalypse, I’m more concerned about running out of WiFi signal.
It’s the apocalypse, so I guess I’ll finally get to use that emergency kit I bought in 2007.
What do you call a vampire who just survived the apocalypse? An apoca-lip-biter.
During the apocalypse, I plan to become a professional hide-and-seeker.
Apocalypse: Where the phrase “I told you so” becomes the most popular catchphrase.
The good news is that the apocalypse is on sale, the bad news is it’s a buy one get one free deal.
What’s a zombie’s favorite meal? Brains over brawn.
If the world is ending, I hope it’s on a Friday so I don’t have to go to work.
I’m pretty sure the only thing that will survive the apocalypse is my collection of expired coupons.
Why did the apocalypse survivor always carry a pencil? In case he had to draw his own conclusion!
I always knew my obsession with watching zombie movies would come in handy during the apocalypse.
Why did the zombie go to the dentist? He had a bad case of undead-ivitis.
My biggest fear about the apocalypse is not having access to unlimited Wi-Fi.
During the apocalypse, I saw a group of witches performing a ritual. Turns out they were just trying to summon delivery pizza!
What do you call a zombie who can’t remember anything? An amnes-zombie.
I tried to start an Apocalypse Club, but nobody showed up.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m going to start a business selling zombie repellent. It’s just a can of deodorant, but they don’t need to know that.
I was planning to start a garden after the apocalypse, but now I’m thinking zombies might prefer brains over organic produce.
Apocalypse or not, I still can’t resist hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock.
I asked my friend if he believed in the apocalypse, he said “No, I’m more of a post-apocalyptic kind of guy!”
If the apocalypse happens, I hope zombies like donuts because that’s the only thing I know how to bake.
If there’s an apocalypse, I’m just going to follow a dog because they always seem to know where to find food.
Apocalypse or not, I still won’t be able to parallel park.
I saw a sign that said, “Zombie-free zone,” I thought to myself, “Well, that’s a dead giveaway!”
I tried to start an apocalypse support group, but everyone just stopped showing up.
If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Why did the Apocalypse become a vegetarian? Because it couldn’t find any more people to eat!
Why did the skeleton refuse to participate in the apocalypse? He said it was too mainstream, he was into underground movements.
The apocalypse isn’t all bad, at least we won’t have to worry about traffic anymore.
The good news about the apocalypse is that we’ll finally have an excuse to wear sweatpants all day.
During the apocalypse, the zombies were finally able to live out their dreams of becoming politicians. Now we have congress roamers!
What do you call a group of confused zombies during the apocalypse? A brain fart!
The upside of the apocalypse is that traffic has significantly improved.
I’m not saying the end of the world would be a good thing, but my laundry pile would finally be justified.
I tried to join the doomsday preppers, but they said I didn’t have the right “end-of-the-world” fashion sense.
The end of the world is like a bad breakup – you never saw it coming and suddenly everything is on fire.
In the event of an apocalypse, I’m going to start a new society where the currency is candy bars. Finally, my hoarding skills will be useful.
The silver lining of the apocalypse is that I’ll finally be able to use up all those candles I’ve been hoarding for years.
If the apocalypse happens and I’m the last person on Earth, I guess I’ll finally have time to catch up on all those Netflix shows everyone keeps talking about.
In the apocalypse, social distancing is no longer a recommendation, it’s a survival strategy.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m going to be the first one to blame autocorrect for destroying the world.
In the apocalypse, I’ll be the guy who’s hoarding all the Nutella. It’s the little things that keep you going.
The apocalypse is a great excuse for not doing the laundry. “Sorry, can’t wash clothes, the world is ending.”
If the world is ending, I hope it happens on a Monday, so at least I won’t have to go to work.
I used to be a doomsday prepper, but now I’m just a procrastinator.
The silver lining of the apocalypse is that I won’t have to worry about my diet anymore.
I’m starting a post-apocalyptic workout routine – it’s called “Cardio-clysm”
I used to be apocalyptic, but then I realized I can’t even predict my own hangovers.
Apocalypse: The only time where being called a “survivor” is a compliment.
I’m not saying the apocalypse would be fun, but at least we wouldn’t have to worry about small talk anymore.
My post-apocalyptic survival plan involves finding the nearest grocery store and raiding the snack aisle.
The good thing about the apocalypse is that I can finally start using up all those expired coupons.
Apocalypse: When you can finally justify eating all the canned food you’ve been hoarding.
My friends told me to prepare for the apocalypse, so I bought extra snacks and a Netflix subscription.
I’m pretty sure my survival skills during the apocalypse will consist of binge-watching Netflix until the wifi goes out.
If the apocalypse starts, I’m just going to hide in my laundry room because it’s already a disaster zone.
I’m training my pet zombie to play fetch with severed limbs.
I asked the four horsemen of the apocalypse if they wanted to carpool, but they said they prefer to ride solo.
What did the doomsday prepper say to the procrastinator? “I told you so… but you didn’t listen.”
I thought I saw an apocalypse survivor, but it turned out to be just a hipster wearing vintage clothes.
I always thought the end of the world would involve more popcorn and less panic.
I tried to start a post-apocalyptic bakery, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
The only reason I’m not afraid of the apocalypse is because my to-do list is so long, I wouldn’t have time to be scared.
What do you call a zombie who can play the guitar during the apocalypse? A decomposing rock star!
If the apocalypse happens, I’m just going to follow the zombies around because they seem to have no problem finding fresh food.
Apocalypse: When you can finally use your “end of the world” playlist you made years ago.
Being a morning person during the apocalypse means you get first dibs on the coffee supplies.
I asked the apocalypse cult leader for his prediction, and he said, “The end is near… but the snacks are even nearer!”
I’m not saying it’s the end of the world, but I just saw a squirrel burying its nuts in my backyard…
Why did the Apocalypse always lose at poker? Because it had a terrible poker face – it was always showing its hand!
I’m convinced that the real apocalypse would be if all the coffee shops suddenly closed.
In the apocalypse, the only thing scarier than zombies is realizing you forgot to charge your phone.
Why did the alien invasion fail during the apocalypse? The humans mistook them for a reality TV show and ignored them.
Apocalypse: When it’s no longer frowned upon to wear pajamas in public.
If the apocalypse is anything like my dating life, it’s going to be a lot of disappointment and hiding in my room.
I always keep a spare can of beans in my doomsday bunker, because you never know when you might need a quick source of protein during the apocalypse.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m definitely joining the first gang of post-apocalyptic artists I find.
Why did the zombie go to the art museum? He heard they had a lot of fresh brains on display.
I always thought the end of the world would involve more explosions and fewer Zoom meetings.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m pretty sure my job as a procrastinator will become vital for humanity’s survival.
During the Apocalypse, I’m going to open a sunscreen shop and call it “Sunblock of Ages.”
Apocalypse: The time when the phrase “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” becomes a reality.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m going to hide in the pantry and live off of canned food and chocolate for as long as possible.
The best part about the apocalypse? No more awkward small talk with neighbors.
In the event of an apocalypse, I’m going to start a business selling “I Survived” t-shirts.
I tried to make friends with a vampire during the apocalypse, but he always left me in the dark.
My friend tried to convince me that the apocalypse is just a myth. That’s when I realized he was in denial.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m definitely joining the group that has the most snacks.
When the apocalypse hits, I’ll be the one hiding in the pantry with a bag of chips.
I asked the zombie if he wanted a piece of my mind, but he said he was already full.
You know it’s the end times when your last Google search is “how to survive a zombie apocalypse.”
If the apocalypse turns out to be a zombie outbreak, I’m confident that my years of binge-watching The Walking Dead have prepared me for leadership.
Why did the chicken cross the wasteland? To get to the other “side” of the apocalypse!
If the apocalypse happens, I hope the zombies are into recycling. It would be a shame to let all those brainless bodies go to waste.
The great thing about the apocalypse is that it’s a perfect opportunity to try out those new zombie makeup tutorials I’ve been watching on YouTube.
If the apocalypse happens, I hope I get turned into a zombie with a sense of humor.
If the world ends, I’m going to miss online shopping more than I thought.
Why did the apocalypse party get canceled? Because the invite said “BYOB” and everyone brought their own bats.
They say the apocalypse will be a real game-changer. Well, that’s one way to finally beat my high score on Candy Crush.
What do you call a group of zombies performing a synchronized dance routine? The Apoca-lipsyncers!
My doomsday prediction is that all the clocks in the world will suddenly gain sentience and stop working. It’s going to be clockwork chaos.
If the apocalypse doesn’t come with free WiFi, I’m not interested.
The upside of the apocalypse? No more awkward family dinners.
If the apocalypse happens, I’ll be the one hiding in the bunker with a lifetime supply of chocolate and wine.
I’m not saying I’m prepared for the apocalypse, but I did watch all eight seasons of The Walking Dead, so I’m basically an expert now.
I joined an apocalypse survival group, but they kicked me out because apparently, my dance moves were too distracting during combat training.
Why did the vampire join the apocalypse survival group? He thought it was a great way to get some fresh necks.
I’m not worried about the apocalypse, I have a secret weapon – a stash of dad jokes.
If the apocalypse happens, my survival strategy will be to make friends with the person who knows how to make a really good cup of coffee.
If the apocalypse happens, I hope I’m wearing my good sweatpants.
I’ve always been told to live each day like it’s my last, but I never expected it to actually be the apocalypse.
I’m not afraid of the zombie apocalypse, I’m just afraid of running out of coffee.
Apocalypse: The only time when zombies are the least of your worries.
If you can survive the apocalypse, you can survive anything… except maybe a family dinner.
Apocalypse: Where “Netflix and chill” turns into “Netflix and try not to die”
I asked the fortune teller what will happen during the apocalypse. She said, “Sorry, I don’t do end-of-the-world sales.” Well, that’s just apocryphal.
If the apocalypse happens, I hope I’m one of those background characters that just keeps walking in the opposite direction.
Why did the vampire start planting vegetables during the apocalypse? He wanted to have “blood-red” tomatoes!
If the world ends in a rain of fire, I’ll finally have an excuse for all those late library book returns.
Why did the apocalypse party get canceled? The end of the world was too crowded already.
My quarantine playlist is just a bunch of songs with the word “apocalypse” in the title.
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a bakery? He wanted to make some killer pastries before the world ended.
Apocalypse: The perfect time to ask “Is it hot in here or is it just the end of the world?”
My idea of an apocalypse survival plan is to hide in the library and become the last person on earth who knows how to use a card catalog.
I asked a scientist if the world will end in fire or ice. He said, “Neither, it’ll end in paperwork.”
I’m training my dog to be a guard dog for the Apocalypse. So far, he’s great at playing dead.
In the post-apocalyptic world, I’ll finally have a valid excuse for not returning phone calls and replying to emails.
My doomsday prepping strategy is simple: stock up on snacks and wait for the aliens to come.
I’m not saying the apocalypse would be a good thing, but at least it would finally solve the “What should we have for dinner?” dilemma.
Instead of doomsday prepping, I’m just stockpiling memes for the apocalypse – laughter is the best survival strategy.
Why did the zombie go to the party after the Apocalypse? He heard there would be lots of brain food!
Why did the apocalypse throw a party? Because it wanted to “end” on a high note!
The good news about the apocalypse is that I no longer have to worry about my student loans.
I always knew my doomsday prepping would pay off, now who wants some canned beans?
The Apocalypse is like a party that nobody wants to go to, but everyone is dying to leave.
The apocalypse doesn’t scare me, I’ve been preparing my whole life for a zombie dance-off.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m hiding out in the gym. Those zombies won’t even recognize me as food.
I’m not worried about the apocalypse because I always have a backup plan: pretending to be a zombie.
I asked the zombie if he wanted a snack, and he said, “No thanks, I’m already dead inside.”
The silver lining of the apocalypse is that I finally have a valid excuse for not returning my library books.
I’m not saying I’m excited about the apocalypse, but I did just buy a lifetime supply of Twinkies.
Why did the apocalypse survivor become a baker? Because he wanted to rise from the ashes and make bread.
The apocalypse might be depressing, but at least we won’t have to worry about Mondays anymore.
I’m pretty sure the apocalypse would actually increase my chances of finding a parking spot in the city.
I’m not sure if I’m ready for the apocalypse, but my collection of cat memes is on point.
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the party? To reach for the stars before they disappeared!
If the apocalypse comes, just remember to bring your own snacks.
Why did the apocalypse survivor refuse to eat the canned food? He said he preferred his meals armageddon fresh.
If the world ends, at least I won’t have to worry about parking tickets anymore.
I was going to start a new gym routine, but then I realized the apocalypse is a great excuse to skip leg day forever.
My apocalypse survival kit consists of chocolate and a Netflix subscription.
If the world is ending, I hope it’s not during my favorite TV show, that would be the real tragedy.
Why did the zombie only eat comedians after the apocalypse? Because they had the best taste in brains.
If the apocalypse happens, at least my student loans will be forgiven.
In case of an apocalypse, I’m stocking up on canned laughter to make it less terrifying.
I can’t decide if the apocalypse will be more like Mad Max or The Hunger Games. Either way, I’m practicing my archery skills.
If the apocalypse happens and no one is around to tweet about it, did it really happen?
My zombie apocalypse survival plan is to just pretend to be a zombie.
If the world ends in 2021, at least I won’t have to pay off my student loans.
My Apocalypse survival plan consists of hiding under my blanket and pretending it’s not happening.
If the world ends, remember to unsubscribe from all those annoying email newsletters.
What do you call a post-apocalyptic fashion show? The Armageddon Collection.
The good news about the apocalypse is that I can finally stop saving for retirement.
My apocalypse survival strategy is to hide in the clearance section of a dollar store.
I’m not saying I want the apocalypse to happen, but I do have a really awesome zombie survival plan.
If the Apocalypse happens and I survive, I’m going to start a post-apocalyptic bakery called “Loaf and Destruction.”
They say that during the apocalypse, only the strong will survive. Good thing I’ve been practicing my dad jokes.
During the apocalypse, I’ll be the one trading canned goods for Wi-Fi passwords.
I used to worry about climate change, but now I see it as just Mother Nature’s way of warming up for the apocalypse.
What did the apocalypse say to the chicken? “I’m gonna “apocollipse” you!”
Who needs a retirement plan when the apocalypse promises a life of scavenging and post-apocalyptic thrift stores?
I asked my friend how he’s preparing for the apocalypse. He said, “I bought a lifetime supply of toilet paper. Gotta stay clean in the afterlife!”
After the apocalypse, I guess the only thing left to do is to update my LinkedIn profile to “Experienced Survivor”
What do you call a zombie with a great sense of humor? A “dead” comedian!
Why did the apocalypse survivor join the circus? Because they wanted to be a juggler of life and death!
Who needs a gym membership when you can just run for your life during the zombie apocalypse?
If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I’ll be the first in line for the brain buffet.
What did the apocalypse say to the tornado? “We should hang out more, we have so much in common!”
The apocalypse would be much scarier if zombies started knocking on doors to sell essential oils.
If the apocalypse happens, I’m going to start a “Survivors Anonymous” group, we can meet in the ruins of the local Starbucks.
If the apocalypse happens, I’ll finally have an excuse to wear my bedazzled hazmat suit.
The apocalypse is like a party where no one shows up, except for zombies.
Why did the zombie refuse to eat the clown’s brain? He said it tasted funny.
I asked a psychic about the apocalypse, and she said it’s definitely going to happen… eventually.
My favorite part of the apocalypse is the lack of traffic.
My apocalypse survival plan consists of hiding under a pile of laundry and praying that the zombies don’t do laundry.
Why did the survivalist bring a ladder during the Apocalypse? So he could reach for the stars, even if they were falling!
I tried to organize an apocalypse-themed party, but nobody showed up. It was the end of the world as I knew it, and I felt fine.
During the apocalypse, I met a math teacher who was really good at counting on his fingers. He said it was his survivalist digit-tation!
I asked the apocalypse survivor if they had any regrets. They said, “I wish I had eaten more ice cream. It’s the sweetest way to face the end!”
If the world ends, I hope my last words will be something cool like “Oops, I left the stove on.”

Apocalypse Dad Jokes

Apocalypse Dad Jokes are an interesting mix of doom and hilarity that will make you facepalm and chuckle simultaneously.

They’re the kind of jokes that are so hilariously catastrophic, they’re actually funny.

These jokes are perfect for spicing up campfire stories, breaking the ice during a tense moment, or simply to lighten up a gloomy day.

Prepare yourself for the impending laughter.

Here are some apocalypse dad jokes that are guaranteed to end in a laugh:

Why did the apocalypse party get canceled? Because it was a complete disaster!
What do you call it when a zombie apocalypse starts during a heatwave? A flesh-melting pot!
Why did the zombie go to school during the apocalypse? He wanted to learn some brainy tricks!
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the grocery store? To “stock up” on the top shelf items!
What is a zombie’s favorite dance during the apocalypse? The brain freeze.
Why did the Apocalypse survivor become a gardener? Because he wanted to sow the seeds of hope in a post-apocalyptic world!
Why did the ghost become a motivational speaker during the apocalypse? Because he had a lot of spirit!
What did the zombie say to the other zombie during the apocalypse? “I love you for your brains!”
Why was the math book sad during the apocalypse? Because it had too many problems!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic sleepover? An end of the world slumber party.
Why don’t zombies go to the gym? Because they’re always deadlifting.
Why did the ghost join the apocalypse survival group? He wanted to add some spooky to the end of the world.
What did the apocalypse say to the planet Earth? I’m sorry, but it’s not you, it’s me-teor!
Why did the zombie start a gardening business during the apocalypse? Because he had a green thumb – and a green everything else!
What did the ocean say to the beach during the apocalypse? Nothing, it just waved.
How do you organize a post-apocalyptic party? You plan-it dead in advance.
Why did the post-apocalyptic baker always win awards? Because he was a master at “end of the roll” recipes!
Why did the dog become a hero during the apocalypse? It saved the whole family from a “ruff” situation!
Why do mummies make great party guests during the apocalypse? Because they always bring the wraps!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic cow? An udder destruction!
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the store? Because he wanted to reach the “top” shelves!
Why did the zombie become a stand-up comedian? Because he always had killer jokes!
What did the doomsday prepper say to his family when they asked for dinner plans? “Get ready for canned food again!”
Why did the ghost throw a party during the apocalypse? It wanted to have a “hauntingly” good time before the end of the world!
Why did the skeleton go to the party during the apocalypse? To dance its bones off.
Why did the Apocalypse survivor start a band? Because he wanted to rock out and roll with the punches!
Why did the ghost always throw parties during the apocalypse? Because he wanted to have a boo-lit celebration!
Why did the musician start playing during the apocalypse? He wanted to rock the end of the world!
Why did the sun avoid the apocalypse? Because it didn’t want to burn out too soon!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic currency? Cryptocollapse.
Why did the apocalypse join a band? It wanted to rock the world in a literal sense!
Why did the computer go to the doctor after the apocalypse? It had a bad case of the virus!
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns during the apocalypse? Because they taste funny.
What did the end of the world party planner say? “It’s going to be a blast!”
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a bakery? Because he knew the secret to making killer “Doom-nuts”!
What do you call a group of apocalyptic musicians? The end of the world band!
Why did the apocalypse cancel its gym membership? Because it didn’t want to “end” up in shape!
Why did the zombie go to the party alone? Because he didn’t want to bring any dead weight.
Why do zombies make terrible comedians during the apocalypse? Their jokes always fall flat!
Why did the meteorologist survive the apocalypse? He always had a heads up on the weather, even after the world ended.
Why do zombies never get invited to parties during the apocalypse? They’re always eating everyone’s brains!
What did one wall say to the other wall during the apocalypse? I’ll meet you at the corner.
Why do zombies never go on diets? Because they love devouring everything!
What did the skeleton say to his friend during the apocalypse? I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
Why don’t zombies like fast food? Because they can’t catch anything that’s McRunning.
What do you call a post-apocalyptic TV show about a group of musicians? The Walking Shed.
Why did the zombie go on a diet during the apocalypse? He wanted to watch his figure… get devoured.
Why did the apocalypse lose at poker? Because it didn’t have a full house, just ruins!
Why did the ghost go to the bar? For some spirits before the apocalypse.
Why did the apocalypse survivor become a musician? Because he wanted to play some “end of the world” jams on his guitar-pocalypse!
Why did the scarecrow win the post-apocalyptic award? Because it was outstanding in its field.
What did the earthquake say to the other natural disasters? “I shake things up around here, literally.”
Why did the zombie go to college? To get a degree in post-apocalyptic studies!
How do you survive the zombie apocalypse at a bakery? Stay well-bread.
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a band? Because they wanted to create some post-apocalyptic tunes with a “radioactive” sound!
What’s a zombie’s favorite meal during the apocalypse? Brains over easy.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor? Because he was dead tired.
Why did the apocalypse break up with his girlfriend? He thought she was too clingy.
How did the apocalypse change the fashion industry? It made everyone wear designer masks!
What did the zombie say when he found a brain during the apocalypse? “I feel smarter already!”
Why did the apocalypse doctor always carry a red marker? To “check off” the infected patients on his list!
What did the doomsday prepper say to his wife? “Honey, I love you more than canned food and survival gear.” She replied, “I love you more than the apocalypse scares me.” .
Why did the ghost join the apocalypse survival group? He wanted to be a part of the ghoul-diggers.
Why did the apocalypse make terrible music? It couldn’t find any good records, just vinyl destruction!
Why did the Apocalypse survivor become a stand-up comedian? Because laughter is the best way to survive the end of the world!
Why did the vampire join the post-apocalyptic band? Because he wanted to be a part of the end-of-the-world tour!
What did the Apocalypse survivor say to the zombies? “I’m dying to meet you!”
Why did the astronaut join the apocalypse survival team? Because he wanted to be a “space” case!
What do you call it when the sun and the moon collide during the Apocalypse? A total eclipse of the heart!
Why did the zombie go to the party during the apocalypse? Because he wanted to “meat” new people!
Why did the scarecrow win an award during the apocalypse? Because he was outstanding in his field (of dead corn)!
Why did the apocalypse take up singing? It wanted to join the “end of the world” tour!
Why did the vampire get a job during the apocalypse? Because he wanted to “stake” his claim in the new world!
Why did the apocalypse lose at chess? It could never find the checkmate!
Why did the scarecrow quit his job after the apocalypse? Because there were no more birds of prey.
Why did the apocalypse hit the snooze button? It wanted a few more minutes of doomsday!
What’s the zombie’s favorite type of music during the apocalypse? Soul music, of corpse!
Why did the skeleton go to the party during the apocalypse? To add a little life to the dead atmosphere.
Why do robots always survive the apocalypse? Because they have the power of Ctrl+Alt+Delete!
Why did the apocalypse start a vegetable garden? To survive the end, they had to turnip the heat!
What did one apocalypse survivor say to the other? “Let’s stick together, we make a great end-of-the-world team!”
What do you get when you cross an apocalypse with a tree? The end of the world as we know it and lumberjacks without a job!
Why do scientists say the world is ending? Because they found a lot of evidence.
Why did the Apocalypse party have low attendance? Because everyone was busy “pocalypse” their bags!
Why did the vampire lose his job during the apocalypse? He couldn’t meet his daily blood quota!
Why did the vampire take cover during the apocalypse? He wanted to avoid the stake-out!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the apocalypse? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call it when a meteorologist predicts the end of the world? A global warning!
How do you survive the apocalypse while staying fashionable? By wearing apocachic clothes!
Why did the cowboy survive the apocalypse? Because he rode off into the sunset!
Why did the zombie go to the bakery? Because he wanted his daily bread.
Why did the apocalypse go to the therapist? Because it was feeling a little “end”tense!
Why did the apocalypse writer fail? Because he couldn’t come up with a good ending.
Why did the vampire stay calm during the apocalypse? He had a stake in the outcome!
Why did the apocalypse survivor open a bakery? Because they wanted to make “end-of-the-world” rolls!
Why don’t aliens invade during the apocalypse? Because they don’t want to catch human viruses.
What did one apocalypse say to the other? Let’s make a disaster plan.
What do you call a group of post-apocalyptic kids who start a band? The Offspring of the Apocalypse.
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An orca-stra.
Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank during the apocalypse? He thought it would be a bloody good opportunity!
What did the apocalypse say to the tornado? You spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record, baby, right round, round, round.
Why did the vampire refuse to join the zombie apocalypse? He said he already had a grave job!
Why did the apocalypse survivor refuse to play cards? Because they were dealing with a full deck of zombies!
Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank during the apocalypse? Because it was a stake-holder position!
Why did the apocalypse survivor take up gardening? Because he wanted to grow “crop-alypse” resistant vegetables!
Why did the apocalypse chef open a restaurant? Because he wanted to serve the final meal, the “Armageddon-It” special!
Why did the apocalypse chef never get promoted? Because he couldn’t handle the heat of the end of the world kitchen!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic big band? The Nuclear Jazz-tastrophy!
Why did the dinosaur become an apocalypse survivalist? Because he wanted to make a “T-Rex-ist” future possible.
Why did the vampire join the post-apocalyptic marathon? Because he wanted to cross the finish line in style.
Why was the apocalypse a great time to go to the gym? Because you could finally work on your post-apocalyptic body!
Why did the apocalypse farmer’s crops grow so well? Because they were “well-rooted” in the post-apocalyptic soil!
What do you call it when all the dogs start singing during the apocalypse? A bark-alypse!
Why did the robot become a comedian during the apocalypse? It wanted to lighten the mood in the post-apocalyptic wasteland!
Why did the vampire start a band during the apocalypse? Because he wanted to bring a little “life” back into the world!
Why did the apocalypse try yoga? It wanted to find some inner “calmageddon”!
What do you call a group of apocalyptic survivors who are also talented singers? The A-Capocalypse.
Why did the apocalypse cancel their dinner reservation? Because they were running out of thyme!
Why did the ghost go to the doctor during the apocalypse? Because he was feeling a little transparent!
Why don’t vampires worry about the apocalypse? Because they’re immortal, duh.
Why did the banana go into hiding during the apocalypse? Because it didn’t want to split under the pressure!
Why did the zombie go to the bakery? Because he wanted a bite of the end of the world.
Why did the apocalypse open a bakery? To make sure they always had a bread-y supply!
What did the doomsday prepper say to their friend? “I’ve been saving up for the apocalypse, and it’s finally paying off!”
Why did the apocalypse musician always play the trumpet? Because he wanted to “blow away” the bad vibes of the end times!
What did the zombie say to his friend during the apocalypse? “I love hanging out with you. You always bring out the life in me!”
Why did the apocalypse become a terrible time for cows? Because all the milk went sour!
What’s a zombie’s favorite dance move during the apocalypse? The thriller!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic mattress? A bedlam!
Why did the end of the world party get out of control? Because it was a total “apoc-a-lit” affair!
Why did the computer programmer survive the zombie apocalypse? Because he had a strong “delete” key.
Why did the zombie go to school during the apocalypse? To learn the ABCs (Always Be Chomping)!
Why did the Apocalypse survivor start a bakery? Because he wanted to make a killing with his bread!
What do you call a zombie who lost his car? A decom-pickup truck!
Why do ghosts enjoy the apocalypse? It’s a great time to scare up some fun!
Why did the apocalypse photographer never sell his pictures? Because they were all “out of this world”!
What’s a zombie’s favorite type of music? Decom-position!
Why did the apocalypse turn birds into fortune tellers? Because they always see the “end” coming!
Why did the vampire get in trouble during the apocalypse? He couldn’t resist biting into the “end times” dessert!
Why did the cannibal go to the apocalypse party? To meet new people and have a finger food buffet.
Why did the scientist try to bring dinosaurs back after the apocalypse? He thought they could help rebuild a Jurassic world.
What do you call a zombie apocalypse on a hot day? A “deadly” heat wave!
Why did the apocalypse chef always carry a garlic clove? To keep the vampires away and the pasta sauce tasting delicious!
What do you call a group of aliens during the apocalypse? The E.T. Apocalypse Squad.
Why did the vampire bring a flashlight to the apocalypse? In case he got stuck in a dark coffin!
Why did the scarecrow become a survivalist? Because he was outstanding in his field during the apocalypse!
Why did the alien enjoy the apocalypse? It finally felt at home in the chaos of Earth!
Why did the scientist start studying apocalyptic events? Because he wanted to make a groundbreaking discovery.
Why did the apocalypse survivor become an artist? Because they wanted to paint a “grim” picture of the future!
Why did the math book survive the apocalypse? It had too many problems to solve!
Why did the computer go to the apocalypse shelter? Because it heard there was a lot of cache there!
Why did the apocalypse love to play board games? Because it always wanted to rule the world!
Why did the robot apocalypse start at the circus? Because the clowns were the first to be replaced!

Apocalypse Jokes for Kids

Apocalypse jokes for kids are the unlikely superheroes of the joke world—adventurous, imaginative, and always a blast with the younger generation.

These jokes encourage kids to explore different scenarios, learn about cause and effect, and find humor in even the most unlikely situations.

They provide a safe space for kids to play with the concept of end-of-the-world scenarios in a fun and lighthearted way.

Moreover, apocalypse jokes for kids have the added benefit of sparking their curiosity about various scientific concepts like astronomy, geology, and even history!

Ready for an exciting ride?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them laughing till the end of time:

Why did the mummy become a detective? He always kept his wrap-sheet clean!
Why did the monster bring a ladder during the apocalypse? To reach for the stars and escape the chaos!
What do you get when you cross a zombie and a snowman during the apocalypse? Frostbite!
What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller-ghoster!
Why did the computer go crazy during the apocalypse? It had a byte of the end-of-the-world virus!
How did the apocalypse start? With a big “BOOM” box!
What did the robot say to the zombie during the apocalypse? “You byte more than you can chew!”
Why did the ghost get a promotion during the apocalypse? Because he was so good at haunting people!
What did the werewolf say during the apocalypse? “I’m having a howling good time!”
Why did the vampire get a job? He needed to “stake” out a new career!
Why did the witch prefer flying on a broomstick during the apocalypse? Because it was a ‘sweep’-er mode of transportation!
How did the werewolf win the game during the apocalypse? He took a “bite” out of the competition!
Why did the vampire get a promotion during the apocalypse? Because he always “sucked” up to the boss!
What did the tornado say to the house during the apocalypse? “I’ll be blown away if you don’t move out of the way!”
Why did the vampire get a job during the apocalypse? He needed to “count” on some income!
What did the apocalypse say to the sun? “You’re going down, hotshot!”
Why did the robot bring an umbrella to the apocalypse? To protect his circuits from acid rain.
Why did the vampire survive the apocalypse? Because he always had a coffin-dential plan!
Why did the vampire join the apocalypse survival team? Because he wanted to be on the “bite” side!
What do you call a scaredy-cat during the apocalypse? A “fraidy-ghost”!
Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He wanted to make a “grave” difference!
Why did the vampire stay indoors during the apocalypse? He didn’t want to catch a “virus”!
How does a ghost survive the apocalypse? By hiding in the boo-shes.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf with a snowstorm during the apocalypse? A frostbite!
Why did the mummy bring a ladder to the apocalypse? To “un-wrap” some fun!
What do you call a group of aliens that invades the Earth? Space invaders!
What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies!
Why did the apocalypse make the aliens feel right at home? Because it was totally out of this world!
Why did the zombie apply for a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded some dough during the apocalypse!
Why did the ghost go to the party after the apocalypse? To find some boo-ze!
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
What’s a zombie’s favorite type of exercise? The “dead” lift!
Why did the vampire lose weight during the apocalypse? The lack of blood made him a “light” eater!
What did the zombie say to his friend at the apocalypse party? “I’m dying to have a good time!”
What do you call a group of aliens that play music during the apocalypse? The “inter-galactic” band!
Why did the chicken join the zombie apocalypse? To prove she wasn’t a chicken!
What did the vampire say to the ghost during the apocalypse? It’s haunting time!
Why did the apocalypse cancel its dinner plans? It didn’t have any “end-times”!
What did the ghost say to the zombie during the apocalypse? “You’re a dead-icate creature!”
What did one zombie say to the other while chasing humans? “Let’s catch some fresh ‘grains’ for dinner!”
Why did the mummy take a vacation? To unwind and relax!
What did the alien say to the humans during the apocalypse? Take me to your leader, I come in peace… for now.
What do you call a zombie who cooks gourmet meals? A gourmand of the dead!
What do you call a funny skeleton? A “humerus” comedian!
Why did the chicken go to the bunker during the apocalypse? To protect its little nuggets!
What did the zombie say to the skeleton? “You crack me up, bonehead!”
Why did the skeleton bring a ladder to the apocalypse? Because he heard the world was falling apart!
Why did the ghost decide to stay during the apocalypse? He thought it was a great way to make new friends!
What do you call a group of animals trying to survive the apocalypse together? A “pocalypse”!
What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur before the apocalypse? Let’s make this meteor-able!
What do you call a dog that survived the apocalypse? A “survival woof”!
What kind of car does a zombie drive? A “corpse”-vette!
What do you call a group of scared potatoes during the apocalypse? Mashed survivors!
Why did the apocalypse student bring a ladder to class? To reach for the “end of the world”!
What do you call a haunted house during the apocalypse? A ghost town!
Why did the robot survive the apocalypse? Because it had nuts and bolts of steel!
What did the zombie say to the other zombie at the end of the world? “It’s a dead-end situation!”
What do you call a zombie who is good at math? An “alge-braaainiac”!
What did the zombie say to the vampire? You suck!
Why did the dinosaur bring a parachute to the apocalypse? In case it turned into a dino-soar.
Why did the ghost go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling boo-tiful!
Why did the monster open a bakery during the apocalypse? Because he wanted to sell ‘ghoul’-icious treats!
What did the zombie say to his friend during the apocalypse? “I’m dying to eat some brains!”
Why did the vampire take up gardening during the apocalypse? Because he wanted to grow his own “blood oranges”!
What do you call a witch who saves the world from the apocalypse? A spell-ebritarian.
Why did the ghost go to the amusement park? For a “haunting” good time!
What do you call a group of mutant rabbits during the apocalypse? Arm-hop-alyptic bunnies.
Why did the zombie go to school? To learn to count… brains!
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? “Hang on to your leaves, this is going to be a wild ride!”
What did the earthquake say to the city during the apocalypse? “Shake it up, baby, now!”
Why did the ghost go to the party alone? Because he couldn’t find his “ghoul”-friend!
What do you call a zombie who writes poetry during the apocalypse? A rhyme-dead-er!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why did the robot excel during the apocalypse? Because he had “survival” programming!
Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank during the apocalypse? Because he always wanted to work in a Type O-negative environment!
Why did the chicken survive the apocalypse? Because it had an “eggs-traordinary” escape plan!
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that can bite back!
What did the apocalypse say to the sun? “I’ll see you on the dark side!”
Why did the ghost go to the party during the apocalypse? Because he heard it was going to be a “dead” good time!
What do you call a zombie who can sing? An a-poca-lipsyncer!
Why did the vampire get a job during the apocalypse? To have a stake in the future!
What did one volcano say to the other during the apocalypse? “I lava you!”
What do you call a zombie who likes to dance? A disco-dead!
What did one zombie say to the other? “Do you smell fresh blood or is it just me?”
Why did the mummy start a band during the apocalypse? Because they had great rap wrappings!
What’s a vampire’s favorite hobby during the apocalypse? Counting the survivors!
What did the ghost say to the zombie during the apocalypse? “You sure know how to spook-tacularly survive!”
Why did the ghosts go on strike during the apocalypse? They wanted “boos”t in their working conditions!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t do any chores? Lazy bones!
Why did the tomato turn red during the apocalypse? Because it saw the “end” of the world!
Why did the sun go to school? To get a little “flare” for the apocalypse!
What do you call a skeleton who won a marathon during the apocalypse? Bare-bones champion!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack during the apocalypse? Spare ribs.
What did the zombie say to his friend during the apocalypse? “I love hanging out with you. You’re never judgmental, you’re always a shoulder to bite on!”
Why did the vampire become a comedian? He always had a great sense of humerus!
What do you call a ghost’s favorite cereal during the apocalypse? “Booberries”!
How do zombies say hello during the apocalypse? They give a “ghoul” wave!
Why did the skeleton go to the party during the apocalypse? Because he had no-body else to hang out with!
Why did the skeleton stay home from work? He didn’t have the guts to face the day!
What did the thunderstorm say to the scared kid during the apocalypse? “Don’t worry, I’m just a little ‘shocking’!”
What’s a ghost’s favorite ride during the apocalypse? The roller-ghoster!
What did the alien say to the human during the apocalypse? Take me to your leader or at least a good hiding spot!
Why did the ghost go to the therapist during the apocalypse? He needed help dealing with his “spiritual” crisis!
What do you call a scared vegetable during the apocalypse? A cauliflower!
Why did the monster bring a ladder to the apocalypse? To “climb” his way out of trouble!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t fight? A “bone”-afide pacifist!
Why did the mummy become a detective? He was good at “unraveling” mysteries!
Why did the chicken survive the apocalypse? Because it had “fowl” play skills!
What do you call a zombie that likes to play sports? A “Dreadful” athlete!
Why did the vampire get a job during the apocalypse? He wanted to work the graveyard shift!
Why did the vampire always carry a map during the apocalypse? In case he got “staked”!
Why did the werewolf bring a flashlight during the apocalypse? To light up the ‘howl-way’!
What do you call a ghost that gets in trouble? A spook that needs a time-out!
How do zombies make friends during the apocalypse? They just eat their way into people’s hearts!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of apocalypse? A sea-zombie-d! Arrrgh you ready?
Why did the zombie go to school? To eat some brain-teasers!
Why did the vampire become a musician after the apocalypse? Because he wanted to play in a cryptic band!
Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his brain-dead-emic skills!
What is a zombie’s favorite snack during the apocalypse? Brain-gelato!
What’s a monster’s favorite dessert during the apocalypse? “Scream” brûlée!
Why did the zombie go to school? Because he wanted to learn his ABC-dead!
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? A “try-ceratops”!
Why did the zombie always carry a pencil? In case he needed to draw blood!
Why did the chicken run away during the apocalypse? It heard the sky was falling!
What did the earthquake say to the city during the apocalypse? “I’ve got the shakes!”
What do you call a zombie with no teeth? Gummy bear!
Why did the ghost go to the doctor during the apocalypse? Because it had a “ghoul” in its throat!
Why did the ghost go into hiding during the apocalypse? He didn’t want to be a-scare-d!
How do zombies celebrate their birthday? They raise a “grave”-yard!
What do you call a vampire who tells jokes during the apocalypse? A fang-tastic comedian!
Why did the monster go on a diet during the apocalypse? He wanted to shed some “gore”!
Why did the monster take up gardening during the apocalypse? He wanted to grow a-maze-ing plants to scare away humans!
Why did the zombie join a gym? To get some body mass!
What do you call a monster who tells jokes? A comedian-gator!
What do you call a funny apocalypse? A “laugh-apocalypse!”
What did the ghost say to the monster during the apocalypse? “You’re a real “boo”tiful disaster!”

Apocalypse Jokes for Adults

Who says the end of the world can’t be funny?

Apocalypse jokes for adults add a dash of humor to the doom and gloom, weaving clever punchlines into grim scenarios.

Just like a well-crafted dystopian novel, these jokes merge elements of wit, insight, and a sprinkle of dark humor for an unforgettable chuckle.

These jokes are perfect for cocktail parties, late-night gatherings, or simply to add some levity to a heavy conversation among friends.

Here are some apocalypse jokes that are ready to rock your world:

Why did the hipster survive the apocalypse? Because he already had a beard and flannel shirt to blend in with the post-apocalyptic wasteland!
Why did the vampire survive the apocalypse? Because it had a coffin to hide in during the day!
Why was the vampire so popular during the apocalypse? He always knew how to make a bloody good entrance!
Why did the vampire start collecting canned food? He heard there would be a blood shortage during the apocalypse!
Why did the apocalypse chef get fired? He always overcooked the “end of days” special!
Why did the apocalypse cancel its subscription to the newspaper? It couldn’t handle all the bad news!
What did the doomsday prepper say to their non-prepper friend? “I told you so!”… from their underground bunker.
Why did the comedian get a gig during the apocalypse? He knew how to deliver killer punchlines!
Why did the end of the world party flop? Nobody came.
Why did the apocalypse break up with its girlfriend? It said it needed some “space”!
Why did the comedy club close during the apocalypse? They had a terrible lineup. All their comedians were dead… literally.
What’s the post-apocalyptic version of a fashion show? A runway filled with ripped jeans and tattered designer clothes!
What do you call a psychic midget who escaped the apocalypse? A small medium at large!
Why did the end of the world party disappoint everyone? It was a complete “apoca-bust”!
What did the doomsday prepper say about the zombie apocalypse? “I guess it’s time to put my survival skills to the test, braaains!”
Why did the zombie go to school during the apocalypse? He wanted to eat a few “brains” before lunch!
Why did the toilet paper become the most valuable item during the apocalypse? Because it was the ultimate wipe-out!
Why did the zombie go to the therapist? He felt like he was just going through the motions after the apocalypse!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a fashion line? Because they wanted to create “armageddon” fabulous outfits!
Why did the zombie go to the party? Because it heard it was going to be a grave affair!
Why did the computer programmer survive the apocalypse? Because he knew how to “debug” the end of the world!
Why did the apocalypse conspiracy theorist get a promotion? Because they were the only ones who saw it coming!
Why did the zombie go on a diet? It wanted to shed some apocapounds!
What’s the apocalypse survivor’s favorite type of humor? Dark comedy, of course!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms during the apocalypse? Because they make up everything!
Why did the zombie sign up for a marathon after the apocalypse? It wanted to prove it had guts!
Why don’t zombies ever win races? Because they always have a dead start!
Why did the chicken cross the road during the apocalypse? To get to the other bunker!
What’s a doomsday prepper’s favorite pickup line? “Are you a natural disaster? Because you just rocked my world!”
Why did the apocalypse stop being a morning person? Because it hated waking up with no civilization!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a band? He wanted to play some post-apocalyptic tunes and rock the wasteland!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start gardening? Because he wanted to grow a post-apocalyptic salad!
What do you call a group of zombies that performs synchronized swimming? The walking dead sea.
Why did the apocalypse get fired from its job? It couldn’t handle the pressure and kept missing deadlines!
Why did the scientist bring a ladder during the apocalypse? So he could reach new heights of understanding the end of the world!
What did the apocalyptic tomato say to the cucumber? “We’re in a real pickle now, aren’t we?”
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the mall? He wanted to shop ’til he dropped!
Why did the apocalypse survivor refuse to share his food? He believed in the saying, ‘Every man for himself, and every can of beans for me!'”
Why did the zombie go to the therapist? It wanted help with its post-apocalyptic stress disorder!
What did the apocalypse survivor say to his friend who was always prepared? “You’re the ultimate doomsday prepper!”
Why did the apocalyptic bartender refuse to serve zombies? Because they always tip with their brains!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a farm? They wanted to have the freshest produce after the world ended!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a band? They wanted to be known as the “End of the World Tour”!
Why did the ghost refuse to haunt during the apocalypse? It said the end of the world was too mainstream!
Why did the apocalypse-themed restaurant go out of business? The food was “armageddon” awful!
Why was the end of the world party a flop? It was a real doomsday event!
What did the horse say when the world was about to end? “Neigh-pocalypse!”
Why did the apocalypse happen during the winter? So the zombies could have their own “Winter Feast” with frozen brainsicles.
Why did the zombie go to the party alone? He couldn’t find anyone with brains to go with him!
What did the apocalypse say to the meteor? Let’s make this planet a little more out of this world!
Why did the vampire survive the apocalypse? It turns out, their dietary preferences made them immune to the virus. Who knew?
Why did the zombie bring a ladder to the apocalypse? It wanted to reach new heights in brain consumption!
What did one apocalypse survivor say to the other? “I hope there’s a vegan option in the wasteland!”
What do you call an apocalyptic dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, it won’t come when you call it anyway!
Why did the vegetarian survive the apocalypse? Because they had a strong defense against meat-eaters!
How did the Apocalypse kick off its morning? With an Armageddon-ut!
Why did the apocalypse photographer win an award? Because they captured the end of the world picture-perfectly!
Why did the apocalypse survivor refuse to eat canned food? He didn’t want his last meal to be spam.
Why did the doomsday prepper start a cooking show? He wanted to show how to make “armageddon” chicken!
Why did the zombie go to the therapist after the apocalypse? It wanted help dealing with its existential crisis!
Why did the zombie skip his zombie apocalypse marathon? Because he couldn’t find the motivation to keep running when he’s already dead tired!
Why did the vampire refuse to participate in the apocalypse? Because he couldn’t stomach the stakes!
Why did the scientist bring a ladder to the apocalypse? Because he wanted to conduct a high-level research study!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a bakery? Because they kneaded dough to survive!
What did one apocalypse survivor say to the other? “I guess the end is near-sighted!”
Why did the apocalypse cancel its vacation? It said it couldn’t find any suitable apoca-lodging!
What’s the difference between the apocalypse and a bad date? At least during the apocalypse, you get to choose who you’re stuck with!
Why did the zombie go to the bakery during the apocalypse? To get his daily bread!
What’s an apocalypse survivor’s favorite song? “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)”
Why did the Apocalypse only last for 15 minutes? It was the end of the world express!
Why did the zombie eat a clock? He wanted a taste of the good times!
What did the doomsday prepper say to his friends? “I’m not a pessimist, I’m just preparing for the worst-case scenario!”
Why did the zombie go to therapy? It had an existential crisis after realizing it could never taste its own brain.
Why did the vampire decide to join the apocalypse survivors? It figured it would be a great way to “suck the life” out of the situation!
What do you call a group of cannibals during the apocalypse? A horde-eating party!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a band? They wanted to play “post-apocalyptic” music!
Why did the end of the world party get canceled? Nobody could find a date!
What’s the best way to survive the apocalypse? Make sure you always have a good sense of humor, because laughter is the last refuge!
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the abandoned building? He heard the rent was going through the roof!
What’s the best part about a post-apocalyptic grocery store? No lines!
Why did the apocalypse take up painting? It wanted to brush up on its end-of-the-world art!
Why did the vampire get lonely during the apocalypse? Because all the blood banks were closed!
Why did the mutant tomato turn red during the apocalypse? It was ripe with radioactive power!
What did the doomsday prepper say to his friend during the apocalypse? “I told you I wasn’t crazy!”
Why was the zombie so good at math during the apocalypse? Because it loved to multiply!
Why did the scientist at the apocalypse research facility get fired? They accidentally started a “zombie apocalypse” instead of curing it!
Why did the comedian fail in the apocalypse? Because his jokes were too deadpan!
What’s a zombie’s favorite kind of music during the apocalypse? Decomposition rock!
Why don’t zombies like eating comedians? They taste funny!
Why did the vampire refuse to join the apocalypse survival team? He couldn’t stomach the idea of eating non-organic blood!
Why did the apocalypse survivor refuse to eat the canned food? Because he couldn’t stomach the end of the world “cuisine”!
What did the apocalypse say to the party? “Sorry, I’m just not in the mood to socialize… I’m a bit of a party pooper!”
Why did the genie refuse to grant wishes during the apocalypse? It said doomsday was not the right time for wishful thinking!
What do you call a group of apocalyptic chickens? Armageddoneggs!
What did the apocalypse survivor say to their mirror reflection? “I guess I’m the last man standing… or am I?”
Why did the apocalypse survivors start an improv group? To keep their spirits high while the world was falling apart!
Why did the vampire decide to join the apocalypse party? Because he heard it was a bloody good time!
What’s a zombie’s favorite meal during an apocalypse? Brain stew.
Why don’t zombies ever learn to dance? They have no soul.
What did the pessimistic survivalist say? “I don’t see the point in preparing for an apocalypse, the world is already a mess!”
What is an apocalypse survivor’s favorite exercise? Armageddon curls!
Why did the werewolf join the apocalypse resistance? He wanted a chance to show off his hairy situation!
Why did the zombie decide to become a comedian during the apocalypse? He wanted to “slay” the audience with his jokes!
Why did the apocalypse writer get a promotion? They really knew how to end things on a high note!
Why did the doomsday prepper start a clothing line? Because they wanted to make a killing in the fashion industry!
What did the apocalypse survivor say to their friend during a poker game? “I hope I don’t have to bet my “end-of-the-world” supplies!”
Why did the zombie go to college? He wanted a degree in Decomposition!
Why did the apocalypse paint its face white? It wanted to blend in with the clouds!
What did the apocalypse survivor say when they found a working TV? “Looks like we have a post-apocalypse screening party!”
How do you survive a zombie apocalypse in style? By wearing designer body armor, of corpse!
What do you call a group of apocalypse survivors who love to sing? The Choirs of Armageddon!
Why did the apocalypse party get out of hand? Everyone wanted to be the life of the end-of-the-world party!
Why did the vampire refuse to join the apocalypse survivors? He didn’t want to be a “biter”!
What do you call a group of survivalists who throw a party during the apocalypse? The end of the world bash-ers!
Why did the pessimist survive the apocalypse? They were already expecting the worst-case scenario.
Why did the zombie go to the party? It wanted to have a “thriller” night!
What’s the best way to survive an apocalypse? Stay calm and make sure you have Netflix and a lifetime supply of popcorn!
Why did the apocalypse survivor open a bakery? Because he wanted to make dough while the world crumbled!
What’s a doomsday prepper’s favorite exercise? Armageddon-gettin’!
Why was the doomsday prepper always smiling? He knew he had a blast waiting for him.
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a bakery? They wanted to make a killing with their end-of-the-world pastries!
Why did the vampire quit his job after the apocalypse? He couldn’t find any vein opportunities!
Why did the zombie stop eating humans during the apocalypse? He decided to go vegan and only munch on veggie brains!
Why did the chicken cross the road during the apocalypse? To show the humans that there’s still a chance for survival on the other side!
What do you call a group of zombies playing cards during the apocalypse? A dead man’s hand!
Why did the apocalypse survivor become a dentist? Because they wanted to fill the post-apocalyptic cavities!
Why did the post-apocalyptic musician form a band with zombies? Because he wanted to play some “deadly” tunes!
Why did the apocalypse survivor become a chef? They wanted to make “end-of-the-world” cuisine!
Why did the apocalypse survivor become a dentist? He wanted to fill the gaps in people’s post-apocalyptic smiles!
Why did the apocalypse chef make so many casseroles? Because he wanted to serve the last supper!
Why did the vampire get a job after the apocalypse? He needed to make some “grave” decisions!
Why did the computer programmer survive the apocalypse? They were skilled at debugging the system!
What do you call an apocalypse survivor with a sense of humor? A comic relief!
Why did the zombies go to the school? They wanted to improve their “braaains”!
What did the apocalypse say to the asteroid? Let’s rock this world together!
Why did the apocalypse become a great time for introverts? They finally had an excuse to avoid social gatherings!
What did the apocalypse say to the zombie? “You can’t be dead and alive at the same time, it’s against the rules!”
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a gardening business? They wanted to bloom even in the end times!
Why did the mummy become a motivational speaker during the apocalypse? Because he knew how to wrap up a good speech!
Why do zombies never win at poker during the apocalypse? They always give away their tells with their decaying facial expressions!
What did one apocalypse survivor say to the other? “I’ll be your shelter if you be my canned goods!”
Why did the apocalypse survivor join a gym? Because he wanted to be in “apocalyptic” shape!
Why did the apocalypse regret going to the comedy club? Because all the jokes were a real “end of the world” experience!
Why do survivors in the apocalypse make terrible comedians? Their timing is always a little off…
What do you call a hipster who survives the apocalypse? An apoca-hipster!
Why did the end of the world come as a shock to the math teacher? He couldn’t count on it!
Why did the zombie go to the gym during the apocalypse? He wanted to get into better disemboweling shape!
Why did the apocalypse survivors start a band? They wanted to make sure their final performance was legendary!
What do you call a group of post-apocalyptic singers? The Surviving Harmonics!
What do you call a prehistoric apocalypse? A dinosaur wreck.
What’s the best way to start a conversation during the apocalypse? “Hey, have you tried the new post-apocalyptic dating app? It’s called Tinder and Brimstone!”
Why did the apocalypse survivor open a bakery? They wanted to bring some “apocalyptic dough”!
What did the fortune teller say to the survivors after the apocalypse? “I told you this was in your future, didn’t I?”
Why did the zombie open a bakery after the apocalypse? He wanted to make a killing with his buns!
What do you call a fashionable survivor in the post-apocalyptic world? A trend-zombie!
What did one survivor say to the other during the apocalypse? “I’m dying to meet new people!”
Why did the chicken survive the apocalypse? It crossed the road before it all went down!
Why did the apocalypse survivor start a bakery? They wanted to have the “last batch” of delicious treats!
What did the doomsday prepper say after finishing a puzzle? “Well, at least I know how to survive an apocalypse!”
Why did the zombie open a bakery after the apocalypse? Because it wanted to sell finger foods!
Why did the apocalypse party get canceled? Nobody wanted to go, it was the end of the world!
What do you call a group of survivalists who meet every day for coffee? A “brew-mageddon”!
Why did the vampire open a blood bank during the apocalypse? Because it was a “life-saving” business opportunity!
What did the doomsday prepper say to his friends? “I told you I’d be ready when the end of the world came!”
Why did the apocalypse survivor refuse to play cards? They didn’t want to deal with the Fallout!
How do you know it’s the end of the world? When the post-apocalyptic scavengers are fighting over the last roll of toilet paper!
What’s the difference between a pre-apocalypse party and a post-apocalypse party? The latter has more “end of the world” discussions!
Why did the ghost get invited to the apocalypse shelter? Because he was dying to attend!
What is a zombie’s favorite drink during the apocalypse? A bloody mary!
Why did the apocalypse survivor become a gardener? So they could grow their own post-apocalyptic salad!
Why did the mushroom survive the apocalypse? Because it was a real fungi to be around!
Why did the hipster survive the apocalypse? Because he had an underground, organic, gluten-free bunker!
Why did the zombie become a stand-up comedian during the apocalypse? Because he always killed it on stage!
Why did the apocalypse survivor go to the farmer’s market? To stock up on canned goods and fresh brains!
What did the apocalypse survivor say to the alien invader? “You’re a little late to the destruction party!”
Why did the apocalypse cancel its plans? It just couldn’t make a big enough bang!
What did one apocalypse survivor say to the other? “I’m sorry, but I only date people with post-apocalyptic fashion sense.”
Why did the meteorologist become the most popular person during the apocalypse? He always had the latest forecast of doom and gloom.
Why did the zombie go to the party? It heard there would be a “graveyard smash!”
Why did the apocalypse survivor bring a ladder to the end of the world? He wanted to reach new heights, even if it’s just for a little longer!
What do you call a post-apocalyptic superhero? The Last Avenger!
Why did the zombie go to the gym? It wanted to work on its cardio before the apocalypse!
What do you call a group of apocalypse survivors who open a restaurant? The “End of the World Buffet”!
What is the zombie’s favorite kind of weather during the apocalypse? Brainstorms!
What do you call a group of musicians playing during the apocalypse? The final chorus!
How do zombies celebrate the apocalypse? They have a graveyard party and call it the “End of the World Bash.”
Why did the apocalypse survivor become a stand-up comedian? They wanted to bring some laughter to the “end times”!
What do you get if you cross a vampire with the end of the world? The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2.
How did the apocalyptic chef make his soup? He just threw everything into the cauldron and hoped for the best!
Why did the apocalypse survivor join a gym? He wanted to be fit enough to outrun the zombies!
Why don’t zombies ever win beauty pageants? Because they have too many body parts missing!
What did the apocalypse survivor say to the alien invader? “You picked the wrong planet to conquer, buddy!”
Why did the hipster survive the apocalypse? He had enough cans of artisanal pickles and craft beer to last a lifetime.
Why did the apocalypse survivor become a musician? They wanted to bring some harmony back into the world!
What’s the best way to survive the zombie apocalypse? Don’t skip leg day!

Apocalypse Joke Generator

Creating the perfect apocalypse joke can sometimes feel like the end of the world.

Did that make you chuckle?

That’s the magic of our FREE Apocalypse Joke Generator at work.

Designed to combine witty wordplay, dark humor, and tongue-in-cheek predictions, it churns out jokes that are certain to provoke laughter, even in the face of impending doom.

Don’t let your humor meet an untimely end.

Use our joke generator to create jokes that are as lively and enduring as your post-apocalyptic spirit.

FAQs About Apocalypse Jokes

Why are apocalypse jokes so popular?

Apocalypse jokes are popular because they play on our fascination with the end of the world, dystopian themes, and survival scenarios.

They provide a humorous take on serious subjects, making them more approachable and less daunting.

Can apocalypse jokes help in social situations?

Yes!

Apocalypse jokes can lighten the mood in social situations.

Whether it’s breaking the ice or injecting humor into a conversation, these jokes can be a fun way to explore ‘what if’ scenarios without actually being in one.

How can I come up with my own apocalypse jokes?

Get familiar with the common scenarios in apocalyptic literature or movies—zombies, nuclear fallout, alien invasion, etc.
Look for the ironic or funny side of survival situations. For instance, running out of toilet paper during the apocalypse.
Use common phrases or idioms and give them an apocalyptic twist.
Play with the absurdity of common day-to-day things becoming precious commodities.
Don’t be afraid to use dark humor, but remember to keep it light-hearted and appropriate for your audience.

Are there any tips for remembering apocalypse jokes?

Consider the context where you might use these jokes—maybe during a movie night, a conversation about survival skills, or when discussing dystopian literature.

Associating the jokes with these contexts can help you remember them.

How can I make my apocalypse jokes better?

The key to a great joke is the element of surprise and relating to your audience.

Keep your jokes unexpected yet relatable, and don’t be afraid to push boundaries—within reason.

The more you practice, the better your jokes will get.

How does the Apocalypse Joke Generator work?

Our Apocalypse Joke Generator is designed to generate humor on demand.

Enter keywords related to apocalyptic themes or situations and press Generate Jokes.

The generator will create a variety of jokes that play on common themes, making it easy to find humor in the end of the world.

Is the Apocalypse Joke Generator free?

Absolutely, our Apocalypse Joke Generator is entirely free to use!

You’re welcome to generate as many jokes as you want to keep the laughter going, even when the subject is as grave as the apocalypse.

Conclusion

Apocalypse jokes are an intriguing way to add a dash of dark humor to everyday conversations, making life a bit more entertaining with each chortle.

From the short and sardonic to the lengthy and laughter-inducing, there’s an apocalypse joke for every situation.

So next time you’re contemplating the end of days, remember, there’s humor to be found in every disaster, dystopia, and downfall.

Keep spreading the mirth, and let the good times doom and gloom.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without apocalypses—unthinkable and, frankly, a bit less thrilling.

Happy joking, everyone!

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FAQs About Apocalypse Jokes

Why are apocalypse jokes so popular?

Can apocalypse jokes help in social situations?

How can I come up with my own apocalypse jokes?

Are there any tips for remembering apocalypse jokes?

How can I make my apocalypse jokes better?

How does the Apocalypse Joke Generator work?

Is the Apocalypse Joke Generator free?

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Why are apocalypse jokes so popular?

Can apocalypse jokes help in social situations?

How can I come up with my own apocalypse jokes?

Are there any tips for remembering apocalypse jokes?

How can I make my apocalypse jokes better?

How does the Apocalypse Joke Generator work?

Is the Apocalypse Joke Generator free?

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